barefacts

Monday
12 March 2007
Published by the
USSU Comms Office
Issue Number 1110
FREE
www.ussu.co.uk

The University of Surrey Students’ Newspaper

In this 24
page edition Construction begins on
Vice-Chancellor’s new citadel
BY PETE NATTRESS The citadel itself is due to be constructed on including Worshipping Techniques, Kneeling
NOT NEWS EDITOR the current site of the Austin Pearce building. Positions and Citadel Construction. Exams
Marcus Himself was personally present for the will continue, however, students achieving less
CONSTRUCTION WORK BEGAN today on our demolition of the building, which was carried than a ninety percent average will be executed
WHAT’S ON THIS glorious leader’s luxurious new citadel, out with dozens of foolish students still inside. in front of their families. “Failure to yield to my
FORTNIGHT? cementing His position as our rightful “I am eliminating these extraneous places of rule shall not be tolerated! All shall yield or face
GRAPEVINE | and omnipotent commander-in-chief. The learning,” he declared. “The only learning my godly wrath!” stated Marcus in a memo to
structure, which is planned to be over 300 which needs to be performed henceforth examiners. Students caught having fun in any
PAGES 11 & 14 meters in height, will allow our omniscient is learning how to yield to my iron rule!” way will also face severe punishments. NUS
master to constantly observe us as we go Resistance to the rise of our righteous new president Trisha Goldberg stated that she
about our subservient duties. It will be wrought leader has been weak and short-lived. Only thought Marcus was setting a good example
out of the darkest iron, forged in the fires of a handful of traitors spoke out against the for other universities to follow. “This hands-
Hell itself, with a resonance of evil which will rise of Marcus, all of whom have since been on attitude towards student welfare is just
make His enemies quake in their treacherous ‘disciplined’. “All shall sing my praises and the sort of thing the NUS wants to see from
NAVEED BARAKZAI boots. It will also contain a games room. kneel before me,” shouted Marcus from his other, less active Vice-Chancellors,” she said.
LOOKS AT THE CAUSES & His Great Highness, Marcus Trevail the First, temporary office on the top floor of Rubix. All students are commanded to report
came to power last week in a bloody coup Students have been ordered to learn a tribute to the site of the Citadel on Monday
SYMPTOMS OF DEPRESSION
in which the incumbent Vice-Chancellor was song to Marcus, the first lines of which are as morning at 5am to commence the
COMMENT | PAGE 5 overthrown and promptly defenestrated, as follows: “Oh great Marcus Trevail / Whilst he construction process. YIELD OR DIE!
is the ancient protocol with regards to Vice- leads us we shall never fail /There is no man who
Chancellorship. “He was a weak man,” decried is better / Say otherwise and you’re a traitor”. This is most certainly
Marcus the Wise. “He laboured under the An insubordinate linguist was blasphemous NOT NEWS!
misapprehension that a university is a place of enough to suggest
education. My primary undertaking will be to that ‘better’ does not
undo all the treacherous work he has done.” rhyme with ‘traitor’,
In his first diktat as Vice-Chancellor, Marcus to which the cunning
assumed control over all aspects of student Marcus responded,
media, but in his wisdom has allowed barefacts “The English language
to remain impartial and unbiased by his new will yield to my rule!”
SABBATICAL ELECTION & rule. Marcus the Brave also dissolved the The linguist concerned
USSU, forcing the President into exile before will no longer speak
REFERENDUM RESULTS boldly proclaiming that “the last remnants ill of Marcus. Or
NEWS | PAGE 2 of the old Union have been swept away.” walk, for that matter.
To complement our master’s marvellous Marcus’s new leadership
new citadel, other alterations have been made is introducing changes
RAG WEEK SPECIAL around the Surrey campus. The water in the to every course
CENTRE PULLOUT lake has been replaced with the sacrificial blood currently offered
of a thousand unbelievers, Chancellors has at Surrey. In lieu of
been turned into a shrine to the Trevail Family, their regular degree
and several academic buildings have been programmes, students
demolished in preparation for the construction will all now experience
of a 100 foot gold effigy of the noble Marcus. a fixed curriculum An artist’s impression of the VC’s new citadel

RAG Week Special

BY JOSH BATES raises money and gives it to deserving causes. commitment. Plus the opportunity to meet
SURREY DOES ‘DAM DEPUTY EDITOR Welcome to the 2006-07 offering of bad new people, satisfaction from helping others
taste humour (see above) from barefacts and and gain various difference experiences!
LAST CHANCE TO RAG nowadays is an acronym for Raising And the students of the University of Surrey. It’s not too late to get involved - just pop
BOOK! | PAGE 20 Giving, whereby, in simple terms, everybody RAG is entirely voluntary, there is no set time into the Students’ Union to find out more...

RAG WEEK SPECIAL | WARNING - THIS IS NOT NEWS ** WARNING -- THIS IS NOT NEWS ** WARNING - THIS IS NOT NEWS

2 12 March 2007
All Change at USSU
BY JOSH BATES
DEPUTY EDITOR
THE RESULTS OF the elections held over the past few weeks
for the sabbatical positions at the Students’ Union were
announced on Friday 2nd March to a nervous audience.
1290 voted, approximately a mere 10% of the student
populous of Surrey, despite the fact the number of positions
available for the 2007-08 sabbatical team had increased from
four to five in light of the recent split of the traditional VP
Education & Welfare role into two positions.
This year, a particular point of contention surrounded
the elections of VP Education, VP Welfare and VP Sport &
Recreation. Due to a drop in nominations, students only had
the choice to Re-Open Nominations (RON) or one real
candidate for the three positions; although the latter was only
uncontested due to two dropouts during the campaign.
In what is thought to have been an unprecedented move,
Paul Follows, a second year Politics student co-ordinated a
vigorous RON campaign, even speaking on behalf of RON at
the Sabbatical Candidates Question Time on Wednesday 21st
March in Chancellors. Follows’ associated Facebook group,
The Great RON Campaign @ Surrey, claimed that “having
just one candidate leads to voter apathy, or worse still, the
wrong person getting into office”. The increased amounts
of RON votes to the three positions have been credited
to the campaign, which encouraged students to vote RON
on in order to instigate a second election involving multiple
candidates. Just under a fifth of all valid votes for the three
positions were cast in favour of RON.
The new VP Societies & Individual Development role was
Referendum Results
BY ANNE ABEYGUNASEKERA
DEPUTY EDITOR
RECENTLY HELD
REFERENDUMS by the
Students’ Union
came out in favour
of the NUS and
the Fairtrade. Two
referendums were
conducted from
the 27th February
till the 1st March.
The first of which
is regarding the
USSU’s affiliation
with the National Union of Students (NUS). The other was
the University’s Fairtrade policy. There was a majority vote in
support of the USSU staying affiliated with the NUS, ensuring
continuous benefits from the numerous services that a
national union membership provides.As far as the University’s
STOP THE PRESS!
The next edition of barefacts will be the LAST for this year. This will be your last opportunity to
submit anything you want published. Issue 1111 will come out on Monday 30th April
(Week 12) and all submissions should be made by Monday 23rd April (Week 11).
NEWS
Left-to-right: Mike, Zeph, Gems & Alex
taken by Mark ‘Zeph’ Griffiths, the USSU Executive’s current
Student Experience Officer and twice Societies Officer (2004-
2006). Griffiths’ has been heavily involved with the Students’
Union in his time at Surrey, not only as a member of the
Union Executive but also Stage Crew and St. John’s LINKS.
Sophia Hawkins and Mike Blakeney, both second year
Politics students were elected as VP Educaiton and VP Welfare
respectively. Hawkins and Blakeney are currently Editor and
News Editor of barefacts itself.
Gemma Leaming, a final year Psychology student amd
current Chairlady of the University of Surrey Hockey Club,
was elected VP Sport & Recreation.
Final year Business Management student Alex Collins,
former Academics Affairs Officer on the Union Executive
2004-05 and active member of the GU2 Radio Station, was
elected as Union President.
Significantly, all successful candidates reached their vote
quota leading to none of the second or third preference votes
made in the Single Transferable Vote system being counted.
Fairtrade policy is concerned, 86% voted in favour, giving the
choice of purchasing more Fairtrade products in university
premises. The Union Executive voted against the Fairtrade
policy whilst agreeing with the NUS affiliation.
NUS Affiliation & Fairtrade
Referendum Results
NUS AFFILIATION
Papers received: 1290
Valid papers: 1071
Yes: 943 (88%) | No: 128 (12%)
UNIVERSITY FAIRTRADE POLICY
Papers received: 1289
Valid papers: 1009
Yes: 868 (86%) | No: 141 (14%)
bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
“joshfacts sophfacts NEWS
12 March 2007 3
University funding to rise by 6.4%
Sabbatical Election Results BY JOSH BATES interest for previously struggling science and maths subjects.
DEPUTY EDITOR Applications for engineering degrees were up by more than
UNION PRESIDENT 43.1%, physics 47.8%, biological science-based subjects 97.7%
Papers received: 1290 THE HIGHER EDUCATION Funding Council for England (HEFCE) and maths 43.8%. Nationwide, the rise is not as sizeable with
Valid papers: 1125 | Quota required: 563 has announced that universities in England will share £7.14 applications up by an average 6.4% with similar figures for
Michael Anton: 371 | Alex Collins: 661 billion for research, teaching, vulnerable subjects and special other vulnerable subjects.
Reopen Nominations: 93 funding in the coming year. The funding application is 6.4% “This extra funding was a response to some of the
VP EDUCATION more than last year and enough to fund an extra 33,000 pressures that high-cost disciplines face,” Prof Eastwood said.
Papers received: 1290 places for full-time students. Almost £1.41 billion will go on “The issues for vulnerable subjects vary. In some places it is
Valid papers: 902 | Quota required: 451 research, which is an increase of 5.4% on last year. Top-rated cost and in others it is demand.”
Mike Blakeney: 701 | Reopen Nominations: 201 departments at 23 universities will receive the bulk of the He acknowledged that teaching “remained under-funded”,
cash. but said that this would be reconsidered next year and that
VP WELFARE participation, £738m for capital grants and £449m for “special
In an attempt to fund and encourage the study of chemistry, the current “recovery” was particularly encouraging.
Papers received: 1290 funding”.
engineering and physics, institutions will receive an extra £75 He continued: “The position for teaching is much better
Valid papers: 902 | Quota required: 451 HEFCE’s Chief Executive, Professor David Eastwood,
million over the next three years. Due to waning popularity than it was ten years ago. Institutions need to be as efficient
Sophia Hawkins: 720 | Reopen Nominations: 182 commented: “This is a good settlement for universities and
amongst these subjects in recent years, the extra cash as they can. The fact that universities will have tuition fee
colleges, providing both stability in terms of their forward
injection from the government is a recognition that they are income puts them in a substantially better position.”
VP SOCIETIES & INDIVIDUAL DEVELOPMENT planning and a healthy rate of growth at a period which
expensive to teach. None of the sums for university funding include the money
Papers received: 1290 otherwise would have been unhelpfully turbulent. Almost all
Teaching and research funding totals £5.8 billion, making institutions currently receive from student tuition fees of up
Valid papers: 1024 | Quota required: 512 institutions will receive an uplift in their grants of 2% and
up part of an overall package of £7.1 billion, which also to £3,000 a year.
Mark ‘Zeph’ Griffiths: 583 | Madiha Latif: 349 many will receive substantially more.”
includes £23 million this year for vulnerable subjects, plus
Reopen Nominations: 92 The latest figures show a 39.2% rise in Surrey university
a further £1.26 billion to be allocated at a later date. This bf.newsdesk@surrey.ac.uk
applications for the next academic year and a revival of
includes money for such things as £5m to towards widening
VP SPORT & RECREATION
Former Editor mugged near Tesco
Papers received: 1290
Valid papers: 947 | Quota required: 474
Gemma Leaming: 747 | Reopen Nominations: 200
BY JOSH BATES mugging on the Ashenden side of the Tesco underpass just
barefacts would like to congratulate the new sabbatical team
DEPUTY EDITOR outside the University campus. The Computing graduate,
on their election, who will be beginning an intense handover
who has been campaigning for a CCTV campaign in
process with the current sabbatical team in June.
BETWEEN 8PM AND 8:15pm on the evening of Friday 23rd that underpass for the past four years through his
February, Chris Ward, twice non-consecutive Editor involvement with the Students’ Union and barefacts,
Do you have a
complaint against this newspaper?
If you have a complaint about any item in this newspaper which contains
of barefacts and former Students’ Union Ethics & Equal lost his work laptop to the two muggers and although
Opportunities Officer, was the unfortunate victim of a relatively unscathed, received a strain to the neck
when his laptop bag was pulled off him.
editorial team
inaccuracy, harassment, intrusion or discrimination write to our editor about it. The latest attack highlights the minimal
If you remain dissatisfied please contact the Press Complaints Commission - an
improvements made is simply not good
independant organisation established to uphold an editorial Code of Practice
for the Press. This newspaper will abide by their decision. 2006-07 enough. The assailants ran towards
Southway, where a camera is supposed to
Press Complaints Commission EDITOR | SOPHIA HAWKINS | ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
1 Salisbury Square have been installed also. It has been installed, better lighting, CCTV cameras and security facilities.
London
Please send article submissions and enquiries to the relevant contact
and of course it was done during election Chris Ward said, “A camera in this underpass is well
EC4Y 8JB
Telephone: 020 7353 1248 given below. If you do not receive a response, please contact the Editor!
year in 2005. Had the camera actually overdue, and I fear it’s going to take a much more
Facsimile: 020 7353 8351 been manned, it may have caught a glimpse serious incident than the one I experienced for the
DEPUTY EDITOR (DESIGN) | JOSH BATES | cs52jb@surrey.ac.uk of the people who attacked Mr Ward. Borough Council to finally act on it. I will continue
Printed by Surrey and Berkshire Media Limited
Stoke Mill House, DEPUTY EDITOR (SUBMISSIONS) | ANNE ABEYGUNASEKERA | eep1aa@ Many years ago, barefacts and the USSU campaigning for this with my colleague Councillor Tony
Woking Road, Guildford, DEPUTY EDITOR (PROMOTIONS) | TOBY SHANNON | ph51ts@surrey.ac.uk jointly began the ‘Lights Camera Action’ Phillips as well as a bus to take students to Manor
Surrey,
campaign following several incidents in Park post Union evenings, and I ask all students to
GU1 1QA NEWS EDITOR | MIKE BLAKENEY | bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
the underpasses surrounding the campus be very cautious when they are out alone at night.”
ARTS EDITOR | PATRICK HUNTER | bf.arts@gmail.com
back in 2003. The campaign was set up to
barefacts is an editorially independent newspaper and is published by the ARTS EDITOR | JAKE SOUTH | bf.arts@gmail.com
University of Surrey Students’ Union Communications Office. put pressure on the local council to install bf.newsdesk@gmail.com
FEATURES EDITOR | SOPHIE IREDALE | bf.features@gmail.com
FEATURES EDITOR | SAFFRON WREAKES | bf.features@gmail.com Mens Football Club
Notifications
The views expressed within the paper are those of individual authors and do
not necessarily represent the views of the Editor, the University of Surrey
PG TIPS EDITOR | MARY YIP | m.yip@surrey.ac.uk AGM
Students’ Union or the University of Surrey. This publication may not be
reproduced in whole or in part, stored in any form, copied or distributed, SCIENCE EDITOR | ALAN TERRY | bf.science@yahoo.co.uk Saturday 17th March
without the express permission of the publisher beforehand. All submissions SOCIETIES EDITOR | ELEANOR TYLER | bf.societies@gmail.com barefacts Weekly Meeting, Squash Courts Seminar Room
must include the author’s name and Union or Staff Number. Mondays, 6pm, Union Committee Room Varsity Centre
SPORTS EDITOR | MATT CHEETHAM | bf.sport@gmail.com
SPORTS EDITOR | ANTHONY HANSON | bf.sport@gmail.com starting at 5.30pm
Submission is no guarantee of publication. Student Assembly & USSU AGM
PUZZLELORD | COLIN EVERETT | ma41ce@surrey.ac.uk Thursday March 15 2007 Only those with USSU Sports Club
Anonymous and Pseudonymous articles will not be published.
barefacts reserves the right to edit submissions.
COPY EDITOR | PAUL SANDERSON | li31ps@surrey.ac.uk 6pm, Rubix
http://www.ussu.co.uk/ and fully paid
Membership
Participation Fees can attend,
WEBMASTER | PETE NATTRESS | cs51pn@surrey.ac.uk
See the web site for more details stand for election, or vote.
Please direct all equiries to the relevant section Editor.
MARKETING CO-ORIDNATOR | AARON SALINS | a.salins@surrey.ac.uk Details from Steve Cottingham,
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
WWW.USSU.CO.UK
EDITOR-IN-CHIEF | GREG SCOTT | ussu.president@surrey.ac.uk Club Secretary at li51sc@surrey.ac.uk
© USSU COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE 2007

