The Mind Man

Acknowledgements

I would like to thank Annette Waterhouse, Romy Spitzer and Tal Bashan for contributing their time and effort to help edit, revise and offer invaluable comment.

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Chapter one

1984…

The attack on Adam Henderson was swift and brutal; and was wholly premeditated.

The victim didn’t stand a chance. A shoulder rammed into the center of his back from behind, slammed him into the metal lockers and sent him to the ground, striking his forehead on a padlock on the way down. Adam fell upon the bare timber boards in a mixture of agonizing pain and complete surprise. Pulling himself up quickly into a fetal position he shielded his face with his hands for fear of further blows. None came. Slowly Adam lowered his hands below his face and observed his attacker for the first time.

Standing over him was the tall, skinny frame of Roxley Hart, the self-titled school bully. Adam’s back ached and when he touched his head he felt the stickiness of blood in his hair. Roxley pulled a foot back to pre-empt a kick in mocking jest. Adam recoiled but felt metal against his back. Tears welled in his eyes. There was no escape. He was wedged between the row of lockers, the legs of Roxley and his bullying accomplices, two of the Tambini brothers who stood on either side.

I hate you Roxley…I wish you were dead, Adam managed to protest between sobs.

Roxley raised his head and laughed.

Oh, yeah and what are you going to do about it from down there, eh, loser? His tanned, thin face was helmeted by straight brown hair, crudely cut above the eyes and around the back of his head below his ears. It shook and slithered like a garish cartoon character when he moved. This combined with a crooked tooth resting upon his lower lip contributed mistakenly to a mischievous, impish look even though his real intentions were on the most part deadly serious, fueled by anger and aggression.

I don’t like you Henderson, he sneered without waiting for a reply.

Adam felt a warm wet sensation in his groin area and glanced down to confirm the worst. Roxley’s eyes followed and his face lit up with glee which turned to laughter when he saw the wet patch on the shorts. The Tambini brothers were quick to join in their friend’s mirth.

Ha, ha, ha…Hendo has wet himself. Look fellas; Hendo needs a nappy. Come on let’s leave the baby to cry. Roxley turned, brushing between his two friends and loped off down the corridor out of sight. Luca and Tony concluded the altercation with some mocking sniggers and jeers of their own before dashing off to find their leader.

Some students who had stopped to watch the commotion grinned and muttered to one another but then became bored and wandered off chatting about other things.

Adam hauled himself off the floor, brushing the tears from his eyes. He felt his head again. A formidable lump was forming just below his hairline and was concealed by a sticky matt of hair. He yanked up his shorts tightening the belt around them and tugged his shirt down hard to conceal his wet crotch. Adam held himself up against his opened locker door while he composed himself and took stock of his predicament. Apart from his forehead, pain came from his back between his shoulder blades but he decided it was merely a dull ache and nothing appeared to be broken. The humiliation he had endured was of more concern. At this thought he abruptly stood upright and slammed his locker shut. He joined the throngs of other students making their way out of the buildings at the end of the school day to find their way home.

Ardlethan was a small rural Australian community, home to Adam and almost five thousand other people. It resembled an island in an ocean of wheat which stretched to the horizon in every direction. Only a paved road and a single railroad track linked the town to neighboring service centers many miles away on either side.

The school was situated almost at the very heart of the town and even though Adam lived in the last row of houses before the wheat fields commenced, he only had to walk a couple of blocks to reach his home. That afternoon his thoughts were elsewhere and he was surprised to find himself turning into his street. The asphalt came to an end and he sought amusement from kicking stones along the road with scraped and battered leather shoes on the remaining stretch of gravel. He slowly passed the row of little fibro houses that baked in the late afternoon sun, as they stood faithful guard over the expanse of golden crop opposite, patiently waiting the return of the giant yellow and green John Deere harvesters which would soon systematically comb the land of its grain.

He soon reached his home, the last one in the street. Like the rest it was a dirty white color with a small timber verandah built over the entrance and along to the corner of the house. This provided scant shade to a small front window which had its blind drawn to keep out the heat. The green front door was partly concealed by a torn fly screen door which hung off rusting hinges. The shabbiness was topped by a dusty gray corrugated iron roof whose promise of paint had never materialized.

