This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
March 3rd, 2004
FADE IN: EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - DAY A fishing boat pushes over choppy water. FOUR GUN TOTING MEN on Jet Skis wearing black wet suits and goggles escort the boat. Flying above it is a HELICOPTER. INT. FISHING BOAT/CONTROL DECK - CONTINUOUS A SERBIAN MAN captains the wheel. SERB 2 scans the horizon with binoculars. He checks the GPS system, then his watch, then speaks into his throat mic. All italics are Serbian w/ subtitles: SERB 2 Fifteen minutes to delivery. EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - CONTINUOUS The JET SKIER in the lead weighs in on a radio. INT. SEA HAWK 1 - CONTINUOUS The HELICOPTER PILOT weighs in. PILOT All clear from above. EXT. SKY - CONTINUOUS The camera descends as the boat passes, and dives beneath the surface. EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - CONTINUOUS
The droning of engines becomes less pronounced. Foam from the boat and skis bubbles. REAngels. water. Calm. Then from out of nowhere five NAVY SEALs wearing BREATHERS appear, in neat formation like the Blue JET PROPELLED BACKPACKS push the SEALs through the The LEAD SEAL: SHANE WOLFE, points upwards. All eyes follow his finger to the underbelly of the boat above. From his belt, Shane takes a steel wand with an adhesive disc attached, aims it at the fleeing boat and FIRES. A cable shoots up -- THUD... The disc sticks to the boat's hull. Shane pushes a button on the wand the cable and drawing himself closer. Dangling from the cruiser, Shane fixes a BOMB to the hull. He releases himself from the boat and speeds away --
BOOM. A dense explosion sends ripples through the water and ELECTRICITY crackling around the boat. INT. FISHING BOAT/CONTROL DECK - CONTINUOUS A SURGE of ELECTRICAL FORCE blasts from the control panel. SPARKS fly. the The two Serbian Men jolt backwards -- WHAM -- and hit wall. All the needles inside all the dials go LIMP. The roar of the engines DIES and the boat STOPS. EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN, UNDER THE BOAT - CONTINUOUS Shane slips inside the hull, through the new hole. INT. SEA HAWK 1 - CONTINUOUS The chopper slows to a hover. PILOT What's happening? The Pilot looks below.
EXT. PACIFIC OCEAN - CONTINUOUS The jet skiers protectively circle the injured boat in a SYNCHRONIZED SWIMMING move, and the Jet Ski drivers are simultaneously YANKED below the surface: a split second later they're replaced by our SEALS (ALSO IN BLACK WET SUITS AND GOGGLES) -- the switch happens in less than a second, way too fast for anyone to notice. INT. FISHING BOAT/CONTROL DECK - CONTINUOUS The shaken Serbs climb to their feet. SERBIAN 2 What happened? They look around, and see the SEALS, on the jet skis: In the masks they are indistinguishable from the GUNTOTTING MEN they switched paces with. All seems clear. Serb 1 pushes on the throttle... nothing. SERBIAN 1 We've been hit. We're taking on water. Suddenly the boat lists -- and water pours in, under the cabin door. They spring into action! SERBIAN 1 (CONT'D) Grab the professor, quick! 3.
EXT. DECK - CONTINUOUS Serb 1 rushes out, shouting orders: He alerts four ARMED GUARDS and the Jet Ski drivers (now our Seals). SERBIAN 1 Something must be below us! Shoot! Shoot! 2 The Armed Guards fire relentlessly into the water. Serb rushes below deck. INT. SHIP'S HOLD - CONTINUOUS PROFESSOR CHARLES PLUMMER, bound to a chair and gagged, tries to YELP as the room begins to flood with water. INT. SHIP'S CORRIDOR - SIMULTANEOUS
But you have to do exactly what I say. The Armed Guards stop shooting into the water. I'm gonna get you outta here. INT. Do you copy? (Plummer nods. One of our SEALS calls out to them.to Serb 2 runs down steps to the lowermost hold. where a metal BRIEFCASE is floating. PLUMMER How did you know where I. when I say it.. ON THE DECK . in PERFECT SERBIAN: SEAL KEEP SHOOTING! The Guards fire again. he is forced back by a three foot wall of water. The SEAL speaks into his neck mic. SHIP'S HOLD . My way -. Shane doesn't seem the slightest bit fazed by the circumstances.. to the roof. giving Shane sticks the mouth piece into Plummer's mouth. Shane removes his mouth piece..) Where's the briefcase? The Professor gestures across the room. but can't get free. United States Navy. hauling the Professor up. SEAL (CONT'D) Give it a second. Up to his nose. Plummer screams.. Then Shane Wolf rises out of the water. him his oxygen. EXT. When it finally opens. He cuts the Professor's GAG. SHANE Lieutenant Shane Wolfe. He's gone. over his head. He tries force the door open.CONTINUOUS Professor Plummer panics.no highway option. terrified.. As the water rises.SIMULTANEOUS 4. they're almost out of ammo. Shane calmly HANDCUFFS it to his own waist. . as the water rises up to his mouth He struggles.
HELICOPTER . Shane pulls out a retractable CROSSBOW. ON THE SURFACE OF THE WATER . until there's nothing but empty CLICKS from their guns. SEAL (CONT'D) Now Lieutenant. SHIP'S HOLD . more!" They do. then disappear gracefully back into the water.A SECOND LATER Shane appears at the Pilot's door..CONTINUOUS Just before the water envelopes him and Plummer. Shane swings into the hot seat and grabs the controls. 5..MOMENTS LATER Shane and the Professor rise to the surface as the boat falters behind them. Shane takes a deep breath.The Seal calls out: "shoot more. SHANE You know how to swim? The Pilot nods. EXT. HELICOPTER .CONTINUOUS The SEALS on the Jet Skis SALUTE Shane in the chopper. holding the Professor. OCEAN'S SURFACE . SHANE (into his mic) I've got the Prof and the case. He . SHANE INT. the Professor and the briefcase UNDER the water. INT. It clicks open and he shoots a CABLE into the belly of the helicopter above him. INT. Shane TOSSES the Pilot out. Chopper's four meters at your 10 o'clock.CONTINUOUS looks Shane smiles. Shane addresses the Pilot in perfect SERBIAN. pulling the Professor in behind him. Hold on. clearly he loves this kind of day. terrified. and pulls himself. First round's on me back at Virginia Beach.
shutting him up.. how'd we. Can I call my wife to let her know I'm okay? SHANE Negative.beside him. Charles stops Shane. She thinks I'm dead.. Shane sticks the mouth piece back in the Professors' mouth. Not imperative to the mission.. I'm just not big on chit chat. Please. SHANE (this gets him:) Make it quick.. EXT. CHARLES I'm safe. PLUMMER Oh my God.. waits. The Professor takes out his mouth piece.A LITTLE LATER A Pave Hawk SH-60 helicopter. PLUMMER (through the mouth piece) Why? Poison gas? SHANE (re: the oxygen) No. I can't believe you.. That was the most incredible. rotors whirling slowly. SHANE Better keep that on `til we get to the rendezvous point. CHARLES Lieutenant. (then) Don't you have a family? 6. I have strict orders to get you out of here safely. thank you. the Professor looks terrified. Lieutenant. We have to keep moving. Shane and Charles sprint from the chopper towards the waiting Hawk. (He pats his briefcase) You saved more than just my life today. . Shane's chopper appears from behind a tree line and sets down atop the mountain by a stream. MOUNTAIN CLEARING .
DEAD. SHANE Charles takes a cell-phone out of the case.Charles picks up his briefcase.CONTINUOUS The Shane climbs in the Hawk and approaches the cockpit. The briefcase pops open. (gestures back:) Those guys back there tried to get this case open for five days -. that's my specialty. I'm alive. All goes . back to him.. Shane drops. Just gives us a - The Pilot slumps forward. Shane considers. RUN!!! black. you want to see it? Negative. It's voice activated. Shane looks at him... SHANE We're almost ready.. except for the phone and a family PHOTO. Charles dials. knocked unconscious. puzzled. CHARLES (CONT'D) Honey.. WHAM.. I do security. Shane looks in the case: it's EMPTY. Designed it myself.couldn't crack it. PAVE HAWK . and talks.. Charles dials his cell phone. He holds the lock up to his mouth and whispers into it: CHARLES Joe. PILOT sits. INT. Peter. Shane turnsSHANE (CONT'D) Professor. then hands him his satellite phone. nothing CHARLES Battery's dead. Lulu. I have a picture of my kids in here.. CHARLES (CONT'D) My kids.. Todd. Tyler.. And you should see what happens to you if open it without the code.
And I except full responsibility for the mission's failure. Shane salutes him with his bandaged arm -. He sees Charles. His arm and face bandaged. sir. BILL (CONT'D) We've been through a lot together Shane. I know sir. unassuming. Everything is ablaze.O. SHANE . grabs the picture of Charles' kids then goes unconscious.7. Shane reaches out.it hurts to salute. He looks around. He takes a long look at Shane.DAY Shane lies in a hospital bed.. Shane's Captain enters: BILL FAWCETT (35) -. in slow-motion.. Captain.DAY TITLE CARD: 1 Month Later INT. and takes Charles' Briefcase. Bill sits down beside the bed. BILL Why the hell did you let him use the satellite phone? . barely conscious.friendly.: Everything is a blur. as the chopper ignites. despondent. F ADE TO BLACK: EST. You're the best man I ever trained. There is huge explosion. SHANE'S P. A VERY TALL MAN steps out.MOMENTS LATER The helicopter is on fire. unconscious. SHANE BILL As you were Lieutenant. EXT.V. And a good friend. but he does it anyway. A Huey Helicopter lands. He looks like he hasn't slept in days. HOSPITAL . He holds a REPORT in his hand. Wolf lies facedown in the stream. PAVE HAWK . HOSPITAL .
I. A lapse in judgement on my part that I regret sir.. and sits opposite Shane.. He was working on a program that scrambles launch codes. He can't believe his good fortune. I'm gonna need the mini sub. is still out there. disappointed. SHANE The case was empty sir. appreciate your confidence..H.H.. He called it G. He pulls up a chair.S. SHANE Sir.. G. as I stated in my report. Bill considers this. It's not that kind of mission. but they couldn't get S inside the briefcase. SHANE (CONT'D) I'll need to put a team together..SHANE He had to call his family.. That's what the Serbians kidnapped him for.T. Bill shakes his head.a genius. 8. Not like the professor to hide things where someone might look for them. and starts to rise. disconnects an IV. I need access to an EP3 aries 2 spy plane.T.S. BILL Not a surprise. One pulse from the GHOST satellite and a country can't launch its own nukes. he pulls off bandages.O. Then.. (Bill smiles:) which is why I'm going to give you another shot. Thank you.O. . Invigorated. Plummer was the best security expert the department of defense ever had -. Shane sits up. really.: Guided High-altitude Scrambling Transmitter. BILL (interrupting:) Negative. BILL .
Whoever killed the professor must think G.... You gotta problem with this mission? SHANE Sirnosir...O. is in that house. I love you. CHARLES (O. Shane is shocked.) Honey.. SHANE'S APARTMENT . Listen: A lot can happen between here and home -. BILL The professor's wife requested you. BILL . Bill pulls a tiny tape recorder from his pocket.. I got a call from the professor's wife. Maybe it is. anyway. CUT TO: INT. It's just that. presses play.Shane listens. maybe it isn't. (MORE) 9.S.. I'll call you in an hour. Shane Wolfe. top to bottom.NIGHT . BILL(CONT'D) She's scared. intrigued.. BILL (CONT'D) Two days ago. I'm alive. And while you're there -find out if the program is in there. The family's scared. Either way. SHANE That's it? Why would you want me for that. hearing the dead man's voice.H. and protect them. we hear PROFESSOR PLUMMER'S voice. He's a good man.S. She told me someone had broken into her home. sir. Shane is surprised. Not even when I was a kid sir.if anything happens to me. I should go.. sir.T. Searched the place. Widow. call Lt. I've never been very good with kids. I need someone to stay at that house.
like it's a lucky rabbit's foot. then unzips his suit and pins it to the inside. SUBURBAN STREET . Shane double-checks the address.) (before she sees Shane:) Look. we're not interested. Lulu eyes Shane. . He opens a drawer: There's five t-shirts. camouflage vest. identical to the one he wears. He opens another drawer: Five khaki pants. night vision goggles. WE hear heavier footsteps approaching. Shane packs his duffel with military gear: GPS compass. Shane eyes Lulu.AFTERNOON A taxi door opens.. EXT.V. 8.s. also identical to the one he wears.. Shane's P. He opens the closet: There's a massive furcollared coat. if you're with the Hare Krishnas. The sprinklers go off. It SQUEAKS. EMALE VOICE (o. Shane heads to the door. 10.Shane packs his duffel bag.then the door swings open. and pulls out a small. with toys all over the lawn. Shane looks like a bad ass. Shane looks down -. they all go in. He steps from the taxi onto an adorable TROLL doll on the sidewalk. then: LULU Mom! There's some weird bald guy at the door! SLAM. Shane frowns. He rejects it.O. old MEDAL: the ribbon is faded and frayed. Lulu shuts the door in Shane's face.. He reaches in. then goes back to his it chest of drawers. Hm.: Julie's unkempt suburban house. Shane darts to the door and rings the bell (it's one of those long cheerful doorbells). WE hear TINY FEET approach -.. and a "BLESS THIS MESS" welcome mat. peering up at him. He looks at for a moment.and sees LULU. ready for anything. machete.
The door opens revealing JULIE PLUMMER. Julie holds NAKED baby PETER, 2. She sees Shane, and stops, a little startled by his size... SHANE (salutes:) Lieutenant Shane Wolfe, reporting for duty. JULIE Of course. I'm so sorry. coming. Thank you for
She hugs him. He's not quite sure what to do -- he's a rock, he doesn't flinch. JULIE (CONT'D) Come in and meet the rest of the gang. INT. PLUMMER HOUSE/FOYER - DAY It's warm and quiet. stairsPetite Julie SCREAMS up the
Shane startles, covers his ears. JULIE (CONT'D) Get your butts down here and say "hello!" And then three pairs of feet come down the stairs. Lulu, ZOE, 15, and TODD, 14 line up like the perfect family portrait. Todd's hair hangs in his face. He wears a Sid Vicious shirt and a long trench coat. JULIE (CONT'D) You've already met Lulu. This is Peter, Zoe and Todd. Kids, this is Lieutenant Wolfe. He's the man who is going to be staying with us for a while. All the kids except for ToddKIDS Hi.
Shane nods, stern. On the stairs, a Romanian MAID walks by, carrying a BABY. JULIE And this is Helga and Tyler. Shane nods hello to them. SHANE (official:) Ma'am... Baby. JULIE Kids, go finish your homework. be checking. And I'll
Zoe, Lulu and Todd climb back up the stairs. Julie leads Shane into... INT. LIVING ROOM - DAY Julie sits, Shane stands "at ease" (which doesn't look "at ease" at all). SHANE You have a pleasant family, ma'am.
JULIE Charles wasn't around too much. His work took him all over the world. He'd be gone six or seven months at a time. So I think for the younger ones it's a little confusing. Zoe and Todd... well, they're dealing like your normal teenagers. Maybe in Todd's case semi-normal. SHANE Mrs. Plummer, I have to tell you that I did everything I could... JULIE Charles was in a dangerous business. I knew it when I married him. No one's to blame here. (beat) Everyone thinks that Charles told me or the kids where he hid it. And until G.H.O.S.T. is found, we're all in danger.
SHANE Nothing will happen to your family as long as I'm here. I've dealt with much... Suddenly from behind Shane's head a DUCK appears and NIBBLES his ear. Shane spins in full fight stance. He sees the Duck... and relaxes. Sort of. JULIE That's Gary. He was Charles'. The duck QUACKS angrily. Confused, Shane returns to "at ease," keeping one eye on the duck. Mrs. PlummerSHANE
JULIE Call me Julie. Beat. SHANE ... Mrs. Plummer, I'll go secure the perimeter. JULIE I'm glad you're here-
But Shane is already gone. C UT TO: MONTAGE. MILITARY MUSIC PLAYS: Shane secures the area. He paces off the yard.
He mounts surveillance cameras in the eaves. He attaches contact alarms in the doors and windows. Shane climbs a telephone pole, opens the circuit box and TAPS the phones. Shane, now wearing an EAR TRANSMITTER, crawls through the shrubs, hiding electric eyes.
14. Zoe listens to her I-Pod ignoring the Julie gives her.. Shane. it's Bill Fawcett. Julie casually answers it. Through the window. and reveal Shane with night vision goggles on scoping the property. Helga will .) A safety deposit box under Charles' name was just found in Switzerland. JULIE What is it? BILL (o. JULIE Don't worry about the Kids. entersJULIE I'll be there.Nighttime -. BILL (o. JULIE That's wonderful. I'm going to need you on a plane tomorrow morning. through the kitchen window.NIGHT Shane. I think it could contain GHOST. Julie and Shane share a look. This could all be over! BILL (o.) Julie. Helga and the Kids in the doorway. PLUMMER HOUSE/FOYER .) There's a catch. The phone RINGS inside.s. LIVING ROOM .MORNING stand hug Julie. I have some potentially good news.. INT.the family eats dinner. with her suitcase. INT. listening to the conversation.. Shane touches his ear transmitter and LISTENS as he walks into the house.s. Swiss law says only his family can access it.s.. We slowly pull out.
