Christian Skits & Such

Skits & Such by Nick Angelis

Copyright 2013 GG Press

Smashwords Edition License Notes

If you did not purchase this complete volume or receive it as a gift, please buy your own copy

.I've removed encryption so you can make multiple copies and edit the skits and dinner theaters to your liking, with the understanding that you will not sell the mutilated results of my precious work. Otherwise, Interpol will hunt you down and pluck the feathers from your poultry.

This book is dedicated to my brothers, whether they wish that high honor bestowed upon them or not. May our ridiculous skits on home video never see the light of day.

Awkward Adulations about Nick Angelis

WOW! What a great find. Nick’s short book Nonsense is packed full of wit that will leave you laughing as you fall asleep after a stressful day at work. If you enjoy well written short stories, or just well written books in general, get this—you will not be disappointed. I’ve never laughed so much while reading, truly entertaining. –Karriane Flynn from Beloved Arts Ministries

I found Nick's use of humor in Christian Skits & Such refreshing as he brought relevant issues to light in a unique manner. Rather than addressing surface topics typically found in Christian plays, he addresses matters beyond the superficial and makes his point with laughter. –Victoria Perkins, drama teacher and author of Three, Two, One and My Immortal, 'm Cara

I grew up performing the skits of Nick Angelis and now use them with my own youth group to minister to others. Be careful though, Nick's crazy.

–Youth Pastor Andrew Pitts

Nick has an outlandishly creative way of writing from a point of view you’ve never thought of before. That said, buy his books so he can go receive the professional counseling he so desperately needs.

–Young Adult and Children’s Church Leader Matt Burkette

I had wonderful things to say about Nonsense and Christian Skits & Such, but Nick impatiently published them before I could write my glowing recommendations. This is all you get.

–Rev. Mark Plegge, Grammy Nominated Artist

Although Nick Angelis is a consummate professional and clinician, and a welcomed guest contributor on my blog, his brain works a little differently than everyone else. Read Choosing a Healthcare Career and How to Succeed in Anesthesia School (And RN, PA, or Med School) to benefit from his sensible yet unique perspectives.

–David Godden, CRNA and writer of www.nurseanesthetist.org

Table of Contents

User Guide

Small Group Skits

Diary of a Ditz

Relentless after the One

Brainsuckers

Charades

Enamel Transportation Vessel

Good Samaritan

Guardian Angels

Monologues

Superheroes

Jonah’s Whale

Rock

Last Shot

Large Group Productions

Compelled by Opera

Ninjas for Jesus

Prep Metal

Risk the Seriousness

Split

Morte di Pasta Dinner Theater

About the Author and Similar Nonsense

User Guide

Please note that I will discuss the best uses of Christian Skits & Such in this long-winded user guide, but it is best read late at night with warm milk. The collection of skits and plays herein includes about twenty completely different works. In many instances, I've included several variations of the same work: Superheroes, for instance, is an easily produced funny skit for two to five actors, a more interactive work for six actors, or a complex monologue. The interactive table of contents allows readers to pick individual scripts, with all versions of the same drama grouped together. Other similar skits involve the same characters but emphasize a different theme or make the original skit more readily adaptable. The different variations primarily demonstrate how easily my writing can be bent for your own nefarious purposes.

A brief (and clearly biased) summary of characters, plot, and even quality of the work precedes each drama so that you can quickly find what will work for you, your actors, and your potential audience. Some work well on a Sunday morning to illustrate a sermon, while others are best suited to increase the skills of an impromptu troupe. Besides the table of contents linking to specific scripts, this book begins with skits for two to four actors, continues with monologues, and ends with the larger productions I've written.

I've provided this book with limited copyrights to make life easier for you. You can even base a lame play about vampires and pirates fighting over the Cross of Cortez on one of my skits, provided you've bought this ebook instead of just borrowing it for your reading pleasure. Don't worry, there are no vampire skits in this book—just the occasional ninja. One restriction you agree to by purchasing this book is that you will buy an additional copy for each institution (i.e. school or church) in which you will be using the contents. You can always contact me with questions or for support. There are no additional costs or permissions needed to put on any of these performances, and I don't want any of the money you make selling tickets to your show.

