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    Even If.
    Even If.
    Even If.
    Ebook188 pages50 minutes

    Even If.

    By Umm Zakiyyah

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    From the internationally acclaimed author of the novel His Other Wife and the self-help books Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You and The Abuse of Forgiveness comes the personal testimony even if, poetry and prose in small verses, inspired by the tears and rage of Umm Zakiyyah’s life.

    “I don’t know if I’ll ever be brave enough to write a memoir,” she says, “but if I were to write one, this book would be the introduction.”

    A collection of heartfelt reflections from the author’s personal journal, even if offers a glimpse into the painful and confusing world of suffering emotional trauma at the hands of those bound to you by blood and faith.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherUmm Zakiyyah
    Release dateDec 6, 2017
    ISBN9781370756209
    Even If.
    Author

    Umm Zakiyyah

    Umm Zakiyyah is the bestselling author of the novels If I Should Speak trilogy, Muslim Girl, and His Other Wife; and the self-help book for religious survivors of abuse Reverencing the Wombs That Broke You. She writes about the interfaith struggles of Muslims and Christians and the intercultural, spiritual, and moral struggles of Muslims in America. Her work has earned praise from writers, professors, and filmmakers and has been translated into multiple languages.

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      Book preview

      Even If. - Umm Zakiyyah

      An Introduction To My Heart

      I don’t know if I’ll ever be brave enough to write a memoir, but if I were to write one, this book would be the introduction.

      This humble collection is borrowed from the tears and rage of my life, and I honestly have no idea if I’ve said too little or too much.

      Maybe I’ve done a bit of both.

      Umm Zakiyyah

      November 30, 2017

      Table of Contents

      An Introduction To My Heart

      My Emancipation Proclamation and Declaration of Independence

      Heart 1: trauma.

      Heart 2: Anger.

      Heart 3: surviving.

      About the Author

      Also By Umm Zakiyyah

      From a grateful, hurting heart.

      My Emancipation Proclamation

      and

      Declaration of Independence

      Till death do us part,

      I shall keep the ties,

      but cut the noose.

      baggage.

      everyone is carrying a story.

      but only a few will allow the pen to break their souls

      wide open.

      Confessions.

      My story is coming out in hiccups of pain, anger, and shame. And with each confession, I feel little more terrified and

      a little more free.

      heart 1

      trauma.

      blood and faith.

      the two sacred ties.

      we bound them around our hearts

      hoping for love and belonging

      yet the tie becomes a noose

      suffocating the heart

      until it grapples for life

      my storybook.

      once upon a home, there was a little girl who laughed

      and danced and loved

      even if her cheek stung from pain

      even if her heart trembled in fear

      even if no one was there

      prayer.

      my lord, forgive me

      my lord, forgive me

      my heart sometimes goes numb

      from the pain of the little girl

      who lost her home

      because she took refuge in you

      man.

      you taught me about God

      and said He’s more important

      than anyone

      and anything.

      and I believed you—

      but forgive me

      because

      I never knew—

      that God was a synonym

      for you.

      envy.

      with angry hearts,

      they tear down the walls of my home

      searching in the rubble

      for some semblance

      of self-worth

      of faith

      clarity.

      nothing clears the heart like a shot through the chest.

      epiphany.

      nothing clears the head like a smack to the face.

      home.

      where the heart is

      not

      home.

      but home is

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