CHARACTER CALENDAR

CHARACTER
CALENDAR

A Father’s Advice for a Better Life

FG

D E E V. S W E N S O N

FILIA PRESS
 Copyright © 2006 by Dee V. Swenson
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner
without written permission.

This book was developed out of a series of letters Dee Swenson

wrote to his children and grandchildren in 2005 and 2006.
The book has been edited and produced
by Tree Swenson.

Filia Press
100 West 12th Street / New York, NY 10011
 CONTENTS

Prologue / 7
Loyalty / 9
Importance of work / 11
Courage / 13
Spending / 15
Citizenship / 17
Become financially informed / 19
Truthfulness / 21
Financial obligations / 23
Patience / 25
Manage your money, don't let it manage you / 27
Compassion / 29
Discipline in money matters / 31
Forgiveness / 33
Use a budget / 35
Interlude / 37
Sincerity / 39
Make education a continuing process / 41
Respect / 43
Strive for home ownership / 45
Self-Control / 47
Cope with inflation / 49
Responsibility / 51
Food storage / 53
Attentiveness / 55
Make Sure You have Some Insurance / 57
Epilogue / 59
 PROLOGUE

Dear Children and grandchildren,

One of you gave me a book for Christmas, but you did not do what I
always request and write an inscription at the front of the book –
therefore, I cannot give proper credit for the gift. It was a book about
our nation and the people we are. I found it very interesting, as it fo-
cused on different aspects of our American life and went into detail
about some communities, companies, and features of our life.
One item that really caught my interest was a section on Aiken,
South Carolina. A movement to improve the community was started,
and one aspect of this movement was to choose several character
traits, which if adopted by the citizens would make Aiken a better
place to live. The people who planned the project were able to iden-
tify scores of attributes that they thought would make the people and
their town better. After collecting many suggestions, they had a
committee evaluate all the traits and condense them into twelve at-
tributes they felt would make their community a better place in which
to live.
The people of Aiken decided to stress one of these traits each
month for a year. So each month, the citizens were advised of what
the goal would be for that month. The newspapers publicized it, and
even the water bills had a note, such as, “ Make Aiken an honest
place to live.” If at the end of the year, the community people felt
they had succeeded, they would continue for another year. They are
now into their second year and feel that this effort has had a positive
effect on their citizens.

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 I was very impressed with this program and thought that it would
be a very valuable thing for everyone. Therefore, each month for the
next year I will send you a letter telling you what the “Character Cal-
endar” asks you to stress for that month.
Of course, I then realized that I couldn’t leave it at that, so I de-
cided to also include a second thought each month pertaining to your
financial health.
I will send you these letters each month unless you decide you
do not want to receive them. If we all pay attention to the traits, and
keep in mind each month the goal of improving ourselves, I am sure it
will make all of us better people even though this is a family affair
and not a community effort.

Love,
Dad / Grandpa

8
 JUNE / CHARACTER

LOYALTY

The attribute the citizens of Aiken chose to emphasize for the month
of June is loyalty. Most of the time when we think of loyalty we think
of it as a patriotic term, as in being loyal to your country. While this
is very important and something we should all strive to achieve, I
think that loyalty should start much closer to home. First, we should
be loyal to ourselves. As we have grown, we have all developed an
idea of who we are and what we want to be. We all have dreams of
what we want to accomplish, and once we form them, we should be
loyal to our goals and try to live up to being what we think we should
be.
Once we have achieved loyalty to ourselves, we should look at
being loyal to our spouses and family. We should support our wives,
husbands, and other members of our family in trying to become the
very best each of them can be. The U. S. Army has a great motto: “Be
all that you can be.” I am reminded of a quotation by Richard L. Ev-
ans, when he said “One of the great discoveries in life is finding a
dependable person.” If we can all depend upon the loyalty of other
members of our families, we will have a most firm foundation.
Each of us will have to find our own ways in which to be loyal.
It might be by speaking positively about a person or about the whole
group. It might be by attending meetings and voting. Each of us might
go to precinct meetings which select delegates to national and state
conventions. It might involve providing financial help or emotional
support. We can help each other by showing that kind of loyalty.

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 I think that when we learn to be loyal to our family, we have
taken the greatest step we can toward becoming loyal to all of the
other groups to which we belong. Each day we should think of how
we can be loyal to our school, our work, our fellow workers, our
clubs and associations, and certainly to our state and nation.
This month we should choose not to criticize or complain un-
justly, and if we must do so, to do it in a constructive manner.

10
 JUNE / FINANCE

THE IMPORTANCE OF WORK

Thomas Edison once said, “I never did a day’s work in my life. It was
all fun.”
I think anyone who feels that way about work is a very fortunate
person. I am very much like that: I cannot remember ever having a
job that I did not like, and that includes using a shovel as a plumber’s
helper. Work is utterly basic to our financial well being. Each mem-
ber of a family should look at work as their contribution to the fam-
ily’s welfare. To be truly successful at work we must like what we do,
and there is a way to make any job pleasurable. This does not mean
that there won’t be some days that we will dislike having to go to
work, but we can nonetheless look forward every day to accomplish-
ing something at work that we have to do. It should be a source of
pride to do something at work that makes your family or your com-
pany more successful. If we are able to make that our goal, then each
day we can look forward to the work we do and to the contribution
we make.
I know that some work seems that it just cannot have much
value. For many years I did not do much to help Elaine with house-
work. It sometimes seems that there is nothing that is more useless
than housework: “It just gets dirty again.” These days I often help
with housework and I find great satisfaction in dusting and other
cleaning. I have to admit that I still don’t like to do it, but I get a sense
of satisfaction after the work is done. No matter how meaningless a
task seems, we can find a way to understand how important it is and
how it contributes to the family and our own well-being.

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 Of course we mostly look at work as a source of income. Once
we have earned that income, we can start to think about how to spend
it. I am enclosing a copy of an article that will give you one sugges-
tion for how to spend some of it. The article points out the importance
of building a nest egg. No matter how young you are, you are not too
young to begin investing in your future.

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 JULY / CHARACTER

COURAGE

Aiken’s character calendar for July is courage. Please join the citizens
of Aiken this month by having more courage.
By this time you have had a month to think about your loyalty. I
hope you have become more loyal to yourself, and that you see pro-
gress in becoming what you think you should be. I also hope that you
see in yourself progress in becoming more loyal to your family, com-
pany, organizations, and our government.
This month I ask you to look at your courage. It is not likely that
you will be called upon to go into battle to prove your courage or that
you will need to race into a burning building to save someone. There
are, however, many times each day we must exercise courage. I think
the best definition of courage is doing what is right each day, regard-
less of the consequences.
To those of you who have children, look at them for courage.
Each day they are encouraged to take some action – often they are
urged to take drugs, to drink, or have sex – that for them is wrong,
and resisting the pressure despite the condemnation or the derision of
their friends is most difficult. I know almost all of us have succumbed
to the pressure of friends and have taken some action we feel is not
really in our best interest. This temptation is easier to resist as we get
older – or maybe we are just not tempted as much. I think those of us
who are older should help those who are younger to have the strength
to resist temptation.
Leigh Hunt (an 1800s poet and essayist) wrote, “When moral
courage feels that it is in the right, there is no personal daring of

13
which it is incapable.” I hope each of us will always feel we are in the
right, and will do what is right regardless of what others do or urge us
to do.
Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “What a new face courage puts
on everything,” meaning that if we face our daily life with courage
rather than with fear we cannot help but be more confidant that we
will do the right thing. Courage is not a gift to us; it is something we
must develop. We develop it by doing what is right each day and
finding that we are more satisfied with ourselves. I hope each of you
will think about courage during the coming month, just as the people
of Aiken are reminded to do during the month of July.

