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    The Art of Untying Soul Ties
    The Art of Untying Soul Ties
    The Art of Untying Soul Ties
    Ebook128 pages2 hours

    The Art of Untying Soul Ties

    By Jessica A. James

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    About this ebook

    Licensed Social Worker and Life Coach Jessica A. James provides a powerful testimony, revelation, and insight into the subject of Soul-Ties. Many books have been written on the subject, but few are able to give real examples with practical and clinical knowledge on how to untie soul ties. Many find themselves damaged from unhealthy soul ties through short-term sexual encounters with multiple individuals. It breeds a struggle with commitment, and lust of the flesh throughout a lifetime. As you read this book you will discover how to find release from ungodly soul-ties and most importantly experience God's freedom and healing.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJessica A. James
    Release dateSep 16, 2019
    ISBN9780463718919
    The Art of Untying Soul Ties
    Author

    Jessica A. James

    Jessica A. James is a New Jersey Native who has always had an interest in serving her community. With a Life Coaching Certification, a Bachelor’s Degree from Morgan State University in Sociology, and a Master’s Degree from Southern University at New Orleans in Social Work; She’s the Author of her Book entitled “Breaking Functional Dysfunction & The Art of Untying Soul Ties. Jessica is driven by her love of people. She’s battled through depression, low self-esteem, and toxic relationships. Through salvation Jessica has turned her life around, and devotes her time to helping individuals reach their optimum potential.

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      Book preview

      The Art of Untying Soul Ties - Jessica A. James

      157

      The Art of Untying Soul Ties

      How to Get Out of Your Feelings & Boss Up

      By

      Jessica A. James, LMSW

      Copyright © 2019 Jessica A. James, LMSW

      The Art of Untying Soul Ties

      First Edition Printing September 2019

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Acknowledgement

      This book is dedicated to those who have awoken my love with no intention of staying…. Thank you!

      Table of Contents

      Chapter 1: The Distraction

      Chapter 2: The Honeymoon

      Chapter 3: The Rejected

      Chapter 4: The Boundary

      Chapter 5: Split Ends

      Chapter 6: The Answer Key

      Chapter 7: Forgiveness

      Chapter 8: Standards vs The Bar

      Chapter 9: Numbing the Pain

      Chapter 10: Are you Happy?

      Chapter 11: The Revenge

      Chapter 12: Emotional Intelligence

      Chapter 13: The Wait

      Chapter 14: Boss Up

      About The Author

      Chapter 1: The Distraction

      Temptation is like a knife, that may either cut the meat or the throat of a man; it may be his food or his poison, his exercise or his destruction.

      John Owen

      The Black Mamba is a high speed lethally venomous snake, and when threatened, becomes highly aggressive. The Black Mamba gets its name, not from the color of its skin, which can range from olive to grayish, but rather from the distinct black color present inside its mouth used as a tool of intimidation. They bite once or twice and then wait for their prey to become paralyzed and die. Toxic soul ties are the Black Mambas of today’s society. Slithering through families, relationships, and bleeding through generation after generation. He was my Black Mamba, but the funny thing about distractions; they don’t look like distractions until after they are done distracting you. It all began one night in college. He never came out right and told me he was going to be tied to my soul, and wreak havoc in my life for eight years, but it happened. He was my first soul tie.

      I accepted an invitation to go with my older dorm roommate to hang out with some juniors. His name was Chris, and I had no idea what was in store for me. As I walked into this room an aroma of marijuana smoke pierced my lungs immediately. Now I was raised in church all my life, and I never smoked weed however, I was fascinated with living on the edge, and doing things contrary to my upbringing. My hands were sweaty, and I was nervous until I locked eyes with Chris, which seemed like an eternity. He looked up at me with a cocky smile. He asked me if I was hungry, and a thousand words swirled around in my head. Thoughts of desire and lust penetrated my mind, but all I could whisper was yes.

      Chris looked at his boys and nodded for approval. He grabbed my hand, and I left college campus with a total stranger on my way to get what I thought was pizza but was danger lurking in the wind. With a few light chews of pepperoni pizza, I was hooked on him like a fat kid to cake. Every word slid off his tongue, and into mine. My guards came down, heck even my standards were coming down with every lie he told me. How was I supposed to know it was a lie at that time? All I knew was this attractive older guy liked me, and it made me feel good to be wanted. He tied his soul to mine with every kiss to my forehead and the crease of my back. I tied my body, mind, and soul to a demon, and it would take me years to undo what I’d done to myself on that twin sized mattress that day.

