Enhanced Erpat Manual

Empowerment and
Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities (ERPAT)

MANUAL

Social Technology Bureau
Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)
2013

Table of Contents

Message .i
Foreword ...iii

Introduction
Chapter 1 : An Overview of ERPAT ....
Chapter 2 : The Field Office Technical Staff .
Chapter 3 : The LGU Implementers ...
Chapter 4 : The Father Leaders ..
Chapter 5 : Conducting the ERPAT Modules
Module I: Understanding Myself` as a Person .
Module II: Accepting Your Role as a Father .
Module III: Becoming Your Wifes Bestfriend ..
Module IV: Fathers as Child Caregivers .
Module V: Promoting Family Spirituality .
Module VI: Fathers as Advocate in the Promotion
of Peace in the Family .....
Module VII: Fathers as Advocate in Promoting a
Drug-Free Home ..
Module VIII: Fathers as Advocate in the Prevention
of HIV-AIDS ...
Module IX: Fathers as Advocate in Promoting
Positive Discipline..
Appendices .................................................................
References .................................................................

Message

The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)
recognizes the significant role of fathers in child care and
contribution to familial tasks. Fathers should be viewed not only
as providers but also as active partners in child rearing. If their
nurturing capabilities are harnessed and strengthened, we are
certain that they will contribute favorably in promoting and
supporting the physical, emotional, social and intellectual development of their
children.

To realize this, the Manual on Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal
Abilities (ERPAT) was developed as a strategy to provide a venue where fathers
capabilities will be maximized to enable them to meet the challenges of active
parenting.

Likewise, the ERPAT Manual was enhanced to clarify the roles and
responsibilities of technical staff in the field offices, local government unit (LGU)
implementers and father leaders in the optimism that this will be effectively
implemented at the local level. Further, the inclusion of positive discipline as
additional module is another valuable input in the enhanced manual to encourage
parents to practice non-violent ways of disciplining children.

To this end, I would like to extend the Departments warm appreciation for the
continued efforts of the LGU implementers and their local counterparts who
continue to be committed to the pursuit of building quality family lives through the
implementation of the ERPAT Manual in their respective localities. Their sharing of
experiences in the implementation of the previous manual has contributed in the
enhancement and development of this new one.

I would also like to acknowledge our technical staff for sharing their expertise for
the completion of this manual - your passion and hope of having more effective
and responsible fathers will no doubt, contribute to building stable and nurturing
Filipino families.

FOREWORD

Parenting is an opportunity for every person to take on
the challenges of raising children. However, while
mothers are regarded as loving, supportive and devoted
to their children, fathers are seen to be too preoccupied
with their role and responsibility in providing financial
support for their family that oftentimes, they do not take an active part in
childrearing. Fathers are also seen as stricter than mothers, for they are
expected to take on the task of disciplining their children and shaping
them to become responsible, dependable adults.

While this may hold true to some, this does not mean that all fathers are
incapable of showing their love, concern and affection for their children.
Fathers can and do actively share parenting responsibility with their
spouses through different ways by playing with their children, listening
to their problems, helping them with their assignments and the like
proving that they are capable of providing more than just financial support
to their families. It is then highly encouraged that the childrearing skills of
both parents should complement and be at par with each other to ensure
their childrens optimal growth and development.

Thus, in order to strengthen the role and capacity of fathers as key
partners in child survival, development, protection and participation, the
Empowerment and Re-affirmation of Paternal Abilities (ERPAT) is
developed. The ERPAT strategy gives importance to the responsibilities
of a father in the family. It also highlights the prominence of the fathers
irrefutable role in childrearing.

The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD) has
enhanced the ERPAT Manual to ensure that the Field Office Staff, Local
Government Unit Implementers, and Father Leaders are guided
accordingly, leading to a convergence of efforts in the implementation of
ERPAT. This Manual contains specific guides, strategies, approaches and
modules for the conduct of community-based sessions for sustaining
ERPAT. With this, we hope that the ERPAT father will appreciate and
recognize his vital roles in the family as a responsible co-parent with his
wife and a loving nurturer to his children.

INTRODUCTION

Dear ERPAT Stakeholder;

Welcome to the most exciting but often times not-so-easy world of
FATHERING!

In a country like ours, fathers are almost always the hardesttoreach
both inside and outside the home when it comes to childcare and
development. Tatay (Tagalog for father), however, is not at fault here. In
a lot of cases, he simply does not know how. Societys predefined role for
the man-of-the-house dictates that he just has to bring-home-the-bacon
and win the bread. Beyond these, most fathers are left clueless as to
what to do to be more effective and responsive parents.

Effective and responsive fathering refers to how a father performs
his parental roles and responsibilities to his family, most especially to his
children. It also refers to the kind of relationships he maintains with each
member of his family; and with this relationships, how he is able to
encourage the family to perform each ones roles and functions.

Such is the intention of Empowerment and Re-affirmation of
Paternal Abilities or more popularly known now in many parts of the
country as ERPAT.

If you are:

1.) A DSWD Field Office Technical Staff;

2.) A Program Implementer (most likely a social worker who
works with local government; or even a non-government
organization); or

3.) A Father-volunteer (someone taking time out to help other
fathers like you to better themselves);

Then, this manual was written with you in mind!

Thank you!

Whoever you may be, were very sure that your interest to use
this manual is enough reason to thank you for answering the call to reach
out to fathers who, in their otherwise quiet and passive stance in the
family, have long been wanting to be actively involved in their familys
everyday lives more than just providing.

About ERPAT (The Manual)

This manual is a synthesis of many years of experience since
ERPAT was first conceived in 1995. It attempts to capture what hundreds
of fathers in the Philippines have experienced especially designed for
them and share them all with you.

To enhance the manual further, ERPAT experiences in many
regions were assessed through a writeshop organized by the Social
Technology Bureau and participated in by DSWD field office technical
staff. For three days the participants labored to enhance the manual first
published in 2004.

The writeshop participants:

Shared their personal and professional experiences in
implementing ERPAT;
Exchanged success stories of fathers who underwent the
ERPAT experiences; and,
Wrote additional contents for the enhanced manual

The enhanced manual thus offer a wider timeline, which includes
the tasks of the three main users / readers namely; the (1) field office
technical staff, (2) the Local Government Unit/implementer or NGO
volunteer and the (3) fatherleader.

Objectives of the Manual

This manual aims to help the reader / user to initiate and sustain
ERPAT at all levels. Specifically, this manual aims to provide you:

a) An adequate background information and materials on ERPAT
as a strategy, as a service and as an organization;

b) A ready-to-use set of training modules for your ERPAT sessions:
and

c) A basic resource information that you may access in the course
of program implementation.

d) Inside the Manual

This Manual contains a total of five (5) interdependent parts.

Chapter one gives you an overview of ERPAT;

Chapter two provides information on how to go about introducing
ERPAT to the LGUs;

Chapter three gives you a step-by-step procedure in implementing
ERPAT specific to the LGU implementer;

Chapter four defines roles and functions of ERPAT volunteers,
leaders and other stakeholders; and,

Chapter five takes you to the ERPAT training modules.

How to use the Manual

Using this manual should be easy for you. All it takes is for you to:

Read when you see this icon

Write when you see this icon, and

Do when you see this icon

From time to time, you will also encounter (instruction notes in
parenthesis like this one) that tells you to either copy or photocopy a
page or document, and will see shaded boxes that contain more
information in the form of stories and anecdotes.

At this point were very sure that youre about to begin your
journey. So again welcome to exciting world of fathering, and we hope
that you enjoy using this manual.

Chapter One: An Overview of ERPAT

Looking back the ERPAT Timeline:

1995

The then Bureau of Family and Community Welfare
conceptualized a Parent Effectiveness Session especially
designed for fathers.

This strategy was called Empowerment and Re-affirmation of
Paternal Abilities Training (ERPAT).

ERPAT was developed to address the problem of fathers non-
attendance to the Parent Effectiveness Service (PES) sessions.

The first ones to benefit from ERPAT were DSWD male
employees.

1999

The Department of Social Welfare and Development (DSWD)
underwent a repositioning.

The then Programs and Project Bureau took ERPAT as a core
service for fathers, enriching it by going beyond the initial intent.

Under the PPB, ERPAT addressed the increased incidence of
domestic violence, gender role issues and fathers inadequate
parenting capability.

PPB pilottested ERPAT in three (3) regions namely, Regions X,
VI and V (specifically the cities of Gingoog, Kabankalan and
Legazpi.

ERPAT was implemented within the Family Life Resource
Centers and in selected communities.

The first group of ERPAT father-leaders and volunteers were
organized.
2002

A writeshop among the academe, faith-based groups, NGOs,
GOs, and POs enhanced ERPATs content.

In a Regional Parent Education Congress, further inputs for
ERPAT materialized given that the Congress theme included the
important role of fathers in securing a drug-free home.

These series of revisions brought about eight basic training
modules.

2008

LGU Implementers and father-leaders from the Visayas and
Mindanao Clusters participated in a trainers training.

The participants from this training committed to implement
ERPAT in their respective regions and provinces. The
participants also planned and agreed to hold an assessment on
the implementation of ERPAT towards the end of the same year.

2009
The Social Technology Bureau conducted a quick survey to
assess the ERPAT experience; yielding the following findings:

- Of the 17 regions nationwide, 11 regions implemented the
ERPAT service to 36% of the provinces in the country
composed of 66 cities and municipalities.

- A total of 363 ERPAT trainings conducted in 475 barangays
benefited a total of 8,401 fathers.

- More than half of the fathers trained came from Region VI
equivalent to 56% of the participants followed by Region IX
and Region X at 19% and 15%, respectively.

- The ERPAT trainings conducted resulted to the organization
of 359 ERPAT associations nationwide with a total of 8,777
individual members.

- 32% of ERPAT organizations are active with commitment,
sustained interest and active participation of father-leaders
and members as the main reasons cited

- Region IX conducted ERPAT for 38 batches and sustained 35
of them as associations attributed to their regular conduct of
meetings and formulation of organizational thrust and
directions.

- Support services are very important in sustaining the
operation of the ERPAT organization.

- Almost 80% of the ERPAT organizations are aware of their
role as fathers through the conduct of awareness and
information campaign.

- Technical Assistance from the Field Office is a necessary
factor to ensure ERPAT success.

The STB organized a writeshop among field office technical staff
members to enhance the ERPAT manual

ERPAT: The Basic Information

ERPAT is the word PATER pronounced backwards!

A colloquial term coined by the sons and daughters of
the 60s which gained popularity through the 70s,
ERPAT was and is commonly used by children
particularly the teenagers - to mean an easy-to-
approach father, in a peer-to-peer relationship as
members of the family; and one who is not frightening
but instead considered as a peer-friend.

ERPAT or Empowerment and Re-affirmation of
Paternal Abilities aims to engage fathers to become
effective and responsive. It gives importance and emphasis on fathers
paternal roles, responsibilities and abilities. It aims to achieve shared
parenting tasks in the performance of familial responsibilities.

Simply put, a fathers role transcends from a mere provider, to one who
shares parenting that includes providing care, attention and affection to
each member of his family. ERPAT focuses on how this person carries
himself as a father performing multiple roles as his childs teacher and
caregiver, his wifes husband and a friend to everyone in his household.

ERPAT also gives emphasis on eliminating
traditional gender roles manifested in the
proliferation of the macho image of men as
seen and observed in the norms, expectations
and behavior patterns of Filipino males. ERPAT
aims to help fathers achieve a broader and fairer
definition of gender roles, while understanding of
ones self as a nurturing and caring individual
both for his children and spouse.

ERPAT stands for

ERPAT RATIONALE

Like in any development program, project, service, activity and/or
strategy, ERPAT stands on the firm conviction that fathers DO need help
to be able to perform their roles and responsibilities. Further, there is a
need to strengthen and maximize their capacities to become effective and
efficient advocates in the elimination of violence against women and
children.

The following are ERPATs rationale statements, which of these
statements are also true to you? (Please check)

____ Parenting, particularly care-giving, is assumed more as a feminine
activity. Fathers are rarely given basic information and are never
trained to perform a caring role in the family.
____ Fathers most often serve as a shadow-figure in the family, difficult
to understand and rarely attend to, or provide care and nurturance
for their children.
____ Familial responsibilities of fathers are increasing as women
become more active in the labor force.
____ Fathers are no longer confined to perform the role of a
breadwinner in the family. Present realities demand greater
quality time of fathers to share child-rearing tasks due to changing
family life situations.
____ Mens active involvement in family concerns are primarily
hindered by lack of a close and stable relationship of fathers with
their children. This is deepened by lack of/or inadequate
knowledge and skills on child rearing and other familial tasks.
____ Fathering skills do not come naturally; like most life skills, they
can be learned. It requires discipline and commitment to the
family.
____ Traditional gender role differentiation still persists as manifested
through the proliferation of the macho image of men; Hence,
there is a need for real consciousness for fathers to become more
gender sensitive and participatory in performing familial tasks and
responsibilities and become a nurturing and caring individual both
for their children and spouses.

LEGAL BASES

Now lets take a look at the Legal Bases with which ERPAT is
founded. You might need to get a copy of these documents and review
them yourself.

International Instrument

1. The Convention on the Rights of the Child (CRC) The CRC, an
international instrument ratified in 1990 by the Philippines, sets
minimum standards for state parties to ensure the promotion and
protection of the rights of children.

National Laws

1. 1987 Philippine Constitution
The State recognizes the sanctity of the family life and shall
protect and strengthen the family as a basic autonomous social
institution. It shall equally promote the life of the mother and the
life of the unborn from its conception (Article 2, Section I).

The State recognizes the Filipino family as the foundation of the
nation. Accordingly, it shall strengthen its solidarity and actively
promote its total development. (Article XV, Section I).

2. The Family Code of the Philippines
The husband and wife are obliged to live together, observe
mutual love, respect and fidelity, and render mutual help and
support (Article 68).

The management of the household shall be the right and duty of
both spouses (Article 71).

3. The Child and Youth Welfare Code (PD 603)
Joint Parental Authority The father and mother shall exercise
jointly just and reasonable parental authority and responsibility
over their legitimate or adopted children. (Chapter I - -Article 17)

4. The Anti-Violence Against Women and Children Act or RA
9262 A state shall exert efforts to address violence committed
against women and children in keeping with the fundamental
freedoms guaranteed under the Constitution and the Provisions of

the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the
Convention on the Elimination of all forms of Discrimination
Against Women (CEDAW), Convention on the Rights of the Child
(CRC) and other international human instruments of which the
Philippines is a party. SEC. 2.Declaration of Policy.

5. Special Protection of Children Against Child Abuse,
Exploitation and Discrimination Act or RA 7610 - It is hereby
declared by the policy of the State to provide special protection to
children from all forms of abuse, neglect, cruelty, exploitation and
discrimination and other conditions, prejudicial to their
development; provide sanctions for their commission and carry
out program for prevention and deterrence of and crisis
interventions in situations of child abuse, exploitation and
discrimination. The state shall intervene in behalf of the child
when the parent, guardian, teacher or person having care and
custody of the child fails or is unable to protect the child against
abuse, exploitation and discrimination or when such acts against
the child are committed by the parent, guardian, teacher or
person, having care and custody of the same. SEC. 2.
Declaration of Policy.

6. Family Courts Act of 1997- The State shall protect the rights and
promote the welfare of children in keeping with the mandate of the
Constitution and the precepts of the United Nations Convention
on the rights of the Child. The State shall provide a system of
adjudication for youthful offenders which take into account their
peculiar circumstances.

Things you need to know about ERPAT:

What is ERPAT?

ERPAT can be a lot of things for those who are involved:

ERPAT is a service that
gives importance and
emphasis on the
development and enrichment
of knowledge, attitudes and
skills of fathers in performing
their paternal roles and
responsibilities.

It involves the conduct of
community-based sessions
for fathers; training of; and organization of fatherleaders and
volunteers in the community to facilitate collective action and
participation in promoting the important role of fathers to the
family.

ERPAT also serves as one of the interventions of the Parent
Effectiveness Services (PES) because it sees the significant roles
of fathers in all aspects of child rearing and caring.

What are ERPATs objectives?

General:

To enhance and strengthen parenting capabilities of Filipino fathers in
performing their tasks and responsibilities.

Specific:

1. To empower fathers by developing a positive concept of self.

2. To develop and enhance the fathers attitudes, knowledge and
skills on Early Childhood Care and Development; preparing and
equipping adolescent children in handling and meeting adult roles
and responsibilities; and raising children with spiritual values.

3. To help fathers develop gender sensitivity and appreciation of
partnership with their spouses in promoting and enhancing family
life by:

a. Enhancing and strengthening a positive and satisfying
marital relationship;
b. Preventing violence in the home;
c. Promoting shared parenthood and planned family size.

4. To establish support networks among fathers in the community
and enhance their active participation and involvement especially
in establishing a drug-free family; understanding and preventing
HIV-AIDS; and all forms of violence in the family.

Who are ERPATs Target Beneficiaries?

All males who need better knowledge, attitudes and skills on
fathering, who are unable to cope with familial responsibilities and who fall
under the following categories:

1. Generally fathers
2. Biological Fathers (including but not limited to)
Solo father
Returning migrant/OFWs
Released prisoners
Persons with disabilities
3. Adoptive Father
4. Newly wed husbands
5. Organized father groups i.e., faith based organizations
6. Surrogate Fathers (including but not limited to)
Foster father
Guardian
Caregiver

Who benefits from ERPAT?

Aside from the fathers, families and communities benefit from
ERPAT.

Who implements ERPAT?

The Local Social Welfare and Development Office (LSWDO) are
the direct implementers of ERPAT. Meanwhile, the DSWD through its

field offices provide technical support to the LSWDO. Lastly, father-
leaders are the main actors in community level ERPAT implementation.

Where do funds for ERPAT come from?

The Local Government Units (LGUs) fund the implementation of
ERPAT. However, funding support can be tapped from other agencies.

Who monitors the ERPAT implementation?

The DSWD Field Office shall monitor the service implementation.

What are ERPATs service components?

1. Advocacy and Social Mobilization
This involves the conduct of advocacy and social mobilization
activities in securing support and awareness in the implementation of
ERPAT in the community. Public awareness and information
campaigns shall convey basic messages that promote the important
role of Filipino fathers in instilling and fostering love, respect,
discipline, industry and care for the family. Indigenous form of media
can be utilized to advocate support in the promotion and
implementation of ERPAT at the community using local talents and
resources.

2. Organization and Strengthening of Fathers Associations
This involves the formation of ERPAT core groups composed of
leaders at the barangay level who will facilitate the organization of
ERPAT. The organized structures shall serve as venues for collective
action and participation founded on the principles of cooperation, trust
and good communication and commitment to the promotion of the
important roles of fathers in the family and in promoting the social
well-being of families as a whole.

3. Capability Building / Training
This involves training and capability-building activities for two (2) sets
of implementers:

(1) The ERPAT members - or members of the ERPAT
associations/groups, father leaders and volunteers who are
directly trained primarily to enhance their paternal roles and
responsibilities; and to sustain the ERPAT service in the
community.

(2) LGU Workers/Implementers or the service providers and
implementers who are trained to ensure effective and efficient
service implementation and management.

The basic courses include community volunteers development,
participatory leadership, peer counseling, organization building and
project development and sustainability. Experiential learning activities
are also conducted to put substance and deepen the formal training
provided to the ERPAT implementers and volunteers.

4. Networking and Alliance Building

This involves resource generation and mobilization to achieve the
thrusts of networking and alliance building among agencies and father
groups as the most important indicators of successful community
organization. Networking facilitates sharing of knowledge, skills and
resources among people and organizations in the community. Father-
leaders and volunteers and/or father associations are mobilized to
generate resources to sustain implementation of ERPAT in the
community. This includes family welfare serving agencies and child
caring/placing agencies as well as the LGUs and POs in the target
areas. Efforts to converge the resources and services of different
welfare agencies operating within the area are pursued to ensure
optimal use of resources for ERPAT.

ERPATS VISION:

ERPAT envisions responsible Filipino fathers who are committed,
disciplined, knowledgeable, and are highly appreciative in
carrying out effective paternal roles and responsibilities

ERPAT MISSION:

To work with fathers and their families in the community helping
them to:
1. Appreciate their roles in the family
2. Improve performance of paternal tasks, and
3. Access support services and activities that will help them
achieve a united, productive and stable family.

To form ERPAT associations at the barangay level; federations at
the municipal/city, provincial and national levels and gain
representations in local councils

Chapter Two: THE FIELD OFFICE TECHNICAL STAFF
(Initiating, Managing and Sustaining ERPAT)

ERPAT was introduced by the DSWD through its Field Offices. The Field
Office technical staff performs a number of tasks that will ensure ERPATs
success. As in many other national programmes, projects, services, or
activities, the FO generally:

Provides technical assistance and resource augmentation;
Prepares and does social marketing activities for a specific
programme, project, service or activity;
Build networks and alliances;
Generate and manage data; and
Write reports

Let us now take a closer look at the things the FO staff must do:

1. Secure, consolidate, analyze and interpret data of family situations at
the regional level and segregate these by province. Find out and
build:

1.1 The over-all situation of families, you may acquire these from the
local planning offices;
1.2 The magnitude of / incidences of domestic violence in the
community, you may acquire these from the local social welfare
and development office and the local police entity;
1.3 The magnitude of / incidence of other macro issues, i.e., drug use
and abuse, HIV and AIDS, teenage pregnancy. ECCD PES
attendance by fathers, etc.

TIPS:
engage academe and / or local research institutes
utilize area based research from and by local NGOs
mobilize partner POs

2. Develop or craft simple communication materials which you will use to
present the data that you have gathered per province or per
city/municipality; among these materials include:

2.1 PowerPoint presentation or flip chart;
2.2 Fact Sheets or leaflets per municipality or province.

3. Also make ready a generic ERPAT orientation acquired from the
DSWD-STB.

4. Once done, begin your ground work by engaging significant members
of the local councils and local chief executives by initiating courtesy
calls i.e., the committee chairpersons for Family; as well as the
Budget and Planning Officers. When necessary write SB sponsors to
include ERPAT Orientation in the agenda of the SB regular session.