14
 JULY / FINANCE

SPENDING

One of my customers once told me, “People get money not by mak-
ing it, but by spending it.” At the time I didn’t understand what he
meant, but I later realized that what he said was true. When you make
good spending decisions it is just like putting money in your pocket.
All of us can look back at some purchase we have made and later re-
alized that it was very unwise. Even worse is committing ourselves to
payments over a long period of time for something we should not
have bought, for which we paid too much, or for which we are being
charged too much interest.
I am not sure I can tell you how to make good spending deci-
sions. You might have heard the quotation, “Good judgment comes
from experience, and much of that comes from bad judgment.” Most
of you have heard me tell of the time when I was having lunch with
Bud Hebeler and a friend of his, Bill Schultice, who writes a financial
column. Bill asked me what about retirement was different than I had
expected. After thinking, I said that I was more affluent than I had
thought I would be. Bill’s response was that in his experience afflu-
ence came not from making a lot of money, but from being frugal in
the way it was spent. Bud interjected, “Oh, then Dee should be very
affluent because Elaine is very frugal.” Elaine said she was mad at
him but I don’t really think she was. Truly, if we seem affluent to
you, then much of the credit goes to Elaine, because she is careful
about every expenditure she makes; and she also rides herd on me.
If I am able to tell you how to make good spending decisions I
would first suggest that you never buy anything impulsively. Always

15
take time, at least overnight, to think about any purchase that is more
than you have in your pocket or more than you have in your checking
account. Always take time to compare what else is available and at
what price. Always discuss any purchase that costs any substantial
amount with other members of your family, and especially with your
spouse.
Often, new things that benefit people come with a cost. For ex-
ample, the automobile has greatly benefited mankind, but the cost
includes thousands of people killed each year in auto accidents. A
comparison can be made with credit cards and bankcards: they surely
make our lives easier, but they also certainly make it very easy to get
into debt over our heads. Credit cards are the major cause of the many
bankruptcies filed each year.
Most of the time when we consider how we are spending our
money we are considering major purchases. However, we are often
spending far more than we think on everyday purchases. For example,
a cup of coffee or a Coke five days each week can cost $2880 over a
ten-year period. A latte could cost perhaps as much as $10,000, if we
include interest on the money if it were instead saved and invested. A
drink with lunch or dinner can add as much as 30% to the cost of the
meal. Most of you know how much pop I drink, so don’t think I am
suggesting that you forgo these small pleasures. Just be aware of what
the cost is over a period of time.
My advice to you is: “Spend Your Way Into Affluence.”

16
 AUGUST / CHARACTER

CITIZENSHIP

I hope none of you had to dash into a burning building to rescue any-
one lately, but I do hope that each of you had some opportunity to use
personal courage to accomplish something special during the last
month.
The character trait emphasized for the month of August is citi-
zenship. Richard L. Evans once said, “The arm of the law is only as
long as the alertness of its citizens.” From this we should understand
that if each of us does not perform the duties of citizenship, we are in
danger of loosing our freedom and security. No government can give
us freedom or anything else without the participation of the citizens
who live in that country.
Our founding fathers, such as John Adams, Patrick Henry, and
Thomas Jefferson, all recognized that the title of “citizen” was a real
compliment – that a “citizen” was the foundation of our nation and
even of the family.
It would not be possible to list all the things that you can do to be
a good citizen, but a good start is voting – after becoming knowledge-
able about the issues we are voting on and about who we are voting to
put into office. We live in the greatest nation the world has ever ex-
perienced. We should feel that paying taxes for that privilege is well
worth the cost and the sacrifice. I don’t mean we should not complain
or be concerned about how that tax money is spent, but that we
should feel good that our taxation rate is among the lowest in the
world. I know you have all heard me complain about taxes – that is

17
one of those privileges we have as citizens – but we owe it to our
country to pay an honest tax.
Most of you know how I agonized over paying taxes on the capi-
tal gains from the sale of the Chelan condo. In the end, I almost felt
that I could avoid paying the tax, except for two things: that tax was
something I owed, and I did not want to break the law. Often we need
to do what is right even if it hurts.
Each of you can think of many things you can do to be a better
citizen. One example might be to write letters to your representatives
about matters that are important to you. Your congressional and state
representatives get relatively little mail, and therefore, any letter we
write to them gets far more attention than you might think. Other ex-
amples would be to attend local government meetings, be active in
programs such as parent teacher associations, and zoning meetings.
Make your feelings known!
By the way, all of the ideas I am sending you about these charac-
ter traits are my own. In Aiken, South Carolina, the citizens are just
given the trait and it is left to each individual to decide how to put that
trait into practice. That should be your approach as well. Don’t let me
set your goals!

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 AUGUST / FINANCE

BECOMING FINANCIALLY
INFORMED

My suggestion to you as the financial thought for this month is to get

the knowledge you need for financial health. Many people go through
life never understanding what is involved in financial matters. All of
you know I have been involved in the stock market for most of my
life, yet, many people go through their entire lives not understanding
the purpose of the stock market or how it functions.
As a bit of history, the stock market really came about with the
industrialization of this country, and especially with the building of
the transcontinental railroad. This was just about the first time that no
one person had enough money to finance such a project. The building
of the railroad was such a massive endeavor. Just as today, no single
person, whatever their wealth, could afford to build an airline com-
pany or to start any major worldwide company. Therefore, as a new
business is started, partners become necessary, and thus the corpora-
tion is born. Buying stock is merely a way to become a financial part-
ner in a company without having to become active in running the
company or risking all that you own should the company not succeed.
Following are few terms you should know:

Annuity Basis points Bear market

Bull market Puts & calls Stock Broker
Bonds Bond fund Capital gain
Short selling Zero coupon bond Mutual fund

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 12-B1 fee Municipal bond Index funds
Spiders IRA Roth IRA
Stock dividends No-load mutual fund ETF funds
DJA Closed mutual fund Living will

If you have an understanding of these terms, you are on your way to a

financially secure future. However, I have not mentioned the two
most important terms and the two that will be just about the only
knowledge you will ever need if you truly understand them: assets
and liabilities. These two terms will determine your future.
People who are successful financially spend as much as possible
on assets. Those who will have to survive on Social Security spend all
of their money buying liabilities. What is the difference? Simply that
liabilities continue to cost you money. Assets bring you money. Every
purchase you make will fall into one of these two categories, with the
possible exception of a house. Even though you think of a house as an
asset, it is so only if it increases in value, and if it provides you shelter
at a reasonable cost. It is a liability because you will pay taxes, inter-
est, upkeep, and improvements as long as you own it.
Everything else you spend your money to buy is either an asset
or a liability. We must buy many liabilities in order to survive, but
each month we should try to spend a little money on an asset. Cer-
tainly a retirement program is an asset, but is it enough for the future
you want? A little money in a saving account or an automatic invest-
ment in a mutual fund is something everyone should have. Following
the old advice to “Pay yourself first” will contribute to your financial
well-being.
If you want to become financially informed about the above
terms, you will have to read. I would suggest any one of several
magazines, such as Kiplinger’s or Money. Or better still, you can find
some very valuable books. An old one that is still very good is Com-
mon Stocks, Uncommon Profits, by Phillip Fisher, or The Only Invest-
ment Guide You Will Ever Need, by Andrew Tobias. Both are readily
available, or use the library. Become financially knowledgeable!

