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    Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them Down
    Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them Down
    Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them Down
    Ebook87 pages1 hour

    Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them Down

    By Poppy Palmer

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    About this ebook

    Sometimes you are driven to frustration when it comes to your children. Is it me or is it them is a question you ponder. You may feel that you have a bad child that you can do nothing about and yet other people don't seem to have that problem.
    Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them down gives parents an insight into their child as well as themselves to help understand the best way to deal with some of parenting's most common problems.
    It introduces you into the concept of how feeding back positive assessments of your child's behaviour to your child will help them understand what it is to be a grown up. It balances this with an understanding of why giving them the freedom to make mistakes ensures that they can survive both success and failure.
    As a parent you are encouraged to reflect on the possibility that it is likely to be you that creates the issues with your child that you struggle with and gives you direction on how to counter this.
    A book full of advice for dealing with children to teenagers.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPoppy Palmer
    Release dateApr 16, 2013
    ISBN9781301337675
    Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them Down
    Author

    Poppy Palmer

    New Author. Feel I could make a positive difference to how children are nurtured to adulthood. Happy, strong people make for a happy world.

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      Book preview

      Bring Them Up, Don't Put Them Down - Poppy Palmer

      BRING THEM UP, DON’T PUT THEM DOWN

      By

      Poppy Palmer

      * * * * *

      PUBLISHED BY:

      Poppy Palmer on Smashwords

      Bring Them Up, Don’t Put Them Down

      Copyright © 2013 by Poppy Palmer

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated. The views, opinions and interpretations expressed in this book are those of the author and do not necessarily represent the views of those who have been referenced.

      *****

      Many thanks to my family who helped me edit and revise this publication.

      I hope you enjoy the story as much as I enjoyed writing it.

      *****

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      INTRODUCTION

      CHAPTER ONE – Easier To Say No

      CHAPTER TWO – Your Upbringing

      CHAPTER THREE – Your Child Will Change So Change Yourself

      CHAPTER FOUR – Parent, Child And Adult (Voice)

      CHAPTER FIVE – Child Of Seven; Give You The Man

      CHAPTER SIX – Physical Violence

      CHAPTER SEVEN – Peer Group Pressure

      CHAPTER EIGHT – Keeping Up With The Jones’s

      CHAPTER NINE - Rebellion

      CHAPTER TEN – Sibling Rivalry

      LESSONS TO LEARN – Which Of These Principles Do You Remember

      *****

      Introduction

      Lots of people say There isn’t a book on parenting!, when in fact there are many covering a whole range of issues. Add to that the emerging choice of Nanny TV programs and it is fair to say you’re not short of methods and opinions that can be applied to bringing up your children. Well I’m happy to say here is another perspective on good parenting. I am however hopeful that it is more practical than many other options that are available to you. My belief is that after reading this book and applying its guidance, you will carry out its lessons instinctively and automatically improving your life and that of your children.

      This book does not promise to cure all ills, but should help you make some headway. It comes from experience, fifty years gained and is written in a form that should make it easy to relate to. Study of this book should equip the everyday person with some of the skills and ability to deal automatically with many parenting situations.

      It was not possible to put in everything that experience has provided as the level and complexities of parenting never stop and experiences are abound. More publications are likely to come. Thanks for taking the time to read my shared thoughts.

      *****

      Chapter One

      Easier To Say No

      The first word many young infants will learn to say is not Mum or Dad but the word ‘No’. This is in my opinion very sad but indicative of how most parenting is done. Now you may have a loose understanding of why this situation exists but let us explore this phenomenon further together.

      ‘No’ is a word that is used to protect and guide your child through the hurdles of life, it is a word that is used to manage the interactions with you and others as well as dealing with dangerous objects, for example a sharp implement. As a word it is quick and instructive and it would be reasonable to say that an individual would have a sense they have done what needs to be done once this word is uttered. You have instinctively saved your child from making a mistake.

      I would suggest however that it is not helpful to use this word as your opening barrage for a potential dialogue with your child, as whilst it may tell the child what not to do, it does not tell them what they should do and this is where the word ‘No’ falls short. In addition, once you have conditioned yourself to use this word as your main introduction to teaching your child, you are likely to continue as your child gets older, continually giving them no idea of what they should do or know, only what they should not. Another consideration is your child will grow and constantly go through changes where that word alone will have less value than it did when they were younger. This approach is therefore essential for your child regardless of their age, be they a toddler/infant/young child/young teenager or adolescent.

      There is no doubt that our role as parents is to give our child a heads up on life and life’s challenges; to reduce the chances of our child making mistakes and to help them to be successful in their chosen pursuits.

      But before you put parenting into action a question you should ask of yourself is; what does the child see as their role when they are at a young age, say younger than seven? Do they even understand the concept of a role in life? And as they get older what do you think they will feel they need to do to achieve their objectives and as their parent do you know what those objectives are? Pondering the answers to those questions will help you understand your child’s perspective which in turn will make you a better parent.

      When we had our first child we bought everything, fireguards, latches for low level cupboards, stair gates and sterilising tablets along with a container to put the bottles in so that they could be sterilised. But by the time we had had our second, third, fourth child, we forewent the fireguard amongst other items - not because we no longer had an open fire, nor because we no longer had the fireguard but because we had learnt a lesson with our first child.

      At the time that she was crawling she was constantly monitored when left to roam free and had developed a particular interest in the fireplace. When it was on she could not get close because it was too hot due to the flames and when it was cold the fireguard would prevent her approach. I decided to try a little experiment.

      When the fire was off on one occasion I had prepared a hot water bottle that was hot to the touch but not scolding. I put our child on the floor, waiting for the inevitable clamber towards to the fireguard which she incessantly touched. For your information the fireguard was secured to the

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