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Make Your Mind Up: My Guide to Finding Your Own Style, Life, and Motavation!
Make Your Mind Up: My Guide to Finding Your Own Style, Life, and Motavation!
Make Your Mind Up: My Guide to Finding Your Own Style, Life, and Motavation!
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Make Your Mind Up: My Guide to Finding Your Own Style, Life, and Motavation!

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About this ebook

From tips on life, love, and everything in between; to original DIYs, recipes, and style hacks; to the incredible story of a girl next door turned Internet sensation, Make Your Mind Up is the ultimate guide to rocking your look and ruling your world—from inspirational YouTuber, designer, entrepreneur, and digital influencer, Bethany Mota.

When Bethany first propped her camera on a stack of books and pressed record on her family’s handheld camera in 2009, she didn't realize her life was about to change—forever. After uploading her first video to YouTube at just thirteen years old, Bethany quickly became one of the Internet’s go-to beauty, style, and lifestyle vloggers. Since then, she has filmed countless room tours and tutorials, traveled the world, experimented with hundreds of DIYs, designed her own clothing line, gone on an international tour, competed on Dancing with the Stars, and created health, beauty, and wellness content for multiple platforms.

But before Bethany found her #MotaFam online, life wasn’t looking so great: After being intensely bullied in school, the already shy Bethany retreated further into her shell, suffering from crippling anxiety and a lack of self-confidence she just couldn’t shake. From growing up on a dairy farm in small-town Los Banos, California, to figuring out how to overcome anxiety and find her voice, to finally breaking out of her shell and learning to forge her own positive path, Make Your Mind Up is more than just a heartwarming memoir or lifestyle guide—this is a portrait of Bethany’s life, exactly how she lives it.
LanguageEnglish
PublisherGallery Books
Release dateJun 13, 2017
ISBN9781501154683
Author

Bethany Mota

YouTube sensation, designer, digital influencer, and entrepreneur Bethany Mota is one of the most powerful voices in social media, with more than twenty-five million followers across her platforms and more than a billion views on YouTube alone. A creator at heart, Mota has partnered with both Aeropostale and Target to design and release clothing, accessories, fragrances, and school supplies. Hailed twice by Time magazine as one of the “Most Influential Teens in the World,” Mota has interviewed President Barack Obama, toured the world speaking and performing in front of sold-out audiences, has fronted campaigns for both UNICEF and PACER National Bullying Prevention Center, was a finalist on season nineteen of Dancing with the Stars, released her own mobile game, and has been featured on the covers of numerous magazines both internationally and domestically. When she isn’t working or traveling the world, you can find her at home in Los Angeles, California.

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Reviews for Make Your Mind Up

