Design Yourself and Upgrade Your Husband: Tribute to Women

Dr. Alain

AuthorHouse™ UK Ltd.

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Phone: 0800.197.4150

© 2013 by Dr. Alain. All rights reserved.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

Published by AuthorHouse 09/02/2013

ISBN: 978-1-4918-7611-4 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-4918-7612-1 (e)

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Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

CONTENTS

1.   Dedication

2.   Epigraph

3.   Preface

4.   Introduction

5.   Prologue

6.   Menstruation

Why do women menstruate?

When does menstruation begin?

Can you feel ovulation?

7.   Menopause

8.   Healthy marriage and pre-marital screening

Healthy Marriage

Premarital Screening

9.   Your period, hygiene and what you need

Why just tampons or pads?

Pads are far more hygienic than tampons.

How hygienic a pad is depends on the type used.

Mulier! You shouldn’t use any sort of soap for washing your genitals

Your needs

10.   Pregnancy and its signs

Look down

11.   Pregnancy under parent’s home

12.   Abortion, what is that?

What is your understanding?

13.   Would you kill your baby?

14.   Unexpected pregnancy

15.   Care of my pregnant wife

16.   Pregnant woman takes care of herself?

17.   Pregnant wife do not care of herself

18.   How to get happiness and success your marriage?

What you need for a potential husband

19.   Attract a men

20.   Meet my fiancé

21.   What about marriage?

What do you think about?

Get married because you want to

22.   Your future husband

Thoughts on your future husband

Where did you meet your partner?

23.   Challenges in the marriage

What challenges have we faced in our marriage?

Let us get straight into them

Christians, does this challenge the idea of no sex before marriage?

Same-sex marriage challenges you?

24.   Marriage or fiction

25.   Should I marry him? Rape!

My partner was raped, she didn’t tell me at all but I found out yesterday

26.   Paedophilia, why?

How to stop paedophilia?

Common Characteristics of Individuals with Paedophilia

27.   Jealousy

What should you do when your husband is jealous?

Working with your partner

How to work together?

28.   Helping with children

29.   Partner’s forgiveness, do you believe?

30.   Love me during pregnancy

31.   I don’t think my husband loves me anymore?

32.   No more love, what to do, leave?

33.   Counselling to solve problems

Sex problem

Solving strategies

Money

Solve it

Don’t blame.

Conflicts

Trust

34.   Sex, sexual transmitted diseases, infections and HIV

For mixed-status couples

HIV prevention methods

How HIV is spread

Safe sex and HIV

Negotiating safe sex with your partner

What to do if you are exposed to body fluids

Don’t share toothbrushes or razors

Having fun in relationships

35.   Stop Watching Porn

36.   My husband and masturbation

37.   How to trust him?

Don’t stress it give it time

How can I be trusted

38.   What to achieve in your relationships

Pray and fast for what you needs from your partner

Sex comes with responsibilities

Know yourself

Control yourself

Develop yourself

Extra-marital relationship

39.   Unfaithful Partner

Motivations behind his actions

Feel guilty after having sex

Clear consciousness

Did you ever think about how I feel?

What does she know about us?

Do you have plans with her and love her?

What did you see in her?

Do you feel different?

Did you cheat on me before?

Why to get into extramarital relationship?

40.   Who is the father?

41.   My husband’s chronic illness

42.   Memories as a doctor

To be married to a doctor?

To seduce my busy doctor husband

Does this sound pretty to you Alain?

43.   Inter-racial marriage

44.   Disappointment

45.   Change after marriage

What should we truly do?

Alain! Yes! At least for me!

Of course couple change after marriage

Change in relationships

46.   Divorce

47.   Virginity

Lose virginity

Losing your virginity before marriage

Like having sex with virgins

Virginity in religion

Virginity in Catholic faith and Christianity

Virginity in Islam

The signs of loss of virginity

48.   Wedding

49.   Planning for wedding

50.   Cross-cultural wedding

51.   About the Author

Dedication

Thank you Lord!

