Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Find Me Love: science fiction romance
    Find Me Love: science fiction romance
    Find Me Love: science fiction romance
    Ebook109 pages1 hour

    Find Me Love: science fiction romance

    By Pantson Fire

    5/5

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Rod Crypton has to face the facts. His doctor tells him he is a zombie. That's not good, but he joins one of their singles groups and meets a nice female werewolf. Jimbo Wildhamer is upset over his third divorce, and decides to go to a nudist colony, By mistake he checks into a new age religious sect. Find Me Love is a box set bundle of fantasy romance, historical ficttion, and science fiction novellas and novelettes by pulp ebook writer Pantson Fire. Expect the unexpected.

    As Pants explains in Majestic, he's here to fix broken hearts.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAvantLifeGuard Books
    Release dateDec 7, 2017
    ISBN9781386008170
    Find Me Love: science fiction romance
    Author

    Pantson Fire

    When Pantson Fire first started publishing his books, he benefitted from some amazing coincidences, like when a horse named Pants On Fire (Rosie Napravnik up) ran in the Kentucky Derby. He has had an up and down career, such as when his Canadian publisher went out of business.

    Read more from Pantson Fire

    Related to Find Me Love

    Titles in the series (12)

    View More
    View More

    Related ebooks

    Fantasy Romance For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      It Happened to Me…

      Jun 16, 2022

      A genuine miracle occurred at the art opening of the Blinky 40th Anniversary Exhibition at California State University Northridge Gallery in Southern California on 2 February 2019. An artwork by Erika Ostrander of the “Shroud of Blinky” was found wee

      6 min read

    • Article

      Speedboat

      Mar 24, 2022

      Nobody died that year. Nobody prospered. There were no births or marriages. Seventeen reverent satires were written – disrupting a cliché and, presumably, creating a genre. That was a dream, of course, but many of the most important things, I fi nd,

      14 min read

    • Article

      79 The Terrible Grinning Men

      Sep 10, 2020

      79 The Terrible Grinning Men
      8 min read

    • Article

      Excerpts From The Works Of The 2024 Whiting Award Winners

      Apr 10, 2024

      The 2024 Whiting Award winners were announced Wednesday night. Below are excerpts from their work.

      19 min read

    • Article

      Ineffectual Tribute to Len

      Mar 15, 2019

      After graduate school I hung around another year and drove a cab for Iowa City Yellow Cab. The cab was a boat, a Chevrolet Caprice wagon. I could have put a mattress in the back and lived in it. I didn’t hate the job. I’d sit in the Kroger parking lo

      24 min read

    • Article

      Hollywood, Ending

      Feb 13, 2018

      Hollywood, Ending
      7 min read

    • Article

      The July War

      Sep 8, 2020

      In summer, our neighborhood quiets in phases. The quieting begins in May. Schools give their older kids, the seventeen- and eighteen-year-olds, a month off to prepare for the baccalaureate exams. Following a ritual as old as our parents, the students

      21 min read

    • Article

      The Turn

      Aug 14, 2019

      HERE’S a story. In college I entered the spring semester of my freshman year on academic probation. There wasn’t one reason this happened. There were many. I had signed up for a computer science class called Digital Security with no programming knowl

      5 min read

    • Article

      HUNTING With The Ellements…

      Sep 13, 2021

      HUNTING With The Ellements…
      19 min read

    • Article

      The Joke

      Sep 1, 2020

      Although best known for his 1953 novel Fahrenheit 451, Ray Bradbury was also a prolific writer of short stories, having published his first while still a teenager. This previously unpublished story likely dates to 1950, the year The Martian Chronicle

      5 min read

    • Article

      Hey, Necromancer!

