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    My Math Teacher is a Vampire
    My Math Teacher is a Vampire
    My Math Teacher is a Vampire
    Ebook133 pages2 hours

    My Math Teacher is a Vampire

    By Duane L. Ostler

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    Book 2 of 'The Stewards of Light' series, and sequel to 'My Science Teacher is a Wizard.' Blake Drywater and his fellow unfortunate students at Millard Fillmore Middle School once more find themselves facing an unexpected creature in one of their classes. Because of a sudden 'neck disorder' suffered by their math teacher, Blake and his classmates receive a chilling substitute. His name is Mr. Coagulate, who has a strange fascination with blood and dreams.
    Meanwhile Blake's former science teacher, Mr. Marlin, uses his wizard skills to annoyingly turn himself into objects in Blake's classroom--objects that talk to Blake, but which no one else can hear. Mr. Marlin warns Blake that his substitute math teacher is actually a vampire, determined to enslave Blake and use him as an unwilling warrior in the battlefield of vampire nightmares. And in spite of Blake's best efforts to stay out of such a horrible place, he unwillingly finds himself in the midst of the vampire battle one night, where he learns that nothing ever works out the way it should.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDuane L. Ostler
    Release dateDec 27, 2014
    ISBN9781310887291
    My Math Teacher is a Vampire
    Author

    Duane L. Ostler

    Duane L. Ostler was raised in Southern Idaho, and has lived in Australia, Mexico, Brazil, China, Utah, the big Island of Hawaii, and—most foreign of all—New Jersey. He practiced law for over 10 years and has a PhD in legal history. He and his wife have five children and two cats.

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      Book preview

      My Math Teacher is a Vampire - Duane L. Ostler

      MY MATH TEACHER IS A VAMPIRE

      Book 2 in the 'Stewards of Light' series, and sequel to 'My Science Teacher is a Wizard'

      Published on Smashwords by Duane L. Ostler

      Copyright 2014 Duane L. Ostler

      All rights reserved. This book may not be reproduced, copied or distributed without the express permission of the author. If you would like to share this book with someone, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it or have it purchased for you, please purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the work of this author

      Cover art: Bela Lugosi from the 1931 film 'Dracula'

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      CHAPTER 1 - The Man with the Bus Schedule

      CHAPTER 2 - A Very Unusual Pencil

      CHAPTER 3 - No Blood in his Veins

      CHAPTER 4 - A Friend and a Dream

      CHAPTER 5 - A Game of Cat and Mouse

      CHAPTER 6 - Nearly Bitten!

      CHAPTER 7 - Some Very Strange Collections

      CHAPTER 8 - The Flight of Two Bats

      CHAPTER 9 - The Ring

      CHAPTER 10 - I'm Type O!

      CHAPTER 11 - The Sleepover

      CHAPTER 12 - A Bite on the Neck

      CHAPTER 13 - The Dream Battlefield

      CHAPTER 14 - An Iron Neck

      CHAPTER 15 - An Unexpected Friendship

      CHAPTER 16 - The Promise of Peaceful Dreams

      Sneak Peak from book 3 of the Stewards of Light series - Chapter 1 of My History Teacher is a Leprechaun

      The Stewards of Light Series - List of Titles

      CHAPTER 1 - The Man with the Bus Schedule

      I had a whopper of a black eye. It was the purple/black kind that gets all puffy and looks kind of like a cheese pizza that was left in the oven too long. It bulged one whole side of my face so I could barely see out of the slit between swollen folds of black skin.

      In short, it was the sort of black eye to be proud of, and to show off to everyone but your mother.

      The only problem was, it hurt like the dickens. I fingered the eye tenderly as I walked through the park toward home after school. A small, white bird that had been pecking at some seeds looked up at me as I did so. Ouch! I cried, causing the bird to flutter away. It then start squawking at me angrily. Even the slightest touch of my eye brought excruciating pain.

      Hi, Blake! came an annoyingly cheerful voice from behind me. Turning, my heart sank at the sight of gossipy Mary Ellen Paul and her new bucktoothed friend Frieda Mult. Hi, Mary Ellen, I grumbled in a tone of voice that clearly said Get lost!

      Ooh! cried Mary Ellen. What happened to your eye? While Mary Ellen seemed concerned, I noticed that Frieda smiled in pleasure at the ugly sight.

      It's nothing, I said, with a casual wave of my hand. Before I could stop her, Mary Ellen reached out and touched it.

      Don't do that!! I yelled, my face turning white in pain. Mary Ellen backed off with a frown, but Frieda's smile grew even wider. It hurts! Putting my hand to my eye, I was surprised when I pulled it away to see a small spot of blood on my fingers. See that? I said with a frown. It's bleeding!

      Well, why don't you go DO something about it, then? asked Mary Ellen hotly. That makes more sense than standing around, trying to show it off!

      I'm not showing it off, I cried. I was going home to do something about it!

      Who gave it to you, anyway? asked Mary Ellen curiously.

      Donny Poindexter, I grumbled, scowling. Even saying the name made me flinch. Ugly, mean, built like a tank, and my worst enemy for as long as I could remember, Donny Poindexter was like a massive cold sore in your mouth that never went away. It was hard to image how anyone could hate someone as much as Donny hated me.