Julie gets in the car and it drives away. And on the phone. (Worried:) But if there is an emergency. it's my job to worry.. JULIE (CONT'D) Lieutenant.handle everything. I'm gonna miss you. SHANE A her HELGA (she frowns) Too bad. HELGA Everything will be fine.. do it. whatever Lieutenant Wolfe asks you to do. H S . it's just. Okay? ll the children nod in agreement except Zoe who pops chewing gum bubble. And on the back door. No. They'll be safe with me. JULIE (a little choked up:) I know. are you licensed to kill? . I am a mom.. I'll be back in 48 hours.. chill.. And guys. I love you guys.. Plummer. Shane turns back to the kids who loom in the doorway..we'll be fine. Mrs. SHANE Don't worry.. HELGA (CONT'D) Tell me... . all the emergency numbers are on the fridge. Helga will take care of everything else. I don't want you to worry about anything except the safety of my children. ZOE Mom -.
pouring in Cheerios.. 1 Helga trudges up the path and in. A diapered Peter stands in the half full AQUARIUM. Shane heads down the hall. Shane shakes his head. INT..5. You do something... Shane scowls at Helga: SHANE (CONT'D) You run a very loose ship. He shuts off the - . can't find him.and finds Lulu screaming and giggling in front of a VIDEO GAME. Where's the baby? Without looking Lulu points. The sound of MACHINE GUN FIRING.s. S SHANE (CONT'D) HeyTodd disappears.WHRRP! Shane ducks. looks around for the CRYING BABY....NIGHT hane rushes in -.) Prepare to be annihilated! Lulu SCREAMS. Immediately..he sees A FIGURE SCURRY ACROSS THE BACK LAWN. SHANE (CONT'D) . SHANE Could you turn that dowAnd Shane spies half of Todd's face peeking around a corner staring at him. Gary suddenly FLIES by . HOUSE/FAMILY ROOM . when in the corner of his eye -. Shane leaps off the ladder and bounds down the stairs two at a time and into the. HELGA You don't like it? You're the SEAL. INT. Shane turns off the light. screws in a surveillance camera into the corner of a wall when he hears: MALE VOICE (o. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY . WAAAAA!! WAAAAA!! Shane spins. elga stomps out. on a short ladder.NIGHT Shane. I make bottle. Helga enters holding the wailing Tyler.
I'll call you. Shane yanks off the DARK FIGURE's hood.window alarm and sneaks out silently.BACK YARD . Zoe -. ZOE Okay. PLUMMER HOUSE .. but alright.. SHANE So you're the one who broke in. SHARPER IMAGE night vision goggles. SHANE Not with this kid. They both tumble to the ground... Shane runs. S COTT . runs off. calling out from across the street. He flies in the air and latches onto the figure.CONTINUOUS The yard is littered with toys. ZOE He's my boyfriend. come on Scott. He's dazed. EXT. house like a marionette. (to Todd:) You -Gimme twenty! Freaked. Shane LIFTING him in the air. SHANE (CONT'D) I meant PUSH-UPS! Befuddled. spinning him away from the do lame push-ups. Shane grabs Scott by the scruff of the neck. fine. Zoe? SCOTT wearing Zoe runs out the door.. Scott fumbles for his wallet and gives Shane a twenty dollar BILL.. He spots the Figure climbing the TRELLIS. . revealing SCOTT (16) a nervous teenager. 16. setting off the PIERCING ALARM. Scott starts to grabs Scott the back of Scott's shirt.go back inside. Zoe! . jumps onto the trampoline. tool. In the middle is a TRAMPOLINE.
Look. IN PERFECT KOREAN with subtitles: S S 17 . Oh. pop their heads out.. huh baby-sitter? Mr. Shane addresses them. and snaps a shot of the Chun's car in their driveway. no accent) We speak English. and we found this in our pool filter. Oh.. about the 2000 decibel alarm and the kleig lights and stuff. THE CHUNS. SHANE My apologies. so we're up kind of early. PLUMMER HOUSE .. Try to keep that zoo reigned in. The window of the house next door opens: a Korean couple. fuming. CHUN (perfect English. A simple misunderstanding.NIGHT . MR.. We had an intruder. CHUN . SHANE MRS. CHUN Thanks a bunch. Sorry.Zoe storms inside. Shane pulls a remote control from his pocket and clicks it. MR. Would you mind? SHANE Sorry.. Shane stands there. They're arguing with each other in Korean. The Alarm's still blaring.. Kojak. Shane's about to head inside. we own a bakery. Chun tosses him the TROLL DOLL and slam their window shut. The alarm stops. I INT. he pulls a tiny camera phone from his pocket.
ZOE Who do you think you are -. lower than the floor. She has to hop on one foot. where Helga is singing a lullaby: (as annoying Has something Barney might ELGA When you're down and low. angry rock music blares from Todd's room.) sing). bangs on Todd's doorLights out.my dad? Zoe starts to turn -. He "hops" her down the hall to her room. . SHANE Not anymore. to not fall over. Don't make a move `til you're in the SHANE (CONT'D) TODD (o. Shane shuts her door.then suddenly spins and tries kicking him in the CROTCH. ZOE (CONT'D) Let me go! It's Saturday night. Shane marches back down the hall. SHANE Your mother thought you were in real danger. S W 1 8. Zoe falls backwards into the room. But Shane catches her foot -and whirls her away. Bite me! Shane frowns. He passes the NURSERY (Peter and Tyler's room). You should have told her the truth. Loud. plans! I have Zoe's back to her door. continues down the hall.hane marches Zoe up the stairs.s. And you feel like you ain't got a chance. Shane flips her foot in the air.
laugh and laugh. then "crab-walks" sideways. In the bedrooms. T Z Z T 19. HELGA (CONT'D) Then quick like a turtle lie on your back! riggle like a snake `til you can't no more. HELGA (CONT'D) Sidestep twice. Then jumps up. to their beds. The Children. . HOUSE . Three steps forward. INT. one step back. warm orange light. Just hop three times like a kangaroo -She does a little "dance" that goes with the lullaby: She hops forwards three times. a SERIES OF SHOTS: L Tyler snores in his crib. Peter in his bed. he wriggles on the floor. PLUMMER HOUSE .groove. and do the Peter Panda Dance. in bed -. Shane shakes his head. keeps walkingSHANE This family's in for a rude awakening. just like the crabs do. EXT.SAME TIME Everyone is asleep.DAWN The sun rises over the neighborhood. She does. ulu is surrounded by stuffed animals.
Suddenly his door flies open -. Move. TODD'S ROOM . INT. The Whistle GETS LOUDER.and Shane strides in with a BOOM BOX.m. OE Huh? Wha--?! INT. S . half-asleep and angry.CONTINUOUS All the little kids are CRYING. You're insane. Covering their ears. HALLWAY . carrying the crying baby.. Until A TRUMPET BLARES "REVEILLE"! Zoe jumps. TODD W-what are you doing??! SHANE You're burning daylight. SHANE Now move it! Todd scrambles to his feet and out the door. Todd blinks groggily. Todd pulls the blanket over his head.MORNING Todd sits up.! (he squints at a clock) And it's six a. Shane flips the mattress over spilling Todd to the floor. not understanding what's happening. oe is wrapped in blankets. disoriented.. motionless. L Move. like she's been electrocuted. Helga runs through in hair curlers.odd is out cold. HELGA (She curses in Romanian) SHANE Hey. Not in front of the kids. 20 . ODD It's Sunday.
LATER The children are assembled. lined up tallest to shortest. INT.. sucking on a bottle.. KITCHEN .do you. LULU ("copying" him) I said -. What? SHANE Do not copy me! ULU Make up your mind. Do you copy? Do you copy? What? LULU SHANE I said -. shocked.do you. HELGA What's it matter? Nobody speaks Romanian. ladies. . in Romanian. I've only got one rule: Everything is done my way. Shane firmly starts his Patton speech: SHANE Listen up. In order to maintain a state of safety we need to maintain a state of discipline and order..he gives him a look of disbelief.. HELGA (She curses Again. No highway option. Your behavior is unacceptable. At the end on the floor is Baby Tyler.) Shane's jaw drops. L 21. SHANE Usca mi-as chilotii pe crucea lu mata! Helga narrows her eyes.
.SAME TIME S hane marches to Todd's shut door. SECURITY BRACELETS with a red light and a covered He straps one to each Kid's wrist. S ULU (CONT'D) . It's broken by the sound of a large AIR BUBBLE from the aquarium. Just because my mom's paranoid doesn't mean we have to take orders from you. He reaches into his bag and unpacks a set of small hightech button. INT. Now that I know I can't trust you. but it's locked. HELGA (mysterious) He walks like Dracula. Red baby. with footsteps silent like death -Shane looks to Zoe for translation.(pointing) Red 1. Never take them off. Red Leader. Everyone cracks up.Shane starts to speak then thinks better. I tell you what to do -. UPSTAIRS HALLWAY .you better be dying. He yells at her. wait. So you are -. Shane tries to maintain decorum. Angry. The panic button is only for emergencies. P eter farted. where's the older male? There were five. he's furious. Red 2.. He tries the knob. ZOE He's in his room. SHANE Tracking devices.a tense silence. Marine sergeant style: SHANE Let me explain how the chain of command works. Now I'm not gonna have time to learn your names. ZOE I am not wearing that. or you're dead. Touch that -..and you do it. End of chain. Everyone stares blankly -. Shane bounds up the stairs.. Shane bangs hard on it.
PLUMMER HOUSE . Down the hall -. A piece of the ceiling falls. Oops. the destroyed door and wall. He sees Shane. and Todd comes sauntering back.they glare at Shane.NIGHT The bathroom door opens. this wouldn't have happened. If you'd been wearing it.LATER ZOE . INT. hits Shane on the head. Shane SNAPS it onto Todd's wrist. Zoe comes up the stairs. Shane steps aside. Can I get by? TODD Embarrassed. The entire frame collapses. then CRASHES inward. TODD'S ROOM hane charges inSHANE It didn't have to go down likeTodd isn't there. patrolling. to her room.... and head down the hall.SMASH! The wood CRACKS.a FLUSH. Shane turns away from the door and DONKEY KICKS it. Todd nods in agreement. Red 4! SHANE Open this door! No answer. INT. I can fix this..MORNING .22. HALLWAY . then muttersSHANE Here's your bracelet. SHANE All I need is a hammer and some plaster of Paris. She stops at Todd's door -. INT. He has to go.
) SORRY DUDE! Shane rubs his nose.the MORNING PAPER connects with his face. Lulu SHANE Hey. LULU This house is haunted. With his other hand he loads the PHOTO of the Chun's license plate into his laptop computer.the rumble of a car approaching. just as -. good soldiers aren't afraid of anything. Peter! screams. From off-screen we hear a PAPERBOY. Shane turns. to see that Peter is chasing her.LATER . And then it hits Shane. His head shifts. He rushes for the front door. wearing a towel as a sheet. PAPERBOY (O. L S 23. he hears something suspicious -. He said there's a ghost. Lulu screams at the top of her lungs. Lulu hides behind Shane. HALLWAY . Whhhoooooo! PETER and LULU Stop it. Peter Booos again. Daddy even said so. clicks his alarm remote opens it. hard.WHACK -.S hane does one-handed push ups in the living room while the Duck watches. INT.S. hey. I don't know. Really? His eyes light up. SHANE And where is this ghost? ULU I've never seen it. He pretends to be a ghost.
Then -. STAIRWAY .. scanning the ceiling. ZOE Here he comes. As he walks he glides his hands along the wall. Shane lifts his left foot out to take a step down. Shane scans it. Todd and Zoe's faces fall. carrying a huge laundry basket. BAM! Helga HITS the bottom with a mighty crash. Searching. They surreptitiously pour COOKING OIL all over the wood.ZOE AND TODD . T IGHT . feeling. She screams. He RAPS again.SAME TIME Todd and Zoe kneel on the stairs.. inally.. Nothing.. Zoe whispers. MR. He goes back to the living room. When he hears an alert from his laptop. I INT. as laundry flutters down from above. takes a step onto the stairs -HELGA AHHH!!! BUMP! BUMP! BUMP! She flies down the greased stairs..Shane walks slowly down the hall. all the way down. pushing. Chun's photo appears next to a VEHICLE REGISTRATION. The footsteps againTODD He's coming backBut Helga. appears. listening for hollow spaces. BANGING her head and ass on each step. then turns his attention to his laptop.. F .! Zoe and Todd run downstairs and hide behind the couch.a creak. 24 Shane strides to the top step and RAPS on the wall.
we're going to have to file a complaint. The Banker puts up a finger to "shush" him. mouthing along in FRENCH. BILL (CONT'D) This is absurd. Then looks back to the paperwork.They gulp. He jumps to his feet. They wait patiently -. JULIE Can't you call somebody? Do something to get us around all this paperwork? BILL Sorry.DAY Bill and Julie. ZOE Uh-oh. then licks his finger to turn the page. looking jet-lagged.til their patience runs BILL As we discussed. He fills a paper cup with water and shuffles back to his desk. If we can't get some faster service. He's reading a HUGE stack of paperwork with a magnifying glass. He seems to be about 100 years old. He licks his finger again. Not in Switzerland.DAY Establishing. INT. sit across a desk from a SWISS BANKER. He feebly gets up. I can't. this is an urgent matter. BANKER Marcel! out. He dips his finger in the water to turn the page. terrified. It's taking him a LONG time. . and shuffles across the room to a WATER COOLER. SWISS BANK . SWISS BANK . The Banker looks at him blankly. Bill can't stand it anymore. but can't get the page to turn. EXT. 25.
RING! Amid the chaos. QUACKING. MARCEL (to Bill and Julie:) I'm so sorry.you will have access to the box tout-suite. Helga takes the opening and runs for the door. PLUMMER HOUSE .Another Banker. grabbing her foot. Peter's in the aquarium. As soon as your background checks clear. Shane moves for the phone. AGGH! HELGA These brats! Sugi Pula! SHANE Red Leader. the chief does not speak English. JULIE Thank you. enters. I QUIT.Shane tries to block her path. and Helga dashes for the door. Suddenly. As she tries to wrestle it away. The duck flies around. MARCEL BANKER Je ne comprende pas.SAME TIME Helga. that makes me calm! SHANE Let's not be hasty. The suitcase handle breaks off. HELGA I am calm. SHANE (CONT'D) . remain calm -- 26. SHANE (CONT'D) Hello--(sees Helga crawling away) Don't even think about it. Shane dives. heads to the door -. Oui. But I can tell you -. How long is that? INT. suitcases in hand. Shane picks up the receiver. MARCEL. He grabs her suitcase. He DRAGS her back.
You're gonna be gone how much longer? here's a pause. CRUNCH. Helga struggles to get him off.CONTINUOUS Shane chases Helga to the cab. SHANE (CONT'D) Ah! Things are GREAT!!! You do what you have to do. Helga scampers out the door. Mrs..Helga falls forwards. Shane hangs up the phone. SHANE (CONT'D) Helga's at the door. Plummer. that landed on a diaper. Just doing my. SHANE (CONT'D) Take care. Duty.. He picks up his hand. as Helga makes a dash down the path to a waiting cab.everything's fine. 27. Helga chomps down on Shane's hand. Shane lets go. Mrs. EXT. SHANE (CONT'D) That is not a problem. against the counter. Plummer.Ah. the camera DOLLY/ZOOMS as he says it: SHANE (CONT'D) Five business days? elga's shoe comes off -.. HOUSE . and Shane falls back.. so Julie can't hear the struggle) No no -. SHANE Red Leader! I command you to come back! That is a direct order! You can't leave a man behind!! . Shane body-checks it closed. (covering the phone.
. In the meantime. SHANE (CONT'D) (SCREAMING) I don't know the Peter Panda song!! As the cab pulls away. . to find the kids are all gloomy. ACROSS THE STREET The Korean couple is staring at him. INT. Helga glares back. KOREAN WOMAN Don't worry.SHANE Rises. Shane awkwardly picks the baby up. then does an obscene Romanian hand gesture. dumbfounded. defeated.SHANE His jaw drops in disbelief. takes a deep breath and strides inside. ANGLE . listen up.. SHANE Okay. He drops his head. LULU (worried) When is she coming back? SHANE Soon. Then -.he slowly glances up. we're just gonna have some more big fun. she'll come back. There's been a change of plans. ANGLE . HOUSE . Your mom's not coming back as soon as she thought. TODD That's what we've been doing? LULU But tomorrow's a school day.Helga jumps in the cab. if she loves you..CONTINUOUS Shane enters. baby cries. in the rear window. The 28..