      Chris gave me a taste of temptation, which would set my entire world off balance for years. He breezed into my life with his soft supple cocoa brown skin, almond eyes, naturally fit body, and cool conversation. I always believed temptation would be easy to ignore. It would be a sloppy unattractive man who tried to seduce me, and I would resist and show him I had standards. Well temptation isn’t quite that. It comes as everything you ever wanted. Temptation will be a partner that seemingly checks all the boxes on your fantasy checklist. The same person will romance you, sit on the phone and lose track of time with you. Mostly I thought temptation was external and that I couldn’t trust my partner, but I couldn’t trust myself. The frightening thing about temptation is that we are kin to it. In some way we secretly desire our distraction. We desire something to pull us away from our mundane tasks every day into a fantasy. A distraction is something that prevents someone from giving full attention to something else. It begins subtly with the sweetest words, a pipe dream of promises, undeniable lust, and craving to be in someone’s presence.

      I spent many nights in bed with Chris feeling fulfilled and lonely at the same time. What was supposed to be a freshman year of college filled with doing homework, and having girly sleepovers, was traded for toxic love. At first, he made a big show of being protective of me, and he told me he would always ‘look after’ me. Little did I know what he really meant was that he wanted to make all the decisions and I was expected to go along with it. He never actually hit me, but his behavior left me constantly on edge. He would belittle me, throw things at me, call me names, and humiliate me in front of friends. These episodes would often be followed by him apologizing but then harassing me to make up by having sex with him. He constantly demanded that I have sex to prove I loved him. He had me hook, line and sinker, a real charmer. He was a rebel, and life became fast and exciting. Parties, dancing, drinking and then more drinking. Right from the beginning I knew that something was wrong, but my intuition was silenced by the hunger for love I had. Later in our relationship I realized clearly that I was suffering but I couldn’t identify the source. It was standing next to me and I was calling it love.

      Being in the relationship was like being locked in a prison, being tied up and unable to speak. Sometimes when we were out together I disappeared for the whole evening and curled in a nook. I felt better away from him. Gradually he made me believe that I had no real friends. If I had any, I wouldn’t introduce him to them because I was so afraid of being embarrassed. So, he discouraged me from making friends and on the other hand he criticized me for being a loner. Later I read in a psychology book that this is called a double bind, a manipulation tactic. I managed to develop a kind of bipolar life. In some dark moments I was desperate with pain, and in the clear moments I was able to write a whole page about Chris describing how evil he was. Guess what I did with that page later? I threw it out and persuaded myself to forget about it. I guess I could read a whole book on relationships three times and I would never admit that this applies to me too. Love is blind, the saying goes, and I was blinded by fear.

      There were many obvious signs that he didn’t care about me: he didn’t give me any presents for my birthday and Christmas, he didn’t keep promises, he didn’t return things that I had lent him. I apologized for him, believing the excuses he gave me. I did schoolwork for him and he hardly ever thanked me. If I didn’t do his tests for him, he would fail. I was an excellent student compared to him, but he never wanted to hear anything about my successes. He accused me of hurting him and showing off. He was The King in my eyes and the loser was always me. Then there was also a great confusion in my head about our sexual relationship. I thought that everything was okay even though I remember myself going home in pain, because the sex felt like a task, and I was no longer enjoying it. He didn’t care about my feelings. He would get furious about little things and start to yell and storm out. Once he called me bad names just because he couldn’t find his keys. Another time I was helping him with his homework, and he wouldn’t stop shouting at me. Deep down inside I knew love shouldn’t feel like this.

      I negotiated with him and soothed him for months, but our relationship was coming to an end. No matter how I would try to satisfy him, he became bored and for reasons that I don’t remember, he wanted me to leave. I thought my life had come to its bitter end. I was emotionally beaten, broken, but with that kind of faith that gives you courage. I tried to do everything he wanted me to, and it didn’t help, so in my foolish head I assumed that I am not worth him. It gave me a certain light. I realized that if I had belittled myself to nothingness and had apologized for things, I didn’t feel guilty of, and it hadn’t helped at all, then there must be something else going on. The pain didn’t seem unbearable from that moment on. I was already

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