Adam’s head throbbed as he kicked open the front gate. He decided against stepping up the wooden steps to the verandah which would lead to certain altercation with his mother who would be in the kitchen preparing the evening meal. Instead he skirted around the side of the house pushing through long dried grass and weeds to access a spacious backyard.

Having achieved a degree of privacy he confirmed that his crotch had dried to an unnoticeable extent and then he found a tap and washed the dried blood from his hair. His forehead was still painful to touch but he concluded that his hair, once dry, would conceal the lump and any bruising that might follow. Reassured that he was not going to attract any unwanted attention he turned to the rear of the property to greet his best friends.

His three lop rabbits were named Flops, Sadie and Pooh. They spent their days in a large two level hutch which he had built for them under the shade of a giant yellow box gum. In the late afternoon when he returned from school he would place them on the grass and feed them vegetables from his father’s garden. During this time Adam would talk to them in a way which was inconceivable with any of his school friends and certainly not with grown-ups. These periods of confiding his innermost secrets and dreams were his favorite times of the day. As he stroked their fur and watched them eat he would also update them on the day’s events.

Flops was his favorite. He was given this name because of his downward pointing ears. For a time he was his only rabbit. With black and white markings Flops was not the largest of the three but he appeared to listen more intently. He would sometimes stop eating and look at Adam thoughtfully as though he was following the one-sided conversations. The backyard protocol was simple. Adam would speak mainly to Flops and the other two could listen if they were interested.

Hi guys…how ya goin’? I’m sure you had a better day than me. I had a shocker. You know Roxley? The guy at school who bullies me sometimes; well today he shoved me into the lockers. Geez it hurt. Adam lowered his voice and looked around the yard to check that they were alone before continuing. I tell ya I was shit scared…I even peed my pants.

Flops looked up and twitched his nose and whiskers before taking a long slow lope forward to reach a fresh carrot.

I don’t know why the stupid bastard does it. You know he used to bad mouth me, right? But now he is starting to hurt me for some reason. Adam stroked Flops’ long ears. I can’t wait for school to end so I never have to see him again. I want to get away from this stupid town and this stupid house. Don’t worry I’ll take you guys with me and when I make lots of money I will build you a gigantic hutch with heaps of fresh straw and vegies and you will each have your own place to sleep.

The rabbits shifted position again on the grass. Flops looked up from his carrot in Adam’s direction.

Yes, I know what you are going to ask. Yes, I did see her today. She was eating her lunch by herself again. I don’t know why she doesn’t talk with her friends anymore. Maybe they had a falling out. Anyway, I really wanted to go up and talk to her…but in the end I didn’t. You guys want me to take her to the leavers dance, right? I don’t think anyone else has asked her. I haven’t seen her with anyone. I tell you what; I’ll ask her at lunchtime tomorrow, I swear. You guys can find out what she says when I get home, okay?

Adam waited outside with the rabbits until he heard his father come home from the granary. The sun had dipped below the horizon of wheat but the air was still thick with heat. The granary was preparing for the upcoming harvest so his father was coming home later every night.

The rabbits had finished their vegetables and were beginning to move outwards in search of fresh grass. Adam picked them up one by one and placed them back in the hutch. Come on you guys…time to go to bed.

The hutch was made of chicken wire and discarded lumber he had scavenged around the town. There was the upstairs level on which the rabbits could sleep and a ramp sloping downwards to a large play area which had flooring of chicken wire. Two small wheels made it easy to move the construction to a new position every day so fresh grass would penetrate the floor.

Adam entered the house through the back door and headed straight to his room to change from his school uniform. He would have no need for it by the end of the following week he thought. By the time he entered the small kitchen his parents were already seated at a table barely large enough to accommodate the three of them. They had commenced eating without him and Adam’s plate sat untouched in its usual place.

Where the hell have you been? his mother looked up with knife and fork in hand. I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Your dinner’s getting cold.

I was feeding the rabbits like I always do. You should have looked outside if you wanted me.

You spend too much time with those rabbits. What on earth do you do with them all the time?

I talk to them.

Talk to them! What a waste of time that is.

At least they listen!

