VanessaRuiz

ProfessorDitch
English113A
28September2014
Parentscontrolovergender
Everyoneslifehasbeenaffectedbygenderatapoint.Genderisoftenmisunderstood
andgetscomparedtosex.ButGenderandsexarecompletelydifferent.Forexamplesexis
femaleormaleandgenderismasculineandfeminine.Genderishowweexpressourselvesor
ourperformanceandsexisbiological.InJudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHisDay:TheSocial
ConstructionofGenderandinClaireRenzettiandDanielCurransarticleFromWomen,
Men,andSocietyTheauthorsdiscussthatparentspropeltheirchildrentofollowthegender
rolesthatsocietyhasconstructed.Societysetsgenderroleswhichmayincludeformalestoact
masculineandfemalestoactfeminine.
InJudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHisDay:TheSocialConstructionofGenderShe
explainsthatchildrenareplacedinasexcategorybytheirlooksoftheirgenitaliabutgenderis
givenbysociety.Thegenderprocessstartswhentheparentsnameanddresstheinfant.The
childisbornasafemaleormalefortheirsexbutisgivenfeminineormasculineasagender.
Societyhasconstructedgenderrolesthatweshouldfollow.Tobenormalinthecommunity,
malesshouldactmasculineandfemalesshouldactfeminine.Ifsomeonehappenstoreconstruct
theroles,theywouldbecomeanonconformistinsociety.Forexample,Ifaboyactsmore
femininethanmasculine,hewouldbeindangerofbeingdefinedasahomosexualorbelessofa
man.Parentspursuetheirchildrentoactacertaingendertofitinthecommunity.

InClaireRenzettiandDanielCurransarticleFromWomen,Men,andSocietysharea
commonthemeasJudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHisDay:TheSocialConstructionof
Genderclaimingthatparentshavecontrolovertheirchildsgender.ClaireRenzettiandDaniel
Curransupportstheirargumentbydiscussingthatparentsuseclothingtoshowthedifference
betweenmaleandfemale.Themotherdressesherdaughterwithadressandabowinherhair
whileshedresseshersoninjeans,ateeshirtandabaseballhat.Someparentshavecontrolofthe
childsattireformanyyearsandsomeparentskeepthatcontroltillthechildleavesthe
household.Theadolescentsareforcedtodressthewaytheirparentswantandnotthewaythey
wouldliketoexpressthemselves.Sometimesthechilddoesn'tseeanythingwrongwiththe
gendertheyareraisedwithbutsomefeelmisplacedinthegendertheyweregiven.
Genderconstructionstartssincetheverybeginningbeforethebabyisborn.Whenthe
womenfindsoutthatshespregnant.Thefirstthingeveryonewantstoknowiswhatsexitis.
Oncetheparentsknowthesexofthebaby,theyhavealltheseideasonhowtheywanttoraiseit
accordingtothesex.Theideasforthebabyboywouldincludethecolorblue,toytrucks,sports
andmainlytoughnessbutforthebabygirltheideaswouldhavepink,glitter,dressesanddolls.
Thebabyisbornintoagenderbeforetheycanevenchoose.Oncethebabyisborn,theparents
takeactiontoshowthebabysgender.Alltheparentswouldwanttheirchildtobeacisgender,
whichmeansthattheirsexmatchestheirgender.Thisiswherealltheteachingandguidance
comesin.Themotherstakethejobofteachingtheirdaughterhowtoactlikeawomanandthe
fatherteachesthesonhowtoactlikeaman.Thechildlearnsthegenderrolesfromtheir
parents.Everyparentcanteachthegenderrolesdifferently.Thearticlesclaimthatparentshave
controltheirchildren'sgenderwhichtheydo.