      Except for the dream. At the start of the school year, I'd had the strangest dream in which Poindexter had incredibly started to become my friend. In the dream, I had a wizard science teacher named Mr. Marlin, who turned the whole class into worms one day and roaches the next. Then the dream turned weird, and I had been tricked into drinking a wizard potion that made me super powerful, after which I started destroying things. But finally I woke up and found it was all a dream and Poindexter was meaner to me than ever.

      It's your own fault for not standing up to him, said Mary Ellen with a scowl. All bullies are cowards!

      Not Poindexter! I replied. Call him a coward and he's likely to break through your teeth with his fist, so he can yank out your tonsils.

      Mary Ellen raised an eyebrow. So, is that why you got the black eye? Because you called him a coward? Frieda's smile broadened in hope that I would tell them all the gory details.

      No, I said, suddenly looking down at the grass in embarrassment. He said he didn't like me standing in his shadow, and then let me have it.

      The silly things you boys do to each other, said Mary Ellen with a dismissive toss of her head. Frieda and I are on our way home to make pickle brownies. Wanna come?

      At my look of sheer horror, Mary Ellen said simply, Suit yourself, then. She and Frieda trounced up the sidewalk in a way that reminded me of mindless mosquitoes.

      I sat down heavily on a park bench. School was bad enough without people like Mary Ellen Paul to grate on my nerves. Just about everything about it was bad--the boring classes, Poindexter, disgusting lunches, Poindexter, endless homework, Poindexter, bad grades no matter how hard I worked, Poindexter. I sighed heavily.

      You really should try harder to contain your enthusiasm for life, came a voice to my left. Your bubbling excitement might cause some of us old geezers to experience heart failure.

      I swung around to stare at the person who had spoken. Mr. Marlin! I cried. It was the science teacher from my dream! This was impossible! He was sitting next to me on the park bench, holding a bus schedule as if he had been reading it intensely. Only he was holding it upside down.

      Correction, said the old man, his long, grey beard wobbling like a yoyo with each word he spoke. My name is Mr. Snulkbarf, as I seem to recall telling you once before in this park. And if I remember correctly, you admitted that any resemblance to my being your science teacher was a sheer intentional coincidence that obviously never happened precisely because it could not be avoided. Mr. Marlin smiled at me, while putting down the bus schedule.

      I squinched my good eye, trying hard to understand what he had just said.

      I can see by your bored expression that you think it's time to politely look at your watch, then say you have to leave, said Mr. Marlin. However, I have some important news for you that will undoubtedly stick in your mind as tightly as last night's homework. Tomorrow, you are going to have a new math teacher.

      Huh? I responded, my slow mind still struggling to catch up. How do you know that? And why would Mr. Harris leave? He's been there so long he taught my dad when he was a kid! And how can I even be talking to you? You're nothing but a person I met in a dream once!

      Mr. Marlin spread his hands wide, while looking up at the sky. Ah, what is a dream! he said dramatically. Isn't it just reality filmed in black and white, except when you eat in a dream you still wake up hungry? He looked at me as if he had just said something profound.

      As for your math teacher, he continued, let's just say I have my sources, and they all confirm that as of tomorrow, Mr. Harris--to his surprise--will find himself on extended leave. Although he will not be going to spend a week floating leisurely on his back across the fowl smelling Great Salt Lake, as he has long dreamed of doing.

      Who will my new teacher be? I asked curiously.

      A kindly, gentle fellow who has an odd obsession about blood and dreams, replied Mr. Marlin with a smile.

      Dreams? I said in surprise, my stomach lurching slightly. You mean, like the dream I had?

      Precisely, said Mr. Marlin. And knowing how talkative you are, and how much you love sharing your fascinating dream with others, I have no doubt you will be wise enough to not follow my advice to tell him all about it!

      I screwed up my good eye again, my feeble mind again trying to catch up with what Mr. Marlin had just said.

      Do you mind if I come with you? asked Mr. Marlin unexpectedly.

      To school? I asked in surprise.

      Yes, said Mr. Marlin. I was sharp enough in my day to succeed at flunking English, math and history all at the same time--quite an accomplishment, since a triple flunker is not easy to achieve. So I'm sure I can be of tremendous help to you.

      Well ... I said, rubbing my chin, while thinking I was on the verge of being a triple flunker myself, I guess you can come. But won't it look funny, an old guy like you coming into my classes?

      No funnier than that purple beaked Marmaleek eating the mirror off that car over there, said Mr. Marlin, pointing. I turned quickly to look, but saw nothing but a sparrow pecking at the grass. Turning back, I was astounded to see that Mr. Marlin had completely disappeared!

      Mr. Marlin? I called, looking all around. Mr. Snulkbarf? Where are you? There was no answer.

      I shook my head as if to clear it from a fog. Had I been dreaming again? In the weeks since my former dream which had seemed so real, I had become more and more convinced that it was too bizarre and impossible to have actually occurred, so it must have been a dream. In those early days I'd sometimes woken up at night in a cold sweat, fearful that it just might have been true. But as time passed, I came to

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