Until -.ZOE I need a signed release for Driver's Ed! LULU I've got Brownies! Shane reacts.. repelled. INT. he cautiously unfastens the diaper. SHANE Whoa. your enthusiasm. nice moment. then pulls out PLIERS and a SCREWDRIVER.it flops open. Pure self-preservation. SShane GROANS. He lowers Tyler onto a changing pad. BATHROOM . hane quickly moves the Baby away from his body. CLOSE-UP . holding out the Baby at full arm's length. WHOA! HALT! We'll take this hill one inch at a time.SHANE He gulps. Only then can we rise to the challenge.FWRPPPP! But I appreciate SHANE (CONT'D) Tell me that was the duck? FWRPPP! WE zoom in on the baby's leering face. SHANE (CONT'D) Hey. everyone bolts from the room. All for one.. And then -. 29.MOMENTS LATER Shane enters. Nobody will help. holding his nose. inundated. Using the tools as chopsticks. HEY! Even Peter runs. . takes a deep breath. I'm Navy. and one for all! LULU (singing) "Be all that you can be!" SHANE That's Army.
) Thank you. he looks down to see Lulu. he looks around for a solution. it starts making Shane uncomfortable. I think you're cute. A hand tugs on Shane's shirt. LULU Do you know Kung Fu? Affirmative. Lulu is in her pj's. like a puppy. She follows. LULU (CONT'D) What's that medal for? SHANE None of your business. making sure all the doors and windows are locked. Zoe thinks you look like the Hulk. Shane is again twirling the MEDAL in his fingers. LULU Hi. INT.SHANE The things I do for my country. over and over and over.. she just stares at him. Lulu follows at his heels.he can't do it. 30. SHANE (unsure how to respond. Aghast. . then FLUSHES. SHANE LULU Did you ever punch someone so hard that their head came off? hane walks away from Lulu..NIGHT Shane patrols the hall. LULU I'll trade you a SpongeBob button for it. Shane tries approaching -. Then: Shane picks up the Baby and dips the bottom half in the toilet. HALLWAY . Lulu doesn't go away.
in beddibye land. Lulu looks at him. SHANE (CONT'D) Don't worry. The Kids stare at "breakfast.Shane walks room to room. The kids sit down at their designated spots. And I've survived off this stuff for months." dubious. and tries to sound sweet: SHANE I think -. . Lulu and Zoe all tear open their bags. like he's an idiot. SHANE What are you waiting for? Dig in. LULU Do I look like I'm five to you? Lulu sulks off to bed. On the table in front of each place is a tan BAG. INT. Shane smiles. and patrols. Todd pulls out a bag of CORN BEEF HASH and a Snickers bar.it's time for you take a nappypoo. and shuts off her light. All the lights are out. pulling down the shades on every window.MORNING The Kids are dressed for school. Shane breathes a sigh of relief. Lulu takes out a bag of turkey slices and a coffee packet. all the kids asleep. Zoe pulls out a bag of FETTUCCINE ALFREDO and some matches. KITCHEN . I can get lots more of those. proud of his accomplishment. LULU (CONT'D) Is that so people can't hurt us? He bends down to her level. Todd. 31. little girl.BREAKFAST . confused by the MRE's (MEALS READY TO EAT) in front of them.
Shane answers... So -. We're gonna pull together. I can cross my eyes. (then:) Yes. too. Wanna see? Negative.. Peter starts bawling. I don't have any idea what you're talking about. Lulu asks Shane: LULU Can you kill a man with your bare hands? SHANE You play too many video games. crying. .. all for one.. LULU Tyler hates it when I do that. ladies. PETER Ba ba do the hokie pokey. He runs away. And the phone rings. if I say out.here's how it's gonna be. LULU . dancing... Peter stands in his chair. one for all.. then at Tyler -. If I say in.. you stay in.. Shane sighs. Your mama -. SHANE Lulu crosses her eyes at Shane. SHANE I did not say at ease! Peter's eyes fill with tears. ZOE He's only two. The table cloth is yanked to the floor... you go out.ZOE Like I'm really gonna eat all those carbs. Shane turns to address them: SHANE Okay.who SCREAMS at the top of his lungs. he doesn't have any idea what you're talking about. Shane turns to Lulu.is not here to take care of you now. trying to hear over the screaming.
The Minivan skids completely sideways. into a TINY parking spot -. EXT. I know it's Monday. Shane TIES the buckles in a fancy knot. It just doesn't add up. wearing Tyler in a SNUGGLE.MOMENTS LATER CLOSE UP ON: a stopwatch. Across his chest. perfect parallel park. STUDENTS of all ages are hurrying inside.. he's got a bandoleer of baby-bottles and juice boxes.h. Thank you. He wants to see you in his office. With your . 32 SHANE Plummer residence. It does a skidding 180 and heads down the street. Zoe smiles at him. GARAGE . EXT. sir.. A bumper sticker declares "World's Greatest Mom. Oh. you and Todd are expelled. He hangs up. innocently. and at that .9:29 A.. Its interlocking buckle connects FOUR WAYS. INT.MOMENTS LATER He's The garage door opens. EAST BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL .. SHANE Not on my watch. backwards at sixty m. A big suburban school. It hits ZERO.MOMENTS LATER The car speeds out of the drive. Shane fumbles with it for a while. ZOE Who was that? SHANE Your vice principal. He said if you're late again.. GARAGE . dramatically unveiling Shane.M. legal guardian. Shane can't hide his contempt as he sees: Julie's WHITE MINIVAN. Busses and PARENTS are parked at the curb." Shane puts Tyler in a CAR SEAT. INT..a death defying.. LULU We're gonna be late. yes.. PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE .p.
OMAN'S VOICE Your school? Murney grimaces as PRINCIPAL CLAIRE NELSON (early 30's) enters. as he plays on the floor. Duane. the SCHOOL'S BELL RINGS. He glares at Shane. Murney is unimpressed.P in charge of discipline. MURNEY (CONT'D) She's missed twenty-two Driver's Ed classes. too. Lieutenant. MURNEY aby-sitter huh. Well. Out of twenty-three. You're in my house now. Holding the stopwatch is the VICE PRINCIPAL MURNEY (50's). a few days. Shane. and the Kids: Shane sits with Tyler in a Snuggle. She's attractive.. tough. Top to bottom. The Kids crack up. boy. they needed a parole officer. son? SHANE Wolfe. Murney is furious. I coach wrestling. He's HUGE and mean. They're the worst students in my school. conduct and truancy.moment. assured. He withers. I'm Murphy. Plummer finally listened. mortified. 33 MURNEY I always said these kids didn't need a baby sitter. MURNEY (CONT'D) (To Shane) What's your name. whatever work you can get. Looks like Mrs. (re: Todd:) And the creeper here played hookey from every wrestling practice this month. I'm in charge of watching these kids for. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE . . The Kids are seated around him.. K thru 12. holding Peter on a harness. V.
and suddenly reacts. Mrs..two little red DOTS move away. The opens the door for Murney. SHANE Red 1. confidential:) My informant's about to crack. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Very little. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE So. Plummer called my captain. Get moving.Good morning kids.. You see. Red 2. What are you doing in my office. impressed. I thought I asked you to find out who stuck to the baloney slices to the cafeteria ceiling with mustard? MURNEY I'm got some leads. Principal Claire eyeballs him. Lieutenant. Claire sees this -. she thought the kids needed PRINCIPAL CLAIRE It's okay. She told me all about you. fuming. I am in charge of.. that as vice principal.. You're the new baby-sitter? SHANE Bodyguard. Good. He exits. (then. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT'D) Lieutenant. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Then hop to it. staring him up and down. 34. The teens hustle off to their classes. as he casually holds the three kids.. BELL rings. I was briefed of the situation by Mrs. I think I can handle this from here. Murney? MURNEY I was explaining. Plummer. huh? You with "The Teams?" The . Shane checks his TRACKER -. She notices NAVY SEAL tattoo on his upper arm.
SHANE Can't be too careful. to balance Shane.) Petty Officer Third Class Claire Nelson at your service. SHANE . Permission to stick around and keep eyes on the kids? She smiles.. Just try not to frighten the children. Claire looks nervously around. SHANE No one will even notice I'm here. Welcome aboard. On the spot.. She lifts her pants leg. Shane stares not sure whether to believe.. That's the way I live my life. Service paid for my college. Courage. Shane types on his laptop: CLAIRE NELSON. A picture of Claire in a Naval uniform pops up as well as her stats.. JUMP CUT TO: EXT. SHANE "Honor. SHANE ... PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Permission granted. Peter rides on the other side with a group of KIDS. So. You're kidding? PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Four years at Naval base Coronado. revealing a tiny ANCHOR TATTOO on her ankle. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Commitment".. and the way I run my school. dead serious..(Shane nods. EAST BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL . (Tyler in Snuggle) is riding the saw in the school's playground.MID-MORNING seeShane. The 35.
SHANE (CONT'D) Open in T minus three. Shane closes the computer. BINOCULARS P.LUNCH TIME BINOCULARS P. Beside Shane.. He checks his tracking device. Save us both a world of pain. 36 . . as Shane goes from window to window of from the school: Zoe is glaring at him through the window her seat in a class. Peter is running in circles around him on his harness. does the same. picks up a pair of binoculars. two. Lulu sees Shane and waves. delighted.O. one. SHANE Give up now. Peter is destroying a sandwich with animal crackers. Zoe. Now -. Black Hawk coming in.last time: Open the hanger.. Official Business.V. with a group of HIP FRIENDS. yanks his hood over his head. sitting in the back row of a class. with stern intensity. in Shane puts down his binoculars.O.: Five hundred students eat at long tables.Clean as a whistle. in his safety seat -trying to get him to eat. Todd. CAFETERIA . like a tether ball.V. Along line of FIRST GRADERS wait for the seesaw. He turns to the person front of him. Lulu waves from 2nd Grade. Todd. SHANE (CONT'D) Back off.. turns her back to him embarrassed. Reveal: Shane is talking to Tyler. ON THE PLAYGROUND: Shane stands with his Baby snuggle. in line to get lunch. INT..
man. SHANE PRINCIPAL CLAIRE So. Principal Claire smiles. Oh. Shane sighs. A whole day. Can I call you Shane? . I'm impressed. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Not here. (she looks at his chair) Well. You're on dry land. I guess.I out rank you. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Don't take this personally -. . I bet you didn't know you'd be serving creamed bananas to one year olds.. you know. (she toasts. Claire smiles. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE What would you say is the secret with kids. huh? Shane gives her a look. not so dry where you're sitting. lieutenant.) Shane.. Tyler laughs. Mr. When you agreed to serve your country.but you're pretty good at this.. Principal Claire sits next to Shane with her lunch tray. ignoring him. and all three Plummer's stayed out of trouble. He yanks Tyler away from him. Wolfe? SHANE Show no weakness. by SHANE Tyler starts to cry -. RINCIPAL CLAIRE I'll drink to that. Seriously. Sure. you don't.Tyler gurgles.but Shane stops him from crying making a funny face. with milk. SHANE Hey -... 37.. Shane sees that Tyler is pouring his juice Box all over Shane's pants.
I don't care who starts it. MURNEY The kid's mixed up. and gives her a "I'll handle it" wink. Personally . MURNEY You heard the lady. cheering. Zoe.CONTINUOUS Students are in a ring.. but not stopping it. As soon as they see the Principal.That's. Todd slips out of their hold and decks the Wrestler. in the crowd. INT. Then vice principal Murney steps forward.. unusual. Murney smirks. Todd! Shane and Claire push through the Students. (Todd) 38. Any more fighting and there'll be no more wrestling. MURNEY He did.. the crowd freezes. LUNCH-LINE . Shane hands Tyler off to the Principal and leaps over the table. RINCIPAL CLAIRE Who started this? Silence. and the sound of Students in an uproar. VP Murney is watching. Look at him. Suddenly there's a huge crash around the corner. One reaches down and gives Todd a "wedgy" then another WRESTLER punches him. and "punches fists" with him.. impressed. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE If I catch anyone on the team fighting again. as four STUDENTS in Wrestling Jackets hold Todd. cheers Todd on: ZOE Kick his butt. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Todd started a fight with five students at once? Shane turns to Todd. next week's tournament is off.
I forgot you had to baby-sit. Shane puts an arm over Todd's shoulder. SHANE . man. SHANE . to Todd:) `Scept for Plummer here. Don't even think it.. Boys'll be boys. what do you say? Come on. No one is more Ssurprised than Todd and Shane. . The Bell rings.. He'd kill you so fast. Nice moves. MURNEY Pretty slick. the crowd breaks up. yeah. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE .I'm a black belt myself.I think that's a little harsh.. flinch. MURNEY Oh. Shane doesn't MURNEY (CONT'D) See -. S'why they asked me to coach the wrestling team.total control. stopping an inch from Shane's head. Maybe you could stop by practice. Sorry. Murney makes a loud Kung Fu CRY and throws a punch. we'd show the boys how a couple of pros do it.. Frogman -. I'm on duty. sticking the landing. Shane effortlessly grabs Todd and Judo FLIPS HIM -. Murney approaches Shane. sir. Todd shakes him off and heads to class. promise I'll go easy on you. Murney. Todd lunges at him. That's right. Murney snickers to Claire: MURNEY (CONT'D) Looks like pretty boy there's all bark and no bite. I wouldn't even have time to get my camera. Maybe some other time then. (low...Todd lands on his feet. 39 .
an alarm in his Jacket GOES OFF. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Another day. and not cry. minus taxes. doing a shoulder roll.Tyler's diaper is full. for one who'll eat. following his tracking device. holding Tyler out like a grenade..CONTINUOUS Shane runs down the hall. Peter is asleep in his shoulder. Tyler is crying. 2ND GRADE HALLWAY . aren't you gonna change him? SHANE I'd love to. Emergency! SHANE INT. as he keeps watch.. The Principal strolls up.. Bathroom's down the hall.. Then Shane smells what she means -. SHANE Oh -.2:55 Shane looks exhausted. Just then. SCHOOL HALLWAY . 2ND GRADE CLASSROOM . Not my job. Have fun. Shane hands off Peter and Tyler to the Principal. 40.CONTINUOUS . Lt. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE That's not what I mean. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Sirnosir. he pushes Tyler towards the Principal.. another dollar twenty..INT. Panicked. But. Roger that. Shane recoils in disgust.change him. He looks at his tracker: it's flashing RED 3 RED 3. SHANE PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Instructions are right on the box. INT. Uh. He bursts though it. It leads him to a door.
The board reads: SHOW AND TELL.a PLYWOOD WALL surrounds the site. Shane makes a right. racing down the road ahead of Shane. BUSY INTERSECTION . HALLWAY . He speeds away after them. Lulu sticks her tongue out at him. EXT. He looks at the tracker: and Todd are dead ahead.Shane KICKS out one entire Zoe . 41. I INT.CONTINUOUS Shane runs with Lulu through the mob of Kids. his Tracker Alarm sounds again. He leaps out of the minivan. are heading away from the school fast. with the Panic Button in her hand. Thanks.MOMENTS LATER He turns a corner -. Lulu is in front of the class. Next to Lulu is a very upstaged LITTLE BOY with a FROG. EAST BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL . He hands her to the Principal. He blasts through a red light. through the fence. CONSTRUCTION SITE .2ND GRADERS are sitting on the floor. IN FRONT OF A CONSTRUCTION SITE . At that moment.the Class applauds.CONTINUOUS Two BIG CONSTRUCTION workers are standing on the other side of the plywood wall -. They make a sharp right. Shane lands in fight stance -. LULU See! My nanny can kick your nanny's butt. EXT. The DOTS on the tracker are headed North. He looks: CLOSE-UP ON THE TRACKER SCREEN: Two DOTS labeled RED 1 and RED 2. Shane is furious. almost tipping the minivan. EXT.CONTINUOUS Shane dives into the Minivan.MOMENTS LATER The BLINKING DOTS on his tracker are side by side. SHANE EXT. but the FINAL BELL rings.
He comes up for air with ZOE and TODD'S HOMING BEACONS. SHANE Tell me where the kids are and I'll let you all live! CONSTRUCTION WORKER Buddy. He's almost there! He splashes around a corner -. Todd and Zoe's BEEPS are coming from a MANHOLE. you're about to get a beat down. IN THE MANHOLE . He winces.LATER Principal Claire sits with the Kids in the living room. and the sound of OMINOUS. SQUISHY footsteps. and charges through. . Three Workers rush him. they hear the front door open.SAME TIME Shane lands shoulder deep in DISGUSTING SLUDGE. Shane easily takes them out. Shane lowers himself down. to see several CONSTRUCTION WORKERS.he sees the blinking lights below the surface.the DOTS are CLOSE. then checks the tracker -. INT. He takes a deep breath and dives under.section.then RUN. The remaining Workers give Shane a scared look -. CONSTRUCTION WORKER What hell do you think you're doing? He turns around. feet away. Shane pries off the manhole cover. PLUMMER HOUSE .It's dark and dank. The DOTS BEEP LOUDER. Red 1? SHANE Red 2? He looks down. then checks his tracker.LIVING ROOM . Shane trudges through the river of muck. From outside. all brandishing tools.then gasps -.SHANE He's alone. INT. He catches his breath. It's horrific. A note is tied to them: "Ha! Ha!" 42. SEWER . No sweat. ANGLE .