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 SEP TEMBER / CHARACTER

TRUTHFULNESS

This month I suggest you join the citizens of Aiken in striving to be

more Truthful.

R EBECCA ’ S A FTERTHOUGHT

Yesterday, Rebecca Mason,

In the parlor by herself,
Broke a handsome china basin
Placed upon the mantel shelf.

Quite alarmed, she thought of going

Very quietly away,
Not a single person knowing,
Of her being there that day

But Rebecca recollected

She was taught deceit to shun;
And the moment she reflected,
Told her mother what was done,

Who commended her behavior,

Loved her better, and forgave her.

– Elizabeth Turner

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 T RUTH

Truth is the trial of itself

And needs no other touch;
And purer than the purest gold,
Refine it ne’er so much

It is the life and light of love,

The sun that ever shineth,
And spirit of that special grace,
That faith and love defineth.

It is the warrant of the word,

That yields a scent so sweet,
As gives a power to faith to tread
All falsehood under feet.

– Ben Johnson

I had a difficult time deciding which of the above two poems to use to
illustrate this month’s character trait, and then I realized that one is
very good for younger people and other one for the older, but both
have good messages for all ages. In this series of letters, I have al-
ways given you not only the character trait for the month, but also my
own suggestions of how we may apply the character trait. It is diffi-
cult to improve upon the poems I have included here.
One thing I have always thought of when talking about being
truthful is that you must have a very good memory if you are to be
untruthful. That is, that when you are untruthful you must remember
not only what is true, but also what you were untruthful about.
We all know that there are some times we must avoid the truth to
avoid hurting someone’s feelings, but I cannot think of any other
times when it is acceptable. I think that is what is meant by the state-
ment “The truth shall set you free.”

22
 SEP TEMBER / FINANCE

FINANCIAL OBLIGATIONS

What I offered you last month as financial advice could be the most
important financial information you will ever receive. I hope you will
always remember the difference between assets and liabilities. You
should spend the rest of your life trying to acquire assets. I do hope
you were able to acquire at least one asset during the last month. It
could be as little as $10.00 deposited in a bank account that will be
used to buy a share of stock or a mutual fund. But if it is an asset, it
will make money for you for the rest of your life. I do hope that this
one asset you acquired last month is in addition to your regular con-
tributions to your retirement program.
The advice I will offer to you this month is something that as far
as I know you do not need – at least I hope that you don’t. That is, I
hope that you already consider any financial obligation you have as a
commitment that ranks as high as the most important things in your
life. I think back to when Gary and I decided to start a new business
in Washington. Both of us felt that we should begin immediately to
establish a reputation for being completely dependable as far as fi-
nancial obligations were concerned. To put it directly, we decided
that we would proceed by always paying our bills on time. Our
watch-word was to be “First we pay the bills then we eat.”
By the time we had been in business a few years we had almost
unlimited credit with our suppliers. I remember fondly when we
placed an order with Columbia for a railroad car full of bowling balls.
Columbia called to make sure that is what we wanted. We thought
they might turn us down because of the huge cost involved. Instead,

23
they told us that it was the largest single order they had ever received,
but that they would ship to us based on our record of having paid our
bills. A reputation of this type is priceless. I hope each of you will
sometime look back knowing that your reputation for financial integ-
rity is above reproach.
I know that each of you have at times struggled to manage your
financial affairs and I feel that is in the long run good for each of us.
It teaches us the importance of good financial management. I think
that by now each of you realize that one of the real keys to making
this work is to keep our wants and purchases in line with our expected
income. I have dealt with many customers in the bowling business
who saw money coming in very easily during the bowling season and
failed to realize that the summer coming up was not going to provide
the same income. It is like the fable of the “Ant and the Grasshopper.”
If you do not know this fable, you can call me to learn the moral
of the story.

Side Note:

Elaine was telling to one of our friends, Billie Jean Marquis, about the
letters I write each month. Elaine said it was inspired by a campaign
held in some city but that she did not know where. Billie Jean, who
had recently completed a mission in Nauvoo, IL, was able to tell her
that the city was Aiken, SC. She knew because she had served with
some people who were from there. They were proud of the efforts of
their community in improving life there. If our attention to these
character traits has an effect on us, we can also be proud of our ef-
forts.

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 OCTOBER / CHARACTER

PATIENCE

I thought quite a bit last month about being truthful, and honestly, I
feel that it did not take much effort to be truthful during my day-to-
day activities. I trust you have found the same to be true in your life.
When I considered truthfulness, I honestly thought this family would
not have much trouble with that character trait. That was easy. Octo-
ber’s character trait might be much more difficult. I hope we can join
the citizens of Aiken in developing our sense of patience.
My children who in the past have accompanied me to restaurants
where service was poor will no doubt think I am the last person to be
suggesting that anyone should develop patience. I think some people
manage to have patience naturally. I think of my daughter-in-law,
Lori Jane (who is the world’s best daughter-in-law). I think she is
naturally gifted with patience. I have said several times, “I have never
seen her angry.” Others of us do not have this trait naturally, but must
develop it. There are times, still, when I am impatient, but these times
are much less frequent and they pass much more quickly than in the
past. I truly believe that patience must be developed, and it is not too
difficult. I know our lives will be much more pleasant when we con-
trol our emotions, and life will also be more pleasant for those around
us.
The first week of September I was with a group in Canada play-
ing golf. While at dinner one of the men who was with us was upset
that a waitress was not prompt in service. He was rude with her and
we were all embarrassed at his outbreak. A few minutes later some-
thing else came up, and I responded to her in a nice manner. The man

25
complimented me on the way I handled the situation and later apolo-
gized to the waitress. Had I not developed a better sense of patience, I
might have been the one who felt an apology was necessary.
It seems that Shakespeare had a quotation that fit any situation.
In this case it is:

How poor are they who have not patience!

What wound did ever heal but by degree.

It seems that I can always find a quotation that says what I want to
say better than I can say it myself. In this case William Plumer, foun-
der of the New Hampshire Historical Society, gave advice that I feel
is invaluable:

Be patient in little things. Learn to meet the everyday

trials and annoyances of life quietly and calmly, and then,
when unforeseen trouble or calamity comes, your strength
will not forsake you.

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 OCTOBER / FINANCE

MANAGE YOUR MONEY DON’T

LET IT MANAGE YOU

I cut the enclosed article on managing money out of the paper a few
weeks ago and thought I would send it to my older grandchildren. As
I have looked at it I thought it would be good advice for any of us. I
am sure as we look at it we will feel that if we are over 25 we have
missed the boat. Actually we have not missed the boat – we can catch
the next one. We will arrive a little late but at least we will arrive at
our destination, just a little later than someone who started earlier.
When I tell you to “mange your money,” I mean we should al-
ways have a plan for using our money. I did not say spending our
money, because a portion of each dollar we receive should be set
aside. Of this money we set aside, some should be for later purchases,
such as a new car, a vacation, or for some longer-term usage, such as
a new roof, a home, or an addition to the house. Then you must also
make provision for the really long term, which is a nest egg for your
retirement.
I intended to emphasize what I thought were the key points in the
enclosed article, but as I read them I couldn’t find any of them that
were more important than the others. I urge each of you to look at
each item and evaluate what importance it has in your plan for retire-
ment or for the future.
Maybe the most sobering fact is that the estimate is that 40 years
from now it will take $3.26 to buy what $1.00 does today. If you
think that is an exaggeration then think about this. A little less than 40
years ago (1968) Elaine and I bought a house in California for

27
$38,000. That house would sell for over $750,000 today. Also, at that
time Motel 6 started business, and all of their rooms were $6.00 per
night. Today Motel 6 rooms are at least $30.00 and as much as
$50.00. This is why I urge you to put your long-term savings in mu-
tual funds. This will give you the maximum protection against infla-
tion.
Good luck to all of you, and start managing your money today!