5. Request for and arrange an agreed convenient date for presentation.

6. Present your data as well as the ERPAT concept covering:

a) ERPAT Vision and Mission
b) Roles and functions of the MSWDO on ERPAT implementation
c) Activities related to ERPAT implementation
d) Benefits of having ERPAT

Impact to Individual Father Impact to Families

Enhance awareness on their roles
as fathers and become responsible
parents

Close family relationship
developed/improved and are more
comfortable and open to each other

Father's self-esteem and capacities
developed through attending series
of training and seminar

Improved skills on parenting and
become role model of the family
TIPS:
Keep your presentations accurate, brief and concise
Always support your data with statistics that are easily
understood

Impact to Individual Father Impact to Families
Fathers spent more time with the
family and learned to be patient
and control their temper
Household chores are already
shared between husband and wife
Fathers are more comfortable and
able to express their ideas and
affection to their wife after attending
the session
Increased awareness on gender
sensitivity issues and minimized or
eliminated domestic violence

Fathers become God-fearing and
God-loving

High respect of children towards
their fathers

Fathers gained more knowledge
and a changed perception that
fathers do not have the monopoly
of knowledge

Learned to understand the
nature/characteristics of wife as a
woman
Fathers understood the stages of
development of their children

Impact to Communities
Improved relationship with members of the community by gaining friends
with lesser conflict

Role model in the community and actively participate in community
activities

Acted as resource person during training

Law abiding citizens

Residents realized the importance of community activities

Lessen number of reported cases of domestic violence in the area and
decrease vices among fathers

Peer counseling to members of the group

Peaceful community
Gained respect from the community

Fathers became advocates in the prevention of family violence
Gambling is minimized and regulated
Income generating activities and projects continue to exist and are
sustained

7. When necessary, craft a Memorandum of Agreement (MOA) between
the Field Office representing the DSWD and the Local Government
expressing the LGUs commitment to adopt ERPAT as a service and
defining the technical assistance and roles of the DSWD through the
FO;

8. Organize and conduct a region / provincewide ERPAT training of
trainers among LGU implementers and Father Leaders;

9. Provide post training technical assistance to provinces and / or
municipalities as resource person, in the areas of:

9.1 Training management & facilitation
9.2 Tips on community volunteer resource mobilization
9.3 Sustainability Planning

10. Conduct monitoring visits, periodic monitoring assessment surveys
through the use of standard monitoring tool and annual assessment
meetings with LGU and father leaders;

11. Generate periodic (quarterly) reports for the DSWD central office.

TIPS:
Organize ahead of time
Ensure that all logistics (financial, human, material resources)
you need are available

Here are some more ideas for the Field Office Technical Staff:

1. Regularly hone your skills in social marketing, advocacy and
networking ERPATs success is about making the issues (in
this case parenting unique to fathers and the need to address
domestic violence) you raise be felt and owned by the people
themselves;

2. Practice your facilitating skills remember that you are the
primary trainer if not the training manager of the people who will
implement ERPAT. Keep in mind a teaching theory that goes
one teaches the way he/she was taught. How you will deliver the
messages contained in ERPAT will reflect on how well they will be
able to implement it at the local level

3. Update yourself with current issues keep abreast with local
and national issues that are directly or indirectly related to ERPAT
(father-centered issues). Among these are domestic violence,
absentee fathers and the social cost of labor migration, child
protection and development.

4. Familiarize yourself with new laws and issuances read and
be familiar with national and local policies that can help you in
understanding current protection issues;

5. Make sure that you understand the processes with which
ERPAT is implemented at the LGU level - it is best therefore to
read through the proceeding chapters on ERPAT implementation

6. Value your partnerships with LGU implementers, Local Chief
Executives and Father Leaders get to know them and add a
personal touch with your partners in the provinces and
municipalities. Remember their birthdays and send them greeting
cards, track their achievements and send them congratulatory
notes, etc.

7. Organize (when logistics permit) and participate in other
auxiliary activities - keep in mind family day celebrations,
nutrition month, childrens month, mothers and fathers day,
adoption week, etc. these are good opportunities to engage local
government partners in ERPAT issues

8. Involve the NGOs they may have other resources which you
can use for ERPAT;

9. Keep disciplined schedules do remember that LGUs have
other activities aside from ERPAT, keeping a disciplined schedule
for activities like training, meetings, monitoring visits as agreed
will make it easier for them.

10. Always bear in mind you and your partners definitive roles
and functions but be flexible as well:

The Stakeholders Functions

ERPAT has four (4) main groups of stakeholders, namely the ERPAT
father volunteers/leaders; the local government units; NGOs, civic and
private groups; and the DSWD Central Office together with the DSWD
Field Offices. Each group has specific functions, thus;

A. Functions of ERPAT Fathers and Volunteers/Leaders
1. Recruit fathers in the barangay to join ERPAT Association;
2. Organize the ERPAT Association under the direct supervision of
the LGU social worker;
3. Assist the LGU trained social workers in the conduct of ERPAT
Sessions in the Barangay;
4. Assist the LGU social workers in the conduct of ERPAT training
and other related activities;
5. Assist the ERPAT Associations in Management and Monitoring of
group projects and activities;
6. Submit report to LGU Social Workers of ERPAT Association
Accomplishment and Group Roster Forms.

B. The Role/ Functions of Local Government Units
1. Implement and supervise the project;
2. Provide administrative fund support in the implementation of
project;
3. Facilitate organization of ERPAT Associations;
4. Supervise activities of ERPAT Association, e.g. planning and
implementation of support activities in the community;
5. Conduct training for ERPAT volunteers and leaders;
6. Provide technical assistance and supervision to members and
offices of ERPAT associations;
7. Identify/access resources for the provision of social services to
ERPAT family members;
8. Develop and maintain linkages with NGOs, GOs and other
stakeholders;

9. Support public awareness raising/regional concerning overall
goals and thrust ERPAT;
10. Conduct of monitoring and evaluation using the standard
monitoring tool.
11. Prepare quarterly status reports to DSWD Field Offices;

C. Other Stakeholders
(NGOs/Church/Academe/Civic Groups/Associations)
1. Acts as resource person;
2. Provides referral services;
3. Provides fund augmentation and access to resources;
4. Conducts trainings on ERPAT session and skills enhancement
activities;
5. Assists MSWDO/CSWDO in identification/recruitment of ERPAT
participants;
6. Participates in service review and enrichment/development.

D. The Role/Functions of DSWD Central Office
1. Prepares guidelines and other program materials for the service;
2. Oversees the overall implementation of service;
3. Allocates funds for the implementation of the service;
4. Monitors, evaluates and provides technical assistance to the
DSWD Field Offices
5. Conducts orientation/demonstration of the project to LGUs
implementers;
6. Consolidates and analyses reports submitted by the regions;
7. Prepares quarterly reports and update of the service;
8. Conducts documentation and research of the service;
9. Conduct of annual program review and evaluation workshop.

E. The Roles / Functions of DSWD Field Office
1. Conducts consultation with LGUs to determine their interest,
readiness, commitment and capability to implement the service;
2. Assists in the orientation of LGU implementers;
3. Monitors and provides technical assistance to LGU implementers;
4. Develops and maintains linkages with LGUs, NGOs and other
national government agencies in the area relative to service
implementation;
5. Assists in the evaluation research and documentation of the
service;
6. Ensures judicious disbursement of funds;
7. Prepares and submits a quarterly report to the DSWD Central
Office;

8. Forge a MOA to gain the support and commitment of LGUs to
adopt ERPAT as a service and define the roles of DSWD Field
Office

Chapter Three: THE LGU IMPLEMENTERS

The success of ERPAT depends on two important factors. It
includes (1) the active involvement of fathers themselves in the
community and a (2) strong support from the Barangay or local officials as
well as other existing groups in the community.

Heres a step-by-step guide for you (The LGU implementer) to
follow when preparing to implement ERPAT:

A. Coordinate with Barangay Council and other Key Leaders

Coordinate with your Barangay Officials to elicit commitment and
support of the Barangay Council as well as clarify the functions and
types of support you expect from them in implementing ERPAT.

B. Identify and Recruit your target participants (fathers)

This involves identification of priority target beneficiaries at the
community level through home visits and referrals by both LGUs
and non-government organizations (NGOs) or groups in the locality.
Among those you can initially engage with are:

1. Fathers who are members of the Day Care Service Parents
Groups (DCSPG)
2. Neighborhood Parent Effectiveness Assembly (NPEA)
3. Supplemental Feeding Parents Group (SFPG)
4. Husbands of women who are involved and / or are beneficiaries
of programs for women ;
5. Members of the Barangay Council for the Protection of Children
and the Barangay Council
6. Fathers who are members of Men Support Groups (MSG).
7. Fathers who are members of Men Oppose to Violence Against
Women Everywhere (MOVE).

Make your list now:
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________

Aside from the above, you must also consider fathers of families at risks.
To identify them you may need to refer to the following indicators;

1. Families with reported cases
of abuse
2. Families whose members
are with poor health/nutrition
3. Families whose children are
out-of-school
4. Families whose heads
exhibit inappropriate
behavior models of family
such as substance use and
abuse, and
5. Families with solo male
parent

Make your list now:
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________
__________________________

YOUR 3-HOUR SESSION
GUIDE:

1 hour
Opening Amenities
Prayer
Welcome Remarks
Introduction of Participants
Group Dynamic
Expectation Setting

1 hour
ERPAT Background/Orientation
History
Rationale
Objectives
Approaches/Strategies
Expected Output by the
group

1 hour
Brainstorming on present
situation of Fathers
Problems, fears, threats and
challenges, myths and beliefs
of Filipino fathers.
Take note of their ideas and
write them on the board or
Manila paper.

Highlight commonalities and
differences of their responses
and link them to the importance
of having an ERPAT project in
their Barangay.

C. Conduct an Orientation on ERPAT

Conduct an orientation session based on the time and place
preferred by the father volunteers. Inform them of the objectives
so that they will know what to expect. Seek their commitments by
visiting them in their homes.

In conducting an orientation meeting for ERPAT, you need to
establish rapport, camaraderie and friendship among fathers and
key leaders that you have invited. Focus your orientation meeting
on the background, rationale, objectives, approaches, and
strategies of ERPAT. You may need to use group dynamics and
games to animate this session. This meeting also includes
brainstorming on the present situations of Filipino fathers. Inset is
a three-(3) hour orientation session guide for you.

D. Organize a Core Group of Fathers

Once you have identified and oriented your target fathers,
engage them to organize a core group composed of 20-25
individuals. They should be those who are concerned and
capable of assisting and / or initiating ERPAT activities in the
community. Also remember to coordinate with the Barangay
Council asking them to lend support by having a representative
who can help organize the core group. You might need to begin
by engaging other informal father leaders in the Barangay
coming from different sectors such as church, schools and other
organizations in the Barangay.

Make your list now:

E. Set a Final Schedule for the ERPAT Community-Based
Sessions

Secure fathers commitment during your orientation session and
engage them to agree on a specific schedule for the conduct of
ERPAT session. Together with the core group of fathers, prepare
for the ERPAT training.

Heres a checklist that you and the core group can use as task
guide:

Who do you think can?

Arrange the venue and its physical set-up
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

Follow-up invitation and participation of father-participants
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

Prepare training materials e.g. visual support and workshop
materials
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

Arrange food (depending on the availability of funds)
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
___________________________________________________
Identify and mobilize resources and logistics
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

Organize and invite your pool of speakers from the trained father
leaders with the MSWDO or LGU worker
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________

F. Conduct the ERPAT Sessions

At this stage, you and the other father-trainers can devise your
own teaching methodologies and materials. However do maintain
the core messages for each of the session. The modules and
session guides are found in Chapter Five.

G. Conduct and Organizational Planning Workshop

After completing the ERPAT training sessions, you can now
identify more potential leaders that will expand your initial core
group of ERPAT leaders. Immediately call for a planning
workshop where and when officers are elected and committees
are formed. Do remember to define roles and responsibilities as
basis for the choice of leaders. Emphasize too, that the members
and leaders of each committee must have a sense of commitment
for community development work, effective leadership, and
should be sensitive and concerned to fellow families/fathers in the
community.

H. Organize an ERPAT Association

The organized fathers in your community can now form the
ERPAT Barangay Association. (Please see annex). For its initial
meeting, the organization shall formulate its vision, mission and
goal (VMG) based on the objectives of ERPAT. This is very
important for this will guide as well as provide direction to the
plans and other activity of the association. The members and
officers of the ERPAT association shall jointly agree upon the
vision, mission and goals.

When the members and officers finalize the VMG, the plan of
action of the association may be finalized and specific committees
can be organized to handle activities or projects. Each committee
may set their own activities to accomplish their tasks.

In the plan of action of the ERPAT associations, special emphasis
on the celebration of special events such as Family Week,
Fathers Day, Mothers Day, Childrens Month, Womens month
and other special events that promote the strengthening of family
shall also be included

I. Implement the Planned Programs and Projects of ERPAT

A key to sustaining organizations life is to make sure those
programs and projects are implemented as planned. The LGU
worker can initially supervise program and project
implementation. At this stage, it is expected that you and the
association mobilizes fathers who will then mobilize their family
members to help undertake projects in the community. Among the
activities and projects you can implement are:

Capability Building for both newly recruited fathers and other
LGU or NGO workers;
Peer Support Organization and Mobilization
Project Monitoring, Supervision, Evaluation and Sustainability

Monitoring and evaluation of the service implementation shall
focus on the following activities:

The DSWD national and field offices will conduct regular
monitoring visits. This will be a joint activity with the local
government units concerned.

Annual service implementation review will be conducted to
evaluate the overall project implementation to include
strengths and weaknesses for continuity and improvement as
a basis for plan of action for the succeeding year.

Other activities that can help you sustain the organization are
activities that respond to the needs and problems of each
member, individual or in groups. These include but not limited to
the (1) regular home visits, (2) provision of livelihood projects; (3)
conduct of cultural and sports activities; and (4) provision of
awards and other forms of recognition/incentives to the efforts of
father leaders and volunteers.

Chapter Four:
THE FATHER LEADERS

You must have noticed by now that ERPAT places the highest
premium on the father-volunteers and leaders as they play key roles in
the community. More than anything else, they serve as role models to
their families and communities. They also serve as facilitators in
promoting the rearing and caring roles of fathers in the family. Of course,
all of ERPATs service components prepare these father-volunteers to
focus on these roles.

Competency Requirements of an ERPAT Leader/Volunteer

To be able to perform these roles, a set of competencies are
required. Do check/engage the father-volunteers if they possess
the following competencies below. If not, you may need to find
ways as to help them acquire these competencies.

1. Knowledge:
- Know basic methods of organizing
- Know the contents of the ERPAT project
- Has good knowledge on leadership and volunteerism
- Has basic knowledge on Peer Counseling

2. Attitudes/Values:
- Sensitivity to familial roles, responsibilities, needs and
social realities among fathers.
- Recognizes strengths and improve weaknesses

3. Skills:
- Effective communication
- Facilitating groups and using facilitating methods
- Active listening and relationship-building
- Energizing/inspiring/motivating
- Basic skills in counseling
- Skills in organizing
- Skills in establishing rapport

As ERPAT leaders and volunteers, fathers during the preliminary, proper
and post implementation phases perform multiple roles. Each of these
roles requires a particular set of competency and entails corresponding
responsibilities. This chapter spells out all these roles and provides you
descriptive parameters.

A. Preliminary Phase

Father-volunteer as Coordinator
Coordinates with M/CSWDO in the conduct of community-based
sessions.
Assists in the conduct of identifying fathers as participants
Arranges for a venue and use of equipment
Prepares learning materials
Provides resource persons, if necessary
Acts as guides during the learning experiences of fathers

Father-volunteer as Organizer
Coordinates and links with M/CSWDO, Barangay leaders/officials and
ensure active participation of fathers in the community;
Organizes core group of fathers as initial volunteers
Identifies and mobilizes resources

B. Implementation Phase

Father-volunteer as Co-Trainer (in the Community-Based Sessions)

Plans with M/CSWDO on theme and topic assignments
Assists M/CSWDO in the conduct of ERPAT session or acts as
resource person
Provides information on ERPAT
Conducts training for fathers in the community through the use of
various learning methodologies
Uses learning aidscharts, drawing, pictures, and other forms of visual
aids

Father-volunteer as Peer Counselor

Provides support and encouragement to fathers in crisis
Develops rapport with other participants
Develops genuine interest in directing their process of growth

Communicates on a one-on-one basis with fathers in stressful situations
Organizes sessions to enhance self-confidence and self-esteem of
fathers.
Enhances relationship/teambuilding with father volunteers/leaders

Father-volunteer as Documenter and Records Keeper

Maintains records of the accomplishment of the ERPAT group through
monitoring and documentation
Observes participation/involvement of father leaders
Documents activities of ERPAT groups

C. Post-Implementation

Father-volunteer as Monitor/Evaluator

Assesses the extent of implementation and effects of ERPAT sessions
to father participants
Undertakes follow-up visits with / to fathers and their families
Conducts regular (monthly/quarterly) meeting
Shares reflections and sessions with fathers volunteers/leaders
Provides relevant feedback to C/MSWDO
Conducts consultation meeting with other stakeholders

Father-volunteer as Coordinator

Conducts follow through activities through coordination with concerned
parties
Establishes and maintains contacts with the fathers in the community,
their families, peers, and other individuals or groups or agencies
involved in ERPAT implementation to ensure that its objectives are
achieved.

Father-volunteer as Advocate

Shares learning and gains of ERPAT to other fathers in the community
Recruits fathers and Men Opposed to Violence Against Women
Everywhere (MOVE) advocates to become ERPAT members
Builds partnership with MOVE organization for the prevention of
violence against women and children (VAWC)
Assists in the information dissemination campaign of ERPAT towards
promotion of paternal roles and responsibilities

Chapter Five:
Conducting the ERPAT Modules

The community based training is the heart and
soul of the ERPAT service where we engage the
fathers. This is also where much of ERPATs
objectives (increasing fathers knowledge, skills
and values/ attitudes on parenting) are achieved.

This chapter contains easy-to-follow sessions
and / or activity plans particularly arranged to
ensure competency build-up among your father-
trainees.

For beginning facilitators or trainers, you may follow each activity plan.
While these sessions and / or activity plans have been tested, you are
free to make the necessary changes as you see fit or be creative while
conducting your training.

Each session plan contains the following:

1. Title gives you a clue on what the module or session is all about
2. Intro spiel this is a short spiel written in italics just like this one, which
you can use / say to introduce the session to your participants.
3. Estimated Time tells you how long a particular session lasts. The
whole ERPAT training if you count the number of hours, roughly takes
around twenty-seven (27) hours. However, field experiences tell us
that the length of session varies based on the trainees
realities. Given this, it is really up to you to manage training time
efficiently as you plan the day or weeks it would take you and your
trainees to complete the modules.
4. Objectives indicates the behavioral objective(s) that your trainees
should be able to demonstrate or do in the course of session;
5. Materials you can find these contained in boxes in every session. It is
a list of things you need in your activities. There are also notes
written in bold letters instructing you to either photocopy or copy as
teaching and learning aids.
6. Methodology tells you about the teaching-learning method espoused
in the activities.

7. Key Learning Points even before you conduct the session, DO read
these carefully and thoroughly, because these are the learning
foundations of the activities. As such they serve either as your guide
or even as your main inputs that raise activities into learning
experiences.
8. Activity / Activities provide(s) step-by-step instructions on how to run
the learning activity
9. Processing provides instructions (most often in the form of guide
questions or actions) that you can ask or do to engage your
participants to deepen their learning experiences.
10. Application allow the participants to relate the topics and learning
to their daily activities

Are you ready to conduct your training now?

Well... If you have

____ Gone this far and read previous chapters
____ Clarified your roles and functions and understood ERPAT in its
entirety
____ Engaged people in your local government to support you in
implementing ERPAT
____ Organized your core group of fathers to assist you in your training
____ Arranged your venue, its physical set up and the facilities
____ Followed-up and confirmed invitations to your target father-
participants
____ Scanned this chapter, made and prepared your training materials e.g.
visual supports and workshop materials
____ Arranged food (when available)
____ Identified and mobilized other resources and logistics
____ Identified, organized, invited and confirmed the coming of your
resource speakers (when needed)
____ Assured and told yourself that you are able and willing to do this
training

Then, you must be VERY ready!

Good luck on your ERPAT training!

PRELIMINARY SESSION

Title: Situation of Filipino Fathers

This session helps us to be aware of the
current situation(s) of fathers in our
community. This will deepen our
understanding of issues affecting role
performance.

Estimated Time: 45 minutes

Objectives:
The participants shall be able to:
1. Analyze current situations of Filipino
fathers.
2. Review current beliefs, practices and
concepts about fathering.
3. Discuss gender issues prevailing and affecting members of the
family.

Methodology: Group Sharing/Discussion
Transparency picture of a Father and a Mother

Your Key Learning Points
There are basic attributes between a man and a woman. There are also
prevailing expectations as to how men and women should think and
behave. These expectations form the gender roles.
Sex refers to biologically determined differences between men and
women.
Gender roles are the set of social norms that dictate what is socially
defined as appropriate female and male behavior.
Gender roles are learned behaviors in a given society/community or
other social group that condition which activities, tasks and
responsibilities are perceived as male and female.
Gender roles are affected by age, class, race, ethnicity, religion or other
ideologies, geographical, economic and political environment
Men and women differ from each other physically, emotionally and
socially. Physical differences are referred to as Sex while social
differences are referred to as Gender
Materials:
Metacards, Pen markers, Masking tape,

Gender likewise are the values and norms that support and perpetrate
the belief in mens dominant status and natural aggressiveness and in
womens subordinate status and role in the family and in the society as
a whole.
Fathers are perceived as symbols of strength and power in the family.
Fathers are the familys main source of authority. The breadwinner, the
decision-maker and the foundation of the family. They are the
disciplinarians and the ones who commit more forms of abuse as
inherent to their characteristics as they exercise their power and
authority over their family members.
Mothers meanwhile are perceived more as weak but loving persons.
They are more emotional and do support the decisions of the father as
the head of the family. Their roles are confined in the household
responsibilities including rearing and caring for children and other family
members. Because of their inherent characteristics, they are more
prone to be abused in the family including the very young children.
To create a wholesome and positive family life, the parents, the father
and the mother have collaborative roles to perform. In performing
responsibilities at home or in the family, one should assess ones
capacities and abilities rather than on ones biological characteristics to
achieve a shared familial roles and responsibilities, shared decision-
making and a shared vision and hope for the family.

Activity:

1. Group the participants (5-7 members / group)
2. Ask them to discuss the characteristics of fathers they observe in
their own families, neighborhood or community.
3. Use the following guide questions:
What do you observe about fathers in your community?
Can you differentiate characteristics, identities and role
expectations of the fathers and the mothers?
What values and beliefs are attached to fathering?

4. Ask them to write their responses in the newsprint or metacards if
not ask a volunteer from the group to share a summary report of
their discussion.

Alternative Activity:

1. Post the word FATHER and MOTHER on the board
2. Under those words, place the word male under the father and the
word female under the mother.

3. Provide the participants with metacards and ask them to think of
any word that relate to the two basic words.
4. Ask the participants to post or write their responses in the board.

Your trainees output can look like this;

Processing:

1. Point out the differences between sex and gender.
2. Point out the differences and similarities between the father as a
male and the mother as female.
3. Synthesize responses.

Application:

End the introductory session by singing:

FAMILY
F is for my father and M is for my mother I love you. (2x)
I love you in the morning and in the afternoon
I love you in the evening, underneath the moon Oh!
F is for my Father and M is for my mother
Family

FATHER
Male
MOTHER
Female
Strong Weak
Big body Loving
Handsome Beautiful
Mason Laundrywoman
Carpenter Manicurist
Authoritative Beautician
Domineering Sexy
Muscles Long hair
Hard Clear skin
Vices Vices
Head of the family Ilaw ng Tahanan

MODULE I
UNDERSTANDING MYSELF AS A PERSON

SESSION 1:
Understanding Myself

When we talk of philosophy, we simply mean of
searching for meaning. In this session we will attempt
to define the meaning of mans existence in relation to
his environment. Who we are and what makes us
different from other creatures on earth.