KITCHEN . 43 INT. then covers their noses. . Call.DAY Shane BURNS his clothes in the barbecue. CUTE COP (CONT'D) In the future. revealing Shane. He pours an entire bottle of SHAMPOO over himself. Zoe fixes her hair. Ditto. with a smirk.. BACK YARD . The Cop turns to Shane. Peter rocks in a cradle-swing.. She practically GAGS as she passes him. If you need anymore help. ..p. Covering her nose. The Cop leaves. A CUTE YOUNG COP enters behind Shane. CLAIRE Shane are you okay? SHANE (eerily calm:) Just fine. looking like a Swamp Creature. use our nonemergency number. The smell is BAD. thank you. weird hair. CUTE COP 14 year old Male. Todd stiffens. Zoe checks him out as he goes. (into his radio:) Cancel that a.LATER Shane is in the shower. Shane looks around at Scott and Zoe. INT. The Cop looks at them.LATER Tyler is in a high-chair. INT.b. Everyone gasps. CLAIRE I should probably get going then. That's the one to call if nobody's fleein' or bleedin'..Then the door swings open. but with his hand he makes a "my eyes on you" gesture. he doesn't say anything. BATHROOM .. 16 year old female.
and whistle. LULU (CONT'D) Tonight we're supposed to sell cookies. He looks at it.. Mom's our den mother.a dozen little girls in uniforms. INT. Lulu starts to sniffle. They won't be home `til ten. 4. If we don't sell enough cookies. cringing in disgust. LULU We have to. it's Monday.) Get rid of them. we can't go the Jamboree. Helga'S SHOPPING LIST -. FAMILY ROOM .CONTINUOUS SHANE Who are those people? LULU It's my troop.. SHANE (O. in just a towel. And it's not like I have any other friends. pulling Lulu after him. 4 . They already think I'm a loser. He sees on the fridge. SHANE Selling cookies isn't imperative to my mission. close to tears. they're staring at him. The Brownies applaud. cause mom never lets me out of her sight.Shane enters. (whispers:) Come on. Shane. and if we can't go to the Jamboree. LULU I can't. BROWNIE oo hoo! Hubba hubba! Shane covers up and leaps into the Family Room. Monday. Everybody's parents go out on troop nights. You gotta help me out. before he notices: Sitting around the table are Lulu's entire BROWNIE TROOP .all junk food. Wednesday and Saturday are troop nights.S.
INT.. yeah.A LITTLE LATE The Brownies are in the living room.. Shane sighs. I'm scared of you. Here's how it's gonna be. He's not just locking them -.he's SCREWING THEM SHUT WITH DRYWALL SCREWS.Lulu's about to burst into tears. DO WE UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER? The Brownies stare art him in stunned silence.wait here. ZOE This is totally cruel and unusual! You can't do this -. ladies.we could run out of air! Shane lifts her window so it's open a HALF INCH. revving a cordless POWER DRILL. Zoe's on the phone. ZOE .MOMENTS LATER Shane.. then drills it into place. Shane blows passed her. INT. the other to his back. unpacking boxes of cookies. SHANE Alright. They are assembled. BROWNIE Den Mother? ... do as I say. then loads Peter and Tyler into TWO SNUGGLES -one attached to his front. Tonight. Indian Style. LIVING ROOM ." paces in front of the Brownie Troop. SHANE Good. ZOE'S BEDROOM . getting ready to go. Shane closes the front door and attaches a "Club" lock to it. That means if you want to live to see tomorrow.MOMENTS LATER Shane's finishing up the last window. I think mom found him from one of those Tough Love boot camps or something. . at attention. KITCHEN . Now -. back in "uniform. Shane ushers the Troop out the door.. I'm gonna be your den -commander. INT. VARIOUS SHOTS: As Shane uses the drill to seal every window and door. he's a total psycho.
... GROCERY STORE . he's got us on lock-down.. EXT. as he pushes a cart into the store. it's like Oz or something. not munchkin Oz -HBO Oz. NOTHING looks familiar -."what are you. GROCERY STORE . No. ZOE'S WINDOW: Inside. colorful boxes of Children's Cereals.CONTINUOUS The Brownies are trying to sell the cookies.5. EXT. hits speed-dial. ZOE . As the minivan pulls out of the driveway. Rainbow Fruit Roll-Ups. but they're .. Zoe picks up the phone. Tyler looks at him -.AFTERNOON Shane pulls the minivan into the crowded parking lot -the Brownies are all singing 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall at the top of their lungs. DRIVEWAY .MOMENTS LATER Shane Loads the brownies and toddlers into the minivan. Snack packs.PARKING LOT . GROCERY STORE .. He smiles. He looks around at the bright. the camera CRANES up to. I can see you through the window.. He sees: a huge. I dunno if that's a good idea. SHANE I gotta get supplies. (she listens:) Hm.nothing even looks like food. GROCERY STORE ..MOMENTS LATER Shane (double-Snuggled) helps the Brownies set up a card table to display their cookies.MOMENTS LATER Shane watches the Brownies on the store's CLOSED CIRCUIT monitor. nuts?" EXT.. INT. 100 pack VALUE CASE of SPAM. Scott. LULU (flashing her bracelet) I know.. 4 EXT. but if anything happens..
you Skeever? . what's stinky and floats `til you flush `em? Brownies? 2ND SCOUT The Scouts cackle. SLOW MOTION: In a shot out of Reservoir Dogs.she tugs and tugs. menacingly. He rips it open... the Cub Scout takes her SCARF. 46 BROWNIE Oh no. but can't get away. They're headed straight towards the cookie table. GROCERY STORE .noticing very shy.but Lulu and the Brownies are gone. EXT.. clutching their boxes. Finally. The Cub Scouts high-five.MOMENTS LATER Shane heads to the Brownie's table -. He laughs. of the Scouts grabs Lulu -.. chubby CUB SCOUTS. SHOPPERS blow passed them without even them. UGLY CUB SCOUT (to another Scout) Hey Skeever. The Ugly Scout yanks a box of cookies away from Lulu. they're back.. SHANE Where are my troops? UGLY CUB SCOUT . In their place are the Chubby Scouts. and lets her go. dumping the cookies on the ground and grinding Uthem with his foot.. One of the Brownies spots something. before I get my face punching badge on you. UGLY CUB SCOUT This is Troop 16 territory. . How are we supposed to sell raffle tickets when this place reeks of your skanky cookies? 2ND SCOUT BEAT IT. I haven't seen anybody. One The Brownies take off running. we see who she means: A group of bad ass.
He bends down. who's close to tears: SHANE This is not a toy.A LITTLE LATER . Not cookies. SHANE What happened? (No one answers) Well? LULU Those boys over there broke our cookies.SECONDS LATER Shane runs up to the minivan. and points at Lulu's Panic button. we're going home. If I don't come back -avenge my death. Where? SHANE INT. CHUCK E. Around his neck. Cheese MANAGER. He wears .DAY An extreme CU of the Chuck E. He heads toward the Scouts. Dead serious: SHANE Well then -. Shane eyes the Cub Scouts. 47. trembling. The Brownies are huddled behind it. PARKING LOT . The Brownies scream. Shane takes off running in the direction of the signal. Get in the car. You wanna buy a raffle ticket? We're trying to win .2ND SCOUT Nope. I'm here to protect you. CHEESE .22's. you're supposed to take us to dinner. He firmly tells Lulu. EXT. BROWNIES No! Shane stops. BROWNIE You can't take us home yet. Shane's monitor starts beeping.I'm afraid I have to eliminate them.
MANAGER Anything elsh I can do for you? SHANE In a big glass (he shows him) ice. playing video games and ball. .. but the headgear seems to hurt his face when he smiles. this much cyanide. the Chuck E. the Manager picks up a pitcher and exits.. Lulu approaches.. SHANE I wish I were in Chechnya.braces and head-gear. The Manager approaches Shane. SCREAMING CHILDREN everywhere.CHAOS. which causes him to lisp. LULU Let's fight! SHANE I'm watching your brother. MANAGER How `bout a re-fill on that pischer of Mischer Pibb? What? SHANE MANAGER (gesturing:) Pischer of Mischer Pibb? Mischer Pibb? Frustrated.. Cheese! Wider reveals. while he holds Tyler in the Snuggle. On stage.. MANAGER Welcome to Chuck E. in the PLASTIC BALL POOL. she grabs Shane by the sleeve and drags him over to the stand up Mortal Kombat game. Cheese automaton band JAMS.. Shane's watching Peter. A LITTLE LATER: 48. This much The Manager laughs. skee Brownies are running around.
LULU You wanna switch? They switch sides. ON THE SCREEN: they each select a fighter. He steps up to the machine.Peter's happily splashing about in the plastic balls. My joystick's broken. The second round starts. then kicks him in the face. Nobody can jump thirty feet. Shane doesn't like the sound of that. Lulu's fighter picks up Shane's in the air. Unless you're scared. Round three starts. They begin.. SHANE (CONT'D) This isn't fair. LULU The Hulk can. I thought you liked combat.she pins him to the ground. She leaps over Shane in a somersault and throws a DOZEN throwing stars. Brownies have gathered around to can't watch. SHANE That wasn't a documentary. . then cracks her in half over his knee. He cracks his knuckles. Shane picks a man who looks LIKE SHANE. He checks over his shoulder -. Lulu screams out with her fighter.LULU I pressed two player. and then a kick in the face. SHANE That's not fair. in unison: VIDEO GAME/LULU Prepare to be annihilated! takes 49 . stretches. kneels on his head. Lulu's fighter does a series of kicks. Shane even get one punch in -. Lulu picks a small female character. Then he a joy stick. Then kicks him in the head repeatedly.. Shane is taking it really seriously. He's really mad. spins her.
stop worrying. INT.CONTINUOUS JULIE (ON THE PHONE) I'm a mom.SHANE (re: the Snuggle) You don't have a baby on your chest. LULU (CONT'D) In your face! I am the greatest hand-tohand combat champion in the entire world! Shane screams and RIPS THE JOYSTICK OFF THE MACHINE.. Shane's working the joy stick hard. It's really annoying. it's my job to worry.. HOTEL ROOM . PLUMMER HOUSE . oops too slow.. Sparks fly. leaving the sizzling machine.. jumping. the Zhouse is quiet. SHANE I AM TOO TRYING.. He and the Brownies sneak away.. swing and a miss. She keeps dancing. ZOE .CONTINUOUS Zoe's on the phone. LULU Too slow.. Shane looks around to see if the staff noticed. while he pounds the buttons. ZOE Mom -..take a shot.. come on -. She does a very obnoxious VICTORY DANCE... Shane's really fuming.. she's just avoiding Shane's fighter. dancing.. but he can't hit her. LULU You're not even trying. slamming buttons. swinging and missing. 50. its joystick dangling by its wires.LIVING ROOM . Lulu's having fun now.. He is KO'd. INTERCUT WITH: INT.
Tonight I'm just doing homework -. INT. we're okay.. Zoe rolls her eyes. not cool.Teenagers come and go through the kitchen's DOGGY DOOR. ZOE Dude. who's throwing mustard covered baloney slices at the ceiling. loads Brownies into the minivan.Seriously. this is outta hand. I love you. The guy's just a control freak. then notices a WEIRD SWEATY KID.Its a huge party: the place is JAMMED. I hate leaving you. ZOE Dude. VARIOUS SHOTS . And the folks who read my BLOG. everything's cool. Don't worry. MALL PARKING LOT . Barking at them like Marines: SHANE . . ZOE I know. we WIDEN OUT: The house is PACKED with TEENAGERS: they're keeping quiet until the phone is in its cradle. JULIE It's only a few more days.in my cell. who doesn't seem concerned at all. but you know I have to do this.CONTINUOUS As Zoe hangs up. EXT.The Plummer House: .CONTINUOUS Shane (Tyler in Snuggle). She turns to Scott. 51.LIVING ROOM . PLUMMER HOUSE . kids everywhere. Who are all these people? SCOTT Jus' ma peeps. where they stick with a satisfying SQUISH.. counting them. up. then the TEENAGE DJ starts the music back Zoe looks around at the mess.
. to leave a man behind like that. he spins the minivan in a 180 and floors it. move. Shane grimaces. we once found a kid in the ball pool when we opened in the morning -which Shane wades into the ball pool and pulls Peter out.. the Brownies are singing 99 Bottles.. except that he's MISSING HIS DIAPER. He holds his breath. LULU Should we send someone in after him? He surfaces. freestyling in the ball pool -.DUSK Shane (Tyler in Snuggle) bursts in. He charges across the room with the diaper. The Manager is watching him.for a long time. MANAGER Relax.not okay.they almost always do. out away from him. Not okay. SUBURBAN ROAD .MOMENTS LATER Shane drives. We see what he forgot: PETER. a look of horror comes across Shane's face.. MANAGER I figured you'd come back for him -. MANAGER (CONT'D) WHOA. CHEESE . The Manager and the Brownies share a concerned look. INT. Suddenly. He's still down there. is fine.LATER . CHUCK E. SHANE . SHANE Inexcusable.. Silence. He disappears under the balls -. again. gasping. He's holding the diaper. Whoa. and goes down for the diaper.. the Brownies follow.Move. move! Go go! EXT. still happily playing in the pool of plastic balls. S 52.
Scott.. It's insanity: HIP HOP blasts. PLUMMER HOUSE . PLUMMER HOUSE ..'s turntables. at a full run. then he intuitively dashes past them! He's scoping the surroundings.then CRUSHES the ball.until a football suddenly WHIZZES by. making out. AH! The doggy door! Scott is halfway through the doggy door when Shane grabs his ankles and yanks him back in. Shane holds Scott upsidedown by his ankles. Now. Outraged. vents. Party's over. as he pulls up in the Minivan. peeing in the bushes.. INT. Shane snatches it mid-air -.NIGHT Shane is exhausted.CONTINUOUS Inside is worse.J. Shane takes Lulu. trying to understand.and groans in disbelief. Zoe's dancing with Shane drags the needle across a record at the D. we're gonna do this . windows. He gets out -. POP! hane gives a blood-curdling stare. chugging drinks. EXT. I wanna be able to eat in the kitchen!! Nervous glances -. Reeling. then RUN.. jocks throwing footballs. a total wreck. SHANE Shane unlocks the The jocks flinch. CLUB lock off the door. He protectively guides them past the craziness -. 53...then everybody suddenly RUNS for the back! Shane is confused. scared. Everyone recoils from the horrible sound.Clear out! GO GO GO! And he bursts out the other doors. SHANE No one leaves until this house is spotless! I want to be able to eat off the floor! The latrine! Hell..KITCHEN . SHANE (CONT'D) Oh no you don't.. gyrating TEENAGERS everywhere. Peter and Tyler up the path.
no highway option. It reads: GHOST. ladies. A GIRL reorganizes a stack of CD'S. furiously clean.. Shane goes over them.. Scott and Zoe. He fumes.my way -. he takes it off. labeled with a Sharpie. sticking to the TOP of Shane's head.NIGHT Shane inspects the house. ZOE It was YOUR idea! I don't even know most of these losers. Scott scrubs the toilet with Pinesol as the Duck swims in the top of the toilet. Shane wipes a finger down the sofa. Just then: A MUSTARD SOAKED BALONEY SLICE drops from the ceiling. trying to maintain his dignity. residue. PLUMMER HOUSE/STUDY .and starts DISSOLVE TO: 54. TO: CLEANING THE HOUSE. They see Shane find the CD. through binoculars. in Playtex gloves. Oh my god.. In a bathroom. The Kid quickly starts cleaning again. SHANE (CONT'D) Start swabbing. mopping. SCOTT This is officially the worst party ever..then he notices something. Scott gulps . PLUMMER HOUSE/STUDY . He holds it up to a KID. CUT EXT. straightening -.SIMULTANEOUS Two DARK CLAD FIGURES watch. Miserable TEENS scrub. He lifts the sofa.CONTINUOUS .. as kids clean. Shane's eyes narrow. PLOP. He pulls out a CD: It is a home-burned disk. and walk out of sight. and rubs his finger UNDER IT. INT. Clean. He hands Scott the mop.. PLUMMER HOUSE . INT.