P. S. Two weeks ago I sent you an article about how to get better
mileage driving your car. Since then I have tried to follow those
methods. I can report that I got 22 miles per gallon with my Cadillac,
the best I have gotten since I bought it new in 1993. Paying attention
to these little things and driving a little slower has saved me about
15% of my gas (sorry, Dan). This means that gas essentially costs
$2.43 rather than $2.85.

28
 NOVEMBER / CHARACTER

COMPASSION

My Madonna

I hailed me a woman from the street,

Shameless, but, oh, so fair!
I bade her sit in the model’s seat
And I painted her sitting there.

I hid all trace of her heart unclean;

I painted a babe at her breast;
I painted her as she might have been
If the Worst had been the Best.

She laughed at my picture and went away.

Then came, with a knowing nod,
A connoisseur, and I heard him say;
"'Tis Mary, the Mother of God."

So I painted a halo round her hair,

And I sold her and took my fee,
And she hangs in the church of Saint Hillaire,
Where you and all may see.
– Robert Service

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 If I can stop one Heart from breaking
I shall not live in vain
If I can ease one Life the Aching
Or cool one Pain

Or help one fainting Robin

Unto his Nest again
I shall not live in Vain.

– Emily Dickinson

The citizens of Aiken will, this month, observe the almost twin of
patience. That is compassion.
A few months ago the important character attribute was courage.
That means that you stand by others in times of danger or stress.
Compassion requires us to stand with others in their distress. To do
this we must learn to look at others not in judgment, but as people in
need. The Robert Service poem illustrates so well that how we look at
others makes a great difference. The painter painted what he per-
ceived the woman might have been if given a chance. The passerby
saw in the painting not a harlot, but the Mother of God.
If we are to have compassion for our fellow humans we must
learn to look at them and see what might have been. David Hume
once expressed this by saying, “Compassion is a natural feeling,
which, by moderating the violence of love of self in each individual,
contributes to the preservation of the whole species. It is this compas-
sion that hurries us, without reflection, to the relief of those who are
in distress.” Compassion, more than anything else, makes our world a
better place in which to live.

30
 NOVEMBER / FINANCE

DISCIPLINE IN MONEY
MATTERS

I would like to suggest to you a new term that may be valuable. It is

“LBYM,” which stands for “Live Below Your Means,” or more suc-
cinctly S-A-V-E. Why should you bother? Simple! Because your fu-
ture and your retirement will need to be financed somehow and unless
you plan to work until you are ninety, it would be smart to start plan-
ning for it now. I can suggest 6 ways to start doing this:
1. Start by looking for places to spend less and save more. One
way is to not eat out too often (sorry Elaine). Take your lunch to
work. Drink more water. It is cheaper and healthier than pop or juice.
2. Keep up the maintenance on your car. Don’t wait until the
brakes squeak or the engine smokes. Cherish your belongings. Don’t
treat everything as a consumable. Take the time to maintain your pos-
sessions. They will last longer and hold their value.
3. Shopping at garage sales and thrift stores can save lots of
money. You know the old saying, “One person’s trash is another per-
son’s treasure.” Buy generic brands unless you are convinced there is
a difference. Don’t be swayed by advertising. Buy from stores like
Costco and Sam’s. You will have to buy in larger quantities, but this
may mean you have to make fewer trips to the store. How much is
gas?
4. Make a wish list for things you want. Then implement a wait-
ing period of a few days for your wish list, and honestly examine your
wants versus needs. Don’t buy anything until the waiting time is up.
Don’t buy on credit! (Exceptions might be housing and automobiles.)

31
 5. Check your budget often for places you can potentially cut
back. Can you bank cheaper? How about your insurance? There are
many telephone packages. Is yours the right one for you or can you
find a cheaper one or one that offers more features you need. Your
cable package is often larded with things that you can do without at a
considerable saving.
6. Always keep in mind that new ways of satisfying your needs
are being developed every day – many at lower cost. Look for these
things, but do not feel that you must have the latest thing or toy. The
most expensive time to buy something is when it first hits the market.
Wait a while and you can buy a better product for less.
If you are able to S-A-V-E, the next question is: "What do I do
with long-term savings?" The answer is very easy. Put long-term sav-
ings into an index mutual fund, such as Vanguard Total Stock Market.
This fund will do better than 90% of all professional money mangers.
How can you do better?

32
 DECEMBER / CHARACTER

FORGIVENESS

I have been careful to keep all of the suggestions for the character
traits out of the area of religion, although there is evidence that most
of these traits have a basis in the teachings of faith. I will depart from
avoiding religion for this one time because I cannot find anything
more pertinent to forgiveness than a commandment from the Doctrine
and Covenants, a basic book from the L.D.S. church. It is:

I, the Lord will forgive whom I will

Forgive, but of you it is required
to forgive all men.

When we think about that quotation we may feel that asking us to

forgive everything seems all but impossible. Yet we know that time
has a tendency to reduce the pain we feel. Strangely, many things that
seem unforgivable to us when they happen seem not so very impor-
tant to us after some period of time. I think our challenge should be to
make this period of time shorter. If we feel that we may be able to
forgive after a time, then perhaps we should forgive sooner, and thus
save ourselves the resentment that builds up in our feelings and makes
us a little less than we should be.
I know that there are many things that, at the time when they
happened, I felt would never allow me to forgive someone. When I
was finally able to forgive, it was largely because I was able to put
myself in the other person’s shoes. Most actions look one way to one
person, but totally different to the other person involved. Often a third

33
party will view what happened very differently than either of the per-
sons involved.
I once heard someone say, “We should write the faults of our
brothers in the sand. Their virtues should be written on tablets of love
and memory.” If we can follow this advice, we will live a better and
happier life, a life that is more in keeping with what we should be.
In conclusion, I would offer you something I once used when I
was asked to talk in church:

Imagine that you are invisible and walking down the

street. As you proceed you see two people talking to each
other, and they are people you respect very much. As you
approach you realize they are talking about you. They do
not know that you can hear. Ask yourself what they will
be saying. Then ask yourself, “What would I want them to
say?” Now once again ask yourself, “Do I live my life so
that I deserve to have them say the things I want to hear?

34
 DECEMBER / FINANCE

USE A BUDGET

This month’s financial advice will be a little difficult for me to give

you, since Elaine and I have never really lived on a budget. We have
been fortunate to have never had any real financial problems. I know
that using a budget is something that will make your life better. One
reason we have been able to maintain financial security is that Elaine
has a built in ability to stay within a budget. In fact if she were to use
a budget it would probably require her to spend more money than she
does now.
To a certain extent, I have been able to stay on a budget because
I always limited my access to money by living on an expense account.
There were many times I realized that I was spending more than the
expense account and have had to reduce expenditures to stay within
the funds available.
In spite of this, it is a fact that people who have trouble living
within their income will succeed better by using a budget, even if it is
somewhat informal. As all of you know from what I have told you for
years staying within your income means also a very solid savings
program. This savings program means saving in addition to what you
put into Social Security or any pension or IRA account.
During this last week we have had Bud and Mirriam Hebeler
here as visitors. I think Bud may be the nation’s best authority on sav-
ing for retirement. Bud told me that we as a nation now do not save
any money. In other words, on the average people are not saving any-
thing. This means that the Social Security Administration will not be
able to provide as much as you might expect. This is terrible news for

35
our country since it also means that funds for expansion of industry
will not be as available as in the past. Thus, we must plan to expect
less from our defined pensions and Social Security. Your best defense
is a strong savings program and a good IRA account.
Do plan to save at least 15% of your income!
I know this is tough advice and it is something I did not have to
face when I was your age. Things have changed, and although this is
tougher, there are many ways in which things are easier for you. The
trade-off is that you as an individual must take more responsibility for
your future and especially your retirement.
Living on a budget could be an important first step in doing this.
I don’t want to seem to be a prophet of doom to you, but it is impor-
tant to face the future with as much knowledge as is possible.