Looking forward, more and more playwrights will provide digital only copies of their work: gone will be the multiple paper copies of ragged scripts with words crossed out and cryptic notes in the margin. The smashwords edition of this ebook will be in multiple formats, while the amazon kindle edition requires an e-reader or the free kindle application available for computers, tablets, and smart phones. That way, every actor in a production can have a copy of the script on his or her own device. The easiest way to edit the scripts is to simply copy and paste them into Word, Wordpad, or a similar program (or buy them in that format from smashwords.com). I've tried to format this book to streamline that process—changing the font size and letter spacing in PC e-reader apps will allow the reader to easily transfer larger scripts or make scripts more readable.

Many of the skits in this book are written for the Assemblies of God Fine Arts Festival, a Christian competition for teens based on an annual theme such as Without Excuse and the deceptively similar No Regrets. To increase portability and in order for them to be used for other competitions (speech meets, for instance), the use of props and costumes has been limited. Obviously, I didn't write this book to appeal only to the extremely narrow genre of Christian teen drama competitions. The different pieces are a fun read that I hope will bless you and minister to you. Also, this is a worthwhile investment for drama clubs and for school fundraisers, especially in the case of the decidedly secular (but appropriate) murder mystery dinner theater variations I wrote, acted, and directed.

Skit Generation

In this second edition, I’ve updated the Table of Contents and pictures and re-released this compilation on the iBookstore. This book is still meant to be a starting point; a perusal into my creative process that will allow you to expand on what I’ve done and never have to buy another skit book. I’ve been in way too many skits with teenaged characters named Judy or Sharon, and awkwardly-dated pop culture references to do the same to you. In fact, I took out references to Star Trek’s Security Chief Odo in one of my older skits and replaced him with a more recent but probably already irrelevant substitute.

I believe the key is to avoid writing a skit about the latest trends or topics. As technology increases, the market supersaturates and then abandons the latest craze much more quickly. That doesn’t mean that referencing specific figures or datable trends is a bad idea (although all the popular songs five years ago mentioning myspace are unlikely to get much radio time anymore). Instead, if your goal is to set a specific scene relatable to a certain demographic, write about what will be cool several months from now. If today, March 9, 2013, I wrote a skit about vampires, it would remain interesting for a year or two because of the fading success of the Twilight saga and numerous books and TV shows. Making the skit slightly more generalized about a dystopian world, similar to Brainsuckers, would ensure a continued connection with the audience; apocalyptic story lines have a much more durable and far-reaching effect than focusing on the solitary mythical creature currently trending. So, write about mummies instead of zombies, and look at content creators to discern what everyone will be buzzing around next year. I predict one promising genre will be Westerns because of Disney’s upcoming flick The Lone Ranger, which will undoubtedly do for cowboys what Pirates of the Caribbean did for sea-faring rogues and what John Carter failed to do for everybody.

For most skits, the above advice refers only to dialogue characters may engage in. Writing a drama in any genre other than realistic fiction is challenging because audiences will unlikely suspend their disbelief for an entire skit about singing dragons and the search for parsnips. Trying to find a new perspective on an overdone subject will force your hand, however. For a real world example, I’ll quickly break down the 2013 theme for the Assemblies of God Fine Arts festival, Finish\ed. Themed contests require clearly identifiable plot progression, but a completely unique story line is just as important.

The Finish\ed logo features a mountain and the Bible verse Acts 20:24, where the apostle Paul discusses completing the race of life. Quickly, write down the first and second idea that pop into your head! You probably don’t want to use them, because everyone else will start brainstorming about mountain climbing or sporting events as potential skit settings. If you wrote a skit about useless punctuation marks like "\", the story would be original, but I don’t know of many people easily moved by the travails of a comma