Estimated Time: 1 hour

Objectives:
At the end of the session, participants shall be able
to:
1. Attain awareness and discover oneself as a
person
2. Find meaning of ones existence in relation to
his environment

Methodology:
Collage-making
Individual Reflection
Lecture-Discussion

Key Learning Points:
1. You are a rationale being. You have the capability to think and
recognize what is right and wrong. You use your capability in honing
your qualities. You have rights to act on improving and fulfilling your
aspirations in life. But rights have accompanying responsibilities
towards yourself, others and God.
2. Your values, personality traits, childhood experiences, personal and
family goals affect your characteristics as a person and more
importantly, your role as a father. You are a unique person and able
to relate with others.
3. You have a specific purpose and mission in life and that purpose and
mission provides meaning and direction in your life.
4. Knowing yourself and knowing your own strengths and weaknesses
is the first step in becoming an effective father. Realizing your own
limitations helps you consider things that will affect you in performing
your role as a father. You build yourself up by enhancing your
strengths and working on your limitations and weaknesses.
Materials:
Old
newspapers/
colorful
magazines,
paste,
newsprint,
scissors
Alternative
Materials:
Clay

Activity:
1. Ask the participants to group themselves into six or eight and provide
them materials to make a collage
2. Ask them to use the old newspaper and magazines and make a
collage based on their groups interpretation of what a man is and
what to them is the meaning of being a man.
3. Clay can be alternative used. For the use of clay, ask them to make
forms, shapes or objects that will represent a man.
4. Assign a leader who will facilitate sharing in the group. Using the
following as guide questions:
a. What do you think is man made of?
b. What makes you happy?
c. What makes your life meaningful and complete?
5. A group leader shall be assigned to each group to note responses of
participants on the meaning of man based on their own
knowledge/perception.
6. Each group takes turn in presenting their collage or their clay images
7. Allow clarification session among participants to deepen the
discussion of the meaning of man.

Processing:
1. After each group had reported, process the whole activity by first
summarizing their outputs.
2. Highlight significant points that they raised and connect them to
your learning points.
3. Synthesize all inputs and stress the value of openness to life
experiences, importance of reflections for growth and directions,
and appreciation of oneself and other persons.

Applications:

Play the song Sino Ako and let the participants reflect on the meaning of
the Song.

1. While playing the song, help the participants reflect by leading them
to a closing prayer.

2. The closing prayer should highlight on the meaning of each
trainees existence as a father, as a husband, as a son, as a
community volunteer and as a leader and as a person.

SINO AKO
Hiram sa Diyos and aking Buhay
Ikaw at akoy tanging Handog lamang
Di ko ninais na akoy isilang
Ngunit salamat dahil may buhay

Ligaya ko na akoy isilang
Pagkat tao ay mayroong dangal
Sinong may pag-ibig, sinong nagmamahal
Kung hindi ay tao, Diyos ang pinagmulan

Kung hindi ako umibig
Kung hindi ko man bigyang halaga
Ang buhay kong handog
Ang buhay koy hiram sa Diyos
Kung hindi ako nagmamahal
Sino Ako?

SESSION 2:
Building Positive Self-Esteem as a Father

What does self-esteem mean to a father?
How important is ones role particularly the
role of a father? How does self-esteem affect
his relationships with his family? In this
session, we will be exploring how our self-
esteem develops and how it affects us as a
person and as a father.


Objective:
The participants should be able to demonstrate a build-
up of positive self-esteem, as a pre-requisite to effective
fathering.

Methodology:
Structured Learning Exercise (River of Life)
Lecture-Discussion

Self-esteem is how a person feels and thinks about himself. It may be
positive and it may be negative.
Self-esteem develops overtime. However, it constantly changes.
Positive experiences and fulfilling relationships can help raise self-
esteem. Negative experiences and troubled relationships contribute to
low self-esteem.
Factors that influence ones self-esteem are our early childhood
experiences, personal relationships in the home, school, community,
jobs, and patterns of social life.
Self-esteem is very important because it has a direct bearing on ones
life particularly as a father. Fathers with high self-esteem are more
productive and fully functioning than those who have low self-esteem
and have no direction in life.
A person with high self-esteem has self-respect. He values himself.
However, a person with a low self-esteem is an insecure person. He
doesnt see his value or worth.
To consider ones self-esteem, one must start to look first at himself,
and build on ones self-esteem and ones strengths. The more positive
attributes and attitudes one has with his children and other members of
the family, the more positive relations will be in his own family.
Materials:
Newsprint,
Marking pens,
sample
drawing of
River of Life

To improve ones self-esteem, one must begin at accepting oneself
ones weaknesses and strengths. There is a need to praise oneself and
nurture the feeling of love and trust.
Learn to value your abilities and be realistic in assessing yourself.

Activity: River of My Life
1. Present a picture (drawn and outlined) of a river on a manila paper
to the participants.
2. Ask them to individually draw their own river on a sheet of brown
paper and as they draw ask them to work on the following
questions:
a. When are my happiest moments in life?
b. How do early experiences affect me now as a father?
c. How significant is my own father in influencing the river
of my life?
d. How does the flow of the river affect my self- esteem
and me as a person?
3. You may ask participants to incorporate sharing of previous session
in this activity.
4. Process the activity and synthesize learning and insights of the
participants.

Processing:
1. Relate the importance of knowing ones self as a requirement in
improving and building ones self-esteem as a prerequisite to
effective fathering/parenting.
2. Elicit learning from the activity and provide inputs based on your key
learning points.

Application:
1. Give each trainee two sheets of paper
2. Ask the trainees to draw a heart and write all their positive traits and
pin this on their chest to be shown to other participants.
3. On the other sheet of paper, ask the trainees to write all their
negative traits and collect these negative traits and burn to
symbolize its insignificance (please do ensure safety) while the
group forms a circle singing the song, A Time to Change or any
song related to it.

MODULE II
ACCEPTING YOUR ROLE AS A FATHER

SESSION 1:
Importance of a Father Image

What is the male factor? Fathers
special participation on the rearing of
children contributes to the well-
rounded development of their sons and
daughters. Research shows that extra
love and attention they get from having
a closely involved father as well as a
close and loving mother provides/leads
child to develop social skills ahead of
their schedule. But what does it really
mean to be a father? How important is
your presence to your children as their
father? Many fathers know what they
dont want to do as a father from their own childhood experiences. But
they likewise are not sure of what they should do. In this session, we will
be discovering your own perception of being a father.

Estimated time: 1 hour and 20 minutes

Objectives:

1. Understand the meaning of Fatherhood.
2. Appreciate the importance of Male Factor to Children

Methodology:
Brainstorming
Buzz Session/Group Discussion
Lecture


A. Definition of Fatherhood
Fatherhood means becoming an active partner in performing a major
educational role in child growth and development. It means getting to
know them and sharing who you are as a person. It means spending time
and making the most of the time you spend with them. It means taking an
active interest and involvement in all the aspects of your childs growth
social, emotional, intellectual, physical, spiritual and language
development.
Materials:
Metacards
Masking
tape
Pen
Markers

B. Importance of Father Image in the Child

A noted sociologist, Dr. David Propenoe is one of the pioneers of the
relatively young field of research into fathers and fatherhood
1
. A father
image is important to the child because

Primary source of influence to children
Fathers special participation contributes to the well-rounded
development of their children
Fathers have a direct impact on the well-being of their children
A number of studies suggest that fathers who are involved, nurturing
and playful with their infants have children with higher IQs, as well as
better linguistic and cognitive capacities
Even from birth, children who have an involved father are more likely to
be emotionally secure, be confident to explore surroundings, and as
they grow older, have better social connections with peers

Activity:
1. Ask the participants to group themselves into 6 or 8 and
brainstorm on the following:
a. What does it mean to be a father?
b. How important is my being a father to my child?
c. What are the hindrances that keep me away and unable
to relate with my child?
2. Hand out metacards, marking pens and masking tape where they
can write their responses.
3. To deepen the sharing of participants, ask them to relax and sit
comfortably.
4. Ask them to meditate on the present relationship with their family
guided by the following statements:

Based on your experiences as a father, recall little moments you
spent with your child. How often do you play with your child? How
much available time do you spend with them to listen to their
thoughts, feelings and desires? Do you care for them enough to
provide the necessary nurturance they expect from you? Do you
tunein to their feelings, enabling and helping them to become
aware of and able to express their feelings towards you?

5. Again, ask the participants to write their responses on metacards.
6. Ask each group to present their discussion outputs in the plenary.

1
http://www.childwelfare.gov/pubs/usermanuals/fatherhood/chaptertwo.cfm

7. Allow an open forum to clarify and deepen the discussion and
help participants internalize the topic.

Processing:

1. Allow sufficient time for exchange of ideas and feelings during the
plenary session.
2. Accommodate clarification and sharing of experiences in the
plenary to deepen the discussion.
3. Be sure though that the focus of discussion will be on the
importance of being a father to their children.
4. Using your key learning points, stress that there is no recipe and
there is no one right way to be a father. What is important is to
work out what is going to work for you. How do you work it out will
depend on the following:
a. What do you expect to do as a father?
b. What does your wife expect from you as a father to your
children?
c. The way you and your partner balance work and family
responsibilities.
d. The good things that you want to pass on from what your own
father did.
e. Quality time spent with your children.
f. The things that you see other fathers do.
g. What your childrens wants and needs are.

Application:
1. Ask the participant to individually work on the question: What shall I
do to fulfill my role as a father to my children and as a husband to my
wife?
2. In a circle, each trainee take turns in sharing their individual answers
to the group
3. End the activity with a prayer for fathers.

SESSION 2:
Development of Paternal Identity

Mens early and ongoing relationships with
their fathers affect and shape the intimacy
in their own family life. Their experiences
shape their strengths and weaknesses in
their adult life, equally important are the
patterns they have acquired which will
serve as their basis in establishing
relationship in their own family life.


Objective:
The participants shall be able to acquire knowledge and express
understanding of the process of developing paternal identity.

Methodology:
Group Sharing
Lecture/Discussion

Fatherhood is a lifelong process.
While either parent can do parenting, children still have different
experiences with their fathers from that of their mothers.
The kind of experience that children have with their fathers will greatly
depend on the kind of relationship that they have with one another.
This emotional attachment is established as the father becomes
involved during the exploration and integration stage of the
children throughout their development cycle.
Stages in the development of attachment involves attachment which
starts as early as during pregnancy and when the father becomes
emotionally engrossed with his new born baby.
Psychological emotional bonding is deepened with the childs
growth and development.
Fatherhood means spending more of his free time with the child.
There is a shift of values and priorities. Fathers now stay more at
home and spend time alone with the child to meet the demands of
childcare instead of staying outside with friends. He shares his
Materials:
Acetate, Cartolina,
Pen Markers
Acetate Pens

strengths and vulnerabilities as well as his hopes and aspirations to
his children.
Fathers also need to ensure that they still have a space, peace and
quiet hour for himself to nurture his own sense of individuality.

Activity:
1. In a plenary ask the participants to describe their relationship with
their own fathers.

2. Follow up by asking if they find it easy to relate to their own
fathers when they were children and now as adults?

3. Form the participants into triads and ask them to discuss their
individual experiences focusing on the kind of relationship they
had with their own fathers and how this relationship developed.
Use the following guide questions:

a. What kind of relationship did I have with my father?
b. Am I very close with my father?
c. Do we communicate regularly with one another? Who
initiates the communication between us?
d. Do I share common interests? Hobbies? Music? etc
e. How did my father affect and shape my way of relating
with my own children now?
Stages in a fathers life that lead to the development of paternal
identity (Prepare this on Acetate or Cartolina and Use as Visual Aid)

At 3-4 years old, the child starts to look for masculine identity
At the age of five the child begins to segregate father and mother by sex
As the child becomes older (middle childhood years), he is focused at following
rules rather than strengthen his relationship
At adolescent, he is more at game of power, strengths and achievements. He
tends to repress his wishes to be held and to be taken cared of and cuddled, but
there are still inner longings/desires to have his father around ready to support and
provide care and nurturance.
If the male child is hardly able to receive warmth and soft nurturance from his own
father the child develops a sense of loss that extends into adulthood.
So that when he reaches his adult stage, the male child tries to resolve guilt,
shame and anger in silence and unable to perform his role as a husband or a
father

Processing:

1. Process the activity by getting their responses in each of the
questions above.
2. Write key responses in the board by item as numbered above.
3. Synthesize using your key learning points and presenting your
prepared transparency or cartolina.

Application:

1. Ask the participants to identify ways they could enhance their
relationship with their children.
2. Ask them to write one or two strategies to enable their own
children to learn more about them as a person thus enabling both
of them and their children to develop closer relationship.
3. Ask them to write these on metacards and place them in their
chests.
4. Ask them to walk around and share it with other participants.
5. An alternative approach will be to post all the metacards in the
board and have each item be read by the participants.

SESSION 3:
Knowing and Understanding Your Role as a Father.

How can a father find joy and satisfaction in
guiding his child from infancy to adulthood?

In these rapidly changing times, there is a need
to define ones role as a father. Contrast to the
role of our fathers twenty-five years ago,
fathers as the main breadwinner of the family is
no longer true as evidenced by the rising cases
of female overseas workers and female
working full time in local jobs.

Children are now more exposed to new and different information,
technology and changing culture.

Hence, fathers need to learn new skills and knowledge, perhaps a revived
attitude in relating and responding to their paternal tasks and
responsibilities.

Estimate Time: 45 minutes

Objective:
Participants shall be able to identify specific
responsibilities of fathers.

Methodology:
Group Sharing
Lecture-Discussion


Fatherhood is becoming an active partner in assuming the major
educational role in child growth and development.

Roles of Fathers in the Family (Prepare on acetate or cartolina- Article
46 Child and Youth Welfare Code (PD 603).

Affection, companionship and understanding
Moral guidance, self-discipline and religious instructions
Supervision, activities and recreation
Inculcate positive values
Stimulate interest in civic affairs
Set a good example
Provide adequate support

Liabilities of Parents
Conceal or abandon the child with intent to make such child lose
his/her civil status.
Sell or abandon the child to another person for valuable
consideration.
Neglect the child by not giving him/her the education which the
familys situation in life and financial conditions permit.
Fail or refuse to enroll the child as required by Article 72 of PD 603.
Cause, abet, permit the truancy of the child from the school where
he/she is enrolled.
Improperly exploit the child by using him/her for purposes of begging
and other acts which are inimical to his/her interest and welfare.
Inflict cruel and unusual punishment upon the child which causes or
encourages the child to lead an immoral or dissolute life.
Permit the child to possess or carry deadly weapons.
Materials:

Prepared
question, 1
cartolina or
acetate, copy
of PD 603

Penalty: 2 months to 6 months for light offense

Activity:
1. Present the written questionnaire on the board and ask each
participant to respond to the questions using the metacards:
a. What are the roles of my father? How did he perform his
role as a father?
b. What are the tasks and responsibilities corresponding to
these roles?
c. How does he relate with his family?
d. What are the problems I encountered with my father in
terms of his role performance?
2. After each participant has individually responded to the questions.
Group them into six to eight members and ask them to share their
responses with the group.

Processing:
1. Ask each participant to report on their discussions using their
metacards as visual aids.
2. Linking these answers using your key learning points.

Application:
1. Ask the participants to identify their roles, which they think
strengthen in their family and write these down on a sheet of
paper.
2. Each sheet of paper shall be entitled My roles as a father that I
need to Strengthen

MODULE III
BECOMING YOUR WIFES BESTFRIEND

SESSION 1:
Difference Between Sex and Gender

What is sex, what is gender? How does one
differ from the other? This is the main content
of this session and through simple exercise
provided every woman shall appreciate the key
distinction between gender and sex.

Estimated Time: 1 Hour

Objectives:
At the end of the session, the participants should be able to:

Differentiate sex from gender
Make women appreciate the difference between sex and
gender

Methodology:
Individual Exercise
Lecture/Discussion


1. Sex is a natural distinguishing
variable based on biological
characteristics of being a man or a woman. It refers to physical
attributes pertaining to a persons body contour, features,
genitals, hormones, genes, chromosomes and reproductive
organs. Sex differences between men and women are biological.
2. Gender refers to the socially differentiated roles, characteristics
and expectations attributed by culture to women and men. It
identifies the social behavior of women and men and the
relationship between them. Gender roles and attributes are
natural or biologically given.
3. Sex is biological fact, while gender is a social construct. Sex is a
natural attribute that a person is born with. Gender, on the other
hand, is created, produced, reproduced, and maintained by
Materials:
Handouts,
Powerpoint,
LCD, Laptop
Whiteboard
marker,
Pentel pen,
Masking tape

social institutions, a process otherwise referred to as the social
construction of gender. Because gender roles, attitudes,
behaviors, characteristics and expectations are learned, they can
be unlearned.

Activity:
Word Association Exercise
1. Tell the participants that they have 20 minutes to do this exercise.
2. Divide the participants equally into two groups. Assign the word
female to the first group and the word male to the second
group.
3. Instruct the two groups to form a line and face the board (or
newsprint) that is divided into two columns, one for female and
the other column for male.
4. Tell the participants to write on the board (or newsprint) what is
being asked pertaining to the word assigned to them. The first
participant on the line writes one idea and he needs to pass on
the chalk or marker to the participant next to him until everybody
on their line has written their answer based on what is being
asked. They should do this as quickly as possible.
5. Ask the following:
a. First round Things that are being used by a male or a
female
b. Second round Places where a female or a male goes to
c. Third round Food that a female or a male eats
d. Fourth round Activities that a female or a male can do
e. Fifth round Body parts of a female or a male

Processing:
1. Ask the participants the following questions:

a. Affective Level
While you are answering the questions/instruction given
by the facilitator, what was your reaction?

b. Cognitive Level
Are the ideas you have written on the board (newsprint) for
female only? For male only? Or can be for both?

Note to Facilitator:
Discussion on Islamic perspective may be included depending on the
background of the participants

The facilitator will do this as he/she examines every word
written on the board (newsprint) and make notes on what
are for female, for male, and for both.

What is your insights/learning from the exercise?

2. Synthesize the results of the exercise and proceed to the discussion
of the Key Learning Points.

Application:

For the participants to start to re-assess their perception of women based
on the concept of sex and gender.

SESSION 2:
Understanding the Difference between Men and Women

How does a man differ from a woman?
In this session we will attempt to
explore the difference between a man
and a woman. We will try to recall how
you differ with your spouse on the
different aspects of your relationships
such as, the way each of you cope with
problems, communicate with each
other, use language and express your
feelings.


Objectives:
The participants shall be able to demonstrate and
express awareness of the difference between a man
and a woman as basis in relating with their wives.

Methodology:
Buzz Group Discussion
Modified Role-Play
Lecture-Discussion

Materials:
Manila paper
Cartolina, pen
markers


Differences between Men and Women
(You can photocopy and distribute handouts)

Sense of Self
Mans sense of self is defined though his ability to achieve results.
To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume he doesnt know what
to do or that he cant do it on his own. Generally speaking, when a
woman offers unsolicited advice or tries to help a man, she has no
idea of how critical and unloving she may sound to him.
A womans sense of self is defined through her feelings and the
quality of her relationships. A woman being able to share all her
feelings to her husband will be contented and satisfied. But a man
thinking of helping interrupts this stress releasing activity of a woman
by offering immediate solution to her problem.

John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus,
points out the following
2
:

1. Coping with Stress
To feel better, men go to their caves to solve problem alone
To feel better, women get together and openly talk about their
problems.
A woman under stress is not immediately concerned with finding
solutions to her problems but rather seeks relief by expressing
herself and being understood. At times, to forget her own painful
feelings, a woman may become emotionally involved in the
problems of others.
Just as a man is fulfilled through working out the intricate details
of solving a problem, a woman is fulfilled through talking about the
details of her problems.

2. Ways of Motivating
Men are motivated and empowered when they feel needed and
women are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished.
Therefore not to be needed is a slow death for men.

2
http://passthrough.fw-
notify.net/download/452465/http://www.cleargoalscoaching.com/wp-
content/uploads/2011/06/Men-are-from-Mars-and-Women-Venue-1.pdf

A mans deepest fear is that he is not good enough or that he is
incompetent. Therefore it is difficult for a man to listen to a woman
when she is unhappy or disappointed because he feels like a
failure.
Just as women are afraid of receiving, men are afraid of giving.

3. Speaking Different Languages
Both men and women languages have the same words, but the
ways they are used have different meanings.
To fully express their feelings, women assume poetic licenses to
use various superlatives, metaphors and generalizations.
The number one complaint of women in a relationship is: I dont
feel heard! But men misunderstand even this complaint.
The biggest challenge for women is to interpret correctly and
support a man when he isnt talking.

4. Man Intimacy Cycle
When a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away
before he can get closer. They are like rubber bands. At times
they need to pull away again to regain back their sense of
autonomy and independence.
When a man physically pulls himself away, she physically follows
him.
When a man emotionally pulls himself away, she emotionally
follows him more. She may also try to pull him back mentally by
asking him guilt-inducing questions.

5. Mood of Women
A womans self-esteem rises and falls like a wave. When she hits
bottom, it is a time for emotional housecleaning.
In relationships, men pull back and then get closer, while women
rise and fall in their ability to love themselves and others.
Even when a man is succeeding in supporting a woman, she may
become even more upset. The negative feelings of women should
not be suppressed otherwise the positive feelings become
suppressed as well.
Men argue for the right to be free while women argue for the right
to be upset. Men want space while women want understanding.
Therefore by supporting her need to be heard, she could support
his need to be free.

6. Emotional Needs
Fulfilling a primary need is required before one is able fully to
receive and appreciate the other kinds of love.
A woman needs care and a man needs trust.
She needs understanding and he needs appreciation.
She needs devotion and he needs admiration.
She needs validation and he needs approval.
She needs reassurance and he needs encouragement.

Activity:
1. Group the participants into two groups separating the men from
the women. (If all participants are males, ask one group to answer
the womens point of view).
2. Each group to work on the following questions:
a. What do you like most about wife?
b. What do you dislike most about wife?
3. Ask the group to assign a reporter and a leader. The reporter
writes all responses of the participants on Manila paper while the
leader facilitates the group discussion and sharing.
4. Each group presents their discussion outputs in the plenary.

Processing:
1. While a group reports in the plenary, take note of the important
issues they raise.
2. Allow sufficient time for clarifications and sharing to deepen the
discussion.
3. Elicit the learning and insights from the participants.
4. Using your Key Learning Points, lead the participants insights
into understanding the difference between a man and a woman in
relation with one another.

Application:
1. Ask the participants to identify one personality attribute of their
wives that they like most and one attribute or characteristic that
they hate most.
2. In the attribute that they hate most, ask them what they can do so
that it will not irritate them anymore.
3. Ask the participants to write them on metacards and post them on
the board for everybody to see and learn from.
4. End the session with the following statement:

Knowing your wife more will make you more effective as a
husband.

SESSION 3:
Improving Relationship with my Wife

Prerequisite to effective fathering is a
stable and harmonious relationship with
the mother of the child, no less but your
wife. But how can a husband and his wife
be a friend to one another in its real
sense?

Estimated time: 90 minutes

Objective:
The participants shall be able to discuss the
different factors that affect their marital
relationship.

Methodology:
Brainstorming/Sharing
Role Playing
Lecture Discussion
Alternative Methodology Film Showing

Causes may step from the innate quality of a man and a woman on
how they relate to one another based on their biological, emotional
and mental characteristics as well as cultural and social backgrounds.
What values they ascribe to and believe in.
The way they relate to one another as they interact as husband and
wife.
Causes of conflict are due to deviations from the exercise of socially
assigned roles of women and men as well as children in the family.
These may be as follow:
o Inability to provide for the needs of family. Wife/husbands
incapability to perform her/his reproductive and
productive roles.
o Men and women vices.
o Other undesirable behaviors.
Particularly in how they communicate with each other such as often
resorting to:
o Blaming- the tendency to blame always the spouse.
o Placating one who keeps saying yes but deep inside is
not (just to pacify).
Materials:

Manila paper
Pens
Pencils
Mirror

o Computing the tendency to count on others mistake
repeatedly.
o Distracting the one who keeps on speaking or nagging
but not coming deep from the heart and mind.

