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The Loneliness Cure: How to Gain Connection and Fulfillment in a World of Isolation

The Loneliness Cure: How to Gain Connection and Fulfillment in a World of Isolation

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The Loneliness Cure: How to Gain Connection and Fulfillment in a World of Isolation

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Nov 15, 2012


Loneliness is a universal feeling. It can arise from countless sources and can create suffering, despair and isolation. Despite the increase in world population and the advent of social media, people are feeling more and more disconnected from one another. Many people find it hard to develop close and trusting relationships with others. There is no need to suffer from loneliness or isolation anymore. Dr. Alisa Robinson is a licensed psychologist with years of helping others overcome their feelings of loneliness. She helps people become more connected and fulfilled in their daily lives. The Loneliness Cure offers insight to the source of loneliness and guides you through a process to overcome it. A great read for people of all walks of life.

Nov 15, 2012

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The Loneliness Cure - Alisa Robinson

The Loneliness Cure:

How to Gain Connection and Fulfillment in a World of Isolation


Alisa Robinson, PhD


Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Alisa Robinson

License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

Alisa Robinson, PhD

Author of

The Loneliness Cure Workbook

The Loneliness Cure for Teenagers

The Loneliness Cure for New Parents

Table of Contents


Introduction: Why Are We So Lonely?


Step 1. Know Yourself

Step 2. Share Who You Are With Others: Authenticity in Action

Step 3. Enjoying Your Own Company

Step 4. Create A Plan of Action

Step 5. Taking Risks is Mandatory

Appendix: Advice From the Friends of A Psychologist

About the Author


It was a time I long dreamed about. A vision of independence, freedom and fun I had created in my mind throughout high school and college. I longed to move to New York City for as long as I could remember and finally I was there. Although I was surrounded by people, I was the loneliest I had ever been.

I wanted desperately to go to New York University, and even though I was accepted, I did not go because my parents could not afford the out-of-state tuition. I felt heartbroken. But I did not give up hope. As soon as I graduated college in California I packed up and headed out east.

Lucky for me, my best friend had just graduated from Yale and was living in the city, so I had someone to live with. But what I found during my year of living in New York City was that I was extremely lonely- an experience I absolutely did not anticipate. The reality didn’t fit what I had imagined in my mind. I was constantly among people, but I was very lonely. Don’t get me wrong. I love the city. I love my best friend. It was an overall positive experience. However, during that time in my life I experienced pangs of loneliness like never before.

I can still remember what it felt like to be in an apartment by myself on Christmas Day. I have memories of riding a taxi home at night alone, looking out the window, as a sinking feeling overwhelmed me. I wanted so badly to feel connected. I wanted a boyfriend. I wanted a group of friends. I wanted to talk, to connect, to feel alive. But it just didn’t happen. I often turned to food to comfort myself. I would buy Chinese take-out and eat it alone while my best friend was hanging out with her boyfriend. I would go to the bodegas and stock up on candy, cookies and treats. But this didn’t fill the emptiness nagging from inside.

It wasn’t until later in life that I realized what happened to me during that period of my life. At the time I knew I felt lost. I knew I was lonely, too. But I didn’t know what to do about it. After spending that year studying for my graduate school entrance exams and then eventually accepting a spot at the doctoral program at USC, I moved back to my native state of California.

I received my PhD from USC in Psychology and have practiced therapy for many years. I am fascinated by neuroscience and studied cognitive science during my undergraduate years. I conduct neuropsychological assessments often, as well. My interest in the brain and my work with people suffering, has led me to understand my year of loneliness from an integrated and more experienced point of view. I combine my understanding of neurology and my clinical experience to help people who are lonely to find connection and fulfillment in their lives. I have seen the various ways that loneliness can manifest and I have helped people overcome their loneliness. My feelings of loneliness are for the most part a thing of the past. Of course, there are times when I feel a sense of loneliness, but it doesn’t stick. It doesn’t color my overall experience of the world. And I have learned how to help myself feel more connected and happy.

Not only have I helped myself, but I have helped all different kinds of people feel more fulfilled in their relationships. I have seen loneliness from many different angles. As I have worked to help my clients overcome loneliness, they have taught me, too. By sharing aspects of their stories and common inner struggles I can help you, too. I have seen people overcome chronic loneliness and emptiness. I have been privileged to be a part of many people’s growth and change. I hope to share what I have learned with you, so that you may live a more connected and fulfilled life. There exists an abundance of opportunities for connection and closeness out there. You can find them. And I will show you the way!


Why Are We So Lonely?

The most terrible poverty is loneliness, and the feeling of being unloved.

-Mother Teresa

People don’t like to say it. They don’t want to utter the word lonely. It’s that powerful. They may be willing to check off a box on a questionnaire indicating that they feel lonely, but rarely will people come right out and admit feeling lonely.

Why is it that people have a hard time admitting to feeling loneliness, despite the fact that it is a universal feeling that most (if not all) people have felt at some point in their lives? If it’s common to most all of us, why can’t we talk about it?

If lonely people could just find other lonely people then maybe there would be less loneliness in this world. However, despite the fact that loneliness is so common, it can also be very devastating and can create a feeling of being stuck. Often times, the lonelier you feel, the less likely you are to reach out and talk about it. The less likely you are to do something about it.

And what happens then? That feeling of loneliness festers. You feel guilty for feeling lonely. You think that there must be something wrong with you if you are feeling lonely. You blame yourself. You blame others. You blame society. But none of this does any good. None of this will help you get unstuck and feel more fulfilled.

I offer you this book to help you get unstuck. I will provide you with a comprehensive strategy to understand loneliness, understand your unique cause of loneliness and offer you a way to create a personalized strategy to overcome it. You don’t have to talk about feeling lonely. But you do need to do something about it. The suggestions I give you will take effort on your part. But it is well worth it. I will help you cure your loneliness and learn to feel more connected and fulfilled in your daily life. By decreasing loneliness you will be increasing your physical and emotional health. You can do it. What do you have to lose?

Feeling Lonely

As a psychologist working

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