Psychologies

Grief is the price we pay for love

“You need to find a way of engaging with life, so your grief does not overwhelm you”

No one is immune from life’s losses and they are an unavoidable part of the human experience but, despite knowing that intellectually, nothing can prepare you for the seismic loss of a loved one. ‘The task psychologically is to both face the death, and find a way of living with it,’ says Julia Samuel, a therapist specialising in grief and the author of This Too Shall Pass (Penguin, £14.99).

‘Your loss may be of a more complex nature – someone you you have strong feelings. You need to find a way of accommodating loss while still engaging with life, so grief doesn’t overwhelm you. Part of that is to remember that the person may be gone but love never dies.’

Samuel cites another type of grief, which she calls ‘living losses’. ‘These include divorce or losing your job. Loss also features in events that are usually seen as positive, such as committing to a new relationship, having a child or your offspring getting married. All of those changes require an

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