THE RED FLAG LIST

This list can apply equally to women as well as men. If

the person you are with does any ONE thing on this list, put
on your running shoes. If they do TWO or more things,
lace those shoes up tight, and start RUNNING.
1. He does things to make you feel financially obligated to
him, without your asking. For instance, you haven't
known each other for a year and he pays off your car to
surprise you. If you and this loser break up, you will
definitely get a notice to appear in small claims court to
repay this "loan".

2. "The Dangling Carrot". This person throws money

around to hook you, and make you believe that he is a
generous person. Watch closely and you will see his
attitude about money change over the months and years
that you know him. The moment you are "hooked" either
by moving in together or getting married, all of a sudden
he is concerned about expenses and you'll find yourself
nickel-and-dimed at every turn.

3. When you get into an argument, he tells you to, "Read

Machiavelli's 'The Prince' so you can learn to deal with
assholes like me."

4. He constantly says that ALL women are psycho.

5. He sleeps constantly. In fact, he uses it--his need for
sleep--as a regular excuse to miss meals, events and even
quit work.

6. She/He engages and disengages without warning. For

example, every time you take her out you have a great
time and a lot of fun but then she barely returns your
calls, or takes several days to return them. You end up
calling first because you have fun together but you find
yourself in a chase mode with no indication of whether or
not she's willing to be caught. This is not courting, this is
a game of control and dysfunctional interaction usually
dominated by someone who has mental health issues. This
person is good at yo yo-ing you're emotions and making
you question yourself. Bottom line...they're users.

7. He admits to paying for and having sex with a prostitute.

Quadruple red flag points if he admits he did it without a
condom.

8. He hurts pets or talks about how he has hurt them in the

past.

9. He directly endangers your life by driving drunk.

10.He has no hobbies other than watching TV

 11.He (or SHE) tries to take you on as some sort of
"project" and attempt to "improve" you, as if you
need to be "fixed" and he/she's doing you some sort of
favor.

12.Instead of being honest with you about how he feels, you

find out that he (or SHE) ridicules you behind your back,
even when you have expressed a preference for honesty.

13.He decides that something about your behavior is

bothering him, but never tells you directly, as a friend
would, giving you the chance to have an open discussion.
Instead, he drops subtle hints, or does it in a roundabout
fashion, like sending a letter to a publication he knows
you read, hoping you'll see it. When you don't pick up on
the clues, he gets angry.

14.You visit at his home or apartment and it has hardly any

furnishings or curtains. You find out he didn't just move
in - it's been like this for months or years. When you go
on a date together he asks your opinion on curtains and
sofas etc. He wants YOU to be the one who chooses the
colour, décor and all the knick knacks and you have been
dating for two weeks? Watch out! Men like this are
searching for a mothering type to save them and fix them.
Run now!
15.When you say you need space, he gets mad, and says,
"Well, I thought we had a relationship WITHOUT
boundaries..."

16.He says things like "You make me feel bad about myself"
when you try to assert healthy boundaries.

17.He dumped his ex in an incredibly mean way - in front of

her friends, or at their wedding, for example. Then tells
you about it in great detail, with pride in his voice,
expecting you to be impressed.

18.He doesn't like you talking about (or doesn't even let you
talk about) any ex boyfriends/husbands, especially past
sexual stuff

19.Complains about your clothes - that they are too tight,

too revealing, etc. when they are really not.

20.You find key loggers on your computer or find him trying

to get into your emails

21.He makes it clear that he doesn't want you talking about

him to anyone else.
22.He vacillates from day-to-day or week to week as to
whether he wants to be in a relationship or not.

23.He checks out personal stuff while you are still dating..
such as your bills laying around, notes, letters, stuff on
your computer

24. He wants to get you pregnant ASAP

25.He calls his mother everyday and for every thing that
comes up in his daily life

26.He talks outside on the phone w/ his family, never around

you

27.He never really talks about any ex's but does blame
everything on them, they cheated, wanted $, etc.