Rating: 3.5360824479381447 out of 5 stars
3.5/5

388 ratings34 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I love Amy's voice here. Always authentic, frequently funny, and often moving
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed this book. I am a fan of Amy Schumer's comedy, but this book made me like her even more. I appreciate how unapologetic she is about her life and her actions. I was surprised to learn that she is an introvert, and I am so happy she shared that with everyone. People need to know that you can be an introvert and not be shy. You just value your alone time.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I don't love Amy Schumer but when I saw her book at a thrift shop i went ahead and bought it. I'm glad I did. I enjoyed it much more than I thought I would. It was light and humorous and for me, Schuemr's humor translates much better in print. I'm surprised how much I liked this book so if you're a fan of Amy Schumer, you will probably enjoy it even more.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Funny... if you like Amy you'll have a blast with this book. If you don't like her, I'm not sure this will woo you. She holds out no olive branches to anyone uncomfortable with scatological, lowbrow, sort of inelegant humor that always makes you feel you've had a couple of beers already. I found it perfect to listen to at the gym (Amy reads the audiobook), and it would be similarly great to read on a plane or on vacation or to relax.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I have always thought Amy Schumer was funny, but I’ve not gone out of my way to see her stuff, and wasn’t planning to read this book. I’m so glad I did! I listened to the audio, read by Amy, and absolutely loved it. I laughed, I cried, and I was surprised. She is hilarious, unashamed, crude, and so very human and relatable.⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️1/2
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I like Amy Schumer. I respect her talent, her vulnerability, her feminism, her intelligence, and her work ethic. I liked Trainwreck quite a bit, and she is enjoyable on the red carpet. All that said, though there are brilliant moments in her stand up and her tv show, and I have great respect for her, I simply don't enjoy watching it most of the time (though there are some sketches that I think are genius.) Not every act is for every viewer. But I like this book which is smart, sometimes funny, and really empowering for younger women
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really like Amy Schumer as a person. She makes me uncomfortable sometimes because she is so open and uncensored, but I also think she is intelligent, a feminist, honest, hardworking, and, duh, funny! The first half of the book felt like her attempt to be funny on paper, which didn't work all that well for me. Kinda raunchy and forced. Then the second half of the book was wonderful. There were less walls and she didn't hide behind the jokes as much. There she talks about body image, abusive relationships, her parents, and a shooting that happened during a viewing of Trainwreck and how strongly she feels about gun control. Don't get me wrong, Schumer still has her authentic potty mouth, but I could feel some of the uncomfortableness of her life without having to laugh it off. I like her very much!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Amy Schumer's book comes out at a time when it seems like every celebrity in the world has a book out: some collection of essays about their life, showcasing how funny they are and what their life is like as a celebrity. In Schumer's, we hear about her life from childhood to her post Trainwreck success and nearly everything in between: her friendships, her relationships, her parents, and her growth as a comedian. And, of course, a lot about sex. The book is told in a series of chapters - essays if you will - each one covering a particular moment in Schumer's life. They don't go in any particular order, but cover the gamut of her range of experiences.

    I found this book to be a refreshing and engaging celebrity book. It carried a surprising depth. I don't know a ton about Schumer, but loved Trainwreck and have had a crush on her for ages. That crush has only intensified upon reading her book, as I discovered several similarities between us: introverts who love hotdogs and have complicated relationships with their mothers, who both internalize stress to the point where it makes us sick. We're a match made in heaven! But, seriously, Schumer is an excellent writer, and her book is an easy read, with well-written and wonderful essays that range from humorous to serious (and often both).

    Her book avoided all of my usual celebrity autobiography/memoir/essay pet peeves. In this book, we really learn about Schumer, instead of just a few token stories. I was fascinated to hear about her career trajectory: you get a great look into how hard she worked in her early years as a comedian. In addition, we actually get a lot of insight into her early life-- her childhood and teenage years. What I love is that she comes across as a real human being, instead of giving us a book that is simply full of polished, trite jokes and well-worn stories.

