Documentos de Académico
Documentos de Profesional
Documentos de Cultura
(various sources)
A duck goes into a grocery shop and asks: "Have you got any
matches?"
The duck goes back three times, and every time the grocer says
the same.
The fourth time the duck asks, the owner says: "Look. If you
come in here one more time and say that, I'm going to nail your
The next day the duck goes in the shop again and asks: "Have
…………………………………………….
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you
like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she
- Alan, age 10
No person really decides before they grow up who they're going
to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out
- Kristen, age 10
FOREVER by then.
- Camille, age 10
married.
Freddie, age 6
- Derrick, age 8
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MUM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
- Lori, age 8
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to
know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen
long
enough.
- Lynnette, age 8
On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually
- Martin, age 10
SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the
newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead
columns.
Craig, age 9
WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
- Pam, age 7
- Curt, age 7
The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should
marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
- Howard, age 8
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need
- Anita, age 9
MARRIED?
- Ricky, age 8
HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a
truck.
- Kelvin, age 10
******************
CHILDREN'S PROVERBS
She presented each child in her classroom the 1st half of a well-
7. No news is
impossible
8. A miss is as good as a
Mr.
19. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and
You have to blow your nose.
……………………………………………
LABOUR PAINS
delivered.
Upon their arrival, the doctor said that the hospital was testing
asked if they were interested, both said they were very much in
favour of it.
The doctor set the pain transfer to 10% for starters, explaining
that even 10% was probably more pain than the father had ever
felt fine and asked the doctor to go ahead and kick it up a notch.
The doctor then adjusted the machine to 20% pain transfer.
The husband was still feeling fine. The doctor then checked the
doing.
At this point they decided to try for 50%. The husband continued
to feel quite well. Since the pain transfer was obviously helping
The wife delivered a healthy baby with virtually no pain, and the
ecstatic.
When they got home they found the postman dead on the porch.
………………………………………………………
LAST CHANCE SALOON
Two old men decide they are close to their last days and decide
to have a last night on the town. After a few drinks, they end up
The madam takes one look at the two old geezers and whispers
inflated doll in each bed. These two are so old and drunk, I’m
difference.'
The manager does as he is told and the two old men go upstairs
As they are walking home the first man says, 'You know, I think
''Well, she never moved or made a sound all the time I was loving
her.'
'A witch ??. . . Why the hell would you say that?'
'Well, I was making love to her, kissing her on the neck, and I
gave her a little bite, then she farted and flew out the window...
A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'
The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had
Two days later the girl asked her father the same question.
The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys from
The confused girl returned to her mother and said, ‘Mom how is
it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
about my side of the family and your father told you about his”.
SEXUAL HEALING
perform sexually.
He finally goes to his doctor, who tries a few things but nothing
medicine man. The medicine man says, 'I can cure this.' That
once a year. All you have to do is say '123' and it shall rise for as
The guy then asks, 'What happens when it's over, and I don't
want to continue?'
The medicine man replies: 'All you or your partner has to say is
1234, and it will go down. But be warned--it will not work again
Harry rushes home, eager to try out his new powers and
Joyce, who had been facing away, turns over and asks, 'What did
First guy says, "I can remember the first day of my First Grade
class."
School!"
Not to be outdone, the third guy says, "Hell, that's nothing. I can