28.He has ex wives that you find out about LATER

29.He doesn't like to go to social places like bars, where

there are a lot of people and possible attention on you
from other men
30.He refers to ex-girlfriends or wives with terms like
"Bitch", "Cunt" or "Whore".

31.He gives you gifts, and takes them back when you get into
a fight ( those aren’t gifts they’re his bargaining chips)

32. He
wants to adopt any children you have ASAP and
wants them to call HIM daddy ASAP

33.He has tried and/or admits to trying to make you mad for
no real reason.

34.He mentions how you should feel "lucky" to be one of the

chosen few on his "good" list. "There's not a lot of people
in this world I let into my life."

35.The only thing he EVER says when you are in need of

empathy/support is, "I'm sorry you feel that way." Or, in
his true narcissistic fashion, he will mention how he has
felt, or feels, the EXACT same way; hence; bringing the
spotlight back over to him. AGAIN.
36.He plays with himself while you are lying naked next to
him. It will make you feel like you are laying next to a
child that has discovered his penis for the first time.

37.He mentions how he has a high IQ, and not many people
"understand him."

38.The only time he says anything remotely "sincere" is

when he's drunk...which is 5 nights a week. (usually after
work) He'll say things that make you believe he really
DOES have that soft side you've been seeking since the
day you met him. "You're so good for me" "I want to be
loved and show love" "You know I love you..."

39.He is domineering and selfish in bed. Gives you orders.

"Touch me" "Look at me" "Tell me how much you want
me." He won't get off unless you are doing these things.
Sex is NOT a sensual experience for him. He doesn't
understand that you are a human, have feelings, need to
be treated gently, etc. Sex is just another method of him
proving his greatness. And if you don't get off, he'll be
upset. Not because he genuinely cares about you; but
because he didn't live up to his false sexual alter ego. King
of the Satin-Sheet Throne, if you will.

40.When you ask him why he's so quiet, he says, "I only say
what needs to be said." He mentions the beauty of silence,
and how so many people fill up the air with unnecessary
vocalizations. BARF.
41.When you ask him why he doesn't open up about his
emotions, he says, "I'm a machine. I'm programmed not
to feel." When you tell him that's the most absurd thing
you've ever heard, he will use his job (as a general
manager, or any authority position) as an excuse of WHY
he can't open up.

42. Heis a film critic, a history major, and poet. You are
almost intimidated by his "artsy" side. He is intelligent,
well-versed, and well educated. You think to yourself,
"How did I snag such a GREAT guy?" As time goes by,
you notice that his film reviews (especially historical war
films) and poetry are the ONLY areas he "comes alive."
You wonder why he has such a strong connection to
certain things, yet emotionally he's aloof.

43. When you call him out on his shit, he playfully says, "I'm
clueless!" He will say this over and over again, as if it's
"cute." When you are genuinely pissed off at him, he will
bat his broken puppy dog eyes, and say, "I know you love
me, though..."

44.Will mention how much he hates his father; yet talks to

him every other day on the phone.

45.Takes no responsibility if the relationship isn't going

"swimmingly." He blames YOU. YOU'RE not working
 with the situation. YOU'RE not accepting him the way he
is. YOU'RE passive-aggressive, etc.

46.His life is ambiguous. You never really feel like you

"know" him. You may meet his family once, and friends
occasionally, but you always feel like he's hiding
something. He never really explains any of his past in
detail. And, if he does, it's only when he's explaining his
way out of something. I.E. "I'm the victim, and here's
why."

47. Makes extremely creepy, misogynistic comments. "I think

it would be really funny, when you're introducing
yourself to a woman, to extend your hand out, shake her
hand, and say, 'I'm gonna rape you!' “You do NOT laugh,
though he gets a kick out of this. When you corner him on
this, he mentions how his uncles used to make rape-
jokes.....towards him.

