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Shehan Wijesinghe
Mrs. Gabrielsson
English 100
September 31, 2014

The Good, the Bad, My Literacy Narrative

I have never been a fan of English as a child and I am still not a fan of the subject. There
was always some aspect about my English courses that didn't come easy to me, like a math
problem. Also, I felt that English required more work, like essays, research and reading. I
developed a sour attitude towards my English classes by not giving any effort and it reflected
back on my grades. It was not until I joined my debate class and discovered books I enjoyed that
I started to appreciate literature. In my past, I have shown a growth-mindset toward my literacy
education provided the subject inspired or challenged me; however I am also critical about my
literacy education, because of a lack of motivation due to the rigidness of past schoolings.
My outlook on my English courses started to change when I joined the debate team and
found books that I thoroughly enjoyed. During my high school years, I was a part of the debate
team and I have been quite successful, ending my high school career with a couple of trophies
and a certificate from my school. I loved arguing, because the competitive, strategic, and
political elements made it challenging and exciting for me. In reality creating arguments and
organizing a opening speech is no different from writing an essay. They both still require details,
a personalized voice or delivery and structure that creates a clear flow. My family and I did not
understand this anomaly, I would refuse and fuss when I had to write an essay for English, but I
would devote myself into researching and constructing an opening speech. I then thought to
apply my thought processes and my enjoyment of writing a speech to my English essays. A

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different mindset allowed me to enjoy another subject with a history of disappointment.
According to Carol Dweck, My attitude towards my English classes in the past formed a fixedmindset, because I didn't think that I would ever improve, which is why I didn't give it any effort.
However, It was my link to my speech and debate class that broke my sour attitude and formed a
growth-mindset. Instead of believing that an essay is another tedious assignment, I took it as a
chance to apply my speech and debate literacy and make the subject challenging and enjoyable. I
expanded this new found mind set and gave books another try. I figured that there must be some
interesting or valuable knowledge within. After finding a few books and series I enjoyed, I began
to enjoy my English classes even more, similar to Ha Jin's experience as he describes in his short
story, "Arrival" how he learned to love English. He says, "I kind of gave up and avoided working
hard on my English. But in 1980, writers such as Hemingway, Faulkner, Bellow and Malamud
suddenly became immensely popular in China" (Jin). He describes that he was captivated by
these author's novels and that it inspired him to pursue his literature studies even after college.
Jin's attitude changed, because he found something he could enjoy and connect with. Like writer
Ha Jin, I too have found novels that I enjoy and connect with that changed my mindset towards
my literacy education. One of my favorite book series, "Dune" by Frank Herbert encapsulated
me when I started reading it. The deep plots and intricate characters in Herbert's world inspired
me to work harder and think critically when it came to reading books for class. In one of the
Dune novels preface, Herbert writes, "When I was writing Dune there was no room in my mind
for concerns about the book's success or failure. I was concerned only with the writing. Six years
of research had preceded the day I sat down to put the story together, and the interweaving of
many plot layers I had planned required a degree of concentration I had never before
experienced" (Herbert). Dune to me was the contrast between the inhuman values found in the

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book to our human nature in reality. It was a deep allegory, that interweaved politics, faith and
ecology into a fantastic story that surrounded a drug that became a dependent substance around
Herbert's universe. It inspired me to think deeply about the plot line and what it meant to me.
Books like Frank Herbert's, "Dune" did not only deepen my desire to improve and work harder
in my English classes, but he also changed my outlook towards social interaction, politics and
religion. Dune, essentially kicked started me into other books, which served as a curative for my
distaste for English.
My negative perspective about English really grew through a lack of motivation, because
of the learning constraints I had to deal with. One fact about me, is that I need to be allowed the
creative space to understand, solve or work in order to truly enjoy something. Many of my
English classes in the past or more germane, my high school sophomore and junior class denied
me the creativity I wanted to explore in my papers or readings. I was always told to write a paper
only about this, use only these specified sources, and my essays can only be about this aspect of
the book. These constraints caused me to give up on my literacy classes, which affected my
opinion about English. Similar to a student in Gruwell's class, limitations that denied him
creativity forced him to look something else he could enjoy. He remarks, "'My art gives me the
'ganas' (strength) to continue what I do. I never do an of my class work, so I spend my time in
class sketching on my notebook, handouts, backpack, or on anything in sight. I am an artist and I
love what I do"' (Gruwell). This student focused his passion towards his graffiti, because it
allow him to not hold back and express himself. In turn, his devotion to his art, hurt him in other
areas, like his attitude towards school. My dislike for my high school English classes
unmotivated me to put effort in school and express my creative boundlessness in other activities.
An example of book that I disliked, because I felt the plot became dry coupled with the constant

