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The 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses 2014
The 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses 2014
The 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses 2014
Ebook39 pages51 minutes

The 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses 2014

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About this ebook

This book is perfect gift for you friends or loved ones who really love Facebook and Facebook statuses.
In this book we have compiled more than 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses we have collected on our most popular website for Facebook statuses: FacebookStatusTop.
This book is current for 2014, so you can be certain to read newest statuses you have never heard before. Our book is filled with funniest Facebook status updates so if you are looking for a good laugh, download this book today.
Every status in this book is handpicked to ensure that statuses are the best quality we can find.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateMay 11, 2014
ISBN9781310636790
The 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses 2014

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    Book preview

    The 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses 2014 - Tommy Robinson

    Introduction

    In this book we have compiled more than 700 Funniest Facebook Statuses we have collected on our most popular website for Facebook statuses: FacebookStatusTop.

    Every status in this book is handpicked to ensure that statuses are the best quality we can find.

    This book is current for 2014, so you can be certain to read newest statuses you have never heard before. Our book is filled with funniest Facebook status updates so if you are looking for a good laugh, you are in the right place.

    This book is perfect gift for you friends or loved ones who really love Facebook and Facebook statuses.

    Hundreds of Funny Facebook Statuses

    1% of battery life remaining? Challenge accepted!

    The only member of my family with a personal trainer is the dog.

    Dad, I’m hungry.-Hi, Hungry. I’m Dad. - Every time.

    I wonder how many people die each year as a result of lifeguards running in slow motion.

    They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug?

    The doctor told me I need more greens in my diet. So I have switched to mint Oreos.

    Slow and steady wins the race. Unless it’s one of those weird races that puts an emphasis on speed.

    If only life was as easy as getting fat.

    The last thing that blew my mind was the wind.

    The only reason people get lost in thought is because it’s unfamiliar territory.

    I wish they made bar-stools with seat belts and dual side airbags.

    Just get hoarders addicted to crack. They’ll sell all their stuff to buy more crack. Problem solved.

    Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.

    If someone asks for advice, just tell em to follow their heart. No idea what that sh!t means but at least they’re not talking to you anymore.

    Have you ever seen an alien? I have, because I picked up 5 of them outside of Home Depot this morning to build me a shed.

    Yes officer, the person who robbed me was a woman 25-30, at least 5’9, a brunette and definitely single. Can you arrange a line up please?

    The most important four words for a successful marriage: ‘I’ll do the dishes.

    I’m not afraid to die. I just don’t like the thought of being gone so long!

    I fear one day I’ll meet God, he’ll sneeze and I won’t know what to say.

    So, if I lie to the government, it’s a felony. But if they lie to me its politics?

    Is it wrong, to put people on your bucket list?

    I wish my GPA looked like those gas prices.

    That’s it. I’m suing Santa Claus

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