Thank you Virgin Mary!

Thank you mom, because you gave me life and showed me what it is!

Thank you my wife, oh! Rachel Maguy, you have been doing my mother’s outstanding duties. You are the mother of my boy and girls!

Thank you my daughters, Dominic Mannuella and Dianne as you can help out with the outstanding house works!

Thank you all my female colleagues and tribute to all women from all over the world!

You need respect, honor and love because you are mothers of life!

Epigraph

Respect for women, is a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements. Admire someone or something deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements. It clearly indicates that respect is earned, not entitled. And I for one I am sick of how this whole respect everybody thing has come around, especially the whole respect all women. How about no?

Lack of respect does not equal to disrespect. You can still be well mannered with someone you do not respect. If someone has not given you a reason to respect, then why do you respect them? The whole respect everybody takes away the whole meaning and reason for the word even being existent.

No, I do not respect women just because they are women. It is possible to respect a woman individually for what one may have done, but not as an entire group, as I for one, have shown the hostility towards men women now have.

We are becoming less respectful to women? In some part of the world, sex scandals have been increasing rapidly. Videotaping and other technologies are being use to threaten the victims to engage in more unwilling sex scandals. People nowadays are becoming smarter in an evil way. Investigating is becoming more and more challenging. More and more women are becoming slaves to this problem.

Marriage is a natural right for all women! If a lady is not married, she must knee and claim her right.

I have never heard of this in real life before. But since conversing with woman from different background, I found that a female body is expensive and cannot be shared with anyone like that, as it is a gift.

How much truth is there? I am not talking about admiration. I can admire when a guy has a really worked out body but get turned on by only women’s body. People, at least the ones I know think about the female body too. They would go crazy over someone like you and me but at the same time admire if a woman has a hot body but not in a sexual way.

Alain

Preface

The first record of my research is the discovery of mystical gene that describes life and death, in this famous unrevealed secret of birth, growth, regeneration and life for ever, I demonstrated that DNA in its mystical correlation to the GENE-U (original gene) has been undergoing thousands and thousands of mutations in each century. These mutations are located at certain dimensions of wellbeing with the impact on the surrounding environment of human-being; that causes injuries, accidents, terrorist thoughts, dictatorship, lies, selfishness, crime, racism, sorcery, divorce, negative invention, life expectancy, death…

Toward the same philosophy, I was inspired to pay tribute to women. From my working memories as a physician; I found one of my female patients who were very sick, crying in her hospital bed, unable to take care of herself, but feed by two psychotic ladies, also admitted to the emergency unit. I named that phenomenon, Mulier (woman in Latin) and decided to pay homage to the psychotic ladies and believed that a woman remains a mother of life and of the world and required enough honour and respect wherever she is. From this inspired sketch, I began investigating the living of women in their intimacy, as well as to creating true conversations based on reality to dedicate the entire story to all women: raped, killed from different form of domestic violence and discriminations, HIV/AIDS, forced for marriages etc…

This book is forbiden to under 18 years

Dr Alain, MD, Ph.D

Introduction

In this book: Design Yourself And Upgrade Your Husband, I believe all women should be put above their male companions and be honoured.

You will find in this book a style of multiple, conversation between two characters and other non-listed, opinions and counselling that can help troughout your life, but the most active is between Alain and Mulier. Here, I would like to show from different and true experiences how to understand and handle challenges in romantic life.

Indeed, Mulier illustrates different experiences of her life in various forms since the age of 16-69 years, and about her puberty, her privacy, romantic relationships, and other subjects such as, menstruation, ovulation, pregnancy and its signs, pregnancy under parent’s home, abortion, unexpected pregnancy, care of my pregnant wife, happiness and success a marriage, qualities for man and woman, to attract a men, meet a fiancé, marriage, future husband, challenges in the marriage, same-sex marriage, Jealousy, working with your partner, children, partner’s forgiveness, love, solve problems, Sex problem, HIV and sex, porn movies, husband and masturbation, relationships, extra-marital relationship, unfaithful partner, husband’s chronic illness, married to a doctor, inter-racial marriage, disappointment, change after marriage, unhappily married, divorce, pedophylia, virginity and Wedding etc…

At each conversation Mulier benefited from various opinions, the most contributive are carried out by Alain.