Oneoftheprocessofassigningagendertothebabyisthetoystheyplaywith.
Thetoystakeahugeroleinthechildrenschildhood.Theboysgrowupplayingwithtrucks,
videogamesandsportswhilethegirlsgrowupplayingwithdolls,princessesandaplastic
kitchen.Parentsalwaysremindtheirsonthatdollsareonlyforthegirlsandtellthegirlsthat
playingcarsareonlyfortheboys.Boysplaywithasimilartoytodollsbutsocietyhastakenthe
demandforthemtobenamedactionfigures.ThewordActionmakesthetoyseemmore
masculine.Bothgirlsandboyscanplaysportsbutthemalesaremoreencouragedtodoso.
Anotherprocessofassigningthechildsgenderistheirstyleofclothesandhairstylesthey
receive.Agirlismoreencouragedtowearadressandaskirt.Itssociallyacceptablethatagirl
wearjeansorpantsbuttheyareseenmoreoftomboy.Haircutsaresimilarwiththeclothing,
Insocietygirlsshouldhavelonghair.Whenagirlcutsherhairshorterthanhershoulders,she
wouldbejudgedandpeoplewouldassumethatsshesahomosexual.Girlsandboysshould
havetherighttogetanyhaircuttheywantwithoutthefearofsocietyputtinglabelsonthem.
Parentscanhavecompletecontrolovertheirchildrenbutmyparentsallowedmeto
expressmyselfinanyway.GrowingupIlookeduptomybrotherandsisteralot.Ialways
wantedtodressandactlikethem.Myparentsdidntseeanythingwrongwiththat,infactmy
parentsshoppedmatchingoutfitforallthreeofus.Ihaddresses,tanktopstomatchwithmy
sisterbutIalsohadMatchingshirtsandshoeswithmybrother.WhenIwasin6thgrade,my
brotherstartedtoskateboard,IfoundthesportamazingsoIalsoaskedmyparentsfora
skateboard.Iwasexpectingforthemtosaynobuttheyboughtmeone.Iwouldskatetoschool
withmybrotherandhisfriends.AllmyfriendswouldtellmethatskatingwasforboysbutI

didntlistentothembecauseskatingwasapassionformeandIwasntgoingtoletitgobecause
itwasamasculinesport.
Inallmychildhoodyears,ihadmyhairreallyshort,uptomyears.EveryTimeiwentto
visitmygrandmotheratthedoctor,theolderladieswouldaskmymomifiwasaboyorgirl,i
was7yearsold.Allthetimetheywouldaskmymomiwouldfeelinsecure,ilovedhowihad
myhairbutithurtmewhenpeoplewouldaskme.Iletsocietyhurtmebymyappearance,itgot
toapointwhereicouldnothandleanotherladyaskingme,ibeggedmymomtoallowmeto
piercemyearsagainsoicouldhavetwopiercingoneachears.Whenigotmyearspiercedfor
thesecondtime,lesspeopleaskedme.
InthearticleFromWomen,Men,andSocietyitstatesthatmalesaremore
encouragedtoplaysports.ButIwasfortunatetohaveparentswhowereopentoanyofmy
interest.Duringhighschool,Irancrosscountryandtrackwithmybrotherandsister.My
parentssupportedusandencouragedallofustorunandnotjustmybrother.Mymotherand
fatherwereproudthatalloftheirthreechildrenweredoingasport.Asachild,myparents
alwaystoldmethatIwouldbegoingtoauniversityandnotjustbeahousewifehowsocietysee
womenas.Injunioryear,Ihadtostartlookingintocareersforcollege,ijoinedaafterschool
classaboutengineering.Irememberthateveryonewouldtellmethattheclasswasfullofonly
boysbutmysisterandIstilljoined.Theclassstartedwith5girlsthenitdroppedtoonly3girls.
Onedayinclass,thisboysaidoutloudthatgirlsshouldntbestudyingengineeringbecauseboys
candoitbetter.Myteacherwhowasamale,gotfrustratedwithhimandexplainedhowinthe
engineeringcompanyheworks,theheadengineerhappenstobeafemale.Afterthatstitution,he
neversaidanythingaboutfemalesintheengineeringfield.Ichoosemechanicalengineeringas

mymajor.Myparentsfullysupportmeonmymajor,myfathershowsmehowtouseallthe
toolsthatIwouldbeusinginmyfutureclasses.Myfatherhasalwaysshowedmethatawomen
candothejobsthatamendo.BothmyparentsnevertookcontrolofmygenderbutImoneof
thefewluckyones.
Societyhasconstructedgenderroleswhichleadtoparentscontrollingtheirchild's
gender.Notallowingthechildrentoexpressthemselvesthewaytheywouldlike.Societyalso
leadtheconfusionwiththewordgender.Manypeopleseesexandgenderthesamebutreality
sexisbiologicalandgenderisthewayweperformorexpressourselves.Gendercanbe
masculineandfeminineandsexismaleandfemale.Societyhasconstructedrolesthatmales
shouldactmasculineandfemalesshouldactfeminine.JudithLorbersarticle,NighttoHis
Day:TheSocialConstructionofGenderandinClaireRenzettiandDanielCurransarticle
FromWomen,Men,andSocietydoanexcellentwaydemonstratinghowparentscontrolof
gender.

WorksCited

Devor,Aaron."BecomingMembersofSociety:TheSocialMeaningsofGender."Composing
Gender(2009):3545.Print.
Lorber,Judith."NighttoHisDay."ComposingGender(2009):1934.Print.