    In fact, while parts of the book make you laugh out loud, other places make you empathize with Schumer. The book is funny, but not too funny or fake funny. And it's serious without preaching. She covers topics such as sexual assault, gun control, her father's MS, her relationship with her parents, and other serious childhood experiences that molded her, with a realism that is refreshing. Sure, there are a few "woe is me" moments about how hard it is to be a celebrity, or what it's like to have money, but they are few and far between. By the end, I admired Amy even more as a person and a comedian, and my crush will continue on stronger than ever.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Real and funny. Real funny.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Less humorous and more wrenching then I expected.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    This is 5th or 6th book that I have by a female humorist(Tina Fey, Emma Klein, Leno Dunham, Amy Poehler and now this) and they were all very good. I couldn't rate this higher because it was bit long and not very groundbreaking. On the good side, it was funny especially in her narrative. She dealt with some serious stuff but also gave us insight into her upbringing etc. There was a little bit too much telling us how well she treats people now that she is a star but it certainly looks like she has gotten where she is through hard work and talent. I do enjoy her work but I think one book by her would be enough.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    A memoir that you expected from a comedian.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I picked up this audio book expecting Amy Schumer's usual brand of humor, and wasn't disappointed on that score. But I was also pleasantly surprised to find so much more here. Amy opens up about her life -- including the painful bits -- and shares stories about her past that not everyone would have the moxie to do. I give her credit for her honesty, and admire her loyalty to friends and family. Overall, an interesting, enjoyable, and very funny read. (Amy herself gives a hilarious reading of the audio version.)
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    Okay, truth is I didn't read it. I picked it up in the store and skimmed thru it about 10 minutes. Having seen bits and pieces of her 'comedy' act...mostly about various body parts...I wasn't expecting much. A brief glance confirmed it. I can't see any sober, un-stoned person liking this.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Fun book. Amy is hilarious.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    For one of (in my opinion) the funniest stand up comedians of our generation, this book was very not-funny. I did not laugh hardly at all. Sure there were some funny one liners and quips thrown in, but overall, the book fell extremely flat in the humor department. It came wholly unexpected considering the author.Schumer has made a career with in your face, no holds barred, unapologetic humor and I was really looking forward to laughing my ass off with her first book. Sadly the laughs never came. I'm not entirely sure if that was purposeful, or if she just fell short. I'm assuming it was intentional, which I guess is a choice, I'm just not sure why it would be her choice.Most of the chapters felt very forced for me, like every chapter had to end with a life lesson, literally. It became so formulaic I found myself guessing what the life lesson would be before I reached the end of each chapter. She even begins the book by saying, I do not have any advice or life lessons for you, and then proceeds chapter after chapter to try and give us advice and life lessons. t felt almost like she was trying so hard to show that she is more then just a stand up comedian, and we can learn from her, which I absolutely believe is true, however the way she went about it just felt so pushed and out of context.There were some really great chapters that gave huge insight into a darker part of her life, which I loved! I think they could have been even stronger if the overall book had felt more lighthearted. Something Amy Poehler did wonderfully in her book! Just to throw out a comparison. You can be funny and still give us insight and depth. The chapters where she truly opened about her abuse, the shooting in the theatre where they were showing her movie, and her relationship with her mother all were really well written and drew me, and captivated me. It did what I feel a memoir should do, and that is to allow me to understand you more, scars and all. Overall though, sadly, I felt the book was mostly just sort of meh. Not at all what I was expecting. I applaud her wanting to give us another side to her then just the nasty, foul mouthed comic, but when that is who you have shown us, and made us fall in love with, I feel like maybe don't abandon us so quickly. She also continuously threw in JKJK after almost any crude joke she told, like we needed her to remind us it was a joke? It felt so odd. Like if I go and see you perform, you don't stop after everytime you tell us something sexual and remind us you're totally kidding. We get it, you're telling jokes. It felt really odd in context and distracted from the stories, and only added to the whole, not funny aspect of the book. It felt like I was reading about someone else completely with the word vagina thrown in here and there as a reminder of who wrote it. It almost felt as if she had something to prove and instead of owning her crude, unapologetic humor, she was shying away from it, while claiming not to. To be clear I am a huge fan of Amy Schumer, just not of this memoir. I'll stick with her movies, tv show and stand up.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    If you like Amy, then you will like this funny, raw collection of autobiographical stories. It's not trying to tell her story it's bite sized stories. The audiobook, read by Amy herself, may be the best way to enjoy this book. It will inevitably make you the person laughing to himself.