Why we love to worry, and what to do about it by Sunada Takagi

Janet, a woman in one of my mindfulness classes, was feeling nervous. She was afraid of speaking up in class. It was a fairly large group 20 people and she felt self-conscious about the prospect of so many eyes on her. But she also worried that by staying silent, she wasnt taking part enough in the supportive community that was forming. And thinking these thoughts made her worry all the more. I reassured her that there was no requirement to speak up. Everyone was free to talk or not, to the extent they felt comfortable. Just listening in was perfectly OK. Her presence alone was what mattered. But she couldnt stop fretting about it. I think we all have a bit of Janet inside us. We start with a little uneasiness about something, and before we realize it, it grows bigger and bigger. Even when we know its irrational, we feel pulled in by it. Whats going on here? It was a huge relief to me when I first learned of the phenomenon called negativity bias. In short, our brains are wired to focus more on our bad feelings than the good. Its a survival instinct that comes from our caveman days. It was far riskier to miss noticing a potentially dangerous situation like a predator than a pleasant one like a beautiful sunny day. So were biologically programmed to zero in on anything that seems not quite right.

Porque nos encanta preocuparnos, y que hacer al respecto. Por Sunada Takagi Janet, una de las participantes en una de mis clases sobre la atencin consciente, se senta nerviosa. Le daba miedo hablar delante de la clase. Era un grupo bastante grande-de unas veinte personas-y se senta cohibida de solo pensar que las miradas de los dems estaran sobre ella. Por otra parte, tambin le preocupaba quedarse callada, ya que senta no estar participando lo suficiente en la solidaria comunidad en ciernes. El tener estos pensamientos la hacan que se preocupase ms aun. La tranquilice dicindole que hablar no era obligatorio. Cada quien deba de sentirse libre para hablar en la medida en que se sintiese bien. No haba ningn inconveniente con simplemente escuchar. Bastaba con su presencia en el grupo. Sin embargo no poda dejar de inquietarse. Pienso que todos tenemos un poco de Janet en nuestro interior. Comenzamos con un poco de intranquilidad en relacin con algo, y antes de que nos demos cuenta, se hace ms y ms grande. Aun cuando pueda parecernos irracional, nos sentimos atrados irresistiblemente. Qu sucede? Fue un gran alivio para m cuando por primera vez me enter del fenmeno llamado prejuicio negativo. En resumen, nuestros cerebros estn estructurados para enfocarse ms en nuestros sentimientos negativos que en los positivos. Es un instinto de supervivencia que traemos desde la poca de las cavernas. Era mucho ms arriesgado pasar por alto alguna situacin de potencial peligro-como un depredador-

In our modern day, we rarely encounter predators or other threats to life and limb. But our bodies still respond in the same way. We sense somethings wrong, and we zoom right in to hyper-focus on it. But its important to realize that were not to blame for it. And thankfully, we dont have to be victims of our biological natures. If you have a tendency to worry too much, there are ways to tame that beast. Those of you who practice mindfulness will recognize the method of dealing with these thoughts in the moment they arise. Take a breath, acknowledge the thought, maybe label it, and let it go as best you can. Even a tiny sliver of space between you and the thought can help to take some of the edge off of it. But Id like to address a different point today. What do you do when the thoughts keep coming, no matter how much you practice this way? When it seems we make no headway over the long haul against this worry beast? Because our brains give disproportionately high prominence to negative thoughts, it turns out we need a lot more positive ones to counterbalance them. Research suggests that we need five times more positive thoughts than negative ones in order to reach an emotional equilibrium back at neutral. Five times! So for example, research found that married couples stay happy together when they have five times more loving interactions than say, snapping at each other. This magic five-to-one ratio seems to hold true in other areas of life as well (heres an example). Its not so much about having huge, heart-soaring joyful moments. Its about noting many simple, little pleasant ones like stopping to appreciate a beautiful autumn day that make a difference. This makes sense to me. If you take a glass-is-halfempty view on life, having a few big happy occasions even winning the lottery doesnt really turn things around. (And remember, thats not your fault!) But by being mindful of the many small pleasurable moments in life, were gradually training our minds to take on

