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Katherine Posada
Professor Beadle
English 113A
8 December 2015
Societies Sole Expectations
From birth we are given a specific sex whether it be female or male. Once
categorized in that sex we have to follow certain expectations and rules that each gender
adheres to. Many people are trapped behind closed doors not expressing who they want
to be because they are afraid of the criticism theyll receive if they do. Many people in
society have gotten so used to these gender roles placed on women and men that they are
very closed minded and will annihilate anyone who does. In the book Composing Gender
by Rachael Groner and John F OHara, both discuss the importance of gender roles in the
text. Throughout the book there are several articles discussing the topic of gender, but
two articles in particular are similar which are Night To His Day by Judith Lorber and
No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That by Emily W. Kane because they discuss
how society shapes individuals to fit a certain gender. The article, Night to His Day by
Judith Lorber discusses how many people in society are judged solely on their looks. For
example, such as their appearance or the way they act. It explains the difference between
sex and gender and how it plays a role in todays world. For example, sex refers to the
biological characteristics one possesses and gender refers to the roles, behaviors and
expectations society has.
Furthermore, society plays a big part in gender roles because if it werent for
society, people wouldnt be worrying about looking a certain way. People have always
been judged by society, it addresses the topic of always having to look a certain way and

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act the part youre given. Acting feminine if youre a female or vise versa, acting
masculine if youre a male. Through out my life I have seen others being criticized
because of what people wear, look, and act if their gender is identified. Throughout my
experience, both my friends and family have judged me on of what I wear and how I
look. For example, I remember wearing baseball Ts and baseball caps in my teen years
and always getting criticized for wearing masculine clothing. Being different in this
world is something that is not allowed and is something that is considered wrong for
many and stop judging people. Gender roles must be followed or you are the outcast of
society.
Another familiar article is No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That by
Emily W. Kane which also addresses a similar topic to gender however the parents are the
ones that have preferences to how they want there child to come out. If they have a girl
they want them to act feminine and continue to play their role as with boys, they want
them to act masculine. Kane states In my study, mothers and fathers expressed these
kinds of efforts to accomplish gender differently for their sons with similar frequency, but
mothers tended to express them greater certainty, while fathers were less enthusiastic and
more likely to include caveats(Kane, 92). This shows how parents are always concerned
for their childrens outcome as an individual. I can relate to this because in my childhood
their was many times when I had to wear a certain type of clothing in order to fit in with
my parents standards. My mother would dress me as my gender, which in this case was
pink for being a girl and acting like one too. For instance, every time I would wear a
dress for any special occasion I would be mandated to cross my legs and sit and act like a
lady. These roles are addressed by our parents and are taught by our own role models.

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Learning from others about gender roles is gender construction and it starts with
children learning about gender in a young age. Thus in the future when someone breaks a
gender role they are influenced to think that it is strange or simply taboo. However, There
are many situations in life where there is many gender roles being a part of everyones
daily lives and are being broken.
Nevertheless, parents are acting as society wants them to because they to want to
categorize their kids into the sex they are given. Parents have the fear of their kids being
homosexual but have a bigger fear if it was with their boys. Surprisingly most parents
have a problem with the males being homosexual and not acting their gender. In the
article No Way my Boys Are Going to Be Like That by Emily W. Kane, she discusses
how even a range of activities and attributes are reported as negative if boys are seen with
feminine things such as toys and clothes. Kane states , Spontaneous connections of
gender nonconformity and sexual orientation were not evident in parents about daughters,
nor among gay and lesbian parents, buy arose 7 of the 27 heterosexual parents who were
discussing sons(Kane, 95). Parents are always going to be more concerned with the idea
that their boy might turn out to be a homosexual and are always going to more disturbed
with the idea that is wrong to be gay and should never be something that their family
should go through. The fact is that many times parents have a high expectation of their
kids and their children shouldnt be afraid of talking to their parents about their sexuality,
scared of their parents rejection. Gender has always been a subject that both articles refer
to throughout the text and discuss the topic of the roles one should surpass in becoming
one in society.

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In the article Night to His Day by Judith Lorber she discuss how society has
shaped many by constantly creating and re-creating the human interaction(Lorber,19).
Lorber is discussing how society always put us individuals in some expectation and
every once in a while that expectation gets changed. For example, in the 1900s being gay
was never accepted from society however now in the 20th century being gay is barley
being accepted by few. Societies expectations change in threw out the years and just
fitting in is really difficult sometimes. Lorber states how every girl or boy is classified
into categories and is given a certain role to play. An example in the article Night to
His Day by Judith Lorber makes is an example of riding the train and seeing a baby
wearing a white crocheted cap and white clothes. You could not tell whether it was a girl
or boy. The child in the stroller was wearing a dark blue T-shirt and dark print pants. As
they started to leave the train, the father then put a Yankees hat on the childs head,
making it more difficult to tell the gender. Then as theyre walking off the gleam of tiny
earrings in the childs ears and little flowered sneakers and trimmed socks. Making the
child a girl and not a boy after all.(Lorber 19) Many times society has a way of getting
to people in a way that makes us judge gender by there appearances.
In the article No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That by Emily W. Kane
discuss how parents want their children to be fit into society and conform to their gender.
Kane explains how parents have preference toward males and wants them to not become
homosexuals. Kane states they reported allowing or encouraging traditionally girls toys
such as dolls, doll houses, kitchen centers and tea sets(Kane 91). They consider
themselves failures as parents if their children ever become homosexuals especially with
males. Kane discusses the way the parents allow their boys to play with specific kind of

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toys. They could either play with trucks and soldiers however it does not look right for a
male to play with Barbies and girl toys. These are the typical concerns the parents had to
accomplish gender with their sons about gender roles and their sons. One example of
such a response was Hes asked about wearing girl clothes before, and I said noHe
likes pink, and I try not to encourage him to like pink just because, you know, hes not a
girl(Kane 93). All these specific gender roles are put into peoples heads all because
society has a huge impact on many individuals and categorize people into their proper
gender. Many people argue that gender roles should not be broken and should be kept the
same because theyve been and stayed the same for as long as they can remember and if
these gender roles werent specified then our society as we know it would have no order.
Despite that many believe that changing gender roles is against the norm change is
actually a good thing because we help other have an open mind which leads those hiding
behind gender roles be true to themselves and not following what others consider to be
normal.
I argue that society does have a huge impact on people and that it can be a
dangerous thing because many times people do not wish to come out and say whom they
really are. Gender is displayed as something that shows who you are as a person and
whether youre female, male or transsexual you can always break from the status quo and
be who you are and express who you want to be as an individual. The idea of society
constructing people to become who they are is what effects peoples identities. As
children develop and become who they wish to be, they find out that breaking gender
roles isnt always bad. Instead it should be looked at as something that makes you
different from the rest in society.

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Work Cited
Lorber, Judith, and Emily W. Kane. ""Night to His Day": The Social Construction of
Gender/"No Way My Boys Are Going to Be like That":Parents Responses to Children's
Gender Nonconformity." Composing Gender. By Rachael Groner and John F. O'Hara.
New Jersey: Richard Stockton College of New Jersey