Be Who You Came to Be

Introduction

Sensitive people have it tough. There is a wave of consciousness and awakening that is sweeping the planet and pushing us all into a deeper awareness of our own true nature. So its more painful than ever before if you try to fit in, instead of listening to what your own wisdom is telling you.

The good news for sensitive people? When you do align with the unique passion that drives you, you create an irresistible magnetic force in your energy field that the universe can’t ignore. You become magnetic to better outcomes and to the life you desire. I have used the techniques I am sharing here to help hundreds of people to break through the conditioning that limits their access to their core energy and their highest purpose and gifts.

That’s what the methods explained here will help you achieve. They are all completely free for you to implement. They have been proven to create positive, far-reaching results.  And they can do the same for you.

All you have to do to reconnect to your true purpose, gifts and power is to keep reading.

Download Estelle’s FREE DNA healing process to release the ancestral programming that stops you moving forward in life: https://breakthroughhealing.lpages.co/dna-healing-download-/

About the author

Before becoming a healer, Estelle Gillingham spent far too many years allowing all kinds of invisible programs to influence her and prevent her from discovering the life path that was already mapped out for her by her own true nature. On her web site (www.estellegillingham.com) she describes the bizarre and complex journey she made from being a post-doctoral research chemist to being a powerful energy healer. And how she now takes great pleasure in enabling sensitive people from all over the world to go beyond fitting in and connecting instead with their soul’s highest purpose, gifts and power.

What other sensitive people are saying about working with Estelle and using the processes shared in this book:

A-MA-ZING!! I don’t have the words to describe our work together. I feel clearer, more centred and happier than ever before. My own work has become more powerful as a result.  I have already received far more healing than I ever thought was possible. ­- Alan Dolan, The Breath Guru

My vice-like chronic depression, anxiety and despair lifted off me. My non-existent energy catapulted to a higher vibration and I now have a clarity of mind that I’ve not experienced for years. —Hayley O’Neal

What has happened over the weeks has been nothing short of a miracle. In an entirely painless, gentle and tender process, my life has gone from one of struggling with deep set fear to one of lightness, fun and love.  I don’t remember when or if I have ever described myself as a happy person in the past, but I sure am one now. This stuff is amazing.  It’s like living in a parallel, but better, universe. Everything looks the same, but it feels fantastic. - Janet Dryden

After all the emotional, physical and mental investment I put into self-healing and endless therapies that only really touched the surface, it was so great to finally get something back that was not only quick and painless but life changing in a deep and lasting way.  A momentous block has definitely been removed. It has opened a door, too, where opportunities are appearing from nowhere for work and collaborative projects. I am excited to see what happens next! - Rachel Perry

CHAPTER 1

How I Ended Up as Someone I Hardly Recognised

T he supreme insistence of life is that you enter the adventure of creating yourself. Each instant of your life has folded into it un-nameable significance; all rests on your self-creativity, for out of you comes forth ultimate reality. The dynamics that fashioned the stars are now brought into your self-reflexive awareness, and what they create is your free adventure, your surprise for the universe. — Brian Swimme

Don’t worry about what the world needs... Ask what makes you come alive and do that. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive. —Havard Thurman

Life is either a daring adventure or it is nothing.

—Helen Keller

PAINFUL PATTERNS

Looking back at my life so far, I realize that even until the age of 39, I was the poster child for living from and for other people’s expectations. I was also a perfect example of what living up to other people’s standards and values can do to your happiness and your health.

After years of searching outside myself for what I should do, and ignoring everything my exquisite sensitivity was trying to tell me, I was disillusioned, uninspiring and uninspired. I was a ghost of the person I had been as a child and nothing I had achieved held any meaning for me.

So what had happened?

