Destination Happiness: 20 Secrets Revealed

Happiness

Chapter

1

THERE ARE MANY REASONS TO BE UNHAPPY!

Ram and Neela are a devoted couple who come from a close-knit family. Ram’s old parents and Neela’s widowed mother live with them, and are well looked after. Their children Anil and Deepa are well behaved, intelligent and lively. Ram looks after the textile business built up by his father. He is hard working and smart, and the business is flourishing. Whenever I visit the city in North India where they live, it gives me great pleasure to meet the family and greet them with love and affection.

I was surprised when Ram and Neela came to see me in Pune, though I was delighted to see them again. But something seemed to bother them. Not wishing to assume that anything was amiss, I waited for them to open up - which they did, soon.

Dada, we need your special blessings for our son Anil, Ram began hesitantly.

God is sure to bless him abundantly, I assured them. When is Anil completing his Engineering degree?

That’s next year, Dada, said Neela eagerly. "This year, he is appearing for his GRE. Please Dada, we want him to get into a first rate American University with a scholarship. Please bless him, Dada, that our dreams may come true."

I smiled and said to them that an intelligent and industrious boy like Anil would find many doors opening for him. But they insisted that he should get into an American University of his choice.

God heard their prayers and Anil won a scholarship to do his M.S. in Bio-engineering at a prestigious university in the U.S.

It was several months later that I visited their hometown. The family came to see me, but their smiles were conspicuously absent. They attended the satsang, met me afterwards, and departed. Only Ram’s old father stayed behind to talk to me.

I hope all is well with your family, brother, I said to him gently.

We are indeed well, Dada, said the old man. But alas, all is not well with our Anil!

Why, what of dear Anil? I enquired anxiously.

The old man cast anxious looks about him and lowered his voice. It hurts me to have to say this Dada, he said in a whisper. Anil has broken his mother’s heart. He has let us all down!

Whatever has he done?

He… he, the old man’s voice broke into a sob. He has married a Chinese girl!

The old man was inconsolable. Nothing that I said could comfort him. As for Neela, she could not even see me without tears. Her American dream had turned sour!

I have known Jagdish since he was a young man of twenty. Starting off as a small entrepreneur, Jagdish has built up a formidable business empire that spans three continents. Recently, he has opened an office in China.

Jagdish talked to me about the opportunities now opening up for businessmen like him in China. His firm was poised for a quantum leap with the new move. He had himself travelled to Shanghai thrice in the last year, and he found the Chinese people professional and easy to deal with.

Only give me your blessings, Dada, he said to me earnestly. My hard work will take care of the rest.

I wished Jagdish Godspeed.

His teenage daughter Neha was with him during the visit. She looked on sullenly as Jagdish was explaining his future plans to me. The moment Jagdish moved away from us to attend to a call on his cell phone, Neha said to me imploringly, Dada, I don’t want Papa to take his business to China!

Why ever not? I asked her. Papa has worked hard to achieve his breakthrough, and he deserves to do well in China!

But Dada, as it is, we hardly get to see Papa! He’s always flying off to Hong Kong, Taipei, Thailand or Singapore. If he starts going to China, we will probably see him only on Deepavali day! It may make my father very happy to expand his business into China - but it’s going to make me and my kid sister very, very unhappy!

Suchitra is the only child of doting parents. Her mother is a scientist and her father is a successful architect. Suchitra was a brilliant student through school and college, and topped her class in the M.B.A. programme. Multinational companies offered her lucrative posts. The parents were delighted and proud, and began to consider the best option open to her.

Suchitra turned down fat pay packets and plum posts and decided to work with a voluntary Aid organization in Gujarat- for a meagre salary.

Money is not enough to make me happy, she told her parents firmly. I have set my heart on a job that will benefit my fellow human beings. My education will be wasted if I do not use it to serve those in need.

Her parents were devastated by what they perceived as her stubbornness!

Keshav was a senior executive in a successful software company. His astronomical salary, generous perks and stock options had made him a millionaire before he was fifty years old. He was made the vice president of his company in Silicon Valley, and it was rumoured that in two years, he would be the C.E.O. of the company.

On his 51st birthday Keshav quit his job. He felt that he had been running a rat race all these years. He felt that he had heard the call of the spirit, and he wanted to devote his life to sadhana and abhyasa at the feet of a spiritual master. Above all, he wanted to return to India, to the land of his ancestors.

Keshav’s wife and children would not hear of it. California was their home; they would not move anywhere else!

It was a tough choice - but they had to make it. Keshav moved to India to seek his heart’s desire; his family stayed on in California, where, they felt, their happiness lay.