Dr Alain Ulrich, MD. Ph.D

Prologue

I would to sacrifice myself to protect my wife’s honour and the honour of my family. I make dinner every day and spend that time with just her. That is her time to talk to me about anything she wants. I devote myself completely to her needs during that time and it makes her feel very special. May be every day you can think of something that she likes. instead of working on your own on something try working together maybe that will make her feel more special that you are sharing something with her.

Now and then get her something nice so that she feels appreciated. if you have kids sometimes let them help you with what you are doing because some women feel more special if the husband and the kids are doing it together it makes her feel love. Well, every day before I wake up I great my wife and said I love you with kiss lips to lips. This simple way is showing how you honour your wife. To think, there are plenty of ways how we honour women but it’s too complicated if you’re going to do this. Be simple and be true to yourself. Open communication is the best weapon to make your relationship intact.

Menstruation

Menstruation, having periods is part of the female reproductive cycle that starts when girls become sexually mature at the time of puberty.

During a menstrual period, a woman bleeds from her uterus, womb via the vagina. This lasts anything from three to seven days. Each period commences approximately every 28 days if the woman does not become pregnant during a given cycle.

Why do women menstruate?

Menstruation is a very complicated process involving many different hormones, the woman’s sex organs and the brain.

A woman’s internal sex organs consist of two ovaries, the Fallopian tubes, the uterus and the vagina. The ovaries contain the eggs with which the woman is born and, during each period, a single egg will usually ripen and mature due to the action of hormones circulating in the bloodstream.

When the egg is mature it bursts from the ovary and drifts through the Fallopian tube down into the uterus. The lining of the uterus—the endometrium—has been thickened by the action of hormones and made ready to receive the fertilised egg.

If the egg is fertilized and the woman becomes pregnant, it will fasten itself onto the endometrium. If the egg is not fertilized, however, resultant hormonal changes cause the endometrium to slip away and menstruation begins.

Menstrual discharge is composed of the endometrium itself, together with a little fresh blood caused by the breaking of very fine blood vessels within the endometrium as it detaches itself from the inside of the uterus.

The amount of blood lost due to the normal monthly period is usually less than 80ml.

When does menstruation begin?

These days, girls begin to menstruate when they are about 10 to 14 years-old. The average age is approximately 12. Women will continue to menstruate until the age of 45 to 55, when menopause begins. A woman will have approximately 500 periods in her lifetime.

Can you feel ovulation?

Ovulation usually takes place roughly 14 days after the first day of the start of a period; however, the exact timing can vary greatly from woman to woman. Some women know when they are ovulating because they can feel a slight pain in their lower abdomen. Other women may bleed slightly in the middle of their cycle.

Vaginal discharge also changes at ovulation. It increases in amount and becomes more watery due to hormonal changes. This is one of the ways that women who wish to practice natural family planning using the mucus test can find out whether it is safe to have sex or not.

Women who do not experience such symptoms during ovulation can find out when they are ovulating by taking their temperature. This will rise by 0.5 degrees Celsius when ovulation occurs. To measure temperature effectively, it must be taken at the same time every morning before getting out of bed.

Temperature readings taken from different parts of the body such as the mouth, under the arm, in the ear or in the rectum will all give a slightly different measurement. For this reason, it is important to choose one location and stick to it. When checking for temperature, rises can occur for a variety of reasons and, therefore, should not be used as the only method of detecting ovulation.

Menopause

Can you explain to me please?