To really understand how we end up so far away from our true nature, it is usually necessary to examine the patterns that were seeded very early on in our childhood. In my case, it would be fair to say that I lived in a volatile family environment. I learned very early on that I had a talent for easing the tension around me by offering insightful advice, by listening to the people around me and by staying extremely calm. These strategies helped to achieve a temporary cease-fire between other family members. And, they also gave me a role. It even became a family joke that I had a gift for pouring oil onto troubled waters.

There was no way of realizing it at the time, but there was a hidden downside to getting my value from helping others and trying to ease their pain. It taught me that my pain and feelings didn’t matter as much as those of the people around me.

At an early age I became what I now know is termed an adapter. And, as a highly sensitive child, I took my adapting skills to an exceptional level. If ignoring my own feelings and helping other people became too frightening or painful for me to bear, I learned to cope by becoming trans-personal. I would send my consciousness out of my body and interpret events from a higher place where it was possible to see things without being confused by emotions. I found I could understand and manage by not actually being in my body. Many years went by before I learned that this approach (dissociation) also came with a taxing downside.

One of the factors that contributed to me so massively losing my way in life was the belief I ended up being hard-wired with that I was responsible for other people’s happiness. Being sensitive and a gifted adapter, I recognized that when I excelled at school, or in any other sphere of activity, it temporarily eased the tension in our house and made me feel as if I had some control over my environment.

So, in a nutshell, there they were: the three main ingredients that constituted the recipe for my future demise. At the most impressionable, highly programmable stage in my life I learned that the best ways to cope and succeed were to:

.a)  be brilliant at as many things as I possibly could;

.b)  remain quiet about what I was experiencing and to derive my sense of happiness, value and well-being from looking after and prioritizing other people’s feelings, needs, wants and desires; and,

.c)  send my consciousness out of my body and into a different realm when things became too difficult or painful.

Perhaps you recognize some of these programs and beliefs in your own life? If you do, you will probably have also realized, as I did, that in terms of how we sustain ourselves over the long term, there are a few problems inherent in this way of living. The biggest one, I discovered, was that there was no place in the plan whatsoever for me to ever receive any help or to resource myself. I soon became stuck in patterns of over-working and over-giving to ensure I excelled. And with nothing to sustain me, these stints would soon be followed by energy crashes, causing me to retreat into isolation in order to replenish my energy reserves.

Not surprisingly, I became ill. My first experience of post-viral chronic fatigue was after a school ski trip when I was about fifteen. As soon as I recovered enough to go back to school, my response was to redouble my efforts to make sure I caught up on everything I had missed – and then some! The pattern stuck, and despite frequent relapses into depression and fatigue, I became a workaholic.

Significant achievements followed in my life. I became the first member of my family to ever go to University. I graduated with a degree and a scholarship to do a PhD. Upon completion of my PhD, I was invited to become a post-doctoral research fellow in my university department.

This all looked prestigious to the outside world. In my inner world, however, I could feel that a part of me was dying. My successes were accompanied - silently - by chronic fatigue, joint pain, fibromyalgia, anxiety attacks and depression. According to allopathic medicine, I was perfectly well. The only thing my blood tests revealed was a very slight lack of iron.

Sometimes we have to reach rock bottom before we can begin to find our way back. In my case, I graduated from my scientific research and embarked upon a career in corporate communications just as the World Wide Web was taking off. I was hired by one rapidly growing Internet development agency after another as a Director of Projects. These unrelenting, demanding new roles turned into the perfect vehicle to push my body beyond its natural limits. Finally, adrenal burn out reared its ugly head. I followed my usual recovery pattern of leaving my job and resting up for a while, but this time there was no extra reserve of energy that I could draw from.

In my desperation to find meaning in my life while in this demoralizing state of self-inflicted, punishing exhaustion, I began to study poetry. Looking back I can see that I was looking for a doorway back into the sense of magic and connection with the natural world that I had felt in my childhood. Although I didn’t realize it at the time, poetry is one of the best forms of art for awakening people to deeper awareness and connection with the spiritual world.

At about that time