. where she throws up. ZOE I do too respect myself. furniture polished. Shane stands. outside the bathroom door. ZOE . Thanks a lot. ZOE (CONT'D) We hate you.Shane quickly tucks the CD into his pocket. Lulu and Todd step into the hall. you hate us. You're like a robot. SHANE Those people aren't your friends. Shane hands her a handkerchief. They show no respect for you or your house.. Because you have no respect for yourself.VARIOUS Shane works his way through the house.. Shane . she pukes again. Lulu's crying. downstairs! He walks down the hall. shaky and furious. CUT TO: EXT.ALMOST DAWN A long line of exhausted party-goers files out. Why don't you just leave us alone? Silence.. It's SPOTLESS: counter tops glisten. and screams in Shane's face. Zpounding on doors. PLUMMER HOUSE . PLUMMER HOUSE . Zoe blows past him -. Zoe gets up. It looks like Better Homes and Gardens. (Announces:) Company. After a beat. SHANE You got barf on your tank top. My friends will never come here again. Rambo. ueasy. Scott's the last one to leave.into the bathroom. sits down. He heads upstairs. helpless. INT. ZOE You're not my dad! Shane stops. Todd picks her up.
tired) It's Scott. but Shane is SHOCKED from behind by the other NINJA. Don't worry. He goes down.they're good. as soon as your mom comes back.. them The Ninjas pull a retractable KENDO STAFFS. The Ninjas knock Shane backwards down the stairs. Suddenly -. Their Kendo staffs hiss with a powerful ELECTRIC CURRENT.55. The Ninjas attack. TWO NINJAS. Wielding with great skill.. Not even from the enemy.. fiercely -. SHANE You're right. close-quarters and fast. I'm gone. I'm not the man for this job. Red 1. Until Shane pulls down attic's spring-loaded FOLDING LADDER and clocks a Ninja with it. It takes all of Shane's skill to fend them off -. talking doesn't do any good. all in black BURST in through the window.the power goes out. pounding him with their . They leap down after him. Zoe and Todd scoop up the kids and rush down the hall. Now what? SHANE (CONT'D) ZOE (sighs.. SHANE Puberty.. Go to your rooms. SHANE (CONT'D) (to the kids:) Go! Terrified. LULU Shane --! SHANE In all my years I have never been treated with such disrespect.. Shane spins in fight-stance.the three fight. NINJA GHOST -. Suddenly.hand it over! staffs.
blinding him. They step back. He pulls the string. SHANE Okay -. . Shane fends them off with his Whiffle bat. With his foot.knocking him into. PLAYROOM .the Legos and Jacks dig into their feet. He spots a BASEBALL BAT. and uses them both to fend off blows. and swings the plastic disk like a deadly bolo. The Ninjas move towards him -. NINJA/FURBIES Ow! Ow ow! Crap! The Ninjas fight as they hobble around. Shane runs to the changing table.CONTINUOUS There are TOYS EVERYWHERE -. he hits a Ninja in the head. He swings the Farmer John like a bull whip -.. It rattles and pops as he fights with both Toys -. he picks up a FISHER PRICE CORN-POPPER. fiercely. He grabs a barrel of LEGOS.then the Ninjas charge.like a tornado hit a TOYSRUS.. Shane crashes down. FARMER JOHN GAME The rooster goes. 56 INT. avoiding Legos. WHACK. They echo the fight: FURBIES Ow! Ow! no Shane sees: The Ninjas are wearing only Ninja socks -shoes.. a squeezes . He jumps up onto shelf and grabs it.until a Ninja knocks the shelf over. Shane sees a FARMER JOHN TALKING GAME. then violently DESITIN at a NINJA...until a Ninja breaks them with one blow. and grabs it.who wants some? Shane swings the bat down on a Ninja's head: It's a whiffle bat. and flings them all over the floor. Shane and the Ninja share a surprised look -. it makes a silly thunk. Shane fends the Ninjas off. several FURBIES hit the floor.. toys fly. facing them.
He really hugs them. The kids run out and hug Shane with all their strength. Then. Kids. Suddenly he grabs a bottle of BABY POWDER. SHANE Shhh. ZOE I'm sorry for giving you a hard time. KICKING a Ninja in the chest. that your father invented. You can open up. and Shane sees he's now alone. POOF! The room fills with a CLOUD OF WHITE.? SHANE They're looking for a program. OUTSIDE: The Ninja's are long gone.SECONDS LATER Composing himself.. SHANE It's safe.. Todd and Zoe enter.then the door creaks open. He hugs them.. It's okay. Shane bangs the window sill. The Ninja CRASHES through the window! he other Ninja looks up. . terrified... He A long pause -. He runs to the broken window. bawling. INT... The cloud dissipates. disappointed to have lost them. blinded. ANGLE . SHANE I'm not going anywhere. TODD Who were they? What did they want. he hugs Peter and Lulu. Shane approaches Zoe's door. even Zoe is crying and hugging Shane. HALLWAY . quietly knocks.SHANE 57.. fearful. He squints.Shane hangs in the doorway and swings at them.. He sprays it in Shane's face. Shane isn't sure what to do. LULU Please don't leave us Shane..
absolutely nothing pottery . eye to eye. relieved. The kids shudder.MOMENTS LATER Shane and the Kids sit around Shane's computer.. Zoe answers it. And I'm not going anywhere.. (the Kids nod) Tell you what -let's start over..a long pause. I'll listen to you too. Then. They hug him tighter..ZOE So Mom's not paranoid? There really are people out to get us. as long as I'm here. Shane offers his hand to shake. SHANE They're not after you. PICTURE: Demi Moore and Patrick Swayze at a wheel. He takes out the CD labeled GHOST. startled. Deal? Truce -. "Unchained Melody. Shane is furious -. He dries her tears: SHANE (CONT'D) But I can't do this without your help. all smiles. even Shane is laughing too: the telephone RINGS -. pushes play -SHANE C'mon c'mon c'mon. 58. From now on.COMPUTER MONITOR The SOUND comes on: it's MUSIC. you listen to me. and do what I say. Soon." And then.. she tries to play it cool and not frighten her mother: ZOE Hey mom we're fine. They want this. LIVING ROOM . Then. Shane slips the Ghost CD in the disc drive. okay? We need a little more cooperation here. too. it's been a long night. They shake -.then they hug him. CLOSE-UP . Zoe laughs: she can't help it.okay? Zoe and Todd nod. But nothing's gonna happen to you. the other kids join in.they all jump. INT. (to Zoe and Todd:) And I. He looks Zoe..
Bill thinks it's part of the GHOST.. Nope.So soon? We were just starting to have fun.. HOTEL ROOM . SHANE I gotta warn you guys: From now on. SHANE No . The minivan pulls up. I'm gonna be sticking even closer. everyone's fine. yes and no. We found something in the box. Plummer. and Shane emerges with the five kids.MORNING Early morning. two men tried to get into the house tonight. SHANE (very genuine) . She holds up the strange. But we're not sure what it is.. We just don't know what its for.we'll be just fine.it's okay.. metal two pronged KEY. INTERCUT: INT. You have any luck? JULIE Well. SHANE Mrs. as soon as the customs paperwork clears.. Shane takes the phone. Don't worry -. but they didn't find it.happened you should worry about. . EXT. JULIE (CONT'D) The good news is I'll be home in two days. It looks like some kind of "key". SCHOOL . They were looking for GHOST..CONTINUOUS JULIE Oh my god! WE 59. They're gone. students run in to school.
ANGLE on Lulu. He dips an INT. a crazed TEACHER next to her. THE GYM . MURNEY .. Peter 60 She smiles. and smiles at Shane. Shane stands off to the side. in unison: SECOND GRADERS Ooooooooh! (You're in trouble!) INT. An obstacle course with cones.MOMENTS LATER She Shane enters. is holding a broken-off SIDE VIEW MIRROR. egg in some purple dye. making a mess of an egg. Zoe nervously drives a small sedan. SCHOOL PARKING LOT . LULU'S CLASSROOM . EXT." Then. HITS the gas. then BRAKES. car -. They look concerned..she'll pay for the damage. Zoe sits in a folding chair. VOICE (OVER THE PA:) Will Shane Wolfe please report to Vice Principal Murney in the gym. I know it's good. She hangs one of a HUGE HAND. Lulu's classmates all chant. Murney stands. Principal Claire next to him. . LULU'S CLASSROOM . Shane nods. and Tyler are tight in their Snuggles.DAY The TEACHER shows the children how to dye Easter eggs. "yeah. who sits in the back. SHANE Don't worry. ANGLE on Shane. sunglasses on. shaking his head. mortified. So.DAY Driver's Ed. then BRAKES. squashed at a little desk..INT.. she wrecked a driver's Ed.LATER drawings The TEACHER hangs a series of cute "Turkey Hand" above the blackboard (the kind where your fingers make the feathers). reacting each time she HITS the gas. He is gesticulating. SCREAMING.
PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Ordinarily I would wait for his mother to return.. and I found this: Murney hands Shane a book and Shane flips through it. MURNEY This is how he showed up to practice. it's not that -. But this.yes. boys will be boys -.. Todd enters. He does always miss sixth period. he now has a bleach blonde BUZZ CUT.but this is just sick...That? Lady drivers. SHANE Has he been skipping class? PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Well -. 61.it's the boy. giving him a "skinhead" look. SHANE Red two? I mean Todd? Claire nods.... PRINCIPAL CLAIRE It's certainly not normal. SHANE He's not a NAZI. Shane stops. I was doing a little recon in his locker.) See if you can talk to the boy.. No. (pulls Shane aside.I'm a bit concerned. . and I'm not sure what to do. It's a book of photographs of NAZI UNIFORMS.. Zoe shrugs. Murney calls into the hallway. in shock: Todd's long hair is all shaved off. what's going on. Shane scowls. what do you expect. MURNEY (CONT'D) If he'd had Hustler or something. Todd and Zoe stand to go. Shane gives Zoe a look. Find out Shane shakes his head: Todd is worse than he thought. but -. And that's not all. and Shane walks them out..
if you ask me. Murney lets out a Fu SCREAM.that whole family's no good.. MURNEY hope you won't go light on him -. Kung team: Shane walks away. I'll show you a couple moves. and Murney chases after him. SHANE I'll talk to him. huh? (Shane ignores him.who flinches like Murney has maybe hurt him a couple times.. as he passes. Murney laughs. and keeps walking. He "fake-punches" one of his Boys -. MURNEY Come on Frogman! Don't be a sissy! . Shane. we'll give these boys a treat. and leaves. stretching. Without warning. 62. Murney tells his MURNEY (CONT'D) See that? You never know when your adversary is going to strike! SHANE Did you kick me in the back? Is there a footprint on my jacket? Shane dusts off his back. Shane walks the kids out. I promise I won't hurt you. kicking him in the BACK. maybe. SHANE Another time. MURNEY You're a good man. They snicker and shake their heads at Todd. Shane trips forwards to his knees. Bet you're a hell of a fighter on the mats. MURNEY It's a date then.) Maybe sometime we oughta strap up. and leaps at Shane.The WRESTLING TEAM is assembled.
INT. Nothing. SHANE Smart kid. SHANE (CONT'D) You want in or out? The Duck leaps out. Keep all doors sealed. with Shane and all the Plummers piled in. It's small for him. It's pink. with a flowered basket. SHANE Wait Todd. EXT. The window is wide open. It looks like Shane might fight. If anyone gets within forty clicks of the perimeter. SHANE (CONT'D) Zoe. I want to talk to you. and leaves. Shane picks a GIRL'S BICYCLE up off the front lawn. do your homework. but the Duck leaps up on the sill.A LITTLE LATER The minivan pulls up. Shane screws the window shut. signal me. running around the corner. so the alarm didn't go off.shakes Shane turns back. you're in charge. Shane sees Todd climbing on to a CITY BUS. odd yanks his arm away and runs into the house. and make sure Lulu brushes her teeth! 63.far down the block. TODD'S ROOM . but he . Shane looks out the window -. Shane hops out the window.. but instead he takes a deep breath. and snickers to his Team. On the corner. keeping the contact. He starts to shut the window. he can see Todd. Murney his head. preheat the oven. peering out her window. Shane checks his window alarm -there's a REFRIGERATOR MAGNET stuck to it. Shane parks. Todd runs towards the house. He enters. PLUMMER HOUSE . Shane holds Todd back by the arm. He sees Zoe..CONTINUOUS Shane knocks on Todd's door.
hops on and pedals furiously after the bus. EXT. CITY STREET NIGHT - MOMENTS LATER Shane, on the girl-bike, pedals after the bus. A few HOMEBOYS watch him pass, curiously. He nods back, tough. EXT. OLD WAREHOUSE - DOWNTOWN D.C. - NIGHT - LATER The bus stops in a rundown neighborhood Todd hops off the bus. Shane's arrives a moment later, dripping sweat. He stashes the bike behind a mailbox... Shane'S P.O.V.: At the entrance to the old warehouse, Todd meets up with three other TEENAGE BOYS, they're dressed in brown HITLER YOUTH UNIFORMS, they head Shane follows them, stealthily. INT. OLD WAREHOUSE - CONTINUOUS Shane follows the Hitler Youth into a large room, set up with folding chairs. He hides in a dark corner. Todd and the Hitler Youth enter, and take seats. A CREEPY MAN in a scarf walks out, and stands in front of them. Shane watches as the MAN addresses the Hitler Youth. MAN Alright. All my Nazis are finally here. Okay, I want all of you at attention. The Nazis stand at attention. Shane is horrified... MAN (CONT'D) And on stage left - (he yells) VON TRAPPS! I need my Von Trapps! hane watches... as a group of blonde ACTORS, all dressed in lederhosen as the SINGING VON TRAPP family enter, and join the "Nazis." There's also a few NUNS, a CAPTAIN VON TRAPP, and a MARIA. The Creepy Man is, in fact, a good natured, slightly foppish DIRECTOR. 64 .
DIRECTOR Okeydokey. Starting from where we left off Gimme Rolf and Liesl -- let's give You are Sixteen a run up der flagpole...
Todd heads up to the stage, the Director arranges him and well: the ACTRESS PLAYING LIESL (40ish) into position. An ACCOMPANIST begins on piano, Todd sings, remarkably TODD You wait little girl, on an empty stage/for fate to turn the light on/your life little girl, is an empty page/that men will want to write on... ACTRESS/LIESL To write on... TODD You are sixteen, going on seventeen... Shane bursts into laughter. His whole face lights up for the first time ever... Todd and Liesl dance. Todd is good, but nervous. He attempts a spinning kick, but he slips, and hits the stage, clutching his ankle. He gets up, and limps to the seats. The Director walks onto the stage, upset. He looks up, to heaven: DIRECTOR Baby Jesus, have I done some unspeakable evil that I deserve to be saddled with the world's worst production of Sound of Music? (he shouts, at the cast:) We open in a week. The set's not finished... The cast is a bunch of clumsy goats -- every kick ball change would make Bob Fosse dig himself out of the earth, so he could have a heart attack again. TODD I'm sorry... I'll get it right. DIRECTOR None of you will ever get it right! Which is why, I quit. He throws down his script. The Cast is stunned. DIRECTOR (CONT'D) And with that, he exits stage right... end scene.
And, on his own cue... he exits stage right, in a huff. The entire cast looks to Todd, fuming. Shane jumps up from his hiding place, startling everybody. Everyone steps back. Todd is terrified. Shane kneels down beside Todd. He closes his eyes, and begins rubbing his hands together like Mr. Miyagi. LIESL You gonna fix him? SHANE No. My hands are freezing. Shane grabs Todd's ankle hard and unceremoniously CRACKS it, and yanks him to his feet. TODD I'm not going to quit. I hate wresting... SHANE AT EASE. (Todd shuts up) Would you listen, just once? Look, I don't know a hell of a lot about this kinda stuff, but... You're good. A lot to learn, but with hard work, discipline -- you could make a go of this. TODD ... but what about Murney? SHANE That guy's an idiot. stage. Todd smiles, relieved. They sit on the edge of the SHANE (CONT'D) "Sound of Music" is a great show. My dad took me to see it when I was a kid. Shane smiles wistfully. Todd relaxes. TODD You don't seem like the musical type. SHANE Come on. Julie Andrews was hot. TODD
. Men in leotards pinning each other to the floor? I've never understood that. SHANE (CONT'D) DO YOU. I have choreographed multi-pronged amphibious landings and stealth air attacks! (full of bravado) Do you think I have the stomach to whip this production into shape.. grabbing Todd by the shirt collar... show's off... Todd looks up at Shane.What if. Shane's glare.... OR DO YOU NOT HAVE WHAT IT TAKES TO PERFORM THIS MUSICAL? There's some mumbling. Shane looks at the Cast.. Liesl chimes in. He smiles. SHANE COMPANY -. Chicks dig guys who can dance. they're not sure what to do. Shane straightens up. they look pretty glum as they pack up their costumes...CENTER STAGE! off Everyone looks around. weird or something? 66 . TODD Doesn't matter now anyway. SHANE No director? I have directed rescue missions in Afghanistan! I've directed numerous snatch and grabs in countries who's names you are not allowed to know. Shane shakes his head. BEAT. TODD . or not? Everyone nods. LIESL We don't have a director.only a moment after Shane saw him happier than ever.. SHANE You know what girls think is weird? Wrestling. it's over. they quickly assemble on stage.. girls'll think I'm. Todd looks devastated -.