4 12 March 2007
Letters to barefacts
Letters must be received by midday on Friday 23rd March to guarantee
their presence in the next newspaper. Letters may be edited for length or clarity.
ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Tick tock, ticked off
Dear barefacts,
I am writing to you mainly to question the effectiveness
of the new USSU website. It has been a constant problem
for me trying to register on it and when I finally get on I
immediateley am lost by the labyrinth of the link menu; some
of which end in dead ends. As if this wasn’t bad enough when
I try to actually get on the website its often down and I get
a php database error. Did this website really need to change,
did it not perform well enough before?
Was this website released in a rush because it was already
later than its promised arrival?
One final thing that “ticks me off” as my good friend Scott
says, is the mis-spelling of the word “your”and “you’re”. It
might alright to mix it up on MSN messenger but there’s
no excuse for getting it wrong in barefacts. See the “polite
notice” at the back of issue 1109.
RODO
Union President, Greg Scott, responds:
Let me start by saying “YES!” the website most certainly
did need a change! The old system we were using was
exceptionally difficult to use and therefore much of the
information was significantly out of date because it was
difficult (if not impossible) to update.
But, you are correct.The website was released in a rush.The
initial company we were planning to work with fell through
at the last minute due to unfulfilled promises of capabilities
that we realised would never exist. So we went with another
College students face diplomatic challenge at UniS
BY BEN MILLER
STUDENTS FROM FIVE further education colleges in the south
east of England are coming together for an opportunity
to experience what it’s like being a high level diplomat
for the United Nations (UN) in a mock UN meeting at
the University of Surrey. The UK’s highest representative
to the UN during the first Gulf War and the genocide
in Rwanda, Lord Hannay, will be attending the event at
the University on Tuesday 27 March 2007, putting the
students’ learning and experiences into perspective.
The mock UN meeting is the culmination of the ‘UN at
UniS’ project, which has given participants key transferable
skills that will prepare them for the day, and for work and
life, such as negotiating, compromising, consensus building
and persuading. Students have learnt about politics, the UN
and how they affect their lives and introduced to substantive
political issues, involving international decision making.
The project is being run by the Department of Political,
International and Policy Studies at the University of Surrey
and is comprised of a number of events at the students’
colleges, online activities, and a final mock UN meeting. The
event also has the strong support from Minister of State at
the Foreign and Commonwealth Office, Dr Kim Howells.
LETTERS
company at the last minute, delayed the launch for several
weeks and have been trying to catch up ever since. Every
page has been transferred from the old website to this new
one and more have been built since, but we’re getting there.
We have had reports of login problems, bugs in the forums
and some other issues, and they are all being addressed by
our provider.
But what will make this site a success, is the sports club
and society news and events that THEY control go directly
on the front page of the Union website. Therefore, every day,
new information about what is going on around campus can
be seen instantly on the main page.
For everyone else out there, if you haven’t already, register
yourself an account at www.ussu.co.uk and let us know
what you think!
barefacts Deputy Editor, Josh Bates, responds:
Thank you for your letter concerning the USSU web site and
what “ticks you off”. The confusion of “your” and “you’re”
is often annoying to many, including myself who was indeed
responsible for this appalling error at the bottom of the back
of issue 1109. I find it up there with the misuse of “its” and
“it’s”. See the first paragraph of the letter you just submitted
to this very issue, plus the mistake in your penultimate
sentence which should read: “It might be alright...” etc.
I guess it just goes to exemplify further that we are all
subject to spelling flaws, whether it is on MSN Messenger or
even when writing in to the student newspaper to complain,
ironically, about typos.
The making of barefacts is an extremely lengthy process
that takes many hours week in, week out as any member of
the Editorial Team would tell you. We never claim perfection
Numerous students and staff from Surrey Uni will be
involved with the UN meeting, where students from the
colleges will learn about the views and positions of other
countries around the world on key political issues, enabling
them to see alternative perspectives. Participants will take on
the role of a country which they must negotiate and debate
for, where millions of people will be relying on their skills to
come up with solutions to some of the world’s most pressing
problems, while at the same time building consensus and
persuading other countries to come to an agreement. Surrey
“joshfacts
and actively encourage those with an interest to take part
in making the paper better. After all, barefacts is made by
students for students and without the team behind it, or even
the one-off submissions, it would be nothing.
JOSH BATES, ACTING EDITOR FOR ISSUE 1109
Help us Help
Children with Cancer
Dear barefacts,
Rob Conetta and Kathy Beresford from the Institute of
Sound Recording are taking part in the Bath Half Marathon to
raise money for CLIC Sargent, a UK based charity that cares
for children and young people with cancer.
In our bid to raise £500 for this worthy cause, we are
hosting an evening of live jazz music featuring musicians
from the university. This takes place on 22nd March 2007 at
Wates House. In addition to providing great music and a fun
atmosphere we will be holding a raffle with some great prizes
to be won!
Please come along and support us on the night – entry
is free and everyone is welcome. Just bring plenty of spare
change! For more information about the 22nd March or if
you would like to be involved please contact Rob or Kathy.
(r.conetta@surrey.ac.uk & k.beresford@surrey.ac.uk)
Alternatively sponsor us at:
www.justgiving.com/kathyberesfordbathhalf
www.justgiving.com/robconetta
All proceeds from this event will go to CLIC Sargent (Visit
www.clicsargent.co.uk for more information).
students will be taking on various roles for the day including
Chair of the Committees, where they will help participants
come up with, and pass, a UN resolution on some of the
most pressing matters facing the world at present such as
the Israeli/Palestinian situation and the nuclear issue in Iran.
Dr. Rachel Brooks, the project leader, said: “This project
has brought the relevance and importance of international
political issues to life for the students in an engaging and
informative manner. Students will come away empowered by
the project as they’ll be exposed to challenging situations and
will be equipped with relevant skills to help them in their lives.”
The aim of this ‘UN at UniS’ project is to encourage
students to continue their studies and increase their
aspirations in life. It offers participants the chance to reflect
on their learning and to contribute to various evaluation
and dissemination activities, making it an engaging, inclusive
and democratic project. ‘UN at UniS’ is funded by the
university’s widening access fund and contributes to the
university’s wider aim of encouraging those who have
been traditionally under-represented in higher education
to progress to university and continue their studies.
bf.newsdesk@surrey.ac.uk
sophfacts
12 March 2007
Know Yourself - Understand Yourself
With the launch of the Students’ Unions Know Yourself campaign across campus last fortnight, Naveed Barakzai
takes a look at the causes and symptoms of depression and where to go for help.
BY NAVEED BARAKZAI
DEPRESSION IS CONSIDERED the “Common cold of psychiatry”
and is in fact the most common condition seen by GPs in
the UK with the exception of high blood pressure. Over
24.3 million prescriptions for anti-depressants were written
in England in 2001 valued at £342 million, and depression is
likely to affect 25% of us at some point in our lives. So just
what does depression mean, and what can you do about it?
Clinical depression is typically characterised by an inability
to experience pleasure along with difficulty in concentrating,
coupled with sleep and appetite disturbance as well as other
sad, lonely, or perhaps guilty feelings. It is not just about
feeling down – we all feel down sometimes but it doesn’t
mean we are depressed – but it is about a serious change in
the way our mind and body is operating. What is typical in
the diagnosis of depression is the sustenance of these feelings
over a period of some time, and being able to recognise the
symptoms in other people is therefore really important. At
any time about 10% of the people around you are likely to be
suffering from depression and they will need specialist medical
help and advice. Depression might now be quite common,
but it doesn’t take a day off and some Lemsip to cure it.
Depression is an illness that can afflict absolutely anyone,
whatever their circumstances. Charlie Waller was strong,
good looking, intelligent, had a wonderful partner, a loving
family, loads of friends and a good position in a job he loved.
He decided the only way out of the hell he was living in was
to kill himself. Charlie was the life and soul of the party,
but unknown to almost all of his friends and family, the
party had stopped being fun. He experienced huge mood
swings but no-one saw the warnings signs or clicked that
something might be wrong, until Charlie took his own life.
There are three main points of view about the cause of
Depression
The Warning Signs
Feelings of hopelessness and pessimism
Feelings of worthlessness, guilt an
helplessness
Thoughts of death or suicide
Restlessness
Irregular sleep
Decreased energy
Changes in mood
Insomnia
Difficulty making decisions
Appetite and weight loss
Persistent, sad, anxious or empty mood
Tearfulness
Learn these signs for your own safety and the safety
of others.
If you, or someone you know, experiences 4 of these
symptoms over a number of weeks seek professional
advice immediately.
COMMENT
5
Depression
Side-Effects of
Anti-Depressant
drowsiness
headache shaking
The Statistics Medications dizziness
fits / convulsions
feeling sick, vomiting inability to have an
1 in 10 of the population suffer at any given erection
abdominal pain,
time indigestion inability to have an
1 in 4 of the population will suffer at some
point in their lives
diarrhoea, constipation
loss of appetite, weight
orgasm
bruising
loss manic or hypomanic
According to a 2001 Mental Health increased appetite, behaviour
Foundation survey: weight gain abnormal movements
50% of university students showed signs of allergic reactions dry mouth
Clinical Anxiety irritability / anxiety sweating
10% of university students showed signs of sleeplessness suicidal ideas
Clinical Depression
of talking therapies, or for anti-depressants by blocking
depression, but the general consensus is that a combination
the reuptake of serotonin in the nerve synapses of
of the three is most likely to be present in a depressive.
the brain which means there is more readily available.
1) Depression is a medical disease caused by a chemical
The first step in dealing with depression is recognising that
imbalance in the brain, 2) depression is caused by certain
there’s something wrong, and then contacting someone for
styles of thinking and 3) depression is a result of unfortunate
advice. Most people will turn to their GP in the first instance,
experiences. So what can you do to treat depression?
but organisations such as the Samaritans will listen and offer
Two types of treatment are readily available, being
directions to the right services over the telephone or by email.
talking therapies or medication. The best method
Extensive information is available on the internet about
for treating depression though is a combination of
depression and tackling the many aspects of it, and the Charlie
both, which will then serve to deal with the mind
Waller Memorial Trust has recently launched Students Against
in terms of both the chemical and thinking causes.
Depression at www.studentdepression.org which is an
Talking therapies can be such as Counselling, Cognitive
excellent and informative site. For a more in-depth learning
Behavioural or Analytical Therapy (CBT/CAT), or
path try www.clinicaldepression.co.uk which takes a step-
Psychotherapy. The Student Counselling Centre in University
by-step approach to understanding and treating depression.
Court has six full time professionally qualified counsellors,
If you think that someone is suffering from depression,
and they offer individual appointments as well as running
workshops and group events. These therapies will endeavour
to analyse events and the way that you think about them,
talk to them, and get them to contact a doctor. If they
won’t, use foresight and contact a professional yourself --
because we all have perfect hindsight but by then it’s too late.
and will offer advice and support in trying to change those
thought patterns. As a simple example, if you see a friend
on the other side of the road and wave to them and they
don’t wave back, you might just think they didn’t see you. A
STUDENTS AGAINST DEPRESSION |
http://www.studentdepression.org | Detailed information
depressive might think they were being ignored on purpose
on depression and dealing with it
and feel negative about the event. Our feelings aren’t just
STUDENT COUNSELLING CENTRE |
automatic reactions to events but are shaped by the ideas
http://portal.surrey.ac.uk/scc | The UniS Counselling
that we have, and therapy tries to re-shape the negative
Service
ideas into positive ones which makes life seem worthwhile.
SAMARITANS | http://www.samaritans.org | Confidential
Anti-depressant medication has a variety of pros and cons
listening service
whilst one in particular has been featured in the press and on
MOODGYM | http://moodgym.anu.edu.au | A simple
BBC’s Panorama recently as the subject of scrutiny in cases of
online CBT package
teen suicide. Two of the most important bits of information
DEPRESSION ALLIANCE | http://www.depressionalliance.org |
that should be know about taking anti-depressants is firstly
MIND | http://www.mind.org.uk | UK Charity providing
that it will usually take around 2 weeks before you feel any
local support groups
positive results whilst for those 2 weeks you are liable to
Mental health charity, information factsheets
suffer from the side-effects, and secondly that it is usually
Raising awareness of depression and its dangers
advised that you keep taking the medication for 6 months
CHARLIE WALLER MEMORIAL TRUST | http://www.cwmt.org
after the depression has passed to help prevent relapse.
The most common side-effects encountered are gastro-
intestinal, so feeling sick, indigestion, diarrhoea and vomiting. Fancy writing a comment article? Are you capable of writing a
Both of these treatments are also working to affect good, well structured argumentative point on a controversial
the chemical imbalance of the brain by increasing subject? The next issue is your last chance - so get writing!
production of serotonin (happy hormone) in the case ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
 COMMERCIAL BREAK
“joshfacts sophfacts COMMENT & FEATURES
6 12 March 2007 12 March 2007 7