48.Is over socially opinionated. At first you think he's well

educated, and become intrigued some of the odd facts he
knows. Later you realize all these facts add up to the
whole, "fighting the good fight" mentality. He's always
trying to seek justice, prove wrong, pinpoint facts, find
the irony, uncover the conspiracy, etc. His brain is
infatuated with this shit. It's all part of the "holier than
thou" mindset, how he has everything "figured out" and
you should feel proud to be with such a brave man. GAG.
49. He
tells you he hates you with utter vehemence when he is
angry.

50.If you ever once, just for one second, see a frightening,
mad, staring-eyed look on his face that isn’t the result of
something at least as horrifying as him having just been
bitten by a venomous snake (i.e if you’ve just suggested
you both visit some friends of yours) then no matter how
fleeting it was or how deeply you think you care for him,
either run for the hills or change the locks (depending on
whose house it is). Ignore this one and it could cost you
your life.

51.He demands sex on the first date, and when you

repeatedly refuse it, he replies that he won't take no for
an answer, and asks repeatedly what he has to do to make
you change your mind.

52.He wants to have sex when you are sick, with no regard
for how you feel. These are the same kinds of people who
will tell you that they require sex or a sexual act daily to
be fulfilled, with no regard for their partner's state of
mind or arousal.

53.His favorite subject is how oppressed he is by the world,

and how all these feminists and liberated women who
always turn him down have damaged his self-concept and
made life so hard for him.
54.He has a litany of stories regarding "ex's" that have
screwed him over.

55.Facts change within stories - he tells you one thing and

twenty minutes later tells you another.

56.Over 30 with no car, no phone (cell or otherwise) and/or a

history of changing residences and/or jobs multiple times
in the last year.

57.Tells you grandiose stories of past experiences that don't

seem to fit together.

58.On the first date, he tells you he thinks he could fall in

love with you, and/or wants to marry you and he'll
convert to your religion because "you are the one", etc...

59.Despite his obvious mental angst [or perhaps because of

it...] he completely rejects the idea of professional therapy
as a sham, preferring to confide in YOU, because, well,
YOU are so much better at understanding him and his
troubled life than some overpaid professional "quack."
60.He/she has an elevated tension level consistently. Tries to
paint the inability to relax as a positive character trait.

61.He/she always has an "agenda". Does not sincerely listen

to anything that diverts attention from the agenda, and
quickly shifts conversation back to his/her goal(s),
without addressing the other person's concerns.

62.He says things like "I see in you the woman you can be
(/become)", in combination with his love declarations.
(This sounds very romantic in the beginning, as if he
wants to help you grow, or develop, or god knows what
you make of it, but in fact it means: I see flaws in how you
are now and I am going to do something about "fixing"
you)

63.He immediately starts sucking up to your friends and

trying to become buddies with them. I am not saying
being nice to them, I mean trying to establish his OWN
close relationship with them. (In the beginning easily
taken for 'nice': he wants to be a part of my life, but in
fact a means to have better control -e.g. make you start
doubting them later if he wants to alienate you from
them, to make you more dependent on him, and to
prevent you from having someone to talk to about
problems with him (friends don't want to get "caught in
the middle"). Manipulators try to get close to YOUR
friends in order to feed misinformation behind the scenes,
so that they come off looking like martyrs when they pull
the rug out.
64.They have had a chemical dependency problem in the
past. Addicts usually replace one addiction with another,
if they ever leave on addiction behind at all. Alcohol
today, porn tomorrow.

65.Men who have juvenile hobbies such as comic book or

action figure collections. This is a huge sign that they're
not all the way grown up.

66.Men who take a casual touch football or video game and

turn it into a major competitive event complete with
"psych-out" insults and verbal baiting. Later, when
feelings are hurt, he will say that the object of this fierce
competitiveness was "hypersensitive" or just a sore loser
crybaby.

