Susbauer 1

AdriAnne Susbauer
Professor John Smyth
ENG 448 Final Paper
07 January, 2013
Repulsion and Attraction in Becketts First Love
In the literary world, genres such as romanticism perpetuate the myth that aestheticism
must be found in the attractive or the ideal. The reading of such literature has influenced the
tastes of American society, and philosophers such as Immanuel Kant have added to the
persuasion that beauty and disgust cannot co-exist. However, the age of modernism brought new
beliefs about aesthetics and authors, such as Samuel Beckett, who supported those developments
(Ben-Zvi). In his short story, First Love, the unnamed protagonist is a transient character who
repels the world of the living and, instead, seeks supineness of the mind and the dulling of the
self (31). When he begins a relationship with a prostitute named Lulu, the protagonist is drawn
out of mental stagnation by confusion over his attraction and simultaneous repulsion to her. By
juxtaposing the feelings of repulsion and attraction and then blurring the lines between the
juxtaposition, Beckett challenges the thought that aestheticism must only be rooted in what is
pleasing and, instead, expands that definition to include the lows of human experience (Ben-Zvi).
The protagonist first reveals his disgust with mankind and preference for the dead when
he states that, the smell of corpses, distinctly perceptible under those of grass and humus
mingled, I do not find unpleasantbut how infinitely preferable to what the living emit (Beckett
26). From the beginning of the short story, he pits himself against the aesthetic tastes of 21
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Century America. While he prefers the smell of corpses, most individuals would indicate their
displeasure at such an experience and would rather come to terms with the biological processes
Formatted: Highlight
Comment [A1]: Read this out loud to make sure
it says what you want it to say.
Comment [A2]: Does the narrator repel the
living world, or is he repelled by it?
Comment [A3]: It sounds like he does this a few
times. Consider revising to say something like by
playing with the lines between repulsion and
attraction through both juxtaposing and burring
them (rough idea)
Comment [A4]: This is your thesis, however why
is it important? At the end of your essay you
comment on the fact that this is a demonstration of
real human life, which is not represented by the
common romanticized novel. Perhaps bring that it
relate it to the real human experience.
Comment [A5]: Provide support this sounds
like a sweeping statement
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of their living bodies. Beckett pairs the smell of decay with the scent of grass and humus, both
living elements, in order to show that both stages of life are natural.
The protagonist then goes on to describe what body parts he finds disagreeable in
humans, such as sticky foreskins and frustrated ovules while making fun of their attempt at
veiling such bodily atrocities. Besides the brief reference to foreskins and frustrated, Beckett
strews alliteration throughout his description of body parts with questionably aesthetic functions
to include feet, armpits, and arses (26). Not only does the alliteration make a pleasing
sound when read aloud, but draws the readers attention to the contrast of its auditory
attractiveness with the repulsive words it is describing. The contrast of pleasing auditory sounds
combined with the negative thoughts associated with the descriptions emphasizes the authors
sardonic tone when he urges those who opinion differs from his own to keep to their public
parks and beauty spots (26). For both Beckett and the protagonist, the natural course of life and
death, even in its unpleasantness, is authentic and makes those who cover their frustration and
stickiness shallow. As can be seen later in the story, it is the authenticity of the highs and lows in
life that are attractive and not some aesthetic ideal.
Along with alliteration, Beckett includes physical descriptions which einvoke the readers
senses in the protagonists discussion of graveyards and the living. In the first part of the
passage, the unnamed man describes the smell of the corpses as sweet and a trifle heady and,
although he may not be attracted to the smell, he would rather be amongst the dead than to have
to live with the sticky foreskins and frustrated ovules of his neighbors (26). Smell, touch,
feelings, and even taste are experienced by the reader when reading this page and it is interesting
to note that Beckett gives the more positive descriptions to decaying bodies and the less positive
descriptions to the living. When the readers senses are awakened by the descriptions, they are
Comment [A6]: Thesis of the paragraph.
Consider moving this to the beginning of the
paragraph then the paragraph to surround this.
Comment [A7]: In American writing (not Oxford)
keep punctuation inside the parenthesis there are
a few points in your essay where youll want to look
for this
Comment [A8]: Consider starting the sentence
with The alliteration not only creates. To make it
stronger
Comment [A9]: So what? How is this important
to us as readers? What is the point youre trying to
make in this paragraph?