I don’t like your tone young man. Wasting your time with rabbits; no wonder you’re not doing well at school. Talk to him, Father.

Mr. Henderson sat hunched over his meal in dusty blue overalls. He looked tired and was more interested in cutting into his lamb chops than talking so he just shrugged without looking up.

I do enough to pass, so I don’t see what the big deal is. Adam retorted.

But you could do better.

Don’t pretend that you care mum. His mother’s hollow statements of encouragement were a constant source of irritation.

Mr. Henderson was finally drawn into the confrontation. He pointed his fork towards his son.

Hey, I won’t have you speaking to your mother like that.

Can I just eat please?

They each consumed the rest of their meal in silence, as was done most nights. After the last morsel of ice-cream was scraped from its bowl Adam was able to retreat to his room to be alone with his thoughts. His father retired to his tattered chair in front of a small black and white television set perched in the corner of their tiny living room. He sipped from a bottle of beer squeezed into a stubby holder which his wife had sat on a small side table beside his chair earlier.

Adam lay on his bed and watched the sky darken through the open window. A warm breeze gently blew the curtains inward on occasion as he listened to the crickets chirping their chorus outside his window. He watched the stars fill the night sky, and shafts of moonlight penetrate the leaves and branches of the large gum tree, leaving gentle shadows across his bedroom floor. Traffic sounds from the main road drifted across the town in the soft night air. He could hear his parents discussing something in the kitchen, presumably over mugs of hot cocoa and then he heard them preparing for bed. The small house became silent, dark and still.

As he lay on his bed his thoughts were on Caren Hampton, the prettiest girl at his school he was sure. He went over and over in his mind what he would say to her when he saw her the next day. Each Tuesday she was always at her locker as he came out of his last class for the morning. Although Caren was in the same year she was in a different home class so he had to think over in his mind all the times he was assured of seeing her before the dance on Friday night. Tuesday outside her locker was definitely the best time he figured.

He rehearsed several greetings in his head until he finally drifted off to sleep.

That night the dreams began; dreams like none before. Most of them he would never recall. His mind traveled far; visiting places, witnessing images and feeling emotions that were alien to him. Swirling visions in his head - vague and incomprehensible at first but then slowly becoming more identifiable and recognizable. Distorted painful faces; dark haunting locations; a battleground all scoured and muddy with wire and jagged steel scattered over the ground. Unseen people were moaning. All sorts of disturbing images from his past crossed his mind, taunting him. He couldn’t be sure if the deep, reverberating, rumbling sound of large diesel locomotives was part of the dream or if he had partially woken when a siren blasted as a freight train approached the railroad crossing on the edge of town. Then unlike previous dreams he had had the images became more sinister. They also became clearer, more intense and memorable.

There was a meadow full of lush ankle-high grass and pretty white flowers illuminated brightly in the sunshine. The field was atop a hill and in the distance were tall trees partly concealing bulky, blue mountains. His mind became calm and restful. He relaxed in the image. A girl could be heard, singing a delightful song. Golden hair held back by a pink ribbon came above the crest. Her face appeared - it was Caren. She was looking happily to her side and then a boy appeared holding her outstretched hand. They laughed and skipped across the grass. The calmness and peace receded from his mind replaced by rage. The boy was Roxley; vile, loathsome Roxley. The pair wore gaily colored clothes and their hair glistened and sparkled in the bright sunlight. They looked at each other with happy smiling faces as though intensely in love and they didn’t notice him. Then as they passed by Caren’s face darkened and soured. She turned and looked at him; her eyes were ringed with black and were bloodshot red as if she was about to cry.

Chapter two

Adam was convinced the clock above the blackboard had stopped working. He was fully aware that a watched clock was like a watched pot on the stove, but there was nothing he could do. His eyes couldn’t be prevented from drifting upwards above the teacher’s head. And this just made things worse. The long hand had barely moved from the last time he looked. He had no idea what Miss Pawlowski was saying. He was in no mood to concentrate on schoolwork.

Finally the long hand reached its zenith. Predictably, when it did a bell rang loudly and the teacher lost control of her class. Books slammed shut, chairs scraped as the exodus to the door began. She shouted her final words over the noise.