Conflict in husband-wife relationship may result to:
o Husband/wife relationship
- Reticence/silence
- Withholding of economic support
- Refusal to talk, dialogue/respond on each
actions needs
- Marital violence
- Sexual problems
o To children
- Aggressive/undesirable behaviors
- Confusion
- Low self-esteem
- Shame/embarrassment
- Hatred
- Early sexual involvement
- Low academic performance/drop-out

Activity:

1. Ask the participants to group into two. (Same grouping as the
preceding activity - men and women)
2. Ask each group to identify marital obligations of a husband (group
1) and a wife (group 2)
3. Encourage sharing of beliefs, myths and family practices in
husband and wife relationship.
4. Provide the following as discussion guides:
a. What are your wifes obligations?
b. What are your obligations as husband?
c. How do we perform our marital obligations?
d. How do we improve?
5. Ask them to write their responses in Manila Paper

Processing:
1. Ask the participants to report their group output in the plenary.
2. Encourage open discussion and clarification, as this will deepen
the discussion on the topic.
3. Provide highlights of the two group outputs and compare each
others responses.

4. Elicit learning from the participants and use your key learning
points.

Application:
1. Let the participants sit in a circle.
2. Provide participants with two pieces of paper and ask them to
answer the following questions:
a. What is the best thing that I like in me?
b. What is the best thing that I like in the person to my left?
c. What is the best thing that I like in the person to my right?
3. Once done, pass around a mirror and each one takes turn to talk
to ones self while looking at the mirror (for the first question); and
look directly to the person to ones right and left for the second
and third questions.
4. Elicit their feelings and insights by asking the participants the
following questions:
a. What did you feel in the exercise?
b. What did you feel when you say directly to yourself the
attributes that you like best in yourself?
c. What did you feel when you received positive remarks
from those beside you?
d. What did you learn and discover in the exercise?
5. Synthesize the insights of participants and elicit other ways that
they think would improve husbands relationship with their wife.

Ways to Improve Husband-Wife Relationship
(Photocopy and distribute as hands-out)

1. Build each others self-esteem through:
a. Praising/mutual affirmation giving of positive remarks
and affirming ones strengths, skills, knowledge and other
positive attributes sincerely and honestly.
b. Focusing on the positives to help boost each others self-
esteem.
c. Mutual understanding and respect/trust
2. Man-Woman Roles
a. Sharing of roles, mutual cooperation and service - sharing
of familial roles and responsibilities according to ones
expertise and interest.
b. Commitment to the family - responding to paternal tasks
and responsibilities.
3. Marital Communication Process
a. Dialogue-language of the heart loving confrontation
focused on ones feelings and expectations.
b. Use of leveling in communication which means giving
the other person information and making him/her
understand about your thoughts and feelings, rather than
expecting her or him to read your mind.
c. Satisfying sexual relation/sex as a form of
communication.
4. Religion in Deed
a. Practice of ones religion leading the family in spirituality
5. Others
a. Know how ones partner move
b. Readiness to ask for and forgive
c. Resolving problems at the early stage
d. Focusing on the problem (dont talk about previous ones)
e. Own faults and mistakes
f. Cease from vices
g. Seek counseling advice
h. Set house rules or family rules
i. Continuously clarify marital expectations
j. Keep up the romance

SESSION 4:
Sexuality in Marriage

Human sexuality plays a major role in marriage. The sexual life of a
couple is very crucial in building and sustaining marriage. Every couple
should learn the important elements of sexuality, to be able to appreciate
more that sexuality is not just a biological aspect of marital life rather as a
high form of communication, deep way of expressing ones love and
commitment to each other. But couples likewise need to understand the
very basic of sexuality to be able to appreciate the important role it plays
in marital life.


Objectives:
1. Discuss the elements of human sexuality.
2. Discuss the importance of sexuality in
enhancing marital life.

Methodology:
Group Sharing
Lecture/Discussion

Materials:
Paper, pens,
pencils, Manila
paper, picture of
the anatomy of a
man a woman

Understanding basic characteristics and differences between men
and women, particularly in sex is necessary to make and keep a
successful marriage.
Open and honest discussion about sex and sexual issues to improve
communication in sexual relationship
Couples should be aware as well of their reproductive capacity, and to
control and regulate it as guided by their sense of responsibilities.
Sexuality is an integral part of the personality of everyone: man,
woman and child; it is a basic need and aspect of being human that
cannot be separated from other aspect of life. (World Health
Organization, 1975). It is the totality of being: the projection of
maleness/femaleness.
Hence, couples may express their sexuality biologically and non-
biologically. From wide range of intimate sexual expression- from
holding hands, hugging, kissing, massaging, dancing or doing the sex
act itself to a simple touch to express simple affection, to
communication.
A mutually satisfactory sexual relationship promotes successful
marriage. It is important to know the different stages of the sexual act
to become aware of the more satisfactory way/responses to achieve
or fulfill sexual responsibilities in marriage.

Activity:
1. Post the picture (anatomy) of the man and a woman on the board
and ask the participants to label their parts to have a clear picture
of the anatomy of a man and a woman.
2. Divide the participants into five to six members per group and ask
them to discuss the sexual characteristics of a man and a woman.
3. Ask them to make two columns in the newsprint provided to them
and label the first column, MAN and second column WOMAN.
4. Ask them to highlight the differences between men and women in
the attitudes and practice of sex.
5. Ask them to share their outputs in the plenary.

Processing:
1. Process the activity by adding more to their output focusing on areas
that have not been discussed based on the matrix below:

MAN WOMAN
Easily aroused (smell, sight,
imagination, not necessarily by
direct stimulation), reaches
sexual satisfaction in a shorter
time, his feelings settle down in
much shorter time.
3

Longer time to get sexually
aroused more by direct
stimulation of erotic parts. Longer
for her to reach sexual peak and
for her feelings to subdue.
Easier for man to deal with
sexual frustrations, it is more
localized and can easily be
forgotten.
Repeated sexual frustration is
difficult for a woman.
Sexual desire reaches its peak
in late teens to late twenties
then, it goes downhill and
slightly go up to mid-40s and
50s. Sex and love can exist
independently of the other. Use
of sex as means of satisfying a
great physical hunger-a
physical need that can exist
even without love.
Average women does not achieve
sexual peak till she is in her 30s
and retains this ability into her
60s.

Looks and expects more beyond
just the sexual relationship alone.
Think of sex more in terms of
love, care and security and not
just a means to physical
satisfaction.

2. Synthesize the above and connect them to your key learning points.

Activity:
1. Ask the participants to maintain the groupings that they have
formed and ask them to discuss the stages of the sexual act and
the practice of healthy and safe habits in sex. Guide them with the
following questions:
a. How to initiate and improve communication in sexual
relationship
b. What are the stages of the sexual act?
c. What should a couple do or observe to achieve a
mutually satisfying relationship?
2. Ask the participants to write their responses on the newsprint for
presentation in the plenary.

3
http://www.hidingthetruth.com/articles/do-women-really-hit-their-sexual-prime-
in-their-30s.html

Processing:
1. Synthesize responses of participants by focusing first on the first
questions and then to the second question.
2. Highlight commonalities and differences of their responses and
provide or link them to your last key learning point.
3. Stress that knowing the above stages, it is important to know what
ones partner wants to do or how would you want him/her to
behave so that one may achieve a mutually satisfactory sexual
relationship.

Application:
1. Ask the participants to pause for a moment and define the areas
each one needs to work on to enhance ones sexual life.
2. Then ask them to identify appropriate ways to strengthen their
marital sex life.
3. Allow time for buzz session and end the session with a prayer.

STAGES OF THE SEX ACT
(Copy on Acetate or big Brown Paper)

1. MUTUAL CONSENT is a pre-requisite to a good start and signals
the readiness of both parties.

2. FOREPLAY involves kissing and fondling

3. AROUSAL of erogenous parts manifested by a fully erect penis
for men and hardened nipples and vaginal secretion for women.

4. PENETRATION is the full entrance of the mans penis into the
womans vagina when both are already at the peak of desire.

5. COITUS is the physical joining of the couples bodies
characterized by movement, which causes the penis to rub
against the clitoris and vaginal wall and increase excitement of
the partners.

6. ORGASM is the moment of intense sexual pleasure. In men, this
is accompanied by ejaculation of semen. In women, it is marked
by a sudden muscle contractions throughout the vaginal and
clitoris.

7. RELAXATION sets in when the mans penis becomes flaccid or
soft after the sex act.

8. AFTER PLAY is an opportunity for the man and woman to affirm
their affection for each other by kissing or embracing each other.
They may say to each other thank you and or I love you.

Personal relationships deteriorate when what is needed and wanted is not
expressed; the resulting frustrations build up and result in increasing
anxiety and upset. This is particularly likely to occur with sexual
relationships, when problems or disagreements about sexual issues are
not discussed openly and honestly. If this is the case in your personal life,
then here's how to go about improving matters
4

4
http://www.trans4mind.com/relationships/page11.html

Break the Ice
Talk with your partner about why it's hard to talk about sex.
Share earlier experiences with talking about sex.
Begin by discussing less threatening topics such as birth control,
sex education, etc.
Gradually move toward discussing more personal feelings and
concerns.
Read and discuss material if it seems easier than spontaneously
talking about personal matters.
Share your sexual histories including such areas as sex
education, first experience with sexuality, etc.
Listen and Provide Feedback
Active listening helps to show you are interested in what your
partner is saying. Ask questions and make brief comments to help
increase your understanding of what is being said.
Maintaining eye contact displays caring and validation.
Reflect back to your partner what you have understood them to
say. This conveys active listening and an interest in
understanding.
Be supportive of your partner's efforts to communicate.
A statement of appreciation or thanks can go a long way to
strengthening a relationship.
Express "unconditional positive regard." Convey the sense that
you will value your partner regardless of what they communicate
to you.
Discover Your Partner's Needs
Ask open-ended, clarifying and extending questions to gain the
most information about your companion's desires. Your partner
will probably appreciate your concern.
If the subject you are interested in is particularly sensitive, try self-
disclosing first. Self-disclosure will model trust and a willingness
to take risks.
Compare notes on sexual preferences. This can be an effective
way of learning about what does and doesn't stimulate your
partner, and is certainly more efficient than trial and error.
Give your partner permission to talk about his/her feelings.

Learn To Make Requests
Take responsibility for your own pleasure. Realize that people are
not mind readers and genuinely communicate your needs and
desires.
Make requests specific. This will increase the chance that your
wishes will be understood and granted.
Use "I" language. Although it is sometimes difficult to personalize
requests, it is often the best means of getting a positive response.
Delivering Criticism
Be aware of your motivation. Is it based on a constructive desire
to make your relationship better?
Choose the right time and place. Try not to be critical when anger
is at its peak. Give your partner a choice about when he/she
would like to talk. Be aware of your partner's needs when
choosing a location.
Temper criticism with praise. This will reduce the likelihood of
your partner responding in a defensive or angry fashion, and
increase the chances of him/her accepting what you have to say.
Nurture small steps toward change. Be generous with your
support and encouragement of change. Realize that it is normal to
revert back to comfortable patterns which have developed over
time, so don't be too discouraged if there is some backsliding.
Avoid "why" questions. They tend to be perceived as attacking
and hurtful. Better to say 'I don't understand...'
Express your anger appropriately. Direct your anger toward your
partner's behaviors, not his/her character. Don't forget to remind
your partner that you appreciate them as a person. Take
responsibility for your anger.
Your partner cannot make you feel angry, you choose to respond
that way.
The following are the accepted sexual conduct:
(Copy as visual aid on acetate or cartolina)

1. Practice of personal hygiene. Couples should be aware that
cleanliness is good health. Partners should observe good hygiene
before going into sex.

2. Both partners must be certain that they are not infected with
any sexually transmitted disease. The marital act deserves

respect and concern over the welfare of the partner. This concern
tests the dignity of the relationship.

3. Prior to the sex act, both partners must recognize their
respective responsibility to want, love and care for the
offspring that may result from their union. Such recognition
will assure that the childs basic needs will be provided for. An
unloved and unwanted child starts life without human dignity,
which is his birthright.

4. The persons involved in the sex act should have a common
goal or direction in life. The married act is one of the means to
strengthen their relationship and commitment to the welfare of
their family.

5. One partner should never exploit the other. Sexual relationship
is for the mutual satisfaction of both partners. Never should it be
degrading to anyone. Every sexual act therefore should be with
mutual consent of the partners.

SESSION 5:
Responsible Parenthood through Planned Family Size

Planning ones family size is a step forward to ensuring responsible
parenthood. Just how do we view ourselves as responsible parents in
relation to how we plan the size of our families? In this session, we will
take a look at what this really means.

Materials:
Old
Newspapers\and
magazines
Cartolina
Estimated Time: 1 hours

Objectives:
1. Discuss the meaning of responsible
parenthood.
2. Discuss the major philosophy and
concepts related to responsible
parenthood.
3. Articulate the motivating and hindering factors in practicing
responsible parenthood.

Methodology:
Collage-making
Small group discussion
Plenary presentation


Responsible parenthood refers to the will, ability and commitment of
parents to respond to the needs and aspirations of the family and
children more particularly through family planning.
One concern of responsible parenthood is determining the number
and spacing of their children taking into account such factors as
psychological preparedness, health status, socio-cultural and
economic concerns.
The husband and wife should ensure the appropriate number of
children the family can fully support with and provide the necessary
needs such as physical/basic needs, emotional and psychological
support, time and attention/interaction.
The husband and wife should discuss and decide on the number of
children that they should have depending on their financial capability,
time and capability to provide care and attention to ensure that
appropriate care shall be provided to their children.

Activity:
1. Divide the group into sub-groups
2. Ask them to brainstorm on the groups definition of
RESPONSIBLE PARENTHOOD and interpret this definition
through a collage/picture cut outs or drawing.
3. Ask them to list down motivating forces in practicing Responsible
Parenthood.
4. Ask them to list down resistance forces in practicing Responsible
Parenthood.

5. Ask each group to present their output in the plenary.

Processing:
1. Process the activity by asking them the following questions:
a. What are the values behind Responsible Parenthood?
b. How can fathers appreciate the value of Responsible
Parenthood?
c. How can fathers be motivated to practice Responsible
Parenthood?
2. Use your key learning points to discuss the topic further then
present the following:

Motivating Factors in the Practice of Responsible Parenthood
(Copy on acetate of big brown paper)

a. For the Parent
A wish to improve skills in being a father
To save on expenses
To have more time for self/relaxation
To contribute to community welfare
Concern for ones health
To remove fear for unwanted pregnancies
For personal/professional development
For greater control of ones life

b. Outside Forces
Motivators commitment
NGO/GO support
Community support
Family support
Socio-economic forces/realities conducive to
Responsible Parenthood.

Hindering Factors in the Practice of Responsible Parenthood
Ignorance
Inadequate knowledge on effective parenting
Perception of children as security on old age
Perception of women role as child bearer
Past bad experiences
Fear of side effects
Apathy/passivity

Advantages of Child Spacing/Planned Family Size
(Photocopy and give as handouts)

Ensures the health of both mother and child.
Employs time gainfully to meet the growing needs of your
children.
Ensures quality education of children.
It allows more time and attention to nurture family relationship.
Nutrition and food could be adequately meet.
Enhances husband and wife relationship.
Ensures adequate guidance and supervision of children in relation
to desirable socio-cultural values.

Child Spacing allows sufficient time between the birth of the last child
and the new child so that the mother may rest and regain her health
before the subsequent pregnancy.

It is good for the parent who will still be able to enjoy each others
companionship without too many small children incessantly
demanding their attention.
It gives the mother the opportunity to attend to her needs and
provide for her own development.
It is best for the baby who will get the care necessary in the first
few years of his life without a younger sibling competing with
him/her for the limited, effort and resources of his parents.

MODULE IV
FATHERS AS CHILD CAREGIVER

SESISON 1:
Understanding the Developmental Stages of Children

Your vital role as a father in
child-rearing process is
beginning to be valued.
Therefore there is a need to
give more emphasis in the
changes in your role that will
be necessary if you are to
further fulfill your parental
roles and responsibilities. In
this session, we will be
discussing on what you
should know as a father on
how your children grow.


Objective:
The participants shall be able to discuss and understand the stages of
psychosocial development of children.

Methodology:
Workshop
Lecture-Discussion
Audio-visual presentation

(Copy on Manila paper)]

Health Process of Development

0-2 (Infancy) - The child has needs for food, love, rest, recreation,
security and stimulation. If these needs are met, they develop trust in
others, feel valued and have sense that life is good-HOPE.

2-3 (Early Childhood) - Child discovers control of himself through bladder
and vowel, saying no in choosing certain foods, etc. The child develops
sense of autonomy WILL

3-6 (Play Age) - Child discovers that he can do things, climbs, draws,
puzzles together, goes to school, develops friendships. Make things
Materials:
Manila paper
Metacards
Pen markers
Making tape

through crafts. The child develops initiative and a sense of belief in
himself that he can create and be successful SENSE OF PURPOSE.

6-12 (School Age) - The child discovers he is part of society. He can be
part of human society and learn skills that enable him to survive in society.
The child develops industry; has sense that he has a valuable contribution
to others COMPETENCE.

12-19 (Adolescence) - The child discovers his unique values and
personality even within a group of peers and adults; chooses a career.
The man develops sense of identity, a sense of relating to others as he is
accepting and caring for others FIDELITY.

19-40 (Young Adult) - Adult discovers his life becomes better when he
can share and love; chooses partner and has children LOVE.

40-65 (Adult) Discovers that he has life in others, has grandchildren,
enjoys and reaps benefit of parenting and working. Develops generosity,
sense that he has made a positive contribution to the life process
CARE.

65-death (Mature Age) Adult discovers he has had what he wanted in
life, feels contented and satisfied with life process. Develops integrity, a
sense of getting old, coming to terms with death, feel life is worthwhile
WISDOM.

Unhealthy Process of Development

0-2 (Infancy) - Child does not get needs met. Feels hungry, cold and
abandoned MISTRUST.

2-3 (Early Childhood) - Child is punished for wetting, soling his pants,
child is yelled at or abused for not behaving SHAME AND DOUBT.

3-6 (Play Age) - Child is rarely praised; only putdown remarks and/or
punished or ignored/abused. Normal curiosity is discouraged and
mistakes are punished GUILT.

6-12 (School Age) - Child never belongs to anyone. He is not wanted is
not allowed opportunities to develop friendships; abilities are criticized
INFERIORITY.

12-19 (Adolescence) - Child misunderstood abused, cannot develop
values or goals; spend energy in rebelling against family and society
ROLE CONFUSION.

19-40 (Young Adult) - Cannot form successful relationships with others,
and is promiscuous or/and a sense of ISOLATION is developed.

40-65 (Adult) - Experiences disappointments no enjoyment in past life
wishes to begin ones STAGNATION

65-death (Mature Age) Knows he did not get what he want out of life is
depressed, sad and sometimes very ill and in DESPAIR.

Activity:

1. Ask the participants to make groups of six to eight members.

2. Give each group a set of brown paper and marking pens.

3. Ask them to talk about milestones on the developmental stages in
terms of cognitive, language, social, and physical development of
children.

4. Ask them to draw a ladder on a big brown paper with each step of the
ladder assigned to the following/corresponding age levels.
0-2 years old (Infancy)
2-3 years old (Early Childhood)
3-6 years old (Play Age)
6-12 years old (School Age)
12-19 (years old (Adolescence)

5. Provide the following guide questions for the group discussions:
What were my needs as a child in each stage of development?
Did my parents fulfill these needs?
How did I behave in each stage of development?

6. Ask the participants to write their answers on the ladder they drew.

7. Ask them to take turns in presenting their group outputs.

Processing:

1. After the plenary presentations, allow open discussion and sharing, as
this will help fathers internalize the topic.

2. Take note of the highlights of their report and write them on the board
to emphasize important ideas and details in the topic.

3. Elicit learning from the participants in the activity and synthesize,
providing important ideas using your key learning points.

Application:

1. End the session by asking the participants to do free writing exercise
expressing how a father would evaluate the growth and
developmental of their children.

2. Call on volunteers to read aloud what they wrote.

SESSION 2:
Responding to the Growth and Development Needs of Children and
Adolescents

Early childhood is a time of tremendous
growth across all areas of
development. The dependent newborn
grows into a young person who can take
care of his or her own body and interact
effectively with others.
5

On the other hand, the Adolescence
stage happens from thirteen up to
nineteen years of age and it is
considered as the transition stage
between the childhood and adulthood
stage. In this stage, the sex maturation
happens and physical developments
rapidly occur; the individual feels, think
and act differently.
6

5
http://education.stateuniversity.com/pages/1826/Child-Development-Stages-
Growth.html

Today, psychologists have come to agree that fathers play a unique and
crucial role in nurturing and guiding children's development. Many experts
now believe that fathers can be just as nurturing and sensitive with their
babies as mothers. As their children grow, fathers take on added roles of
guiding their children's intellectual and social development. Even when a
father is 'just playing' with his children, he is nurturing their development.
7


Objectives:
The participants shall be able to talk about ways to
respond to the growth and development needs of their
children and adolescents.

Methodology:
Workshop, Role Playing
Lecture-discussion


Paternal Response to 0-1 years old children
Feel relax in doing something new
Avoid mistakes of other fathers Dont wait for them to get older
before you get emotionally involved
Be involved as soon as she/he is born
Getting involved means helping the child meet his basic needs
Help develop child self-concept
Assist child in exploring his own environment
Allow and encourage the child to freely do things in a stimulating
environment
Provide the necessary calm understanding to the aggressive nature of
the little child
Include books as definite part of his/her play material
Adapt your house and backyard into a suitable and safe environment
Provide attention and praise good behavior

6
http://expertscolumn.com/content/different-stages-human-development
7
http://www.civitas.org.uk/hwu/fathers.php
Materials:
Manila paper
Transparencies
Pen markers
Masking tape

Provide sympathy and listen well to your wife to release her stress
and exasperation in caring for your 2-3 year old child
Be flexible with rules and limits until he/she is emotionally mature
Encourage child to express feeling and help set reasonable limits
Use feedback techniques to set limits and ease stress
Start to toilet rain your child
Provide stimulating activities for language development
Enjoy the fun and love offered by the child this strengthens the bond
between you.

Play with your child. Your child will learn that you can be strong and
yet not too rough to hurt others and you can get excited too.
Ignore negative talks and attitude.
Introduce fascinating word/activity that will catch the attention of your
child.
Overcome emotional blockage be at ease in dealing with childs
question on sex.
Be patient and acknowledge family romance, a phenomenon when
children first become independent of their parents authority; this will
be outgrown when she/he is mature to sort out reality from fantasy-
offer tender rejection.
8

Spend more time with your child for your son. Give him time and
attention so your son can learn to model himself from you, and your
daughter, can fill in a healthy image of man.
Help/assist your child acquire a repertoire of basic learning skills such
as helpful articles, games and workshops these help achieve
intellectual development.
Dont be critical of whatever your child can achieve every child is
unique and learns by their own phase.
When all these are achieved, primary socialization is achieved and
the child will have a strong self-concept, healthy personality structure
necessary for having a sense of self-esteem and a strong sense of
self-identity.

Paternal Response to 6-11 Years Old Children
Provide emotional support. This serves as an important ally in his/her
struggle to learn how to cope with the grown up world.
Spend more time with your son so he can incorporate you as his ideal
figure to imitate.

