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The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant
Audiobook7 hours

The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

Written by Drew Hayes

Narrated by Kirby Heyborne

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

4/5

()

About this audiobook

Some people are born boring. Some live boring. Some even die boring. Fred managed to do all three, and when he woke up as a vampire, he did so as a boring one. Timid, socially awkward, and plagued by self-esteem issues, Fred has never been the adventurous sort.


One fateful night-different from the night he died, which was more inconvenient than fateful-Fred reconnects with an old friend at his high school reunion. This rekindled relationship sets off a chain of events thrusting him right into the chaos of the parahuman world: a world with chipper zombies, truck driver wereponies, maniacal necromancers, ancient dragons, and now one undead accountant trying his best to "survive."


Because even after it's over, life can still be a downright bloody mess.

Editor's Note

Accounting with wereponies…

Two things in life are certain: death and taxes. So what happens when a mundane accountant is turned into a vampire? Who knew complicated accounting could be fun when you mix in the undead, dragons, wereponies, and other mythological creatures.

LanguageEnglish
Release dateFeb 24, 2015
ISBN9781494579715

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Reviews for The Utterly Uninteresting and Unadventurous Tales of Fred, the Vampire Accountant

Rating: 4.118604698139535 out of 5 stars
4/5

430 ratings22 reviews

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  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    As always Drew Hayes doesn’t disappoint :) I waited to start this one cause I was already following his other series, but I’m glad I finally get into Fred’s story. Hayes is amazing in creating unique worlds and characters! Can’t wait to continue to book 2! The only weird thing for me is that this might be a collection of short story? It’s a bit strange to hear Fred re-explain his undead situation in every chapter.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A super fun, serial style, collection of stories about the title Fred the Vampire.
    Picture a version of Sheldon from The Big Bang Theory, who's been made a vampire and is just... dealing with it :)
    Wholesome, sweet and nerdily relatable!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    The author dumbed this down quite a bit and of particular annoyance the author seemed to think it of constant interest having vampires in the story.bi mean, ok we get it, he's a vampire. Now what?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This is a great take on the supernatural. My wife and I listened to it while on a trip. We laughed out loud a lot.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    simply incredible

    I can't say enough good things about this book.

    the "hero" is the most ordinary bloke ever, apart from being an accountant turned vampire.

    Funny and engaging from start to finish I loved this book. I can't wait to read the two sequels.

    madcap adventures featuring a range of supernatural beings in a cavalcade of situations

    read it now, you can thank me later
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Very amusing
    Exactly how I thought it would be
    ?
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    A must listen, it's the most wonderful world I've ever seen since middle earth ?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Not Your Typical Vamp, Not even in the same neighborhood as typical Vamp tales...

    OVERVIEW=4 out of 5 Stars (Minus -1 Star, due to the unexpected skipping/gaps in time, and the first person writing style felt contrived as ‘filler’ with no real point to the commentary, neither moving the story or characters forward, also on occasion some of the character Narration vocals could have better, they wasn’t very convincing as separate individuals)
    NARRATOR=Good Narration, and generally Enjoyable.

    If You’re expecting the typical Domineering, Magnet, Angelic Good Looks, Vamp...Well, You’ll be sorely disappointed. Because, this is NOT Your typical Vamp. This instead, is “Fred”, a Normal, Average, Joe Friday, Accountant CPA, that one day was turned Vampire. In his after-living, he continues to be just that, an Average, Joe, CPA Accountant, that continuously finds himself in Supernatural, Super unusual, situations, all starting at his 10-year High School Reunion (Yet, another reason to skip that bane of everyone’s existence.) From 10-Year High School, to Las Vegas’s Excalibur Hotel, to points in between, “Fred”, as a Member of the (recently) Undead. Thankfully, the very Dead Fred, collects a crew of similarly talented Super Naturally inclined individuals from within the Paranormal Community. All of whom both draw the poor dead Fred into precarious situations, and likewise, continually help pull dead Fred’s carcass out of the hot seat on multiple occasions.

    One of the things that I really enjoyed about this Book, is the fact the book doesn’t just contain one lengthy story, but a selection of several mini-stories, all of which occur along a definitive timeline.