BY ANDREW RAOF
Our Tony the Lad Tony Blair, born Anthony Charles Lynton Blair, became and I honestly wouldn’t care what anyone did when they
the leader of the Labour Party in 1994, towards the end of were younger, only discredit himself. We have images of
a long reign of Tory mishaps, succeeding his predecessor, David Cameron riding bicycles, stroking dogs, and now
John Smith, who died suddenly. He read law at St John’s doing what all youngsters apparently aspire to do. Cameron
College, Oxford University, and as a student, he was a singer should seriously rethink his strategy if the next election
and guitarist for a rock band called Ugly Rumours. He was is not to be another misfortune for the Conservatives.
known to ‘crash in’ at friends’ houses when having nowhere Branding Tony Blair as “once the future” in his first attempt
to go, and for not showing the slightest bit of interest in at Prime Minister’s Questions made me laugh and picture
how to become the man controlling the United Kingdom. him as a little boy with a lollipop in his mouth, pelting the
Yet recently, a further photograph was released of Tony cabinet with tomatoes and trying to be in there with the
Blair, specially for the BBC’s Newsnight programme, making big boys. Tony Blair’s confused smile was memorable. At
an obscene gesture. This was a slight accident, compared least the latter has been honest, has not attempted to
with a picture of a much different David Cameron, in hide his past and won’t care about this photograph leaked.
1986, in which he sports his Bullingdon Club membership ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
of swish waistcoats and blue ties.
Cameron has been very secretive of
such photographs, and this particular
The mullet: business on top; party from behind.
(1989) one has been withdrawn, Bullingdon
being reputed for loutishness. It was
DESPITE HOW HE has portrayed himself in recent years, the also intended to be used by the
soon-to-be-ex Prime Minister has a side often hidden Labour Party for election purposes.
from the public eye. What we are used to hearing, So what are we left with? David
typically, are stories of corruption behind the doors of Cameron is clearly not a man he claims
Number 10, illegal wars on unjustified motives, a shift to to be. His confessions to smoking
the right wing and a regurgitated questioning on whether cannabis whilst at Eton College
democracy in the United Kingdom is indeed working. are little more than an attempt at
Yet although Tony Blair has ruined his legacy in winning support from ‘New Tories’
numerous ways, and, of course, left a shining example (that is in my eyes: supporters of
in others, in my opinion, this prime minister should younger generations), which, although Is the chap there on the back row, towards the right, our Prime
Minister,Tony Blair?
not leave without his hidden side being known. everyone is entitled to a private life,

barefacts Miss the food page last issue? Then here are some
recipes to whet your appetite!

RECIPES e B r o w n i es
Chocola t
Joes
nuts)
/p e cans/hazle olids)
100g Nuts
(w a ln u ts
t le a s t 7 5 % cocoa s
hocolate (a
50g Dark C
r
110g Butte
g g s, beaten
2 large e r
lated suga
225g granu
our
50g plain fl

ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
en Syrup
1 tbsp Gold

Send in your recipes:

s
c h o c olate drop
S o m e wl over
m a rie (in a bo
Huge Savings on Flirt Merchandise th e D a rk Chocola
te in a b a in
M e lt
now in the Union Shop. simmering
water).
o m th e h e at and stir in
olate fr
Buy yours b4 its too late!!! e the choc
Once melt
e d , re m
redients.
o v
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all other ing
s q u a re baking tin. Tune into The Jamie and Oliver show, Monday evenings 6-8 on
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Put mixture 0 . Th ey should b
e GU2, as we unravel the universe of food and random banter. With
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crusty on th food….Not to mention great music!!