Menopause is the time in your life when you no longer get your period. Your body has a finite number of eggs in your eggs in your ovaries and, eventually, no more eggs will be released from your ovaries for fertilization. In view of your age, your ovulation and menstruation begin to decline the female hormones. Both estrogen and progesterone are responsible for signaling to your body when it is time to ovulate and menstruate. As these hormones decline, your ovulation and menstruation will become irregular, eventually stopping altogether. When you no longer get your period you have entered the menopausal phase of your life.

Menopause occurs at a different time in every woman. You are likely to go through menopause around the same time that your grandmother, mother, or sister did, give or take a few years. Most women stop menstruating completely between the ages of 50 and 51; however the whole menopausal process can last a number of years. Most women begin menopause sometime between the ages of 45 and 55 however, menopause can occur as early as 35 or as late as 60.

What are the Stages of Menopause?

Menopause occurs in three major stages. The whole process of menopause can take 15 years or longer, depending on your age and family history. The first stage of menopause is known as perimenopause. The first signs of menopause are irregular periods and spotting due to fluctuating hormone levels in your body. Although it is still possible to get pregnant during perimenopause as eggs may be released from your ovaries, ovulation will probably be sporadic. Perimenopause can last anywhere from 2 to 5 years, but some women can remain in this stage of menopause for up to 15 years. Fluctuating hormone levels will probably cause some menopause symptoms like hot flashes, night sweats, and irritability.

The second stage of menopause occurs when your period no longer arrives. This stage is simply called menopause and usually occurs around age 50 or 51. In order to be in menopause, your period must be absent for at least 12 consecutive months. Gradually, your oestrogen levels will decline and your body will stop producing progesterone. Signs of menopause and symptoms of this hormone decline include hot flashes, headaches, and mood swings.

The final stage of menopause is called postmenopause. Your menopause symptoms should begin to decrease during this time, freeing you of hot flashes and night sweats. However, you are at an increased risk for developing osteoporosis, heart disease, and urinary tract infections during this time.

What after Menopause?

Many women are anxious, worried and even scared about going through menopause. Yes, it can be difficult to stop menstruating and no longer be able to bear children. However, many women find menopause to be a happy and exciting time in their lives. You are no longer bound to periods and hormones and can live without the worry of pregnancy. Through education and acceptance, menopause can become one of the most enjoyable stages in your life.

Mulier tell me about your experiences

The perimenopause years are very different as you’re miserable. If you’re having hot flashes, you can literally feel like you’re going to spontaneously combust from the inside. The last thing you want is someone with a 38 body temperature anywhere near you. I know it sounds dramatic, but it’s not like having a fever… you feel as if your internal body temperature is near the melting point, and one more degree higher and you’ll go poof.

I can tell you, as a woman who is definitely over the great hormonal shift, a woman’s tolerance hits all-time lows for a while during menopause.

Healthy marriage and pre-marital screening

Marriage is considered a remarkable event in the individuals’ lives, as they work on starting a family, and through which the individual ushers a new stage in terms of building the emotional, social, familial, and healthy relationships. And it also guarantees preventing the couple from the hereditary and infectious diseases; in order to build a happy, stable family, getting along well.

The injury of any of the family members with hereditary and infectious diseases leads to foul the pleasure of life and several psychological, social, and economic problems. Not to mention the medical disorders and their repercussions on the patient, family, and community.

Healthy Marriage

Healthy marriage is defined as state of agreement and harmony between the marriage partners with regard to the healthy, psychological, sexual, social, and legislative aspects, aiming at making a sound family and begetting healthy, happy children.

Premarital Screening

It is defined as conducting examination for soon-to-be married in order to identify if there is any injury with genetic blood diseases such as sickle-cell anaemia and Thalassemia, and some infectious diseases such as hepatitis B, C and HIV Aids. This is in order to provide medical consultation on the odds of transmitting these diseases to the other marriage partner or the children in the future, and to give options and alternatives before soon-to-be married with the aim of helping them plan for a healthy, sound family.