67.You assert some perfectly normal, basic right of yours,

for example to not lend him your car for a week or
something, and he acts very shocked and hurt, and tells
you that YOU ARE VERY SELFISH. 99.9% of the time,
when a person tells you YOU are selfish, it is because you
are refusing to give in to some unreasonable, selfish
demand of theirs. They will try this with any aspect of life
where you assert yourself as a separate independent
person - such things as going back to school, having your
own bank account, going out with your friends without
him, etc. are "selfish" since they are not about him or his
"needs."
68.He/she tries to enlist your help in getting revenge on or
publicly embarrassing his/her ex.

69.He/she enlists your friends and family to get you back

after a fight or break up.

70.The answer to any relationship problem you have is

resolved in bed.

71.He and you grew up differently- him from a traditional

"old world" style family- and you a "Americanized"
family- and he wants you to behave/dress/talk more
conservative (like his mother- a lifelong homemaker).

72.He breaks up with you "for your own good", using

excuses like "you will be miserable with me" or "you
need to be free" or "you aren't ready for sex", then he
begs for you to come back.

73.He does something REALLY inconsiderate and/or

discourteous, and no matter how calmly you try to talk to
him about it, he JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO
UNDERSTAND why you are hurt or upset. You find
yourself having to explain concepts of basic courtesy to
him. He insists that you are overreacting, being too
 sensitive, or uses some other implication that there must
be something wrong with you. Even if he DOES
apologize, you leave the conversation never really feeling
like things were actually resolved. Never feeling like he
really understood or accepted that his actions were
inappropriate or hurtful.

74.He says things like "I just want to be good for someone. I
just want to be good for YOU." Don't let it tug at your
heart-strings. Don't think it means he's REALLY
working on his stuff - it means he's so filled with self-hate
that he's been an ass to everyone else in his past, and he
thinks that he can feel good about himself if he finds the
"right" woman. He's searching for salvation through
YOU instead of working on his shit himself, and it won't
work. It didn't work in the past with all the other women
and you are just another kick at the can for him.

75.He says things like, "If I can't make it work with you, I
don't think I can make it work with anyone...", trying to
emotionally manipulate you into feeling sorry for him, so
you'll stay around when he is clearly behaving like an ass.

76.He sits in the car, honking the horn, or starts to drive

away, while you are still in the house/apartment, trying to
get ready to go out. He knows you aren't ready yet, but he
goes out to the car anyway. He gets angry and frustrated
if you aren't ready the instant HE is. Your life is expected
to run on HIS schedule.
77.On the subject of running your life on HIS schedule, You
are expected to wake up when HE does, and go to bed
when HE does. If you stay up late or sleep in, he sulks or
takes off without leaving any indication of where he has
gone. He may "forget" the two of you made plans for that
day, or go do the activity you planned to do together, with
someone else.

78.Something about him "creeps out" or unnerves other

friends or family members.

79.He just *leaves* a party or function you went to with

him, without telling you (or anyone else) he is leaving, or
where he is going.

80.He drops subtle or not-so-subtle hints about how

"perfect" he thinks he is, or what a great catch others
have said he is, and how "lucky" you are to have him.
Unfortunately, with this guy, you will never be able to live
up to his impossible standards.

81.He tells you how his previous girlfriend (the one he

dumped for you) says the two of you won't last
(attempting to hook you into trying to prove her wrong).
82.He sulks or acts like a sullen jerk if you ask him to attend
function with you that he doesn't want to attend, or if you
don't want to leave early, when HE does. He is incapable
of being mature about it and just figuring out how to have
fun.

83.He goes to a movie or play or concert that YOU expressed

an interest in seeing, with someone else - deliberately
timing it so that you were unavailable to attend.

84.He makes joking insults about you in front of others

and/or in front of you.

85.He blames all his previous relationship failures on the

women he was with. He complains how they were
unstable, insensitive or just didn't understand him. If he
DOES admit that he fucked things up, he is quick to point
out that if SHE had been the *right* person for him, she
wouldn't have allowed him to fuck it up.