      Sep 18, 2018

      Hey, Necromancer!
      8 min read

    • Article

      Lol

      Jul 14, 2021

      Lol
      3 min read

    • Article

      His Brilliant Career

      Mar 19, 2023

      His Brilliant Career
      9 min read

    • Article

      My Life Among The Lions

      Feb 22, 2023

      My Life Among The Lions
      5 min read

    • Article

      My Life Among The Lions

      Feb 22, 2023

      My Life Among The Lions
      5 min read

    • Article

      It Happened to Me…

      Nov 4, 2021

      When my son was around one, many items of his clothing began to inexplicably disappear. I can’t over-emphasise the inexplicable nature of what occurred – all the items unquestionably disappeared in my house. The house is always secure, and there is n

      8 min read

    • Article

      It Happened to Me…

      Aug 12, 2021

      It Happened to Me…
      8 min read

    • Article

      A Temporary Arrangement

      Oct 2, 2023

      A Temporary Arrangement
      19 min read

    • Article

      My Life Among The Lions

      Feb 22, 2023

      My Life Among The Lions
      5 min read

    • Article

      Life In The past Lane

      Aug 27, 2021

      Life In The past Lane
      5 min read

    • Article

      It Happened To Me…

      Jan 26, 2023

      It Happened To Me…
      7 min read

    • Article

      ‘Goodnight Stranger’: Featured Fiction from Miciah Bay Gault

      Jul 30, 2019

      An excerpt from Gault's debut novel, a literary thriller reminiscent of the work of Shirley Jackson and Henry James's 'The Turn of the Screw.' The post ‘Goodnight Stranger’: Featured Fiction from Miciah Bay Gault appeared first on The Millions.

      4 min read

    • Article

      The Smoke of the Land Went Up

      Mar 4, 2024

      The Smoke of the Land Went Up
      11 min read

    • Article

      The Ceremony

      Sep 6, 2022

      It was something. Out of nowhere, I didn’t give a shit about anything for like a month. Like nothing. I mean yeah, there’d been plenty of times where I didn’t give a shit about something. Oh that thing? Yeah, fuck that thing. I did it all the time. M

      5 min read

    • Article

      Descent

      Jun 14, 2022

      People got out in strange ways. No stranger, I suppose, than the ways they got in. One year an American military helicopter flew too low over an Italian ski village, killing two families headed up the lift. A woman at Hillcrest had Italian citizenshi

      22 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Find Me Love

    5/5

    1 rating0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Find Me Love - Pantson Fire

      By Pantsön Firè

      Copyright © MMXXIII by J. J. Brearton

      AvantLifeGuard Books

      All Rights Reserved

      Book I

      Zombie Man

      Book II

      We Used To Be Shakers

      Book III

      Max

      Book IV

      Majestic

      I

      Zombie Man

      Chapter One

      Rod Crypton got a gradually increasing feeling that something was wrong.

      He was losing weight and had wrinkles all over his face. He had aches and pains. When he said hello to a pretty girl in an elevator, she moved away, pressed against the wall, and ran when the doors opened. He noticed that some times young women would even refuse to ride in elevators with him. No one would sit next to him on the bus.

      People in crowded bars moved away when he entered the establishment. In one place, a manager asked him to leave.

      He went to a doctor. The nurse recoiled from his presence, and was barely able to move the little weight thing that showed he was now up to 210 pounds.

      He gave a urine sample and blood. The doctor came back in—actually, a Physician’s Assistant.

      Yup, she said. You're a zombie.

      How did this happen?

      Happens to all guys your age. Get used to it.

      But get used to it he could not.

      He put ads in dating sites. He said, Not a zombie. It didn't work.

      He searched online for a life coach, but no one responded to his emails. It was like he had no life—like he didn't exist!

      Then he finally broke down after weeks and weeks of no dates.

      He listed himself on an all zombie site.

      Zombies looking for zombies—werewolves looking for zombies—zombies looking for vampires—vampires looking for werewolves—there sure was an extensive list—hey, what the hell were these vampires on the site, looking for werewolves? He had a good mind to complain.

      Then, finally, his cell phone rang—the one he got exclusively for zombie calls. It was the first time it rang. The ring tone was the theme from the Lone Ranger. He wondered if there was anyone still alive that remembered that.