I thought of Ram, Neela, Jagdish, Suchitra and Keshav, as I was working at my desk one evening. They had all been in quest of happiness - all of them. Moving along different pathways of life, engaged in different spheres of human activity, they were all seeking happiness in their own way.

Seeking happiness . which meant that they were not really happy with their lot in life. At times, some of them made a choice which resulted in a great deal of unhappiness for their loved ones. What was it that went wrong for them - and thousands of others like them, all over the world? Could it be that in their quest for happiness, they were moving along wrong routes?

I left my desk and decided to take a walk. We were then on a retreat at a quiet hill resort and I had time at my disposal to devote to long walks, reflection and meditation.

What is it that can make people truly happy? Money? Pleasure? Power? Position? Authority? Popularity? Fame? But then have we not known men and women who had all this - and continued to be unhappy?

I mused on these issues as I walked along a scenic mountain track. The morning sun shone brightly. A fresh breeze was blowing. Birds chirped merrily. Down below, the green valley stretched as far as the eye could see. The whole scene was so beautiful and serene that it seemed so natural to think of human happiness and happy people. How could people possibly be unhappy in such a world as this?

And yet I knew that many of them were actually unhappy. Worse, they did not know how to find happiness.

My eyes alighted on the book I was carrying with me. I saw the portrait of my Master, Sadhu Vaswani, on the front cover. His eyes seemed to radiate peace and joy. A heavenly smile played upon his lips.

Sadhu Vaswani was indeed one of the happiest men I knew. One day, I asked him, You have faced many difficulties and tribulations in your life. What is it that helped you to face such situations and remain unscathed, unfettered in spirit?

His answer had been simple. He only said, I praise the Lord!

I was a persistent seeker those days - I would not rest till I had found a satisfactory answer to my queries. Therefore, I asked him, What do you do when you are ill, and your body is caught in the throes of pain?

I still praise the Lord! was the answer.

And when you are passing through the strain of suffering?

Again he answered, I still praise the Lord!

In those beautiful words lay the secret of the Master’s happiness. The simplest way to be happy, he taught us, was to praise the Lord in all circumstances, all situations of life.

Simple - for those who had conquered themselves! So what about the rest of us? I was anxious to address this issue, so that I might be of some help to the brothers and sisters who came to me with hurt feelings, broken hearts and lacerated spirits - seeking that elusive happiness which they longed for.

I sat down on a rocky ledge that seemed inviting. It gave me a breathtaking view of the valley - and the clear blue sky above. I took in the beauty and tranquillity of the scene; I let it enter my soul. It was time to look within, time to reflect, time to find answers to the many questions people brought to me. I had been blessed enough to be gifted a Book of Wisdom - Sadhu Vaswani’s profound teachings, his wonderful precepts, his living example and the crystal-clear message that was his life itself. I would need to undertake a journey of the spirit to find answers to my questions at the Lotus Feet of the Master.

That night, as I slept, I had a powerful vision. I dreamt I was a seeker, a jignasu, in search of happiness - not for myself alone, but for all humanity. Could we not all be happy and contented? If there was a secret of happiness, I was determined to find it and share it with my brothers and sisters!

Chapter

2

THE TRULY HAPPY

My quest took me across the land to distant hills, remote dwellings, and amidst the crowds who thronged cities and towns. Everyone I met had questions, but alas, very few had answers! With only my Master’s teachings as my constant source of guidance, comfort and inspiration, I persisted in my quest.

On a beautiful evening, when pink and orange and mauve tinted the sunset sky, I came across a quiet ashrama, located at the foot of a hillock, far from the haunts of men, distant from the rush of the material world. My instinct told me that I was in the vicinity of a great soul who could offer me enlightenment and provide answers to the questions I had been asking. I could feel the positive, holy vibrations that emanated from the ashrama as I walked up the path that led to the front door. I knocked at the door.

What is it you want? asked a voice from inside.

Master, I have wandered long, I have sought everywhere to find just one thing, I answered. I am in quest of happiness.

The door opened and I saw a tall man in a white robe. His eyes were luminous; his glance, compassionate. Come in, he said, with a smile.

I entered and sat at the feet of the saint. Tell me Master, I said, Where is happiness? How is it people are not able to find it though they look for it with single-minded purpose? Could it be that we have missed it altogether?

The saint said to me, "Here are two fruits which I offer, for you to choose. If you eat one, you will know and understand what happiness is, if you eat the other fruit, you will enter the realm of happiness, but not understand what happiness is. Choose any one of these fruits!"