86.Even though he will denigrate them on the one hand, on

the other hand, he holds his previous girlfriend(s) up as
impossible standards for you to live up to.

87.He seems like "a challenge", or a "diamond in the

rough".
88.He/she talks about looking for a "soul mate" or
"someone to complete me".

89.He warns you about his previous bad behavior, and

indicates that he is "working" on it, but is not "healed"
yet. He implies that maybe only YOU can really
understand and help him overcome his past, but he's not
sure. This leaves him an "out" (an "I WARNED you"
option) when he DOES act out again.

90.He never apologizes, or he apologizes, but in an oily way

that implies that he won't make a commitment to not do it
again, or in some way implies that YOU were the cause of
the bad behavior - that you "triggered" him or "pushed
his dysfunctional buttons".

91.He has no friends of the opposite sex.

92.He has no friends period.

93.He has people he calls "friends" but he very rarely, (or

*never* calls) them, goes out with them or does anything
with them.
94.His "friends" are total flakes, crackpots and emotionally
disturbed people. (Healthy people attract Healthy friends.
Unhealthy people attract Unhealthy friends.)

95.He/She abandons his/her current "friends" at the start of

your relationship, and practically never sees them, never
does anything with them anymore - he/she is completely
focused on YOU.

96.He has no spine- lets you do whatever you want, never

says NO. Says things like, "Whatever you do." or "It's up
to you."

97.He/She doesn't take responsibility for his/her behavior-

everything is someone else's fault. Or blames all adult
mistakes on parents.

98.He thinks WWF wrestling is culture.

99.He/She gets annoyed if you want to spend time with

anyone else but him/her. Won't let you have your own
friends and starts gradually cutting you off from them.
Or insists she/he doesn't need any friends except for you.

100.He does something REALLY hurtful or inconsiderate

and when you get upset, makes a comment like, "I'm not
 responsible for your feelings". He refuses to do anything
in the way of reparation, and invalidates your feelings. He
acts cold and callous, or condescending implying that you
are overreacting or being irrational by being upset.

101.He apologizes, but keeps repeating the same hurtful

"mistakes". When you question him on this he accuses
you of "laying blame".

102.He remembers EVERY mistake you ever made, and

brings them up long after you apologized (and made
reparation), in order to justify HIS bad behavior ("Well
YOU did X... and I'm still hurting from it..."). OR he uses
those old hurts as excuses for his "depression".

103.He has a completely different recollection of "events"

than you have, and insists that YOU are the one that has
the faulty memory. Especially events where HE acted
inappropriately.

104.He is a pig in his own place, but expects that the "right
woman" will help him fix it up and keep it clean.

105.(if you are living together). He complains about the mess

in the house, and criticizes the lack of kitchen cleanliness
as if it is YOUR fault, but his own room or office is a STY.
 (Remember, it's easier to criticize the way a woman keeps
a kitchen than it is to admit you are a misogynist.)

106.(for guys in their 30's and 40's) He has NO relationship

with his ex-partners, in fact, they want NOTHING to do
with him. If he isn't friends with at least a couple of his
ex-partners (especially the long-term significant ones),
and talks with them socially periodically (over more than
issues with their kids), then watch out.

107.He is uncomfortable with you talking to his former

girlfriends/partners/spouses.

108.(According to him) all or many of his former girlfriends

are "nuts" or emotionally unbalanced. Watch out for the
"I did this bad thing, BUT... SHE brought it out in me....
and I won't be that way with you..." or worse... the "I'm
not sure if I won't do this again, but with the RIGHT
woman to BELIEVE in me..."

109.He seems like a "lost puppy" in need of care. (Get help

for yourself for even being attracted.)