8 12 March 2007
Agony Sisters To The Rescue
Playing Away?
THE PROBLEM:
I think my boyfriend may be having an affair, but I’m not sure.
He is always “working” late and at silly times (like overnight
stocktakes), and when he thinks I’m at University and I
come home early, he is no where to be seen and doesn’t
answer his phone. I’m worried because I love him and can’t
imagine life without him. We’ve been going out forever
and I don’t think he has done anything like this before, so
am I just being paranoid? I don’t want to ask him in case
he hates me for it and thinks I don’t trust him. Please help.
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
Well, I think you have some insecurities you need to sort
out. Have you ever been cheated on before? Because that
may be the reason why you are so paranoid now. He may
be working those silly hours, but as long as he is spending
the wage on you, enjoy the alone time! If you are that
worried though, get his work number (say you want it
for emergencies or something) and try calling him whilst
meant to be at work…if he’s not there, then you have
a problem, but he is probably totally innocent so give him
the benefit of the doubt until you have hard core evidence.
SISTER SAFFRON SAYS:
Definately sounds a bit dodge to me! Have you asked him
where he is when youre trying to call him and he’s not
answering? You dont have to mention anything about cheating
Surrey Stud Campus Honey
Name:
Alex Hobbs
Age:
22
Status:
Single ‘ish’
Course:
Business
Management
Favourite
Colour:
Purple
Hobbies:
Waterpolo, occasional nudity, drinking.
Any Other Comment:
“Message to the people (Quite appropriate for anyone
in dissertation and coursework hell right now): Without
experiencing the lows in life, you will never appreciate the
highs!”
surrey_stud@hotmail.co.uk
FEATURES
just casually drop it into conversation! Have you gone
through his mobile to check for text messages from other
people? Always a good way of checking things out I find. Just
be warned if you go looking you might not like what you see!
Annoying Girlfriend!
THE PROBLEM:
I think I am fed up with my girlfriend. I have been going
out with her for two years and every so often have
doubts, but now I am really in a slump with her. I am just
finding the things she does annoys me, but I’m living with
her and it would be awkward to break up now. Plus, it’s
sex on tap! What should I do? Move out or stick with it?
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
Dump her and move on! You can’t stay with someone
just because you may not get laid for a long time if you
break up! If she annoys you, and you’ve felt like this
before, then there doesn’t seem to be much future
and you’re heart doesn’t really seem in it. So, let her go
(gently), remain friends and maybe you can still have sex
on tap! But definitely don’t stay with her in my opinion. .
SISTER SAFFRON SAYS:
Hold on a bit mister....you say you only think youre fed up
with her, that doesn’t sound too definate to me. Everyone has
doubts every now and then, have you spoken to her about
her annoying habits? Noones perfect luv and i’m sure you do
Name:
Cat Deredas
Age:
18
Status:
Single
Course:
Business Management
Favourite
Colour:
Pink
Hobbies:
Clubbing, socialising with friends, going to gigs, music,
drawing and writing lyrics
Any Other Comment:
‘‘If you don’t have any money, take your broke ass home’’
If you fancy hooking up with the Surrey Stud or the Campus
Honey then email:
surrey_stud@hotmail.co.uk
“joshfacts
things that annoy her too! Maybe a bit of compromise is in
order, and you never know you might find you can give your
relationship a new lease of life.
I’m so Stressed!
THE PROBLEM:
I am really stressed at the moment and don’t know what
to do! I have so much work to do, so many other things
to do, and just not enough time to do it! It’s starting to
get me down and everyone around me is suffering for
it. I have left everything to the last minute which I know
is stupid, but now I need help to figure out what to do.
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
There are so many people in your situation at the moment
so don’t feel like you are on your own. However, you must
realise that now you have to get your head down and get it
all done, so just warn everyone around you that the next few
weeks/months are going to be stressful and you apologise in
advance. Then lock yourself away as much as possible, setting
yourself targets everyday, and don’t go out until they are
done. It’s not much of a life, but remember next time not to
leave it to the last minute!
SISTER SAFFRON SAYS:
Sit down, stops moaning about it and get on with it! End of!
Ex-Boyfriend troubles
THE PROBLEM:
I was going out with this guy for one year, and although it was
long distance it worked. We finally broke up around New
Year, but vowed to remain friends and now I am someone
he confides in a lot. However, he recently told me he got a
girl pregnant whilst we were going out and he doesn’t know
what to do. I can’t believe it as I always told him if he felt like
cheating then we should break up. I can’t be there for him
with this because it hurts to think he betrayed me, but I still
want to be his friend. What shall I tell him?
SISTER SOPHIE SAYS:
Well, he sounds like a bit of a shit to be honest, but if you still
want to remain friends then you need to get over this. Just
tell him that you can’t be there for him with this problem as
it hurts you to think of what he did. Talk to him about it, and
then try to let it go.That’s the only way if you want to remain
friends, but don’t trust him too quickly!
SISTER SAFFRON SAYS:
Just be honest with him, tell him he’s hurt you and go
from there. If all that remains between you is friendship
then you should be able to deal with this and give him as
much or aslittle support as you feel you can, however I’m
wondering if whether you are still harbouring more feelings
for him than youre letting on which is why this revelation
has affected you so much. in which case again you need to
talk to him and yourself and decide whats best for all of you!
bf.features@gmail.com
sophfacts FEATURES
12 March 2007 9
Dr Russ Replies
Is it really worth writing speculatively to an employer?
Definitely. You can’t guarantee discuss your application with them. We have examples Who exactly should I write to?
you will always spot ads when of both CVs and covering letters in the Careers Service. If you are making applications of a general nature, say
they come out, so writing ‘on for chartered accountancy training, the best thing to
spec’ at least gives you a chance How can I find address lists? do is to send your letter to the Graduate Recruitment
to be considered for something You’d probably find it helpful to start with something Manager, if you know they have one, or to the HR
you might otherwise have like Prospects Directory or the GET Directory to Manager. Try and find out the name of the person by
missed. There are two other identify the major employers of graduates. We have phoning or checking the web site. If, on the other hand,
very good reasons for trying this reference copies of both these directories in the you are interested in more specialised work such as
DR RUSS CLARK approach. First of all, it can be Careers Service. They are also on the internet at research or employment in a specific department within
CAREERS SERVICES pretty expensive to advertise a www.prospects.ac.uk and www.get.hobsons.co.uk. the organisation, it can be helpful to try to identify he
job and employers won’t waste name of the person who manages that department.
their money if they have sufficient speculative applications Are there specialist directories?
sitting on their desks. Secondly, it really works, as about Kompass is a good way to locate all the employers who So I should give it a try then?
10% of University of Surrey graduates find every year. operate in specialist areas such as nuclear instrumentation Writing on spec is definitely worthwhile. The more you
manufacture or the production of automotive components. hunt around, the greater your chances of unearthing a
How should I go about it? We have a copy in the Careers Service. If you are looking vacancy which no-one else has found. Admittedly, you
Just send a curriculum vitae and a covering letter. The for employers in particular occupations such as sound might end up with a pile of rejection letters or even
letter would typically be four paragraphs - who you work, advertising, forensic science etc, the Prospects no responses at all, but then you might just uncover an
are, why you are writing, what particular skills and website has an A-Z of about 400 occupations with opportunity which gets your career off to a brilliant start.
experience you have to offer and a closing paragraph references to all the best places to look for jobs in that area.
to say how much you’d value having an opportunity to ussu.barefacts@surrey.ac.uk
Almost Accurate Astrology
Aquarius sure you carry a camera wherever you go! Don’t overdo it on
appearances as some people prefer you as you are, not who
shall never reach your full potential. Bananas shall help you
through your difficult time, although a bit of redbull may be
21 Jan – 19 Feb
you pretend to be. needed also!
Things are bubbling inside you and not in a good way! You
Lucky advice: Rock on to your heart’s content! | Lucky day: Lucky advice: Party hard when it’s over! |
have to let it out before it is too late and it starts eating you
Sunday Lucky day: Saturday
inside. Make sure no one sees you doing that thing that you
do, or you may be red-faced for a long time afterward.
Lucky advice: Look out for toadstools! | Lucky day: Friday
Cancer Scorpio
21 June – 22 July 23 Oct – 22 Nov
Pisces Money is a concern lately, but just learn to live a little less ex-
travagantly! Try something new without worrying about what
You have a talent, don’t let it go to waste by listening to the
wrong people. Don’t let arguments last forever, get over it
20 Feb – 20 Mar
A friend shall ask you to do something that you do not want
people will think of you, it’s your life so do what you want, as and move on. Use music as a source of motivation, jump to
long as it is legal! the beat!
to do, and you must stick by your guns or the relationship
Lucky advice: Jump for joy when the moment comes. | Lucky Lucky advice: Smarties have the answer!
may be ruined forever! Your personal space is important to
you, so don’t let them intrude.
day: Wednesday Lucky day: Wednesday
Lucky advice: Watch neighbours for tips! | Lucky day: Tuesday
Leo Sagittarius
Aries 23 July – 22 Aug 23 Nov – 21 Dec
You shall be rescued by your friends this week when things Things are raining down on you, but don’t worry as an um-
21 Mar – 30 April
turn out a little nasty between you and someone. Remember brella shall come to you soon in the form of someone fit!
Someone has a picture of you in a not-very-flattering position
so watch out as they may use it as bargaining power later
violence is not the answer, so brush up on your smart-allic Dressing up is fine, but do it in your own time and don’t
on in the week. Remember to be charitable as you shall be
remarks and give it to them! expect others to be up for it as much as you are!
rewarded for it in many ways.
Lucky advice: Duck before it is too late! | Lucky day: Monday Lucky advice: live for the moment!
Lucky day: Sunday
Lucky advice: Don’t look behind you! | Lucky day: Saturday
Virgo
Taurus 23 Aug – 22 Sept Capricorn
Don’t give in to temptation this week, you are doing so well 22 Dec – 30 Jan
21 April – 21 May
and it’ll only set you back and upset you. Clear it away and Partying may be on the cards, but watch out for someone try-
Your hidden past comes to bite on the butt this week, so
maybe you should tell someone about it first to reduce the
go jump on the bed. This shall prove a valuable source of ing to make you fall flat on your face. Embarrassing moments
therapy. are always the result of someone out to get you! Make sure
shock factor.You shall begin to sleep better soon, but for now
Lucky advice: Take it on the head! | Lucky day: Friday you give them competition.
just use the extra time to get things done!
Lucky advice: Don’t run if you can get a bus!
Lucky advice: Don’t wear yourself thin. | Lucky day: Monday
Libra Lucky day: Thursday
Gemini 23 Sept – 22 Oct
It’ll soon be over so just knuckle down and let the hard work bf.features@gmail.com
22 May – 20 June
pay off. Do not let someone else drag you through it or you
Someone you admire shall come to you this week, so make

10
Jail Break - The Surrey Way
BY ANNE ABEYGUNASEKERA
DEPUTY EDITOR
TRADITIONALLY RAG WEEK is centered around fundraising
activities, in which students would take part in many games
and events to raise money for charity.These events may range
from races, quizzes, expeditions to performing crazy stunts.
One such popular event is the ‘Jailbreak’. Since the RAG week
is fastly approaching I thought of modifying the ‘Jailbreak’ to
the standards of surrey students.
The idea is simple: you have 1 hour in which to get as far away
from campus as possible. Sounds simple? Not quite, there is of
course a catch.You will have to pass the many obstacles before
Communicating to Postgraduates
BY TIM BROWN
COMMUNICATING TO POSTGRADUATES is not as straight forward as
putting up posters on advertising in the student newspaper
since the audience for such communication is largely
undergraduates. As other resources produced by NPC
indicate, postgraduates are a significantly different and indeed
a disparate community where special attention needs to be
given as to how information is communicated to them when
campaigning for postgraduate involvement, notifying of events
for postgraduates etc.This section is therefore aimed at giving
ideas as to how a student representative body can undertake
this more effectively.
Accessible Website
Many postgraduates, especially research students and part
time/distance learners will regularly use the Internet to
find out information they need to know at obscure hours
of the day and in places where they cannot easily access
the premises of a student representative body easily. It is
therefore important that information in electronic form is
regularly up to date and readily available for someone seeking
information. This will also influence their impressions of how
they are being supported and represented as postgraduates.
It is strongly encouraged to implement a postgraduate area
on a website, our resources also provide ideas on what to
include in a postgraduate area as well as using it as a point of
information to tell postgraduates what a student body does
for them as part of their membership.
PG TIPS
Any contributions to this section should be sent
directly to the PG Tips Editor at m.yip@surrey.ac.uk
PG Tips
Editor
Mary Yip
m.yip@
surrey.ac.uk
you reach the campus boundaries. The game commences
near the car park towards the train station. The game begins
by running across university court to the lake. But the course
is dotted with potatoes placed every few meters in front of
the starting point, with a bucket at the finish.You must collect
all the potatoes whilst running towards the lake. Once at the
lake you will be expected to swim across the little lake with
the fountain holding your nose. If you make it to the other
end you’ll come across the 10 soldiers with their paint ball
guns. If you get hit more than 7 times you are out of the game.
After dodging the bullets you’ll reach the muddy green in
front of the PATS building. There’ll be 10 huge gunnysacks full
of chicken feathers, over which you’ll be leapfrogging. Once
Postgraduate Newsletter
As already mentioned, not all postgraduates will read the
regular student newspaper, either because they can’t access
it easily and possibly because they may well find the approach
with which it is written is not directed at them. Further to this,
student newspapers are not normally printed in the vacation
time, so it is highly beneficial to produce a newsletter for
postgraduates that helps overcome this. The newsletter will
benefit from an editorial team of postgraduates reporting the
latest postgraduate news locally, updates on NPC’s activity
(for which generic articles are produced periodically) and
advertisements for upcoming events. It is important that this
is available electronically also in order to reach part time and
distance learning students especially.
At this point it is important to note the channels via which
newsletters and other literature or emails are communicated
to postgraduates. Departmental postgraduate administrators
are often useful people to make contact with in the first
instance, where details can often be found from the registry. It
is useful to find out from such people what the proportion of
taught students and research students (both full time and part
time) and any distance learning students. For most full time
students they should be able to distribute any information
via the pigeon holes locally but they may send out regular
mailings to part time and distance learning students. It is
therefore important to find out when they undertake any
mailings so that any relevant literature can be sent out with
them.
There is no harm in placing advertisements in the student
newspaper or on posters (which are useful to display in
“joshfacts
12 March 2007
PGA Social
Secretary
Claire Hobbs
c.hobbs@
surrey.ac.uk
you have passed the feather stage, the water balloon bash
begins. Try and avoid getting hit by a water balloon cos it will
hurt. Now you have reached the last stage before the big
escape. Immediately after your wash from your lovely chicken
feathers, you will hop backwards around the RAG mascot 5
times. Be careful though, as the mascot is not that friendly
with the escapees. Et voila! the ‘grand finale’, congratulations
you made it to car park one. Victory oh sweet victory, the
winner will get a free coach ticket to go as far as possible
from campus!
Note: This event is not scheduled to take place at the RAG
week.
the departments as well as central locations) although if
postgraduates are going to be reached effectively assistance
from departmental administrators is necessary.
Postgraduate Representatives Week 10
and Graduate Schools
Chancellors Cocktail Night
Many undergraduate courses will normally have
representatives, and likewise it is also useful to have them at
postgraduate level including those on research programmes.
If introduced onto an email list they can be helpful in terms
of communicating information both ways and allowing the
central representative structure for postgraduates to be
actively networking with all postgraduates in the institution.
If the institution has a graduate school, it is often helpful to
seek support from them to help in pushing departments to
realise the importance of representing, which will help the
postgraduates as well to identify with it as an important
means of feeding back on both departmental and institution
wide issues.
Notice Boards
Chancellors Open Mic
To allow communication via posters to be more effective it
is useful to place notice boards in appropriate places within
departments and other central areas. Postgraduates will
therefore know useful reference points from where they can
seek information.
m.yip@surrey.ac.uk
 RAG Week: 12 -18 March
What is RAG?
You’ve seen them on the telethons doing stupid things - bathing in baked beans, cycling
around in pyjamas, projecting their naked ofrm onto buildings, pushing beds full of students
around the town, even jumping out of aeroplanes! Okay, they did have parachutes, but let’s be
reasonable...
Now YOU can become part of the most chaotic and peculiar student institution this country
has to offer, all in the name of charity.
RAG Week happens at nearly every University in Britain (although not all at the same time!)
It’s where RAG gets to highlight our work and charity fundraising whilst putting on some
spectacular events to try and raise even more money. In the past we have had our annual
themed raid in Guildford High Street plus loads of events on campus – if you want to get
involved then just let us know your ideas.
We need as many Raggies as we can – the more help we have the bigger and better the
events we can achieve. If you want to be a member of RAG either as a full-time member or
as an occasional volunteer then please let us know who you are.
Mountains, while extremely University of Surrey Mountaineering Club as a charity fund raising event.We
challenging, are of little will be collectively climbing 26 miles straight up, or put differently, we will
RAG won the award for their commitment to USSU Societies back in 2002-2003. This was
the first time the award had been presented and RAG is proud to be the first society to have
their name on the shield.
RAG stands for ‘Raising and Giving’ and is a great way for students to raise money for
registered charities while having loads of fun and drinking copious amounts of alochol in the
process. Have you seen the footprints on the side of Surrey Court? Just another example of
RAG craziness, so if you’re outgoing, enthusiastic or downright mad then come and lend your
support to RAG.
So why should Surrey students join RAG? Well for one it’s fun! You get to meet loads of new
people, get involved in running events (anything you want... within reason) and get satisfaction
from helping others.
If you have any fundraising ideas and would like to get involved in helping others, drop us
a line or better still pop into the Students’ Union and tell us straight.
Sport Relief RAG
Earlier in the year, the University of Surrey Students’ Union
organised a local mile for BBC Sport Relief. Over 1200
people came to campus to run the course on a bright, fun-
filled day. The University of Surrey Guildford mile was the
largest locally organised event in the country and enjoyed
by all. The Mayor of Guildford ran the mile, along with the
young and old of Guildford.
Money raised through BBC Sport Relief was split between
improving the lives of people living in both Africa and the
UK. Sport Relief started after the success of Comic Relief,
but has become a massive event in it’s own right.
Cash in action:
Priya is 12 years old. She has blocked out the horrific
memories from the day that the tsunami crashed into her
village in South-eastern India but the effect it has had on her
life is immense. In her community, with hundreds dying and
livelihoods being destroyed, the threat of malnutrition and
disease taking hold was very real. Thanks to money raised
through Sport Relief, Priya was given food, shelter and an
education – not just in the immediate aftermath – but well
after the event too. The project has helped her family pick
up the pieces of their shattered lives after one of the world’s
most devastating natural disasters.
Priya, India
Rachel House is a children’s hospice in Scotland run by the
Children’s Hospice Association Scotland (CHAS). CHAS
provides a warm, loving environment for children who
have progressive, life limiting medical conditions and their
families.
When a family becomes aware that they will lose one of
their children, they want to make the most of every precious
minute they have left together. Rachel House gives families
the chance to do just that.
Caring for a child who has a serious illness can put an
immense physical and emotional strain on the whole family
and leaves little time for enjoyment. Rachel House gives
families essential support to cope with what’s happening to
them and also the chance to have fun as a family during such
a difficult time in their lives. With the care and support from
Rachel House, children and their families can live life to the
full and make the most of each day left together.