LATER Shane's patrolling the hallway. I don't know why I let it get to me.. ZOE It's just nice to think someone's thinking about you. SHANE Okay. angrily.. Shane exits. you know? S SHANE (He nods) It won't happen again.UPSTAIRS HALLWAY . He turns out the light... PLUMMER HOUSE .Yes. INT. What's up? ZOE (embarrassed) Nothing. BREAKING something... I won't touch him.just as Zoe THROWS her cell-phone into the wall. He hears Zoe in her room. Scott.. another girl picked up the phone. furious. I called him in his room. He peeks in -.. No wait! . It's stupid. SHANE .What are you gonna do? You're not gonna hurt him are you? Promise you won't touch him. I know it's no big deal. YES WHAT? SHANE . LULU'S ROOM .LATER .. ZOE . I promise. 67 TODD/CAST YESSIR. SHANE I don't see what you see in this guy.. INT.
. on Lulu's floor. he illustrates. To find a secret gnome. (MORE) T S L 8.. By the Elf Unit commander at Elf station bravo. He sits on the bed. where gnomes where turning mushrooms into.Shane tucks Lulu into bed.. Once there was a family of Elves. Then he starts: SHANE Okay. ULU Tell me a story.. SHANE(CONT'D) One day. SHANE (CONT'D) The Elf Team decided on an L Ambush -. and they came in from the north. Let's see.. Shane looks at her surprised. As Shane finishes the story. setting up the scene with DOLLS. So -they waited for cloud cover. I 6 .. facility. the little Elf family -.so three elves formed a base leg and laid down a heavy suppressive fire on the gnomes while the others maneuvered around to the right flank and walked through finishing off anything left alive... The elves had to go in and take it out.. Stumped. Uranium. Went into the magic forest.. ULU Why? SHANE They were ordered to.Uh.
. from across the hall.. TO: AN HOUR LATER: D ISSOLVE Shane's really into the story. Then.. Lulu's fallen asleep. Even. Shane doesn't know what's wrong...mean standing. c'mon. He made it up for him. . We got `em all... reading from Todd's notes: SHANE When you're down and low. and whispers to Peter. INT.. The wails get louder and LOUDER.. the teeniest little elf of all -. Todd pops his ODD You have to do the Panda Dance. NURSERY .. And you ain't got a chance.. TODD You have to do the dance.... Don't make a move `til you're in the groove. or he won't stop.Rodriquez. Peter WAILS. Shane's eyes are brimming with tears as he finishes: SHANE (CONT'D) .. Shane sighs. S 69. TODD I'll write it down for you.CONTINUOUS Tyler's asleep. Peter starts bawling. I can't remember that thing.. Todd calls from the doorway. And not one Elf got left behind that day. Like dad used to do. lower than the floor. and do the Panda Dance. SHANE Oh. head in the door.
terrified. She gets out in shock. just like the crabs do. Shane hops forward three times. (He does.) EXT. S SHANE Just hop three times like a kangaroo -Sidestep twice. Humiliated. Lulu is next to him. SHANE (CONT'D) Take three steps forward and one step back. Shane climbs into the PASSENGER SEAT. Shane turns and catches Mr. .MORNING . GARAGE . The other Kid's seat belts CLICK loudly. Chun gets his paper. (Tyler in the snuggle). and gets in the driver's seat. Zoe realizes he's staring at her. with her Gameboy. SHANE Today you drive. Chun. The Kids sit bolt upright..THE NEXT DAY As Mr.Shane sighs. Zoe and Peter are half asleep. He does the dance as he sings. PLUMMER HOUSE ...MOMENTS LATER Todd sits in the back of the Minivan.. They turn to Zoe. listening to Sound of Music on his Walkman. Peter applauds. T the A 70. SHANE What are you looking at? INT. staring. Shane. Shane crab-walks sideways. hands out bag lunches as the Kids load into minivan. through the mirror. mortified. He sings again.
S P . Lulu and Todd are terrified. just as a semi SCREAMS through the intersection. She pulls out. SHANE (CONT'D) THE ROAD! Don't look at me.ZOE But -. Shane is nervous.CONTINUOUS Zoe is super-tense as they drive. MINIVAN .. Shane is shaky. INT.I can't even pass driver's Ed. ZOE (CONT'D) You wanna drive? SHANE No. Touched. The most important thing is that you keep an absolute focus on.. not the road.. SHANE Do you know what causes most accidents? ttention span.. The Kids share a dubious look. Zoe backs jerkily out.. ZOE What?!? he Minivan brakes abruptly at a red light. Keep going. but it's a lot like a Bradley Assault Vehicle. Zoe is surprised. but trying not to show it. TODD Especially when Zoe's driving. I trust you. Exactly. Zoe's looking RIGHT at him. SHANE ZOE Have you given a driving lesson before? N SHANE ot in a car. jerkily.. no.
EXT. Chastened. Shane spots something. hey head into the school. terrified. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT'D) (a long.71. severe stare) Now.. laughing. trembling. Shane unclenches his teeth. KIDS boisterously run past. SHANE I know 437 ways to hurt a man without touching him. T ANOTHER ANGLE reveals: SCOTT (Zoe's boyfriend). Shane's . Shane's LIFTED him in the air by his backpack. Very funny. with a few FRIENDS. Broken promises lead to broken legs. Lulu makes a big show of kissing the ground. being obnoxious.. WALK! DOUBLE TIME. 1500 hours. She's wearing a cute dress. Before Scott knows what's happened. Scott's terrified.. STOP RUNNING!! The kids instantly freeze. RINCIPAL CLAIRE CHILDREN. ZOE Ha ha ha. Suddenly -. BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL . Claire strides into view. BETHESDA K-12 SCHOOL.LUNCHTIME Shane (Peter in lap. Zoe smiles. and a little make-up. INT. almost tapping a bus's rear fender. the kids gulp and orderly march away.LATER Zoe pulls to the curb. Next lesson. SHANE Good. Shane jumps out of the car. Shane lets him down and heads into school. And the other Kids all bolt from the car.Claire BARKS out. Do we understand each other? Scott nods. Tyler in snuggle) keeps an eye on the Kids at their tables.. CAFETERIA .
Love it when he does that. Shane`s not so good at small talk. there's a commotion: Murney is marching Todd towards them. dragging . PRINCIPAL CLAIRE This old thing? Well. you never know who you're going to run into.eyes alight. him by the ear. Suddenly. sailor? Thanks. 72 PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (she coyly smiles) I've noticed improvement in your troops lately. SHANE hey eat in silence. Noon and none of them have been called to my office. Principal Claire watches him leap: PRINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT'D) . Shane leaps over the table. something. SHANE I'm glad I never had you for a CO. S T P . She smiles.. Principal Claire sighs "not again. She's waiting for him to say. It's a miracle. RINCIPAL CLAIRE (CONT'D) Buy you a drink. S he sits beside him. impressed.. Wow.. and offers him a milk... too. SHANE (CONT'D) You look nice today." In one move.. He smiles back.
Murney turns around.. now it all makes sense. No one's sure they heard him right. intimidated. Principal Claire takes one: she laughs. MURNEY (CONT'D) I want this freak outta my school and into treatment. E veryone is shocked that Todd talked back. MURNEY I've had it. MURNEY Winners never quit. Murney. Todd looks. Todd is on the poster in his Rolf costume. Murney gets up in Shane's face. I want to sing. I quit.. M 73. Then: TODD I am not scared. TODD Hey. Todd pulls out a stack of SOUND OF MUSIC FLYERS and hands them out.. A hushed "oooh" goes through the Students.Murney shoves Todd forward. Talk. MURNEY You got something to say? Boy? TODD Yeah. Somebody needs to give this punk a talking to. boy. What're you so scared of. Yeah I do. I'm right here. I just caught this boy dancing under the bleachers like some kind of Bavarian fruitcake. .. Silence. TODD (CONT'D) I'm in Sound of Music.. Freak? The Students snicker.. I. It opens Friday. A hushed whisper goes through the cafeteria.
Todd's telling the truth. His voice cracks -. baby sitter! Murney glares at him -.and then a mob of Students. SHANE You said you wanted to wrestle. (Murney turns:) Let's get one thing clear. I'm quitting because you're a bad coach.it reads: . Murney looks around. You win. A QUICK SERIES OF SHOTS: Of STUDENTS whispering to other STUDENTS.me. He storms out. TODD There is a man in my house -. I'm the only one with the guts to do it. and a lot of CUTE GIRLS. They look to the ground sheepishly. The whole team wants to quit.MURNEY A musical? You're blowing off wrestling for a musical? (to Shane:) This is what happens when there's no man in the house. humiliated. Your ass is mine. Everyone is watching. Let's do it. passing notes: A Kid opens a note -. it's scary S 74. I'm not quitting cause I hate wresting. The Gym.face to face. MURNEY (CONT'D) Stay out of this. taking flyers. Murney did not expect to be called out. M urney looks over at the Team.you're a tough guy now? between Murney takes ONE STEP towards Todd -. Shane gives Todd a proud thumbs up. protecting him. So calm.Shane steps them. There is a stunned moment -. swarm Todd.then he regains his calm: MURNEY After school. You suck. furious -URNEY So -.
Is he okay? TODD (CONT'D) SHANE . climbs to feet and CHARGES again. and they head out. shocked. Shane throws an arm around Todd. Shane side-steps. Murney bounds to his feet. S 75. GYM . and sweeps Murney -. The Wrestlers scream for Murney." INT. mumbling something. rushes Shane. WHAM. Murney. raises his hand and SLAPS it downPinned! TODD who's Shane stands. The bleachers are PACKED. hard. M URNEY on. Murney struts out onto the The two fighters begin circling one another.BAM."Murney's getting his ass kicked. Shane defensively uses Murney's momentum to flip him halfway across the mat.3:00 mat. SHANE I'll be sure to lock up when I'm through. his The Wrestlers mouths drop. The Wrestling Team huddles around Murney. Todd flops to the mat. grabs onto Murney's waist. Murney lands on his back. Murney's shoulders hit the mat with Shane smiling down on him. 3:00. Murney roars and CHARGES Shane. quietly twitching on the ground.sending him right into the wall. Todd cheers Shane on. Shane DIVES OVER Murney. Shane's momentum pulls Murney backwards -. you're about to enter Murney's house of pain.
that's all. right? Well let me tell you you're not gonna find Girl Scout cookies out here. 76 SHANE either. He wears CUT SHANE If you're ever lost in the woods. BUGS. They walk out. the first thing you have to do is find a source of drinking water! And make sure it's potable. TODD That was awesome. too. They look nasty but they're full of nutrients that may save your life. No brownies edible. boil it for thirty minutes! The girls are loving it. She gives him a thumbs up. Todd. SHANE (to Todd) Let's go. Claire. fascinated. If you're not sure. I got my troops waiting. SHANE (CONT'D) Insects.DAY Shane marches the Brownies through a FOREST. . He'll be fine in (checking his watch) two months. So HALO'd into underground Shane kicks over a ROCK. The crowd cheers. SHANE (CONT'D) You have to eat. Shane S smiles at her as he passes.Dislocated nerve. When I Rwanda. TO: EXT. A lot of roots are is some tree bark. I lived off the fern stem for three weeks! Underneath are crawling . Peter and Tyler in front and rear Snuggles. FOREST . LULU We're Brownies.
in perfect tempo. In unison. PUNCH. Shane's got Tyler's cradle next to him.the wheel hubs are CLOGGED with cones. KICK.. He laughs at his own joke. OLD FACTORY . and races through a slalom of orange cones -. It's open to a page that reads "Knot Tying. here.she hits EVERY ONE -. MALL PARKING LOT . this way -and the Von Trapp is set. The Duck watches all this -. by moving around toy army men: S SHANE Okay -.fascinated.FRONT LAWN . EXT. she burns rubber. Shane and Zoe sit in the minivan. PUNCH.. He illustrates the stage directions. he reaches out and rocks it. Shane holds a stopwatch.DAY peels Zoe leaps into the minivan through the windows. BROWNIE He's eating Roly-Polies! The Brownies are frozen in shock. SHANE (mouth full of bugs:) Wots of pwotien! E UPBEAT MUSIC kicks in over the following MONTAGE: EXT. The Kids don't get it. here at the top of the stairs. NURSERY ." INT. EXT. where Shane has set up a scale model of the set on the floor. INT. MALL PARKING LOT .. and. Now the Nazis are gonna come in.. Zoe .He scoops up some bugs and EATS them. KICK.we'll put Von Trapps here. In his other hand he's reading The Brownie Handbook.. the Girls PUNCH. in between punches.. She skids to a stop just short of the "Severe Tire Damage" spikes.DAY The CAST is assembled on stage. PLUMMER HOUSE . He signals her.EARLY MORNING The lot is empty.DAY Shane changes Tyler's diaper WITH ONE HAND.DAWN Shane leads the Brownie Troop through Combat exercises.
DAY Shane has the Brownies assembled. your life little girl. Shane's showing her the IGNITION WIRES. INT. EXT. PLUMMER HOUSE .NIGHT Todd and "Liesl" work on the You Are Sixteen dance.DAY Shane and Zoe are huddled under the minivan's dashboard. He counts begins wriggling free.3.out and weaves the cones. INT. ties a complicated knot to see she's tying Shane's hands behind his the Brownie troop watches. He's attached SOFA CUSHIONS to himself. she only clips one." Lulu. as and then her BROWNIE uniform. is an empty page/that men will want to write on..BACK YARD . PLUMMER HOUSE . blur...DAY -"1. Hands a T . The Brownies attack. T I E 77. NURSERY .. EXT. ODD . it teeters. Shane gives her a signal. They watch closely.DAY Shane changes Tyler's diaper RAPID-SPEED. in we WIDEN back..2.. mercilessly.. OLD FACTORY . she throws it in reverse and drives the course backwards. but doesn't fall.. EXT. MALL PARKING LOT .FRONT LAWN .
Shane is so touched. SHANE (CONT'D) Prancing." Singing and doing all the moves -. NURSERY . He kisses Peter on the forehead. From the top -think of yourself as a gazelle prancing over the plains. Todd tries the kick. INT.hard. Peter. 7 SHANE Don't touch that dial sleep for a while -HEAAAY! And say good night. Peter. Graceful. adding a James Brown flourish. Peter Panda.NIGHT At the end of Peter's crib.he's got it down. But sweet dreams. SHANE (CONT'D) Good night. now and then. MONTAGE ENDS EXT. 8. U Shane BLOWS the whistle. PETER (going to sleep) Good night.EVENING . SHANE I'm not your daddy. he almost bursts into tears.huh? Now. Shane performs the "Panda Dance. Then he tucks Peter in. Again. THUD! Gazelle. Graceful. daddy. landing Shane blows a WHISTLE. SHANE Why don't we just let the Nazis win tonight -. but blows it. He does a spin kick. "PRICE CLUB" STORE . odd tries the spinning kick.
The Scouts share a look -. FORMATION. what's in a Girl Scout's pants when she has diarrhea? Brown. In one move.. wearing the double snuggle. GLY CUB SCOUT Gimme that! He grabs the neckerchief. UGLY CUB SCOUT Let go! Let go -. but like lightning. The Scouts head towards the Brownies.in a FLIP. S SHANE That's my troop. scary.he sees. tying him. Lulu lets out another "kia!" The Girls move forward in unison. He smiles. she wraps it around his arm. striking a cool pose.MOMMY! She lets him go -. LULU Go away and we won't hurt you. the Other Scouts are scared.they LAUGH. Across the lot. The Scout struggles.CONTINUOUS Shane shops. As he's comparing prices -. 7 2ND SCOUT He stops short. The . The head Scout steps forward and grabs Lulu's cookies. the Brownies have moved into a ready to strike. She shoves a cookie in his mouth. she spins out of the way and pulls off his neckerchief. on the security monitor: Brownies attacking the Cub Scouts. at their own table.The Brownies sit at their cookie table beside the door. You're gonna have to pay for that. the Chubby Cub Scouts. see them. Lulu at the front: it's (kind of) LULU Uh oh.. U GLY CUB SCOUT Hey Skeever. INT. he lands on the ground hard. 9. "PRICE CLUB" STORE . proud.
EXT. "PRICE CLUB" STORE - A MOMENT LATER The Cub Scouts have all been tied with their own bandanas to the CART CORRAL. Shane comes out of the store, and catches Lulu, using his "catchphrase." LULU From now on, you do things our way -- no highway option! The Scouts nod, terrified. Shane gives her a stern look, then LAUGHS. INT. VAN - DRIVING - DUSK Shane drives. The Brownies joyously CHANT a MARCH. BROWNIES I don't care what has been said, Brownies rock! Full speed ahead! Give me guff, I'm in your face! Brownies rule the human race! SHANE Sound off! BROWNIES One two! Three four! One TWO THREE FOUR! INT. PLUMMER HOUSE - UPSTAIRS - LATER Shane works his way down the hall, checking on the kids: N
- LULU'S ROOM: LULU is asleep. - TODD'S ROOM: The door is OPEN -- Shane peers in. Todd has a SWITCHBLADE. He is practicing with it, clicking it open, tossing it hand to hand. Off Shane's look: TODD West Side Story auditions in two weeks... Shane takes the switch blade, and performs an AMAZING trick with it, spinning Sit like a pro.