I want you all to have your final essays for the year on my desk at the beginning of class tomorrow. She tried in vain to get the message across. "And don’t forget to read the last chapter of The Violet Kingdom. We’ll be discussing it tomorrow as well. Her voice trailed off in surrender as the classroom rapidly emptied. Oh, and Adam, she quickly added, I want you to stay behind…I need to have a word with you."

This was an unexpected setback. He didn’t have time for this. Caren would be at her locker in just a few moments and he knew she wouldn’t be there for long. The din followed the students out into the corridor and a heavy silence filled the void left in the deserted classroom. Adam gathered his books and slowly picked his way towards the front of the class through the maze of scattered chairs and desks. Miss Pawlowski sat behind a large wooden desk placed in front of the expansive blackboard that covered most of the wall behind her. He stood and watched her across a jumble of books and loose papers as she rummaged through the mess, clearly in search of something.

Yes Miss Pawlowski, is everything okay?

He had taken an instant liking to this female teacher from the minute she had joined the school at the beginning of the previous year. She kept fit and Adam would often see her jogging along the roads of the town. She was a Polish migrant who had arrived in Australia at an early age. She shared very little of her personal life with her students so what was known of her affairs remained a mystery to everyone. All that could be reliably ascertained were her periodic departures from the school early on a Friday afternoon to make the one hour drive to Wagga Wagga, where she would utilize the regional small airplane service to Sydney, returning early on Monday mornings. Why she did this was cause for much speculation but it was popularly decided that she had a boyfriend there. Her ring finger was constantly under scrutiny by the town’s people for a hint of an engagement. This activity relegated her as an outsider and only a temporary visitor to the town. She was the youngest of three female teachers at the school and it was a general consensus amongst the students that she was the most popular. The two years that she had spent at Ardlethan had in no way dulled her enthusiasm towards her job. And this together with her melodiously rich accent and periodic flusters when losing control of the class, provided Adam and his classmates with much amusement and entertainment. There was not much about school which he liked but he always looked forward to his classes with Miss Pawlowski. It was a difficult life for a young single female teacher in such a remote town. Her modern fashion sense drew continual stares and comment from the locals and Adam often wondered why she persisted.

She found what she was looking for and looked up. Oh, Adam, I would like you to give this to your parents. She held a letter across the table and Adam reached out and took it. He knew the contents without having to open it. He had been through this a number of times with some of his other teachers.

I need to speak with them before the school term ends. Your exam results were not good. You’re obviously an intelligent boy but it is not coming through in your assessments and I don’t know why. She paused, studying him briefly before continuing. You seem to be always neglecting your homework. Is there a problem at home?

No, everything’s fine, he lied, and managed a quick glance at the clock.

What about here at school? Is anything causing you concern; problems with the other students perhaps? Is there anything I can help you with?

No, really it’s okay Miss Pawlowski, don’t worry.

It’s my job to worry Adam. The essay I want from everyone tomorrow…how are you going with that?

I’ll have it done. He was forced to lie again.

Well, I still would like to speak with your parents about your academic achievement this year and what will be expected of you next year. I don’t want you to miss going on to year eleven. Still the effort has to come from you. There is only so much I can do, she added a little more sternly.

Really Miss Pawlowski, there is no need to talk with my parents.

It’s for your own good. So make sure you give them the letter. I’ve suggested seeing them Thursday evening at your home. I’d like you to be there too. I hope you can arrange that.

Okay, can I go now?

No, there is one more thing. I am hearing from other students that you are having trouble with Roxley. Is that true?

No, Miss Pawlowski, everything is fine.

Well I intend to get to the bottom of it. Bullying is not tolerated at this school.

She looked at him for a moment across the desk. A somewhat pathetic figure she thought. His tanned young face showed no expression of interest under a mop of short cropped hair with a fringe that often fell across his eyes. His blue, short-sleeved shirt was always loosely tucked into oversized crumpled gray shorts. She couldn’t help feeling a little disappointed. She always did when students underperformed and she couldn’t determine the reason. He was quiet and likable but seemed indifferent to the process of education, although he never hinted at leaving to join the workforce. He was not at all like the other boys his age. He was rarely seen mixing with the other students instead preferring his own company around the school grounds and avoiding any involvement in team sports. Maybe a talk with his parents would provide a better understanding as to his lack of endeavor.