    I hope you enjoy the ‘read’ or ‘listen’ as much was I did, because I did Enjoy it!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Another great work by Drew Hayes. This is in the style of short stories and I look forward to the rest of the series.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a fun book of short stories about an unlikely vampire hero and his team if misfit parahumans. Fans of the show Reaper should definitely give this a try! I'm excited to see this is a series
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    Writing seems juvenile and lacks style. Dialogue is unrealistic and almost painful to read. First person narration gets old very fast. Ultimately. Seems like it should be a YA novel, but throws in one too many “gayer than a unicorn butt-f****ing a rainbow” type lines that forces it to be in the adult section. Could’ve been an interesting idea for a story, if the writing had been at all decent.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I expected to be amused with this and I was. The stories were all told via journal entries. Fred was turned into a vampire a year prior to the start of the entries. He was a normal, boring guy who worked as an accountant. He was overweight and awkward as a child and of course bullied. The first opportunity he had to leave his small town, he did and never looked back. Well, almost never. As a vampire, the only thing that changed for Fred was that he was relegated to a liquid diet, which helped with weight loss, and he had to open his own accounting firm, as he could no longer go into the office, because he would burst into flames in sunlight. Fred's boring life as a human carried over to his unlife as a vampire. The vampire who had turned him disappeared immediately, so he had to learn how to live as a vampire on his own. Poor Fred realized that his life was uneventful and decided to take a risk and accept the invitation to his high school reunion.From there Fred falls into one ridiculous situation after another. At the reunion, he reconnected with his only friend from high school, who works for an agency that polices supernaturals, or parahumans, that step out of line. Then together they stop a pack of werewolves from eating all of their classmates. They begin dating and keep falling into shenanigan after shenanigan picking up new friends--some as hopeless as Fred--along the way. They create their own parahuman family, who also happen to be trouble magnets.The narrator did a good job capturing Fred's "voice" as well as the other characters. My only pet peeve was that each new story started with a recap. This would make sense in a series of separate but connected stories, but this is one book broken into sections for each story. It was just a little annoying, but did not take away from the stories.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I found the droll humor and silly puns in this book laugh out loud funny. This is the perfect read when you just want to have fun and smile.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    an interesting concept that, sadly, took place over several short deus-ex-machina style stories.... i was expecting more of a cohesive and coherent storyline, not short stories that collected sidekicks so the "plot" could tackle the next story in line...
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    While it wasn't the funniest it book it still had good humor. While it wasn't the most established world, you got the gist of it. But the main character was great. A former nerd who is still a nerd but as a vampire. He gets himself into trouble not on his own doing but gets out of it through intelligence. So an underdog, unlikely hero who uses a little wit to outwit who he needs to. It was quite enjoyable to read this tale and it does have some good humor; just not rolling on the floor laughing kind. I would most likely pick up the other books in the series. Final Grade - B
  • Rating: 1 out of 5 stars
    1/5
    This was structured as several short stories, which worked to the book's favor to keep things simple. And thankfully, it was a quick read in general. It was also more urban fantasy than I expected. Male-centric urban fantasy, which I don't care for.

    Wow I hated all of the nerd stereotypes in this book. Fred is pretty stereotypically nerdy, but he's also stereotypically close-to-misogynistic nerdy, and that's definitely an element I come to fantasy to forget. Fred is strangely focused on being able to tell whether a woman is actually attracted to him (by pheromones, obviously), which is kinda skeevy.

    We start off with a 10-year high school reunion, where the main character is still clinging to all of the stereotypes and misery associated with high school. One lady already has 4 kids, and she's 28. He still hates people from the football team, who somehow - again, at 28 - have completely gone to seed. He thinks people in the chess club - who are still defined a decade later only as having been in the chess club!!! - are too geeky for him (also, the third story tries to establish him and Krystal as having been chess prodigies, which makes this comparison EVEN STUPIDER). Fred is still flustered by seeing attractive women and is really obsessed with looking at their breasts.

    The second story had LARPers, with all of the condescension associated with them. Like, I can tell that the author has actually done some LARPing, but it was still presented in a condescending look-at-these-nerds-who-don't-know-how-to-talk-to-people way, which hasn't been my experience with them. Fred is still really into ladies' breasts..

    Third story: Fred must protect girlfriend, because another man has dared to look at her. The resolution was relatively amusing. The weird male posturing around his girlfriend was way less so.

    Fourth story: Fred worries about gay men seeing other men naked. Also, all people who get high love Pink Floyd.

    Fifth story: Other vampires assume that women cause all problems.

    Honestly, I was mostly fine with all of the other characters. I just hated Fred.

    The writing wasn't great. I made a lot of angry Kindle notes about bad word choices and comparisons. The simple sentence structure and word choice made it faster to get through, at least. If I was listening to this on audiobook, I would probably be screaming.

    There was also a problem with the ebook edition of this, where it would mark chapter ends at almost-the-end of each short story, but miss by a chapter or two.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Though it wasx pretty interesting and a new take on the un-dead, I found this more of a preteen book. I think my boys and girls in grades 6 - 8 might find it interesting, however; my more advanced readers might blow right through this and find it a bit remedial for them. It was light and entertaining overall.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I expected to be amused with this and I was. The stories were all told via journal entries. Fred was turned into a vampire a year prior to the start of the entries. He was a normal, boring guy who worked as an accountant. He was overweight and awkward as a child and of course bullied. The first opportunity he had to leave his small town, he did and never looked back. Well, almost never. As a vampire, the only thing that changed for Fred was that he was relegated to a liquid diet, which helped with weight loss, and he had to open his own accounting firm, as he could no longer go into the office, because he would burst into flames in sunlight. Fred's boring life as a human carried over to his unlife as a vampire. The vampire who had turned him disappeared immediately, so he had to learn how to live as a vampire on his own. Poor Fred realized that his life was uneventful and decided to take a risk and accept the invitation to his high school reunion.From there Fred falls into one ridiculous situation after another. At the reunion, he reconnected with his only friend from high school, who works for an agency that polices supernaturals, or parahumans, that step out of line. Then together they stop a pack of werewolves from eating all of their classmates. They begin dating and keep falling into shenanigan after shenanigan picking up new friends--some as hopeless as Fred--along the way. They create their own parahuman family, who also happen to be trouble magnets.The narrator did a good job capturing Fred's "voice" as well as the other characters. My only pet peeve was that each new story started with a recap. This would make sense in a series of separate but connected stories, but this is one book broken into sections for each story. It was just a little annoying, but did not take away from the stories.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    What a great and unique idea! Interesting characters and fun adventures combined with a vampire who doesn't think himself special combine in some great tales!
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    An excellent choice when you crave the Twinkie equivalent of a book.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Fred is funny in his failure to be a scary creature of the night. This novel feels like a series of short stories in the life of Fred, which kind of threw me off a bit.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book was great fun, and an interesting take on the supernatural genre.It was reminiscent of the Dresden Files books, though much more light-hearted, and I enjoyed it a lot.The book was split into several smaller stories, each with several short chapters. It was a little like episodes of a TV series.