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    Coming Clean: A Memoir
    Coming Clean: A Memoir
    Coming Clean: A Memoir
    Audiobook5 hours

    Coming Clean: A Memoir

    Written by Kimberly Rae Miller

    Narrated by Kimberly Rae Miller

    4/5

    ()

    About this audiobook

    Kimberly Rae Miller is an immaculately put-together woman with a great career, a loving boyfriend, and a beautifully tidy apartment in Brooklyn. You would never guess that behind the closed doors of her family’s idyllic Long Island house hid teetering stacks of aging newspaper, broken computers, and boxes upon boxes of unused junk festering in every room—the product of her father’s painful and unending struggle with hoarding.

    In this dazzling memoir, Miller brings to life her experience growing up in a rat-infested home, hiding her father’s shameful secret from friends for years, and the emotional burden that ultimately led to her suicide attempt. In beautiful prose, Miller sheds light on her complicated yet loving relationship with her parents, which has thrived in spite of the odds.

    Coming Clean is a story about recognizing where you come from and understanding the relationships that define you. It is also a powerful story of recovery and redemption.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBrilliance Audio
    Release dateJul 23, 2013
    ISBN9781469283555
    Coming Clean: A Memoir
    Author

    Kimberly Rae Miller

    Kimberly Rae Miller is a bestselling author, editor, and blogger. Her 2013 memoir, Coming Clean, was picked by both Amazon and Elle magazine as one of the best books of the year, and it was a nominee for the 2013 Goodreads Choice Awards. She has written on healthy living for numerous magazines and websites, including her personal blog, www.TheKimChallenge.com. Kim lives in New York City.

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    Reviews for Coming Clean

    4/5

    214 ratings19 reviews

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    • 4/5
      At first wasn't sure, but ended up really enjoying this book. Amazing that she survived her childhood and still has compassion for her parents. Miller personality changed from introvert to extrovert as she grew up. she survived and tells her story with a lot of humor.
    • 5/5
      What an amazing book. It is a testament to love and family and surviving. Just wow. Unconditional love
    • 5/5
      So heart wrenching and relatable. There could not have been a better narrator.
    • 5/5
      If you had or have any type of childhood trauma whether or not it's resolved or if you simply had more than one moment in your childhood that you simply wished to be anywhere but that very present moment in your life you'll find a place within this book that you feel at home.
    • 5/5
      I wish this book would be made into a movie. Obviously I loved it, and it’s a different type of child abuse, one where the parents are loving and supportive, but still knowingly put this young lady at risk. I have to say the abuse the mother endured was heartbreaking, and the father’s must have been as well. I’m so glad the Author shared her story, and wish her and her parents nothing but joy and peace.
    • 4/5
      This book seems to somehow fit into the plethora of dysfunctional family books I’ve read: Educated, Between Two Kingdoms, Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard in the Richest Country on Earth, Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family. However, this family really isn’t broken. The parents are merely hoarders, and their daughter, the author, is so damaged by their obsession, it seems as if she will never recover. Somehow she does, although Mom and Dad never do really conquer their ailment. Maybe no hoarder ever does. The book will tap into any reader’s childhood that included parents who were unable or unwilling to do whatever they could to provide a completely normal environment for their children. That probably includes about all of us. I know it includes me. My only criticism of Miller’s book is the constant repetition of disasters in her parents’ living quarters became a bit much. I guess it became a bit much for her too, though.

      1 person found this helpful

    • 4/5
      This book seems to somehow fit into the plethora of dysfunctional family books I’ve read: Educated, Between Two Kingdoms, Heartland: A Memoir of Working Hard in the Richest Country on Earth, Hidden Valley Road: Inside the Mind of an American Family. However, this family really isn’t broken. The parents are merely hoarders, and their daughter, the author, is so damaged by their obsession, it seems as if she will never recover. Somehow she does, although Mom and Dad never do really conquer their ailment. Maybe no hoarder ever does. The book will tap into any reader’s childhood that included parents who were unable or unwilling to do whatever they could to provide a completely normal environment for their children. That probably includes about all of us. I know it includes me. My only criticism of Miller’s book is the constant repetition of disasters in her parents’ living quarters became a bit much. I guess it became a bit much for her too, though.
    • 3/5
      Fascinating memoir of a woman who grew up in a hoarding household. Having pack-rat tendencies myself I was intrigued, horrified and vindicated about my own stacks and piles in comparison. This is full-blown cable TV style hoarding -- including rats, fleas, and whole rooms that couldn't be entered. How Kimberly manages to have a "normal" life for herself (only -- the parents were a lost cause)and become a successful person is an interesting story. However it did have some James Frey moments for me and I hope her fact checkers were more diligent. For example, in jr. high/high school, when getting rides home she would have people drop her 4 doors away so it wasn't her own run-down shuttered house she was entering. This was in the 90s -- really? As a parent that doesn't seem believeable to me. There are other instances that I questioned too -- neglect and sneakiness that might have been do-able in the 70s and 80s when parenting wasn't a full-time occupation. However, kudos to her for pulling herself out of the morass, literally, and maintaining a loving relationship with 2 very flawed parents. It made me clean out a few closets after reading!!
    • 3/5
      This was the engaging memoir of a young woman who grew up as the only daughter of hoarders. What shines through in this book is how much her parents love her, and how much she loves them, despite the pain their mental illness caused her both during her childhood and as an adult, and despite the PTSD she still suffers. The focus of the book is their personal story, rather than an attempt to explain causes (though some are touched upon). The descriptions of life with a hoarder are visceral and eye-opening. Recommended.3 stars
    • 4/5
      Author Kimberly Rae Miller was raised by two loving parents, one of whom is a hoarder, and the other who has, at times, been a compulsive shopper. This memoir tells Ms. Miller’s story through vivid anecdotes that really bring the reader as much into her world as possible, without dwelling so much on the details that shows like ‘Hoarders’ love to emphasize (cat carcasses, anyone?). Yes, she is clear on what she means by hoarding, and yes, sometimes the descriptions are enough to make one maybe not want to eat during those paragraphs, but in reality Ms. Miller is telling a very thoughtful story about the complicated but devoted relationship she maintains with her parents.

