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    Poetic Injustice & Laffing Aside
    Poetic Injustice & Laffing Aside
    Poetic Injustice & Laffing Aside
    Ebook110 pages54 minutes

    Poetic Injustice & Laffing Aside

    By Slater Kworrie

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    About this ebook

    Never in my life did I ever contemplate composing a book of Poetry so I didn't and my apologies to those of you out there who thought I would dare categorize it as such when comparing it to the classics. For some unknown reason during the past two years, there has been an avalanche of rhymes materialising in my head on a daily and sometimes even an hourly basis. Everything that my eyes dropped on to or what somebody might have happened to mention in passing was automatically filtered into the verse as opposed to the voice box or voice-versa and summarily twisted and turned into a rhyming subject. Silly ,serious or just amusing, most were given an added ingredient of poignancy or irony that may have directly related to the complex world we live in.
    Flowing with the phenomonom, my thoughts seemed to urge me into re- producing other experiences that may have been lying dormant somewhere in the back of my mind since my first tangible recollections of life and the initial flexing of brain muscle back at the school of learning right up to the present moment. The anecdotes are again observations and stories picked up and stored over many, many years and embellished to produce an occasional break from rhyme reading.
    The Human Race warms to laughter and happiness in a serious, demanding enviroment and hopefully this book will bring some small ray of sunshine into your life to provide a welcome break from the daily grind. This is an enigmatic look at that life so to speak and like a drink, I trust you will enjoy it responsibly.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAuthorHouse UK
    Release dateMay 9, 2013
    ISBN9781481788175
    Poetic Injustice & Laffing Aside
    Author

    Slater Kworrie

    Born in the North West of England shortly after the end of the Second World War when food rationing was still high on the social agenda and spending cuts were something you purchased in a Butchers shop window, the author had not one ounce of literary thought, interest or ambition to write, once he found how to. The first close encounter came at the age of nine when he began to copy out a lengthy feature on the mysteries of the single celled Amoeba during which time his father asked him what the purpose of the exercise was for. He can vaguely recall that there wasn't one but did say that when he was older, he was going to write a book, to which his mother dismissed the idea as being nothing more than than a childish fantasy. She was half right. The planting of that seed remained deeply rooted and dormant in his memory core for another fifty one years before he decided to write a couple of short stories and a few silly rhymes in a small exercise book and present it as an alternative Christmas present for his Granddaughter. From there, his enthusiasm to make a serious attempt at a book came by way of the Three Storey Elevator and a second attempt at something completely different in the guise of this book, began in earnest to bring that childhood dream to fruition and satisfy himself that he had made his mark in life albeit good, average or indifferent. The mountain was climbed and the flag planted. Only the winds of fortune will give it direction.

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      Book preview

      Poetic Injustice & Laffing Aside - Slater Kworrie

      © 2013 by Slater Kworrie. All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without the written permission of the author.

      Published by AuthorHouse 04/22/2013

      ISBN: 978-1-4817-8816-8 (sc)

      ISBN: 978-1-4817-8817-5 (e)

      Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Thinkstock are models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

      Certain stock imagery © Thinkstock.

      Because of the dynamic nature of the Internet, any web addresses or links contained in this book may have changed since publication and may no longer be valid. The views expressed in this work are solely those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher, and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

      CONTENTS

      Purrfect Tiddles

      Foxy Trotting

      Hip Hop Slop

      Inclined To Recline

      Dancer Or Prancer

      See Food Diet

      Packed By Mummy

      Smug Fit

      Speckly Four Eyes

      Nothin’ To Do With Me

      Sixy Eyes

      Make My Day

      Squawk On The Wild Side

      Fantasy Flare Up

      Sorry To Barge In

      Trumpet Voluntary

      The Peak Of Health

      Puffing Millie

      Dream On

      Slim Pickings

      School Of Hard Knocks

      You Must Be Joe King

      No Air Brakes

      Two Shots Of Red Eye

      Armful Reject

      The Plot Thickens

      El Scorchio

      Don’t Count On It!

      Slugging It Out

      Shipmate Of The Desert

      St. Saviour

      Plane Sailing

      Florribunder

      Anybody There?

      Salt Of The Earth

      Clusterphobia

      Ticket To No Way Hosehay

      Insect Aside

      Sleepers With Dreams

      A Bit Of A Byte

      Wok The Wok

      Running Buffet

      Gunner Make Misery

      Words About Words

      Watch This Space

      Blast From The Passed

      (Sang Operatic Style)

      Eat Your Words

      Morning Fresh

      Pailfazed

      Pail Faced

      That Weathered Luck

      A League Of Their Own

      Achilles Don’t Heel

      No Go Kart

      Dicin’ With Death

      Glowing Cheeks

      Beer Faced Lies

      Message In A Battle

      Missunderstud

      Rock And A Hard Place

      Wheely On Fire

      Listing To Port

      A Ship Of The Old Block

      Strumpetising

      Start To Finish

      Tuff As Putty

      Hang On An Hour

      Pay Back Time

      Squeak Squeak!

      Terraffic Jam

      That Pandering Look

      Me Plates Of Meat

      A Pharoah Building

      Food Wrapper

      At Your Convenience

      Just Dessert

      Instant Cure

      Bit On The Side

      Time Frame

      God’s Waiting Room

      Epilogue

      3393.png

      PURRFECT TIDDLES

      A Tiger came into my garden one day

      It sniffed round the roses and the compost decay

      What was it looking for, there was certainly no food

      Then it stopped on the lawn and it pee’d and it poo’d

      I ran out in a rage and tried to shoo it away

      Nobody spoils my green carpet that I cut yesterday

      It then finished thrutching with a heave and a sigh

      And turned round to face me with that look in its eye

      I stopped dead in my tracks and began to shake like a leaf

      As it showed me its mouth and those can opener teeth

      It lumbered towards me and I piddled the floor

      Then walked past disgusted and disappeared next door.

      3393.png

      FOXY TROTTING

      I took a chance to ballroom dance

      And move like Fred Astaire

      I didn’t have a partner so I practiced with a chair

      We’d glide across the dance floor

      We’d dip and spin and sway

      Admired by an audience

      Who watched me dance all day

      My Rumba was the masterpiece

      My Tango sharp and square

      But I’m careful with the lifts and throws

      In case I break the chair.

      3395.png

      HIP HOP SLOP

      We’re in the Karaoke Cage, we sing like Abba would

      The audience start slinging bottles

      They think that we’re no good

      Tried a Country Ballad with a haunting catchy verse

      Those bottles just kept raining in

      In fact it got much worse!

      Then we sang a classic hit, it suddenly went quiet

      Now we’re really nervous, we think they’re gonna’ riot

      For God’s sake get us out of here we’re all too young to die!

      But then they all screamed out in unison

      You’re just a Jealous Guy!

      3397.png

      INCLINED TO RECLINE

      I wanted a sports car so low and so sleek

      With chromed blingy dials in a dashboard of teak

      Beige leather upholstery and a paint job in black

      A five litre engine with twin turbo stack

      There it stood on a forecourt complete with alloy wheels

      The Salesman said "Why don’t you try it out

      To see just how it feels?"

      I shoe horned all my body in and lay flat on the floor

      I couldn’t see much forward and less over the door

      Elevate the seat upright! the Salesman gave a shout

      "If I do that you asshole,

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