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    Girl in My Head
    Girl in My Head
    Girl in My Head
    Ebook84 pages50 minutes

    Girl in My Head

    By Jaclynn Holts

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    About this ebook

    Who is that girl? What is her story? Jaclynn Holts gives us a colorful view inside the mind of a girl who was raised in the middle of a familiar struggle for many women today. Girl in My Head is a collection of thoughts , ideas, and poetry organized by date and time walking us through the experiences and struggles on the road to maturity. This book is 25 years in the making, acting as an autobiographical collection that will captivate it's reader, and provide support and comfort to anyone who has been subject to abuse or adversity in their adolescence. This book is Jaclynn's very first self publication, and is intended to raise awareness and serve as a platform for connection and for building of a future foundation that will help women who struggle with similar situations. Full of flowing memoirs, raging rants, blistering opinion, and a craft of writing that is absolutely unadulterated. Girl in My Head will enchant minds and provoke thoughts and emotions to anyone who decides to turn the pages.

    "You have got to live life for yourself because you are here for yourself. You need to say... I AM THE SHIT!"
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateMar 1, 2014
    ISBN9781483531632
    Girl in My Head

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      Book preview

      Girl in My Head - Jaclynn Holts

      book.

      It all started on...

           August 30th 1988, at a time in the day that apparently neither one of my parents remembered. Trust me I have asked them a million times what time I was born because I want to find out all the details of my birth chart. How can I live without those details?! I really want to understand my emotions a lot better than I do. So anyways, back to my point. This wee little girl was born, Jaclynn Tracy Holts. Me! I was born to an insane mother and alcoholic/drug abusing father in Whittier, CA. I have 2 older sisters; Julie Lynn Holts who is 5 years older than me and has the most beautiful brown eyes that can melt any soul. The second half of me is Joy Lynn Holts who is 10 years older than me and when I say that she is a living angel, she is. End of story. So anyway, I was born and the excitement lasted about 8 months. There is a saying, what is it? All good things come to an end? Well, that is what happened in my story. The puppy love stage wore off and the adults started to realize that although babies are cute, they do not fix everything. Three times a charm? I think not.  Of course, a woman can never leave a man and keep the drama at the curb so she definitely proved a point. My mother took all of our furniture, sold it and left us bare. It was on Mother’s day that my Mother made a point that motherhood was not for her. I was too young to understand why she left us and honestly I was too young to care. I didn’t see my mother again till I was 5 years old. There would be times she would promise to come see us, and we would get so excited! The day would turn into night and we had to accept that she wasn’t actually ever going to come. So I saw her maybe 3 times till I was age 10, and that was only because she started dating someone. As I got older I was a lot more inquisitive and asked her why she left my father. The reason she told me she left him was because he would beat the shit out of her. Honestly this is a whole other novel but while I am on the subject, she was being checked in and out of mental institutions so I am not sure he was the only problem here.

           Now, my sisters and I were being raised alone by our father whom beat the shit out of his wife…. Wonderful! Obviously my sisters would have to be in school and my father needed help so he got me a nanny and she stayed in my life till I was about 6 years old. My father, Joy, Julie and I were a pretty tight nit family and we spent a lot of time with our extended family. My weekends with my sisters usually would consist of sleepovers with my Nana and Papa or sleepovers and magic shows with my Grandma Eve and whichever one of my Aunts and Uncles kids would be at her house. Some of my best memories were the times I spent with my grandparents. While all of this sounds like a great single father doing the best he can to give his daughters a proper life, there was still some darkness that only lingered in our house. My father was what I call a functioning alcoholic, I always remember a bottle of something under the drivers seat of the car. There would be nights that he would go out on his motorcycle and come home completely drunk or injured. The drunk nights usually ended with  my oldest sister Joy getting yelled at and abused and maybe locked in the garage. I was too young to fully understand how horrible this was, I just knew that it was hurting me that my sister was being hurt. On the other hand I didn’t mind the nights that my father would come home injured. These were the nights I prayed for because it meant he would get

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