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MatthewKniest
ProfessorJonBeadle
English115
17September2015
StartThemYoung
Intraditionalsociety,peopletrytoidentifythemselvesataveryearlyage.Inthearticles,
EvenNineMonthOldsChooseGenderSpecificToysandthearticle,NoWayMyBoysAre
GoingtoBeLikeThatdiscusshowparentstrytoinfluencetheirchildrenintofollowingtheir
ownviewsonhowboysandgirlsshouldact.FrompersonalexperienceinmyfamilyIknow
howparentstrytoinstilltheirthinkingandideasintochildrenabouthowtheyshouldberaisedto
bemasculineorfeminine,butitdoesnotalwaysaffectthechildasitisevidentastheygrowup.
Mycousin,whoisaboy,alwaysplayedwithboytoysbutgrowingupandnowbeinganadulthe
doesnotviewhimselfasamanbutrathermorefeminine.Althoughparentstrytoinfluence
childrenintofollowingcertaingenderroles,itwillnotdeterminehowtheyidentifythemselves
lateroninlife.
Earlyoninlife,childrenarebeinggiventoysselectedbytheirparentsandarebeingtold
thattheylikethemandarenotgiventhechancetospeakup.Itiscommonlyknownthatthe
youngmindiseasilyinfluencedandthisprincipleisbeingappliedbyparentsandusingiton
todaysyouth,especiallynewbornstohelppromoteapropermasculineorfemininebehavior.In
thearticle,EvenNineMonthOldsChooseSpecificToyswrittenbyJenniferGoodwin,
explainshowkidsarealreadybornwithacertainconnotationtolikespecificgenderissuedtoys.
Goodwindescribesastudyshowingthat,certainstereotypicalgenderpreferencestakerooteven


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beforemostkidscancrawl(Goodwin88).Goodwinpresentsthisissuebecauseintodaysworld
mostkidsaregiventoysandtoldtolikethem.Childrenarebeingshutdownfromtheideaof
oppositegendertoysbecausetheirguardianswantthemtogrowupaspecificway.Children
growuplikingcertainthingswithoutbeingtoldwhetheritissociallyacceptableorcorrectbut
justbecausekidslikecertaintoysdoesnotmakethemanylessaboyorgirl.Parentsbeingthe
onlyguidanceinayoungchildslifewillbethemajorfactorinhowthechildgrowsup.
However,certainactivitiesandtoysmightrepresentthechildatthetime,itwillnotalwaysbe
themostaccuraterepresentationofthatindividual.Ifaboyplayswithdollsandkitchensetsit
doesnotmakehimanylessofgrowinguptobeaman.Itisimportanttonotjumpinto
conclusionsregardingonesidentityonlybasingitofftoysasanadolescentbecausetheyhave
moretimetomatureandtomakeacleardecisiononwhethertheyplayamoremasculineor
feminineroleinsocietywithoutthehelpofaparent.
Beingaboyitisexpectedtoplaywithcarsandarmymenwhilegirlsplaywithdollsand
playdressup,butwhathappensiftheinterestsswitchesandboysandgirlsplaywithopposite
gendertoysandactivities?Inthearticle,NoWayMyBoysAreGoingtoBeLikeThatwritten
byEmilyKane,bringsawarenessofanissueparentsacrossthegloberunintoeverynowand
again.Childrenthroughouttheirincipientyearswillshowslightphaseswheretheyareinterested
inoppositegenderactivitiesandlikings.Parentshaveaspecificwayofraisingtheirowninto
fittingnormalrolesthattheygrewupknowingfromtheirparents.Itisinevitableforaboyto
playwithgirltoysandviceversa.Kanegivesanexampleofamotherssonwholikedpinkand
handledthesituationbysaying,heaskedaboutwearinggirlclothes,andIsaidno(Kane93).
Themotherdefendsherdecisionbystating,Itrynottoencouragehimtolikepinkjustbecause,