I considered the choice for a moment. Then I said, Master, I choose the second.

The saint said to me, You have chosen well. For to understand what happiness is and not to have it, is to be unhappy. To enter the realm of happiness is to rise above understanding. They are truly happy who rise above the dualism of mind and speech. They do not understand; they do not speak; but they are truly happy!

I understood that the first fruit is like the shadow shapes that we keep on chasing. Happiness, true happiness, is an inner quality. It is a state of the mind. If your mind is at peace, you are happy. If your mind is at peace, but you have nothing else, you can be happy. If you have everything the world can give - pleasure, possessions, power - but lack peace of mind, you can never be happy. So it was that a holy man exclaimed, Nothing in the morn have I; and nothing do I have at night. And yet there is none on earth happier than I.

The realisation dawned on me that happiness does not depend on outer things. Happiness is essentially an inner quality!

It was a wise man who observed, Happiness, in itself, does not exist. It is an illusion. Only by being happy with yourself can you find it.

Unfortunately, the saint said to me, we are engaged in searching the entire world over for happiness. If we search until our last breath, we are not going to find happiness ‘out there somewhere’. We cannot buy it; nobody can hand it over to us on a platter. It is a very personal feeling - and it must come from within!

Does that mean, Master, that most of us will never find happiness? I asked him gently. After all, very few of us ever learn to look within!

The saint smiled. We can all actually experience happiness, he assured me. No matter who you are, no matter what circumstances you are placed in, you must realise that happiness is your birthright. You are entitled to happiness.

I reflected on this powerful truth: Happiness is your birthright! But happiness must come from within you!

You cannot depend on another person to make you happy or ‘give’ you happiness, the saint continued. This will place a tremendous strain on both of you. On the other hand, if you are truly happy inside yourself and allow the other person to feel the same, then both of you are truly bringing happiness to each other … without any expectations, without any preconditions, without any anticipations.

I thought of Aldous Huxley who said, Happiness is a by-product of effort. In other words, it has no existence or value in itself. It is not an object, which we can pursue or possess, or attain as a prize. Rather it comes as the effect of appropriate actions - and therefore Huxley’s use of the term, ‘by-product’; it is almost incidental - a bonus, which we receive in the act of self-fulfilment through right thought, right attitude and right actions.

They asked a woman who had lived life to the fullest - who had drunk the cup of life to the lees, to the very dregs: Have you known what it is to be happy? Can you tell us at which stage of life you were really happy?

The woman thought for a while and said, Whenever I was not unhappy, I was happy.

Perplexed, they requested her to explain what she meant.

Happiness is the absence of unhappiness, she said enigmatically. Or, to put it another way, unhappiness is the absence of happiness.

Here is a couplet which gives us much to think about:

Sukh sapna, dukh budbudaa

Donon hai mehmaan

Usko aadar dhijiye

Jo bhejhey Bhagwan

Joy is a dream; sorrow is a bubble - accept with reverence, whatever God sends to you.

The Wise One broke my reverie. "You can never get happiness by what you do or what you achieve. Even the so-called spiritual practices, on their own, cannot get you happiness."

There are people who say they are searching for God, he continued, "but they are unhappy even when they are engaged in this lofty quest.

"God is Bliss Supreme - Sat Chit Ananda. Is it possible for anyone to be unhappy when they are seeking Perfect Happiness?"

That is indeed a paradox, I agreed. Yet I know that people who claim to be seeking happiness are profoundly unhappy.

This paradox becomes ‘truth’ in proof because people have forgotten their true nature, said the Wise One. "God has made us in His image. He is perfect bliss. As His image, are we not also happiness personified? Tat twam asi! That art Thou! You are supreme joy and you are eternal bliss. It is only when you forget this that you lose your happiness. You forget your true nature. You forget that you are an aspect of the Divine. It is this lack of self-knowledge, this avidya that makes you unhappy.

With an unhappy mind, how can you look for happiness? How can you hope to find it outside, when your ‘inside’ is dark and clouded?

I remembered an anecdote narrated to me by a friend. There was a businessman who led a contented, busy life. He had a comfortable home, a lovely wife and children, a reasonable income and a thriving business. He drove a large family car, made in India, and he was very fond of his car.

One day, he saw a Mercedes Benz driven by a neighbour. What a car that is! he thought to himself. How I wish I could own a car like that!

The man became restless. He moved heaven and earth, spent lakhs of rupees to get hold of a Mercedes Benz. And - he was happy!