36
 INTERLUDE

Dear Children and grandchildren,

This is a cover letter for this month’s suggestion for improving your-
self by thinking about the attributes selected by the citizens of Aiken.
This will be the eighth of twelve character traits and with this letter,
we will be three-fourths of the way through the year. For myself and
for you, if you choose, I think it might be a time to review and ask
ourselves if we have progressed, and if we have become better peo-
ple. Personally, I feel that if we have changed just a little, it is great
progress, since most adults change very little or not at all.
In review, we might have personally improved ourselves in the
following areas:
June, the beginning of this series of letters emphasized Loyalty,
loyalty to yourself, your family, your employer and the world in
which you live.
July was the month in which Courage was emphasized. Probably
our best chance to show courage is in doing what we know is right, in
spite of what others think or what the consequences bring.
In August the trait selected was Citizenship. This should proba-
bly have been selected for the month in which we vote, but maybe
August was better because it could remind us that being a good citi-
zen is a twelve-month-a year responsibility.
September was the month when Truthfulness was emphasized.
This might be a time to reflect upon our truthfulness to ourselves and
to others.

37
 October brought Patience. Perhaps the most difficult for me, but
maybe the trait in which I think I have been most successful in im-
proving. I trust you also have made progress.
Compassion was the watchword for November. I thought I had
really improved until last night when our golf group decided to make
a contribution to a charity. They choose the Coachella Rescue Mis-
sion. I made the comment that it was not a choice I would have made,
since it is mostly for people involved in drugs and alcohol. A discus-
sion with our friends that followed showed that I was not compas-
sionate toward those people. Oh well, it shows that I still need to
improve. How about you?
December brought a trait that was certainly timely. Forgiveness
is part of the Christmas season. We certainly should find time to have
forgiven someone at this time of the year, but we also should remem-
ber that this too is a twelve-month-a-year responsibility.
Now we go on to January, which will be Sincerity. I am sure you
will find in this another area in which you can improve.

Dad / Grandpa

38
 JANUARY / CHARACTER

SINCERITY

It would be interesting to know whether or not the citizens of Aiken

have become more sincere. If they have, then certainly Aiken has be-
come an even better place in which to live. By now you know I like to
add quotations to illustrate the character traits the citizens of Aiken
have selected. George Burns once said:

The secret to succeeding in show business is sincerity.

If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.

This is not a quotation that we should seek to emulate, as it illus-

trates a total lack of sincerity. However, if we recognize false sincer-
ity it will help us to cultivate true sincerity in our daily lives. Most of
you remember Stan Olson, one of the two best friends I have had
through the years. Stan had a way of issuing compliments that in my
opinion was unsurpassed. When he talked about his wife he would
say without reservation. “She is the best woman God ever put on this
earth.” When you heard him, you had no doubt he meant it with no
reservations. He often said to me that I was the best salesman Bruns-
wick had ever had. I know he meant it, although he had thought the
same thing about previous salesmen and would again. In spite of that
I know he said those things in complete sincerity.
It might help to look at a dictionary definition of “sincere.” Sin-
cere is defined as being without deceit, pretense, or hypocrisy, or be-
ing truthful, straightforward and honest in a desire to help. All of
these things are certainly traits that anyone would like to have, and

39
even more, would like to have others show in their actions. Today I
went to the Christmas program put on by the Palm Desert Singers. As
I looked at the ladies on the stage I realized Elaine was certainly the
most beautiful lady there. I could have dropped it there, but instead I
told Elaine this. Somehow I felt that she believed me. She should
have, because it was true. Too often we pass up a chance to tell
someone something complimentary. When we give compliments, it
must be done with complete sincerity.
As I type this I realize that the important thing about sincerity is
that we develop it not in a selfish manner, but in a manner of giving.
Never pass up a chance to give a compliment to someone when you
can do it with sincerity. Doing so will certainly improve life for both
you and whomever you come in contact with.
Probably just as important, and maybe even more so, is to avoid
being insincere. We should avoid being insincere even more strongly
than we strive to be sincere.

40
 JANUARY / FINANCE

MAKE EDUCATION A
CONTINUING PROCESS

Once again I will start with an old quotation:

It’s what you learn after you know it all that counts.
– Harry S. Truman

I would think we have several examples of this in our family. Rich

started by knowing how electronic equipment was made and what the
theory of electronics entailed. There was a time he probably knew
more about this than his coworkers. Then he learned even more and
was able to advance. Now he is the most knowledgeable person in his
company here in America. He often has to go to sites that someone
else should handle, but because he has learned more about the opera-
tion of the equipment than anyone else in his company, he is needed.
I am constantly amazed by how much Dan knows about the op-
eration of the Tesoro Refinery. Although there are many highly
trained engineers at the refinery, from what I know, I doubt any of
them could compete with Dan in overall knowledge of operation. I
also know most of what he has learned has been learned the hard way,
not at a specialized school.
Holly has never lost her desire to learn. I always wondered how
she learned so much about the publishing industry in a small backwa-
ter location (sorry Holly, but this is true) like Port Townsend.
Chris struggled with school and did not find it as easy to learn as
her siblings, yet she never stopped trying. Today there is nothing she

41
cannot accomplish. Several of us depend upon her for computer op-
eration and being thorough in her follow-through.
Lori certainly knows the value of continuing education; she is
doing it the hard way. We should do all we can to make education
easier for children and grandchildren. And never stop urging them to
continue learning, even after they know it all.
I am also aware of the progress being made by all of the grand-
children. Lacy is now perusing a long held desire to excel in photog-
raphy, going to school again. Alicia, while doing very well at The
Archer and making a good deal of money, finds time to pursue her
desire to become a nurse.
Mac is making progress with his business, expanding from fram-
ing to siding and roofing, and as he learns will continue to enter other
areas of building. Stephanie continues to progress with new chal-
lenges in dentistry by learning to work in the hospital and new areas
of responsibilities in dentistry. Each should recognize that every new
thing we learn opens new opportunities for further learning. Of
course, the younger grandchildren are still undergoing their basic
education, and as they do, we should all encourage them to get all the
education they possibly can.