SHANE It's all in the wrist... He heads down to Zoe's room and peaks in -- SHE'S NOT IN BED. He rushes in -- but she's out on... EXT. BALCONY - NIGHT Zoe sits on the railing, she seems sad. Shane approaches. Don't worry. ZOE I'm not gonna jump.
SHANE What's wrong... Scott? ZOE o. Scott's fine. I don't know what you did, but he's really straightened up. Flowers, phone calls. ...I've never been in love like this before. Shane nods. SHANE How long you been together? ZOE A month... SHANE That's longer than any relationship I've ever had. ZOE You're okay, Shane. I'm not used to anyone giving me the benefit of the doubt. My teachers don't trust me. Mom doesn't. My dad didn't care about us, he was never here... Z
SHANE (interrupts her, stern:) Hey. Your father cared about you very deeply. He told me you were the greatest things in his life. That what's bothering you? Cause -- we can talk about it, if you want. Zoe's eye well up, then she cries. Shane holds her. ZOE I miss him so much... Shane is a little taken by surprise. Then -- he decides to answer. He takes his Sfather's MEDAL out of his pocket. SHANE This was my dad's. He was the only family I ever had. Mom left when I was little, cause dad was always gone. Two years in... an indisclosable locale. Another six in... Another indisclosable locale. I didn't really have a home, so I went to military school -- then one day my mom got the letter. No more dad. He looks at the Medal. SHANE (CONT'D) I always wanted to be just like him. I'm starting to realize, I never really knew him. I don't know if I'm like him or not. ZOE That's horrible, Shane. SHANE The hardest part was living without any details...why? How? Where? I always wondered if he thought about me. Me too. OE So how did you get through it?
SHANE You could say I just shut down my emotions. I turned off all feelings and dedicated myself to becoming the perfect
the kids are all abuzz. EXT. The phone rings.CONTINUOUS ulie's on the other end. OE I never even got to say good bye. telling the family: ZOE Mommy's coming home! Mommy's coming home! Everyone wakes up. INT. J 82. JULIE The red tape is cleared up. we're on the first plane in the morning.SHANE He's left alone. A tear runs down Zoe's face. sleepy! TODD When? ZOE Tomorrow morning! PETER Mama! Excited. happy.LATE NIGHT INTERCUT . She throws her arms around Shane. WITH: J INT.soldier. HALLWAY . ANGLE .MOMENTS LATER Zoe runs down the hall. HOTEL . talking excitedly. Shane answers it. BACK YARD .
Suddenly. Three squares a day. How come you don't fly away? (pause) (MORE) T S S S T 83. he Duck stares. Kids to play S . Shane takes a sip out of a juice box. scoping the area with NIGHT VISION GOGGLES ON. SHANE(CONT'D) I guess you've got it good. SHANE Just another assignment. He pets the Duck. GARAGE . the Duck starts quacking. unblinking. Shane sighs morosely. hane rises. No reason for personal attachments. SHANE (CONT'D) Hey Gary. I guess I better fix that Playroom window.The house is dark. Shane turns.NIGHT hane turns the light on. SHANE (CONT'D) All quiet on the western front.. with. INT. your wings aren't clipped. Gary sits in the next chair. Gary follows Shane as he looks for tool.. Shane sits in a lawn chair. Gary's foot is caught in a grate.
leading below the garage.. Lulu hands him a tool. SHANE (CONT'D) What do you suppose this is? Shane tugs at the grate until it pops off. Nothing. The Kids are watching his progress. DISSOLVE INT. Shane pulls out a pen flashlight. The wheel spins. Shane grips the valve and tries turning it.. we see a CRANK WHEEL. INT.. The break in its surface is a strange. and then it gives. revealing a CIRCULAR STAIRCASE. crack the lock all night.CONTINUOUS There's a small room.MORNING Shane's at the Steel Door. Shane steps down it. Shane looks on stunned. TO: to S 84. He's been trying.. Shane is about to stand when something below catches his eye. unsuccessfully. TWO-PRONGED KEYHOLE.. BOTTOM OF STAIRS . INTERC UT: B harder. Gary? Shane gets down on his hands and knees and gently pries Gary's foot from the grate. GARAGE . . only It's solid and inscrutable.. and a hall leading to a STEEL DOOR.. He has high-tech tools laid out in front of him.SHANE What happened. Shane dials a phone. No hinges or cracks. he floor opens. shines it down the grate. He tries muscles rippling..
he answers it. After we turn this in to my CO. excited. GARAGE . whoever's been bothering you guys won't be bothering you anymore.Lulu. GARAGE .CONTINUOUS Shane smiles..don't do anything `til I get there. Then we slowly MOVE UP. MRS. Bill reacts. She looks stricken. We'll be there shortly -.. CHUN CUT BACK . ILL (remaining calm) Good! Good work.. An ominous pause. Do you have it? SHANE No.. W e PUSH INTO the house. and hangs up. Okay. Away from Shane. I've been trying all night. SEDAN .CONTINUOUS SHANE One things for sure. SHANE Sir! Excellent news. Except for -. Silently spying on Shane. I think I found GHOST. can't crack it. Through a window. don't do anything further.. Everyone reacts happily.EXT. revealing the Korean neighbors standing in the dark. sir. towards the neighbor's house. TO: INT.MOVING We pan up from the WHITE "US GOV" license plates to Bill at the wheel.. GHOST. It's in a steel vault. pleased. TO: INT. Bill's cell phone rings. Julie sits beside him. relieved. BILL .
The fish tank is clear.MOMENTS LATER Julie opens the door. he has no answer. BILL What's wrong? They listen -. LULU But.DAY Bill's Sedan pulls up. Julie and Bill hop out.O.. J JULIE'S P. HOUSE . Your mom CUT TO: EXT. Shane -. Kids singing a beautiful. JULIE'S HOUSE .SHANE He goes silent.. Bill is carrying her suitcases.SHANE (CONT'D) What's wrong. I 85. Tongue-tied. so they probably trashed the place. She turns on the lights -what she sees makes her drop her luggage. should be home soon. a capella version of The Hills are Alive (with The Sound of Music)..V. filled with healthy TROPICAL FISH. She trails off. in the next room. comes into the dark hall. INT. SHANE You guys better get ready. KIDS VOICES .they hear. JULIE I had a fight with Zoe when I left.: The house is spotless.. The rug is vacuumed. in shock.does that mean you'll have to go? CLOSE-UP . Lulu? You should be happy.
. featuring Todd. with songs they have sung. DINING ROOM . Across the room.CONTINUOUS Shane and the Kids are holding up a home-made sign: WELCOME HOME. Shane sees Bill enter. Julie starts bawling.. ( B 6. for a thousand years. ZOE Welcome home. KITCHEN . Dumb-struck. mom. She staggers to.(singing. BILL (he smiles wryly. no dishes in the sink. Shane stiffens and salutes proudly. Tyler is asleep: a perfect family. Peter is fresh faced. Lieutenant.... Todd a button down and khakis: barely recognizable.. The Kids rush forward and hug her.. S SHANE Captain. INT. a capella) . INT.. Lulu has bows in her hair. attached to the fridge with magnets: A flyer for Sound of Music. picture- .CONTINUOUS The kitchen is sparkling clean. Bill steadies her. then salutes back) Good job. She sees. MOM! Todd pushes STOP on a CD player: The Sound of Music stops. smiling. Zoe is in a conservative dress. Julie goes to the. 8 JULIE almost faints.
ILL I'm really proud of you. Shane. Don't get me wrong. I wouldn't trade it for anything and I have no regrets. I'm giving you your choice of assignment.DAY Shane leads Bill inside. You just name it. BILL I should hope not. Bill stops. SHANE That's kind of you. all I've never known is the military.INT.. S S 87.. And I think I want to explore that some more. an ANGRY VOICE. SHANE But being with these kids has made me feel like there's more to life than taking out your enemy. reluctant. Bill holds the pronged key. pause) But I'll have to think about it. At nine years old my father put me in cadet school and from there I never looked back. MAN'S VOICE PUT YOUR HANDS UP!! WIDE .. GARAGE . Suddenly. anywhere you want. Shane continues. surprised.. a bit SHANE (CONT'D) Sir. Sir.
reaching for Bill's key..when suddenly. he looks up as he drops.. CRACK! A third gun BUTTS him in the head. CHUN Give US THE KEY! SHANE Mr. and starts to fall. They checked out- KOREAN MAN ands up! Compliant. CLOSE-UP .. Mr. Mrs.. Shane shoots Bill a glance. while SLAMMING their heads together.. MRS.. confused.. Chun. He turns.. Shane puts his hands behind his head. startled... There were delays. Chun comes closer. He takes a submissive position. He is losing consciousness. . and Mrs. hane takes control! He smiles. KOREAN MAN (arguing with Bill) You promised us GHOST months ago! BILL I'm sorry. relishing a second of glory -. then passes out. Things are spinning. SHANE NOW! Shane SPINS and grabs both guns! He WHACKS the Koreans' forearms. Shane peers in confusion. B 88. Disoriented. SHANE'S POV woozy.Shane and Bill spin. Chun? H The CHUNS strides up... GUNS DRAWN.SHANE Lights out. startled.
Chun) Keep an eye on them. At the far end is a LARGE ELEVATED SAFE.. SECRET VAULT Light is at the end. You -. closing the window shades. then slides OPEN! enter. livid. Julie glares.. The floor is covered with square tiles. ILL North Korea pays better. The door HUMS. Peter and Tyler are caged in the play pen. Chun) secures the room. JULIE I trusted you. tied up.BLACK. Chun Bill GAGS Julie. Chun approach the steel door. scared. The Kids are furious. L ULU SHANE!! BILL He won't be baby-sitting you anymore. GARAGE . bright and white. They anxiously tiptoe. reaching. Charles trusted you. Inside is a dark corridor. 9. Bill and Mrs.. They whimper. with two . Beside the safe is a red switch.. He GAGS the kids. INT.. Bill checks the knots binding the children. They THE VAULT! Spare.MOMENTS LATER FADE TO Julie and the Kids are on the floor. Peter has a JUICE BOX. Bill and Mrs. Bill inserts the two-pronged key. 8 Bill grins. INT. exit. The Korean Man (Mr. NURSERY .with me. and it CLICKS. FADE IN: INT.DAY Shane lies unconscious. So did the Department of Defense. (to Mr..
low-pitched HUM. Chun guards the kids. like a monstrous computer. had eyebrows. Mr.S. quickly assuming a fake bound position. Chun pulls the Tracker from his pocket. eyeballing them icily. completely SINGED OFF. MR. HOUSE . A jet blast of FLAME shoots out! She leaps back just in time. BEEPING. CHUN But I've got some C4.. She confidently strides toward the safe -. but the of her jacket is on fire. CHUN Just. MRS.SAME TIME Mr. just missing BOTH ILL Charles never made things easy. CHUN Think I'm stupid? Now stop bothering me. Chun's eyebrows are neatly. BILL You bring your stethoscope? No.needing a distraction. The air is filled with an ominous. Lulu "looks" scared. she unties Zoe! Then -. Chun whirls -. Chun is confused for a second: "wasn't he tied to the other I one?" . Bill pats out the flames with his own jacket..the Kids look innocent. Mr. Lulu grins hopefully: Shane's coming! A beat. she hits her panic button! O.settings: ARMED and DISARMED. then Mr. the Chun spins. It's set on ARMED. startled -. horrified -. But behind her back. Chun is Bokay. Mrs. as if she hadn't moved.which sets hidden flame-throwers in the walls. Tyler GASPS.... MRS.and Lulu quickly ROLLS across room! She lands against Todd.and SCREAMS HIS LUNGS OUT. With a rapid blur of finger-work. done.. off shoulder eyebrows. INT. we reveal her HANDS untying her ropes! Freed. then leans back against Zoe. she signals Tyler and crosses her eyes. He sneers. Bill eyes the safe.. Lulu frowns.
. Mr. CHUN That's cute. he steps closer. Chun growls and starts to stagger up.Lulu frantically unties Todd's ropes -it's gonna be close. HAM without warning. Chun's head. Let's GO! OE (CONT'D) All the kids bounce up. Chun looks at Lulu. Lulu lands in Karate stance and calls out: LULU Hi ya! The other Kids take off. she KICKS him right in the nuts. Skeptical. Mr. Chun's leg. Mr.W Z 90. snake-like move. BEHIND TODD . Chun scowls. They untie Julie. Chun laughs: MR. . he drops to his knees in pain. Lulu runs. Mr. when he's at her level. then LEAPS into his SPIN KICK: it connects with Mr. then scoop up Peter and Tyler. He leans down to look at Todd's ropes Z-OE Now Peter! Peter SQUIRTS JUICE into Mr. Lulu SWEEPS Mr. slamming the door behind her. Chun's face. Chun gets up and turns the Mr... It HURTS. but Lulu EVADES with her cool. The Kids use the distraction: Todd POPS to his feet. then. Chun tries to grab her by the wrist..
He yells out furious! MR.. He reaches out to knock the chair away but he can't quite reach..doorknob.CONTINUOUS Zoe shoves a chair between the door and the opposite wall. INT. NURSERY .. M E M 91. DONNGGG -. clutching her! The . I INT. Chun's face. She SCREAMS. but the door won't budge.. CHUN That stuff doesn't hurt. his face COATED in white. making a small hole. FRONT DOOR . Bill lurches into view. INT. He puts his face up to the hole he's made. Chun falls back from the door. a HAND suddenly GRABS her.but as Julie exits.CONTINUOUS Mr.CONTINUOUS Todd's outside with a FIRE EXTINGUISHER: he blasts Mrs..Todd hits him square in the face with the fire extinguisher EXT.SAME TIME The family comes scrambling out -.CONTINUOUS Mr. AGGGH! JULIE ITSELF. Chun punches the door. they're trapped inside. He sticks his face out the hole. OUTSIDE THE NURSERY . NURSERY .. INT. OUTSIDE THE NURSERY .
Zoe and Todd load the kids into the minivan. RRRR! It shifts into drive and ROARS away. they're not going anywhere.. HOUSE .kids are horrified. MR. as the van PEELS backwards down the and 360's.I've got the keys.as SCREEEECH! The van suddenly FLOORS out. Chun listens to Mr. EXT.CONTINUOUS r. speaking in Korean: RS. They start to run back. . CHUN They're headed for the car! BILL Relax -. Hurry! ZOE/TODD C'mon! Buckle up!! INT.. then nod and run to the side garage. almost clipping him! Z Z 9 2. MINIVAN . INT. Chun comes racing around the house -.CONTINUOUS ON Bill pulls Julie inside. CHUN Chun falls. Mrs. ARGHH! driveway. unsure. She floors it. but she urgently gestures -Keep going! JULIE (CONT'D) RUN! Go GET HELP!!! The kids fret.CONTINUOUS SPARKS FLY as Zoe hot-wires the minivan. Chun THE RADIO.. HOUSE ..
Chun hops into Bill's car and races after them. GARAGE . She hits the curb and goes AIRBORNE. BILL If I knew Charles had hidden it so well. BILL How does it work? JULIE How does what work? BILL Don't play dumb. I wouldn't have killed him so soon. lying on the concrete. oe runs a yellow. holding a military RADIO. WHOOOOOO! The kids SCREAM. INT. Omigod! OE What are we doing??! TODD Let's look for a cop! WIDE The sedan GUNS its engine. B . as they sail through the intersection! The sedan keeps chasing. chilled. It's getting old. What's the code? JULIE I don't know any code -. VAN . leading her to the secret door. Mrs. Julie GASPS.CONTINUOUS Zoe floors it. Then.SAME TIME Bill has Julie at gunpoint. Don't make me kill you too.. Chun exits the vault. gaining on them. INT. I want to know how to get through the booby traps. They step past Shane's body.Charles didn't tell me about the room. a CRACKLING of static..
ZOE . MINIVAN . Bill uncuffs Shane. CHUN (OVER THE WALKIE) I have a clean shot at their tires. Bill. MRS. they might wreck.he clicks "talk" on the radio. SHANE (CONT'D) I know the code. emotional. ANGLE .. half on the sidewalk.. It's B risky. CHUN Mr.CONTINUOUS Todd scrambles into the back seat. Do it. He tries to pass them on the right..S. just please don't hurt anyone. everyone looks down. ILL . It's like a chariot race.Shane is standing in the doorway.93. EXT. don't hurt the kids.DAY The vehicles race. I'll get you in. Then -..) Bill. as Zoe drives. to cut them off! INT. The men stare down. ill eyes him.SHANE They look over -. my husband has question: MR. Surprised. Bill deciding if he can trust him. He does something we can't see. Bring them back unharmed. BILL Change of plan. SHANE (O.. NO! JULIE Julie goes frantic. Chun just inches from the kids' tail. BUSY STREET . Chun zooming by..
then POUNDS the gas! Faster! About to pass. Chun holds Julie.. TODD (CONT'D) Now! Zoe floors it. Mr.MOMENTS LATER Shane scopes out the vault. PETER Wheee! The Van spins madly. Exasperated. Chun is now face to face with Todd -who throws a dirty diaper into the his face. Mrs. Chun SCREAMS.. The sedan skids and PLOWS into a store window. Chun ROLLS UP his window. Mr. Mr..What's taking you? 94. Hair spray. Chun swerves and almost wrecks. orange peels. Lulu starts PELTING Mr. TODD Don't wait for me! The sedan pulls up beside them. Shane is figuring his options. SHANE Anybody got any perfume? breath freshener. Peter laughs. M R. crayons. . In the van. Chun with debris: milk cartons. and loses control. She Mr.. INT. CHUN Aah! HEY -Rubbish clobbers him. triumphant. Zoe looks over. CRASH!! The kids cheer... Chun is pointing a gun! suddenly PULLS the emergency brake. It throws Mr. WIDE RRRRRRRR!! The Van SPINS into a squealing 360. Chun off for a beat. Zoe makes a very lewd gesture at him. The walls and ceilings are covered with high-tech weaponry. Bill waits impatiently. disoriented. SECRET VAULT ...