Consider this. The man was happy to begin with. Or, to put it differently, he was not unhappy. Then he wanted something. He did not want to be happy - he wanted a car. He attached a great deal of value to the car, and he did everything he could to obtain the car. He got the car. He was happy - or he was no longer unhappy - in other words, he was back where he started.

We may not all want Benz cars - but we are like this businessman. We are fine; we are content; we are happy - until we want something. Our happiness is replaced by I want something. We pay a certain price. We get what we want. We say, I’ve got it. We are happy - just as we were, before we wanted something.

So ask yourself - is it the Benz, the thing that you wanted that brings happiness to you? Does happiness actually come from a Benz, a bungalow or a diamond necklace? By themselves, none of these things can ‘generate’ happiness. You create a cavity, a depression in your mind when you want something. When you get it, the cavity is filled. You created the hole; you fill it, and you tell yourself, I’m happy now.

You threw your happiness away, when you created the ‘want’ cavity. When you don’t want anything, when you rise above ‘wants’ you leave your original state of happiness intact.

Haven’t you heard it said of great men, He is happy because he is above wants? This does not mean that the man has everything he needs; it only means he can do without a lot of things. He no longer wants things.

How can we rise above wants? I asked the Wise One.

Don’t forget your true nature! he said simply. "If you do, you will become unhappy. You will find happiness and unhappiness rising in waves, and beating on the shores of your life. You will be lashed by disappointments, failures and frustrations. In the end, you will learn to give up and you will say, ‘I’ve had enough. I don’t want anything anymore.’

Give up wants and desires; give up everything else - and you will find God. God is true happiness!"

O Wise One! I said to him, How can people find true happiness? I would like to share with countless people the wisdom you have imparted to me. Tell me how people may be happy!

The Wise One smiled. His eyes radiated compassion and understanding. I will take you to the realm of happiness, he said. You can discover for yourself the secrets of happiness - which constituted a way of life in that beautiful land.

The realm of happiness! I exclaimed. Is there such a land here upon our planet? Do we have to travel very far to reach it? When do we set out? Do we travel on foot…?

I have told you already, smiled the Wise One. The realm of happiness is within you. Come and sit before me. Make yourself comfortable and relax your mind and body utterly. We will begin our journey - with meditation.

Will you accompany me on this journey, Master? I enquired as I prepared to enter into meditation. For I do not wish to lose so valuable a guide as you on this quest.

I will be with you all the way, the Wise One assured me. Now, let us shut out the world and enter within… let us discover the secrets of true happiness!

Chapter

3

THE REALM OF HAPPINESS

My inner consciousness awakened as I entered into a state of deep meditation.

The Wise One and I stood upon a vast plateau. At a distance, its gentle slopes led down to stretching plains. The plateau itself presented a rolling landscape, rising here to a hillock, falling there to a low lying valley or a hollow depression. As we stood on high ground, I was able to see a green landscape all around, dotted with trees. A gentle breeze was blowing, and the sky was flecked with clouds, reminding me of the skyscape one sees through the windows of an aeroplane. As I stood gazing, we were enveloped in a soft mist. I took a deep breath and felt the freshness and cleanness of the moist air. In a few seconds, the mist cleared, and we saw it ascend gently to the top of the hillock just ahead of us.

Shall we move on? said the Wise One, leading the way. We walked up a steep slope, to what appeared to be the summit of the hillock, which sloped upward in an easy curve. The peak was actually a flat table land, with a magnificent view all around. On one side I saw a clear stream running down below, in a green and silent valley. I could actually hear the gentle murmur of its waters even where I stood.

I walked across the summit to the other side. An eerie, lonely landscape met my eyes here. Wherever I turned, I saw vast ruins - bare foundations, broken walls, mere shells of dwellings and houses, pillars standing without walls and roofs, stairs and steps that led nowhere, roofless structures - and a profound silence which I imagined I could actually hear around us.

This is like the site of an archaeological excavation, I whispered to the Wise One who had walked across with me. The silence was so pervasive, so profound, that I felt that my whisper was like a shout. Is this really the realm of happiness?

What makes you doubt it? asked the Wise One with a smile.

It’s just this - the land is deserted! The weather is salubrious, the environment is clean and unpolluted, but I see nothing but ruins, and not a soul in sight!

The Wise One began to walk down a narrow path that led us downhill towards the ruins. Once upon a time, he said, sighing, "this realm was a bustling, prosperous land. Thousands of people lived and worked here, and led a happy existence. As the years passed, their descendants lost touch with their way of life - with the secrets of happiness once known to their parents. They were no longer happy people - and they could not continue to live here. Fate, circumstance,