What is going on during RAG Week?

interest to climbers as
they tend to be across flat,
unhindered land. Climbers
seek vertical challenges, hence the concept of the Vertical Marathon 2007.
The Vertical Marathon 2007 is a 26 mile climb being undertaken by the
be climbing nearly five times the height of Mt Everest in a single day, or the
height of 5023 double-decker buses stacked on top of one another
Look out for the team who will be trying to raise as much money as
possible for their vertical climb during RAG week!
* USSU are running a food collection during RAG week for Hope & Aid Direct (a charity
well within the sell by date.)
that sends essential supplies to war torn & poverty stricken countries).

Agent X
be the first game of Agent X (a.k.a. paranoia
or killer) to be run by the USSU for RAG
week. You take the role of an assassin who
will spend a week and a half locating, tracking
and eliminating targets, with the ultimate goal
of becoming the best assassin on campus.
6) Once dead the victim must hand over all
HIT Cards he posses.
7) Once dead the victim identifies the HIT
card of who he was hunting to the person
who killed him.
8) If you are dead, thanks for taking part.
* The Afro Carribean Society are doing X Factor in the Union
* On Wednesday 14 March & Friday 16 March entry to Rubix before 10.30pm will be on
* The Mountaineering Club are going to do a 26 Mile Climb on 21 April!
donation of food (replacing entry fee) After 10.30pm £1 from every ticket sold for Rubix
* During the week there will be opportunitys to volunteer down in town!
will be donated to Hope & Aid Direct.
* A food & toiletries collection point will be set up through out the week (Monday 12th-
Please donate generously! All money/food/toiletries donated
Friday 16th March) in USSU reception, along with a display about Hope & Aid Direct.
are all going to a fantastic cause!
(No tins or glass jars please. Please ensure all goods are in sealed packaging & are

But beware because the hunter is also the
Incoming Transmission…
are the assassin who eliminates the most hunted.
Time: 10:28
terrorists before the end date of the 23/3/07. Entrance fee will be £2.50 where all money
Validation Code: RAG007
This is like no mission you have undertaken made (apart from prize money) will be given
Message: Confirmed
before, be prepared. Report to The Operator to RAG Charities.
Target: Agent X
between 10:00 - 12:00 14/3/07 in safe house
Good Morning Agent,
code name Chancellors for your first The rules of the game
As of this morning the rouge organisation
assignment. are as follows;
known as ‘Nighthawk’ has infiltrated the
The Operator
operations of MI6 and special branch. Prime
Transmission End… 1) Have Fun. Play with Honour as all money
ministerial clearance has been authorised to
goes to charity.
use deadly force in eliminating these rouge
Welcome students to the Game, this will 2) The game officially starts at 12:00 14/3/07
agents. You will be paid a cash bounty if you
and ends at 12:00 23/3/07, the winner will
be announced on stage in RUBIX on the last
Friday night of term.
3) The only allowed weapon of choice must
be water based; water sponge, water pistol,
water balloon, bucket of water etc. NO real
or plastic weapons are to be used.
4) Each agent must report to Chancellors at
sign-in between 10:00 - 12:00 on the 14/3/07.
There they will be given a card with the
details of their first target, known as a HIT
Card.
5) Killing occurs when the hunter soaks his
victim with water, once done the hunter
shows the victim his HIT Card to prove that
the victim was the right target.
9) If you alive at the end of the game please
report to Chancellors at 14:00 23/3/07
NB: You can only eliminate the person on
your HIT card, so if an assassin bungles an
attempt, you cannot fight back, you can only
run and hide to fight another day.
If you want to get involved in the game you
can do one of three things;
1) Go to the Union Shop and buy an AGENT
X ticket. Here the Union Shop will ask for
some personal details that will be used in the
Game.
2) Fill out the Application form in the
upcoming barefacts, handing in the required
details to the barefacts Editor or the USSU
Secretary Jacque in the Union. You will need
to bring £2.50 to the briefing on the 14/3/07
3) Email your details to eep2ps@surrey.ac.uk
with an attached photo that clearly identifies
your face. The following details are required:
Code Name:
Real Name:
Campus Address:
Course
You will need to bring £2.50 to the briefing
on the 14/3/07
The Operator
Local Heroes
So hopefully by now we have convinced you take part in
RAG week and raise some money for charity! You may
however still be deciding which charity to nominate.
While there are loads of national or inter-national charities
you could choose, here is some brief information on some
very worthy local charities.You can get more information on
the great World Wide Web & these are but a small selection
of charitable organisations you could help:
Elderly:
Age Concern:
The Surrey division works across the county to provide
support and activities to pensioners. The charity works
to ensure that elderly people are not left isolated in their
homes. Your money will go towards helping them maintain
their home visitor’s service, transport & a programme of
events such as healthy walks, classes and social trips out.
Medical:
CHASE Hospice Care for Children:
CHASE Hospice care for Children exists to support families
with life- limited children- that is, children or young people
who are not expected to reach the age of 19 because of
illnesses that are incurable. CHASE has a hospice based
in Artington & also provides support for Children & their
families in their own homes.
Others include:
Children/ young people:
Disability Challengers: An organisation which provides
leisure activity groups for disabled children & young people
at specially equipped play centres.
The Sunflower Trust:
The trust provides children with learning & behavioural
difficulties with their holistic ‘sunflower therapy’. The trust
has helped thousands of children with Dyslexia, Dyspraxia,
ADD, ADHD, Asperger’s Syndrome & Autism.
GUTS Against Cancer: (Guildford
Undetected Tumour Screening)
GUTS provides a screening and counselling programme at
Royal Surrey County Hospital for people who have been
identified as being at moderate to high risk of bowel cancer.
GUTS also contributes financially to Bowel Cancer Research
at University of Surrey.
The Fountain Centre:
The Fountain Centre at St. Luke’s Cancer Centre (based at
Royal Surrey County Hospital) is a holistic complementary
therapy and information facility. St Luke’s Cancer Centre
serves a population stretching from the outskirts of London
to the southern coast.
Community:
Guildford Action for Community Care:
The organisations provide support for families on low
incomes & young parents who live in the borough of
Guildford. Guildford Action has a drop in Centre in Guildford
& also runs other projects, such as a furniture recycling &
delivery project.
 sophfacts PUZZLES
12 March 2007 15
Brought to you by our very own Puzzlelord, Colin Everett, what would you ever do without his masterful puzzle skills?
Answers for the pseudoku can be found on Page 20... along with a Wimbledon Word Search!

Chancellors Cocktail Night The Big Frickin’ Maze

P
S
E
6pm in RUBIX
Open
Mic U
D
Night

O
K
U

Crossword
Clues Across:
7) and 24down. US Vice President at the
time of the Apollo 11 lunar mission. (5, 5)
8) Ovens you might need to install if listen-
ing to Money For Nothing by Dire Straits.
(9)
10) One half of the performing double act
behing sketches involving Mastermind and
fork ‘andles. (6)
11) Small cup of verrrry strong coffee. (8)
12) Capital city of this year’s hosts of the
Eurovision Song Contest. (8)
13) Short line; sprint. (4)
15) South American river; workshy womble.
(7)
17) How well pasta should be cooked. (2, 5)
20) Biblical character, slain by Cain. (4)
22) Someone with whom you were once
romantically involved. (3, 5)
25) BBC2 quizshow featuring a bunch of
smug gits showing off how much they know.
(8)
26) What Brian was reluctant to do for a
beard in The Life Of Brian. (6)
27) The day of the week on which New
Year’s Day 2014 will fall. (9)
28) Duration of term in power. (5)
Clues Down:
1) The study of the eyes and associated
disorders. (9)
2) Male descendent worth a thousand?
(Cryptic) (8)
3) African country from which myriad
princes and government officials need my
help extracting vast amounts of money. (7)
4) Having three legs. (8)
5) Young owls (6)
6) and 21. Stop going backwards, salty! A
huge arse! (Cryptic) (5, 6)
9) Gas hidden in fine onyx. (Cryptic) (4)
14) The study of word origins. (9)
16) Large crack in a glacier. (8)
18) Speeches delivered at funerals. (8)
19) Alternative name for Sirius, brightest
star in the night sky. (3, 4)
21) See 6 down.
23) Capital city of Qatar. (4)
barea ts
Send your
submissions to: sophfacts BAREARTS
Arts Editors
12 March 2007 17