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I don't know why I didn't expect to love this but I'm sure glad I was wrong. This book was awesome! I pretty much only know Amy Schumer from Trainwreck, I've never watched her show or her stand-ups so I didn't have any pre-conceived notions about her really. Which was kind of nice, it made her really down to earth even though she's clearly quite famous. In the same vein as Tina Fey, Mindy Kaling, or Amy Poehler, this book virtually convinces the reader that you should be best friends with Amy, she's so relatable, funny, and real. Gah, I sound like such a fangirl. But really, I went from virtually no opinion on Amy to number one fan (except for my friend Moffett, no one can top that kind of crazy!). This book isn't a memoir it's more of a mishmash of stories, lists, photos, opinions, and comedy. It's got a little something for everyone. It can be downright hilarious hearing about her hook ups and shenanigans and then it can take a completely serious turn as she discusses her dad's MS or the shooting at one of her movie screenings. I loved all of it and I look forward to reading more of her stuff in the future.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I read Amy Schumer's The Girl With the Lower Back Tattoo even though I'm frequently disappointed with comedian's autobiographies. Some of it was pretty wonderful: when she speaks about rape and abuse and also when she talks about body acceptance. But then she has to throw in her "just to be shocking" humor, and I'm not shocked, just bored and disappointed. In my book club last month someone threw out the statement that it takes a certain kind of woman to get herself into an abusive relationship. Maybe I should give the book to her just for that.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Amy Schumer is one of my favorite comedians. She is funny, kind, smart and honest. I've seen her live once and can not wait to see her on her next tour. When I heard she had a book coming out I couldn't wan't to read it. I got it through Book of the Month (love this book subscription). I finally picked it up last week, but found myself not loving it. I found the stories interesting, but sometimes felt forced jokes in them and the chapters seemed a bit rambling and random at times. About half way through the book, my opinion started to change. I was actually laughing out loud at times, but also really enjoying each chapter. I don't know if my mood changed or the writing changed, but I absolutely loved the second half of the book. I would definitely recommend this book. Not only is it funny, but it is smart, insightful and empowering.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I love biographies and autobiographies. I don't care who they are about, whether I like them or not, what their job is, or anything. Have your accountant write an autobiography, I will love it. And I enjoy Amy Schumer talking about herself. But the book, while often funny,feels almost tortured like she's not into it. Or I could be projecting, I wonder if subconsciously while reading it, if I remembered some interaction she had with her rape apologist writer and his detractors and therefore was sort of dejected about spending time with her book. When somebody is greatly lacking self-awareness, autobiographies seem like a lie, and even entertaining lies feel kind of pointless and empty.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I expected a rollicking read of hilarious anecdotes about sex and men but instead I read about serious issues like family members with MS, the importance of gun control laws after a shooting in a theatre showing Trainwreck. Don't get me wrong Amy still writes her funny stuff too but she has a depth and seriousness that I never knew about. I was sad when the book ended and I rushed right home to get my Trainwreck DVD out. Good job Amy!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A special thank you to NetGalley and HarperCollins for an ARC in exchange for an honest review.Well colour me surprised! I actually enjoyed The Girl with the Lower Back Tattoo way more than I thought I would. There were things that made me laugh, and things that moved me too. I could have done without the lists, and most certainly done with out the chapter on her stuffed animals, but other than that, I felt she was incredibly honest, and real. She shares with readers some truly painful experiences. The way she lost her virginity was sad, horrific, and painful. Schumer was also in an abusive relationship that resulted in a few terrifying ordeals that left me feeling incredibly sad for her, but optimistic in that maybe by sharing her story, she gave someone else the courage to leave an abusive relationship. My heart went out to her when she spoke of her father's MS, but she did take things a bit too far (poop story) and this was not necessary. I could empathize when she wrote about her mother, and their volatile relationship—she has had to establish some pretty tough and firm boundaries. Many mothers and daughters walk a fine line, and I really struggle to understand why women are so cruel to other women, oftentimes this starts out with criticisms from one's mother.I love that she is unabashedly a feminist. She is also kind, smart, and doesn't make apologies for any of her failures or shortcomings. She works hard, and is of course funny. “I know my worth. I embrace my power. I say if I’m beautiful. I say if I’m strong. You will not determine my story. I will. I’ll speak and share and fuck and love, and I will never apologize for it. I am amazing for you, not because of you. I am not who I sleep with. I am not my weight. I am not my mother. I am myself. And I am all of you."