You can go now, she finally added.

Adam glanced once more at the clock. There was every possibility now that he would miss Caren. He left the room relieved but apprehensive. It was impossible to have the essay completed on time and the thought saddened him. He was tired of the constant prying of teachers into his life and the unwanted attention it brought to his home life. The thought of Miss Pawlowski meeting his parents made him cringe with embarrassment. Still, he had a more important issue to deal with at that moment.

Once in the corridor he quickened his pace darting from side to side trying to look past other students to see if she had gone. She hadn’t. Another student was talking to her beside the lockers. He slowed and tried to compose himself. At one point he stopped and pretended to re-tie his shoe laces while watching them; waiting for the girl to depart. Caren looked as pretty as always. She made an otherwise drab school uniform look smart, fresh and fashionable. She wore the blue and gray checked skirt shorter than the other girls, revealing slender, lightly tanned legs which disappeared into short white socks and black leather shoes. The well-pressed pale blue shirt enhanced the sparkle in her eyes. Her long blond hair fell onto her shoulders carelessly and her teeth dazzled white when she spoke. Suddenly he lost momentum and let doubt creep into his mind. Procrastination engulfed him, he began to walk away. But then he convinced himself that he had to go through with it otherwise the opportunity would be lost. Time was running out. With a deep breath he turned to face the two girls. They were exchanging farewells and he watched Caren turn back to her opened locker. He forced his legs to move and to carry him across the space to her. The trip took forever.

Er...hi, he stammered.

She turned to face him. Her face was blank and he saw no hint of emotion. It wasn’t the reaction he was expecting. Suddenly he wanted to be sick and disappear into the floor. His tongue felt like a piece of leather and his dry throat jammed shut. He forced the words out of his mouth. I...um...I was…well…I…was just wondering if you didn’t have anyone to go with to the leavers’ dance whether um...

Hendo, a voice suddenly interrupted.

Adam didn’t have to turn to see who it was. His heart sank.

Hey…Hendo…you big tool. What’s this then, eh…talking to your girlfriend?

Roxley strolled up and casually placed his arm around Caren’s waist. He grinned mockingly towards Adam, the crooked tooth resting on his lower lip added effect.

How’s your pants today? Haven’t wet them yet have you?

He turned to Caren. Did you hear he pissed himself yesterday? I gave him a friendly pat on the back and he let go…what a baby.

No one spoke and Roxley continued.

I thought you were mine anyway babe? he tried kissing Caren on the cheek but she pulled away releasing his grip.

Piss off Hendo…you’ve got nothing to say to her. His voice became more aggressive.

Adam stood rooted to the ground. He was at a loss to know what to do. A combination of humiliation and anger surged through him. The opportunity had been ruined and there were precious few remaining. Also he couldn’t begin to imagine what was going through Caren’s mind.

I said piss off! Go and find a grade seven girl to be pathetic with. You might find one who doesn’t know any better. Roxley laughed at his own attempt at humor and looked back at Caren for support, but found her gazing at Adam with a studied stare. This irritated Roxley so he made another attempt to forcibly kiss her but she stepped away.

Get away you creep! Caren cringed.

Adam took several steps back, searching Caren’s eyes for some hint of empathy but there was none. He bumped into a girl talking intently to a group of students gathered around her.

Do you mind? she spat.

He stepped away feeling even more humiliated, then he turned and ran off down the corridor.

Walking home that afternoon Adam tried to make sense of what was happening to him. What puzzled him the most was Roxley’s sudden intrusion into his life. He had always copped some verbal abuse from him from time to time, everyone did, including teachers, but now it had turned physical and more intense. Could he just be doing it for his own pleasure and entertainment or was there something more sinister going on of which he was not aware? Or could it be that Roxley was actually interested in Caren as well? Adam had long despised Roxley. He had just appeared one day with his parents from Sydney. Being a city boy brought into a small farming town he quickly became rebellious and adopted anti-conformist behavior. This attracted the attention of the small group of disturbed and outcast members of Ardlethan’s youth. Previously this faction had remained isolated and segregated