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    The Bully Vaccine: How to Innoculate Yourself Against Bullies and Other Obnoxious People
    The Bully Vaccine: How to Innoculate Yourself Against Bullies and Other Obnoxious People
    The Bully Vaccine: How to Innoculate Yourself Against Bullies and Other Obnoxious People
    Ebook89 pages1 hour

    The Bully Vaccine: How to Innoculate Yourself Against Bullies and Other Obnoxious People

    By Jennifer Hancock

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    About this ebook

    A Behavioral Science Approach
    In “The Bully Vaccine”, Jennifer Hancock expertly blends the latest scientific research on bullying with her extensive experience working with individuals, schools, and organizations to provide practical and proven solutions. The book provides step-by-step instructions, real-life examples, and powerful tools to help individuals stop bullying.

    This book provides a comprehensive understanding of the root causes of bullying and teaches a unique technique known as “Extinguishing a Behavior”. This approach is based on the principles of behavioral psychology and is designed to help individuals identify and extinguish negative behaviors.

    This knowledge should be widely distributed and become standard. There is 70+ years of research into getting unwanted behaviors to stop that validates it. The technique is super easy to summarize and teach. Most important – it works. You should buy this book – to help people learn how to make harassment and bullying stop.

    What's In the Book:
    This book is designed to help parents vaccinate their kids against bullies and other obnoxious petty people. By preparing for them in advance you can effectively inoculate yourself against the worst of their behavior. The goal is to not be the sort of person a bully targets. It is much easier to prevent bullying than it is to stop it once it starts. In this book you will find: Practical information on how to vaccinate yourself so that you don't make a good target. What exactly to do if you have decided to stand up to bullies to protect someone else. How to stop bullying after it's started. And how to get help when you need it. No parent wants to see their kid suffer. If you want to learn how to protect your child, this book will help you teach them the skills they need to be successfully inoculated against bullying..

    Important Note:
    This version of the book contains a chapter on suicide specifically relating to the LGBT community. If you don't want that section, get the For Sensitive Readers version of this book.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJennifer Hancock
    Release dateJul 31, 2012
    ISBN9781476284873
    The Bully Vaccine: How to Innoculate Yourself Against Bullies and Other Obnoxious People
    Author

    Jennifer Hancock

    Transforming Lives Through Humanism By sharing her pragmatic Humanist approach to living life fully and intentionally, Jennifer has transformed the lives of those who have been touched by her work. By encouraging people be the best, most ethical humans they can be, she consistently challenges people to think about and question who they are, what they are and more importantly, how they want to be. She is one of the few individuals in America who was raised as a Humanist and she brings her delightful sense of humor, creativity, and compassion combined with a no-nonsense approach to all of her work and her coaching. She will help you focus on what really matters in your life and will teach you the practical skills you need to live your life the way you know you should be: ethically, compassionately and responsibly.

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      Book preview

      The Bully Vaccine - Jennifer Hancock

      The Bully Vaccine

      How to inoculate yourself against bullies and other petty people

      Jennifer Hancock

      Copyright: Jennifer Hancock2012

      Smashwords Edition

      All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.

      Published 2012

      This book is available in print at most online retailers

      ~~~~~

      Other books by Jennifer Hancock

      The Humanist Approach to Happiness: Practical Wisdom

      Jen Hancock’s Handy Humanism Handbook

      Other products available

      The Humanist Approach to Happiness Life Skills Course: Living Made Simpler

      Learn more at:

      http://www.jen-hancock.com

      Acknowledgements

      I want to thank my friend Lisa Fite, who I have never met in person, but who insisted that I write this book next. Without her, this book would still be on the backburner.

      I also want to thank my mom for teaching me how to be fearless and how to deal with bullies so that they left me alone.

      I want to thank my friends from the Kewalo Basin Marine Mammal Laboratory. You all know who you are. Without you, I would have never learned how to train, or how to apply training principles to humans.

      And finally, I want to thank my son, who has used these techniques himself and verified that they do indeed work and who is becoming more fearless every day. I love you and am proud of you.

      ~~~~~

      Table of Contents

      Chapter 1: Bullying in the Real World

      Chapter 2: What is Bullying?

