Mini Lesson:

Kori Dilday and Grace Moylan Subject: Writing

Narratives

Grade: 7 Date: 3/6/14

Focus: Students will be taught how to describe characters through action and dialogue
in their writing.

Objectives:
CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.7.3b Use narrative techniques, such as dialogue, pacing, and
description, to develop experiences, events, and/or characters.

Materials: Day Book with previous drafts of narrative/writing project and writing utensil

Introductory Model:
A paragraph will be up on the PowerPoint that describes two characters through mostly
adjectives. Students will take about 20 seconds to read the paragraph. After they have
read the paragraph ask the students what they thought of it. Was is exciting or boring?

On the next slide will be a paragraph describing the same two characters but this
time using dialogue. The students will take about 20 seconds to read this and jot
down some examples of how the dialogue portrays both characters
personalities. A few students will share some of their examples.

First paragraph example: Jasmine was a young woman who tended to fidget when
she was under pressure. Even her clothes seemed to be on edge: they shifted and slid
and drooped and were never still. Tony, on the other hand, was too sure of himself.
But the more adamant he was about anything, the more jasmine fluttered. The more
she fluttered, the more irritated Tony got, until he was barking orders and she was near
tears.

Second Paragraph example:
"Why-why Tony, I didn't think you'd really, you know, want me to go...." Jasmine's voice
trailed off as she fingered the fringe of her shawl.
"Didn't I say so?" Tony glared at her. "Didn't I say so on Monday? We've got to go."
"But I-I just can't! You know how the Johnsons make me feel, staring at me always-"
"For God's sake, they aren't staring at you!" Tony jerked his head towards the bedroom.
"Get some proper clothes on. Now!"
"But, Tony.... Please, Tony, why can't we....?" She looked beseechingly at him, her pale
eyes swimming with tears.

Students will be shown some examples of character descriptions through action.
These will be placed on the powerpoint.

Examples:
Instead of saying she was short, say she clambered onto the chair, her legs dangling
several inches from the floor.

Instead of saying he was tall, say he ducked under the doorway.

Instead of saying he was a smoker, say he shook my hand, his yellowed fingers leaving
the scent of cigarettes on mine."

Independent practice: Students will be given two sample sentences of a character
description and they will choose one to write a narrative using either dialogue or action
to describe their character.

Sample sentences:
Sally is easily excited and talks a lot.
Jimmy was really sad that his dog was lost.


Evaluation and Assessment:
The independent practice will be done in the students daybooks and although it will not
be graded, the daybooks will, at a later date, be taken up and this activity will be looked
over to make sure that every student has grasped the concept.
After the daybooks have been looked over students will begin to revise their narratives
that they wrote early on in the semester.










Rationale: Students will review their previous narrative writing and revise character
development through the use of this mini-lesson plan. This will provide students with the
knowledge on how to make their character three dimensional, as well as provide
students with a skill for future creative writing. Revision is an important step in the
writing process no matter what skill level a person is at in their academic careers.
According to the article Teach Revision-It Works, by Howard A. Van Dyk, it is
important to go over with students how a revision process should be approached and
worked through. When students are shown how a revision process works correctly, the
usually revision process of only correcting grammar mistakes can be avoided (Van Dyk,
Teach Revision-It Works). Peer feedback is also important in the writing process
("Reciprocal Revision: Making Peer Feedback Meaningful").

Van Dyk, Howard A. "Teach Revision-It Works." The English Journal (1967): 736-738.
Web. 4 Mar. 2014 <http://0-
www.ncte.org.wncln.wncln.org/library/NCTEFiles/Resources/Journals/EJ/1967/0565-
may1967/EJ0565Teach.pdf>.

The journal article, Teach Revision-It Works, by Howard A. Van Dyk discusses
teachers want their students to revise their papers, but all too often a students revision
process consists of simply correcting grammar errors. This article gives a five step
revision process that teachers can use with their students. Van Dyk recommends that
this five step process is spanned out over a five day period. Step one is to write a six
sentence paragraph of description, step two is to improve the verbs, step three is to
improve the nouns and modifiers, step four is to eliminate the deadwood, and step five
is to copy and proofread. This five step process is very simple but it gets the point
across of what the teacher is expecting. Once this unit its over, when students are
asked to revise a paper they will know what they are expected to do.



Vorreyer, Donna. "Reciprocal Revision: Making Peer Feedback Meaningful."
ReadThinkWrite. N.p., 2014. Web. 4 Mar. 2014.
<http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/lesson-plans/reciprocal-revision-
making-peer-403.html>.

This source is a lesson plan that will get students to revise their works of writing using
constructive peer feedback. This lesson plan will also encourage students to provide
their own reasoning behind revision choices. This lesson plan also provides information
about how to encourage peer discussion through brainstorming and discussion of their
word choices.


Smede, Shelley D. "Interior Design: Revision As a Focus."The English Journal (2000):
kkkkk 1-5. Web. 4 Mar. 2014
<http://0-
www.ncte.org.wncln.wncln.org/library/NCTEFiles/Resources/Journals/EJ/0901-
sept00/EJ0901Interior.pdf>

The English Journal published, Interior Design: Revision as a Focus which focuses on
the explanation behind revision, Shelley Smede begins her reasoning by giving an
example of how she wanted to repaint, or revise, her walls by stripping it of nonessential
things such as wallpaper so that she can stencil over and refine what the author
originally wanted for the walls. This is shown in writing by talking of disorganized
information such as being unsure of what to do with a dilemma presented with the
authors example and in writing. By giving this example, Shelley shows us how writing is
also disorganized and requires revision almost constantly. Shelley Smede discusses
how she encourages her students to write as much information about their revisions on
their drafts so that, later on when they are revising, they will have the information there
and consequently save time during rewriting. Smede proceeds to discuss the difference
between a revision and a working revision which are two different things. After
explaining those differences, Shelley Smede writes about her success stories with
students and even about other teacher success stories with writing revision. By
emphasizing the amount of fun that should be had with revision, students are more
likely to want to revise as a whole and the table she includes for lesson plan ideas helps
enforce her previous statement of success.