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teasing from my classmates is, "Life of Pi". I enjoyed the first part of this novel, learning about
the protagonist, Pi's family, culture and his religious beliefs. For me the book started getting
dull, when Pi was stranded in the middle of the ocean. At that point the plot didn't feel like it was
progressing and the interesting parts of his character that I enjoyed are essentially thrown out of
the window. Although, he expand on his relationship with his gods and the stranded Bengal tiger
, I felt the original concept was lost in the lack of plot. Similar to "The Life of Pi", my English
classes felt like I was stranded on a boat in the middle of the ocean. although it had interesting
aspects, like Pi's faith, my English classes lost it to the suffocating work and handholding book
analysis. I thought that Life of Pi could of been enjoyable if my classes would allow me to read
and think about it myself, instead book limited itself through the constraints of my schooling. I
wasn't offered a whole lot of choices in terms of what I could write about and it actually hindered
my ability to learn. Dr. Schwartz the writer of "The Tyranny of Choice" argues that a lack of
choice would result in an increase of personal satisfaction, but my experience in my high school
English classes would negate his argument. Since, my creativity or thinking process was
contained by strict rules about what I could write about, my personal satisfaction lowered. In fact
it was so low, that my enjoyable choice was to not do any of the essays or work, which only hurt
me. Schwartz also argues that limiting choice will fit people into a mold of what they already or
will feel content about; thus increasing one's satisfaction, but what if someone wanted to break
their mold in order to explore new things. Essentially, my high school English classes tried to
force me into a mold, but instead it hurt my opinion of my literacy classes and my grade.
Schwartz argument seems fallacious, because he is applying his theory as if it were human
nature, inherit to everyone and every situation. If I were offered the freedom to choose what I

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wanted to write about, then my personal satisfaction would have increased and I could have
enjoyed Life of Pi more.
My literacy education has varied throughout my life, because of my attitude towards my
English classes. At first, I disliked most of my classes, because I was told only to write a certain
way and only write about this, which hindered my ability to be and think creatively. In turn,
these constraints unmotivated me to write essays. Similar to my opinion about Life of Pi, my
English classes became dry and boring to me. Then I was able to gradually beat my laziness and
boredom by thinking about my English class like a preparing for a debate, which I enjoyed
immensely. After I discovered that I could conquer my aversion for English, I decided to read
books that could encapsulate my interest and imagination. Books like, "Dune" by Frank Herbert
inspired me to think differently about literature and the potential knowledge and enjoyment that
can lie within them. My colorful experience with my literacy education was a mixture of good
and bad, but I can say now that, even though English is still not my favorite subject, I can enjoy
it more than I did back then.

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Jin, Ha. "Arrival" The Writer's Presence: A Pool of Readings. Ed. Donald McQuade, and Robert
Atwan. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2012. 122-128. Print
Schwartz, Berry. "The Tyranny of Choice" The Writer's Presence: A Pool of Readings. Ed.
Donald McQuade, and Robert Atwan. Boston: Bedford/St. Martin's, 2012. 800-806. Print
Herbert, Frank. "Dune: Heretics". New York: Berkley Publishing Group, 1984. Kindle
Gruwell, Erin. "Freedom Writer Diaries". New York: Broadway Books, 1999. Kindle