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    How To Live With A Neurotic Dog
    How To Live With A Neurotic Dog
    How To Live With A Neurotic Dog
    Ebook154 pages59 minutes

    How To Live With A Neurotic Dog

    By Stephen Baker

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    About this ebook

    “The Canine population of the United States is about 25 million. Out of this, about 25 million can be classified as neurotic—a conservative estimate.
    “For the millions of dog-owners seeking a solution to this distressing problem—”

    Faced with the complications and contradictions of modern society, today’s dog becomes a neurotic. At every turn, his prime life forces—the need to eat and sleep—are thwarted. Instinct pushes him towards satisfying this hunger; sleep is necessary to infuse him with sufficient strength to get up and eat several times a day. (The average dog may require about 24 hours rest a day.) But environmental factors prevent him from satisfying these desires.

    Stephen Baker, in this entertaining and delightfully fresh book, offers new help for the perplexed pooch owner. There are chapters on training, feeding and—most important—dressing a neurotic dog. You’ll read about traveling with your pet...and what you can do to eliminate sibling rivalry between dog and your baby. There is a chapter on how to psychoanalyze your dog at home, complete with charts and test batteries. You may not learn a thing, but you’ll be vastly amused.

    Sly and witty drawings, skillfully done by Eric Gurney, serve to complement and clarify the text that will provide every reader (dog lover or not) with a great deal of dog food for thought.
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherHauraki Publishing
    Release dateNov 6, 2015
    ISBN9781786256720
    How To Live With A Neurotic Dog
    Author

    Stephen Baker

    Stephen Baker is author of The Numerati (Houghton Mifflin, 2008) Final Jeopardy (2011), and the dystopian novels, Dark Site and The Boost (Tor Books, 2014). For ten years, Baker was a  technology writer in Paris and New York for BusinessWeek magazine. He worked earlier as a journalist in Mexico City, Caracas, and El Paso, TX. He was born outside Philadelphia and lives in Montclair, NJ >

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    3/5

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    • 3/5
      A short, fun book to read and apply it's particular points to your favorite four pawed friend.
    • 3/5
      Not as funny as one would hope, but true thoughts about life with the top dogs.

    Book preview

    How To Live With A Neurotic Dog - Stephen Baker

    This edition is published by PICKLE PARTNERS PUBLISHING—www.picklepartnerspublishing.com

    To join our mailing list for new titles or for issues with our books – picklepublishing@gmail.com

    Or on Facebook

    Text originally published in 1960 under the same title.

    © Pickle Partners Publishing 2015, all rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmitted by any means, electrical, mechanical or otherwise without the written permission of the copyright holder.

    Publisher’s Note

    Although in most cases we have retained the Author’s original spelling and grammar to authentically reproduce the work of the Author and the original intent of such material, some additional notes and clarifications have been added for the modern reader’s benefit.

    We have also made every effort to include all maps and illustrations of the original edition the limitations of formatting do not allow of including larger maps, we will upload as many of these maps as possible.

    HOW TO LIVE WITH A NEUROTIC DOG

    BY

    STEPHEN BAKER

    Illustrated by Eric Gurney

    TABLE OF CONTENTS

    Contents

    TABLE OF CONTENTS 5

    DEDICATION 6

    CHAPTER 1—WHAT MAKES THE DOG NEUROTIC 7

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 1 21

    CHAPTER 2—TRAINING THE NEUROTIC DOG 22

    1. THE NO COMMAND 25

    2. MAKING YOUR DOG SIT 25

    3. TRAINING THE DOG TO HEEL 28

    4. TEACHING THE DOWN COMMAND 30

    5. GIVING THE COME LESSON TO YOUR DOG 30

    6. HOUSEBREAKING 31

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 2 37

    CHAPTER 3—SLEEPING HABITS OF THE NEUROTIC DOG 38

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 3 50

    CHAPTER 4—HOW TO DRESS AND GROOM THE NEUROTIC DOG 51

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 4 64

    CHAPTER 5—TRAVELING WITH THE NEUROTIC DOG 65

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 5 77

    CHAPTER 6—FEEDING THE NEUROTIC DOG 78

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 6 87

    CHAPTER 7—THE NEUROTIC DOG VS. BABY 88

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 7 97

    CHAPTER 8—ANALYZING THE NEUROTIC DOG AT HOME 98

    SUMMARY OF CHAPTER 8 115

    CHAPTER 9—CAN THE NEUROTIC DOG BE CURED? 116

    ABOUT THE AUTHOR 117

    ABOUT THE ILLUSTRATOR 117

    REQUEST FROM THE PUBLISHER 119

    DEDICATION

    To Bobo—a dachshund—one of the most outstanding neurotic personalities of our time

    CHAPTER 1—WHAT MAKES THE DOG NEUROTIC

    We must, first of all, try to understand the neurotic dog. Our understanding is the key to his happiness, if not our own.

    There is a reason for everything a dog does. In his opinion, these reasons are valid, whether we humans think so or not. If, for example, he takes the breast of fried chicken from the dining room table before we are able to eat it, there is a reason for that. A very good reason. He’s hungry.

    A great many dogs are neurotic, especially in this country. The canine population of the United States is about 25 million. Out of this, about 25 million can be classified as neurotic—a conservative estimate.

    As a matter of fact, psychiatrists agree that neurosis among dogs is on the increase. More and more, dog owners are asking for psychiatric treatment.

    Today’s dog lives under more pressure than ever before in history. His schedule is demanding; chores confront him every minute of the day. The heavy strain put on the modern dog causes many to crack up.

    Here is a typical schedule of the average dog of today.

    We should remember that the little puppy, when he first enters the

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