Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    LeanRx: Results May Vary
    LeanRx: Results May Vary
    LeanRx: Results May Vary
    Ebook20 pages18 minutes

    LeanRx: Results May Vary

    By Jordan Page

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    "LeanRx: Results May Vary" is a horrific and darkly satirical look into the United States' consumerism, greed, and political fairness vs. incorrectness through the eyes of a physically handicapped, homebound man during an outbreak of a once get-thin-fast super drug which turned into appetite boosting super virus. In a world where people are afraid of calling things as what they are in fear of being called politically unfair, can anyone survive the infectious disease causing famine, riots, theft, murder--even cannibalism?

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJordan Page
    Release dateMar 19, 2014
    LeanRx: Results May Vary

    Related to LeanRx

    Related ebooks

    Horror Fiction For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Exodus

      Sep 15, 2018

      My exodus occurred after years wandering the wilderness of my hometown. For bread to live, for bread to leave, I worked a part-time gig at the Oregonian’s downtown insert facility, stacking pallet after pallet of inky-ass newspapers. The day in quest

      15 min read

    • Article

      Naked Truths

      Nov 22, 2020

      Of course we had a row. You can’t, or I can’t, interview Paul Henry and not have a row. Somebody once took a picture of us glaring at each other in an Auckland bar, silently but furiously having a row, and put it on social media. It was a picture of

      8 min read

    • Article

      Why I Read True Crime

      Jan 24, 2018

      For years I have been unsuccessfully recommending true crime books to friends. The second you tell someone you’ve just read a mind-blowing book about Jeffrey Dahmer that they simply must read, they start to back away from you. The first rule of readi

      5 min read

    • Article

      On Our Hands

      Feb 10, 2024

      Ten months, two weeks, and one day ago, on a clear cold day in late October, I set my plastic cup of cocoa down carefully on the Formica tabletop by the window of the ReddiStop, lowered myself to the bench, pulled off my windbreaker, and stuck my can

      19 min read

    • Article

      The Bullet in My Arm

      Sep 6, 2018

      The Bullet in My Arm
      13 min read

    • Article

      Notes From The Struggle

      Nov 10, 2022

      “That’s the thing,” my friend Tomas said. “They always get it wrong. Every time, they get it wrong. They always get the wrong people. Once we get out of this,” he spread his arms and shook his head, as if to say—This colossal fuck-fest of a mess we’v

      15 min read

    • Article

      Letter to My Son

      Jul 4, 2015

      Letter to My Son
      30 min read

    • Article

      The Lady Killers

      Apr 15, 2020

      The Lady Killers
      8 min read

    • Article

      On Our Hands

      Apr 10, 2021

      Ten months, two weeks, and one day ago, on a clear cold day in late October, I set my plastic cup of cocoa down carefully on the Formica tabletop by the window of the ReddiStop, lowered myself to the bench, pulled off my windbreaker, and stuck my can

      19 min read

    • Article

      When Life Bites

      Sep 14, 2020

      When Life Bites
      6 min read

    • Article

      Gory Stories

      Jun 5, 2022

      Gory Stories
      4 min read

    • Article

      Woman About Town

      May 26, 2022

      FOR THE PAST YEAR, I’ve been writing a book about women and fame in the noughties. It’s a compellingly strange decade to look back on. At the time, I was highly prone to paroting the utopianism of tech libertarians — the internet would make everythin

      4 min read

    • Article

      Dave Barry 2020

      Sep 20, 2019

      Dave Barry 2020
      12 min read

    • Article

      ‘Trump Ruined Bad Taste’

      Jun 10, 2022

      ‘Trump Ruined Bad Taste’
      7 min read

    • Article

      The Book of Loki

      Mar 12, 2018

      The Book of Loki
      20 min read

    • Article

      Are You Jewish?

      Sep 1, 2022

      Are You Jewish?
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for LeanRx

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      LeanRx - Jordan Page

      PART I:

      RESULTS MAY VARY

      On November 15th, 2014, I saw Mrs. Granger looking for food in my garbage after dark; it wasn’t the first time or the last. She didn’t find any because I don’t waste food nowadays. But, on a positive note: she weighs a little over three-hundred pounds now. That’s good. She’s finally getting her weight under control.

      When she realized she wouldn’t even find a crumb of bread, she sort of shambled away like a wounded walrus with a spear through its side. It was forty-degrees outside in Mellow Hills—that’s our subdivision—but she wore nothing but an undersized pink summer dress that stuck tightly to her rotund, lumpy body like some kind of grotesque-looking latex.

      At least she was polite when she dug through our trash; she minded our wishes and didn’t throw about our garbage like a rabid animal. Not anymore.

      You see, a few weeks ago, all of us who hadn’t taken LeanRx, or contracted it secondhand (oh boy, it’s cigarettes all over again), had a little chat over at the Granger household. We wore those cheap little respiratory masks you buy at Wal-Mart or drugstores, because we’re not stupid (although recently experts said they weren’t that safe anyway), and Bill secretly hid a .45 in his pants at the waist—you know, just in case. That’s when we all politely confronted her with her husband in the room;

      "if you’re going to dig through our garbage at night, then do it more discreetly. And don’t

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1