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    The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live
    The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live
    The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live
    Audiobook6 hours

    The Valedictorian of Being Dead: The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live

    Written by Heather B. Armstrong

    Narrated by Heather B. Armstrong

    4/5

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    About this audiobook

    From New York Times bestselling author and blogger Heather B. Armstrong comes an honest and irreverent memoir—reminiscent of the New York Times bestseller Brain on Fire—about her experience as the third person ever to participate in an experimental treatment for depression involving ten rounds of a chemically induced coma approximating brain death.

    For years, Heather B. Armstrong has alluded to her struggle with depression on her website, dooce. It’s scattered throughout her archive, where it weaves its way through posts about pop culture, music, and motherhood. In 2016, Heather found herself in the depths of a depression she just couldn’t shake, an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced. She had never felt so discouraged by the thought of waking up in the morning, and it threatened to destroy her life. For the sake of herself and her family, Heather decided to risk it all by participating in an experimental clinical trial.

    Now, for the first time, Heather recalls the torturous eighteen months of suicidal depression she endured and the month-long experimental study in which doctors used propofol anesthesia to quiet all brain activity for a full fifteen minutes before bringing her back from a flatline. Ten times. The experience wasn’t easy. Not for Heather or her family. But a switch was flipped, and Heather hasn’t experienced a single moment of suicidal depression since.

    “Breathtakingly honest” (Lisa Genova, New York Times bestselling author), self-deprecating, and scientifically fascinating, The Valedictorian of Being Dead brings to light a groundbreaking new treatment for depression.

    The Valedictorian of Being Dead was previously published with the subtitle “The True Story of Dying Ten Times to Live.”
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSimon & Schuster Audio
    Release dateApr 23, 2019
    ISBN9781508280903
    Author

    Heather B. Armstrong

    Heather B. Armstrong was widely acknowledged to be the most popular “mommy blogger” in the world. Her website, Dooce, was twice listed as one of the 25 best blogs in the world by Time magazine and Forbes listed it as a top 100 website for women. In the many years that Heather helped to shape the online writing community, she worked to create targeted content not only for fellow parents but also for numerous global brands—including Ford, Nintendo, and Clorox—and wrote several books including the New York Times bestseller It Sucked and Then I Cried, Dear Daughter, and The Valedictorian of Being Dead. She passed away in 2023 at the age of 47.

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    Reviews for The Valedictorian of Being Dead

    4/5

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    • 5/5
      Heather B. Armstrong recounts her struggle with mental illness in "The Valedictorian of Being Dead." Heather has a history of severe depression, and some of her other family members are similarly afflicted. She was concerned not just for herself, but also for her two young daughters whom she was raising alone. During Heather's worst moments, she telephoned her mother, Linda, and screamed that she wanted to die. Fortunately, Linda is a patient woman who, along with her second husband, Rob, supported Heather every step of the way.

      For a period of eighteen months, Armstrong endured "an episode darker and longer than anything she had previously experienced." Since her medications did not markedly improve her condition, Heather agreed to take part in an experimental study. The protocol involved having an anesthetist administer a drug that placed Heather in "a chemically induced coma approximating brain death." After fifteen minutes, Heather's physician gradually revived her. Heather went back nine more times over a period of four weeks to repeat this procedure. The goal was to reboot Heather's brain in order to break the back of her crippling depression.

      The author narrates her experiences with humor, candor, and a detailed account of how, even at her worst moments, she juggled work, family obligations, and numerous crises. She wrote this book, not just as a catharsis, but also to help reduce the stigma of mental illness and give hope to those who are mired in misery. Armstrong educates us about the many ways in which severe emotional distress affects not just the patient, but also those who care for her. She gives full credit to the dedicated professionals, such as Dr. Brian Mickey, who donated their time and expertise to conduct this clinical trial. Going forward, there is still much more to be learned. "The Valedictorian of Being Dead" gives us a fascinating look at the research that is being conducted by scientists who are determined to relieve the agony of those who suffer from intractable depression.
    • 1/5
      What a spoiled brat. How many people who can't afford care go unhelped or imprisoned
    • 5/5
      Wow...just...wow.

      This wasn't an easy book to listen to, especially with the author narrating it. Her pain, her desperation comes through loud and clear. I can't tell you how often her words choked me up, made me tear up, or simply destroyed me.

      I've gone through depression and anxiety, but nothing close to the level Armstrong details here. I do, however, know people who have been as low as this, as suicidal as this. Some made it through, some didn't. Armstrong's story, her unrelenting travelogue through the darkness opened up vistas of understanding for me that I'd never considered before.

      The treatment aspect of the story is important, because of the result, but it's the insights along the way that are incredibly important for anyone who wants to try and understand what a person suffering from suicidal thoughts and depression are going through.

      Just...wow. Thank you for this book, Heather. I'm glad I read it.
    • 4/5
      I don't generally read "mommy blogs" so I wasn't familiar with Heather at all. I accepted the advance copy because so many people in my family suffer from depression and I thought that reading her profoundly personal story might give me a clearer picture of what life is like at the bottom of the depression pit. It's not great, even if you have family support and money. Heather is pretty funny about the entire situation in a believable way.
      I think it is so important to be open and honest about mental health issues and not sweep them under the rug. This book will go a long way towards that end.
    • 5/5
      This is an amazing true story about depression, motherhood, asking for help, and an experimental treatment that saved the author's life. I suffered from postpartum depression, have close family members with depression, and have studied depression in my formal training, but I still think Armstrong is one of our best resources on the topic. I'm grateful she's still with us and that she was able to write this book.
    • 4/5
      I had never heard of this young woman before reading this book. I've since learned she is a well known mommy blogger. So it is natural for her to write down her thoughts, and to share them with the world. Depression is an insidious disease, one I don't suffer from, though a few people very close to me have at one time or another in their lives. In this candid memoir, Heather, chronicles her life during an eighteen month bout of a severe depression. As the single parent to two daughter, she simply wanted it all to end. The day to day struggle, the constant chores, she couldn't envision a time when she would feel happy. She loved her girls, knew deep down she needed to be around for them, yet knowing and feeling are two very different things.In desperation she agrees to become part of a study, only the third participant. This is the story of her days, glimpses of her past, and the treatment she undertakes. Mental illness still has such a stigma attached, and this played into her fears as well. She has a wonderful mother and step father who were with her during every treatment and beyond. Family support is crucial. This country, among many I'm sure, need better psychiatric care, easier to attain and pay for. Awareness is key.ARC from Edelweiss.
    • 5/5
      I think you need to know Heather's back story (i.e. be a long-time reader of her blog) to fully appreciate this book. For me, it filled in all the personal gaps her blog left out - what really happened between her and her husband Jon, why she was so depressed, what was going on when the blog deteriorated into shills for products or diatribes against her vitriolic critics. I don't follow her blog as often now, because the writing, a sort of stream-of-consciousness laced with profanity, seems lazy to me. I was worried the book would be the same, but was pleasantly surprised. The writing is very good, but also very accessible.It was, finally, so honest, so wrenching, and also so hopeful. Heather, I truly hope it lasts, because you have so many riches in your life.