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Love Systems Insider

Date: September 2009

In this issue:

• Don’t Waste Your Time with Instant Dates


• Answers to just about ANY questions

Don’t Waste Your Time with Instant Dates

- By Soul, Love Systems Senior Instructor

Soul is well known as the world’s #1 Day Game expert. One of the things that makes him so
good – and such a good teacher – is that he doesn’t repeat conventional wisdom. He tests it and
he challenges it. While he’s saving a lot of his breakthroughs for the Super Conference, this
seemed like something that should go out right away.

- NS

Most people will tell you that when you’re approaching women during the day (Day Game), you
should work for an instant date. An instant date is where you go for a coffee or some kind of
mini-date with a woman immediately after having met her.

This is because instant dates supposedly let you move quicker, build comfort, and reduce
flakiness. In fact, if you haven’t read my original Day Walking article then that’s a great start.

I used to think this as well. But, it’s wrong. Even if you first meet her during the day, you should
make the “date” at night.

Chances are that an instant date during the day won’t get physical. Part of this is logistics: she is
probably in the middle of errands, on her break from work, or in between meetings. You may
well be busy too. For most people, the evening is when they have the majority of their
downtime, and it’s more likely she’ll be able to spend a couple of hours on a date or getting
intimate with you then.
Then there’s the psychology of sex. Most people associate nightfall with intimacy. Therefore, if
you want to spend time with a woman with the possibility of sleeping with her, you should
arrange for that time to be in the evening. Check out the Female Psychology interview recorded
by me and Savoy for some in-depth detail.

The final factor is that women like the element of mystery, the feeling of not knowing exactly
what is going to happen. If you spend a couple of hours with a woman in the afternoon taking a
long walk through the park or chatting over coffee, a lot of that mystery is gone.

Suddenly, she knows a lot about you and you’ve become that “really interesting guy she spent an
afternoon chatting with” instead of the guy she met up with in the evening and went home with.

Of course, there are always going to be exceptions. It certainly is possible to meet a woman in
the middle of the afternoon and take her home before nightfall. It’s also possible to go on instant
dates that last until nightfall and then take her home. But, these are exceptions rather than the
rule. Logistics are another factor that can get in the way, but have a listen to this interview with
Johnny Wolf and me for some great tips on how to get past challenges and take her home.

In most cases, your best bet for securing a solid date and for not wasting your time is to spend
five minutes building a connection based on Attraction and Qualification (see the Love Systems
Triad if you don’t know what these are), then set up a date for that evening or an evening
sometime soon.

While I’m not suggesting instant dates should never be tried, there shouldn’t be too much
expectation that this method is always going to work. They’re certainly good for showing you
what’s possible - that you can go on a random date with a woman you’ve just met in the middle
of the day. But, instant dates should be a feather in your cap rather than the arrows in your
quiver.

These ideas have come from my continued experimentation, which is really important in
developing any skill. So, I invite you to experiment; if you have never tried instant dates, try
going on a few, and if you usually do a lot of them, try avoiding them completely. See what
happens.

Jeremy Soul

Check out Soul’s bio and get more info on Day Game at Love Systems. Soul covers much more
in the live workshop.
Answers to just about ANY questions

If you’ll forgive a little autobiographical detour before we get to the main dish here...

As I’ve said a number of times both here and on my blog, I wasn’t “naturally” good with
women. Until about ten years ago, I’m pretty sure I was worse than you’ve ever been. It took a
lot of work and a commitment to getting this part of my life handled.

A big part of the problem was that most of the advice I got back then was... garbage. I started at
the bookstore. A popular self-help book told me “Don’t try to meet women in nightclubs. The
competition is too hard.” It was written by a single guy in his late fifties, who had clearly given
up.

Well, okay then. Option #1: Give up.

So, I went online. I found some weird old guy telling guys to point at their penises a lot while
saying “hap-penis” instead of “happiness” and “blow me” instead of “below me.” Supposedly
that hypnotizes women into wanting you. [I’m seriously not making this up.] Sure.

Option #2: Be really, really creepy.

So, I set off on my own. I learned, with the help of a few people doing the same thing, through
trial and error. It wasn’t very efficient, but there wasn’t another choice.

(Cue old grandfather voice: “Back in MY day... it was a hundred degrees and snowing every
day, and we had to walk uphill BOTH WAYS to school. And there was no Magic Bullets. No
Routines Manual. No Attraction Forums... you kids today have it so easy.”)

When it started to “click,” we knew we had something we wanted to share. Picking up beautiful
women IS something that almost any man can learn. There IS a system you can follow to get
success.

(And you don’t to give up, or be creepy.)


So, I started writing a popular newsletter (which became this LSi you’re reading now) which
grew and grew, and then I wanted to put the basic system into a book. I called it Magic Bullets,
and the rest is history.

Except it’s not, really. On the advice of... well, just about everyone, I cut the original draft of
Magic Bullets from its original 500+ pages down to 200.

“You can’t cover every possible situation in one book,” they said. “No one will ever read it
all. You’re supposed to be writing a book, not an encyclopedia.”

So, I cut and cut and cut. Now there are twenty pages on Attraction, for example, that go over
attraction techniques like cold reads, embedded stories, teasing, and so on, where there used to
be twenty pages on each of these. And so on down the line. I’m glad I did it, because it made it a
better book (as now over 100 reviews indicate).

But, we lost something. We lost that infinite detail.

That’s why we started the interview series. It’s hard to keep writing 20 pages on a new topic
every month, but it’s not that hard to get a few experts in the room, talk about everything
relating to one issue for a few hours, and then boil it down to its best 60 minutes.

That way, every month we can have one new off-the-shelf expert’s guide to one specific subject
– in more detail and with more examples than you’ll find anywhere.

Which brings me to my question to you...

We just recorded interview #50 (though only 44 have been released so far). I think we’re getting
there. Maybe we’ll do 100 and then stop.

So, here’s my challenge to you – what questions or topics AREN’T covered here that you want
to see?

Take care,
Savoy
http://www.lovesystems.com/dating-advice/waste-time-instant-dates

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