8
http://thomaslcummins.tripod.com/id132.html

Your daughter needs time with you so she can learn to relate with you
and with other males.
This is the time to establish a positive relationship.
Train the child to have a regular time and place to study.
Dont show any jealousy formed with any close relationship he/she
has.
Learn that unpleasant habits are part of middle childhood and will be
outgrown with paternal understanding and discipline.
Lecturing/scolding in front of other people embarrasses them and
leads them to feel inadequate and resentful.
Learn to praise your child; its the greatest reward or reinforcement.
Get into the habit of on the lookout for behavior you can praise.
Be a model. Your values and attitudes are absorbed strongly in this
period and passed on to your child.
Understand that your child needs a peer group. A peer group provides
a place free of adult influence. It helps your child exercise his
acquired socialization skills.
Prepare a place for peer group and teach him/her to handle teasing
and insults.

Paternal Response to 12-15 Years Old Children
Realize that unpleasant behavior is temporary and is a normal
process.
Show your son the ways that you would like them to be as adult.
Spend time with him; he will learn much more from what you do than
from what you say.
Spend time with your daughter. This will help her feel good about
being female if she sees that you enjoy your time with her.
Avoid parental counter hysterics; a fathers role is to provide a calm
response.
Keep cool and dont turn minor problems into major ones.
Be patient and try not to respond to the provocative behavior of your
adolescent child.
Provide growth opportunities where the wild behavior of pre-
adolescent can emerge safely.
Respect your youngster new found independence; move up to their
development stage.
Dont take any form of rebellion too personally. Understand that their
feelings and thought fluctuate from day to day, week to week as they
crave for independence as well as maintain dependence.
Understand that crying is an appropriate response to deep feelings.
Adjust to new sexuality of the child. Family Romance may reappear
but she/he will outgrow it.

Strengthen the bond by meeting the emotional needs of the child.
This is your safeguard for outside temptation.
Maintain an open, genuine and two-way communication.
As early as possible, provide accurate information on drugs; never
accuse and/or play detective or punitive but be evaluative and seek
dialogue. If need be, seek professional help.

Paternal Response to 16 Years Old to Young Adulthood
Keep the lines of communication open. Talk of your feelings as well
so that your children will learn that it is all right for men to talk about
feelings. Talk about when you are sad and happy.
Be a sounding board via the feedback technique for his/her
adolescent perspective.
Help select his/her vocation based on your childs personal inclination,
interest, capabilities as well as your present economic status.
Respect their privacy.
Tell your child or let your child know your stand with regard to sexual
attitudes, behaviors and ideas.
Be a comfortable support to the child.
Allowing him/her to his/her own thing; you will just remain in the
background to give a feeling of security.
You should be able and should maintain a non-judgmental attitude
when crises arise.
Provide a firm stand but lovingly on sensitive matters. You should be
clear of your stand insuring that they will learn to be mature enough in
their decision-making. This will lead them into stable life and make
them become loving, independent and productive individuals.

Activity:
1. Organize three main groups of six to eight members each (when
possible, do consider fathers with children directly related the age
group assigned to them i.e. Early Childhood (0-6 years old); Middle
Childhood (6-10 years old) and Adolescence (11-18 years old).
2. Ask the participants to select a group leader and a reporter.
3. Ask each group to discuss using the following questions:
a. What are the needs of children corresponding to the age
level assigned to your group? (Use previous group output
for reference)
b. What behavioral characteristics do you observe?
c. Did you respond to the above behavioral characteristics?
If yes, how?

d. What stimulating activities or support activities have you
given to your child to help him/her cope with his
developmental challenges?
4. Once done, ask the group to role-play the behavioral characteristics
they observed in their own children at the particular age group
assigned to them as well as the stimulating activities that they do to
support their childrens growth and development.
5. Ask the group to present in a plenary.

Processing:
1. Ask the following questions:
a. Were the actions and responses of fathers conducive to the
growth and development of their children?
b. What are the negative
reactions or responses we
give to our children that
hinder their process of
development?
c. What are the problems you
encounter in responding to
the developmental stages of
your children?
d. How do you overcome
them?
e. What do you do to help your
child develop fully?

2. Provide the handouts and
engage the trainees into further
discussion.

Application:
1. Stress that the fathers are key
players in providing care,
guidance, and direction during
the psychosocial development
of their children.

THE SCULPTOR
By: Author, Unknown

I took a piece of plastic clay
And idly fashioned it, one day
And as my fingers pressed it still
It moved and yielded to my will

I came again when days were passed
That bit of clay was hard at last
The form I gave I still it bore
And I could change that form no more

Then I took a piece of living clay
And gently formed it day by day
And molded with my power and art
A young childs soft and yielding heart

I came again when years were gone
It was a man I looked upon
He still that early impress bore
And I could change it no more.
Note to Facilitator:
The facilitator may include session/tips on paternal response in handling
children with disabilities

2. End the session with the poem at the inset.
SESSION 3:
Raising Children in Gender Sensitive Ways

The way we raise our children formed the
roles that children will perform throughout
their adult life. In our own family, how do
we distribute tasks and functions in the
home with our sons and daughter? If it is
a male child, what do you expect of him to
be, and if it will be a female, what do you
expect of her to be. In this session we will
be discussing differences on the way we
raise our sons and daughters


Objective:
The Participants shall be able to discuss how Filipino parents raise their
children in ways that socialize them into their gender
identities and roles.

Methodology:
Brainstorming
Group Sharing
Lecture/Discussion

Key Learning Points
(Copy on manila paper and use as visual aids)

Socialization refers to complex process of learning behaviours
considered appropriate and not appropriate with a given culture.
Family - is the primary socialization agent.
Gender behaviour is developed and is mirrored in the family in six
socialization areas:
- Parental preferences
- Role expectation
- Manner of raising
- Preference for investment of resources
- Type of differential responsibilities
- Parental modelling
Gender socialization process is between 5-10 years old.
Materials:
Manila paper
Transparencies
Pen markers
Masking tape

Gender segregation, e.g. boys are not allowed to play with girls, boys
can play kites and balls, while girls can only play with dolls and
bahay-bahayan, boys enjoy more freedom while girls tend to receive
more restrictions, and boys are allowed to be more aggressive.
Adolescent Stage parents are extra careful to girls, more restraint
but they allow boys to go home late.
Responsibility while both girls and boys are into economic activities,
girls are more focused on childcare and boys are given some of
household works.

What can parents do?
Develop the attitude that children should be valued equally regardless
of gender.
Daughters should be loved and cherished as much as your sons, not
just for their functional contributions to the family but also for their own
unique personalities and capabilities.
Maintain gender free expectations to all family members.
Encourage the views that both of them can achieve their highest
potentials.
Provide equal time and play, leisure and relaxation for both boys and
girls.
Adopt gender free rules.
Ensure same opportunities for both of them.
Abolish distinctions between a man and a womans work.
Provide role models where mother and father can both be assertive
and nurturing.
Build up boys interest and capabilities to care for children.
As fathers, increase your participation in parental delivery, and early
child development.

Activity:
1. Make two main groups and ask them to respond and share their
different views on the following:
a. If you were going to have your first baby, what would you prefer, a
male or a female baby?
b. What are the roles you expect from your son? From your
daughter?
c. How do you raise your son? How do you raise your daughter?
d. Do you care more on your son? Or do you care more for your
daughter?
2. Ask the participants to write their responses on the newsprint.
3. Ask each group to report their output in the plenary.

4. Allow reactions and comments from other participants as each group
reports in the plenary.

Processing:
1. Engage the participants into discussion by asking the following
questions:
How and why did you come up with such child preference in your
family?
How are these roles manifested in the way you raised your child?
Why do you think we adhere to these differences in the roles we
give to our sons and daughters?
2. Direct the discussion using your Key Learning Points and allow time
for more questions and clarifications.

Application:
1. Ask the participants to answer this question individually (ask them to
write their answers) How would I raise my son so that he can
become nurturing father in his own children someday?
2. Ask the participants to write their answers on metacards and to attach
them on their chest.
3. Ask the participants to move around to share it with other participants.
4. End the session with a song or a prayer.

SESSION 4:
Responding to Childs Rights and Responsibilities

This session will discuss the rights of the child. Fathers should be aware
and should recognize that there are basic rights of the child, which are
written under the Convention on the Rights of the Child.


Objectives:
1. Explain the rights of the child.
2. Discuss the four broad areas
covered by the Convention on the
Rights of the Child.
3. List the responsibilities of Fathers
and adults towards children.

Methodology:
Brainstorming, group discussion,
matching game

The Convention on the Rights of the child (CRC) states that a child is
a person under 18 years old, unless national laws recognize the age
of majority earlier.
CRC is an international instrument ratified in 1990 by most member
countries of the United Nations.
The CRC sets minimum standards for parents; NGOs, civil society
and governments must commit in ensuring that children realize their
rights.
Parents are primarily responsible in fulfilling the rights of the child for
childrens optimum growth and development.
Parents should help their children understand and exercise their
rights.
The rights of the child can be summarized as follow:

The right to be born, to have a name and nationality.
The right to have a family to take care of him or her.
To have a good education.
To develop his or her full potential.
To have enough food, shelter. To have a healthy and active body.
To learn good manners and right conduct.
To be given the opportunity to play and have leisure.
To be given protection against abuse, danger and violence.
Materials:
Illustration of child at the Centre
of Society (Child Friendly
Movement)
Poster of the Convention on the
Rights of the child
Flipchart containing words of
Sampung Mga Karapatan
Manila paper
Masking tape
Pentel pens
Cards marked A, B and C

To live in a peaceful community.
To be defended and assisted by the government.
To be able to express his/her views.

The rights of the child can be clustered into four broad
categories:
Survival
The rights of the child for him and her to live. These
include food, health, shelter and clothing.
Development
The rights of the child for him or her to attain his full
potential. These include education, rest and
recreation, spiritual activity, and love and care.
Protection
The rights of the child for him to be supported and
protected. These include protection from mental,
physical or sexual abuse, neglect and exploitation.
Participation
The rights of the child, which will enable him to
express his feelings and thoughts. These include his
or her right to speak his or her own opinion; to have
access to good and important information; to be with
his or her own peers; and his or her rights to a name
and nationality which he or she needs to be identified
as a member of a family, community or a society.

Activity:

1. Engage the participants into preliminary discussion by reminding them
of the previous session where you talked about the development of
children and the consequent paternal responses.
2. Stress that in this session you will now talk about a very important
thing in the life of each child that is the rights of a child.
3. Stressed that it is the right of every child to be cared for and that
fathers are very important persons in recognizing these rights.
4. Then form three main groups and ask them to prepare a presentation
using any form of creative media showing ways that can hinder
Childs Rights.
5. Each group presents as you jot down all their answers on a flipchart
or blackboard (key words only).
6. Recap your list by showing the poster on the Rights of the Child.

7. To make fathers participate more actively, you ask different
volunteers to read a line from the poster.
8. Point out the rights, which may have been missed by the fathers
during their enumeration of Child Rights.
9. Move to the next point on who should uphold the rights of the child.
10. Ask the following question:
If these are the rights of the child, who do you think are responsible
in fulfilling the rights of the child?
11. Again, list all the possible answers.
12. Recap by showing the enlarged version of the illustration showing a
Child at the Centre of a Society.

Processing:
1. Form three groups and ask the following questions for the group to
answer:
What do you think are the top two rights not met by most children in
your community? Which rights do you as a father supports the
most?
2. Allow time for the groups to discuss and write their answers on Manila
paper.
3. Post the answers and ask a representative from each group to explain
the outputs.
4. Allow more time for insights and other learning.

Application:

1. Conduct a group game.
2. Place three chairs (3) marked clearly with A, B, and C in front of
the group.
3. Ask all fathers to participate in the game by lining up behind the
marked chair. (The correct answer are underlined for your guidance):
a. In the Philippines, a child is anyone below:
A. 15 B.18 C 13
b. The Convention on the Rights of the Child (Kasunduan ng
Karapatan ng Bawat Bata) was ratified by most countries
who are members of the United Nations in the year:
A. 1990 B. 1989 C. 1985
c. Under he Convention on the Rights of the Child, the
fulfilment of the rights of the children is primarily the
responsibility of the:
A. Schools B. Government C. Parents
d. Which of these is not part of the Rights of the Child:
A. To be able to express his or her views
B. To have his or her own name and nationality

C. To work so that his or her family can live better.
e. To make the various rights of the child more
understandable, the rights can be clustered into how many
basic categories:
A. Five B. Four C. Nine
4. Deepen the experience by asking: How can you inform other fathers
about the rights of the child? What would be your difficulties in sharing
the rights of the child with other fathers in your community? What do
you suggest in order to overcome these difficulties?

5. End the session by showing the flipchart of Mga Karapatan Ko to the
tune of Sampung Mga Daliri.

THE SONG

Mga karapatan ko
Apat ang saklaw nyan
Mabuhay ng matiwasay
Umunlad ng mahusay
Proteksyon sa panganib
Isalit pakinggan
Karapatan, ipaglaban
Ng mga magulang

MODULE V
PROMOTING FAMILY SPIRITUALITY

SESSION 1:
Fathers as Spiritual Leaders

Try to look back at your past and look at your present situation. Do you
think you can be proud of yourself for the rest of your life? Do you have
that inner confidence, inner love, peace
and trust emanating from your enduring
faith in God? What have you done to
yourself as spiritual being in the context
of your role as a father? And just what
do you think does it take for you to be
kind of father we need to be in order to
provide the most wholesome and
spiritually rich home in which your
childrens souls might be unfolded.


Objectives:
1. Reflect and talk about the important role
as spiritual leaders in the family.
2. Visualize a fathers role as spiritual leader
in the family.

Methodology:
Buzz Group Discussion

(Copy the highlighted headings on the flipchart paper)

The father as a spiritual leader
As a father, he has a responsibility to guide every member of the family
and family life as a whole to be able to raise spiritual children.

Family Spirituality
It is the synergistic by product of all the interpersonal dynamics between
parent and child, child and siblings and spouse and spouse. This can be
characterized by a strong bond among family members-healthy
relationships with love, support, guidance and a sense of shared identity.

Materials:
Reflective
Instrumental Song
Flip Chart paper,
pens and markers,
Crayons and big
brown paper

It generates and energizes spiritual power making us become more
trusting and hopeful to pursue things despite occurrence of obstacles.

It gives us a clear vision of life and its meaning. It gives sympathetic
understanding to a nagging wife, domineering husband, troublesome
children and meddling neighbors.

Family life is your spiritual life seeking together, ritualizing together,
learning and teaching peace.

Activity:
1. Ask participants to individually reflect guided by the following
questions (facilitator may play a soft music):
a. Am I the spiritual leader of my family?
b. How do I manifest spiritual leadership in my family?
c. What spiritual activities do we do in our own family that
helps promote trust and unity in our relationship?
d. What are the hindrances in fulfilling our spiritual
activities?
e. What actions to we take to address these hindrances?
2. Provide them with paper and pens to write their reflections.
3. After the participants complete the individual work, make three
main groups and ask them to share their responses with one
another.
4. Ask each group to assign a reporter to write highlights and a
leader to facilitate the group sharing.
5. Each group to take turns in presenting a summary of their
reflections.

Processing:
1. Take note of all key messages in the output of the participants
and write them on the board.
2. Allow sharing of experiences, ideas and hopes to deepen the
discussion on this topic.
3. Discuss further using your key learning points.

Application:
1. Provide art materials (crayons and big brown paper) and ask the
groups to draw murals of how fathers can play their roles as
family spiritual leaders.
2. Post murals around the room like a gallery.
3. Allow time and encourage each one to view the three murals.

SESSION 2:
Raising Your Children to be of High Spiritual Values

Children have their own thoughts and
feelings. They have their own likes
and dislikes. They have their own
wishes and dreams in life as well as
fears. But this need not stop the
fathers from continuing seeking
dialogue and quiet moments with their
children. Fathers need to give a
specialized attention to his wife or
children when pressing problems
abound. They need to be supported,
taught and guided as to how father
can achieve their role in enriching the
life of his family members.


Objective:
The participants shall be able to identify ways to
help children grow with high spiritual values.

Methodology:
Workshop/Discussion
Role Playing


What can fathers do to raise spiritual children and family?
(Copy the highlighted headings on Flip paper, or photocopy and distribute
as handouts.)

a. Lead the family in prayer
Prayer preserves the family. It forges a vision of spirit. It has curative
effects that lead one to forgive and acknowledge his own misdeeds
and weaknesses, thus impatience will lead to sympathetic
understanding to a nagging wife, domineering husband, troublesome
children and meddling neighbors.
b. Lead and build spiritual family lives
c. Start Early. Teach your child as early as possible in appreciating God
through prayer and singing.
Materials:
Flipchart paper
Pens
Markers
handouts

d. Tell the truth. Dont be afraid to show your pains. Be honest with
your feelings and thoughts.
e. Do good. Your child will learn to be good based on your dealings with
other people.
f. Wear your spirituality on your sleeve and not on your chest where
you put your ID for display.
g. Undertake indoor/outdoor fun for the family. This will provide
relaxing moments to all the members of the family.
h. Undertake community service, as this will promote concern and
respect to other people.

Activity:
1. Make five main groups.
2. Ask them to work on the following questions:
a. What are the best ways to teach and raise my children
spiritual values?
b. How can fathers teach their children to become more
responsible?
3. Allow time for the group to answer and present their outputs using
role play.

Processing:
1. Ask participants how they feel and what they think about the
presentations.
2. Discuss further using your key learning points.

Application:
1. Direct the participants to the empty flip chart paper and ask them
to list down as many activities to undertake to promote family
spirituality.
2. Ask them to individually choose which among the lists are doable
daily, weekly or in special periods.
3. Give out paper and pens for them to make their planned spiritual
activity schedules.

MODULE VI
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN THE PROMOTION OF PEACE IN THE
FAMILY

SESSION 1:
Understanding Family Violence

The thrust of the government in
addressing the problem of family violence
is a part of the worldwide effort in support
to the Convention on the Rights of the
Child (CRC) and the Convention on the
Elimination and Discrimination Against
Women (CEDAW. In this session, we shall
look at how fathers can become
champions in preventing family violence.


Objective:
The participants shall be able to discuss how
violence evolves in the family and how this affects
the members.

Methodology:
Brainstorming
Short Lecture
Discussion


Violence in the family occurs and is a serious problem in the country
today. It refers to the act committed with the deliberate or perceived
intention of hurting another person particularly to children, women and
older persons.

The cause of violence in the family includes:
Lack of emotional empathy/failure to see/feel pain
Relation problems acquired during childhood/
intergenerational
Belief as ordinary and normative act
Narrow view of violence

It presents serious abuse of power within the family, trust or
dependency relationship. It comes in different forms such as:
Materials:
Cartolina or metacards
Pen markers
Manila paper
Old Magazines and
Newspapers
Scissors
Paste

Physical Abuse is any act that result in inflicted injury to
any member of the family
Sexual Abuse is any act or acts that result in the sexual
exploitation of children, women and older people.
Emotional/Psychological Abuse is any act or omission
that results in impaired psychological, social, intellectual and
or emotional functioning and development of a child, a
woman or older person.
Economic Abuse - as making or attempting to make an
individual financially dependent by maintaining total control
over financial resources, withholding one's access to money,
or forbidding one's attendance at school or employment.
Neglect is any act of omission that results in impaired
social functioning, injury, and/or development of a child of a
young person.
Multiple Abuse is any act that is a combination of the
various types of abuse inflicted to a child, a woman or any
member of a family that results in physical injury, sexual
exploitation, impaired social functioning and danger to life of
the person.

Family violence is a serious social problem that affects not only the
family but the community as well. It often remains a hidden problem in
the family, which has long lasting effects on the victims particularly on
their personality. Victims of family violence are usually the children,
women and older people.

Activity:

You may do any of the three activities:

1. Inquire about the participants own understanding of the concept
of family violence and allow time for the participants to make a list
of observed and/or experienced forms of family violence in the
community and list all their responses on the board. Or:
2. Give each of the participant sheets of paper or Cartolina to write
their responses and have all their responses posted on the board.
Or:
3. Ask them to make a collage about a family violence.

Processing:
1. Based on the responses of the participants, ask them to
categorize the different types of abuses they find in their home

and in their community. Elicit responses on the following
questions:
a. Who do you think are the perpetrators of violence in the
family?
b. Why do you think these forms of abuses are occurring in
your community?
c. What effect do you think will it have on your children?
2. Write all the responses on the board and write key messages on
family violence, using your Key Learning Points.

Application:
1. Group the participants into 2 or 3 groups and ask them to identify
ways to prevent family violence at home.
2. Ask the groups to present their outputs in creative media
presentation i.e. song, dance, pantomime and poem.

SESSION 2:
Preventing Violence in the Home

Fathers as male species are naturally aggressive
and are easily provoked to anger. When you are
angry you are in stress that means you lose
balance in your thinking and emotional state. To
prevent the consequence of that imbalance
feeling and thought, one need to manage his/her
feelings so he/she can devise way to control
ones feelings particularly when one is in anger
state. Otherwise, the strong feeling of anger will
have to be released to the people around
him/her particularly his/her family and hurt the
people he/she loved.

Estimate Time: 1 hours

Objectives:
1. Discuss the importance of the need to
prevent violence in the home.
2. Discuss anger management as a way to
prevent violence in the family.

Materials:
Reflective instrumental
music on tape

Tape recorder

Methodology:
Individual exercise
Lecture
Discussion

Anger requires so much attention. It brings chaos into familial
relationships and hurt peoples lives even worse destroy the family or
marital bond, unity and stability.
When conflict occurs particularly between couple we experience
feelings such as frustration, defeat, embarrassment, guilt or
insecurity. A secondary feeling of anger usually follows these feelings.
And when this occurs, it must be given attention. It must not be
ignored, avoided and kept secret or suppressed. Otherwise, it will
take root and be acted out in negative and unhealthy ways.
Anger though can be controlled and managed. It is within our means
to do something about it. Hence when you are angry, you may do the
following:
o Understand the roots of your anger by focusing less in the person
but on your feeling and ponder on the situation that caused your
anger.
o Recognize your anger style by determining whether your act is
aggravating more to your feeling of anger and that either you are
hurting more yourself or the people around you.
o Learn tools and techniques to control your anger positively such
as walking away from the situation for a while and letting things
cool down, positive self-talk as I know I am angry but I will calm
my self down.
o Redirect your feeling of anger to positive or productive tasks such
as listening to music, cutting the grass or washing the dishes.
o Release your feeling of anger internally through visualization.
o Release your anger in safe and supportive environment.
o Fare and resolve the anger of your past. If an issue occurs never
go to sleep or never let one day pass without resolving the
conflict. You may cool down for a while but work on your conflict
as soon as you can.

However, when someone is angry at you or at the situation, you may also
do the following:
Listen carefully and dont interrupt. Always let the angry person vents
his/her anger and frustration.
Focus your full attention on the person. Always establish eye contact.
Dont divide your attention by trying to do something else.

Control your emotions by remaining calm and avoiding the temptation
to engage in an argument.
Apologize if necessary if it is your fault. Do not try to defend yourself
rather let the other person see your affirmation and recognition of your
fault.
Solve the problem immediately if necessary. Your wife and children
will appreciate you so much and regard you positively.

Activity:
1. Divide the participants into two groups.
2. Ask one group to work on defining the different steps in managing
ones own anger and the other group on identifying activities in
coping with other peoples anger.
3. Remind the groups that each participant will write as many
answers on the board.
4. Acknowledge the group who yields the most responses.

An alternate methodology is through meditation exercise by asking the
participants the following questions:
1. What specific experience or situation angers you most?
2. How did you respond/handle your anger?
3. How did you express your anger?
4. What effect did it have to the people you love?

