Isaac and Margarita (“Shpoler Zeide”)

Isaac and Margarita

(Shpoler Zeide)

by Yefim Galperin

Mistery

Artist – Ilya Shenker

Translation - Nina Genn

Design and Computer imposition – Aleksander Minz

Editors – Talia Lavin, Elizabeth Swanson

All rights reserved by U.S. Copyright Office. 

US PA 1-777-047

Foreword

I'm flying right out! But here's my advice to you, you schmuck and schlimazel, kill yourself off before I get there, so tearing you into pieces won’t be added to my many sins!

This phone conversation between Paris and the small Ukrainian village of Shpola, accurately recorded by the Ukrainian KGB and the heads of the Ukrainian mafia, was, in fact, so chock-full of very colorful Yiddish expressions, it required combing Kiev for the few remaining old Jewish bookworms to decode it.

What’s this about?! Of course it’s all about love!

Usually, the term love refers to the relationship between two people, whether of the opposite sex or the same sex, whether young or not very young, youthful or old. All that the reader can find in this book.  But it is also, perhaps even more so, about embracing love as Grace.

Love for all things, which materialists see in the natural world, and which believers attribute to the Almighty. This includes the love of parents for children and children for parents, the love of the strong for the weak, the kind for the lonely…  Dostoevsky misinterpreted God’s intentions! It’s not beauty that will save the world. Only Love can do that!

Oh, come on, the reader will say. Have you seen much love like that in our cruel world?!

No one is claiming that such love is to be found always and everywhere – and yet…

It can be found here and there.  In this terribly pragmatic world, what would you call the space in which such an outpouring of love occurs? Right! An anomaly!

And Shpoler Zeide, if it means something to you.

Given that contemporary readers tend to be glued more to a screen and perceive reality through media other than the written word, I have chosen to craft this text like a screenplay, and hope that my readers will get these takes without the standard descriptions of nature or the twitching eyebrow wiggles between the heroes and heroines.

I chose a genre that has been popular for two thousand years – the mystery.

To spare the reader a Wikipedia search, here is the definition of mystery: "Mystery (from the Greek mysterion) - one of the genres of European medieval theater, linked with religion and descriptions of miracles. The plot of a mystery was taken from religious sources and accompanied by various comic scenes from real life."

So, here is our Mystery. With two chorales, dances, and a wedding.

Where will it happen? South Africa, USA, France, and most importantly of all, Ukraine!

Content

Foreword

Cast of Characters

Prologue

Visitors

Grace

Expectations

Miracle

The Epilogue

Cast of Characters

Margarita, or Rita, age 19.

A beautiful, highly intelligent, strong-willed, and spirited young woman. Granddaughter of Grandpa Hritsko and Grandma Parasya. She is a student at a medical college and is studying to become a nurse. A materialist.

Grandpa Hritsko, age 74.

A gray-haired old man of less than average height. He used to be an agronomist but is now retired. Because he doesn’t enjoy staying at home and twiddling his thumbs, he got a job as a manager at the local rural hotel. He is Margarita’s grandfather and the sheriff’s uncle. A man who has a soul.

Grandma Parasya, age 70.

A pleasant-looking elderly woman. Grandpa Hritsko’s wife and Margarita’s grandmother. As it should be, she is wise in understanding, but lacking in words.

Isaac, age 25.

A Hasidic Jew, tall and well-built.  Of a fair countenance and handsome, just like King David. Grandson of billionaire, Finkelstein.  Founder and owner of a successful high-tech startup.  Superior intelligence and an analytical mind, but his soul has not yet been awakened.

Finkelstein, 70 years old.

A gray-haired old man of less than average height. A black hat. A long black overcoat. And a beard. Of course, he’s a Hasidic Jew. Isaac’s loving grandfather. A billionaire, who made a fortune in the diamond trade. His business often puts him in touch with the world’s most powerful elites – Presidents, Prime Ministers, sheikhs and top bankers. A very tough and pragmatic individual. A shark.

Gorokhovsky, 50 years old.

