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    Losing a Pet: coping with the death of your beloved animal
    Losing a Pet: coping with the death of your beloved animal
    Losing a Pet: coping with the death of your beloved animal
    Ebook89 pages47 minutes

    Losing a Pet: coping with the death of your beloved animal

    By Jane Matthews

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    About this ebook

    The loss of a pet can hit us as hard as the loss of any close friend. Yet pet bereavement is so little talked about that, along with their grief and pain, animal lovers may find themselves having to deal with feelings of confusion and even embarrassment at the strength of their reaction.

    For anyone grieving the loss of a pet, or facing up to having a pet put down, Losing a Pet aims to fill the gap. Warm, direct and compassionate, this short books offers practical guidance, emotional support and, above all, reassurance that there is nothing unusual in experiencing such strong feelings.

    For those supporting someone through pet bereavement, either personally or in a professional capacity, its blend of understanding and practicality aims to help the healing process.

    Contents: the place of pets in our lives; understanding why we feel so strongly; the stages of loss; dealing with difficult feelings; having a pet put down; when a pet goes missing; getting help; healing yourself; commemorating and celebrating your pet; additional resources.

    What they say:

    "This is the best publication of its kind to date." Kevin Spurgeon, Dignity Pet Crematorium

    "I loved this book and think many, many people will be helped by it. The length and content are idal and I recommend it to anyone facing euthanasia or who is experiencing the grief of losing a pet." Dawn Murray, Pet bereavement counsellor

    "This book is excellent - offering not only comfort but wisdom and understanding.I always recommend it to any reader suffering the loss of a pet." Sue Quilliam, author, agony aunt and relationship psychologist

    "We send a copy to all our bereaved clients and have had many, many positive comments from clients who find it very helpful and a great source of comfort." Nicky Bromhall BVSc MRCVS, Animal Health Centre, Bristol

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJane Matthews
    Release dateJun 25, 2012
    ISBN9781476303406
    Losing a Pet: coping with the death of your beloved animal
    Author

    Jane Matthews

    Jane Matthews writes and leads workshops on living more authentically, finding our purpose, creating better relationships, building self esteem and healing from the past.With a strong focus on helping people deal with difficult emotions, she's the author of a survival guide for carers, The Carer's Handbook, and Losing a Pet: coping with the death of your beloved animal.She's also the author of two titles on making better relationships and, most recently, Have the Best Year of Your Life, published by o-books.Jane is an accredited teacher of Louise Hay's Heal Your Life programmes and has been leading workshops and working with individuals since 2006.

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      Book preview

      Losing a Pet - Jane Matthews

      Living with a Pet

      Our pets are what turn our houses into homes.

      Whenever I’ve been away, whether it’s for a few hours or for a long holiday, it’s my cats I look forward to seeing again; more than the bricks and mortar, or the garden or the letters on the mat.

      At the end of the day, when I collapse in the chair with a cup of tea and my thoughts, it’s my pets I want alongside: easy, companionable, happy to let me be me.

      And when I’m upset, it’s they who instinctively know to come and offer comfort and quiet company.

      AN OPEN HEART IS A VULNERABLE HEART

      But the moment we choose to keep a pet we make ourselves vulnerable by laying our hearts on the line. Even if our cat or dog or pony or rabbit lives to an old age then the chances are we’ll still live longer.

      Sadly, many of them don’t live out their full lifespan, but are taken early from us by illness, or in accidents. Or they simply disappear and we never know where or why.

      We know our pets are not people, but that doesn’t stop our hearts breaking when we lose them.

      Losing a pet can be every bit as devastating, every bit as traumatic, as any other bereavement.

      SUFFERING IN SILENCE

      Because such losses are rarely written or talked about, we are often unsure whether to share them, not trusting others to understand the depth of our pain. Instead, we suffer in silence.

      The one thing in our life that has always been there for us when we are grieving is the very reason we are inconsolable. Without any obvious outlet for our pain, it can feel as if it is almost too much to bear.

      "The hardest part for me was knowing that others wouldn’t understand. I knew people would be thinking it’s just a rabbit so to think I was grieving so heavily would seem ridiculous to some. It made it harder for me to address the grief around others, which contributed to why I grieved for such a long time." Sally

      A TALE OF FIVE CATS

      Most animal lovers suspect that it is their pets who chose them rather than the other way around. That was certainly true for us when one Saturday morning someone rang the doorbell and ran away.

      The doormat wasn’t quite empty. There at our feet was a battered cardboard box and nestled inside were a mother cat and her four kittens.

      The mother was a shorthaired tabby, painfully thin. Her eyes looked hollow and sad - in contrast to her kittens, whose eyes were still tightly shut to this new world they’d suddenly arrived in.

      Two of the kittens were long-haired tabbies, sooty furballs curled into each other. The third had short hair like its mother, only several shades of smoke lighter. The fourth kitten was the colour of an apricot, its long hair curling from its soft belly. To this day we have no idea who brought the cats, nor why they chose our entirely ordinary, terraced house.

      But what a wonderful favour they did us.

      Princess – named by the children – and her small brood dug themselves into the house, into the furniture, and into our hearts.

      By the time two months had passed and, with it, the date the RSPCA told us the kittens would be weaned and they could take them off our hands, we were besotted – and determined to find a way of ensuring we could still see the little creatures who had snuffled, poked and purred their way into our lives.

      The little apricot cat, now called Marmalade, went to our babysitter, while the light tabby, who’d inherited his mother’s watchful eyes, went to an uncle who named him Scrumpy.

      We called the two long-haired kittens Pocket and Tails and found a willing home for the male, Tails, with an aunt. Pocket, we decided, should stay with her mother – and with us.

      LOVE AND LOSS

      Just like your pets, ours brought us so much joy, fun and loving companionship over the years. They were part of the family and so, so easy to love and enjoy.

      When my uncle died, it was an obvious thing to do to bring home again the little tabby we’d boarded out to him. Scrumpy may not have been a favourite with his mother and sister, who clearly resented having to share us with an interloper, but we loved having him back in the family fold.

      Thirteen years have passed since they arrived. Two years ago

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