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Schumer manages a nice balance of humor and serious revelations about herself and her family.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Memoir written and read my Amy Schumer, is heartfelt, shocking, but creates sympathy for her and other young women who have had similar experiences. Schumer grew up in a family of alcoholics and was forced to be the adult in the family after her parents divorced. Amy ended up trying to raise her little sister. Her mom made the mistake of treating her young daughter as a roommate rather than taking the role of a responsible adult. Shumer is candid, honest, funny, crass, bold, disgusting at times, and, has the tendency to gain weight with which most of us can relate. She endeavors to empower women to be comfortable in their own skin, body type, and place in the world. (really, make your own place.) She shared very sensitive and private details with the intention of being honest and not to shock. I appreciated her story but it should come with a "warning" label.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book is both humorous and honest (painfully at times) and a delight to read. Despite her success, Amy Schumer is easy to relate to and inspiring to look up to. She comes across as honest, flawed, confident, and assertive. She is one of the people I envy, those who know themselves well and stay true to themselves. I highly recommend this book and if you listen to audiobooks, I will say that listening to this story in Amy Schumer's own voice is an additional treat.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Amy Schumer is a very funny woman, but she is also honest and very likable. She can be vulgar, opinionated and charming, often all at once, in this very personable reflection on her life. I enjoy her comedy and loved reading her insights on life, love, family, friends and staying sane in today’s world.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I didn’t quite know what to expect from this memoir. I knew very little about Amy Schumer prior to this memoir, only having seen some of her skits as well as her hosting the 2015 MTV Movie Awards, but I thought she was funny and I’m a complete sucker for memoirs narrated by the authors themselves. But after this book? I love her. She’s absolutely hysterical with her self-deprecating sense of humor while still managing to be completely empowering as well as her candid talks about her sex life which are totally amusing.“I’m a real woman who digests her meals and breaks out and has sweet little pockets of cellulite on her upper thighs that she’s not apologizing for. Because guess what? We all have that shit. We’re all human beings.”You can’t help but love that honesty. It’s straightforward and sincere and only helps to make us females lacking that “perfect body” feel a little bit better about ourselves. It is what it is, people. Move along.“I also want to clarify that this book has NO SELF-HELP INFO OR ADVICE FOR YOU […] I’m a flawed fuckup and I haven’t figured anything out, so I have no wisdom to offer you. But what I can help with is showing you my mistakes and my pain and my laughter […]”While Schumer is widely known for being a Comedian, this book isn’t all fun and games. While I would have adored a book from her composed of nothing but sidesplitting humor, I can understand why she took the opportunity to voice her opinions and include a few more insightful notes. And while she does clarify at the very beginning that there is nothing self-help about this book, there are still many lessons that can be learned from her words. She discusses in depth the amount of time and energy she spent to build her career from the ground up, to always stand up for who you are and what you believe in, and to learn to roll with the punches life throws at you with the determination that you will eventually come out of this. The types of stories she shares though are widely varied going from hilarious recollections of her childhood stuffed animals that now look like something out of a nightmare to reading clips from her teenage diary entries (including present day footnotes). She speaks openly about being an introvert and these parts were like preaching to the choir.‘I really don’t do well at parties or gatherings where I feel like I am obligated to be more “social.” Usually I will find a corner to hide in and immediately begin haunting it like the girl from The Ring, just hoping no one will want to come talk to me.’But on the opposite end of the spectrum, she tells us tragic stories about the loss of her virginity, about her own personal story of domestic abuse, her terrifying stories of blacking out, and a very stirring statement on gun control that I at one point even said “Fuck yeah, Amy!” while listening. While those entries aren’t funny or entertaining to read about, it’s a part of what makes Amy, well, Amy and for that I appreciate her honesty. She knocked it out of the park with her narration and I do so hope she writes more in the future. I’ll leave you with this gem.‘He walked down the aisle and I watched him, his arms bulging and his huge hands gripping his bag as he navigated his way between the seats. I was thinking, Maybe when he walks by I can pretend to sneeze … and fall on the floor in front of him … and he will trip and fall inside of me.‘
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Ala1thanhthom love fashion. Ala1thanhthom chủ doanh nghiệp Cắt May Alamode
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    I couldn't get past the introduction. This girl talks about being shy but as far as I'm concerned she doesn't know what shy is. She did cheer and took dance and performed in community performances. That's not shy. Shy is being so paralyzed with fear that you attend dance class one time and can't go back or you take one piano lesson and then chicken out. That's shy. Now she's a YouTuber. It's all good for her and she found her confidence but this book was not for me. I will say her writing style is amenable.