Processing:
1. Process the activity by checking the responses and allow time for
confirmation or validation
2. Elicit insights and learning whether they can prevent or minimize
any form of abuse or violence if they manage and control their
anger using the following questions:
a. Will you really be able to control occurrence of abuse in
the family if you control or manage your anger?
b. What are the other ways to handle your anger inside the
home?
3. Synthesize the session using your key learning points.

Application:
1. Play the instrumental music and ask the participants to listen.
2. Ask each to recall the past conflict he had with his wife or his
children and identify positive ways to respond to anger.
3. Encourage them to share reflections with any participant one feels
comfortable with

SESSION 3:
The Fathers Role in Preventing Family Violence in the Community

Fathers have a role in preventing family
violence in the community. They have the
key role in leading the family. They serve
as role models in the family. How can
fathers serve as advocate in the
prevention of family violence in their
community?


Objective:
The participants shall be able to develop interest
and take an active role in the prevention of family
violence in the community.

Methodology:
Workshop
Lecture discussion
Alternate methodology: Creative Media/Radio
drama


Fathers as Advocate in the Prevention of Child Abuse/Violence on
the Homes
(Copy on big Manila paper and photocopy as handouts)

Participate in activities that enhance potential capabilities of fathers.
Respect each childs rights and provide wholesome family life habits.
Pay attention to your child and wife always and take time to be an
accommodating and understanding listener.
Participate and be concerned in the prevention of child abuse and
family violence in the community.
Organize a neighborhood association of families on the prevention of
child abuse and family violence.
Report cases of child abuse and other forms of violence in the family
in our community to the nearest police headquarters and barangays
or concerned agencies.

Materials:
Cartolina or acetate
visual aid

Handouts
Childs Rights
Poster

Activity:
1. Ask participants to make small groups of six to seven members per
group.
2. Provide materials to each group of participants and ask them to
appoint a leader and a reporter, with the following questions as guide:
a. How should I treat my child to prevent them from being abused in
our family?
b. How should I treat my wife to prevent her from being abused in
our family?
c. What we ought to do to maintain harmonious relationship and
treatment with one another?
d. How can I contribute in preventing family violence in the
community?
3. Ask the group to present their outputs through creative media or radio
drama to elicit interest and achieve participation in the discussion of
this topic?
4. Write key words on metacards while the groups are presenting their
outputs creatively.

Processing:
1. Synthesize and acknowledge responses of fathers, which you
wrote on metacards.
2. Focus on detailing out specific activities that fathers can do into
two categories family and community in preventing children
from becoming victims of abuse.
3. Present and discuss your key learning points.

Application:
1. Divide the participants into three main groups and ask them to
read the poster of Childs Rights.
2. Ask the three groups to work on the theme: Fathers as advocate
on the Rights of the Children.
3. Ask them to create either a role-play presentation or a song
(palit-awit) by asking them to identify a very familiar song and
change its lyrics to infuse their theme.
4. Ask each group to present their creative outputs.

MODULE VII
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN PROMOTING A DRUG-FREE HOME

SESSION 1:
Understanding Substance Abuse

Government also focuses its thrust in
preventing the proliferation of drugs and other
forms of substance abuse through the
Comprehensive Dangerous Drug Act of 2002
(RA 9165). This law calls for the formulation
of the National Anti-Drug Program of Action.
DSWD also sees the importance of involving
families in the community in the prevention of
drug abuse. The parents, fathers particularly,
have very important roles in promoting a drug
free home.


Objectives:
1. Discuss the substance abuse/misuse; and
2. Discuss the different causes and effects of
substance abuse.

Methodology
Brainstorming
Collage Making

(Copy and make into a Flip Chart)

A. Basic Drug Terms:

Drug/Substance Addiction

Means that the persons whole life is devoted to buying and taking drugs
and it usually applies to those who are regular, heavy users of drugs such
as heroin or cocaine and other substance such as cigarettes and alcohol.

Drug/Substance Tolerance

As people take more of a drug and other forms of substance the body can
adapt to tolerate increased amounts. This means larger doses or amount
are needed to get an effect. This can happen with many different drugs
and other forms of substance.
Materials:
Old newspapers
And magazines
Paste
Newsprint
Scissors

Dependency

It is a strong compulsion to keep taking drugs. Physical dependency
results from the repeated, heavy use of drugs like heroin, tranquillizers
and alcohol. These drugs can change the body chemistry for example; if
someone does not get a repeat dose they suffer physical withdrawal
symptoms the shakes and flu-like effects. They have to keep taking the
drug just to stop themselves from feeling ill. Psychological dependency is
more common and can happen with any drug. In this case people get into
the drug experience as a way of coping with the world or as a way of
feeling OK. They feel they could not cope without drugs even though they
may not be physically dependent.

Withdrawal Symptoms

These are the unpleasant symptoms such as head pain, dizziness,
shakes, sleeplessness and flu-like effects as a result of stopping long-
term use of certain drugs, like alcohol, heroin and tranquilizers.

B. Types of Drugs/Substances Commonly Abused/Misused.

Caffeine Commonly found in soft drinks, coffee and tea. Mild stimulation
and if for the most part harmless to people, except for its addicting nature.
It causes:
Insomnia
Restlessness
Anxiety
Increase in heart rate
Possible irregularities in the heart
Heavy coffee drinkers are more prone to develop coronary heart
disease.

Nicotine Tobacco and cigarettes are the most common forms of taking
nicotine. It causes:
High risks to the lungs, heart, blood and nervous system that can
cause respiratory failure, general paralysis, lung cancer, chronic
bronchitis, emphysema and cardiovascular disease.
Passive smoking can be harmful to children.
Pregnant women who smoke may harm the fetus.

ADDICTIVE SUBSTANCES CREATING PHYSICAL DEPENDENCE

Cocaine White crystalline powder derived from coca plant is the most
potent natural stimulant. It causes:
Risk of death in the form of heart attack or stroke from excessive
use.
Seizure.
Cerebral hemorrhage.

Ice/Shabu Tiny, ice-like crystals designed to be smoked. This
substance lasts 8 to 16 hours. It causes:
Fatal lung and kidney disorders
Long lasting psychological damage.

Depressants such as amphetamines and crack Drugs used for the
depression of his/her central nervous system that literally stimulate or
excite the users central nervous system. With prolonged use, the user
becomes:
Sluggish, with impaired judgment
Slurred speech
Loss of Motor Coordination
Feeling of anxiety
Vomiting, Loss of Appetite
Increased heart rate, profuse sweating
Convulsions

Alcohol Among the many forms are: Beers made from grain through
brewing and fermentation contains 3-8% alcohol, and up to 21% when
fortified by adding alcohol; Distilled beverages such as whisky, gin and
vodka contain 40-50% alcohol. Drinkers become physically addicted and
develop tolerance quickly.
Impaired judgment
Slurred speech
Loss of motor skills
Difficulty in controlling emotions
Digestive-system disorders such as cancer of the mouth, throat
and esophagus, gastritis, ulcers, cirrhosis of the liver, and
inflammation of the pancreas.
Disorders of the nervous system such as neuritis, lapse of
memory (blackout), hallucinations and extreme tremors.
Pregnant women who drink heavily may give birth to infants with
face and body abnormalities.

Barbiturates, Quaaludes (Hallucinogens) Hallucinogenic drugs act on
the central nervous system by distorting auditor, tactile and visual
perceptions of reality. Users have the ability to hear sights and see
sounds. Users.
Develop tolerance
Coming Down is of negative and depressive nature of bad trip
that may manifest itself in the form of suicidal tendencies.

MDMA (Methylenedioxymethamphetamine) or known by its street
names: Ecstasy, XTC, Eve and Essence popular in urban areas
especially to college students. Studies have shown that it temporarily
destroys the nerve endings in animals and may cause permanent brain
damage in the long run. Other very dangerous drugs are: LSD, Peyote,
and Mescaline, PCP, Psilocybin Mushrooms.

C. Drug/Substance Dangers and Consequences
General Risks will depend on:
1. How much is taken?
2. How strong the dose is, for example, two ecstasy tablets, which look
the same, may have very different doses in them?
3. How often it is taken?
4. What else might be mixed in with the drug especially the rubbish that
is often mixed with illegal drugs? Some drugs might be complete
fakes or have very different effects from what the user was expecting.
There is no quality control on the illicit drug scene.
5. What is actually taken? Much of the drug experiences depends on
what people think is going to happen you can get seriously freaked
out if youre expecting a nice happy time on E when youve actually
swallowed a face full of downers.
6. Whether drugs are being mixed together: alcohol is especially
dangerous as a mixer.
7. How a drug is taken; injecting is just about the most dangerous way to
use drugs the dose is taken all at once so there is a danger of
overdose if injecting equipment is shared, there is the danger of
passing of infections like hepatitis and HIV (the virus that leads to
AIDS)

General Risks at the Following:

The Person
If you drink when you feel miserable, you will often feel worse; if you are
anxious or depressed before taking LSD, you are more likely to have a
bad experience. Also the following factors may affect the experience.

Physical Health Problems. Drug use could be more dangerous for
those with heart, blood pressure, epilepsy, diabetes, and asthma or
liver problems.
Weight. Drugs act differently depending how heavy you are: the
effects may be more in a lighter person. People who have eating
disorders like anorexia or bulimia may also find drug use makes it
even worse.
Not Being Used to Drugs. Somebody new to drug use may be
anxious, unsure of what to do or expect and be more likely to get into
problems or have a nasty experience.
Sex. Drug use may be different for males and females because of the
different physical make up and the different way people view male
and female drug use. It is often seen as OK for men to do certain
things or behave in certain ways but not for women.

The Family
Drug user can have a residual effect on the lives of the family. Dependent
drug users will lie and steal even from his/her own family gradually
depleting the familys financial and emotional resources.

In some cases, parents are part of the problem. Due to poverty they allow
their children to deal drugs.

Youth involved in drugs, are placed in jeopardy, including arrest, street
violence, drug overdose, incarceration and truancy.

The Environment

Where people use it can be risky. Some take drugs in dodgy places like
canal banks, near railways lines and in other similar areas. Accidents are
much more likely in these places especially if people are out of their
heads. Also, if anything goes wrong, it is less likely that help will be at
hand or an ambulance could easily be called.

Another problem has been the use of ecstasy in clubs where people
dance for hours in very crowded and hot situation. This has led to people
overheating and some have died of dehydration and heat exhaustion.

What people are doing while they are on drugs can be risky. Driving a car
or operating machinery whilst on drugs for example, can greatly increase
the chances of serious accidents. Penalties for driving under the
influence of drugs resulting in an accident can be severe. Having sex

while on drugs can make remembering safer sex like using condoms
much more difficult.

Activity
1. Divide the participants into 3 main groups with 5-8 members per
group.
2. Provide them with the necessary materials for the workshop.
3. Ask each group to brainstorm on the current situation of
drugs/substance abuse problems in their respective areas.
4. Ask them to look for a picture of drugs/substance abuse that are
commonly used in their communities in old newspapers and
magazines and make visual images of collages.
5. Ask each group to appoint a leader to facilitate.
6. Guide the discussion with the following questions:
What is drug/substance abuse/misuse? What are the commonly
abused/misused drugs/substances in your community? What are the
consequences of drug/substance abuse in the person using it and to
his/her family?

Processing:

1. Let each group present their output in the plenary
2. Take note or write on the board important terms and process the
activity by asking them the following questions:
What do you think are the real problems that cause
drug/substance abuse?
What effect do you think will it have to your children, to your
family and to the community as a whole?
3. Engage the participants further and provide them inputs using your
key learning points.

Application:
1. Ask three of five volunteer participants to talk about their own
experiences as teenage boys and how they were able to manage
or avoid using drugs and substances.
2. Then ask for short father-dialogues or what fathers can tell their
teenagers to teach them how to avoid drugs and substances.

SESSION 2:
Drug/Substance Abuse in the Home

We as fathers are the last to
know that our own child or a
friends child or a neighbors
child is using drugs, alcohol and
other form of substance that
may be abusively used. For
most of us, it was a big shock
and may be on unbelievable
situation but it is a real situation
that must be squarely faced and
responded to by fathers. It is
very important then for fathers to
know when and if your child is
into drugs. And you have the
very right to know about drugs
and substance abuse. Hence,
this session will focus on
different ways to establish a drug-free home focusing on fathers taking an
active role.

Estimated Time: 1 Hour

Objectives:
1. Discuss ways to establish a drug-free home
2. Discuss ways how fathers can take on
active role in preventing their children from
drug/substance abuse.

Methodology:
Genogram making
Structured Learning Exercise
Individual reflection / Dyad
Discussion

Key Learning Points

Fathers can do a lot in preventing family members from going into
drugs and other forms of substance abuse.
Materials:
A Genogram
Form
Pens
Pencil
Crayons
Bond paper
Handouts

Establishing a drug-free home starts from modeling to your children
and other family members. Setting an example of a good behavior is
instilling a positive role model for your child.
First thing you can do is to educate yourself about drugs and other
forms of substance abuse.
Learn their effects - effect of drugs, alcohol and tobacco.
Read and discuss with other fathers about the local drug scene. How
and why children go into drugs?
Find out about resources as to where and when to seek professional
help. To be informed is to be forwarded and equipped to deal with the
problem.
At home, take time to talk to your child, non-user or user about what
you are learning. It is best that you and your child learn together and
share information about drugs and substance abuse with each other.
Give focus on the biological effects of drugs on adolescents growth
and development.

Tips on establishing a drug-free home
Make an effort to get to know your childs friends
Spend quality time with your child
Listen to him the right way
Give positive, encouraging feedback
Encourage creative forms of communication
Involve your children in the observance of your faith
Refrain from smoking cigarettes or drinking alcohol
Preserve harmony at home
Study the enemy
Look for the silver lining

How can you tell when your child may be on drugs or needs help?

1) Changes in Behavior persons who were obedient, kind and
courteous before become irritable, discourteous, defiant and
aggressive.
2) Change in Appearance persons who are neat and well
groomed become unconcerned with their grooming and become
slovenly. They usually wear dark glasses and prefer to wear long
sleeves, which they did not do before. If previously they were
healthy looking they become thin, emaciated and pale with their
hair-lacking luster.

3) Changes in Mood During the effect of the drug, they may be
euphoric or exhilarated. Sometimes, they go into uncontrollable
fits of laughing and giggling.
4) Changes in Interest - Persons who have been good employees
and who have been doing well with their work become idlers, lose
interest in their work and become dependent on others. Students,
who are coping well in school become idlers, lose interest in their
work and become dependent on others. Students who are coping
well in school become disinterested, truant and their grades
deteriorate.

What can we do in our neighborhood?

1. Contact all the parents of your childs friend whether your child is
a known user or not.
2. Tell them what you are leaning new fact about drug and alcohol
use and would like to share your information with them.
3. Find out if there is a problem and its extent.
4. Tell them that drug usage affects non-users as well as users in
negative ways and emphasize that together you can all learn.
5. Get the parents together and commit yourselves to a mutual
learning process.
6. Make clear that accusations, hostility and using scapegoats are
not what you are after.
7. Then dig out and pool all the information you can get if drug and
alcohol use has begun among local children.
8. Air suspicions, rumors, gossip and guesses as well as known
facts. It is crucial that all parents learn on what is going on and
that they do not bury their heads in the sand; that they do not
back off when painful information begins to surface.
9. Find out who is involved as users, suppliers and be ready to
confront all of them with their parents. Do this in a helpful and not
in an accusing manner.
10. In your parents group, work out a common code of basic
behavioral rules on drugs and drinking, dating, curfews,
chaperoning, etc. then present a unified parental front, a
communal set of standards.
11. Twenty or thirty parents working together can establish a more
controllable community for their kids, regardless of what happens
to the rest of the wicked world. Be willing to back up each other
when kids try to test you, to divide and conquer, to claim that so
and so gets to do such and such.

12. Keep your parent communication networks going so that you
keep up with changing situations and changing problems. Its
important and even reassuring to your kids to know that you and
their friends parents know what is going on out in that difficult real
world that kids must contend with.
13. Work hard at developing fun, meaningful and constructive
alternatives to drug and alcohol use. Utilize the resources of other
parents and of churches but make sure that these organizations
also know what is going on. Kids can get just as stoned at church
camps and in football dressing rooms as they do in sneaky hide
outs, if the adult in charge is nave and uninformed.
14. Remember that drug using and drug dealing can be fun,
adventurous, exciting games for kids. Very few will meet a dirty
old pusher in the initial stages. They will get their drugs from
friends, from older brothers and sisters, from cool and friendly and
flattering older teenagers. That first share of joint will be a
generous and fun experience for many youngsters. So be ready
to counter that with more interesting, healthier, more lawful and
more stimulating entertainment with service to others.
15. Recognize that it will not be all sweetness and light. Kids who
belong to a drug-using peer group will fight to maintain that
secure circle of friends. They can be sullen, defiant, deceptive
and downright dislikeable. A parent has to hang in there, to act
out of pure faith, for a long enough time to make his child
recognize his seriousness. This may take few months or a few
years. You may need professional help. But you owe it to your
child. The alternatives are too hazardous. A childs drug usage
can tear a family apart, but a parental and familial struggle to
regain a drug-free child can be strengthened and reunify a family.

Activity:
1. Provide the participants with a sample of a completed Genogram
(see attached sample) on the Board and give them a blank sheet
of bond paper.
2. Provide them with the mechanics on how to do a Genogram and
ask them to do the same guided by the following questions:
a) What role(s) did each family member assume in your family
(e.g. family hero, scapegoat, peacemaker, rescuer, parental
child, etc)? At present, what role (s) do you tend to play in
the family or family like relationships?
b) How did each member of your family express affection?
At present time, how do you tend to express affection?

c) How did family members seek help and support in your
family? From whom? Today, when you need help and
support, how do you seek it? From whom?
d) How does your family cope with problem and stress?
Who does the problem solving and decision-making in the
family?
e) How did each member of your family express anger? How
were other feelings expressed? Sadness? Fear? Joy? At this
in your life, how do you express each of these feelings?
f) What are (at least 5) the most important positive or
negative experiences/characteristics you and your family
members possess? How do these affect you today?
Which, if any, of these might you now wish to unlearn?
What new learning might you put in their place?
g) How are your childhood and family experiences likely to
affect your performance as a father now in promoting
drug-free home?
3. When the participants completed their Genograms. Ask them to
find a partner whom they are comfortable with and share what
they wrote. Ask them to share based on the Genogram guide
question. Allow 20-30 minutes for sharing.

Processing:
1. Gather the participants into new group and process the whole
activity by asking them the following questions:
a. What did your learn/discover from your sharing?
b. What are the weak and positive characteristics of your
family?
c. Is there a pattern of substance/drug abuse manifested in
your family of origin?
d. What are the different substances/drugs abusively used?
e. How were they managed and controlled?
2. Write down key messages on the board and begin integrating
these using your Key Learning Points.
3. Give the hand outs and discuss.

Application:
1. Divide the participants into four (4) groups and ask them to
prepare a slogan or a poem on how father can establish a drug
free home.
2. Ask them to present their group output in the plenary.
3. End the session by the following statement.

Drug dependents are never cured. They are recovered. The best
that fathers can do is to prevent it by establishing open and trusting
relationship with their children. Do not lecture, moralize, scold or
argue but be around to help, to give love and understanding to enable
them to cope and overcome substance abuse. Be an empathetic
listener! However, do not tolerate nor condone their addiction.

FAMILY GENOGRAM

FAMILY GENOGRAM

MODULE VIII
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN THE PREVENTION OF HIV-AIDS

SESSION 1:
Understanding HIV/AIDS

HIV-AIDS is a growing concern of medical
practitioners and social development workers.
The cases of Filipinos with HIV-AIDS are
increasing and more cases are hidden due to the
strong stigma attached to the disease. It is a
growing concern nowadays and families should
lead to take prevention measures.


Objectives:
1. Discuss what HIV-AIDS is; and
2. Discuss the HIV-AIDS situations
in the Philippines

Methodology:
Message Relay
Group Workshop
Lecture
Discussion

Acquiring HIV-AIDS is a very painful experience for a family. It can
cause deep emotional stress, deep anger, sadness, shame, loss of
hope, discrimination and separation.
HIV refers to Human Immune Deficiency Virus which causes AIDS.
AIDS is Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome that involves immune
deficiency. When a persons Immune System breaks down, he or she
becomes susceptible to many infections/ diseases, which will
eventually result in death.
There is no known cure for HIV/AIDS but it can be prevented by
correct information.
HIV can be transmitted only through:
o Blood transfusion
o Sexual intercourse
o Cervical and vaginal secretions
Materials:
Metacards (3 x 10 colored
Cartolina
Marking pens
Masking tapes
RA 8504
HIV-AIDS Philippines
statistics (acquire from your
local health department)

o Breast milk (Mother to child)
HIV-AIDS can result to draining the financial and emotional resource
of the family. Considering that it has no cure, the person affected with
HIV-AIDS shall require long institutional care particularly when various
diseases already affect the person.
Fathers have the key role in preventing HIV-AIDS by practicing safe
sex and by being faithful to the spouse.

Activity:
1. Form two equal groups asking the members of the group hold
hands, and sit side-by-side in a semi-circle.
2. Sit in the middle of the two groups holding hands with the persons
to your left and right, and tell them that you will play the silent
relay game.
3. Tell them that you are the message sender and you will send
silent number messages by pressing/squeezing the hands of the
person nearest you.
4. These two people to your left and right counts the number of
squeezes/presses they feel and then pass on the silent number
message to the next person until it reaches the last person.
5. The last person calls out or announces the number of
presses/squeezes he gets. The group who gets the exact number
of squeezes /presses wins a score.
6. Allow five to seven rounds
7. Talk about the game and lead the group to appreciating the
importance of acquiring correct information.
8. Stress that if information passed is incorrect, can affect those who
receive it.
9. Relate this with their roles as community leaders and volunteers
as information givers to families in their own communities.
10. Zero-in to the issues of HIV-AIDS, particularly unknown facts and
misconceptions (i.e. mode of transmission, cure, etc.)

Processing:
1. Ask what your trainees know about HIV-AIDS, mode of
transmission, and how it can be prevented.
2. Use your key learning points and allow more time for discussion.
3. When necessary, ask the help of your local expert to be around to
answer other medical questions.

Application:
1. Ask some of the fathers to share stories about ways to maintain a
faithful relationship.

2. Distribute paper and pens and ask them to write their wives love
letters of faithfulness.
3. Call on some volunteers to read their love letter to their wives.

SESSION 2:
Safe Sex and Other Safety Measures

This session will provide an opportunity to
discuss ways to prevent acquiring HIV-
AIDS. Considering that HIV-AIDS cannot
be cured, it is a must then for all fathers to
lead their families in preventing HIV-AIDS.


Objectives:
1. Discuss ways to practice safe sex;
and
2. Discuss ways to safeguard oneself from
acquiring HIV-AIDS.

Methodology:
Brainstorming
Group Discussion
Plenary Presentation


How can HIV transmission be prevented?
(Photocopy as handouts or you can ask for brochures in your local health
department There are also more handouts and readings in the annex)

Know and practice the ABC of safer sex and AIDS prevention:

A Abstinence: The safest way is not to have sex with anyone.
B Be Faithful: Avoid having sex with different partners.
C Condom: If you are not sure about your partner, or you have more
than one partner, using condoms properly every time you have sex
will greatly reduce your RISK.

Materials:
Metacards
Pentel Pen
Masking Tape
Handouts and
brochures

Avoid unnecessary injections. If you have to be injected, always insist
on the use of sterilized or disposable needle.

