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    A Soldier's Fortune and Other Poems: Moving Past PTSD and Creating a Fun-Loving Life
    A Soldier's Fortune and Other Poems: Moving Past PTSD and Creating a Fun-Loving Life
    A Soldier's Fortune and Other Poems: Moving Past PTSD and Creating a Fun-Loving Life
    Ebook145 pages51 minutes

    A Soldier's Fortune and Other Poems: Moving Past PTSD and Creating a Fun-Loving Life

    By Ed Brown

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Ed Brown is a Canadian Forces veteran of Tsimpshian First Nations and Scottish-Canadian heritage. During his 19-year military career, he served on peacekeeping missions to the former Yugoslavia, Israel, Syria and Turkey (in support of Afghanistan), and aboard HMCS Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg and Moresby. Ed began writing poetry as therapy for PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder).
    Songwriter Denis Donnelly says, "With strong street language that often gains power from echoing the innocence of nursery rhymes, these poems of Ed's peacekeeping experiences, both narrative and psychological, paint an unforgettable picture of war and its human costs."
    Psychologist Agnes Sawchyn says that Ed writes "with unflinching frankness and emotional honesty... Ed extends a message of hope to others by describing what, in the end, made his journey back to health possible and worth navigating: his love for his children, the apprehension and joy of experiencing new love, the simple beauties of nature, and an irrepressible sense of humour and playfulness."

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAgio Publishing House
    Release dateApr 5, 2014
    ISBN9781927755051
    A Soldier's Fortune and Other Poems: Moving Past PTSD and Creating a Fun-Loving Life
    Author

    Ed Brown

    Ed Brown is a Canadian Forces veteran of Tsimpshian First Nations and Scottish-Canadian heritage. During his 19-year military career, he served on peacekeeping missions to the former Yugoslavia, Israel, Syria and Turkey (in support of Afghanistan), and aboard HMCS Calgary, Regina, Winnipeg and Moresby. Ed began writing poetry as therapy for PTSD (posttraumatic stress disorder).

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      Book preview

      A Soldier's Fortune and Other Poems - Ed Brown

      POET’S NOTE & DEDICATION

      When I started writing poems I did it with three thoughts in mind:

      First was to get the crap out of my head so I could better understand it and help myself process and heal.

      Second, I wanted other people to understand how combat and peacekeeping affects us and our families. I will never understand what it’s like to have a parent or spouse come home a different person because I was the one who was changed. I can only verbalize that I myself went though emotional hell trying to understand. I endured physical injuries as well as emotional. Would I do it again to serve my country? Hell, yeah.

      My third thought: If I could give strength to another as some have done for me. If the burden of pain is shared then it becomes less painful.

      I would like to dedicate this book to my parents and my children who gave me strength when I needed it most. To my family and friends who have supported me and were there when I needed to chat. To my beautiful gal who loves me as I am. I love you all.

      I would like to thank the counsellors and doctors who help patch us up. I am a better man today because of help from my health professionals and the Military Family Resource Centre staff.

      A final dedication to those who serve and the families that support them.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      Poet’s Note and Dedication

      Part 1: War of the Mind

      A soldier’s fortune

      Demons hide

      I saw a lady dressed in red

      I had a dream

      House upon a hill

      Convoy

      Rude awakening

      Anger

      Sickly scream

      A little boy

      Poison

      A blinding rage

      PTSD

      River of red

      Violence in my mind

      A girl alone

      Veteran plates

      My mind

      Terror and fear

      A jeep on a road

      Fireworks in the sky

      Thank the angel

      Death

      Free

      As I lie

      Moonlit glow

      Nightmares undone

      Wheels in my head

      So much red

      Inner darkness

      Brown hair and curl

      A soldier’s fortune, part 2

      Part 2: Love and Loss

      The dance

      Beautiful blue

      I dream of a girl

      Never again

      My heart is locked

      Piece by piece

      I trusted you

      As I sit

      Falling

      As I lie and think of you

      I lost

      I want you

      You’re in my heart

      A pill

      Rent

      Love

      Firefly dancing

      Dewdrops on a rose

      If you only knew

      I fell in love with you

      I’ve loved

      Not another tear

      Slowly

      Lips of an angel

      I miss you

      Twisted

      She loves me, she loves me not

      A beautiful rose

      Hummingbird

      Brick wall

      I think of you

      Part 3: Shit That Makes Me Smile

      Shitty poetry

      Beautiful rose

      If fish could drive a boat

      Christmas cheer

      A solitary rose

      A field of grain

      Raindrops on tin

      Why does the dog bark?

      Bears dance

      Zombies attack

      Scratching at the door

      Friend

      New ink

      Biker poem

      A little swift

      A winding country road

      Part 4: A New Day

      Mother

      The cycle will break

      I met a girl with a heart of gold

      A father’s gift

      Life

      The first time

      A new day

      A beautiful flower

      Part 5: Photo Gallery, Then and Now

      About the Poet

      PART 1: WAR OF THE MIND

      A SOLDIER’S FORTUNE

      A soldier’s fortune of coming home

      To a wife that does not recognize you

      Your mind not your own.

      A soldier’s fortune as death draws so near

      Bullets flying right past your ear.

      A soldier’s fortune of serving a cause

      So much death I ponder and pause.

      A soldier’s fortune of a spirit broke.

      A soldier’s fortune of atrocities spoke.

      A job that he loves is taken away

      Unable to trust you with a rifle they say.

      Family broken.

      No one can say. Just why Daddy came back that way.

      A soldier’s fortune so proud to serve

      Then they take it away

      No longer can he fight

      The fucking nerve.

      I came back from my last tour and had some problems dealing with things. My doctor told me that I would not see another tour again. This was extremely hard to hear. Not only was I very angry toward my family and life in general but being told that you can no longer serve your country is hard for a soldier to hear. I loved to serve and was very proud. I felt that had been ripped away from me. This caused me to become even more bitter and angry. It was an extremely hard transition for me to make.

      We as soldiers are so proud to serve. I was a career soldier.

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