Comment [A10]: Is it the authors sardonic tone,
or the narrators? Not having read the piece, I dont
know if its written from a different perspective, but
Im assuming its coming from first person
narration?
Comment [A11]: Is Beckett the one saying this,
or are we getting this from the narrator? Where is
the authors opinion made clear (such as an
introduction or a piece of literary criticism which
describes his opinion)?
Comment [A12]: This feels randomly inserted.
Consider providing additional support for it, or
create its own paragraph.
Comment [A13]: Beckett or the narrator?
Attributing the alliteration and other literary devices
to the author is awesome, but be careful to
separate the narrator and the author with regards
to content.
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drawn into the characters world of imperfection and are more able to discern the beauty that
comes from the disgusting, but authentic, processes of life. The protagonist is able to see beneath
the unnatural layer of perfumed, washed individuals and notice that their bodies are just as
repulsive and natural as the corpses lying in the ground. The beauty of nature in its imperfection
raises questions about whether a more romanticized view of life is indeed more aesthetically
preferable than the truth.
According to Linda Ben-Zvi, author for the Johns Hopkins University Press, Becketts
use of disgust to create beauty seems to be a denial of the Kantian claims that: (1) nothing is so
much set against the beautiful as disgust; and that disgust is the one kind of ugliness which
cannot be represented in accordance with nature without destroying all aesthetical satisfaction.
However, critics such as Simon Critchley argue against Kants view that both attractiveness and
disgust cannot be intertwined and result in a new kind of aesthetic ideal. The juxtaposition of the
perfume and public parks with decaying corpses produces, as Critchley states, A disjunction or
incongruity is created between the way things are and the way they are represented, producing a
sense of the world with its causal chains broken, its social practices turned inside out, and
common sense rationality left in tatters (Ben-Zvi)." Ben- Zvi claims that the incongruity
between reality and representation may provide the reader with a new opinion of aesthetics and
that the representation of the body in its authenticity show a less idealized form of human
experience, possibly causing a different belief about attractiveness.
The moment in First Love when the juxtaposition between repulsion and attraction is
blurred, is when the protagonist meets Lulu while reclining on a park bench. After a few silent
meetings, physical contact between the two begins as does the protagonists confusion to
whether he hates or loves Lulu. When Lulu remarks, You have only to put your feet on my
Comment [A14]: What does this do for the
reader? This seems to be the main point of this
paragraph.
Comment [A15]: What is the more romanticized
view?
Comment [A16]: Page citation?
Comment [A17]: Page?
Comment [A18]: These are their opinions, but
what is yours? Pull in some textual evidence to
either agree with or disagree with them in order to
tie them into your paper. Where is the so what of
this paragraph?
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knees, the protagonist states his confusion by saying, I didnt wait to be asked twice, under my
miserable calves I felt her fat thighs. She began stroking my ankles. I considered kicking her in
the cunt (Beckett 31). Even though the protagonist never mentions that Lulu is attractive, he
does not hesitate to let her touch him and admits his arousal by saying that men are at the mercy
of an erection, physically too (31). The first part of the conversation between Lulu and the main
the character is all about physical action, including the negation of the verb wait and the
stroking of ankles. Although the protagonist debates with himself later as to how he loves
Lulu, the use of physical action without any romance indicates that even if he is simultaneously
repulsed by her, he feels some sort of animal attraction to her. This kind of physical attraction
without feelings of adoration is far from what is discussed in stories of romanticism or novels
that are considered aesthetically pleasing. However, such a feeling is a natural and is a part of the
human experience.
In the second half of the discussion, repulsion is interspersed among with attraction. The
protagonist is not only repulsed with both Lulu, but is repelled by and the fact that he can feel
attraction for a living being in the first place. His description of the discussion turns into one that
is not of action, but more of thought. F and for the next couple of pages the reader can see the
struggles of a man who unsuccessfully tries to separate the two opposing feelings. His thought of
kicking Lulu in what he calls her cunt is the beginning of this thought process and shows the
kneejerk reaction to his realization of physical attraction to Lulu. The word cunt refers to female
genitalia and is often used, especially by Beckett, as a term of vulgar expression meant to insult
and express strong negative feelings toward another person. The word has been around since
1325 and, no doubt, Beckett usesd it to draw the readers attention, but for what purpose (OED
Online)? Such a purpose, I believe, is to show the protagonists disgust with his attraction to
Comment [A19]: Sweeping statement. Consider
briefly quoting a line from a novel which
demonstrates this point, or if one of your pieces of
criticism mentions it, pull from there.