The biggest shvitzer from Finkelstein’s Hasidic escort, who accompany the billionaire in his world travel. Admires Hasidic stories and legends. Has a big family and little money. Energetic and an adventurer, as any Jew.

Gutman, 55 years old.

A complete opposite of Reb Gorokhovsky. Listless and pudgy, and, most importantly, doesn’t say much. True, he sings whenever it’s appropriate, and his singing is quite good.

Shpoler Zeide, 205 years old.

A Tzadik. A skinny little old man with a mane of white hair, a large head, and a beard. He has remarkable glowing eyes. A Jewish sage who is never in a hurry. His miracles are well-conceived and whimsical.

Shlyema Rosenberg, 70 years old.

Finkelstein’s childhood friend. A millionaire.

Mama Riva, 40 years old.

Rosenberg’s daughter-in-law.

Rebecca, or Becky, 20 years old.

Shlyema Rosenberg’s granddaughter and Riva’s daughter. A beautiful girl.

Sheriff  Nechiporenko, 40 years old.

A large, powerfully-built guy. A valiant paratrooper during the Soviet Union’s invasion in Afghanistan. As the only policeman in the village, he is charged with the duty of preventing crime and maintaining peace and order, which, in this rural environment, usually means stopping fights between neighbors and rowdy family disagreements.

Galya, the sheriff’s wife, 35 years old.

Raisa, or Raya, the sheriff’s daughter, 18 years old

An attractive Ukrainian girl.

Mechanic Peter Onischenko, 40 years old.

A cheerful, jovial Ukrainian. As a professional farm machine operator, he is qualified to drive any of the machines used in the village, among them the tractor, harvester, mower, bulldozer, and crane. An impractical schemer, constantly building castles in the air.

Marussia, the mechanic’s wife, 40 years old.

Eleanor, the mechanic’s daughter, 20 years old.

An attractive Ukrainian girl.

Mechanic’s son, 10 years old.

Mikola, mechanic’s assistant, 18 years old.

An honest, kind, and naïve fellow, who has been hopelessly in love with the mechanic’s daughter since childhood.

Valentina Rudenko, chicken farm manager, 37 years old.

A plump female with boundless energy. She is a single mother very attached to her daughter. As the plot unfolds, she joins the contest of brides, trying to secure her daughter’s happiness.

Village Mayor Borsyuk, 50 years old.

As head of the village administration, the major is responsible for the poultry and dairy farms (the cows themselves and the milk production) and also for agriculture (the corn, wheat, and barley fields, and apple orchards).

George Knut (the last name means whip in Russian), 33 years old.

Works at the poultry farm. Has the reputation of an anarchist in the village. A fan of American movies. Married and divorced multiple times and currently a bachelor, he is fond of freedom and vodka chased with beer.

Fedka, electrician, 27 years old.

An equal proponent of freedom and lover of vodka, but not beer. Was married just twice and is presently divorced. Always eager to pursue an adventure, not so much for lucrative reasons, but simply because he enjoys making a fuss.

Zolotarenko, 40 years old.

English teacher at the local school. Single mother. She joins the contest of brides, trying to secure her daughter’s happiness.

Village centenarian, (also called the decrepit old man), approximately 105 years old.

The oldest resident in the district and the mechanic’s great-grandfather. He actually lived under the Russian Tsar, and his younger years coincided with the time of the Bolshevik revolution, the exploits of Makhno’s anarchist army, Petliura’s pogroms and Soviet collectivization. He lived through many other social upheavals and political reforms as well.

General Kosolapov, 60 years old.

Honored member of the KGB, presently directs one of the agencies of the Ukrainian Security Service. He is loud, opinionated, and an intrigue expert.

Colonel Golodny (the name means hungry in Russian), 50 years old.

Very diligent. Specializes in surveillance work. A solid materialist.

Lieutenant Plotkin, 26 years old.

A shy, studious young man, who knows a dozen languages ​​and suffers from an inferiority complex.

Mafia boss Denisenko, 70 years old.