Receive blood transfusion only from a reputable blood bank that is
accredited by the Department of Health (only accredited blood banks in
the Philippines screen HIV)
Injecting drug users should be counseled on the risks of HIV/AIDS
that come with sharing of needles and syringes and harm-reduction
measures.
Mothers infected with HIV should be informed that there is 20% to
40% chance that they can pass on the infection to the infant during
pregnancy or at delivery.
Practice Safe Sex.
Complete sexual abstinence is one option, but it is not the most
practical measure for many people. A long-term mutually faithful
relationship (monogamy) is another option. Long-term means years,
not weeks. Mutually faithful means both partners being monogamous
during the relationship. If one partner has unprotected intercourse
with multiple partners, the faithful spouse or lover is actually being
exposed to possible sexually transmitted infections of the other sexual
partners.
For people who cannot abstain or remain in a long-term mutually
faithful relationship, safer sex practice remains the only other option.
Remember that this also applies to a person who is monogamous but
who is not sure about the activities of his or her sexual partner.
Safer sex includes any kind of sexual activity that prevents an
exchange of HIV-infected blood, semen, or vaginal fluids. The correct
use of condoms is one of safer sex measures to be used whenever
penetration (penile-anal; penile-vaginal) is involved. Other safer sex
activities are those not involving penetration: masturbation, petting,
necking, and kissing.
Safer sex and responsible sex are inter-related. All this can be
fulfilling and fun and quite challenging.
Used correctly latex condoms prevent infected semen or vaginal
mucus from entering the sexual partner of an infected person. HIV,
and many other infectious agents that cause sexually transmitted
diseases, cannot pass through the condom.
Because using a condom is not just a right, but a responsibility, both
partners must learn to insist on the proper use of the condom.

What is the correct use of condoms?
(Photocopy or ask brochures from your local health department)

As explained earlier, condom failure does not occur because of pores in
the condoms. The problems come with condom bursting or slipping off.
Condoms have to be used correctly and consistently (i.e. every sexual
intercourse and from start to finish).

1. Talk about it
2. Use only latex (rubber) condoms.
3. Condoms should be stored properly.
4. Do not use a condom if its package has been broken.
5. Put on the condom as soon as the penis is erect.
6. Pinch the end of the condom to squeeze air out of the reservoir
(or nipple).
7. If the penis is uncircumcised, pull back the foreskin before rolling
the condom over it.
8. Condoms that have been used for anal sex should not be used for
vaginal or oral sex.
9. After intercourse, the rim of the condom (at the base of the penis)
should be held against the man as he withdraws.
10. After removing the condom, tie a knot in the open end to confine
the semen.
11. Immediately after intercourse, both partners should wash off any
semen or vaginal secretion with soap and water.

What can society do to prevent the spread of HIV?
(Photocopy or ask brochures from your local health department)

There are many things that society can do to help prevent the spread of
HIV. But to be able to do this, there must be an openness to discuss the
many issues surrounding HIV, especially sexuality. This does not just
mean frank discussions about sex but must also extend to issues such as
gender equality. As long as women are denied a voice in sexual matters,
they will remain placed in high-risk situations.

Different sectors need to take their share of the responsibilities:

1. Media needs to report more responsibly and accurately on HIV
and AIDS.
2. Educators need to integrate into their curriculum, and to reach out
through non-formal channels to the majority of the population who
are no longer in schools.

3. Health professionals need to increase their own levels of
awareness and knowledge, as well as examine their prejudices
and values, to become effective health educators and health care
providers.

Activity:
1. Divide participants into four groups with seven to eight members
and ask them to brainstorm on how safe sex can be achieved and
what are the other safety measures that fathers can do to prevent
HIV/AIDS transmission and infection.
2. Give them 20 minutes and ask them to present their output in the
plenary.

Processing:
1. Process the activity by asking the participants the following
questions:
a. Will HIV-AIDS be prevented in our country?
b. How can fathers and the families themselves prevent
HIV-AIDS?
2. Give the handouts/brochures away and begin discussion using
your key learning points.

Application:
1. Ask the participants to remain in their groupings and provide them
with Cartolina or manila paper ask them to write a poem, a
slogan or a palit-awit that will have a message on the importance
of safer sex in preventing HIV-AIDS and what it means to secure
a safe and health family against HIV-AIDS.
2. Ask them to present their outputs in the plenary.

MODULE IX
FATHERS AS ADVOCATE IN PROMOTING POSITIVE DISCIPLINE

The 2006 World Report on Violence against Children revealed that
physical maltreatment of children in their homes is a global issue affecting
millions worldwide. Much physical violence against children takes the form
of punishment and often embedded in a cultural belief that children learn
through physical pain. The report recommends the elimination of all
corporal punishment of children and the promotion of positive, non-violent
discipline.

(Please refer to the Manual of Save the Children International as officially
adopted by the Department)

POST SCRIPT

Dear Service Provider and Father Volunteer!

Congratulations for having reached this far end of the manual!

Notice that the last session is quite a contemplative and reflective
session. What fitting way to end right?

Well at this juncture, you may need to create formal ERPAT graduation
or completion ceremony.

You can:

1. Prepare/design your own ERPAT certificates and have your local
officials sign them.
2. Re-arrange the room to make it festive
3. Arrange for food (pot luck recommended) and encourage your
participants families to come.
4. Invite local luminaries to grace the occasion.
5. Give out awards of recognition (i.e. complete attendance, most
congenial father; romantic father etc.)
6. Plan out a short program of entertainment numbers and
testimonies from the trainees.
7. Hold elections and ratify the by-laws.

But before you do all these, below we include a short session, which
family members of your father-trainees can also participate in.

Give out instructions to everyone:

I. Awareness of Gods Presence:

Guided Contemplation (in prayerful and meditative mood)

1. Start to quiet down your whole body, slowly and
gradually. Back straight, pressing against the back of the
chair. Hands relaxed and quietly resting on your thighs.
Feet relaxed on the ground. Head straight and relaxed.
2. Slowly close your eyes and keep them closed, but
relaxed.

3. Remain motionless in this portion for the rest of activity.
4. I want you now to be aware of all the sound of life around
you. Be aware of every sound of life outside of yourself,
from the strongest to the weakest sound. Sounds of
nature; Sounds of machines. Just be aware of every
sound of life outside of yourself and stay there for a while.
(Pause for a minute or two).
5. I want you to be aware of your own, normal breathing. Be
aware of every breath of air that comes in and out of you.
Be aware that this is the breath of life, without which your
life will stop and cease to be.
6. Be aware now of the loving and sustaining present of God
in every breath of life that comes in and out of you. For
God is the author of life. WHERE LIFE IS, GOD IS
THERE too. Feel his loving presence within you, and just
stay there for a while. Relish, reverence, enjoy make
friends with Gods presence within you and just stay there
for a while. (Pause for a minute or two).
7. And now as a response to His presence within you.
Quietly in your heart, express your sentiments of gratitude
to the Lord, for the gift of life. Thank you, Lord, thank you
for the gift of life.
8. Be aware of now of the sounds of life outside of yourself.
Be aware of the loving and sustaining presence of God in
every sound of life outside of yourself. Gods presence in
the chirping of the birds, in the barking of the dogs, in the
sound of the breeze, in the sounds of vehicles from afar.
9. Feel the loving and sustaining presence of God within you
and all around you, and stay there for a while (Pause).

Process the experience by asking:

1. And what would it feel like, if all of a sudden, without any
warning, someone from behind comes and just (Suddenly tear
the paper violently-make sure the tearing sounds are heard-then
crumple it and crush it in your hands) (Pause).
2. Then ask the group: What did you feel? (Ask for several
volunteers to share their feelings-one at a time. Typically, one
might say: I feel crushed Another might say: Sayang or I
feel angry) Now are those your feelings? Of course, they are,
and yet you are not the paper. This means that at a certain point
in time, you were able to forget yourself, set yourself aside and
you were able to put yourself in the situation of the paper. This is
your God given gift of empathy the gift of compassion.

3. Let us continue the activity. It is not finished yet. Say: This time, I
ask you to sit back, relax and close your eyes. Start to quiet down
your whole person, and once again, be ready to go out of
yourself. (Pause).
4. Forget yourself and with your memory and imagination, focus
your attention on one of your children- single out the son or
daughter that you feel would like to understand more. The son or
daughter that often feels misunderstood by you, or who often
irritates you.
5. Start to ask the question in your heart: What does it really feels
like to be in the place of this child of mine? Using your memory,
imaginations, and most of all your heart, ask the question again:
What does it mean to be in his/her world? On a typical day from
morning till night from the time he/she wakes up in the
morningtill the time he/she feels humiliated by me? Or
neglected by me? Or some other pain or hurt that I tend to pay
little or no attention to? Just put yourself in the shoes of that
child of yours, and stay there for a whileallowing your heart to
listen (Pause for about 4-5 minutes, in absolute silence.)(then
conclude)Slowly now, gradually come back to yourself, and
gradually open your eyes (Pause). For those of you who were
able to forget yourselves and really put yourselves in the situation
of your son or daughter, what did it feel like?
6. Allow time to share. Ask four or five fathers to share. Typically, a
father will share his/her appreciation of what it means to be in the
place of his son or daughter-the problems, hurts, etc. that is often
not paid enough attention to. Draw this out and know how these
few minutes of empathy have made one understand his child in a
deeper way. Then say: With this brief experience, we can see the
beauty and power of our ability to empathize and compassionate
with our children. This is the key to the fathers communication
and intimacy with his children
7. Now encourage dialogue among family members
8. Begin your graduation ceremony.

APPENDIX A

President
Vice President
Secretary
Treasurer
Auditor
Public Relations Officer
Peace Courting Officer

ERPAT
ASSOCIATION
OFFICERS

APPENDIX B

ERPAT ASSOCIATION OF ___________________

Name of Organization: _________________________________
Address: ____________________________________________
Name of Worker: _____________________________________

Name Position Age Address Signature

Noted by:

ERPAT PRESIDENT ERPAT SECRETARY

APPENDIX C

Empowerment Reaffirmation of Paternal Abilities
Registration Form

Identifying Data
Name: ______________________________________
Status:
Age: _________ Sex: ________ (__) Married
Date of Birth: __________ (__) Separated
Place of Birth: ________________________ (__) Widower
Occupation: __________________________ (__) Guardian
Religion: ____________________________ (__) Solo Parent
Home Address: _______________________________________
Telephone Number: ____________________

Family Composition
Name Sex Relationship Age

Educational Attainment:
Elementary: _____________________________
High School: _____________________________
Vocational: ______________________________
College: ________________________________
Others: _________________________________

Special Abilities:

Skills/Talent: ________________________________________
Hobbies: ___________________________________________
Other skills: _________________________________________
Community Involvement

School: _________________________________________
Civic: ___________________________________________
Community: ______________________________________
Workplace: _______________________________________
Others: __________________________________________

Seminars /Training Attended:

Title: _______________________________________________
Date: _______________________________________________
Organizers: __________________________________________

Title: _______________________________________________
Date: _______________________________________________
Organizers: __________________________________________

Signature: _________________________________

APPENDIX D

RECORDING OF ERPAT SESSIONS:
(To be accomplished by LGU Worker/ERPAT Volunteer, One Desk
Session)

ERPAT SESSION NO. _______ TOPIC: _____________________
DATE: ______________,
BARANGAY : _____________________________________

1. NAME OF PARTICIPANTS PRESENT : ( Attached attendance
sheet )
2. OBJECTIVE OF THE SESSION :

____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________

3. REPORT OF RESULTS OF ACTIVITIES CARRIED OUT AT
HOME IN RELATION TO PREVIOUS TOPICS ATTENDED:

____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________

4. LEARNING HIGHLIGHTS/INSIGHTS IDENTIFIED BY
PARTICIPANTS :
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________
5. PLAN OF ACTION/HOME ASSESSMENT OF EACH
PARTICIPANT RELATIVE TO TOPIC DISCUSSED IN THE
SESSION (REFER TO APPLICATION)

____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________

6. WORKERS APPLICATIONS
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
____________________________________________________
___________________________________

DATE OF NEXT SESSION: _____________________________
TOPIC: _____________________________________________

_______________________
Worker/Volunteers Signature

APPENDIX E

QUARTERLY ACCOMPLISHMENT REPORT
ERPAT
____________________________
Month/Year

ACTIVITIES
/
PROJECTS
DATE
CONDUCTED
NO.OF
PERSON
SERVED
PERSON /
AGENCY
INVOLVED
REMARKS

ISSUES/CONCERNS/RECOMMENDATIONS
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________________________
___________________________________________

Prepared and Submitted by:
________________________________

Noted by:
________________________________

APPEDNIX F

OATH OF COMMITMENT

We the members and officers of the ERPAT Association of
Barangay ______________________________________ do hereby
pledges to perform our duties and responsibilities, abide with the
Constitution and By-laws of ERPAT Association and serves as the role
model in our community.

We further commit ourselves to render volunteer service in
responding to the issues/concerns affecting our family and to support the
implementation of ERPAT program in the community.

So help me GOD.

Signed on_______________________________________200__ at
(Day and Month)
___________________________________________________________
________________________

Name and Signature of Members

__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________
__________________________ _______________________

APPENDIX G

Handouts on Family Planning

Family Planning
Does not mean stopping to have children
It means having children only when couple wants them and when they
can best take care of them.
It means not leaving conception to chance.
It is to reason for couple to choose for themselves the number of
children they want and time of birth they wish.
It is a resource because it will enable them to provide only for children
who it can afford to support.
It help in furthering national development in increasing the share of
each Filipino in the fruits of economic progress and in meeting the
goal and social challenge of the high rate of population growth.

FAMILY PLANNING- is a voluntary and positive act of couples to plan
and decide the number of children they want and when they want to have
them.

Family Planning is deciding:

The number of children a married couple wants
When to have a baby
To use the responsible means to achieve the couples desired number
of children.
To seek help so that childless couples can have children.
Underscore that family planning does not refer to the pill, or the IUD
or any of the contraceptive method alone. It refers to the concept of
spacing children and having only the number of children couple can
care for.

ADVANTAGES OF FAMILY PLANNING

To Mothers:
Enables the mother to regain her health after delivery. It takes 2 to 3
years to fully recover her health after childbirth.

Prevents young mothers (below 18 years old) and old mothers (over
35 years old) from getting pregnant because it is dangerous for them
to bear children at their age.
- Teenage mothers have the high tendency for anemia, toxemia
and prolonged labor.
- Old mothers are more likely to suffer hemorrhage because of
uterine rapture and weakness of uterine muscles. Also they have
high tendency to develop hypertension.

Provides a mother who may be suffering from some chronic illnesses
such as tuberculosis, diabetes, heart disease and anemia, enough
time for treatment and recovery without fear of getting pregnant.
Gives her enough time and opportunity to care and provide attention
to her husband and children.
Gives her time for her family and the community.

To Fathers:
Provide fathers who are suffering from chronic illnesses such as
tuberculosis, diabetes, heart disease, anemia, etc. enough time for
treatment and recovery.
Lightens his burden and responsibility in supporting his family since
he will be providing only for the children he can afford to support.
Enables him to give his children a good home, good education and a
better future.
Gives him time for his own personal advancement.
Enables him to have time and opportunity to enrich and strengthen his
relationship with his wife and with his children
Gives him feeling of fulfillment and pride in his family for having a wife
who can attend to their children and home chores and develop herself
as a woman/wife.
Provide fathers with extra resources and enough time to actively
participate in the community programs/projects.
Frees a jobless father from worry of having additional child to support.

The practice of family planning enables the children to be:

HEALTHY A healthy mother can produce healthy children.
HAPPY The children will be brought up in a happy home where they
can be given all the love and attention that they deserve.
WANTED AND SATISFIED Fewer children in the family will give
time and opportunity for mothers and fathers to attend to their growth
and development.

SECURE Fewer children in the family will mean for adequate food,
clothing, good education and meeting of other basic needs where
resources are limited.

Family Planning Methods

1. Temporary Methods methods, which can be reversed.
a. PILL
Description: Contains two hormones, estrogen and progestin, in
different proportions; comes in tablet forms; comes in 20-21 or 28
pill packs daily
How it works: Stops ovulation and thickens the cervical canal,
which prevents the sperm from entering the uterus.
b. IUD
Description: Small plastic device that is inserted through the
cervix inside the uterus.
How it works: Kills the sperm and prevents sperm from entering
the uterus, stops ovulation and causes changes in the uterus and
fallopian tubes which prevent sterilization.
c. CONDOM
Description: Rubber sheaths worn over the penis during the
intercourse.
How it works: Blocks the release of sperm into vagina. The
spermicidal lubricant also kills sperms.
d. INJECTABLE
Description: Administered every three months, injected in the arm.
How it works: Thickens the cervical mucus which prevents the
sperm from entering the uterus, stops ovulation and causes
changes in the uterus and the fallopian tubes which prevents
fertilization.

2. Natural Family Planning Methods
a. Cervical Mucus Method
Description: The mother monitors/checks and records the
character of the cervical mucus daily except during menstruation.
How it works: Prevents pregnancy through abstaining from sexual
intercourse during the womans fertile period.
b. Basal Body Temperature (BBT)
Description: Fertile and infertile days are approximated by
observing changes in the womans body temperature.
c. Symptothermal Method

Description: A combination of recording of basal body
temperature and observing the changes in the cervical mucus and
other changes that may occur before ovulation.
d. Lactational Amenorrhea Method (LAM)
Description: Full and exclusive breastfeeding within six months
after delivery.

3. Permanent Method
a. Bilateral Tubal Ligation (Female Sterilization)
Description:
b. Vasectomy (Male Sterilization)
Description: Small incision is made in both sides of the scrotum
to expose the vas deference, which is then cut, clipped; requires
local anesthesia. There are health facilities/centers offering
family planning services.

APPENDIX H

More Handouts on HIV-AIDS
1. What is HIV?

HIV refers to the Human Immunodeficiency Virus, which causes AIDS

2. How does HIV affect the body?

Most people whose blood streams have recently been infected by HIV,
look and feel perfectly healthy. After a few years, however, many of the
infected will develop a condition in which appear intermittent or persistent
symptoms of fever, fatigue, weakness, diarrhea, and malaise, loss of
weight and generalized swelling of lymph nodes in the neck, armpits or
groin. Other symptoms may also include patches in the mouth and
tongue, sores in the genital areas, buttocks, or mouth, athletes foot, etc.
This condition may persist for an extended period of time and it may even
disappear, but frequently precedes the more serious syndrome of AIDS.

As the infected immune system deteriorates, the patient tends to develop
a variety of recurrent or chronic infections that can take advantage of a
severely weakened body to produce devastating and eventually fatal
diseases.

3. What are the stages of HIV infections?
HIV Positive
Symptomatic- the persons blood test is positive of HIV antibodies
and has developed a mild form of the disease.
Asymptomatic The persons blood test is positive but subject
does not show any physical manifestation.
The person may feel and look well for years but can spread the
virus to others.
Full-blown AIDS
The persons immune system is impaired
The person develops a variety of serious illnesses.

AIDS is Acquired Immune Deficiency Syndrome

AIDS involves an IMMUNE DEFICIENCY. When a persons immune
system breaks down, she becomes susceptible to many infections, which
eventually result in death.

AIDS is a SYNDROME, a combination of signs and symptoms that form a
distinct clinical picture of disorder.

How is HIV detected?

Testing for the presence of HIV or antibodies produced by the body in
response to the presence of the virus remains an important method for
prompt diagnoses, and leads to the administration of early medical care
that may delay or prevent complications.

However, once the infection occurs, the human body may take from six
weeks to a year or more to produce the antibodies that can be detected
through tests. For this reason, a negative test should not provide a
definite sense of security to a person that has been exposed to the HIV
infection.

The most common tests used in the Philippines are the ELISA test
(Enzyme-Linked ImmunoSorbent Assay) and the P.A. (Particle
Agglutination) after two positive screening tests, a confirmatory test
(Western Blot or Immunofluorescence test) is administered to validate the
screening test results.

What is the Difference between HIV Infection and AIDS?

HIV only infects human beings, and destroys the bodys defense that
fights other diseases. HIV multiplies inside the body and attacks the
defenses of the infected person. Sometimes HIV is called the AIDS virus,
because being infected with HIV can lead to AIDS. But having HIV
infection is not the same as having AIDS. The virus can lie inactive in the
human body as long as 10 years without causing any symptoms. Initially a
person infected with HIV does not have the actual disease (AIDS) and
he/she may look and feel healthy. However, she/her carries the HIV for
the rest of her/his life and can spread the HIV to others.

What happens to a person after HIV infection?

Each infectious disease can be described as having a natural history,
moving from one stage to another. In all infectious disease, there is a
period between the time of infection and the appearance of symptoms.
This period can be short for diseases such as the common cold (one to
two days). With leprosy, it takes three to five years. With HIV, the period
between infection and the appearance of AIDS can be as long as seven
to 12 years.

Does a person who is infected with HIV still look and feel healthy?

Definitely: A few days to a few weeks after becoming infected with HIV,
some (not all) people will develop symptoms like those of flu or
mononucleosis; fatigue, headaches, fever, sore throat, lymphadenopathy
(enlarged lymph nodes) and sweating. These acute illness episodes last
for one to three weeks. Most people will not be able to relate illness to HIV
infection.

This period of acute infection is short. It is followed by a stage that may
last a few months to a few years, during which the person with HIV will
have no signs or symptoms of HIV infection. But while the person may
look and feel healthy, he or she can transmit the virus. During this period,
HIV begins to weaken the immune system and eventually AIDS develops.

The data from industrialized countries show that about 60 percent of
adults will progress to AIDS within 12 years after becoming infected with
HIV. Remember that all these figures are averages. There are people who
develop AIDS within a short time after the infection and there are others
who live past 12 years without AIDS.

How does AIDS eventually develop?

Once it is in the blood circulation, HIV invades several types of cells
including lymphocytes, macrophages, langerhans cells, and neurons
within the central nervous system.

The reason HIV is so deadly is that it attacks the bodys immune system.

How HIV destroys the immune system?

HIV infection is systematic, affecting many different part of the immune
system.

As the bodys immune system slows down because of HIV, many different
illnesses can occur with different signs and symptoms. Middle HIV-related
illnesses have symptoms such as enlarge lymph nodes, unexplained
weight loss, persistent night sweats. Note that these symptoms are very
general and could come with many other illnesses not related to HIV.
Eventually, life-threatening opportunistic infections and cancers set in and
the person dies within one to three years.

1. Rise of opportunistic infections and cancers found in AIDS

Opportunistic infections (OIs) are so called because they take advantage
of the hosts weakened immune responses. It may be caused by an
organism that does not usually cause diseases in human beings (for
example: Mycobacterium avium, which usually infects birds) or it may
cause more severe diseases than it usually does in a person with a
normal immune system (for example: herpes simplex ulcers lasting more
than a month). In AIDS, a person may have several opportunities for
infections which make it more difficult for the body to fight back.

Some of these are the following:

1.1. Cancers

People whose immune systems have been weakened by HIV may be
more vulnerable to cancers. One explanation is that in a weakened
immune system, the lymphocytes are not able to detect and destroy
malignant cells as quickly. Another explanation is the HIV infection may
activate cancer causing agents.

1.2 Other Illnesses

HIV virus is aggravated by other illnesses such as chronic diarrhea that
come with cryptosporidiosis.

HIV directly affects the brain and causes HIV dementia with disturbances
of brain functions including memory, orientation, comprehension, learning
capacity, language and judgment. HIV dementia is usually found in the
more advanced stages of AIDS.

Finally, we should recognize the many psychiatric problems that may
come with HIV and AIDS. Some of these may be directly due to the
infections itself, as when the virus or other opportunistic infections affect
the central nervous system. In other case, the behavioral problem
depression, alcohol or drug dependency and self-destructive behavior
comes as part of coping with a disease that presently has no cure and is
so heavily stigmatized.