le s
Patrick Hunter

s t
n g B e
& Jake South

Maxïmo Park The Great Awakening

bf.arts@gmail.com
S i The Noisettes
Sister Rosetta
(Capture The Spirit)
The Lily Allen
Shame For You / Alfie
EMI
Warp Records The Early Years Universal The spectacular Lily Allen is back with
Beggars Banquet a double A-Side ‘Shame For You’ and
It’s funny how things can change around in I love this band. A strong, female lead- ‘Alfie’. ‘Shame For You’ is lazy, brassy, and
music. Look at The Zutons, once seen as poor This EP, the follow-up to last singer is always a plus, and twinned with a has a little squelchy bit in which is great.
imitators trailing in the wake of The Coral but year’s underappreciated punchy, energy-filled band, The Noisettes ‘Alfie’ – a song about her brother doing
now by far the bigger of the two. So it is with self-titled album by this are sure to go far. Includes classic guitar all sort of naughty things – is a bit like a
Maxïmo Park (that’s said ‘Max Emo Park’, umlaut bunch of London post- solo, a head-wobbling bridge and a children’s theme tune on drugs. A little bit,
fans). When they emerged in 2004 they initially rockers, starts with a bang. head-moshing chorus. Result. Fisher Price, a little bit trippy and a very nice drum
looked like a cash in on The Futureheads, but “Say What I Want To” sounds Patrick Hunter beat make ‘Alfie’ a better choice for Side A,
you won’t find anyone saying that for much like it actually is carved 5/5 but then what do I know! It’s up to you Lily
longer. out of rock, equipped Patrick Hunter, 5/5
The reason? Our Earthly Pleasures is a superb second album, taking everything that with booming baritone
their debut did best and taking it further to extremes. The explosion of energy in vocals (think Neil Hannon WOLF & CUB
single “Our Velocity” is an early sign of what’s to come, newly bouncy keyboards minus foppishness) sitting This Mess
set against a fast paced rant with added crunch. There’s a similar winning balance atop guitars that churn
Electralane 4AD
between angst and fun throughout. The lyrics are even smarter and more evocative and echo way off into the
To The East
than before too, from “Books From Boxes”’ ‘Night falls and towns become circuit distance, and a chorus
Too Pure Wolf & Cub’s ‘adrenalised, darkly psychedelic
boards’ to the way that they sign off with a sigh in the album’s final line: ‘The tiny that will practically knock you off your feet. Pleasures don’t come much more and powerfully infectious’ sound bears a slight
The first single to be released resemblance to Franz Ferdinand, Bloc Party, and
veins in your back, they remind me of the way that porcelain cracks’. Indeed, the monolithic, and as such it’s a bit of a disappointment when the rest of the EP turns
from Electrelane’s debut album (as other disco-rock type bands. ‘This Mess’ has a
closing two tracks have a decent stab at repeating the experimental, desperate out to be nothing like it. Instead we get some pretty but inessential drones, initially
reviewed in this issue) is as close to good sound and an energy that suggests it would
atmospherics of A Certain Trigger mega-highlight “Acrobat”. with breathy harmonies but culminating in an instrumental which could pass for one
Arcade Fire as you can get without be good live. Hasn’t quite got the excitement of
In summary, it’s great enough that even singer Paul Smith’s current misguided of Sigur Ros or Radiohead’s most narcoleptic moments. Still, that first song comes
actually being Arcade Fire. A little other music around at the moment, but there’s
baseball cap/mullet combo (which draws even more attention to his receding very heavily recommended.

t
bit amateur-sounding, it’s also a

s
still a place for Wolf & Cub in the home.

r
hairline than his previous combover did…) shouldn’t hold them back now.

Wo
tad boring. Just imagine Arcade Fire but

e
4/5 3.5/5

Iain Forrester
The Horrors
Virgin Megastores Oxford St. -
Performance/Signing
March 5th 2007
Monday 5th of March started off
another week for the inhabitants of earth;
however it also was the day the Horrors debut
album, “Strange House”, became available
for purchase. To celebrate this release, the
band was scheduled to perform a special
gig at the huge Virgin Megastores on Oxford
Street, before signing copies of the new
album for fans. However this show wasn’t a
straight forward drill, in order to gain entry
to the performance you needed to obtain
a wristband, of which you could pick at the
store from 9 o’clock in the morning. Despite
the palaver of having to head to and fro
London, this was certainly worth the trouble.
The Horrors are a strange band to say
the least, their music has a thrash, garage, old
rock feel to it of which is appealing to those
who enjoy this music, however it walks hand
in hand with the image the band depicts.
The image I am talking about being the epitome of the
indie/emo scene, and undoubtedly a massive part of
the bands popularity. Therefore you can imagine the
kind of crowd the Horrors attracted; at about 20 past 6
the basement of Virgin was a sea of black fabrics and
skinny jeans. This unnerved me slightly as I arrived in my
navy H&M hood, blue jeans and white trainers, however
this un-comfortable feeling was about to get worse as
Iain Forrester
I came to realise that the average age of the 200 odd
people there was about 16/17. Brilliant. So, after quarter
of an hour of feeling extremely cool surrounded by
hyper active nippers, the Horrors appeared and wasted
none seconds.
Blasting straight into the second track of their
album, “Count in Fives”, the crowd went mental instantly
but this didn’t compare to the actions of Faris Rotter
(lead vocalist). His movements were so ridiculously mad
that watching him jolting about from one side of
the stage to the next; smashing the mic around
above his head was just plain amusement. I am
a fan of the Horrors music, I find it exciting and
energetic music that’s a bit of a laugh, yet due
to the way Faris was behaving on stage I found
the show more of a joke than anything else.
During the performance of 5 songs, he threw the
mic stand with the mic attached into the crowd
several times, before the entire band excluding
the drummer disappeared into the black sea of
fans, creating a mess of noise as the guitar was
dragged along. This was then followed by the
organist pretending to be a bat by spreading his
arms out and holding a cape! Side-splitting. It is no
secret that this type of thing happens regularly at
gigs but this was insane! The impression I got from
this particular performance was that the band’s
main intention was to impress the audience of
16/17 year olds by being super cool and crazy,
instead of with their music.
This is not to say that I did not enjoy the Horrors,
it was brilliant entertainment and with more and
more bands heading in this direction of outlandish
performance it is clearly something that the fans
are loving more and more. I did not stay for the signing,
as I realised that I am not in year 10, however watch this
space for an interview with the Horrors themselves over
the next few weeks.
Jake South
bf.arts@gmail.com
T h
without the energy, and you’re there. Patrick Hunter
Patrick Hunter 3.5/5
2/5
OOM THE BEES
Dead Analogue Octopus
Series 8 Virgin Records
Who calls their band Oom?! What a flippin’ fabulous name! I wish I as called Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah The Bees. The
Oom… band who brought us Chicken Payback and
Dead Analogue is the debut, yes DEBUT album from Brighton-based ‘Oom’ (tee Horseman are back with an excitingly titled
hee). They’ve supported British Sea Power and Electrelane and Zane Lowe likes them album: ‘Octopus’.
(why doesn’t he just MARRY them then. Within seconds you know you’re listening to
So who are Oom? Hailed as a ‘glitch-rock’ band (which I can totally understand) Bees – The distorted and slide bluesy guitars just
they combine female vocals from Debbie Clare (worked with Massive Attack) with shout “YOU’RE LISTENING TO THE BEES”, and the
noisy guitars, broken electronics and dirty synths. We’re essentially talking Aphex Twin, very simple drum fills and Only Fools And Horses
Mogwai, Massive Attack, Bjork, all in a Jacuzzi connected to a giant BRAIN which has vocals make opening track ‘Who Cares What The Question Is?’ a Bees classic.
dreamed up the concept of Oom. I jolly love that name. ‘Love In The Harbour’ has fantastic close harmonies and tambourine/harmonica
Worryingly sounding a little bit concept-is-better-than-the-real-thing-ish, I started goodness that remind you of childhood days on the farm, playing in the river… ‘Got
to panic – I went into a cold sweat and had to sit down. But actually, it’s only that To Let Go’ is particularly funky and has an organ and brass section (which is always
music I’ve heard like this in the past has ended up sounding very deflated and a very lovely indeed)… and new single ‘Left Foot Stepdown’ is a bit ska, bit Beatles-y
little bit crap. – everything you’d expect in a Bees single.
Oom’s music is better than this. Mainly slow, heavy and dirty, Dead Analogue is After even just one listen, I already think this has more potential than either of
the kind of album you’d only put on at night… down a dark alley… whilst being their previous attempts – there’s something a lot more interesting and comfortable
followed by a strange man with an axe… ‘Paranoia’ is a haunting, breathy, bassy about ‘Octopus’.
track with smooth synths with a gentle guitar meandering over the top, while ‘Broken If you haven’t yet tasted the Bees’ honey (yeah check out that metaphor) then
Toy’ has an glitchy ostinato with a very broken, Aphex you’ll certainly be wanting to before the Summer comes around. Track 7: ‘(This Is
Twin feel. For) The Better Days’ has a cowbell which is a post-spring instrument if there ever
To be honest, most of the tracks are very similar, but was one. I always feel that there’s a bit of Beta Band in the Bees, and Octopus
if you’re into glitchy electro-rock, then go investigate doesn’t go against this theory. Slightly off-beat, very clever writing, and pretty catchy
Oom – they have got a flippin’ awesome name… too. I would give ‘Octopus’ a thumbs up, and I’ve just noticed a Jews Harp in ‘The
Ocularist’ which is very cool indeed.
3/5
Patrick Hunter Patrick Hunter
4.5/5
 BAREARTS
“joshfacts sophfacts SOCIETIES & MISC.
18 12 March 2007 12 March 2007 19
The Arcade Fire Charlotte Hatherley
Neon Bible The Deep Blue
Sonovox Little Sister Records

‘Neon Bible’ is never going to match the beauty and ingenuity of ‘Funeral’ I hear
you all thinking. Yes. All of you. Even you. And you may be right. Arcade Fire have
won the hearts of thousands, possibly millions of people (including me) with their
fantastic songwriting and amazing live shows – can their next album live up to its
predecessor? And so the story begins.
We get off to a blinding start with ‘Black Mirror’: A breathtaking opener with clear
parallels to ‘Rebellion (Lies)’. A spine-tingling string section and delicate piano riff
provide a entrancing work of splendor.
‘Keep The Car Running’ takes the album into the slightly more upbeat ‘rock-pop’
realm which is by no means a criticism. This lasts for merely one song, and then
‘Neon Bible’ appears. Short at just over 2 minutes, slower and quite repetitive, this
may be considered too different at this stage in proceedings? Absolutely not. Fits
in perfectly ‘Intervention’ features a fantastic church organ that hammers away all
through the track, complimenting the perfectly flowing structure of the song itself -
Charlotte’s involvement with rock/pop maestros Ash in the second half of the nineties
saw Miss Hatherley propelled to ‘uber-cool indie pin-up princess’ status. During the
recording of band’s last album she simultaneously began work on a solo project –
and the ensuing cult success of debut offering “Grey Will Fade” showed there’s more
beneath the surface to Chaz than her slick rock chick stylings. Deciding to split from
the Ash boys for good, the result is sophomore album “The Deep Blue”, which sees
Hatherley expand her horizons beyond the spiky, punky pop showcased on her last
record. Having also ditched her record label, the musical journey this time around
is far more personal and emotional. Away from the infectious choruses of singles
“Behave” and “I Want You To Know”, and the blistering juggernaut of driving guitars
on “Very Young”, the album veers into a dreamy world of lush arrangements and
wistful melodies. “The Deep Blue” features a rich, retro-tinged sound that has bags
of character. Other highlights on the album include the fragile, intricate slow-burner
“Dawn Treader”,