      Ms. Miller was a shy child who tried to keep the reality of her father’s hoarding from the rest of the world. She began acting as a way to take on another personality in the hopes of figuring out how she could navigate the world. She shares stories of the time child protective services came, not because of the hoarding, but because of a lie she told, and the terror her parents felt because they knew she’d be taken away if CPS saw their home. She talks about the multiple surgeries her mother had, and how after each one the family faced more challenges. She talks about her nightmares and her need for her own place that is clean and under her control.

      I really enjoyed this book. I think Ms. Miller’s writing style was vivid enough to create a mental picture in the reader’s mind without resorting to the type of sensationalism that a lesser editor might demand. She was allowed to tell her story, which is largely shaped by her experience with her parents and the hoarding, yes, but that isn’t everything about her. Ultimately I found this book to be about family, and how people do the best they can with what they have. After reading this book I find myself feeling affection towards Ms. Miller’s parents, and admiration for Ms. Miller’s ability to share her story in such a gracious way.
    • 4/5
      Thanks to Hoarders we all know about hoarding, and most of us have a visceral reaction to it. Miller lived through it, growing up with two hoarding parents. Her farther was the main hoarder, but after a failed operation left her bedridden, Miller's mother developed a shopping habit. As a teenager Miller lived in a home with no heat and water, where she couldn't shower, flush the toilet, or cook. There was a layer of swampy sludge on the floor. As a college student Miller attempted suicide. As an adult she becomes a compulsive cleaner. This memoir is a stark account of the human cost of hoarding. It's hard not to feel badly for Miller. As an adult, however, Miller becomes an enabler. She regularly cleans her parents' house. When they move, they whine until she agrees to pack and clean for them. I was never clear on how Miller's parents had enough money to sustain their hoarding: her father is a school bus driver, her mother is disabled. In addition to the constant shopping, they eat out because they can't cook at home, they buy new clothes because they can't use their washing machine. I was fascinated by how one could finance such a habit on small salaries. Miller certainly has plenty on her plate. She's her parents' only child. There's no resolution to this memoir. By the end Miller's parents haven't sought help. I really feel for her, but she really has to stop cleaning her parents' house.
    • 3/5
      The author tells of growing up with her hoarder parents on the south shore of long island.
    • 4/5
      Sometimes our house is cluttered with toys, sports equipment, mail and newspapers, dirty dishes, laundry, etc. I tend to get tense and stressed until everything gets put away and taken care of. This kind of clutter is nothing compared to the kind of clutter, filth, and horrendous conditions that Miller grew up in. Miller's father was a lover of all papers and electronics (working or not) and would pile them up into all corners of the house from floor to ceiling. After a difficult surgery, her mother was confined to bed and became a compulsive shopper, often times never even opening the boxes of merchandise that was constantly being delivered to their home. In COMING CLEAN, Miller recounts her childhood growing up being ashamed to live in squalor.I found her story fascinating, riveting, and heart breaking. Her childhood of never having sleepovers, not being able to sit on furniture or even the floor, and yet having parents who loved and supported her were such oxymorons."Every night before I went to sleep, I would conjure the image of the actor George Burns in my head and ask him for the things I wanted most in life: new dolls, a best friend, and for my house to burn down." Page 36As an adult, Miller believes that each time she cleans her parents' house out, it will stay clean...until the next time. She constantly feels like she can fix her parents and becomes physically and psychology exhausted and overwhelmed. As a reader you want to scream at her for constantly going back and yet understand her desire to care for her parents and their needs. Reading this book will make you look at the clutter in your home in a whole new way.
    • 3/5
      I thought this book was, quite simply, a love story between a daughter and her deeply flawed parents. Beautiful.
    • 4/5
      Thanks to the popularity of reality television, there are few people these days who are unaware of the term 'hoarding' or 'hoarder'. But when Kimberly Rae Miller was growing up, the term was not as well known. Kimberly is the child of hoarders. And she's sharing her story in her memoir Coming Clean. I chose to listen to Coming Clean. The author herself read the book and this only served to intensify her story. Kimberly's father saved information - papers of all sorts, unable to throw anything out. Over the years, the paper (and more) overtakes their home, the pipes burst, the front door won't fully open, they're living with rats, bugs, filth, feces - and only discovered after they move, a stranger in the attic. Her mother became a compulsive shopper, only adding to the mix and the mess. Miller has fond memories