The Godfather, the Ukrainian mafia’s don. Formerly, one of the top brass in the Soviet Communist Party.  A wise, deliberate man, always with a kind smile on his face. A wolf.

Iron Lady Julia Sviridovna, 50 years old.

A buxom good-looking woman agreeable in every respect. A typical top-level appointee of the Soviet-era Communist Party, she adapted perfectly to post-Soviet conditions.

Diana, 23 years old.

Beautiful, young, and sexy with smooth, sly gestures. The Godfather’s current intern – a woman of great promise. A nasty piece of work.

Bronya Markovna Morgenshvitzer, 75 years old.

Old man Rabinovich, 75 years old.

These translators represent the older generation of Yiddish-speaking Jews belonging to the Kiev intelligentsia.

Simon Stern, 30 years old.

A Hasidic Jew and a Harvard graduate. Presently head of the analytical department of billionaire, Finkelstein’s, diamond company. Also, the billionaire’s personal secretary.

Mack O’Kinley, 30 years old.

A spiffy, composed Irishman, a Harvard graduate. Works as a diamond market analyst.

Rav Zaltsman, 55 years old.

A Hasidic Jew and the head of a yeshiva.

The driver, 27 years old.

An obliging but harebrained young man.

Big, 28 years old.

Shorty, 28 years old.

Security officers from the Private Security Bureau Dnipro. Former paratroopers.

Other staff of the Ukrainian Security Service, Mafia thugs, bodyguards, South African guard of honor,

Attractive Ukrainian girls – daughters of the villagers anticipating of a good match and marital bliss.

Postal clerk, villagers, bus passengers, traffic police inspector,  doctor and paramedic with the ambulance service,

Presidents, Prime Ministers, Royals, and Sheikhs.

Animals

A breeding bull, chickens, geese, cows, pigs, and horses.

Grandpa Hritsko’s dog named Polkanand other dogs in the village.

Prologue

As it is appropriate for any mystery, everything begins with thunder, lightning, and loud drumbeats, and is blessed and sanctified by prayer.

South Africa--Johannesburg. Residence of the South African President. Evening.

A torrential downpour of rain. The Presidential Palace is surrounded by local security forces. We hear the beating of drums and the sound of harsh, guttural commands. A white limousine and an escort of motorcyclists pull up. They are waiting for an important guest to come out of the palace. A mix of languages can be heard in the headphones of the security staff, including English, Afrikaans, and Zulu. Staff, alert! Everyone listen up! The President’s meeting with his high-profile guest is over. Assume state of readiness ‘B’. The palace gates are opened. All the cross streets along the route of the motorcade are cordoned off.

Johannesburg International Airport, South Africa. Torrential rain. Evening.

The white limousine drives through the heavy rain directly to the plane.

Dark-skinned police officers with guns at the ready run to the right and left of the limo. They are wearing uniforms and white knee socks. A bodyguard is holding an umbrella over the door as it opens. The honor guard, made up of six-and-a-half-foot tall state troopers, snaps to attention on command.

A gray-haired old man of less than average height steps out of the car. A black hat. A long black overcoat. And a beard. Of course, he is a Hasidic Jew.¹ This is Reb Boruch Finkelstein, an international diamond tycoon and a billionaire.

The tall figure of the country’s black President appears next to him. The Hasid, accompanied by the President, walks past the assembled honor guard, which performs all the drill commands required by protocol, ignoring the pouring rain.

The local aircraft technicians are bustling by the plane.

The Irishman, Mack O'Kinley, stands next to the gangway under a large umbrella, watching the ceremony. He is dressed immaculately, as is appropriate for a gentleman. There is yet another Hasidic Jew standing by the door of the plane: as is to be expected, he is wearing a hat and long black overcoat and has a beard. Not surprisingly, he is one of those people who know all the answers. This is Reb Gorokhovsky.

Does this rain ever end? he asks, to the whole gathered crowd. I remember  it rained cats and dogs when we were here the last time, too!

Mack O'Kinley looks at Gorokhovsky, who returns his gaze. Both try to assess each other’s worth.

The crew lowers the ramp and the tycoon’s limo drives into the