Getting married is a special, exciting, and busy time that most women dream of from the time they are little girls. But there is more to getting married than flowers, dresses, and saying I do. Before you marry the love of your life, you should have a few health checks to make sure that you are in tiptop shape health wise.

If you haven’t already been having yearly Pap smears and gynae exams, now is a good time to schedule a visit with a gynaecologist. You should have a Pap smear, and a complete pelvic exam to check for any abnormalities.

Now is the time to discuss your plans for either contraception or potential pregnancies. Your health care provider can help you decide which type of birth control is best for you, as well as for your future fertility.

Genetic testing is sometimes desired before marriage for certain couples whose plans include the possibility of having children. Your health care providers are best able to help you and your spouse decide if genetic testing is necessary.

Some couples choose to be childless and may decide that they desire either tubal ligation or vasectomy, even before the marriage takes place. Other couples who have previously undergone permanent sterilization may wish to have either tubal ligation or vasectomy reversal.

Unless you and your future spouse are both virgins, now is an excellent time to be tested for HIV and other STDs. Even if you or your future spouse has had only one sexual experience, it is critical that these tests are performed. Undiagnosed sexually transmitted diseases such as pelvic inflammatory disease can have a devastating effect if pregnancy is part of your future plans.

A complete general physical exam that includes a chest x-ray, laboratory testing, and discussion about your family medical history and potential health risks is important for both you and your future spouse. Make sure that your immunizations are up-to-date at this appointment.

Your period, hygiene and what you need

Hi Alain, I use a menstrual cup.

Cups are internal like tampons but more hygienic so no odour, vaginal infections, increased cramps or dioxin… this also means cups can be worn safely for 12 hours, with any flow, overnight, before your period and no need to alternate with pads at all. I wore tampons and pads in my teens and had constant chronic vaginal infections, thrush and UTI’s, where as I’ve not had a single infection in the ten years I’ve been using cups… plus cups don’t leak like tampons or pads.

Why just tampons or pads?

You have far more options than just tampons and pads, also what type of tampons or pads you use makes a huge difference too—for example a commercial pad like Always or Kotex is far less hygienic than a cloth pad like Lunapads or Party in My Pants Pads. Menstrual cups and softcups are far more hygienic than both tampons and pads, plus have many other benefits.

Pads are far more hygienic than tampons.

Your vagina is self-cleaning—it has an acidic pH to help kill-off harmful bacteria and discharge flushes bacteria and dirt from your vagina. Tampons plug-up the vagina, while giving bacteria the perfect environment to multiply and by keeping flow within the vagina effecting pH, furthermore even when removed fibers can remain and it takes time for the vagina to adjust—thus why you should change often and alternate with pads when using tampons. Consider that most tampons also contain harmful substances, including dioxin. Thus why tampons are a major cause of vaginal infections and odour, they also account for most TSS cases which is an illness caused by bacterial toxins. Tampons are actually the least hygienic sanitary products.

How hygienic a pad is depends on the type used.

Commercial pads such as Always or Kotex prevent air-flow making your genitals warm and moist which is perfect for bacteria and yeast to thrive, but different types of pads are far more hygienic. Cotton pads like Cottons or Natracare don’t contain chemicals so are less likely to cause bad odour and infection. Cloth pads like Lunapads or Party In My Pants Pads are little different to if you were just wearing underwear so they protect your underwear from blood but allow air-flow, allow blood to dry, and no harmful ingredients to irritate, cause odour or lead to infections, thus more hygienic.

Don’t confuse blood with being dirty, or lack of blood with being hygienic

Mulier! You shouldn’t use any sort of soap for washing your genitals

Your vagina is self-cleaning, all you need to stay clean is to use water and wipe with your hands between your labia to clean away any dirt—that’s it, and it needs nothing more than that to stay clean.

