Apathy
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About this ebook
This book is a new experiment to highlight the changing values of life and loss of feelings and emotions due to which our old are suffering the most. through this book I have brought the life of a man and show how time changes his life from a soldier to the state of Apathy. this is a new experiment and very good to read and get some inspiration. this book is good for younger generation in particular and older people in general.
Shakil Baliyavi, Sr
born in east of north India and graduated in engineering from the state of rajasthan, I have keen interest in writing poetry, science fiction and short stories. having experience of many places on the globe i have great understanding of people across the globe.
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Apathy - Shakil Baliyavi, Sr
Apathy
Shakil Baliyavi
Copyright 2014 Shakil Baliyavi
Smashwords Edition
Foreword: This book is an effort to bring about the pain felt by old aged people in their fag end of life. I have tried to elaborate the changing life values and feelings in this occult and materialistic world. This book is a good read for youngsters and for the old as well. I have tried a totally new experiment choosing a unique method to describe the events in the life of the Main character of this story. Hope readers will appreciate my work and encourage me to give more readable and enjoyable material in future, Thanks!
The beautiful Days
Carlos was a name that many exclaimed; he never feared to stir the hornets’ nest and never feared to put his hand in lion’s den. He was a man of grit and courage. He always coughed sorrows up and inspired his three children to aspire in this life and become one to be appreciated by all. He is eighty five now and here in the old age house he often stands in front of the mirror and speaks for hours.
Louse trousers torn shirt and beard and moustache growing like bushes in the desert, face filled with wrinkles and scars of the past skirmishes, of life. Though he was a fighter struggler and inspiration for many is now caged in the room allotted to him with every facility. Doctors come for routine check but he abuses them away and never allows cleaners to enter his room. His friend is only the big sized mirror hanging on the wall and when he is in senses he stands in front of the mirror and chats, laughs and often cries.
He has seen thousands of sun rise and set, witnessed many cloud bursts and rains, seen many seasons come and go, his eyes still could speculate the stormy tides of the sea. Many storms and tornados are passed and he survived. Often he was caught in swirling whirl pool and came out safe. His eyes have the entire story inside the retina; mind is turned to child’s age as often in old age happens. He is suffering from sugar depression and all sort of disease which can exist on the Earth. But he refuses to take any medicine. He says I am bloody a ghost now why do I need your medicines.
He loved his children and spent his entire earning on them. They are now blessed and doing well in this life, they rejected Carlos for being not useful and needing special care. The old age house was the place where he landed. When he entered here he was quite normal and he was liked by people here. He often used to speak and chat with people and cut jokes. But soon in a few months his mind got a jerk. He was fed up with the life here and same food every day. Slowly but surely, He was pushed to isolation. And he often used to live closed door. The other inmates were little surprised by his behaviour but they thought the old age is a mystery by itself and there is no surprise the way Carlos acted.
Carlos room is like a museum, scattered pieces of bread, torn clothes, bed as if someone has just made love it is completely in chaotic condition. He does not allow wash men to come in.
Hello Carlos! It is Mary on the door, please open it and get it cleaned. Ha ha ha .. Mary, yes I married once and have beautiful children and awesome grandsons all happy doing good at job enjoying yes they are enjoying life and my wife, just a flip of eyes and she departed leaving me to die when my turn comes. Go Mary go from my door I am waiting someone yes someone very special who will take me to the heavens for ultimate rest. Ha ha ha I am a creeping creature my life has ended I am abandoned by time I am a rejected one please go Mary go never come to my door. And Carlos weeps inside. Mary could not stop her eyes and returned back with heavy leg. Carlos has turned into a creature with absolutely no needs no any charm for any shit thing; he is not interested to meet any one. Just his room and his mirror.