que una placentera-como un hermoso da de sol. As que estamos programados para centrarnos en cualquier cosa que nos parezca no estar del todo bien. En nuestros tiempos modernos, rara vez nos encontramos con depredadores u otras amenazas que nos pongan en graves riesgos. Pero nuestros cuerpos todava responden de igual forma. Sentimos que algo no est bien, e inmediatamente enfocamos para amplificar nuestra visin de manera desmesurada. Pero es importante que nos demos cuenta que no tenemos la culpa de que as suceda. Y por suerte, no tenemos que ser vctimas de nuestras naturalezas biolgicas. Si usted posee una tendencia a preocuparse en demasa, hay formas de domar esa bestia. Aquellos de ustedes que practiquen la atencin consciente reconocern un mtodo de lidiar con dichos pensamientos en el momento que surjan. Respire, reconozca el pensamiento, etiqutelo quizs, y djelo ir con tanta gracia como pueda. Hasta un pequeito margen de espacio entre el pensamiento y usted puede desactivarlo. Pero me gustara enfocar un punto diferente hoy. Qu hacer cuando los pensamientos prosiguen, sin que importe cuanto practiquemos en esta forma? Cuando no parecemos lograr ningn progreso en nuestra lucha contra esta bestia de la preocupacin? Debido a que nuestros cerebros le dan una prominencia desproporcionada a nuestros pensamientos negativos, nos encontramos con que necesitamos muchos ms pensamientos positivos para contrarrestarlos. La investigacin parece indicar que necesitamos cinco veces la cantidad de pensamientos positivos que los negativos para alcanzar de nuevo a traer nuestro equilibrio emocional a un punto neutro. Cinco veces!

the habit of seeing the positive. Just like with any other mindful change, its establishing a new habit that counts. I, for one, definitely used to be more of a glass-is-halfempty person. To some extent, I think it was trained into me with my previous profession. I was a corporate project manager, and it was my job to worry about all the things that could go wrong so I could plan contingencies for them. Suffering from chronic depression didnt help. Lots of negative habits had built up there. So one way to reverse a habit like this is to practice appreciating the good. I admit that for the longest time, I resisted the idea of a gratitude practice i.e. explicitly noting (even writing down) what you appreciate and are grateful for. It sounded too superficial and Pollyanna-ish. (Sure sounds like a glassis-half-empty viewpoint, doesnt it?) But Ive really come to see the value of doing it. What makes this practice work is to stop and feel deep in my bones why I appreciate something. Not just making happy lists, but reconnecting with a genuine felt sense of appreciation, pleasure, contentment, and the like. I think its when we lose touch with that side of us that were more susceptible to sliding down the slippery slope of worry. Im training my mind to see that theres actually another way to see things thats not about things going wrong all the time. So if youre a worrier, please take heart. I hope you see that its just a habit, and habits can be changed. What we focus our attention on, grows including the positive. Yes, it takes some concerted effort to overcome the weightiness of old habits. But the truth is, they can be overcome.

Esta proporcin mgica de cinco a uno parece cumplirse, de manera similar, en otras reas de nuestras vidas. No se trata tanto de tener momentos grandiosos, de una felicidad celestial. Se trata de estar atentos a los muchos pequeos momentos agradables-como detenernos a apreciar un hermoso da otoal-y esto resultar en una diferencia sustancial. Esto para mi tiene sentido. Si toma usted el punto de vista del vaso medio vaco en relacin con la vida, teniendo unos cuantos grandes y felices eventos-como sacarnos la lotera- esto no hace que las cosas cambien de forma radical. (y recuerde que no es su culpa!) Por otra parte el estar conscientes de los muchos pequeos momentos agradables de la vida, gradualmente estaremos entrenando nuestras mentes a adoptar un nuevo hbito que marcar la diferencia.