110.He has ANY history of childhood abuse (abusive parents

or siblings), ESPECIALLY (but not limited to) sexual
abuse, and he hasn't been in YEARS of therapy (and I
mean YEARS - like a decade or more, depending on his
 age), working through his issues. Men who were abused
have a very strong tendency to become abusers. It takes
many many years of therapy to overcome this, if they can
at all. And when they start therapy, they often get worse
before they get better. Manipulative men who have been
in therapy for only a year or so or are probably at the
WORST stage to get involved with.

111.He/She is on the rebound - i.e. less than 1.5 years after a

major breakup from a long-term relationship.

112.
113.He's seeing someone else (and he is intimate with them)
and he falls for you. It may seem very flattering, but he'll
only do the same thing to you later. It's a sick pattern and
it ISN'T going to stop with YOU.
114.
115.He tells you all the ways you are alike and seems to find
more similarities with each passing day - he's setting you
up. He's "mirroring" you to be more attractive. It's
another abuser/controller pattern.
116.
117.He/She wants to get married before you have known
each other for more than 1-2 years and haven't even lived
together yet. It takes at least 1.5yrs for the "hormone
rush" of infatuation to wear off, and the true colours to
start to emerge, depending on how quickly you
individuate away from the "joined at the hip" phase.
118.
119.He starts doing things incongruent with the person you
THOUGHT you first got to know. People are always on
their best behavior during the "courtship" phase. If that
 behavior starts to degrade and change into little nasty
digs, or lies, or other forms of abuse, DITCH him before
it gets worse. Don't wait around hoping the the guy you
first fell in love with is going to resurface - that was
obviously a False Image designed to hook you.
120.
121.He/She takes pride in how he/she "screwed over" the ex
financially in the divorce.
122.
123.He renegs on or "forgets" any financial agreement the
two of you had - such as to share the rent on a basement
apartment you both worked on to fix up.
124.
125.He insists that you remain financially independent and
then complains when you can't afford the same level of
entertainment and travel that HE can.
126.
127.He seems "too good to be true" - he probably IS (not
TRUE, that is).
128.
129.He is constantly "down" and has a variety of excuses -
his back hurts, he doesn't get enough light, you are
keeping him awake at night so he doesn't get enough
sleep, he hasn't had enough to eat that day, etc.
130.
131.He suffers from some kind of chronic pain, such as back
pain, but refuses to get any treatment for it, and then uses
it as an excuse for why he is irritable, inconsiderate and
even nasty.
132.
133.He continually rejects your ideas for things to do, (dates)
places to go, etc.
134.
135.He "forgets" critical things that he has KNOWN for
years, like the fact that you are allergic to feathers (and
buys a feather comforter for the bed, or a feather pillow).
136.
137.You *clearly* and openly state your expectations and
needs, in a calm and caring fashion, you are told that you
are being "controlling" or "manipulative" or "too
sensitive".
138.
139.He tells snide joking insults about you in front of others.
If you complain, he says it was all in fun and you are just
being too sensitive.
140.
141.You are moving out of the infatuation phase and find
yourself having to constantly reassure him that you love
him and will be there, simply because you are no longer
spending every waking minute (outside of work) with
him. He continually complains about the lack of
"intensity" in your relationship and implies that YOU are
the one responsible for not keeping it up.
142.
143.He used to be completely interested in anything you had
to say, and now starts showing disinterest in topics that
interest you, to the point of rudeness. He won't even listen
out of politeness or courtesy. Complains that you don't
talk about HIM enough, or listen to HIM enough, and
that what you are interested in, isn't interesting to HIM.
Expects YOU, however to be interested in ANYTHING
*he* is interested in.
144.
145.You have to keep proving yourself worthy of his
attention or love. You get attention withdrawn if you ask
for responsible behavior or in any way indicate that you
were not happy with something he did.
146.
147.He tells you many or all of his deep dark secrets, early
on. It seems like he is really sensitive and opening up to
you. This is often a tactic that manipulators use to get you
to think that YOU are so special that they can only open
up like that to YOU. It's just a technique. They do it with
EVERYONE. They also do it to "cover" for their
previous bad behavior, - if they TELL you about it, it
MUST mean they are working on it and won't do it
again... (though they NEVER ACTUALLY SAY THAT...
they imply it heavily). The goal is to cover their tracks in
case you happen to hear something from anyone else - this
ensures that they have good cover story well in hand, as
well as giving them the advantage of already convincing
you of THEIR version before anyone else can get you.
And the act of telling you about their bad behavior in the
past will become a great caveat/excuse in future if they
enact it on you - "well I TOLD you I was a manipulator,
and that I was TRYING to change..." the implication
being that you just weren't SPECIAL enough, after all...
or that you aren't trying hard enough... Watch what they
DO, not what they say.
148.
149.He/she continually wants to discuss "the relationship",
and is always finding problems or faults with it, and/or
starts insisting/implying that all the relationship problems
are YOUR fault.
150.
151.He/She puts on a *very* different demeanor, a different
personna, when at work or with another group of people.
He/she seems to be a chameleon depending on who they
are with - instead of being one *real* person. If
questioned, gets defensive and insists that they just have
many "facets" to their personality, implying that you just
don't fully "accept" them as they are.
152.He uses money to win influence and/or get attention, not
because he is genuinely altruistic or generous in nature -
for example, he drops hundreds or thousands of dollars
on "donations" to charitable organizations (so he can get
VIP status at their functions), but won't loan you his $5
beat-up old backpack.