Eleanor Tyler, Societies Editor on bf.societies@gmail.com

Submit your society’s article, notification of AGM or event to
‘Black Wave’ feels a bit more raw and empty, but still has the charm of its peers – and “Again”, a
it’s just like a mini-ballad – something The Arcade Fire have no difficulty in producing reflective tale of
to an excellent standard. The mid-album, more chilled-out ‘Ocean Of Noise’, will sorrow and regret
make a lot of people cry – it’s just one of those songs. But fear not tear-allergees in which Charlotte
– We’re back to the Arcade Fire upbeat sound with ‘The Well And The Lighthouse’, bears her poetic
and (Antichrist Television Blues) – just plain brilliant AF brilliance. soul to the world.
‘Windowsill’ slows it down once again – a great, soothing masterpiece, produced The intermittently
to perfection by the group. ‘No Cars Go’, whilst penultimate track (and current wandering nature of
single) ‘No Cars Go’ is like the final song in a film, when all the credits are scrolling – it this album certainly
makes you feel very satisfied, and you know that when you get home you can have won’t be for everyone
a nice cup of tea. It just oozes optimism and fun. ‘Neon Bible’ ends with ‘My Body Is – but for those willing
A Cage’ – Another song with an organ – powerful, slow with a sense of finality. Just to give it time, this is
all round good. one of those albums
I didn’t mean to describe each track, and I really don’t think I’ve done ‘Neon Bible’ that gives you
the justice it deserves. If you loved Funeral and are expecting another offering the something new to
same, don’t. There’s a possibility of disappointment, but if you go where Arcade Fire latch onto with every
take you, you’ll get far more than you thought. I didn’t want to give this album 5/5 listen.
but I have to. It’s very, very good.
5/5 4/5 | Jason Reed
Patrick Hunter

Going Public?
Electrelane
No Shouts, No Calls
Too Pure

Take a guess at how many albums this band have

Thursday 22 March and Friday 23 March at 7.30pm
released… ’No shouts, No calls’ will be their fourth.
Going Public II - Final Year Degree Shows
Then, I ask myself the question: why have I not heard
of them before? There are two possible answers for
Dance students at the University of
this, one: I’m not a hardcore indie obsessive, or two:
Surrey invite you to see a wide range of
they are an American band only really venturing to
new works, some witty, fun, celebratory,
the UK now. The choice as they say, is yours. After
others poignant, thought-provoking
popping the CD into my trusty laptop, the first band
and innovative. These Degree and End-
that came to mind was Arcade Fire. Sure enough after a little investigation using the
of-Year shows have proved so popular
wonder that is google, it turns out that they are the main support act for them on their
that even with two performances they
tour. From older bands like the Yeah Yeah Yeah’s to newer ones such as The Gossip,
sell-out, so please book early to avoid
it seems that finally we are making a little space in our musical hearts for female led
disappointment. Come and support
bands, and about time to!
your final years!
Electrelane have produced an album that, unlike others in my record collection,
Tickets: £6 full/senior citizens,
is quite soothing and uplifting. It doesn’t make me want to dance around like a
£3 (concessions)
maniac, but, it does manage to put a smile on my face and leave me with a
Available from the Box Office,
sense of well-being. I would almost say it makes me feel warm and fuzzy, but I think
Senate House, University of Surrey
that may be going a little too far. There a few tracks that break this mould though,
Tel: (01483) 686876
namely track 7 ‘Between the Wolf and the Dog’ and track 9 ‘Five’, and funnily enough
We look forward to seeing you there!
I like these tracks the best.
Dawn Threadkill, Sophie Scowen, Jo
If you like Arcade Fire you’ll no doubt love Electrelane, I personally like both bands,
Read, Naldine Taylor-Lewis, Emma
but don’t full-blown worship them.
Sherborne, Katie Rushworth, Derya
Ozbasmaci and Sarah Smith.
3/5 | Rachael Fitz-Patrick
 MISC.
“joshfacts sophfacts SPORT
20 12 March 2007 12 March 2007 21

Old Boys Sunk

deceive you. For the first time this year, here are some of
Stuck with the Pseudoku on Page 20? Your eyes do not
Pseudoku Answers
those answers you’ve been looking for...
BY SPADE line. UNLUCKY!
The students were starved
University Of Surrey Students 1sts of possession throughout the
VS University of Surrey Old Boys match which meant some big
defence by players such as
And so the time had come for the annual reunion between Charles, Spade, and Oleg. With
past Surrey Rugby players and the mighty youth of Surrey’s a game of few line-outs and
current rugby teams. The day was chosen as the 4th of March many scrums, the main way for
and it fell on what was one of the wettest days of the year, a the students to receive the ball
day that had also been preceded by weeks of torrential rain. was through turnovers, this was
Every player from both sides, besides feeling hung-over from possible due to the students
the annual dinner/drunken dance was worried that the match fitness, we were able to get to
may be called off. Then the news came from the UniSport the rucks first. On the stroke
grounds-men that the match would not be able to be played of half time there was also an didn’t score.
on any of the Varsity Pitches! However, thanks to local rugby incident where Spade, attempting to counter ruck Old Boy In the closing minutes the Old Boys had a scrum 5 metres
side Stoke Park, we were allowed to use their pitches, so the Jason Munday was hit with a head butt to the face and a big out. In the most important scrum of the game that was
match could take place. It was one of the muddiest games I evil stare in what is meant to be a friendly game, or perhaps proceeded by AJ getting cramp/having a bit of a rest, the Old
have ever played in, we even had to compare three pitches to the big man lost his bumbling coordination and fell forward Boys drove the students scrum forward as they had done all
decide which one was the least soggy. In the end we decided from his body weight using Spade’s nose as a steady post. day, with a last second attempt to stop the pushover try, the
to play on the pitch lowest down, don’t ask why - rugby Either way this meant Spade had to play the rest of the match students twisted the scrum and forced the scrum half to pick

Random Wordsearch
players etc.
So after weeks of taunting friends who were playing on
the opposition’s side, mainly via facebook, the match began.
The taunting saw a new found anger in former Surrey fly half
Kenny from all the bullying. In the early stages, after two
years out of the game via injury, Old Boy Animal made an
impact…by dropping the ball. Yet this didn’t stop the Old
Boys sticking to their plan of mauling, keeping it tight, and
pick and drives. Yet with a quick turnover whilst being pegged
back in our own 22, clean breaks were able to be made by
Simon, Ceri and in particular Baby Frag. The Laziness or last
nights effects were shown by the Old Boys who didn’t chase
back, and an early try by Angus finishing off a Baby Frag break
put the students into the lead.
Later, once again the Old Boys kept to their game plan of
dominance in the scrum, and with a pack nearly twice as heavy
as the current Uni team, they eventually got the ball back
into the students 22. This was followed by a typical dummy
and step by Old Boy fly half Kenny who skipped through the
students defence to bring the scores level. Yet with all the
fuss of moving grounds no-one had brought a kicking tee, or
maybe Kenny just couldn’t be bothered to get one. Kenny
attempted to convert his own try via a drop kick, but the ball
hardly bounced in the mud and rolled harmlessly over the try
with a blooded nose and a tissue shoved up his nostrils from
the very helpful woman’s rugby player Verity, but also to
Spade’s disgust Munday was substituted off at half time, so he
couldn’t get his revenge. There’s always next year.
After a the break substitutions occurred, and with Warwick
moving to loose head the students scrum became stronger
and even in one case turned over the Old Boys’ scrum. This
gave more ball to the students and enabled them to punch
holes into the tired defence of the Old Boys. A tactic of the
students all day was to take quick-tap penalties from every
place on the pitch in order to wear down the Old Boys’
defence, and receiving a penalty only 10 metres out from the
Old Boys line, this was no different. Only one phase was
required for Oleg to skip through the retreating Old Boys’
defence to score what became the winning try.
Later in the game with the pressure on and with only
minutes remaining, irrational defensive kicks gave plenty of
possession to Old Boys full back Athers and to prop - turned
number 8 - turned winger - Shaggy. Shaggy (and I have been
told to give special attention to this from his Old Boy team
mate AJ) squandered at least two chances throughout the
game, including one, where being about 5 metres out he
decided the best option for his near 20 stone battering ram
rugby body would be to kick through. They subsequently
and go. Great work from the flankers and scrum half Ceri
held the try up and turned the ball over. The ball was hoofed
away, and the game was saved.
After the final whistle it was all handshakes and hugs
between good friends as in the end both sides are equivalently
in the same team. The speeches at the bar were made and
the ‘muppet’ (ed - sorry) of the day went to Shaggy, whilst the
Man of the Match went to Animal, who put in a great effort in
his come back match after what has been a very depressing
two and a half years out injured. A special Mention must
be given to Gabriel who turned up in a white tracksuit that
ended up being very brown, then bless only lasted 30 seconds
before the Old Boys messed up his pretty face and he had to
go to hospital, welcome to the game. Finally the Old Boys Alan
Haggar Cup was presented to the students captain Maximus,
who had some fighting talk stating: “ I hope to continue my
hold onto this cup when I play for the Old Boys next year”
Yeah he wishes.
In Memory of Alan Haggar
bf.sport@gmail.com

Former winners of the Men’s and HEWITT

Question Third
Here are the answers to last week’s Questions, only one person was successful in all the …answer these new tricky sporting questions, and receive exclusive
Women’s SIngles titles at Wimbledon. HINGIS answers, that person being Pete (no surname given). Congratulations to him, he wins exclusive ipod accessories for all correct answers
IVANISEVIC ipod accessories.
AGASSI KODES Name the only player to have played in the Manchester, Merseyside, and Old Firm derbies? Which team spent months on top of their league last season, but ended up bottom, and this
ASHE KRAJICEK Answer = ANDRE KANCHELSKIS (played for Manchester United, Everton and Rangers) season spent weeks at the bottom, but are now odds on to finish top?
BECKER MAURESMO Name one (possibly the only) player to have won the Champions League, UEFA Cup, FA Which team reached the FA Cup Final at Wembley, even though they lost a game in an
BORG MCENROE Cup, and Premier League? (question provided by P.Gomez) Answer = NWANKWO KANU earlier round in the same season? (That game not being abandoned or replayed)
CASH NOVOTNA (Arsenal Ajax and Inter are the teams he won with) Out of the 92 top teams, whose ground is at the highest altitude?
CONNORS SAMPRAS Which is the only team in the Football League where it is impossible to ‘fill in’ any of the What is the ‘perfect score’ in a game of Ten Pin Bowling?
DAVENPORT SHARAPOVA letters? Answer = HULL CITY (cannot colour in any of that) What is the highest-achievable break in snooker?
EDBERG STICH Who was the first German born man to win Wimbledon? Answer = JOHN MCENROE
FEDERER WILLIAMS (yes – slightly tricky, but the Mac was born in Germany) Send your answers to bf.sport@gmail.com ... good luck!!
GRAF
 SPORT
“joshfacts sophfacts SPORT
22 12 March 2007 12 March 2007 23

barefacts Sport - Bringing the Heat!