42
 FEBRUARY / CHARACTER

RESPECT

Many years ago when President David O. McKay was on an LDS

mission to Scotland, he passed a building that had a cornerstone with
the architect’s name and the following inscription in a Scottish
brogue:

WHAT E’ER THOU ART

ACT WELL THY PART

To him this said that he was to respect himself and always act in ac-
cordance with what he perceived himself to be. It seems to me we
should first decide what we are and just what we want to be, then
spend the rest of our lives trying to be just that. That is, we must learn
to respect ourselves. When we have that self-respect we can then turn
to a larger task, that is, respecting others.
Most older people feel that the younger generation does not have
the respect they had when they were young. I think my parents felt
that the younger generation (mine, that is) did not. That is also true
today. It seems that I was taught respect for others more so than most
young people are today. However, I am probably wrong. When I was
young it was a sign of respect to call all adults by either Mr. or Mrs.
This is not common today. It does not mean there is a lack of respect.
A better way to judge respect is to observe how we relate to people.
The fact that we as a nation are more tolerant of those of other races
and colors is a far better sign of respect than using a title. Being more
careful in our treatment of the environment can also be considered a

43
sign of respect, not only of the environment but of the others who live
on this earth and of the future generations.
To whom should we show respect? Really the list is endless. We
might start by respecting our parents and elders (get that, children and
grandchildren!). We should also show respect to our children and
other young people. I think this is something that we often overlook. I
don’t know when I started to look at my children and respect them as
individuals – probably it was not as soon as it should have been.
Maybe I still don’t do it as well as I should.
From there we could make a long list of people to whom we
should show respect. A list might include law enforcement, military,
public employees, people who serve us in stores and restaurants, pe-
destrians, and all with whom we come in contact.
Perhaps the most difficult group to remember is those who in
some way seem beneath us, such as employees, someone doing us a
service, or those who are destitute and on the street. Every person on
earth deserves some measure of respect. We will be better people if
we are able to observe this character trait.

44
 FEBRUARY / FINANCE

CONTINUALLY WORKING
TOWARD HOME OWNERSHIP

For most people, the most valuable thing they will ever own is a
home. Strange as it may seem to each of you, this is something which
is not common any place else in the world. I truly think that the idea
of home ownership is one of the key things that has made the United
States the most stable and secure nation in the world. Having a home
means many things to people. It means such things as security against
old age, a safe place for a family, a refuge from the trials of the world
– it provides a hedge against inflation and gives us the pride of own-
ership.
Perhaps you noticed that I used the term “continually.” By this I
mean that just owning a home is not enough. When you first own a
home it is only the beginning. From the first day you start into home
ownership, you should think of what you can do to enhance this valu-
able asset, or start making plans to move into a better or more valu-
able home. At this point I would like to offer some advice. Never
refinance your home to get money to use for a purpose other than
home ownership. That is a loosing game.
Another thing that is very important is that you should learn to
take care of your home. As far as I know, each of you are doing that.
What I mean is that you should learn to make repairs by yourself.
Calling a plumber or an electrician can be very expensive. I know that
a person of average intelligence can make over 90 percent of home
repairs. If you don’t know how, then call someone who can show you
how to make these repairs.

45
 A few examples would include putting a new gasket in a faucet.
If this is done as soon as a leak is noticed, it can take only a few min-
utes. If you leave it, the leak will eventually cut a groove in the valve
seat, meaning you have a difficult job resurfacing the valve or replac-
ing the entire faucet. A leaking toilet is usually a minor problem. If
you wait too long before getting a leaking toilet fixed, it will often
mean replacing the flooring around the fixture. Keeping the house
clean and orderly will keep insects from multiplying and eventually
damaging the house and your possessions. Unfortunately, as soon as
you get the house clean, it begins to get dirty again and attract insects
and vermin. Thus the word “continually” is again a key to good home
ownership.
When you finance a home you should try to pay off the loan as
soon as possible. Years ago a twenty-year mortgage was rare. Now a
thirty-year mortgage is almost standard and we are beginning to see
forty-year paper. If you are able to pay off a mortgage in fifteen rather
than thirty years, you will pay only about forty percent as much inter-
est. If your mortgage is thirty years try making an extra payment at
least once per year. The savings in interest will be substantial.
I can also tell you that one of the most satisfying days of my life
was when I was able to pay the last of a mortgage and to own our
house free of debt. I hope each of you can reach this goal. It will be a
blessing for you and your family.

46
 MARCH / CHARACTER

SELF-CONTROL

The ancient Greeks had a famous saying: “Nothing overmuch.” The

maxim calls not for total abstinence, but rather reminds us to avoid
excess. We should know that too much of anything, even a good
thing, may prove to be our undoing, as this old tale shows. We need
to recognize when enough is enough. I don’t think anything is more
embarrassing than losing our temper. Almost every time we will look
back and regret our actions, realizing that what happened did not jus-
tify our lack of self-control.
I think one of the most important ways to maintain self-control is
to get along with people. Following are six suggestions for getting
along with anyone:
1. Expect the expected! If you are going to see someone who
annoys you or who is not always agreeable, don’t expect them to
change. If you do, you will be upset and disappointed. If you cannot
accept them as they are, don’t see them. You will not change them.
2. Don’t react. Some people will purposely try to push your but-
tons looking for a response. Surprise them by not reacting as they ex-
pect. Or one of the best responses is to remove yourself from the
scene. Try “Oh, there is Susan I must go talk to her.”
3. Look for hidden gifts. Everyone has some talent or skill.
Compliment them and ask for information. Everyone responds to that
kind of attention.
4. Practice self-defense. If people don’t appreciate gifts from
you, then choose a gift certificate. When you know someone might

47
not appreciate a food or some attention, choose something that will
not trigger a response.
5. Know your limits. If you know that someone’s actions will
annoy you, then make sure that your time with him or her is limited.
If you can only stand them for five minutes, then plan to excuse your-
self after that time.
6. Silence your critics. If someone asks a question that is none
of his or her business, be prepared with a response. Ann Landers used
to suggest that the response to a rude question should be: “Why in the
world do you want to know that?” Or, “Why would you ask a ques-
tion like that?” Or when someone questions your activities respond
with: “Thank you for being concerned about my health but ---------.”
Another thing that can help you in getting along with anyone is
to remember two of the previous suggestions by the citizens of Aiken:
Compassion and Patience will greatly assist you in your relations with
others, both friends and family.

48
 MARCH / FINANCE

COPE WITH INFLATION

It has not been too difficult for me to offer advice about your financial
health on the subjects I have chosen in the previous months. This
month is different. There is nothing more difficult than preparing for
inflation.
I might use an example to show you how devastating inflation
can be. My mother moved to Seattle to be near me for a few years.
She knew she could no longer take care of her home in Salt Lake
City. It was beautiful home overlooking the entire Salt Lake Valley.
She rented it for a year, then decided to sell it. She sold it for a good
sum and put the money in the bank so that she could buy a condo
when she moved back to Salt Lake. Unfortunately, while she was in
Seattle, the country underwent a period of very high inflation (as
much as 16% per year). When she returned to buy a condo, the money
from the house sale would only buy a small condo, which was worth
only about 35% of what her house had been worth.
I strongly feel that inflation is the greatest enemy of security and
retirement. If you read the paper, you will note that experts say that
inflation is low. It may seem so, but it is still at least 3% per year.
That means that if you save $100 for ten years then try to spend it,
you will find that it will buy only about half of what it would when
you put it away. Actually, money in the bank is a loosing proposition.
You will be paid only about 2% on the money, and will loose 3%
through inflation. In addition to that, you will have to pay income tax
on the 2% you did earn.