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Make Your Mind Up - Bethany Mota

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Contents

HEY, GUYS!

INTRODUCTION

Getting MOTAVATED

How I follow my passions, find my confidence, and feed my creativity

1 CONFIDENCE

2 CREATIVITY

Getting HEALTHY

How I keep my body strong through food and fitness

3 FOOD

4 FITNESS

Getting GORGEOUS

How I play up my personal clothing and makeup style

5 STYLE

6 BEAUTY

Getting SOCIAL

How I find and build relationships through friends and dating

7 FRIENDS

8 DATING

Getting CHILL

How I feed my soul with alone time and a happy home

9 ME TIME

10 HOME

THANK YOU!

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PHOTO AND WARDROBE CREDITS

Hey, guys!

I’m so glad you’re here, because I would love to tell you a story. It’s about how when I was little, I didn’t have a voice.

What I mean by that is that I was so shy and scared to speak up, some people thought I was mute. Like, literally. They thought I was unable to talk. Around my sister or my parents, I was chatty, loud, and always said exactly what was on my mind, but I never opened up to people outside of my family. In any crowded situation, I would hide behind my mom and I wouldn’t say a word.

Since then, a ton of things have happened—both big and small—to get me where I am today. I’ve finally found my voice, and now I get to share my ideas in ways I only dreamed of as a child. But the only way I got here was by making my mind up about who I wanted to be. Then, I used sheer motivation by overcoming some difficult experiences, facing my fears, and putting my authentic self out there. Now I want to share my story and hopefully inspire you to live the life you want to live, say the things you want to say, and be the person you want to be.

I would never tell someone how to live his or her life, because there isn’t just one way to live creatively, stylishly, beautifully, or confidently. But I would love to take you guys on a tour of how I live mine.

Want to come along?

xo,

Bethany

INTRODUCTION

Messy Little Me

You wouldn’t know it by looking at my style now that I post on my Insta feed, but I was a total tomboy as a kid. I’d wear a tank top and little shorts, and my hair was a really short bob with choppy bangs my mom cut for me herself. Most of the time, I was running around outdoors, so my hair was usually a hot mess and I was always dirty. But my parents just let me do my own thing, which I’m eternally grateful for. Because even though I’ve cut down on running around outdoors in the dirt, I’m still messy in my own way. And the freedom my parents gave me in those early years encouraged me to follow my own unique path. Which is exactly how I got to where I am today.

I grew up in a town called Los Banos, outside of San Francisco, with my mom, Tammy, my dad, Tony, and my sister, Brittany, who is five years older than me. People often ask if Brittany and I got along or if she ever picked on me, but the truth is that I was the one who was mean to her! It’s actually a joke in my family because our relationship was the opposite of the older sibling picking on the younger sister. As a little tot, I would pull her hair and wrestle her to the floor—and being the accommodating, sweet big sister she was, she could see I was having fun and so she just dealt with it. I only teased (okay, tormented) her for a couple of years, but I still feel so bad about it. Now, of course, we’re the closest of friends. She’s married and has a daughter, Marin Mae (the cutest, most lovable niece a girl could ask for), and we talk or FaceTime every day.

When I was five, we moved into another house in the same town, but this one was on a dairy farm. There were only about five houses on the property, so it felt a little isolated. Most neighbors were married couples without kids, so my sister and I didn’t have a lot of options for playmates. You know how some kids play with neighborhood kids growing up? Me, I made friends with . . . cows. I’m not kidding; there were cows in pens everywhere. They were just so cute that I’d try and take ownership over each cow by petting and naming them. Granted, at five years old I was teeny and they were huge, but I wasn’t scared of them like I was of people. Go figure.

I remember one morning, I woke up to see the cows had escaped their pen and were surrounding our house. When I looked out my bedroom window, there were three cows just chilling, staring at me through the glass. It was really bizarre. And I’ve always wondered how the cows got out, because someone would have to let them out, right? And how long had they been watching me sleep? Okay, I’m getting off track. Focus, Beth.

I’ll never forget how one summer a family finally moved in with kids my sister’s and my age. Welp, I thought, I guess these kids will be our friends. I was quiet around them at first—the way I always was around new people—but the more time our families spent together, the more my neighbors became like family. Those kids became my first real, live friends.

There was a trail behind my house that the four of us (my neighbors, my sister, and I) would explore, which was scary and full of snakes (in retrospect: not the best idea). We also had one of those home jungle gyms in my backyard. Playing outside and letting my imagination run wild was my paradise. I could make an entire imaginary world out of sticks and stones, and I absolutely loved it.