of her childhood - she is a much loved child. But as a child Kim had no idea that their family was 'different'. Slowly she comes to the realization - and knows that she has to keep her home life a secret. As time passes, the hoarding takes a toll, both mentally and physically, on Kim and her parents. Still, they are unable to stop collecting. Miller expresses her story with honesty and candor, sharing her hopes, fears, and attempts to forge her own life, while still caring for her parents. "We see people with a mental illness living their worst nightmare on TV because they’re desperate for help and will put themselves in that situation. Of course it’s a spectacle. But as a child of a hoarder, I can show this through eyes of love. I love my parents." Coming clean was an eye opening account and an excellent listen. Frightening, heart-breaking and real.
    • 4/5
      This a very moving true story of a girl who grew up with parents who were extreme hoarders. She shares the heartbreaking details of growing up in a rat infested home, filled with stacks of aging newspapers, broken computers and radios and useless junk collected by her father, and boxes of unopened merchandise that was a result of her mothers shopping addiction.Her childhood was consumed by hiding her family's shameful secret from friends, and the emotional burdens led her to attempt suicide in her late teens.This was a heartbreaking story to read; no child should have to live in those conditions. Despite growing up in filth and squalor, the author still felt very much loved by her parents, and she loved them too. Even after she moved out as an adult, she spent countless hours, and even spent almost all of the money in her savings account, cleaning for her parents when they were in danger of eviction or when it was time to move.I knew someone that was a hoarder; I don't remember when it started, but I remember how her house looked when I was a young teenager. At that time, I didn't know there was a name for that condition, or that hoarding was an illness. I just thought this person was an extremely messy housekeeper. I applaud the author for her honesty and courage in telling her story, about an illness that even though it is more out in the open now, those suffering from it are still met with a lot of judgement and criticism. As I was reading, I wondered how many other children are growing up in homes like that, and they don't get the help they need because of shame, and/or because they do not know who to turn to for help.
    • 4/5
      Kimberly Rae Miller grew up in almost unimaginable squalor, complete with rats, fleas, and unusable kitchens and bathrooms. The author's parents couldn't help themselves; their homes were overrun with her hoarder father's "papers" and junk and her depressed mother's unnecessary, often unopened online purchases. It's a sad story--it's clear that Miller had to take the role of "parent" to her own parents from a young age--but it is leavened with humor in places and has a happy ending. Miller is remarkably free of bitterness and it is clear that she loves her mom and dad despite their issues. One nagging question remains, however: how did the family cope with the economic burdens of their lifestyle, which involved eating out every night because the kitchen was inaccessible and unsanitary, and discarding dirty clothes and buying new ones rather than doing laundry?
    • 4/5
      Well, I'm going to clean up after myself!
    • 3/5
      I've often thought that some members of my mother's side of the family might be hoarders. They collect things in large quantities and have items tucked into strange places that they never knew they had. I find that I have ended up with piles and piles of books that I will never have time to read and subscribe to more magazines then I will ever have time to read and have enough "extra" shampoo lying around that I will probably never have to buy it again.
      However, after reading this book I know that no one in my family is a true hoarder. The author, who grew up as the only child of a father who was a hoarder and a mother who enabled his hoarding describes a new house the family purchased that slowly, over the course of her adolescent years became unlivable. The boiler broke but her parents were too embarrassed to have someone in to see their filth so it was never repaired and they didn't have hot water. The kitchen was so dirty that they could not have fresh food because of all of the bugs and so only ate take out or food that was sealed. The pipes leaked and the floor developed a squishy texture of water and debris. Clearly, I do not know any hoarders. I know people who enjoy stuff. People a bit more like the author's mother who takes refuge during her depression in the thrill of online shopping. But not hoarders, who are willing sacrifice their health, their safety and the safety of their children to surround themselves in ever growing piles of stuff.
      The thing that really impressed me about this book is that Miller managed to describe the horrors of growing up with her parents and the continued frustration of her father's mental illness, while at the same time making a very convincing case that her parents were caring and loving people who did the best job they could raising her. Miller does not try to villainize her parents.
      I would recommend this book to anyone who likes autobiographies as well as anyone who is interested in mental illness.