1.3. Tuberculosis

HIV infection weakens the immune system. Thus, tuberculosis may be
reactivated, by speeding up a primary infection, or be external re-
infection. Tuberculosis will in turn accelerate HIV diseases by activating

HIV production in lymphocytes and macrophages, which helps to spread
HIV infection infections to other cells.

Tuberculosis in patients with HIV can be pulmonary (in the lungs) but a
large percentage also has extra pulmonary disease, involving the bone
marrow, the liver and the lymph nodes. About half of HIV patients with
advanced tuberculosis will also develop disseminated Mycobacterium
avium intracellulare (MAI) infection.

How is HIV transmitted?

A person must already be infected with HIV to transmit it to others to other
people. The longer a person had been infected the more of HIV he or she
will carry, although medical research also shows that virus levels are very
high initially after infection.

Much of the literature about HIV talks about body fluids as the medium
through which the virus is passed. This tends to be misleading. HIV does
thrive in many types of body fluids but for an infection to occur there must
be: a) sufficient amount of the virus transmitted; and b) a way for the virus
to enter in the bloodstream. These two conditions must be met for an
infection to take place. To understand how this works, let us look at two
case examples.

One is saliva, around which there are many myths (e.g. kissing transmits
HIV). The reason saliva is not a way for transmitting HIV is that there are
much too low concentrations of the virus in this fluid. Even in patients with
periodontal (gum) diseases, infected cells have rarely been found. This is
probably because saliva itself has anti-viral properties.

In assessing the risks of infection, always consider the amount of blood
and the possibilities of such bloods entering another persons
bloodstream. Thus, the risks for infection through a barbers razor or
through manicuring equipment are quite low because the amount of blood
is very small and is unlikely to be infectious.

The types of body fluids through which HIV is most likely to be transmitted
are:

Blood and blood products
Semen
Cervical and vaginal secretions
Breast milk

Manners of HIV Transmissions

Since HIV is found mainly in blood, semen, cervical and vaginal mucus,
and breast milk, we can see why the virus is more likely to be transmitted
through:

a. Sexual Intercourse:

By having unprotected sexual intercourse with a person who has the virus
would be the main route of transmitting infected semen and cervical or
vaginal secretion. This accounts for approximately 80% of the worldwide
transmission.

b. Blood Transfusions:

A person receiving HIV-infected blood or blood products has a high risk of
getting the infection. Note, however, that a person donating blood is not at
risk for HIV infections. The risk comes with receiving infected blood.

c. Sharing of Infected Syringes and Needles Used Intravenously by Drug
Users:

An infected person who injects drugs into himself/herself might share
needles with other users. Since these drug users often draw blood back
into the syringes to check in the needle and syringe, HIV is transmitted
along with the drug or medicine injected using infected syringe and
needles. The amount of infected blood may be small but because
injections are done repeatedly and involve exposure to the blood of
several people, the chances of infection become higher.

d. Vertically or Perinatally (from a pregnant woman to the fetus during
pregnancy, child delivery or breast feeding):

About 20 to 40 percent of babies born to mothers infected with HIV will be
infected. The virus may be transmitted from the mother to the child
through the placenta, or during the birth process itself. Risks of
transmission appears to be greater when the mother has developed
advanced AIDS.

e. Organ Donation:

Since donated organs contain large amounts of blood, the chances of HIV
infection are high if a person receives an organ from an infected donor.

f. Accidental Exposure in Hospitals and Clinics:

The most common route of infection in health care setting is through
needle sticks injuries or cuts with sharp instruments contaminated with
HIV.

HIV and other Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs)

It is essential to highlight the need to prevent and treat other infections
like HIV are passed on during unprotected sexual intercourse. Having an
STD increases the risk of being infected with HIV, or of passing on HIV,
by as much as mine times during sex (where one partner has HIV). STDs
are also much more difficult to treat effectively for people with HIV
infection.

The World Health Organization (WHO) estimated that at least one in ten
sexually active people is infected with STD annually. Young people of
both sexes are particularly vulnerable to STD. Young peoples ages 15 to
24 have the highest rate of new HIV infection in most countries.

It is very important that people know how to prevent STDs, recognize its
symptoms and have access to sympathetic and effective treatment.

What are STDs?

The term sexually transmitted disease (STD) is used for all infections
that are transmitted mainly though sexual contact, during unprotected
vaginal or anal intercourse. Some are also transmitted from mother to
child before or during birth and through unsafe blood donations.

What are the Common Infections?

Gonorrhea (the clap) - One of the most common STIs is caused by
bacteria. It often has no symptoms in women. Symptoms may include
abdominal pain and (in men) urethral discharging or (in women) smelly,
pus-like vaginal discharge. It can lead to pelvic inflammatory disease
(PID). It can cause infertility and can cause infection in babies during
birth, leading to eye infections of blindness. Gonorrhea can be identified
by a laboratory test. It can be cured with antibiotics.

Syphilis Bacterial infection that can cause genital or anal ulcers. The
bacteria can be spread from a pregnant woman to the fetus, as well as

through sexual contact. If left untreated of some years, syphilis can lead
to nerve damage and death. It can be cured with antibiotics.

Chancroid Bacterial infection common in tropical countries. It is
transmitted sexually. It causes painful ulcers on the genitals, which can be
difficult to distinguish form syphilis ulcers. Chancroid can be identified by a
laboratory test. It can be cured with antibiotics.

Chlamydia Very common bacterial infection, which can lead to pelvic
inflammatory disease (PID), a more serious infection. The bacteria exist in
the mucous membrane of reproductive organs such as the vagina, cervix,
urethra or anus. They cause inflammation leading to heavy vaginal
discharge, pain when urinating or during sex, bleeding after sex, or pain in
the abdomen. Men may have discharge from the penis or pain when
urinating. Chlamydia can cause infection in babies during birth, leading to
eye infections or blindness.

Chlamydia often has no symptoms in women. It often goes undetected
and untreated, increasing risk of PID. Chlamydia is detected by a blood
test or a sample taken from the area that may have been infected. It can
be cured with antibiotics.

Pelvic Inflammatory Disease (PID) - Affects women only. It affects the
cervix, uterus, ovaries or uterine tubes. It is caused by various bacteria or
viruses, most commonly Chlamydia and gonorrhea. With correct
diagnoses of the bacteria causing it, it can be cured.

Symptoms include pain in the lower abdomen and back, fever and
vomiting. If PID is not treated, more sever symptoms, such as bleeding
between periods and unusually painful periods, may develop and may
eventually lead to infertility.

Diagnosis is difficult. It needs a pelvic examination, taking swab from the
cervix or inspecting the pelvic area by laparoscopy (a surgical procedure
requiring general anesthetic). PID can be cured with antibiotics.

As PID is usually caused by infections that are transmitted sexually, such
as Chlamydia, it is essential that womens sexual partners are also
examined and any STIs treated.

Genital Herpes Caused by the herpes simplex virus which is
transmitted sexually. It caused small, painful blisters on the genitals,
which turn into ulcers. The ulcers disappear but usually come back from
time to time. Once someone has the virus there in no way of getting rid of

it, although the ulcers may be absent for several months. Some people
with herpes show no symptoms. The virus can be transmitted to a baby
during birth, if the woman has ulcers.

Treatment with acyclovir can make the ulcers heal faster. Rest, sleep and
a good diet make them less likely to come back.

Genital Warts Caused by the human papilloma virus which is usually
transmitted sexually. The warts are small, fairly flat bumps which appear
on their own or in clumps. Once someone has the virus, it may continue to
be present in the body although warts may not appear again. In women,
the virus has been linked to the development of cervical cancer.

Warts are very common and are very easily passed during sexual activity.
They are burnt off using special chemical compounds. Other methods
such as freezing or laser treatment can also be used.

Thrust (Candida) Thrust looks like a white coating growing in moist
parts of the body, such as the vagina or throat or under the foreskin in
uncircumcised men. It is one of the most common vaginal infections.

A person with thrust can transmit it to their sexual partner.

Most women have thrust at some time in their life. It is common in babies
and in adults who are tired and stressed, diabetic, taking antibiotics or
have a damaged immune system because of HIV infection. It causes
itching or pain.

Thrust is easily treated with anti-fungal drugs. Live yoghurt, eaten or
applied to the affected areas, can prevent and treat thrust. (Live yoghurt
contains bacteria, which stops the thrush from growing). Some people
recommend avoiding sweet foods, white flour and starchy foods.

Bacterial Vaginosis Thin, gray-white vaginal discharge with an
unpleasant smell, caused by bacteria. It can be passed on by sexual
contact.

Some women do not notice any symptoms. Men can be infected without
any symptoms.

Bacterial vaginosis is easily treated with antibiotics. There is some
evidence that infection with vaginosis increases the risk if co-infection with
other STIs.

APPENDIX I

A short input on Empathy

Written by: Fr. Ruben M. Tanseco, S.J., Center for Family Ministries
(CEFAM), Ateneo De Manila University

What is Empathy?
Seek First to Understand, Then to be Understood. (S. Covey)

Empathetic listening and the Empathetic sharing! This is what we are
asking every father present here to learn as his most potent, personal and
spiritual skills toward real intimacy with his wife and every one of his
children.

I said spiritual skill because without Gods presence being experienced by
the father as we saw in the previous session (Maka-Diyos) he will
not succeed in being real, habitual, empathetic listener and sharer.

EMPATHETIC LISTENING. Empathy means nothing more and nothing
less than COMPASSION. It is to reach to the other by setting myself
aside, so that I can understand the other with my heart, and not with my
critical, logical, judgmental mind. To enter the world of the other, place
myself in the shoes of the other, so that I could BE WITH, THINK WITH
and FEEL WITH the OTHER. Other here means either the wife, or a
son, or a daughter.

To experience reality from the others world and perspective is easier said
and done, particularly when I am feeling angry, or hurt, or emotionally
upset. Before I can experience empathy, I need to become aware of my
love for the one I am trying to listen to (my wife, son or daughter). And
then I need to be aware of Gods presence within me, and in the person of
the other, as we have learned in our session on Maka-Diyos.

And it is the same love and Gods loving presence within me that will
motivate me to share myself with empathy.

EMPATHETIC SHARING

As a father, I need to share deepest feelings, not only positive feelings
(like my love, joy, tenderness, and others), my also negative and
ambivalent feelings, precisely, when I am faced with a conflict situation
with my wife, son or daughter - my feelings of anger, hurt, confusion, and
others.

With empathy in my heart, especially after having listened to the other
with empathy, I now express my negative and ambivalent feelings by
means of I-Messages not you-messages. (E.g. I feel very upset in
what you are telling me rather than You did something very bad).

Here, you own your feelings, reporting them directly but in a non-
judgmental way, in an empathic way.

Describe how the situation is affecting you. (E.g. Every time this
happens, my feelings of affection suffer, and seem to grow cold.)

In conclusion then: When a father is able to practice both empathetic
listening and empathetic sharing with members of his family, there is no
doubt that his intimacy with them will grow, as well as his friendship and
love for his family.

Process Activities on Empathy

A. Demo-Session
(The facilitator will now demonstrate how empathetic listening and
empathetic sharing are done by taking the role of a father, and asking a
volunteer from the group to take the role of a son. In front of the whole
group, the two will now role-play a typical conflict situation between father
and son. A 20-minute session would be sufficient.

An open forum will then follow, where questions and clarifications can be
entertained.)

B. Role-Play Session in Small Groups
(A role-play session will now be done in small groups. In every group, one
will take the role of father, and another will take the role of son. They then
role-play a typical problem-situation between father and son.

Processing in the small group follows.

This will end with processing in the total group for the learning of the
participants).

C. Sample Case Studies for Role-Play Sessions
1. A teenage, unmarried daughter asks for a dialogue with her father and
reveals to him that she is pregnant.

2. A teenage son asks for a dialogue with his father and reveals to him
that he cannot graduate from high school because he flunked his final
exams.

APPENDIX J

DIRECTORY OF TREATMENT AND REHABILITATION CENTERS

A. Residential Centers

NATIONAL CAPITAL REGION (NCR)

Bridges of Hope Drugs and
Alcoholic Rehabilitation Center
364 Aguirre Ave, Ph3 BF Homes, Paraaque City
Contact Person: Mr. Arturo Crespo
Program Director
Tel No: (02) 571-9951
Fax No: (02) 871-5578
Capacity: 20 (Male and Female)

Department of Health-
Bicutan Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Camp Bagong Diwa, Bicutan, Taguig City
Contact Person: Dr. Marvin V. Diokno
Director II
Tel No: (02) 379-5553
(02) 379-5551

Marikina Rehabilitation Center
East Drive St., cor. Champagnat St.,
Marikina Heights, Marikina City
Contact Person: Mr. Alfredo P. Castro Jr.
Center Administrator
Tel No: (02) 475-4269
Fax No: (02) 645-6407

New Bilibid Prison Drug Abuse
Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
NBP Reservation, Brgy. Poblacion, Muntinlupa City
Contact Person: Dr. Ricardo Anselmo
Tablang, Program Administrator
Tel No: (02) 850-0992
Capacity: 50 (Male)

Quezon City Drug Treatment and
Rehabilitation Center Tahanan
Diamond Hills Subdivision, Group II Area B
Payatas, Quezon City
Contact Person: Ms. Rowena T. Macatao
Officer In-Charge
Tel No: (02) 922-4361
(02) 444-7272

Roads and Bridges to Recovery
520 EDBEN Bldg. Dr. Sixto Antonio Ave.,
Maybunga, Pasig City
Contact Person: Dr. Benita Sta. Ana-Ponio
Executive Director
Tel No: (02) 643-6006
Fax No: (02) 643-4572

REGION III

Bulacan Drug Rehabilitation Foundation, Inc.
Serapio-Ting Ville, San Nicolas, Bulakan, Bulacan
Contact Person: Dr. Roberto D. Ramirez
Tel No: (044) 896-0319

Central Luzon Drug Rehabilitation Center
Brgy. Sto. Nio, Magalang, Pampanga
Contact Person: Mr. Benigno Espino
Executive Director
Tel No: 0918-9029194
0917-5159985

Nanay Drug and Alcohol Rehabilitation Center
Gulod, Poblacion, Pandi, Bulacan
Contact Person: Dr. Virginia Tordesillas
Tel No: 0916-6275132
(044) 815-4670

Rebirth Philippines Therapeutic Community Foundation, Inc.
71 Wakas South, Pilar, Bataan
Contact Person: Eloisa S. Tria, DMD
Executive Director
Tel No: (047) 791-2166
(047) 237-5377

REGION IV-A

Bridgehall Community Foundation, Inc. Treatment Facility
For Alcoholics and Drug Dependence
Brgy. Banaba, Cerca, Indang, Cavite
Contact Person: Mr. Dennis C. Enciso
President
Contact No: 0917-7946734
0917-8005501

Center for Christian Recovery
777 Outlook Drive, Loresville, Subdivision,
San Roque, Antipolo City
Contact Person: Mr. Cenen Enrique W. Corpus
Executive Director
Tel No: (02) 697-5861

Change and Recovery (CARE)
D. Cruzado Road, Guinhawa South, Tagaytay City
Contact Person: Mr. Peter Paul S. Flordelis
Facility Director
Contact No: 0917-8982935
(046) 695-8009

Cheers Therapeutic Community, Inc.
25 Patutong Malaki, South, Tagaytay City
Contact Person: Mr. Endrico G. Gentile
Program Director
Tel No: (046) 413-2802
(02) 504-1797

Crossroads Treatment and Rehabilitation, Inc.
5 Woodpecker Drive, Victoria Valley Subdivision, Antipolo City
Contact Person: Fr. Clifford G. Gavina
Executive Director
Tel No: (02) 871-0086

Tagaytay City Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Ipil St., Kaybagal South, Tagaytay City
Contact Person: Dr. Carmelita B. Belgica
Chief
Tel No: (046) 483-1334
Capacity: 120 (Male)

The Nazareth Foemation House
A Bob Garon Therapeutic Community
Brgy. Lapo-Lapo St, San Jose, Batangas
Contact Person: Ms. Emerita Garon
Executive Director
Tel No: (02) 820-6107
(043) 706-3338
Fax No: (02) 826-6234
Capacity: 50 (Male AND Female )

Seagulls Flight Foundation, Inc.
Brgy. Neogan, Aguinaldo Highway, Tagaytay City
HQ: 504 Park Trade Center 1716, Investment Drive
Madrigal Business Park, Ayala, Alabang, Muntinlupa City
Contact Person: Mr. Eddie L. Castillo
President
Tel No: (02) 809-4847
(02) 809-8776
(046) 413-4542

Self-Enhancement for Life Foundation, Inc.
77 Brgy. Miranda, Talisay, Batangas
HQ: Unit 506 Southgate Bldg. Finance Drive
Madrigal Business Park, Ayala, Alabang, Muntinlupa City
Contact Person: Mr. Martin R. Infante
President
Tel No: (02) 809--3491
(043) 773-0354
(046) 413-4542
Fax: (02) 809-7235

Serenity House of Sobriety
3575 ME Calamba Rd, Brgy Sungay East, Tagaytay City
Contact Person: Ms. Amy Gay V. Laboc
Center Director
Tel No: (046) 483-1637
(046) 860-2558

Springwells of Hope, Inc. Drug and
Alcohol Abuse Rehabilitation Center
55 Brgy. Pansol, Calamba, Laguna
Contact Person: Mr. Gonzalo Jesus R. Garcia III
Managing Director
Tel No: (02) 420-8243
Fax No: (049) 545-3644

Tahanan ng Kabataan ng Laguna
Brgy. Bungkol, Magdalena, Laguna
(Provincial Social Welfare and Development Office)
Contact Person: Mr. Ernesto Montecillo
Center Director
Tel No: (049) 501-2294
Capacity: 50 (Male)

One Algon Place Foundation, Inc.
0633 Brgy. Mamatid, Cabuyao, Laguna
Contact Person: Ms. Mariaceli Gonzales
Program Administrator
Tel No: (049) 502-2297
(02) 861-0593

REGION V

Camarines Sur Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Pamukid, San Fernando, Camarines Sur
Contact Person: Dr. Ma. Lourdes Anson
Officer In-Charge
Tel No: (054) 478-4769

Malinao Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Brgy. Comun, Malinao, Albay
Contact Person: Dr. Ma. Teresa C. Iigo
Officer In-Charge
Tel No: (052) 830-5390
Fax No: (052) 483-0840
Capacity: 60 (Male)

REGION VI

Negros Occidental Drug Rehabilitation Center
Ang Dalangpan
Camp Gen. Anicato Lacson Cpd, Victoria City, Negros Occidental
Contact Person: Dr. Ernesto A. Palanca
Executive Director
Telefax: (034) 399--3388

WVMC Substance Abuse
Brgy. Rumbang, Pototan, Iloilo
Contact Person: Dr. Mariano S. Hembra
OIC-TRC Chief
Tel No: (033) 529-8955
Capacity: 50 (Male)

REGION VII

Cebu North General Hospital Chemical
Dependents Control and Rehabilitation Center
Kauswagan Road, Talamban Cebu City
Contact Person: Mr. Manuel Delos Santos
Program Director
Tel No: (032) 343-7777

House of Hope, Inc.
888 B9-A Osmea St., Gun-ob, Lapu-Lapu City, Cebu
Contact Person: Pastor Roel M. Allocod
Center Director
Tel No: (032) 340-7941
Fax No: (032) 239-0309
Capacity: 50 (Male)

Roads and Bridges to Recovery, Cebu Branch
Upper Maliu Beach St., Subangdaku, Mandaue City, Cebu
Contact Person: Dr. Benita Sta. Ana-Ponio
Executive Director
Tel No: (02) 643-6006
(032) 344-2142

We Do Recover, The Center for Creative Living Solutions
3
rd
Street, La Guardia, Lahug, Cebu City
Contact Person: Mr. Vicente G. Aldanese
Center Director
Telefax No: (032) 231-5229
0918-9379851

REGION VIII

Dulag, Leyte Treatment and Rehabilitation Center
Brgy. Highway, Dulag Leyte
Contact Person: Dr. Teresita M. Cajano
Facility Head
Tel No: (053) 322-2200
Capacity: 30 (Male)

REGION X

It Works! Chemical Dependency Treatment Center
Purok Mauswagon, Tinago, Ozamis City
Misamis Occidental
Contact Person: Mr. Florencio Francisco
Program Director
Tel No: (088) 521-1281
Capacity: 25 (Male)

Misamis Occidental Drug Treatment and Rehabilitation
Center
Purok 1, Brgy. Buenavista, Oroqueta City
Contact Person: Jonathan Callanta
Program Director
Tel No: (088) 531-1639
Telefax: (088) 586-0341

REGION XI

Davao City Treatment and Rehabilitation Center for Drug
Dependents
Bago Oshiro, Tugbok District, Davao City
Contact Person: Dr. Gene L. Gulanes
Center Manager
Tel No: (082) 293-0252

Luntiang Paraiso Regional Rehabilitation Center for
Drug and Alcoholic Dependency
Purok 2, Brgy. Poblacion, Municipality of New Corella
Province of Davao del Norte
Contact Person: Ms. Gabriela S. Logronio
Executive Director
Contact No: 0916-3747024
Capacity: 50 (Male)

New Day Recovery Center, Inc.
Babista Compd., Beach Club Rd.
Lanang, Davao City
Contact Person: Mr. Jerry Joseph C. Valderama
Addiction Program Director
Tel No: (082) 234-1002
(082) 233-1719

REGION - CARAGA

New Living Solutions Chemical
Dependency Treatment Center
Purok 3, Brgy. Sto. Nio Magallanes, Agusan del Norte
Contact Person: Mr. Alonzo T. L. Young
President
Tel No: (085) 225-3485
Telefax: (085) 342-5093

B. Non- Residential Centers

REGION National Capital Region

The New Beginnings Foundation, Inc.
Unit 101 Midland Mansion Condominium
839 Pasay Road, Makati City
Contact Person: Mr. Conrado L. Ayuyao Jr.
Executive Director
Telefax: (02) 894-5399

REGION XI

CHD XI Outpatient and Aftercare Center for Drug Dependents
CHD Davao Region. J.P. Laurel Ave., Bajada Davao City
Contact Person: Mr. Rustum Fanugao Jr.
Officer In-Charge
Tel No: (082) 305-1495

ARMM

Maguindanao Provincial Hospital Outpatient
MPH Compound, Limpongo Shariff Aguak, Maguindanao
Contact Person: Dr. Harris Macapeges
Municipal Health Officer
Tel No: (064) 489-0932

REFERENCES

Biller, Henry B. and Trotter, Robert J. The Father Factor, 1994

Catalfo, Philip. Raising Children in a Material World, 1997

Dodson, Fitzhugh. How to Father, 1975

Dangerous Drugs Act of 1972 (Republic Act 6425)

DSWD. Parent Effectiveness Service Manual, 2001

DSWD. Marriage Counseling Service Manual, 2002

DSWD, Manual on National Family Violence Prevention Program, 2000

DSWD/Philippine National AIDS Council CPNAC, Care and Support; A
Self Instructional Manual for Social Workers or HIV/AIDS/STI, 2002

Gray, John. Men are from Mars, Women ad from Venus, 1992

Hunter, Lyda. Parenting on Your Own, 1997

Lewis, Paul. The Five Key Habits of SMART DADS, 1996

Osherson, Samuel. Finding Our Fathers, 1986

Vidal, Plaridel F. War Against Drug Abuse, 1998.

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