49
 So, how do you protect yourself from inflation? One of the best
ways is to own your home. Most of the time homes increase in value
at least as much as inflation. Rental property is also very good protec-
tion against inflation; however, rental property is not the best invest-
ment for most people. The only other suggestion I can make to you is
that you own stock in companies that grow with the economy. Com-
panies that meet these criteria are McDonald’s, Boeing, and oil com-
panies. I have suggested before that unless you spend some time
studying the stocks you would be better investing in mutual funds. In
mutual funds, the ones that are considered value funds have a degree
of protection.
If you keep your home up-to-date and keep the majority of your
money invested, it will be the best protection against inflation that I
can suggest. I know you will see many suggestions that you keep
some money in cash or some other form that is easily accessible. This
is a good idea, but be careful that you don’t have too much invested
as cash or in a money market fund when inflation rears its ugly head.
Another example I can give is what Bud Hebeler told me about
his retirement pension. During the first ten years of his retirement, the
purchasing power of his pension declined by over 50%. The only pro-
tection you can have from this is that you must save at least 15% of
your retirement pension so that you can keep up your purchasing
power. I know that most of you are not now thinking of retirement,
but when you look at how much you need for retirement, you better
increase it by at least 15%.

50
 APRIL / CHARACTER

RESPONSIBILITY

To respond is to answer. To be responsible is to be answerable or ac-

countable. To be irresponsible is immature. When we increase our
responsibility, we increase our maturity. When we help our children
become responsible, we are helping them along the road to maturity.
In King Richard III Shakespeare tells about King Richard pre-
paring for a battle, but the groom was in such hurry to get the King’s
horse he refused to give the blacksmith time to make the last four
nails for the horseshoes. As the battle started, King Richard spurred
his horse forward but a shoe came off. The horse fell, the King was
left alone on the battlefield, and the battle was lost – as the king
shouted: “A horse! A horse! My kingdom for a horse!” From this we
have learned:

For the want of a nail, a shoe was lost.

For the want of a shoe, a horse was lost.

For the want of a horse, a battle was lost.

For the want of a battle, a kingdom was lost.

And all for the want of a horseshoe nail.

51
 I think each of us remember some time when we failed to take
some little action, a failure of responsibility, and later realized how
much better we would have been if we had been a little more respon-
sible. For me, I know I was often irresponsible in not doing my best
in schoolwork. This was dangerous, in that it can become a lifelong
habit. Fortunately for me, sometime along my growing up I was able
to improve on my lack of a good character trait. The citizens of
Aiken, South Carolina, are being urged to improve their sense of re-
sponsibility. It is interesting to think about what kind of a community
we would be experiencing if all the people with whom we come in
contact were in every sense responsible.
I wonder how many of you have been curious about where
Aiken is located. If any of you are interested, it is in the middle of the
state from the North to South, but almost on the border of Georgia. As
I have written about the city this past year, I feel that I would like to
visit there. It might be best if I do not because I would be disap-
pointed if I found that this campaign has not been a success. I just
hope we as members of a family have profited by thinking of charac-
ter traits that will make us better people.
It might help in becoming responsible if we think about the
benefits we still derive from becoming responsible people. Some
things I can think of are:

1. We will become more valuable to our employers or customers.

2. Our family life will improve because our family can depend upon
us to do what needs to be done.

3. We will certainly reduce stress upon ourselves knowing that what

we promised to do has been done. We will not have to make excuses.

52
 APRIL / FINANCE

FOOD STORAGE

It seems that the things I want to suggest to you often have some rela-
tion to church. As you know, the LDS church urges all members to
have two years’ supply of food in storage in case of an emergency (it
used to be one year). Although I don’t think it is necessary to have
that much food storage I do suggest you have enough in storage to
last you and your family for at least two weeks, and maybe a month to
six weeks.
If we have learned nothing from the hurricane Katrina it is that
unforeseen emergencies do happen. Wherever you may live, you
might think something like that could not happen there. Be assured
that no place on earth is immune from such an occurrence. Some ar-
eas of the country think they are not in danger of earthquakes. The
Midwest is such a place, yet the greatest earthquake in our nation’s
history occurred in New Madrid, Missouri. There is no record of any
earthquake before or since.
Volcanoes are mostly predictable in the areas where they exist,
and if you think you are immune to that one disaster, you might be
right – but if you eliminate that one vulnerability, you will most likely
find that your area is susceptible to several others.
You might give some thought to what foods are good for storage.
Canned goods are particularly good for keeping, but don’t forget to
keep a manual can opener on hand. Frozen foods are not good since
most emergencies will mean a loss of electric power. Dried foods are
good but must be protected from moisture. Beans and dried peas are
some of the best foods to store, since they provide great nutrition at a

53
very low price. Wheat is certainly the best possible thing to have for
food storage but I do not recommend it because you will not use it
except in the case of an emergency and it is therefore a waste of
money. Curiously, hard candy is a good storage item since it stores
well and provides great energy though not good nutrition.
One of the most important things to take into account if you start
a food storage program is to store foods that you will use and then
replace them as you use them. Buy a few cans of beef stew and each
time you use one or two buy two more and rotate your stock.
You might also consider keeping the food until it is close to the
expiration date and then give it to a food bank, making sure you im-
mediately replace it. Perhaps you could use the food that is a little old
and have a party with friends, telling them it is your way of using
food that is kept for an emergency. You might influence them to start
a food storage program of their own. Think what a blessing it might
be if you are the only one in your family that has food when an emer-
gency occurs. It might save the life of a child – your child or grand-
child.

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 MAY / CHARACTER

ATTENTIVENESS

How often have we said to our children and others “Pay Attention!”
We could find many words that come close to this statement: alert-
ness, observant, watchful, vigilant, and perceptive are a few words
that are elements of attentiveness. Most often our lack of attentiveness
is our failure to be observant. I am probably one of the most unobser-
vant people I know. It is especially called to my attention when Elaine
has some new item of clothing, a new hairdo, or some new item of
decoration around the house. She is very good at calling my attention
to my failure to notice these things. I try to tell her that if she will give
me a little more time I will notice.
I know attentiveness is a weakness of mine, not only with Elaine,
but also with daily life as well. I can’t tell you how to become more
attentive, but one thing that would help is if we make sure to take
some action when we do notice something new.
As with many of the character traits chosen for emphasis by the
citizens of Aiken, we might first think of this in relation to our
spouses or other members of our family. Attentiveness certainly ap-
plies to many more situations than that. We could talk about paying
attention to our work, paying attention to our community and country,
or paying attention to personal relationships in our daily life.
I often think of the things to which we do not pay enough atten-
tion. I think we often do not pay attention to our health. For example,
you all know I just had surgery for squamous cell cancer on my lip. I
don’t know just when I realized that the sun was dangerous. I do
know that I was not careful enough for too long.

55
 Do pay attention to things like sunlight, blood pressure, sugar in-
take, and most important of all, your weight. I suggest that you sit
down and write down a list of things that you are apt to overlook, then
occasionally look at that list and ask yourself if these items are getting
proper attention. Most illnesses give warning symptoms; pay atten-
tion to them!

THE TRIFECTA

Most of you probably know that a trifecta is a racing term. It means

choosing correctly the first three horses in a race. I feel that you and
others your age face that kind of difficulty in your near future. The
three important decisions you must make correctly are:
1. Preparing to finance education for your children and grand-
children.
2. Setting aside enough money to insure a secure retirement.
3. Preparing for the expense of health care, which is now con-
suming almost 20% of the average person’s income.
It would be nice if these items would work together, but more of-
ten they actually oppose each other. Often they come during difficult
times of your life. I have heard it said that people cannot save money
until their children are gone. To some extent this is correct, but if you
accept this, it is a recipe for difficult budgeting and perhaps a very
sparse old age.
For some reason, it almost breaks my heart to see a woman well
into her 60s waiting tables in a restaurant. Please make sure you save
enough money that none of the ladies in my family have to do hard
physical work in their old age. I wish I could have enough money to
provide for each of you, but there are just too many of you, so you
must do it for yourself.