When I wasn’t exploring the great outdoors, making friends with cows, or crossing paths with scary snakes, my family and I would drive to Portuguese festas. (My dad is from Portugal, and my mom is Mexican and Irish.) There was a big Portuguese community in Los Banos, and every month or so, we’d all gather at the community center for a festa to share Portuguese music and food. We’d sit at tables on the ground floor, serving ourselves from pots of food on each table; later, everyone would go upstairs and dance until 1 am. There were partner dances and group dances with a lot of twirling involved, and I was always dancing along—but I’m pretty sure I wasn’t doing any of it right! I was proud to be a part of that community, which felt like a big, extended family. It also brought me much closer to my dad’s family—especially my grandma and grandpa. Both of them only spoke Portuguese, but I always felt very connected to them having shared those experiences.

I was an expert at entertaining myself at home alone, too. Since iPads were obviously a thing of the distant future at the time, I had a lot of toys that I kept myself occupied with when I wasn’t running wild or spending time with my family: baby dolls, Barbies, the classic Fisher-Price car that you climbed into, and a life-sized kitchen set with all the fake pots that I played with in my cooking phase. I still smile when I think of my fun and free childhood, because I wouldn’t have wanted to grow up any other way.

WHAT I WANTED TO BE WHEN I GREW UP

When I was really young, what I wanted to be when I grew up changed all the time. My first dream was that I would work as a waitress at an old-fashioned diner—but only if I could ride around on roller skates while giving people their milkshakes. I’m not kidding, it was a serious dream of mine! I often thought about how I could get that job. I just liked the vibe of it, rolling around on my skates and making people happy.

Then, I wanted to be an accountant for a while, but that was a short-lived fantasy that ended when I found out what an accountant was.

I also wanted to be a fashion designer. You know when you used to play dress up? Well, in my version of that game I was a fashion designer and I designed all the clothes I was wearing. I loved the idea of making a conceptual idea into a reality, and that love of creativity plays a pretty significant role in my career now. And so, looking back on my childhood, it’s pretty funny that my favorite subject in school was science—especially the chemistry experiments. Although, who knows, maybe that was the beginning of my passion for experimenting with DIY projects.

Even though my ideas for what I wanted to be growing up kept changing, I knew one thing for sure: I wanted it to be different. I felt like I was destined to do something unexpected in life . . . but I just didn’t know what.

Keeping It Moving

We finally got a family computer when I was seven years old. At first, it didn’t have Internet, so we’d insert CDs to play dress-up games and Pet Shop. And then, of course, I had Hit Clips on a little key chain that I toted around with me at all times. It was this really tiny MP3 player that played songs off of these chunky memory cards. I remember I bought a Britney Spears Hit Clip—and I don’t even think those memory cards stored the full song, to be honest. I think it was like a minute, right? Compared to iPhones, it’s pathetic, but hey—at the time they seemed so awesome. I would listen to Britney, *NSYNC, and Backstreet Boys, and I’d steal my sister’s clips because she had more than I did. Walking around the playground, jamming out to Hit Clips, was definitely a thing. I thought I was so cool.

When I was eight, we moved out of Los Banos to a town called Dos Palos; and three years later, we moved back to Los Banos to a different house than the one we’d started in. What’s funny is that, even though we didn’t move far each time, I always thought moving a lot was normal because it’s all I knew. I had childhood friends who grew up their entire lives in the same home, but I was used to moving every few years. We also took a lot of family road trips up and down California, and I think changing neighborhoods and visiting different cities made me more open-minded. The way I saw it, if my state was that big, my country was even bigger, which meant the world was huge! Getting those small tastes of different places, even if only separated by a few miles, made me determined to see what else was out there.

Up until I was eight years old, my mom homeschooled both my sister and me. But when I reached third grade—just after we moved to Dos Palos—Brittany really wanted to go to public school to see what it was all about. I was given the choice, too, and because I was obsessed with copying everything my big sister did (that is, when she’d let me!) our parents sent us both to public school for the first time.

There I was, an awkward little kid—who, by the way, had just started wearing glasses for the very first time—starting school in the middle of the school year, among kids who’d been going to school together for years. Talk about feeling out of place! So yeah, I was petrified. My first day was overwhelming, to say the least. (I’m still eternally grateful for the little girl who talked to me that day, so I didn’t have to eat lunch completely alone.) Most days after that, I kept to myself, trying to learn the ropes by watching everyone. But I struggled that first year of public school, especially with my studies. I wasn’t used to normal classroom activities like speaking up in class or doing group projects. And because I was so used to doing work at my own pace at home, I found it hard to focus with distractions I wasn’t used to, like friends, acne, and boys. I only made two friends in school that first year.