153.She doesn't eat.

154.He's in a real hurry to get married, right now, right

away!

155.He's an ex-con. For some women, this still isn't enough,

for some reason.

156.Over 30 and still living at home.

157.His/her whole social life revolves around his/her parents.

158.On the first date, already talks about marriage or kids.

(This is even out on the 2nd or 3rd date)
159.After only one or two dates, gets overly possessive. Calls
constantly, sends gifts, shows up at work.

160.His entire wardrobe consists of clothes from trade shows

like Comdex, bearing the logos of software and gaming
companies.

161.He stockpiles weapons.

162.He has kids with various women and never sees them.

163.He/She has long history of getting involved with losers,

deadbeats, drug addicts.

164.She still calls her mother every time she has to make a
major life decision.

165.He/she says things like "you're everything to me. I can't

live without you."

166.Everyone hates him- your friends, your parents, even

your dog.
167.He/she is under 23 and has already been married and
divorced and has kids.

168.He/she can't hold a job for more than three months.

169.He shows signs of pennypinching. For example, a guy

who only goes to the rep theatre because he has a special
card, and then won't even buy a popcorn but eats out of
your container all night and shares your soda. Then won't
even go out for a beer after, even if it's a weekend. His
clothes are ten years old or more.

170.He uses "bitch" as a term of endearment.

171.He supports his driving under the influence of drugs

and alcohol with the phrase, "I'm a professional!" (The
fact that drugs are present should be red flag anyway, but
not everyone feels that way.)

172.He goes out of his way to be rude and condescending to

waitstaff and gets a kick out of their discomfort.

173.He refuses to wear a condom and supports his argument

against condoms by saying, "I never wear them."
 174.He tells you not to get "illusions of grandeur" in regard
to marrying him.

175.Sports programs preempt visits with his children on a

regular basis.

176.This is a big one: HE DOWNPLAYS AND DEGRADES

ALL OF THE "RULES" PEOPLE FOLLOW WHEN
DATING. HE COMPLAINS THAT WOMEN ALWAYS
MAKE MEN JUMP THROUGH HOOPS. HE FOCUSES
ON THESE TWO IN MOST CONVERSATIONS FROM
THE FIRST DATE ON. His way of getting around the
rules is to repeat, "Ours isn't a conventional relationship.
We're not like all of those other people out there who have
to have boundaries."

FROM : http://www.heartless-bitches.com/rants/manipulator/redflaglist.shtml