Comment [A20]: Is it? How do we know? This
could be the so what of this paragraph, but it needs
more support, and introduce the idea earlier.
Comment [A21]: Protagonist is used a lot. Vary
the noun used for the narrator.
Comment [A22]: Does he use this in other
works? Or is it the narrator who uses the term a lot?
Comment [A23]: Is this necessary?
Comment [A24]: The use of I in an essay is fine,
but make sure to use it throughout. Otherwise it
sticks out like a sore thumb.
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Lulu. He is frustrated and, by referring to her sexual organ in a vulgar way, is able to vent that
frustration of his arousal. Beckett no longer portrays the protagonists sense of repulsion and
attraction as juxtaposed, but melds them together until they are indistinguishable from each
other.
The image of the main character writing Lulus name in cow excrement is the ultimate
symbol of when disgust and attraction are no longer separated. As is demonstrated byin his
inability to stop thinking about her when he is away from her and the writing of her name, the
protagonist admits that he, I had to contend with a feeling that gradually assumed, to [his]my
dismay, the dread name of love (Beckett 33). His love for Lulu is written in excrement. The key
word in the previous sentence is the word in and it is important to mention that Beckett could
have used any other preposition or image. However, the author chose to use the preposition in
to make to make the unification of repulsion and attraction complete. No matter how repulsed
one is to think of the protagonist playing, or even eating cow excrement, there is a beautiful
undertone in this scene of disgust. The beauty comes from the fact that, although he is dismayed
by love, he cannot avoid it. The protagonists love for Lulu may not be perfect or a love of the
kind seen in fairly tales, but the beauty of this scene is that he cares for her, even if in his own
repulsive way. His love, however imperfect, brings aesthetic value to the story and challenges
the belief that aestheticism cannot emerge from the vulgar or imperfect.
After blurring the lines between attraction and repulsion, Beckett separates them again by
juxtaposing the two feelings. The separation occurs when the protagonist grows tired of Lulu,
now known as Anna, and is repelled to the point that he leaves her while she is giving birth to
return to his dispeopled kingdom (31). As the protagonist is leaving, he notes that, I began
playing with the cries, a little in the same way as I had played with the song, on, back, on, back,
Comment [A25]: Kind of awkward to read,
consider grammatical changes.
Comment [A26]: So what does this do? Why is it
important?
Comment [A27]: It is a symbol? A
representations? A demonstration?
Comment [A28]: Weak, change word order/use
to strengthen.
Comment [A29]: When does he use in its
not quoted.
Comment [A30]: Why/how?
Comment [A31]: Awkward. Consider revising.
Comment [A32]: Two sentences?
Comment [A33]: Bring this idea in earlier to
strengthen the so what of the paragraph.
Comment [A34]: This is a strange way to
describe offspring. Maybe look into the meaning of
the words on OED, for some commentary on the
word usage.
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if that may be called playing. As long as I kept walking I didnt hear them, because of the
footsteps. But as soon as I halted, I heard them again (45). In this passage, the main
character repeats the words play, on, back, and hear. As the protagonist walks further
away from the cries of mother and child, his attraction for Anna regains its hold. The protagonist
notes this phenomenon earlier in the story by sharing, : I did not feel easy when I was with her,
but at least free to think of something else than herAnd I knew that away from her, I would
forfeit this freedom (39). However, when the protagonist ceases walking, therefore halting the
progress of distance between himself and Anna, he becomes repelled by the thought of being
close to her and starts playing the whole process over again (45). His repetition of the words
shows his indecisiveness with whether he is attracted to Anna or repulsed by her. Like a child
playing with a light switch, the main character tries to choose which emotion he prefers, but he
cannot avoid that both feelings will eventually have to coincide.
The last page of Becketts story is not the first time the protagonist plays with sound.