Child returns: Carlos is standing in front of the mirror and looking his face and asking are you bloody Carlos, no no you are bloody shit you can’t be Carlos. Look when peter challenged me that he will beat me in the class. I took the challenge, yes bloody I took the challenge. Nobody in the class dared Peter but I told him: Peter you are not going to get near me. I will fuck all your proud down the gutter. I will secure first in the class and when results were announced it was Peter who came to me and congratulated me. Ha ha ha but Peter was a nice guy he became my friend and we two together were the shining students of the class and when John was against me and wanted to pull me it was Peter who came to my rescue. And this Elena, she was really beautiful and often used to stare at me. I was feeling something for her but I didn’t know what it was but I am damn sure it was some awesome feeling. She became our companion and we used to play together. He again looks to the mirror and says am I that Carlos. Fuck! It is not that Carlos. That Carlos was handsome and energetic not a lethargic like this bloody shit and again laughs ha ha ha. Ok then Peter was with me and Elena always followed us. We were like silhouette of each other. The rest of the boys and girls were too envy of us, but our friendship grew and grew. I was little freaky as far as money was concerned and my mom used to give me few pieces of slice with butter but Peter always shared his dry fruits and cherry with me. Peter was an established family and having enough of things and see, what he gave me present when my birthday was celebrated. Yes he gave me a golden ring. And Elena came with beautiful flowers, hoe cutely she was smiling at me I still remember her smile. She was so cute and beautiful. I liked her but never said,
Oh how good was me in football, Peter always used to ask me how to play O Carlos please teach me. And I taught him how to kick and dribble. Off late he also picked up the game and we together joined the city club. Before leaving the primary school we had won many medals in football. All my trophies are decorated in my room’s shelf. Oh my shelf where is my shelf Oh shit I left it with my sons. My sons! Who are my sons do I really have sons. Oh yes I have sons and they are shining personalities. Personalities! Oh fuck! I am getting to wrong direction. Where was I, oh yes Peter yes Peter he was really a nice guy. He invited on his birth day but I had nothing to present but then he kissed my cheek and smiled and said Carlos you are here that is enough for me. Come on Carlos you will cut the cake. But why it is your birth day you must cut the cake. He insisted and I could not refuse I cut the cake and put in the mouth of Peter he was so happy that day and looking so smart oh how shall I explain. Elena was standing beside me and we had a group photo. Shit the photo is again in my shelf and shelf is at my home oh fuck! Not my home my son’s home. Do I need home. I am a creeping creature do creepers need home they live in jungles yes jungles ha ha ha …. Carlos again went off the track but soon he saw his face in the mirror and got back the memory of Peter and Elena. Oh yes when we were leaving the school Elena was about to cry. She kissed me several times and I also kissed her many times till Peter interrupted and said Carlos will you not kiss me. I turned to Peter and embraced him and kissed him several times. He took my cell and address and promised to meet very often in life, and so said Elena but after leaving the school they went to different cities for further study. Their parents were rich and they could afford higher studies in the university. My father was just a peasant with small land and could not manage me a big university. But I was a brilliant student and was selected in the military academy. I don’t know whether Peter and Elena are also talking with the mirror now or may be their children love them and they are better placed hum… better placed, I am bloody better placed I have a mirror to talk may be they don’t have a mirror also who knows. Ha ha ha.. he smiles and again looks at the mirror and asks are you Carlos bloody looking like a dead fish and smelling like a rotten egg. No no you are not Carlos you are ghost of the Carlos the skeleton hahaha … he laughs loudly and people of the old age house hear him. Everyone feels pity of him. Everyone wants to help him but he is retired in his room and don’t want to come and mingle with other old people. Most of the people here are full of patience and thought it as their luck and compromised with the situation, but for Carlos it is impossible his mind has forgotten muse. He is talking with the mirror and thinks it the ultimate.
Again standing in front of the mirror he is looking at him and want to recall as what was he saying before. Yes it was Peter and the military academy school. O the mirror, tell me I am alive or dead. I am thrown like garbage, a squeezed lemon or a stripped banana, am I dead? Can’t you say something? You stupid mirror, do you have a tongue like me; he opens his mouth and shows the tongue. Oh shit it is me. I have a tongue but why don’t I speak. Lo am I not speaking with you. I am bloody turned insane. I am in conversation with you, but you don’t reply my questions, well how could you reply you are dead. But I am also dead then how am I able to speak? Wonderful my ghost is talking to you see this Mary often comes to my door and wants to show sympathy, bloody I need sympathy? I was a warrior and warrior never needs sympathy. Hahaha…… yes I was talking about Peter and Elena, when we departed I felt my world is lost. But then this world depends on bloody anything. Yes I was sad for many days and often in my dreams I saw Peter and Elena. But slowly they faded about my memory and I joined the military academy school. The education here was cheap but there was no any option except to join military. But then there was no any solution. My father used to look at me with damp eyes and often cursed his luck. But I never felt bad about any damn thing; I was prepared to do any damn thing in my life. My mother died when I was young enough and my father never thought of another marriage. He just spent his time in the fields and feeding some animals we had that time. When I joined the military academy I was fourteen and had enough sense to understand good or bad of the life. There I met this unlucky lady Christy. She was beautiful and attractive. She wanted me to be her friend. But by nature I was little dry. I was short of emotions that time. But bloody these emotions how crept in me I never knew. Oh fuck emotions. These bloody emotions make one weak just like me now. Am I weak my dear mirror? Oh sorry my dear I forgot you are dead. I am alive see my face, it is shining with grace, oh no if it is shining with grace then why my sons dumped me here to talk to you. Oh every time