Effects of Early Marijuana Use Leading to Future Health Problems

by Katherine Tran

WORD COUNT CHARACTER COUNT

1952 9876

TIME SUBMITTED PAPER ID

18-NOV-2013 05:39AM 374418843

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Are you discussing recreational drug use or medicinal? who defin es "wro ng" Develop argument further. Clarify proposal. c u t

Review class lessons on in-text citations.

By who

More complete discussion of its medicinal uses required.

Are you addressing teens? It sounds like you are addressing a general adult audience. meaning?

What is your policy that you are proposing?

Here is a more clearly defined issue.

w h o i s t h i s

Of all students? Why might parents object to this? Deeper investigation into the issues involved here are needed.

This has not been demonstrated

Try to focus your paper here.

Try to locate some scholarly research

Effects of Early Marijuana Use Leading to Future Health Problems

GRADEMARK REPORT FINAL GRADE GENERAL COMMENTS

85

Instructor
Hi Katherine, Introduction and Thesis: Your paper presents a lot of solid information about the popularity of marijuana use. Good work.

/100

However, try to clarify problem. I thought you were going to address medicinal use of marijuana for young people because obviously recreational drug use is illegal therefore no action needs to be taken. Clarify what situation is occurring that requires a new policy. What is currently being done to handle the problem? Why is it not enough? I think you get closer to a stronger issue and proposal when you get towards the end of your paper and begin to discuss the push towards legalization (although it would not be legal for teenagers). Continue to work on a clear proposal stated as an enthymeme. Structure and Argument: Paragraph structure is pretty solid, but the proposal being outlined could be better defined. Spend time discussing each facet of what you want undertaken and why. Consider opposing positions and their evidence more fully. Research and Citations: Some stronger scientific studies could add further evidence to your claims. Reference page is looking clear, but in-text citations need further attention. Proofreading and Editing: Allow more time for this part of your writing process. Throughout, language can be less wordy and more concise. Follow our style lessons. Cut empty phrases like "it is" and "there are." Avoid overly general words like "thing". Choose active verbs over auxiliary verbs.

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you discussing recreational drug use or medicinal? Are

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who defines "wrong" Develop argument further. Clarify proposal. cut

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WC

Word choice error: Sometimes choosing the correct word to express exactly what you have to say is very difficult to do. Word choice errors can be the result of not paying attention to the word or trying too hard to come up with a fancier word when a simple one is appropriate. A thesaurus can be a handy tool when you're trying to find a word that's similar to, but more accurate than, the one you're looking up. However, it can often introduce more problems if you use a word thinking it has exactly the same meaning.

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wording

wording By who

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Clarify

clarify wording or idea

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More complete discussion of its medicinal uses required.

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punctuation punctuation Are you

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addressing teens? It sounds like you are addressing a general adult audience. QM QM QM QM

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punctuation wording meaning?

wording

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What is your policy that you are proposing? QM

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syntax

Consider the phrasing or order of words in the sentence

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a more clearly defined issue.

Here is

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who is this you?

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Of all students? Why might parents object to this? Deeper investigation into the

issues involved here are needed.

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This has not been demonstrated Try to focus your paper here.

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Try to locate some scholarly research