Earlier, before he moves in with Anna, the main character plays with the sound of her singing as
he is walking away from her and the bench at which they met. In this first instance of his playing
with sound, the protagonist makes a decision based on disgust but ultimately is unable to avoid
attraction, as he cant resist moving in with her shortly after that. As he walks away from Anna,
her singing grows fainter and it is his doubt that compels him, twice, to advance back towards
her to make sure that she really exists. The protagonist is finally able to overcome his attraction
towards her and leaves, but the following sentence indicates that he was not able to be repulsed
by long. The character immediately after says, But some weeks laterI returned to the bench
(37).
Comment [A35]: To what purpose?
Comment [A36]: I like the image, but make it
stronger by describing what a child does with a light
switch and how it compares to what the narrator is
doing.
Comment [A37]: It sounds like youre trying to
again say that the feelings of disgust and attraction
are one in the same, but the paragraph feels lost. It
has a lot of description, but no so what. Find a way
to make it support your thesis more.
Comment [A38]: The combination of disgust
and attraction. However, what is the purpose of this
paragraph? To comment on the play with sound? To
describe the juxtaposition? How does this support
your thesis? What is the main point of this
paragraph?
Comment [A39]: Why is this important?
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Regardless of whether the protagonist will ever return to Anna, the result of his first
experiment with the sound of her voice strongly suggests that he will not be able to avoid the
integrated feelings of attraction and repulsion. In fact, the main character confirms this
suggestion at the end of the story by saying that the passing of time, and presumably much
distance later, he no longer believes the cries of mother and child will stop. He is haunted by his
attraction to Anna but, if he were ever to return to her, history shows that his repulsion would
grow by proximity and he would again think her face like millions of others with eyes [that]
were crooked (38). Beckett uses the protagonists playing with the sound of Annas voice and
the competing feelings of attraction and disgust to further his claim that a well-written, powerful
story can contain hate, decay, and other fowl aspects of human experience, as well as positive
aspects such as beauty, love, and attraction. For Beckett, it is the truth of everyday experience
and mans imperfection that makes a novel more aesthetically pleasing than the unblemished
stories written by romanticists.
What comes to mind when reading Samuel Beckett and his infamous descriptions of
disgust is the poem Ode on a Grecian Urn by John Keats who wrote that, Beauty is truth,
truth beauty, that is all/ Ye know on earth, and all ye need to know. Beckett looks past the
faade of perfection and into the lives of real people with genuine suffering and feelings that are
anything short of flowery or amorous. In his story First Love, the protagonist struggles with
the disruption of his disgust at humankind and the attraction for Anna that he is not supposed to
feel. The opposition of the main characters feelings with what the romanticized views of
humanity would have us believe about attraction and repulsion creates an interesting lens
through which to view a different opinion of aestheticism. The protagonists struggle with
whether to feel attraction or repulsion for Anna demonstrates that both feelings are a part of
Comment [A40]: Becketts claim? Where does
he make this claim?
Comment [A41]: Is your main essay point about
a story being able to contain all these things, or the
fact that real life contains all these things working
together? Support your thesis
Comment [A42]: Support for this statement.
Comment [A43]: Oh memories! You know, I still
havent read that poem (I think I only read half the
stuff assigned to us in that class, if that).
Comment [A44]: Does Beckett do this, or is it his
writing that does it?
Comment [A45]: Why?
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everyday existence. The fact that both feelings constitute everyday existence brings a sort of
aesthetic beauty that romanticized views of life lack.

Yay! Sounds like a fun read. So, I made a lot of comments. But mostly its about
supporting/strengthening your thesis and getting the so what out of your essay. You seem to have
a strong thesis in here, but it needs to be supported throughout and mentioned earlier. There
were some sweeping statements which might want to be tied down. And my comments about the
narrator vs the author are mostly because I havent read the story. So I dont know if there is an
introduction or other readings which perpetuate the statements made about the authors opinion
or if its the narrator creating these opinions. Youll just want to be careful differentiating
between the narrator and the author. Ummmm. I think thats about it. Just let me know if you
have any questions or need clarification on anything I said.
Comment [A46]: This seems to be the focus of
your essay. Support it throughout. The first time you
bring in the concept of how this relates to the
everyday human experience is at the end, but it
sounds like thats the trail youre following.