Soaps of any kind can cause problems because your vagina has a naturally acidic to help kill off harmful bacteria while allowing healthy bacteria to thrive, soaps are a lot more alkaline so effect the vagina’s pH meaning it can allow for harmful bacterial growth risking odour and infection. Soap also can’t tell the difference between ‘good’ and ‘bad’ bacteria, it will try to kill it all.

Your genitals are made up of mucosa, like skin but without the top protective layer—same as within your mouth, nose or eyes, it needs moisture to protect it, soaps can dry-out mucosa as well cause irritation. Any sort of soap or wash will also contain chemicals which may be toxic on some level, without the top protective layer toxins are more easily absorbed into the body via mucosa.

These ‘feminine’ soaps and washes are no different

They claim to be pH balanced but pH balanced to what? Your vaginal pH will be totally different from any other woman’s, it will change due to hormonal changes in your body as well as change as it needs to in order to protect itself, no soap or wash can ever match your pH, as such the risks of these products are no different to that of soap. These products are made purely to play on women’s insecurities about vaginal hygiene, smell and taste, they make money by implying to women that they need some sort of special product to stay clean and ‘fresh’ . . . we don’t.

Your needs

•   Pay attention to your flow so you’ll get a sense of how often you need to change your pad or tampon. Using tampons labelled extra absorbent are not a good idea. It’s better to use a tampon designed for lighter flow and change it more often. You may also wear a mini-pad while using tampons to protect your clothing in case of leakage.

•   Many types of tampons and pads sometimes you will see them called feminine hygiene products, there are available on the market. With all the choices, it might be hard to know what is right for you. Generally, you can tell how absorbent, how much blood it can hold without leaking. A product is by how it’s labelled on the box. Try to match your normal flow and your need for absorbency with the product label. Also read any special recommendations the company has for how to best use their product. After trying a few different types, you will likely find a product that works well for you.

•   Keep a personal calendar where you can mark the first day of your periods and how long they last. You’ll get a sense of your cycle and can make sure you have pads or tampons with you around the time when you think your period will start.

•   Be prepared! You might want to have some pads or tampons in your backpack or purse just in case your period starts when you’re not home. Even if you haven’t had your first period yet, you’ll feel good knowing you’re ready when your period does start. And if you have a friend who needs a pad or tampon, you’ll have one they can use.

•   Your first period may be different from your other periods. It can take several months, or longer, for your period to establish a routine. Try to be patient with your body while it’s entering this new phase of your life, and ask your doctor any questions you have.

•   It’s best to use pads or tampons that are not scented with perfumes or other deodorants. The chemicals used in these products may be irritating. Normal blood flow from your period should not cause a bad odour. If you do experience an odour, try to make sure you wash regularly during your period and try changing your pad or tampon more frequently. Ask your doctor about it if it continues.

•   Some women feel shy or embarrassed about buying tampons or pads in the supermarket or drugstore. If you’re one of them, try to remember that you’re purchasing a product you need for a very normal, natural part of your life.

Pregnancy and its signs

The state of carrying a developing embryo or foetus within the female body is called pregnancy. This condition can be indicated by positive results on an over-the-counter urine test, and confirmed through a blood test, ultrasound, and detection of foetal heartbeat. Pregnancy lasts for about nine months, measured from the date of the woman’s last menstrual period. It is conventionally divided into three trimesters, each roughly three months long.

Pregnancy symptoms differ from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy; however, one of the most significant pregnancy symptoms is a delayed or missed menstrual cycle.

Understanding the signs and symptoms of pregnancy is important because each symptom may be related to something other than pregnancy. Some women experience signs or symptoms of pregnancy within a week of conception. For other women, pregnancy symptoms may develop over a few weeks or may not be present at all.

Below is a listing of some of the most common pregnancy signs and symptoms. If you have been sexually active and are experiencing any of the following symptoms, it is important to take a pregnancy test. Implantation bleeding can be one of the earliest pregnancy symptoms. About 6-12 days after conception, the embryo implants itself into the uterine wall. Some women will experience spotting as