Still, the experience helped break me out of my shell. Three years later, I took it even further when, in sixth grade, I tried cheerleading. I was a Pomerette, which meant the routines were all very dance-inspired, which I loved. We cheered at the Friday night football games. Every time I put on my cheer uniform, I felt a subtle but definitely noticeable shift; suddenly, I was a performer who had a job to do, so the second I stepped into the middle of that field for our dance, I left my insecurities behind and gave it my all.

Painfully Shy

When I say I was shy, by the way? Well, I was really shy. I’ll never forget when I was around ten and my sister had her friends over. I was in the living room with them but I wasn’t talking. (Quick shout out to Brittany here, though: Thanks for letting your little sis hang out with you! Well, at least near you.) I just sat there not saying anything because I was scared of saying the wrong thing—something they wouldn’t find cool or interesting or funny. Then, I finally said something and one of them goes, Oh my gosh! I didn’t know Bethany speaks! I’m serious; people thought I was mute.

My sister was the exact opposite. She’s always been really talkative. She played all the sports and had all the friends, so anyone who met us at the same time automatically labeled her as the outgoing one and me as the shy one. And because of that, I labeled myself: "Oh, right, I’m the shy one."

What I’ve learned is that people have a need for certainty; they want to know how to define not only things, but people, too. So once I was certain I was shy, that became my safe place and I just stuck with it. I’ve talked about this with a few other formerly shy people, and they all say the same thing: once you’re labeled as shy, it’s easier to just fit that mold instead of trying to break it. That said, easier doesn’t mean better. In many moments, I stayed quiet when I wanted to speak, kept my hand in my lap even when I knew the answer, and stuck to my quiet-as-a-mouse MO—even if I was missing out on something fun.

As I got older, being shut in that shy box started bothering me. So I began to ask myself why I was shy to begin with. Why I shut up in social situations. Why I was afraid of putting myself out there. And once I started asking myself those questions, I realized my biggest fear was that someone would think I was stupid, and so I felt like it was safer to not say anything than to say the wrong thing.

But I didn’t like how much I was isolating myself, so I came up with a plan: I decided I would make myself more outgoing. From then on, when my sister’s friends came over, I would look at the most outgoing person in the room and try to match his or her energy. If I was louder and more fun, they would have to like me, right?

But it wasn’t working; I wasn’t fitting in or feeling better about myself. So then I started wondering why. After all, I was being the most outgoing one in the room, so I should be happier, right? Wrong. Even though I talked the loudest, laughed the hardest, or told the most jokes, nothing had really changed because I was forcing it. And the more I pretended to be someone I wasn’t, the more drained I felt. Faking it was exhausting! While I was trying to show the funny side of myself, I wasn’t expressing that side in the most authentic, Bethany way possible. I felt like I was putting on a show, or playing a role, and my heart wasn’t in it. I wanted to be me—the silly, real, goofy, natural me—more than anything. I just needed to figure out how.

RANDOM ME FACT: I’M A LEFTIE

Yep, I’m a leftie, and boy did I hate it growing up. My family and most of the kids in school were all right-handed, so I hated being different. But there were other annoying things about it—and all the lefties out there will know what I’m talking about. When you write as a leftie, it’s more complicated, because you always smear whatever you just wrote, so I grew up always having inky blue pen smudges or metallic gray pencil marks on the side of my hand (and I have iffy handwriting to begin with, so combine the two and you get a handwritten disaster). And if I ever had to sit close beside someone who was a rightie? Forget it. We were constantly bumping elbows, which—hello!—is super-awkward. So over the years, I started using my right hand for as many things as possible, but when it comes to my writing, I’m still as leftie as it gets—and I have lots of terrible, smeared pieces of notebook paper to show for it.

Bullied by My Peers

One day, when I was eleven, I turned on the family computer and went to MySpace, and that’s when I saw an unfamiliar page titled Bethany Mota. I remember thinking, That’s not the profile picture I uploaded a few days ago. The photo didn’t match, because it wasn’t my page; someone had made a fake MySpace pretending

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