PRESS RELEASE

Guildford Heat continue

Guildford Heat Tickets BY MATT CHEETHAM
Football Talk
their unbeaten run... SPORTS EDITOR
Tickets are on sale
Guildford, Surrey, March 4th 2007: The Poujoulat Heat, Guildford NOW from the WELCOME TO THE final Football Talk of the term. A frantic
fortnight has seen disappointment for Arsenal fans. The
remained on course for the BBL League Championship with a Students Gunners lost three games in a row for the first time in over
close fought victory away against local rivals London United
winning 88-81
Union Shop four years. Their defeat to Blackburn has certainly opened up
After a close opening half, in which the home side led 46-44 Price: £5 the FA Cup. Two of Blackburn, Manchester City, Watford and
at half time, the Heat enjoyed a 12-2 burst at the start of the Includes free return Plymouth are guaranteed semi-final berths. By the time you
read this, the Champions League will be down to eight teams,
third quarter to take the score out to 50-56 in their favour, and
maintained that lead at 57-63 going into the final stanza.
bus travel to the all English teams are in with a fantastic chance of making the
In the final period, the Heat once again extended their lead at Spectrum Arena from Quarter-finals. How good would it be for the English game
the start of the quarter thanks to a 11-4 tear, which gave them Uni or town centre to have four of the last eight teams in the hat? Manchester
a 75-62 advantage. With just under 8 minutes to play the Heat United are now firm favourites for the Premiership title
were hit by a devastating blow as influential point guard Brian after their victory at Anfield. It’s now only 3 defeats in 15
Dux was called for his 5th foul, with the ball not in play, hence
Next home games: for United at Liverpool’s home. Finally, West Ham provided
ending his participation in the game. As the Heat regrouped spectators with one of the games of the season against Spurs,
London valiantly attempted to get themselves back into the Sunday 18th March only for the result to go horribly wrong for the Hammers.
I’ve continually doubted the fact they would be relegated
game, and an 8-0 burst midway through the period trimmed the
deficit to eight points at 76-68. The Heat were able to maintain
Worcester Wolves this season, but surely now it has become too much of a
this lead until a disputed refereeing decision caused uproar with Tip-Off 3pm desperate situation for West Ham to get out of, at least their
fans saw fight in their team against Tottenham.
the 100 plus traveling Heat support and the Heat bench which
ended in the Heat getting a technical foul. Following this the Wednesday 4th April Response
home side were able to close the game to 3 points at 84-81
before the Heat were able to secure the victory from the foul-
Chester Jets Not so many Arsenal fans continued the debate that they
line and a steal from Dan Wardrope. United star Tarik Johnson
Picture courtesy of Andy Bowler Tip-Off 7.30pm should be ranked as highly as Liverpool or Manchester
led all scorers with 27 points for London, while Daniel Gilbert United. Winning the Champions League and then a few
that in the cold light of day I will see the game for what it was seasons of domestic dominance is probably required first.
once again led the Heat again scoring 25 points for the 3rd time
in 3 games. Dave Mallon on his Heat debut showed signs of
another great win for my side.” Sunday 8th April However with the crop of youngsters coming through this
why he had been signed with a great dunk, 2 block shots and
The Heat return home to the Guildford Spectrum Sunday London United could be a reality for the Gunners in a few years time. In
the game even more would be criminal for fans. West Ham
verses Tottenham recently saw the ball in play merely twenty
minutes of the first half. Having more stoppages in play
for replays (many of which are far from conclusive) would
damage the game. Would every team have to have this?
Were Manchester United to play Boston in the cup, would
Boston have to fork out financially and install the equipment?
I feel moving football away from simplicity, the games we play
in the park, is wrong. There are many examples of technology
working; certainly in cricket and rugby (though I am very
much against the calls for LBW appeals to get have replays in
cricket). Controversy gives us talking points. What is your
opinion, I know there is a lot of divide in this debate?
points, yes EIGHTEEN points by the FA for fielding a player
that didn’t gain international clearance. This whole story is
outrageous. Jermaine Darlington was playing for Cardiff, got
injured, effectively retired, began playing non league, felt he
could compete again and immediately AFC stepped in to snap
him up. AFC got docked the points because they did not
declare (tick a box) that he had previously been registered
with a foreign governing body. However that foreign
governing body is the Welsh FA, and his team Cardiff play in
the English league!!
The full story is beginning to appear across main tabloids,
AFC are appealing and many MPs are signing a petition. AC
Milan bring the game into chaos, bribe referees, get docked
a mere eight points, Rotherham also bring the game into
trouble by entering administration, they lose ten points, the
‘Crazy Gang’ don’t tick a box, and lose EIGHTEEN POINTS!!
Ironically AFC Wimbledon are at the top (at time of press)
of their league, and would probably gain promotion to the
Vauxhall Conference South, but thanks to the FA this is now
unlikely. Mind you, fans shouldn’t be surprised; this is the
same FA that moved the ‘Dons to Milton Keynes, leaving its
loyal fans behind. Then made those fans watch their newly
formed AFC Wimbledon (complete with Wimbledon’s past
- so basically Wimbledon with an AFC in front) start a good
nine divisions below where Wimbledon was originally placed
in the league. All this being whilst the hated franchise, MK
Dons, sat pretty in Wimbledon’s rightful position (well, abused
it by getting relegated a couple of times) Someone explain
to me the fairness of this saga?

numerous rebounds.
11th March when they take on the Leicester Riders, tip off at
3.00 pm Tickets can be purchased from the Box Office on
Heat Scorers: Gilbert 25, Dux 16. Williams 15
01483 443333 or online at www.guildfordheat.com.
Paul James, Heat Head Coach, incensed with the refereeing
Before that the Heat travel to Plymouth next Saturday night
decisions in the final period commented, ‘We had worked hard
to take on the Raiders in a crucial game. The Heat are yet to
win in Plymouth this season and a defeat would dent the teams
during the game to establish a winning lead but it seemed that
title aspirations. If fans wish to support the team on their crucial
the referees wanted to make a close game of it. I am sure
away games contact the club on 01483 454005.
Tip-Off 3pm response to the ‘Big team/Small team’ debate, a few thought
Premiership status makes any side big, regardless of heritage
and attendance. Whereas some (possibly Southampton
Sunday 16th April fans?) thought; were a team like Portsmouth to play Leeds
Playoff Game or Nottingham Forest, Pompey would be the favourite, but
would also be the smaller team due to attendance (on the
(See: www.guildfordheat.com)
day I presume - not on average) and the prestigious heritage
of the opponent.
I feel it works in two ways, changing over time. If you look
Race for the Premiership
At time of press I feel eight teams could feasibly gain promotion
to the Premiership. Derby, West Brom, Birmingham,
Sunderland, Preston, Cardiff, Wolves and Southampton have
barely any points separating them. I have a lot of respect for
the job Roy Keane has done at Sunderland. He took over with
the team bottom and has taken his team right up the league.
He did have a good squad that simply needed motivating, but
If you enjoy reading and writing into Football Talk, then I’m
now on GU2 with presenter Barny Leavers. He has a sports
show every Monday 3-4 and Thursday 2-3 that I now join him
on and talk over all things sport. Any call ups, emails or MSN
chats into the show would be well received and discussed
on air.
Keep your responses to these topics and any topics you want
brought up in future columns coming in, as well as any sports

BBL League Table at the tables now, sides will be considered big in relation to he has certainly done that, and has made some astute buys. related articles to bf.sport@gmail.com

Competition their position on the ladder. Yes there are ‘sleeping giants’,
but in the present time, they are sleeping, and not as big as
His transfers have mainly been Irish players, he also has three
Trinidadian internationals and many English players. This tactic

To win one of five Guildford Heat t-shirts simply complete this

sentence. “Guildford Heat are so hot…”
This fortnights winner is Laurent whose phrase was...
‘Guildford Heat are so hot they set the
court ablaze when they step on it’
Keep your phrases coming in for a chance to win another t-
shirt!
www.guildfordheat.com
www.ussu.co.uk/heat
the current top flight teams. To look at periods of two to
about five years you can determine a big team in that period
simply referring to League positions. For example; Bolton
have been a big team in the last three years (top eight three
seasons running) regardless of heritage and attendance, from
2004/5 they are a certainly a current big side. However if
you freeze time, and look back on every year of football, you
can rank just how big sides are overall by total silverware,
years of dominance and attendances by simply adding up the
stats. This can determine the ‘giants’ who may or may not be
currently ‘big’. So Bolton are currently a big side, but not an
overall giant as of yet.
Goal line Technology
Are you for or against? Goal line cameras, video replays?
This debate has been raging since 1966 and has recently
resurfaced. My own opinion is that you should leave it how
it is. Controversy makes football what it is, you get some
decisions, you have some go against you. I feel breaking up
of employing countrymen together seems to be effective, all
these nations are obviously English speaking as well, and Keane ATTENTION!
clearly believes in team morale and communication being high.
All Sports Teams!
I would enjoy seeing him in the Premiership, especially going
up to Old Trafford. Sunderland have most of their remaining
games against the top twelve sides so they will have a big say After Easter there will be a
in promotion. I feel the Black Cats, along with Birmingham special barefacts Sport Issue...
and West Brom, due to their recent experience in the top
flight, have the advantage over the others. Who can you see
going up? We want to review as many
teams’ performances as possible!
FA, well done
Where Cardiff promoted next season, could the presence
of a Welsh team in the Premiership reignite to argument to Over Easter please send in your
bring Celtic and Rangers to the Premiership? Personally I team’s review of the year
feel they, along with the Welsh sides should remain in their (300-500 words) to:
own leagues, except maybe for a cup? Anyway, my topic here
is AFC Wimbledon. The team, who are basically Wimbledon
(they have won the rights for the Womble’s history against bf.sport@gmail.com
the Milton Keynes Dons) recently got docked eighteen
 SPORT
“joshfacts
24 12 March 2007

The most succesful SportsTeam at Surrey…

BY GAV
Surrey Bowlers Beat the Odds and Storm
to a Third Successive BUSA Championship
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN may I present to you the best sports club
of this University’s generation - the University of Surrey’s Ten
Pin Bowling Team. Fact. After a truly remarkable weekend of
bowling action, the Surrey boys came back from the death to
seize the silverware for the third successive year.
The BUSA weekend saw a shaky start with many of the B
team squad rolling around in a pool of bottles of wine at 5.30
in the morning – with an 8am departure time for the minibus;
this was looking unlikely for some. However, Dave Kendall
stormed to the rescue by picking up the alcoholic bums who
had missed the bus and by 9am they were steaming up to
Nottingham.
Upon arrival and meeting up with the rest of the squad
early indications were good – the quiz machine was loving
us. “Catchphrase” glimmered brightly as it lined our pockets
with gold…first blood to the Surrey boys! After an hour of
messing around trying to conquer the pool challenge from
hell set by Peter Chasmer the first pairs match began (to
give you background – six in a team, first day three pairs
matches are played). A solid start was then made…at the
bar. I wont lie to you, I’m not sure what happened on the
lanes…balls were bowled, tensions were high, stuff happened.
After all was said and done, by the end of the first day the
A team hit a good total to leave themselves within touching
distance of the leaders Nottingham. At this stage .many of the
B team…and one heroic member of the A team (who shall
remain nameless), were well on the way to sampling the local
brew, as we left for the evenings festivities. No one can or
will confirm or deny the events of that evening.
The following morning saw the long and tortuous
triples match. A cracking hangover for all concerned and a
malfunctioning lane every five minutes did not help anyone as
Surrey just about kept pace with Nottingham.For the afternoon
saw a game of five and a singles match, with Matt Gear putting
in very good performance in the singles, demolishing his
Nottingham counterpart. This set up a rollercoaster finish as
the Nottingham team and the boys went into the last match
about Even Stephens. However, ladies and gentlemen, this was
the moment where the collapse started. Out of the corners
of their eyes the team could see Nottingham build up a hefty
lead with our own bowlers in somewhat of a crisis. Nottinham
finished their last game before Surrey with a final game score
of well over a thousand pins (an average of over 200 per
man). Six frames in and Surrey were in turmoil. They had to
match Nottinghams score – which meant none of them could
afford to miss a pin. At this stage the easiest thing would have
been to lay down and die – but that was never the Surrey
way. Martin Neczaj led the charge with a strike that stemmed
a round of X’s as the Surrey boys roared ‘NO we will not
go quietly into the night….’ (Ah good old Bill Pullman). For
the remaining two frames the heroes pulled together
as the pins went tumbling. Come the last frame all men
needed at least a strike on their first. Chris Manders,
the Great Britain captain, led the way, Neczaj chipped
in, the resoundingly impressive Alex Thistleton, who had
been a rock all weekend, hit three strikes with aplomb.
Dave Kendall put pay to his pins and it all came down
to the ever reliable Rob Kendall – the pressure on this
mans shoulders truly immense. The crowd waited with
baited breath – you could literally here a pin drop!! In
true champion fashion, a perfect bowl steamed down
the alley and set the pins flying – as if there was ever
any doubt! From staring down the barrel with a 600
series at the halfway point, the reigning champs stormed to
985. Was it enough however - well, wait for it…wait for it - it
was! To the victor the spoils as Surrey took the silverware
home once more.
Unfortunately ten pin bowling does not get the respect it
deserves; it truly is a game of stamina. I put it to you to try
and play 9 games of bowling in 24 hours and consistently hit
the same score, let alone 200.
Unfortunately despite to my knowledge being the only BUSA
champions, let alone three time consecutive champions the
club seem destined to lose out at the best team at Colours
to ‘best team in limited competition’ award as demonstrated
over the last two years. Why this is the case is beyond me;
there is not a single club in this university that comes close
to touching the success we have had….
Special mention to Mark ‘Jolly’ Rodgers whose tireless
support and shot per turkey drinking kept us all amused! And
to Ashley Turner who unfortunately could not make it….
If you want to have a go at a bit of bowling and too be a
champion, head down to Woking bowl every Wednesday at
3.30pm.

Surrey Sport in action!

Photographs courtesy of Naveed Barakzai/Maxal Photography
These photos are available to download online at
www.maxal.co.uk/unis
If your team would like to be photographed please email details to
info@maxal.co.uk
Many more photos to come in the issue after Easter thanks to Nav

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