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youknow,hesnotagirl(93).Afterreadingthistheideathatifaboylikesthecolorpink,it
makeshimagirl.Isitreallypracticalandlogicaltobaseachildsgenderoffacolor.Thecolor
pinkisusuallyassociatedwithgirlsbutthatdoesnotmeanitisthedecidingfactorofones
identity.Parentsonlyrejectthisideatoprotectthewellbeingoftheirchildbutthisdoesnot
promoteahealthyrelationshipanddiscouragesselfawareness.Childrenshouldbeallowedto
likeandbeinterestedinwhateverpleasesthemlikebecauseeveryoneeventuallygrowsand
developes.Atthetimehisfavoritecolorcouldbepinkbutgrowingupthatcouldchange.Evenif
hisfavoritecolorisbluehisidentitycouldchangewithage.Lettingachildlikeandbeinterested
incertainthingsshouldbeallowedbecauseitdoesnotsignifywhotheyareanditwillchangeno
matterwhatwithtimeandaging.
Itiscommonlyknownthatcertaintoysaremadespecificallyforcertaingenders,maleor
female.Althoughitmightbeintendedforaspecificaudience,itdoesnothavelabelssaying,
OnlyforBoysorOnlyforGirlsdoesit?Severalarguethatboysandgirlsshouldplaywith
certaintoysotherwisetheywillgrowuptobedifferentandidentifydifferently.Thatcouldnot
befurtherfromthetruth.Inmypersonalexperiencestoysdonotmakeorbreakaperson.WhenI
wasayoungboyIoftenplayedwithArmyMenandHotWheelsbutoneofmyfavoritetoyswas
aNYSYNC(popularboybandinthe90sandearly2000s),JoeyFatonedoll.Iplayedwiththis
dolleverydayuntilIlosthimatagaragesale.Afterplayingwiththistoyforovereightyearsand
bringingthisdolleverywhere,ithadnoeffectonmeasnotknowinghowtoidentifymyself.
Severalyearslater,Istillseemyselfasaheterosexulmale.Notoncedidmysexualidentityor
genderchangeduetoatoyIhadasakid.Letkidsbekidsandplaywithwhattheywant.


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Inadditiontomypersonallifeplayingwithoppositegendertoys,Ihavebeenexposedto
anotherscenariowheretoysdonotdefinethechild.AcousininmyfamilyandIwereboth
dominantmalesinthefamily.Weenjoyedplayingsports,gettingdirty,andplayingArmyMen.
HeisayearyoungerthanmeandIwasalwaysarolemodelinhiseyes.Iwouldgivehimlife
adviceongirlfriends,friends,andotherproblemsinhislife.Overtheyearsandnowjustayear
awayfrombeingalegaladult,asmallpartofhislifechanged.Awhilebackhecameoutsaying
heishomosexualandhadnointerestingirlsandwouldratherbeseenasone.FirstreactionI
wasabsolutelyshocked.ThesamekidwhoIplayedbaseball,paintball,andHotWheelswithis
nowhomosexual.Iwasnotdisappointedinhimoranythingofthatnature.Isupportedhimas
everyoneshould.AtafirsthandexperienceIsawasexchangehappen.Weplayedwithboytoys
anddidboythingsbutnowgrownandmaturedhewantstobeseendifferently.Toysdonot
makethechildandidentity.
Thereisacommonexpressionthatsays,changecomeswithtimeandthatcouldnotbe
moreaccurate.Playingwithtoysorplayingsportsorhavingcertaininterestscanallchangewith
time.Societyhasthecommonmisconceptionthethingswedodefineusasapersonbutnothing
definesusuntilwedousmeaningthatonceweseeforourselvesknowwhoweareasan
individual,onlythencanwebeidentifiedmaleorfemale.Parentstrytoinfluencetheir
childrensmindsintothinkingsinceIamboyorgirlIhavetolikethiscertaintoyorhavethis
certaininterest.Nothingasachildcandefinethem.Overtimechildrensmindsandself
awarenesschange.Parentsshouldbemorelenientonwhattheyallowtheirchildrentodoand
playwith.Afterall,parentswanttheirchildrentogrowupandbeindependentbuthowcan


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childrendothatifparentsaredecidingeverythingforthem.Ittakescouragetogrowupand
becomewhoyoureallyare.


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WorksCited
Goodwin,Jennifer."NoWayMyBoysAreGoingtoBeLikeThat."
ComposingGender
(2014):9199.Print.
Kane,Emily."EvenNineMonthOldsChooseGenderSpecificToys."
Composing
Gender
(2014):9199.Print.