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 MAY / FINANCE

MAKE SURE YOU HAVE SOME

INSURANCE

It is very easy to become over-insured. It is just as easy to become

under-insured. Being under-insured can cost you dearly. People
whose house is flooded or damaged by another disaster can testify to
that, but then it too late. People who are hit by big liability lawsuits or
personal injury items are often left destitute. On the other hand, some
who are over-insured find that too much money has gone to insurance
leaving not enough for a comfortable retirement. Somehow each of
you needs to reach some kind of compromise.
There are kinds of insurance you will likely need all of your life.
Some of these are medical, homeowners, and auto insurance. Often
your employer will help provide your health insurance. If you don’t
have this, your health insurance can be very expensive, especially as
you get older. At 65 Medicare will kick in, which will help at a time
when your health costs are increasing. Even at that time it will be im-
portant for you to sign up for Part B, as well as either a health main-
tenance organization or a Medigap health policy, and probably some
type of prescription coverage.
Anyone with a young family should have some life insurance. If
you buy from a life agent he will try to steer you to a type that in-
cludes some type of savings program. Most of the time this is not the
best choice. Term insurance is the best type for you at this time of life
because you will get more insurance for less money. You will not
have to pay so much to get adequate insurance. True it lacks that
promised payout at the end, but you will be much better off finan-

57
cially if you just buy the term insurance and put the extra into savings
that go into a mutual fund.
After your children are grown and on their own you probably
will not need any life insurance. If you still feel the need, make it just
enough to carry the family through funeral and recovery. Most life
insurance policies take your money, then invest it in something like a
mutual fund. When the investment makes money the life insurance
company keeps part of it and gives the rest to you. Why not make
your own investment and keep all of the increase in value?
Perhaps the most daunting decision is whether or not to have a
long-term care (LTC) insurance policy. There are two types of people
who do not need this. First, someone who will have very little in re-
tirement so that their costs will be covered by Medicaid. Second are
those who have enough wealth that they can afford the very high
costs of private care. Private care often cost $70,000 per year, so as
you can see you have to have a considerable amount to cover this.
Just be careful in buying LTC, this field is filled with charlatans who
are not willing or not able to properly explain what you are buying.
(A friend of mine bought such a policy, and then when his wife de-
veloped Alzheimer’s, he found that it only applied while he could
care for her at home. As soon as she went to a home the policy ended.
He was not aware of this clause.)
One source of money for a late-life health problem is your home,
which can often be used to provide long term care. A reverse mort-
gage is used to provide monthly cash, which means you are selling
your house on time payments. Yes, you will eventually not own the
house, but this is apt to be after you are no longer alive. My sugges-
tion is that you consider this. Unfortunately, most people resist this in
a desire to leave “something for the kids.” At this time in your life,
this should not be a consideration, since most often the kids are better
off than the parents.

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 EPILOGUE

Dear Children and grandchildren,

I wonder how many of you realize that the letter I sent you last month
was the twelfth letter in which I have advised you of the “Character
Attribute” chosen for emphasis for a month. I surely realized it, be-
cause I knew that the first of each month was a deadline. Writing let-
ters and finding something to say was not easy for me, but now I am
through. I hope each of us has gained something by concentrating on
these twelve traits of character chosen by the citizens of Aiken.
I am going to conclude by reviewing the letters I have sent you
through the last year. The twelve traits are:

Jan. SINCERITY

Feb. RESPECT

Mar. SELF-CONTROL

Apr. RESPONSIBILITY

May ATTENTIVENESS

June LOYALITY

July COURAGE

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 Aug. CITIZENSHIP

Sept. TRUTHFULNESS

Oct. PATIENCE

Nov. COMPASSION

Dec. FORGIVENESS

One thing you learn if you have ever been a teacher, especially if you
are called upon to teach something with which you are not familiar, is
that in preparing to teach you always learn much more than the stu-
dents to whom you give the lesson. I found this especially true when-
ever I was called upon to teach a church class, which always had to
do with becoming a better person. I know I always learned more than
my students. Just as that is true, I know that writing these letters for
the past year has had more effect on me than reading them has had on
you. I just hope there have been a few times you have thought of
ways in which you could improve yourself.
I am reminded of the time when Christ was asked which of the
Ten Commandments was the greatest. He answered, “Thou shalt love
the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all
thy mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second
is like unto it, Love thy neighbor as thyself.” In thinking of this, I
would like to tell you what I think, for me, is the greatest of the Char-
acter Traits we have reviewed. The most important to me was No-
vember, “Compassion,” and as Christ said, the second is like unto it,
“Forgiveness.” To me these two traits often go hand in hand.
I know that it is often impossible for someone to say which trait
is the most important. If each of us were to choose what we find the
most important I think we would find that most of us would choose a
different trait. I also think that if we were to review in later years what
we choose as the most important, each of us we would find that dif-
ferent traits would be the most important depending on the stage of
our life and development. I just hope and trust they have also changed

60
me for the better. Maybe there are one or two that have touched you
and changed you for the better. If any of us have changed or im-
proved even a little, we are to be congratulated, since most people
change very little after becoming adults.

The second part of these letters has dealt with financial matters that I
thought would be of value to us. They have been:

Jan. Make education a continuing process.

Feb. Strive for home ownership.

Mar. Cope with inflation.

Apr. Food storage.

May Make sure you have some insurance.

Jun. Importance of work.

Jul. Good spending choices.

Aug. Become financially informed.

Sept. Meet financial obligations.

Oct. Manage your money, don't let it manage you.

Nov. Discipline in money matters. L.B.Y.M. Live be-

neath your means.

Dec. Use a budget.

When I chose to write of the character traits, it was easy because

someone else had prepared the list of traits. When I decided to include
a financial item with each letter, I had to draw upon my own experi-
ence. I hope these twelve subjects contained something that was of

61
value to you. Some of this might have related back to a picture that
Liam had hung in the bathroom of their house in Somerville. Maybe
some of you have seen it. It was of an elderly Indian woman obvi-
ously malnourished and near death. The telling words beneath the
picture said “She just ran out of money. Don’t you run out of money.”
I guess I live in constant fear that one of my children or grandchildren
might “run out of money.”
I really feel that if each of us pays heed to the above items, we
will greatly lessen the danger of ‘running out of money.” I know that
each of us can look at some of the above subjects and find things we
could do to enhance our financial condition. The best wisdom on
Wall Street is that to be successful in the stock market you need to
buy something when everyone else is sick to death of it. Then sell it
when everyone else thinks it is the hottest item they have ever seen.
That is the way I look at the economy today. It is so good that it
scares me as I have never been scared before. Just now as it looks so
good that we have nothing to worry about, I feel this is the time of the
greatest concern.
Just as I chose to emphasize two of the character traits, I would
like to suggest that you choose two of the financial items which have
the greatest value to you. For me, the first I would emphasize is “Dis-
cipline in money matters.” I feel the term “Live Beneath Your
Means” is perhaps the best advice I could possibly give to you. And
the second is one that helps to achieve that; it is “Use a Budget.” If
you do not use a budget how do you know when you are living be-
neath your means? Using a budget will also help us to make good
spending choices.
I hope these letters have been of some value to you. If even one
of you has been able to make some change in your life or spending
habits, then I feel that I have not wasted my time. I do know that I
often think of things that I have advised you to do, and trust that I am
being faithful to the suggestions I have made to you.

I send this letter to you with my love and affection,

Dad / Grandpa

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