      Chapter 3: Vaccinating Yourself Against Bullies

      Chapter 4: What a Dork

      Chapter 5: Ignore Them and They Will Go Away

      Chapter 6: Getting Help

      Chapter 7: Exceptional Cases

      Chapter 8: On Becoming Fearless

      About the Author

      ~~~~~

      Chapter 1: Bullying in the Real World

      "The bullying was hideous and relentless, and we turned it round by making ourselves celebrities." - Julian Clary, gay British celebrity

      With about seven billion people and growing, the planet becomes more crowded every day. Most of us are the go along to get along type who try to be nice to everyone we meet. There is, however, a small portion who are, simply put, obnoxious.

      They may be petty, rude or just downright mean. It seems that wherever you go, there will be at least one obnoxious person, or perhaps a group of them, who will try to make your life miserable.

      It’s an almost certainty that at some point you will have to deal with bullies and/or petty and obnoxious people. So it’s a good idea to be prepared and have a strategy to deal with these jerks before you encounter them.

      Why This Book?

      This book is designed to act as a vaccine against bullies, jerks, and other obnoxious people.

      By preparing for them in advance, you can effectively inoculate yourself against the worst of their behavior. Yes, they will still be obnoxious, but you won’t be as annoyed and upset by their behavior and that is at least something.

      The added benefit is that the less you are annoyed or upset by them, the less entertaining and satisfying a target you will be for them. Bullies and other jerks really do want an audience. The more you are able to not respond to their obnoxious behavior, the more quickly they will go look for someone else to annoy.

      In this book I hope to:

      Help you understand what motivates bullies to behave the way they do.

      Help you understand that a bully’s behavior toward you has absolutely nothing to do with you; even though the bully want you to believe it does

      Help you feel sorry for how miserable the bully really is (Even jerks deserve our compassion)

      Help you learn some basic coping techniques

      Finally, I hope to help you become fearless in the face of the truly obnoxious.

      ~~~~~

      Chapter 2: What is Bullying?

      According to Wikipedia, bullying is a form of aggressive behavior, which may manifest as abusive treatment. Bullying can be verbal, non-verbal or physical. While bullying can be defined in many different ways it is often directed persistently towards particular victims, because of race, religion, gender, sexuality, or ability.

      The problem is that the word we use to describe bullying doesn’t do the actual experience justice. When bullying involves hitting, kicking, punching and threatening, it is actually a form of criminal behavior and should be treated as criminal. But even if all that occurs is some name-calling, bullying is still abusive.

      We should not ignore the emotional effects of bullying because they can be severe. Some victims suffer long-term stress problems as a result of bullying. Some people are so upset by the experience; they commit suicide to get away from the torment. Others have been known to retaliate by shooting their classmates. The better prepared you are to deal with it, the less you will suffer from its effects. Knowledge really is power.

      What You Need to Know

      In any given bullying situation there are three types of people. The bully, the victim, and the bystanders who witness it.

      The Bullies

      The reason bullies bully is because it works. It helps them achieve power and status that they would otherwise not be able to get on merit alone. Bullies get their power by making people afraid of them. We will get into why they do this later.

      To make people afraid, bullies target people who are not able to properly defend themselves. They rarely target people who will stand up to them because if everyone found out the bullies could be stood up to, bullies would lose their power. This is why they target younger kids, disabled individuals, and anyone they can label as different.

      The Victims

      As for the victims, pretty much everyone who isn’t a bully is worried that at some point they will become a victim. Studies on bullying (American Psychological Association – Bullying - http://www.apa.org/education/k12/bullying.aspx#) estimate that 70 percent of kids are bullied in school at some point. It is an extremely common problem.

      The good news is that while obnoxious people are inevitable, becoming their victims and allowing them to bully others is not. It can be stopped. But it takes courage, intelligence and a willingness to act, from both the victims and bystanders.

      The Power of the Bystanders

      Bullies choose their targets carefully. They bully when they think no one is looking, or when they have allies on their side. They are hoping bystanders will ignore their actions and not report them. For this reason, bystanders have a very important role to play in the culture of

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