The paradox of acceptance

Whatever challenging situation you might be facing right now — whether you’re going through an illness, a relationship breakdown, grieving or grappling with the changes that come with parenting, ageing or COVID-19 — is resistance holding you back and keeping you unhappy?

While resistance can be a good thing when your actions can change the outcome or the future, that’s not always the case. When you become stuck in unchangeable situations, it can feel like life is happening to you and that you have lost your agency and power to direct your life. You may struggle to see solutions and feel positive and hopeful.

It makes sense that we resist the things we wish were different, that we ruminate on the things we wish we could go back and change and we grieve the things that are no more. While it’s normal to want to resist unwelcome change, resistance can create more pain and suffering.

The struggle to accept things in life arises from the tension that exists between where you are now and where you want to be. Tension also arises when what has happened is not what you wanted to happen. It’s this inability to accept change in your life that can