      Hi, are you Rod the zombie?

      Yes, he said.

      Hi, I'm Vonzilla. I'm kind of a werewolf.

      What do you look like?

      Not too much hair. Just avoid full moons.

      Sounds like a plan.

      She wanted to meet him at a PetsMart. Sounded weird. But he was desperate, so he waited at the doggie treat aisle, with a piece of paper taped to his chest that said, Rod.

      As he watched the shoppers, he was getting freaked out—then someone poked him in the ribs. He turned around, and the ugliest—no, incredibly ugliest woman he had ever seen, stood right in front of him.

      Vonzilla? he said. Is that you?

      Who? No, she said. You're blocking the squeaky toys.

      Oh, sorry.

      He backed away.

      Before he knew it he'd bumped into another woman. He turned around, and sure enough—there she was. Vonzilla, all spiffed up in black leather.

      A bit on the old side—looked like she might be in her forties—but kind of attractive, though she did kind of have a big nose.

      Not a problem, though. A big nose with a nice figure—that's an okay trade off in his mind.

      Hi, she said, staring at the little piece of paper.

      Oh, hi. You must be Vonzilla.

      Yeah. Call me Vonnie.

      Okay, sure.

      Chapter two

      Things went okay. He had several dates with her. She was very nice, divorced from a divorce attorney (that was weird)—had plenty of cash—drove a Hummer. They had many passionate kisses in his car, but that's as far as they went. When he suggested something further, she pushed him away, and said, Not yet.

      Everything was going fine until he lost track of the calendar.

      He met Vonnie at the UnGarden Grill.

      He was sitting at the bar, sipping a brew, waiting for her to show up—it was early, maybe 5:30 at night, and he glanced out the window and saw a big, fat full moon rising.

      Hey, Rod! he heard, and looked over.

      There she was—kind of wild-eyed.

      He tried to pretend nothing was happening. Got her the usual glass of muscatel, as they waited for their table.

      Then he noticed she was kind of—it's hard to explain it—she was pawing his arm. Just kind of scratching his dungaree jacket.

      Man, she said. It's getting hot in here.

      She took off her coat and started undoing the top few buttons of her blouse.

      A young lady with spiky red hair appeared, carrying menus.

      Your table is ready, she said.

      ––––––––

      Chapter Three

      We have actually decided, this is so out there—why don't we ask Rod to pull up a chair and tell us his story in his own words?

      Here it is.

      Everything is crazy now, it seems. Plus, it's like everything I do is wrong.

      I was getting so desperate, I signed up for a singles ski trip.

      I can't even bring myself yet to tell you about my dinner date—not the complete story—with Vonzilla. I just can't describe it yet.

      Anyway, like I said, I had signed up for this ski trip before I'd started going out with Vonzilla, and, well, I hadn't been able to reach her—figured maybe she blew me off, so, I went to this zombie ski trip at Brodie Mountain.

      I got to say, seeing wave after wave of zombies coming down the mountain—scarves blowing in the wind—the vacant look in their eyes—slamming into trees—flying off moguls—leaving body parts all over the terrain—even for me—it was an unsettling sight.

      Some of the zombies got to the bottom of the mountain and couldn't stop, and crashed into cars in the parking lot. Some late arrivals sure got a bit more than they bargained for.

      So, I'm in the bar, at Kelley's Irish Alps, and turn around, and I swear to god it was like something flew down from the rafters—this big guy, with a black cape, and the whitest complexion—I mean, he could have been an albino-I have no idea. And he gives this big grin, with these pointy bicuspids—I swear—they looked like they were dripping blood—and he says, Zo, I hear you're going out wiff my wive, Vonzilla.

      Folks, I have no idea what came over me. I whipped this bunch of tied up cloves of garlic out of my pocket, stuck them in his face and said, Here, buddy. Take a sniff of this!

      Well, the guy jumped back as if he was hit by a Mack truck, and there

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1