. SHANE (CONT'D) Zoe. Sweat drips down Shane's face. Bill laughs. Watch. Lulu. Shane SQUIRTS it. Shane gets up. in pain. puzzled. BILL Code or no code.then Julie pulls out a tube of Binaca. ill cocks his gun. confidently: J B B 95 .ZAP! The floor tile SHOCKS HIM. sending him flying backwards. Shane leaps back. He mists the air to see the beams: He steps forward. Peter. revealing in the mist a myriad of crisscrossing LASER BEAMS. SHANE (CONT'D) The key is the kid's names. landing on his hands and knees. That was the code! I swear! I saw Plummer use it on his briefcase. over one beam and ducking under another -.. Shane steps forward .now. Shane steps forward.A bewildered beat -. Todd. ILL You think this is a game?! S SHANE But. Tyler! Bill reacts. He speaks aloud..he miscalculates: a BURST OF FLAME blazes from the ceiling like a giant blow torch. go get it -.
No BOOBY TRAPS are set off. . lower than the floor. Shane he steps forwards.. SHANE (CONT'D) Sidestep twice. S facing forwards: SHANE (CONT'D) Just hop three times like a kangaroo -He hops forwards three times. Bill and Julie share a look -.. He feels the Groove. Shane LAUGHS sharply. SHANE (CONT'D) (sings softly to himself) . He takes a deep breath. Don't make a move `til you're in the groove. NOTHING HAPPENS. and do the Peter Panda Dance. across two tiles. Julie relieved. That's the code! He shares a look with Julie.NOTHING HAPPENS.. SHANE (thinking) Haven't got a chance. Shane feels the Groove in the floor. Again -. not quite centered to the room. He thinks. E 96 .JULIE (to Bill) You can't make him do this -He doesn't have a chance.they have no idea what he's laughing about.. CLOSE-UP . just like the crabs do. Calmness comes to Shane's face. And you haven't got a chance.SHANE Shane's thinks. then back: smiles. fearlessly. He notices a GROOVE carved in the floor. He steps sideway. It dawns on Julie what he's doing. He looks up at the ceiling (bottom of the first floor). When you're down and low. Something she said.
ZOE Come on. Zoe slows down so the Police Car can pull up beside her. 9 7.SIMULTANEOUS The Minivan blasts through another yellow.just in time: FLAMES SHOOT FROM BOTH WALLS right at him. 5-0.it takes a while. Inside is the Cute Cop. Zoe blows past it. When he steps back -. If he'd been standing. BUSY INTERSECTION . The Squad Car's lights flash on. LULU Look out Zoe! Rollers! There is a POLICE CAR cruising the street ahead of them. not the brake. his focus gone. They have my mom.A SPRING-LOADED SPIKE launches down standing. from the ceiling. imbedding itself where he was Shane is rattled. they're FLYING. Until Julie shouts: JULIE QUICK LIKE A TURTLE LIE ON YOUR BACK! Shane snaps out of it and flops down on his back -. Use the gas. EXT. The Cute Cop shouts over at Zoe. he'd be toast. and he catches up with the minivan -. and our bodyguard -.you have to follow me! CUTE COP Just pull over! ZOE Fine. Don't follow me! .SHANE (CONT'D) Three steps forward and one step back. CUTE COP I'd say you could lose your license -but you haven't got one! ZOE People are trying to kill us.
. NECK-BRACE. almost running it off road. EXT. SCHOOL . .. Suddenly. EXT. 98. She shakes her head. PLUMMER BASEMENT . nervously. is Mr. I accept full responsibility. SHANE Wriggle like a snake `til you can't no more. My intelligence proved to be faulty. VROOOOOOM!!! MURNEY (CONT'D) (not that surprised:) I told you not to pass her in Driver's Ed.CONTINUOUS Shane is on the floor. Claire frowns. Shane jumps revealing a the corner. in a cloud of smoke. like there ain't no floor. Shane has wedged himself in A bead of his sweat falls into the liquid. and sizzles up just AS THE FLOOR UNDER HIM DROPS AWAY. The Squad Car is on its tail. concerned.. VROOOM!! Then -FIVE MORE POLICE CARS ZOOM BY. Squad Car turns around and chases her. He's in MURNEY That Baloney Bandit struck again. INT. and speeds back towards her house.the The She swerves into the Squad Car.. at a safe distance. It is joined by MORE SQUAD CARS. Zoe U-turns. but if I had more resources. VROOOOM! Then the Police Car CHASES by. Then better jump quick. Chun in his now-wrecked sedan.SAME TIME a Murney and Claire are watching a SOCCER GAME. the Minivan SPEEDS by. SUBURBAN STREET . It's acid. sliding forward.MOMENTS LATER The Minivan speeds by. Following the chase. pool of liquid.
sir. It's a stand-off.then nozzles spray YELLOW GAS at him. Chun follows.. Whew. The whole room goes SILENT." .and walks across the room. BILL Thank you. Beat.SHANE (CONT'D) (to himself. The safe's red light turns green. Immediately. Still holding his breath: SHANE (CONT'D) And that's the Peter Panda Dance. and jumps back.. I knew you'd figure it out. 99. to the left of the HOLE. Shane scowls. Shane. BILL (CONT'D) You know. And you betrayed all of that. BILL I'll take that as a "no. to calm down) Almost done. What do you say -. He flips the switch to DISARMED. the flamethrowers and blowguns retract! The gas gets sucked into grates. almost done. Chun to go first. He holds his breath just in time. pulling Julie along. All that we stand for. and jump to the left. Bill signals for Mrs. "Just hold your breath. disgusted. Bill shrugs. He nervously steps forward . if you're willing to join up. You were always my best man.we make a good team? SHANE I was devoted to you. Mrs. Finally." He jumps. I'd be happy to cut you in on the proceeds. She gestures back: you go. Bill looks around.he waves his hand over the floor. He's relieved -. Nothing happens. He lands in front of THE SAFE. Bill takes a breath -. The Booby Traps are disarmed.
I think you better open it. MRS. then catches himself.. legs! He's crazed. You open it. Relief. Shane shrugs. Chun. Shane's fury is unleashed: A volley of attacks. trying to read Shane's poker face. Bill is off guard. Chun doesn't budge. Full of himself. Bill LUNGES. before he reaches the dial -BILL (CONT'D) Wait. and ZAPPPPP! 1000 volts ELECTROCUTES her. . I walked the floor first. That's just what you want isn't it? Bill thinks. Chun reaches out.. and touches the dial. BILL (CONT'D) Oh come on. SHANE There will be no mercy.. She turns it. BILL None requested. Mrs. He BILL (CONT'D) Shane glares. And he's strong! shoves Shane back. shaking from the voltage. He starts to reach for the dial... Shane kicks his gun away! The gun skids into the acid and plunges. BILL (CONT'D) . Shane reaches for the safe. unrelenting. her hair on end. but Shane gazes coldly.Bill turns to the safe. Nothing happens. then PUNCHES him in the gut. SIZZLING. Reluctantly . then returns an onslaught of BLOWS.Mrs. CHUN AAAAAA! 100. Chun LEAPS onto his back.. Something's not right. hitting Bill's arms. Bill is incensed. head. But suddenly Mrs. Bill gestures to Mrs.
and the safe door flies open! SLAMMING Bill in the head! BONG! Bill's collapses and drops.O. Shane COLD-COCKS her. Shane struggles to lose her. stumbles backwards across the room. landing on his back in front of the safe.. terrible neighbor. delivering a series of hard punches. spin. Suddenly. IN THE VAN.SAME TIME The minivan races toward the house.they tangle like pro's. Bill wheels around and lands a kicks squarely in Shane's chest. he jabs the spike against Shane's throat. the wind knocked out of him. Peter Panda! The CODE! A BELL rings. BILL Any last words? Julie gasps. She catapults. He jumps to his feet. Shane shakes his head.BILL He steps over Shane.. everyone is SCREAMING.She SCREAMS and grabs his throat. OOF! Bill tumbles. PLUMMER'S STREET . unable to gain her balance. delivering a Bill gets slammed in the chest. Bill is charging him. saved. he drops and FLIPS her. Say. She smiles. It's clear the both have the same training. knocking her out. Shane narrows his eyes.! EXT. But he's unforgiving. K. connecting only occasionally. SIRENS wailing. ROUNDHOUSE KICK. then whispers/sings. kick. which Shane deflects -. chase after. They punch. The Police Cars . good night. ANGLE . Leering mercilessly.. tottering. SHANE You're a. SHANE . Shane tumbles. Suddenly -Shane! JULIE Watch out! Shane whirls.. and stops just inches from the acid! She teeters. then runs to grab her outstretched hand.
smoke BURNING from the tires -.) FREEZE! HOLD IT RIGHT THERE! EXT. Now we can go back to our peaceful. with their hands raised. SHANE . She smiles at Shane. Shane steps out. grateful. They look in silence.a sudden AMPLIFIED VOICE from behind them: ULLHORN (V.O. HOUSE . WHOA! kids?? SHANE What are you doing to these POLICE leap I think .. then BRAKES. from the car. Whoa. GHOST. It's finally over. TODD Zoe! You're going too fast!! You're not gonna have enough time to stopZOE Hey. The Kid spill out and run.. SECRET VAULT .SAME TIME Total commotion. I'M the one in Driver's Ed! I know what I'm doing!! WIDE She squeals into the driveway.101. Cops surround them. The van SKIDS.. INT. JULIE Thank you Shane. Even Peter and Tyler have their little hands over their heads. But it's too late. then look in the safe: Inside. Then -. The kids clamber from the van.SAME TIME Shane and Julie stare at each other. the cavernous metal box holds but one object: A tiny COMPUTER CHIP.. The garage door raises. Shane gently removes it. The lead Police Car screeches to a stop.and hits a tree.
uh. 10 2. Reckless endangerment! Driving without a license.. pointing a ROCKET LAUNCHER. Zoe. EVERYBODY! WIDE Everyone spins.. CHUN (CONT'D) I WANT THE GHOST. ZOE But.a CRAZED SCREAM. AND A DIRECT FLIGHT TO PYONGYANG! The cops freeze. trafficS violations -SHANE (cutting him off) These kids are heroes. and grabs the MR. Nobody is sure what to do. Cops cover Shane and Julie. as he turns his head. TEN MILLION DOLLARS. CHUN (O.. triumphant.. Julie and Shane Freeze. CUTE COP You expect me to believe any of that? Suddenly -.. He scoffs. Even Chun is amazed. They just aided in exposing a high-level espionage ring.S.a WOMAN suddenly flips over the fence. The Cops are unsure what to do.) HIT THE GROUND!!! . vaults onto Chun. He's disheveled and manic. HANDS WHERE I CAN SEE THEM. and KNOCKS him out with a Karate Chop. you're in a lot of trouble. Shane weighs his not so many options.. CUTE COP I said FREEZE. Numerous.CUTE COP FREEZE. officer. Mr. Silence. Now. I suggest you call the FBI. Chun stands inside the gate. But then -. MR... PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Ya!! Claire lands on her feet. Shane spins. helpless.
AGENTS swarm the area. Do you have a card or something? The Agent hands him a BUSINESS CARD. Bill and the Chuns are being hauled away in cuffs.B. DISSOLVE TO: EXT. F . LULU Do you have to wear that thing in your ear all the time? FBI AGENT Beaten. swelling with pride. GARAGE .. ANGLE ..CONTINUOUS The Kids are looking around. 103. You're a one-man battalion. This chaos is unsolvable.THE CUTE COP He's flummoxed.rocket launcher. Shane talks with an F.B. Shane examines it.B. then walks off.I.I. Agent. PLUMMER HOUSE .LATER F. reaches for his radio. Julie huddles with the kids. Lulu is following one of the FBI Agents around. Wolfe. he .I.CLAIRE She proudly smiles back at him. AGENT The Bureau is always looking for good men. COP I think I'll call the FBI. watching the FBI Agents work. CLOSE-UP .I.B. CLOSE-UP . SHANE Just doing my job.SHANE He breaks into a big grin. AGENT Mr. INT. F. that was nice work.
PRINCIPAL CLAIRE So.. right? I guess there's no more reason for you to stick around here. and gather around. from the safe. Mock-angry. EXT.. He looks around: at the family. SHANE Well.. Her siblings. He looks at Claire. Shane looks at her.. I'm on dry land. Peter. fallen onto the floor. I don't know. Zoe reads the LETTER: ZOE If you're reading this.I want to say: I love you more than anything. Tyler. A tear comes to her eye. Lulu -. I always have. The Plummers hug each other. then Julie found the key. Zoe.Yes. a letter. SHANE . here. P RINCIPAL CLAIRE So. re-conning the situation. She sees. and Julie notice. Todd. You tell me. And to tell the truth. On. LULU FBI AGENT Zoe is looking at the safe. Summer's almost here. What's the next move? Shane smiles slyly and pulls her close. I'm kinda. What if you and me did a little amphibious recon mission. say -.. What happens now? You'll be stationed somewhere else. THE PLUMMER HOUSE . 104....CONTINUOUS Claire walks up to Shane.. Does it itch? Yes. PRINCIPAL CLAIRE Well..Maui? . You're the superior office.. Julie. I don't see anything but reasons to stay.
A long beat. He wipes his face.. For everything. He starts to head off. SHANE Ah. ZOE But. He puts them down. to shake his. baffled. Lulu turns to Shane. I'm gonna . squeezing them off the ground. 105. Guess you have to go now.that makes Shane and Claire BLUSH. Lulu calls after him: LULU Shane. come here you. SHANE Claire beams. Shane bawls -.. The Plummers all approach.Sir yes sir.his medal. Before he goes: he reaches down and gives Zoe . Zoe gives them a look -. SHANE He would've wanted me to give it to someone I care about. we're never gonna see you again! SHANE What are you talking about? see you Friday night. sad.SHANE This is too much. SHANE Your dad would be so proud. He surprises her with a BEAR HUG -. LULU This is it. Shane. interrupting. She puts out her hand.. Like he did. Thank you..he hugs the whole family at once. Julie looks up.he can't keep it in. P ETER Love you. Your work here is through. He squeezes her hand around it. TIGHT .
as the family crosses the papier-mâché alps. the most adorable ducklings you ever saw. and shouts: SHANE (CONT'D) YESSS! (And an Armed forces:) Huu-ah! The Audience stares at him. You Are Sixteen begins. The AUDIENCE goes nuts. Farewell. Todd spins. BACKSTAGE . until he sits back down. It's fantastic -. A STANDING OVATION. Julie watches in astonishment.a Michael Jordan dunk. hit your marks." Hearts swell. rapt. the little Brownie Troop. Scott: in a suit. Lulu has a basket in her lap -inside: GARY THE DUCK and his new family. his hair combed." In the audience. Nuns sing "How Do You Solve a Problem Like Maria?" The Von Trapp kids perform "So Long. and stay in character! I expect perfection! (MORE) 1 06.JULIE What's Friday night? INT. They all watch. he leaps into the SPIN KICK. Shane watches with bated breath. In SLOW MOTION. Shane stands. The performers take their curtain . Claire: dressed to the nines. She is surrounded by her children. SHANE(CONT'D) (he grins) Now let's break a leg. Finally: "CLIMB EVERY MOUNTAIN.NIGHT Close on Shane: SHANE Tonight is the night we trained for. even Murney. Wider reveals the Cast of `The Sound of Music'. CUT TO: Shane's military-march version of the musical. VICTORIA THEATRE. beaming with pride. and failure is not an option! No detail is too small! We are the BEST! Remember your lines.
Shane smiles. touched. Thundering applause. A cellophane bouquet of flowers gets thrust on him.and the house goes crazy. THE END http://www.html on December 9 2010 . then giddily gesture Shane to come out. He humbly steps into view -.com/scripts/Pacifier. FADE OUT. Mission accomplished.-The.calls.imsdb.
This action might not be possible to undo. Are you sure you want to continue?
We've moved you to where you read on your other device.
Get the full title to continue listening from where you left off, or restart the preview.